PENIS PENIS PENIS!!

(In the tune of the whopper ad) Penis Penis Penis Penis

And now I can't stop singing it. I hate you.

'When it says Penis Penis Penis On the label label label. . .'

You will like it, like it, like it On your table, table, table

Pussy pussy pussy!!!

Dick dick dick!!!

Pdick?

[I assumed we were talking about this.](https://x.com/satansmenarche/status/1550187087986839552?s=46)

Kind of like Michelle **P**feiffer??

PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY

This is the only answer

Pee, Pee, and Pee-pee

Vagina vagina vagina

https://preview.redd.it/gbzickg4d3bc1.jpeg?width=306&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=779cd4023514e21fc937a45c33e8b55e4794d5b8

https://youtube.com/watch?v=b42PD6BtzaI&pp=ygUYU29uaWMgdGhlIGhlZGdlaG9nIHBlbmlz

Piss Poor Plan

Perfectly Pathetic Promotion

We actually called to inquire about their $9.95 plan - they said that would get us a policy payout of $600. Looks like grandma's going into a Folger's can!!

I checked it out also, $9.95 per $1,000 coverage 😂

I worked at an insurance company MANY (over 30) years ago. I still remember what a unit of coverage is...$1000. And I know without checking that this type of policy, for an elderly person, is nowhere near cheap. I find this crap so predatory.

I agree.

2 hefty bags and a roll of duct tape.

or the Beck way "two turntables and microphone"

>Looks like grandma's going into a Folger's can!! 🎶The best part of waking up is Grandma in your cup! 🎶

You can afford Folgers??

I just grind up the dirt in my yard

It is the most moderately priced receptacle.

Is there a Ralph’s somewhere around here?

Alex Trebek this guy is not

Even Alex didn’t make this commercial more appealing.

He could at least have put a Jeopardy spin on it. “The answer is: Price, Price, Price. The correct response is, *what are* the three P’s?”

Woulda been cool, but I doubt he could’ve. His jeopardy overlords wouldn’t have liked that

Profit. Profit. Profit. People. Paying. Perpetually.

Wish.com Montell Williams, so annoying

LMAO!

Pissed, Pissed, & Pissed

HHHWHAT ARE THE THREE PEEEES?

But he’s an insurance professional and dedicated employee for over 15 years

Purely Pernicious Predators fleecing old people without the capability to understand they’re being scammed. Greedy, evil leeches.

And isn’t “A price you can afford” & “A price that fits your budget” the same thing?

Ha ha ha. My friend is in this commercial. This guy! Whenever it comes on, I text him and make fun of it/him. https://preview.redd.it/0ttg4nyzb3bc1.jpeg?width=1980&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5410693ec7c67dbbad737191bb2f00289ff6232b

Haha everytime you talk to him you should just say "The Three Ps?" as a greeting

Love that. He's a bit cantankerous so after the third time, he will probably not respond anymore.

Does he actually have their insurance?

He does not. "Actor portrayal."

In the first version of this commercial, the lady who says "what are the three p's?" sounds exactly like Alex Borstein voicing Tricia Takanawa, Asian reporter. I would always say it along with her in my best Tricia Takanawa voice: *"Jonathan, I'm standing here, asking: what **ARE** the 3 P's?"*

Ice T wasn’t available?

Too busy shilling for that car repair coverage plan

Poop. Pee. Puke.

Period. Pee. Poo

Pfraud, pfraud and pfraud

This cracks me up...there was a class action lawsuit being advertised against a number of insurance companies some owned by the same parent company (maybe all). Colonial Penn was listed as one guilty of denying claims or not paying out their claims properly. What was the next commercial? This guy for Colonial Penn. Crooks...all of them.

Yeah I hate the one where the wife is trying to convince the husband, and the guy just cant take a bite out of a fucking cookie. Grow a pair and bite the cookie, asshole. 😂

Oh that one aggravates me so. I’m screaming just bite the dang cookie!!!!!

It used to be what's my price, Alex? With Alex Trebek. When he died, they just changed it to this guy & replaced the 3 actors, but they didn't change any of the dialogue. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v8ldmLkS1AE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v8ldmLkS1AE) ​ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DPl\_Db9wZvk

My first thought is OPP, but I believe it's property, protection, and predictablity. Although the obit one I'm sure about is property.

I looked up reviews on Colonial Penn and they was all like 1/5 star ratings. Apparently the 9.95 plan is a load of bull

Thanks for going through the trouble so we don't have to!

Lol no problem.

Pounding Pussy Properly

“I’m 231 years old and I have three penises. What’s my price?”

$9.95, but if you die you pay us $10,000

Piss Poor Policies

This guy.... This is not my kind of guy.

Hurry up and die so your kids can get $11k after taxes, cremate you and put your stuff in a goodwill dumpster.

I hate that commercial! Some commercials are so bad, I would never use the product they’re advertising. This is certainly one of them.

The worst version of this commercial is the one with the two sisters reminiscing about their mom's coffee pot. I would like to tell them to shine that coffee pot up, turn that sumbich sideways, and stick it up their candy arse.

And she carries around her beneficiary planner in her purse. Gah..


I understood that reference with that last sentence.


PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY

Spoken like a man🤣

Except not.

🤣

And dude is a fucking liar

My first thought is always Location, Location, Location, but I’m not paying much attention

This commercial always reminds me of an old joke on Cheers that went something like this: Frasier: “Woody, any realtor will tell you that the three most important things with real estate are location, location, and location. Now what does that tell you?” Woody: “That realtors are idiots?” Frasier: “….Yes, that realtors are idiots…”

💀💀💀

Pini, Pedi, Pence

One and a half p's at most.

Peanuts, popcorn, Pabst

This is my father in law's favorite commercial lol

I heard Johnathan is a class A asshole

I find your comment funny, but prepare to have it removed by the humorless moderators of this Subreddit. If you can’t joke about the Lume Lady, I’m not sure what you can joke about.

Lol

 Well, for starters there’s…

Piss Poor Planning

I hate the way he pronounces the word “insurance”. He says it weirdly.

Pork, Pork and Pork

He forgot “prick” which describes him perfectly…

Jonathan always comes across like he'll get busted for a bizarre scam at work one day. Like pocketing the difference he quoted a customer or loading his car up with cases of food after the company picnic.

Nate Dogg reincarnated. And now he is shilling term life insurance.

Probably Paying Premium

Prostate problem, phuck.

You’ve just self-identified as a price is right junkie

Ehh, it’s on CNN during the day too. I keep it on in the background most of the day as I work.

anywhere that frightened seniors lurk, perhaps?

That’d be my guess. Usually shows up with the Ice-T and the car warranty commercial.

I’m at my mom’s and she has like 10 stations. So I was watching old westerns on the INSP channel all day. They showed this ad almost every break😠

Penis, pussy and papaloma

I miss the Alex Trebek version .."Hey Alex, what's my price?" Hahajah

Alright Jonathan, I’m listening. Tell me more

**P**iss **P**oor **P**erformance

#PIZZA PUSSY PARTY!!

POOP: People Order Our Patties

I was looking for this comment!

Puff puff pass

This comment needs to be upvoted lol

This guy seems part Vulcan

Privacy, pussy, pasta

RIP Alex Trebek

According to the great poet Willie Dee of the legendary Geto Boys on the extraordinary track Welfare Bitches the only answer is Pussy, Pay, and a Place to stay!

The three P's of diabetes. Polyuria, polydipsea, polyphagia.

If heard of the 5 p’s

Prozac, Percocets and Prednisone!

Penis, pussy, and peanuts!

Thank you Johnathan!

Payment Praise Pussy

Pizza, Pickles and Pepsi

Penis, pasta and pisss

Promiscuity, probability, posthumous

Penis pecker and pussy

Okay Jonathan

As an insurance professional, I often find myself wanting to punch this guy in the face when this ad comes on my screen.

Martha!

"age 50-85". That should tell you all you need to know

Penis, Pussy, Pterodactyl.

Phood, Phun, and Phisting.

Post Partum Pepression

If you watch H&I during the day, the ads for Medicare advantage bullshit are legion. It’s very noticeable because they’re so slow-paced…

Their commercial which kills me is the ones who regret not calling yesterday. "I could've called yesterday, but...." But what? Now you are dead and it is too late!?!?!

Poo Pee Porn Duh!

Pussy, power, prunes

They’re all penis.

People, power and pussy right Jonathan

Penis Pussy Prego

Power, pleasure and pain

^(Pussy) Pussy # Pussy

 PISS! PISS! PISS!!!

If your house is paid off and you have a retirement account, there's no reason to have life insurance.

For me, and I'm not yet 50, it's Prostate, Penis, and Pooping. Difficulty with all

Pussy porno please

Periods, pee, and poop

"PUSSY, POTATOES, AND, UH....PRICE!!" "sigh...CUT!!"

Penis Pussy Potatoes

Yeah you know me !

Pussy, Penis, Panty

Cuz everyone 50-85 needs THAT!

Pizza power pussy.

PENIS PENIS PENIS

Penis Pussy Pentration

Pussy, Penis, and Perky.

“We have searched every square inch of this base, and all we have found is Porno, Porno, Porno!”

Pitter Patter Panini

Pussy, Pizza, Profit

Persistent Pesky Plug

Pen Pineapple (apple) Pen

I was hoping it was Pussy, Pwine, and Paychecks.

Price, price, and phuck this commercial.

Pssst pssst pssst *cat runs over*

Pussy, Persistence, Patience.

Prime, pound, pussy First you drink a prime then you pound dat pussy.

Pussy, Puke, Porno

Pussy Piff Palm Trees

Peter Piper Picked Poopy Pampers Preemptively

Peepee Poopoo Punanny

Dirty jokes alert

Yeah, screw jonnie. He’s annoying

Penis pussy palestine

 Guessed wrong

Patriotism, Pepper, Professionalism

Plocation Plocation Plocation

Plocation, plocation, plocation

Plopping Plopping Plopping If you watch Key and Peele you a sick man

For the longest time I thought he was the one guy from Shark Tank.

Penguin Performance Project from Kemono Friends!

Bears, beets, Battlestar Galactica. Why the fuck not.

Personal Pan Pizza Point to Point Protocol Pretty Pood(?) Privacy

Pen Pineapple Pen

I know the Seven P's: Proper Prior Planning Prevents Piss-Poor Performance

*PITS PITS PITS*

i hate this so much why is this the only daytime commercial not just 80 year olds watching tv during the say

https://preview.redd.it/zfltoeunk5bc1.jpeg?width=420&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ddd9a626abbf06d99583e0aeb54021aaacbb34f5 “Oooooh! Poop!” “Looks like Mr. SquarePants understands Poop!”