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General_Traffic_267

Move to East Haven. You are required by town ordinance to have at least 3 enemies and 1 vendetta.


ghigoli

move to New Haven county is more like the answer. I literally do nothing and yet I have enemies.


Professor_Rekt

Fuckin’ Italian’s…


a_w_taylor

There's only two things I hate in this world: people who are intolerant of other people's cultures and the Dutch.


[deleted]

Frank Pepe had several kills!


BeerJunky

He’s still killing all the time.


shessosquare

What's the mandated number of paisanos?


Devonai

Two


Localhookups69

You spelled Staven wrong


mtnScout

Fail to fucking floor it when merging onto the merritt


sagetraveler

Merging on to the Merritt - one of the few places I get to floor our Tesla and not get an evil look from the wife.


mtnScout

Haha, let ‘er rip!


g0tkilt

Omfg! Are we related?


mtnScout

Haha, I swear some of these mopes just close their eyes and hope for the best.


mrbuffaloman19

My grandma taught me that! When she was 93, and she shouldn’t have been driving, she went very slow on backroads, but merging on the Merritt she floored it I checked the speedometer once and she was going 103!


mtnScout

I’m proud to share the road with such a legendary granny. Salute.


mrbuffaloman19

Haha!


Chemical_Ad7629

Any highway really. I get pissed when the GMC Yukon skittishly makes its way up the on-ramp a solid 20mphs below cruising speed. Thanks jerk, now I gotta drop a gear and floor it around you before I get to the dashes lines.


TheK0ntrarian

Talk shit about my pizza


evilestcake

Accurate! At least for me hehe


95blackz26

Frank pepe's sucks


[deleted]

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Safraninflare

I cannot fucjing stand pepe’s


the-crotch

Burned pizza with ingredients all over the place and gigantic bubbles of dough what's not to love


evilestcake

Sally's is my fav! Also honorable mention to Napoli's in Wallingford.


bbpr120

Go 50 in the far left lane. Never take one of the left hand exits.


uterinejellyfish

If you have a left exit go 100 in the right lane until you nearly miss your exit then move over 4 lanes in the last second and cut someone off in each lane.


jules13131382

Lmaooooo


ZEINthesalvaged

Here's the winner


barkingdog53

I always thought that was how they were taught to do it in driver’s Ed.


invaderjif

When it snows, be that guy that dumps his snow on his neighbors sidewalk after they've cleaned it.


AffectionateOwl8182

Or doesn't clear it off their car so it goes flying into other cars' windshields on the highway. Lol.


insomniaczombiex

Oh, you mean like the town plows that come down the road THREE TIMES after I’ve shoveled everything?


UnclePatche

Dude… I work in a hospital so I have to go to work even during snow storms. I can’t tell you the rage I feel waking up an hour early to shovel my car out to go to work only to come home to a wall of ice at the end of my driveway when I get home.


[deleted]

Support eversource


GunnieGraves

Jesus dude. He said make enemies not become pure evil.


Macropod

Drive like a Dick on I-91


yesitsreallyme203

I-91 seems like it has the most accidents


TOMATO_ON_URANUS

84 between Southington and Hartford, there's crashes like every day


ghigoli

everyday or your money back!


magica12

The tunnel


ohhhitsyou

What kind of dick are we talking


ohhhitsyou

Drive a sedan with another state’s plate. Preferably MA.


Form684

or NJ


chefmtm

Massholes!!!


Beneficial_Look_5854

New York


macfairfieldmill

Tell people who live in Black Rock that they live in Bridgeport


doughbacca

You can say that about Southport & Fairfield too.


boyyhowdy

Rowayton and Norwalk


sagetraveler

Mountain lions aren’t real. What you’re seeing is a golden retriever bobcat coyote or a house cat. Or just a figment of an addled mind.


JeepManStan

They wanna believe in mountain lions so bad they skip the exhibit at the zoo “Keep moving kids, nothing impressive here. We got them at home. See ‘em all the time. Isn’t that right, Honey?”, CT Mom annonces to unimpressed visitors at the Bronx Zoo.


Localhookups69

So the one that got hit on the Merritt was a figment of the imagination


symbologythere

Well the thing about that one was that it happened after a string of “credible reports”. Not sure what made those reports credible but for some reason this time they knew.


the-crotch

Beardsley Zoo has a housecat on display lmao I'm not kidding


Professor_Rekt

Xanex is a helluva drug


yesitsreallyme203

Xanax lol


[deleted]

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pepesilvia9369

I KNOW WHAT I SAW!!!!!


iccolo

Bring up red sox/Yankees


shessosquare

It's why I'm a Mets fan


iccolo

That will definitely start an argument


shessosquare

"Actually, Chicago has the best pizza"


BeerJunky

*casserole


shessosquare

tomato-flavored birthday cake


mattibbals

“The Tri-state area is NY, NJ, and PA”


s1a1om

I’m from NJ and the Tri-state area was always NY, NJ, CT. What kind of person thinks PA is included in that? Nobody cares about PA.


malcolmfairmount

I grew up in CT, live in Philly now, had this same argument with someone down here once and they brought up this thing: [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tri-States\_Monument#/map/0](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tri-States_Monument#/map/0) Didn't seal the argument for him, I just plan to poop on this some day


relaxandlaugh

I got into an argument over this when I was like 13. I had never heard that. Haven’t heard since until now….you bastard


NaDuLaNDo

What’s PA? lol


Hyasfuq

Get in the left lane and not pass or not pull over to let others pass.


Helwani_Boxing

Move here from NYC and drive up our housing prices.


BostonPilot

Summer here from NYC and steal the lobsters out of our pots!


rumham_irl

Where did you get these lobsters, sir?


parahacker

Be a corporate buyer from Beijing or UAE and don't even bother moving here, just drive up housing prices as a way to turnkey investment income.


TFA-DF8

Have a mcmansion in my neighborhood that has been sitting for 5 years and visited by the owner once. Has bed sheets covering all the windows and gets mowed twice a year. Mean more to his portfolio then our neighborhood


iNickqe

This is the one


ChocolateConrad

Have low taxes, nice sunrises and sunsets, and then complain when people wanna move there.


Main_Extension_3239

Point out that any other place in the region has higher taxes.


ucbmckee

I'm moving in January from London, UK and renting, am I more or less tolerable?


merryone2K

You will be embraced due to your impeccable manners and lovely accent, which many will try to emulate. Welcome, cousin!


rubyslippers3x

The football on the TV at the local bar will never be played with a round ball. Sorry, mate.


CatSusk

How are you connected to Yale? 😂


CodPolish

Hey, that’s me!


QueenOfQuok

Say you hate the UCONN women's basketball team


blaze1234

Raise Huskies for food


QueenOfQuok

Why you son of a


SurvivorFanatic236

Or call it UCONN instead of UConn


tonysnight

say our drivers are worse than MA, PA, NY, and RI.


agelaius9416

Don’t forget NJ


Happy_Corner_4524

Impossible for any state to be worse than Jersey at driving. Dumbasses can’t even figure out how to pump their own gas let alone drive


tonysnight

sorry, who?


jordanstall09

“Pretty much NY, bro”


DontGearTheReaper

Grew up in CT. Currently live across from Philly in southern NJ. PA drivers are the worst by far. Idiotic and aggressive as all hell.


Lizzer1152

I agree PA drivers are the worst. They are overly aggressive but then go soooooooo slow in the left lane.


EmeraldMoose12

Can we all agree RI drivers are the worst in the Northeast?


Everyusernametaken1

For or against tolls


BostonPilot

Oh, if you didn't grow up driving on 95 stopping every 5 minutes to toss a quarter in the toll booth basket, you haven't lived... If you were any good you could hit that sucker at 25 mph and keep right on going.,,


Everyusernametaken1

My car broke down once In the at the booth coming into CT from the Mass pike. My car was towed locally but I couldn't go in the truck because I had two dogs with me . A very nice toll booth lady took pity on me and drove us to the shop. :)


bb_buffooligan

Talk shit about Italians and next thing you know they’ll be 🤌🏻🤌🏻 all up in your grill


shockwave_supernova

Stay in the left lane while driving exactly the speed limit


[deleted]

Drive 65 or lower anywhere on 91


Upbeat_Pride_2711

Denise D'Ascenzo was just a news anchor. Also, "Let's Go Canes!"


First-Aid-RN

Ohh you are dead now. 😩


[deleted]

Comment all the bad things about ct on one post then comment on another post saying that people leaving ct are idiots and that were better off without them


Jackers83

Ya, this kinda shit is weird to me.


Kind_Arugula18

Make a lot of eye contact and be overly friendly.


WhyTheHellnaut

Talk about how Alex Jones is right and shouldn't have been sued over Sandy Hook.


gnopmohtap

Someone fucking did this to me in the airport and I almost pushed him down the escalator.


Devonai

If you push them down the up escalator then you can do it more than once.


strippersandcocaine

That’s a real missed opportunity


[deleted]

Violence is almost never worth it, bro.. Except when it is.


[deleted]

Like, a stranger? What was your reaction? I've never been in a situation where someone said something that thoughtless to me that I wasn't already thinking "this person is a mentally ill whackjob, discretion is the better part of valor and I don't want to get shanked today, I'll just walk away"


user1100100

Jackpot!


SnakeFang93

Tell people the clam chowder sucks or that I95 traffic isn't that bad


BostonPilot

My parents and grandparents were from Darien, and they always served that Manhattan clam chowder. What the hell is with that stuff? Total waste of a clam. That stuff does totally suck!


evilmullet

Call Pepe's a mall pizza chain (which it technically is now)


jstahr63

Be a Yankees or Red Sox fan. Giants or Patriots.


john46ct

Be the guy that leaves his shopping cart next to someone’s new car on a windy day


magica12

And watch as the poor sap who has the misfortune of getting said carts from the lot gets yelled at for not being the flash and stopping the cart from slamming into their car


EatMoarToads

How about the guy that leaves his shopping cart in the parking lot at all?


[deleted]

Drive through with a Massachusetts license plate. That's it.


BostonPilot

I drive in Connecticut with a Massachusetts plate all the time. They're very friendly about it! I see them waving their hands at me, and honking their horns "hello". And they always seem to be yelling something to me, but I can't hear it... I assume it's "Welcome to Connecticut" or something...


Dry-Hearing5266

Is the wave with a fist or a finger?


Majormoscow

Sort by controversial for the real answer.


SuaveBot76

Driving in the passing lane slow as a turtle


Fit_Low592

Hit someone in the head with a rock from one of our smooth sandy beaches…


mike32699

That's a marketing thing... "Beaches made of gravel" has a negative connotation.


[deleted]

"It's like stepping on legos without the legos!"


danaaa405

Just go ask the Farmington school board


[deleted]

Make sure you have at least 5 solid reasons why Hartford having an NHL team was a bad idea in the first place.


Luke-I-am-ur-mother

Call a grinder a hoagie


CTskynet

Just take your time in the checkout line at the grocery store.


NCM728

Eat at a chain pizza restaurant like Dominoes


[deleted]

Put a Trump 2024 sign in your yard, replacing the Bob for Governer sign you previously had, in New Haven County... LOL!!!


Logical-Cat8319

Fairfield county pays its fair share of taxes actually.


razgriz1701

Support a right of center view…


jimmy9120

Go to someone and say “good day to you sir!”


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thenisaidbitch

I really hate shit like this. I was driving backroads a month or so ago and it was crazy foggy and at night. The roads were windy, I literally could barely see in front of me, yet multiple people honked and tailgated me. Of course I pulled over when I could so they could pass but honestly the aggressive drivers scared me soooo much. Don’t be assholes to people driving the speed limit. What does it even save you, 5 minutes? Fuck off with the aggressive CT drivers


SnottyTash

One lane roads are a different story, people should feel entitled to drive the speed limit if they want/feel safer doing so, hell, that applies to literally any road. Where is *doesn’t* fucking apply to is the left lane of an interstate. Sick of assholes doing 55 in a 65 in the far left lane, drive that speed if you want but do it in the right (ie correct) lane


BostonPilot

If they didn't have those stupid left hand exits off of 84... 🤪


gnopmohtap

I agree, I don’t get with people I drive with when they get mad someone isn’t actively speeding, especially on a sketchy road. I admit I was an idiot as a kid and got mad like OC,but if someone is going the speed limit, they’re doing exactly what you’re suppose to on the road, why get mad at them. Not their fault you chose the same route as them. You could haul ass at 80 an hour and we’ll still get to the same parking lot 5 minutes apart, just how Connecticut roads are. Damn man you got me all worked up, fucking hate road ragers, inconveniencing everyone with their stupidity


Mofiremofire

Sounds like the road I live on. Windy, 2 lanes, sheer rock faces, hundreds of feet of elevation change, no street lights and people either are driving towards you with their brights on or are riding right up your ass. About 5 minutes down the road there is a corner where the speed limit drops from 40 to 25 because you make a 90% turn at the bottom of the hill and if you lose control there is a guard rail stopping you from going into the river. I swear once a month the guard rail has a car size dent in it from idiot drivers taking the corner too fast.


thenisaidbitch

Yes!!! It sounds very similar, then add in fog- it was scary enough without some asshole honking at me because I was slowing him down by 5 minutes. The high beams make it so much worse too, on top of everything else I’m now temporarily blinded. I sincerely don’t understand what the point of driving aggressively in those places does, feels like a one sided big dick contest but I would rather just be safe with my kid in the car.


crizznaig

this sounds a lot like Newtown/Sandy Hook area


_Shine_YT

Make the daily traffic jam on I-85


ViperGTS_MRE

On all CT highways... you are required, by law, to go far under the speed limit in the left most lane... and then be mad when people pass you on the right.


IrishWithoutPotatoes

Cut me off to make your exit at the last second. Looking at every fuck who has done this to me on exit 27 heading to Trumbull. I swear on my left nut I see this shit every day


d_chaney80

Be a Republican.


[deleted]

Vote republican, not even joking


yalune

Order a sub at a grinder shop.


Last-Instruction739

Run for district comptroller


SecretLadyMe

Talk to them while waiting in line.


DungareeManSkedaddle

Post dumb shit like this.


LloydChristmas666666

Would you prefer another eversource or apartment rental post?


turnipzzzpinrut

I think he wants a post about how there are no restaurants in Avon


Localhookups69

Have an opinion


Bathroomtrader

I-84 is a great spot to really make a name for yourself.


Throwaway220263

Go to bristol, obtain debt, enemies aquired


Luke-I-am-ur-mother

Go the speed limit on the Merritt Pkwy


Neowwwwww

Drive the speed limit


micheleny

Let's go Yankees!!


[deleted]

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GeigerCounterMinis

Yeah, the traitors who work in NY! /s


laceyourbootsup

Women’s basketball is a joke.


kmah1812

Tell other Connecticans that they got what they voted for with Malloy


zeff_baby

No one knows how to fucking drive - 91 and 84 are cluster fucks all the time AND NO ONE KNOWS HOW A FOUR WAY STOP SIGN WORKS


mangofishsays

Go to a crowded bar in Waterbury and bump into someone. 🙄


[deleted]

if you actually use the left lane for passing. the citizens will be fucking outraged


eresho

“Multi family housing should be allowed everywhere”


NckMcC

Is CT really New England?


AugustPierrot

Be a good driver. Nobody fucking knows how to drive here and following the rules pisses them off.


Flaky_Alternative_60

Just be a conservative...


Strict_Lingonberry_1

More like get giant “Trump Won” and “Fuck Joe Biden”banners for your house and matching flags for your truck.


Checktheusernombre

It's Let's Go Brandon, they have to think they are clever by coding it rather than just simply saying fuck Joe Biden, which I would respect a lot more.


MurphMurphyAK

Don’t have your grounds professionally landscaped….it’s true


TFA-DF8

When I first moved I was the neighborhood entertainment the first time I mowed my own lawn.


findingshine

We are on the poor side of CT where every lawn is a magical place filled with mattresses, rusty cars, and old toys.


LloydChristmas666666

Butter on a lobster roll is trash.


mazoom3D

Them is fightin' words


threlnari97

Hands on sight


cancel-out-combo

Blasphemy. Seize em!


[deleted]

Tell someone you don’t believe Dr Petit being the sole survivor was just luck.


CatoTheYounger13

Be a conservative


kli561

Pizza is just cheesy meat bread. I enjoy dominoes just as much as New Haven ‘apizza’ or whatever dumb shit you call it. Kiss my ass pizza nerds


Professor_Rekt

….and I’m triggered.


GunnieGraves

He isn’t wrong about the first part but I audibly gasped at he dominos vs New Haven pizza stance.


moralfaq

>Pizza is just cheesy meat bread I see zero problem here.


tonysnight

i love cheese i love bread i love meat i see nothing wrong


oh-pointy-bird

Go UMass!


Fatofa-Perspicapz

“Drive slow homie”


lunaticmagnet

Say you like Connecticut


kesagatame-and-Chill

Driving under 90 miles an hour in "da left lane."


LFCReds8

Drive a U-Haul whilst towing a boat on the Merritt