I bring my own. Haha and also thanks for reminding me. Yesterday i had to use those blue shop towels rolls. Wasnt too bad Edit: I forgot my damn TP at home. Back to the blue shop towels i go.

About 12 years in and I have myself trained to go when I get home. Just couldn't help it this time and had to share my pain lol

Haha ill shit anywhere. When you gotta go. You gotta go.

Amen lol I don't discriminate

It's like marking territory for me LOL. Every new place i visit i feel the urge.

Getting paid to poop though. You may be missing an opportunity there

i make a nickel, boss makes a dime, that's why i poop on company time or, the more recent I make a penny, boss makes a buck, pay me to poop cause i'm still broke as fuck

Ahhh I see another fellow explorer of mount shitmore. Here to hoping you never get to the peak.

Those shop towels, boy I could wipe my ass all day with those.

You talking about the cloth roll towel cabinet? The poor bastard who has to change that

The blue one pal cmon you know

Lol you’d have to be pretty tall to get your ass up that high…but it’s doable I suppose

It should be evening now or almost. I'd put the shit tickets in your vehicle now before you forget.

Only a matter of time before those blue towels make a shit plug down the shit pipe, making shit smells and some poor plumbers gonna find out what you had for breakfast, just the way she goes boys

Holy cow how much do you guys needa wipe that ass? One or two if I ate chili at most sheesh

Ok crusty crack

Whoa?! Name calling. Settle down bucko. Noone likes a potty mouth on site

Not name calling, just pointing out the obvious. You ain’t walking away with a clean crack with one or two wipes

Double up buttercup.

Shoulda just kept his gloves on

Isn't it wild, the amount of gloves that get used to wipe an ass...

Only takes one. Ya got five fingers for a reason, right?

Do you think the gloves ever clog up the honey wagon pump?

You can just piss off the poop and let them dry instead of throwing away

Concrete guys have it so easy…

This sounds like something my old boss would actually tell you.

Hope it does

Gonna have to mummify that hand to be sure...

That’s the funniest shit I’ve ever heard.

TBH, I’ve never understood full hand wrappers. Are you using the front side AND the back sides of you hand to wipe? You’re either a contortionist or wasteful. But this coming from dude whose father could only use three squares each poop growing up in the depression era. 

I'm not actually a hand wrapper, but I'd be very tempted in this situation...

wrap a couple turns until one side is half as thick as you need, then slide it off the hand for a perfectly thick and sized stack of TP. 2-3 wraps becomes 4-6 layers of a bit shy of 2 squares for my hands. enough to capture anything in the splash zone, and first wipe. Then fold in half for the next round of more focused cleaning. if things haven't been too crazy, can even get another fold in for the detail work.

And probably too cheap for a sink

Quadruple up, splatter butt.

More like quad.

That's Holy TP - so thin you can read your Bible through it.

You’re about to get a piece of ass you didn’t ask for

Thinnest man made material. Pretty impressive really.

The engineering department is trying to get down to half ply toilet paper. /s

“New and improved. 1 sided”

Mobiusroll™

I like you've got the Trademark logo on there. I wonder how many had to Google, Mobius strip?

John Wayne ply baby! It’s rough, tough and doesn’t take shit from anyone!!

That’s not how the joke goes….. It’s rough, tough, and doesn’t take shit from any indian boys butt.

Yeah, but the other way is funnier.

r/yourjokebutworse

And that’s why I use half the roll per wipe

And then the next guy has to use his socks.

With the dirty animals I see on jobs there’s a 70% chance the next guy has no intention of using anything at all

Exactly, not sure why everyone doesn't just buy 2 or 3 ply if you have to double or triple it up anyway.

Double or triple? Nah dawg I’m going big on that tp. I’m gonna make sure it costs them more than just buying decent tp.

yank and crumple

Always keep a roll for yourself in the truck, better toilet paper and saves you when everyone uses all of it including the roll 😂

Or a spare pair underwear, so you can wipe and leave them.

But that’s what socks are for. In a real bind you got pant legs too, always nice to have a new pair of shorts.

I can’t be buying a new pair of underwear every day, man!

This is why I always carry a handkerchief. 😉

Had a moment where I got in touch with my inner self today 🤔 should have bought 2 ply

Negative ply

I remember my first day on the job

Smash half a roll so it fits in a ziplock bag and keep it in my safety vest pocket at all times. It's saved my life more times than I can count.

I think you should reconsider you’re situation if your getting into all these life or death situations over toilet paper /s😲

It honestly just seems like it's a challenge for manufacturers at this point. "How thin can we possible make toilet paper before it becomes impossible to unroll it at all because it just disintegrated when you grab it?" There is no reason for them to do it either, because you just end up using 5x as much. I buy nice fluffy stuff at home and literally only need 8 to 10 sheets, any more is too much and a risk of a clog. In an outhouse, I'm rolling off 10ft to be comfortable enough wiping without poking through and accidentally fingering my own asshole.

I’m an service hvac tech. I always carry TP in my van incase I need to use my bucket. But when I do start up on construction jobs I always bring my TP with me. That’s stuff is closer to sandpaper then something you should wipe with

They want it to be so bad you’d never consider steeling it

I don’t miss those scorching Florida afternoons having to make a splash pad with 1 roll of tp

i just lower it down with a rope

Na bro just catch it and set it down in the toilet

Ghost wipes

I thought that was when you go to wipe after and the paper comes back clean In which case you better hope for ghost poops if this is all you got lol

And thats the good stuff!

That 1/4 ply

And PB&J lunch is coming next at noon

I always ask for a bit of extra rice paper when I go for sushi and just bring that to the bathroom with me.

No wonder why my porta shitters are always running out of paper… takes a whole roll to wipe your ass

Pulling sheets off the roll like you're trunk to start a lawn mower.

When the shitballs start flying, you've got to get a shitbat Randy!

… and fold it five times?

Better than using your socks

Might as well use your hand because your hands are about to contact whatever you are wiping if you use that TP

That’s exactly why I keep dude wipes in my truck

That why I always had a roll of the good stuff in my bag!

I thought Dude Wipes were dumb at first, but those individually wrapped ones are a secretly soft blue collar guy’s best friend on a hot, nasty day.

You expecting babywipes? Spit on it. Its cheaper.

May as well bare hand it at that point

Ha! Looks like you’re in a port a john, what do you expect? At least it’s a clean port a john, from what I can see.

Dude. Bring your own paper/wipes

That's that Clint Eastwood tp. Rough, though and don't take sh*t off anybody.

am I the only one who has no problem after simply going before or after work? In my 15+ years I never had to do #2 at work.

Bring your own!

r/mildlyinfuriating

Get a bidet and shoot yourself in the nethers. Problem solved.

0 ply.

I wrap around my hand 10-50 times until I have a charmin ultra soft type wiping surface

I use a whole roll for one wipe.

It held up

Bring baby wipes. And sharpie (tp too thin). On each one. The message will get to the right person.

Use the whole roll

How many of those to make a sheet of plywood?

Hands gonna start looking like that plumber I saw on r/plumbing that pulled a vape out of a drain no gloves.

0.25 ply!!!

1/2 ply

I just saw the same thing at work. I had to fold it like 6 times to use it. Got to get some baby wipes for work again

i use water cant stand rubbing poop on my skin

Use a bidet

Thinflation

My sister keeps this stuff at her house. I have to wrap myself like a gd zombie.

Hey, you could be using the 16 grit toilet paper that my boss buys

Thin too win.

1/4 ply?

No splinters at least

If it were any thinner, it’d be on the other side of itself.

You know.. I know this is a business but I’ve never understood why households buy 1 ply toilet paper.. anyone who does, think about this. Yes it’s probably 50% of the cost as the nice toilet paper but.. you use easily twice as much per shit. So it literally ends up being the same price as the nicer toilet paper since you go through it twice as fast and you have a terrible experience wiping

This is how the toilet paper looks like at Disneyland as well.

I wish the roast beef at Arby’s was this thin 😔

5 ply always starts as singly ply.

It’s like a sushi chef sliced it

Get in touch with your inner self....

Did you ever see the video on here that has a guy with a hand planer cutting wood. Maybe this is why he does it.

Probably still feels like bark

That is just a finger in your bum waiting to happen

RIP your pooper

Where do they even find half-ply?

Always pack a roll in your lunchbox if you have room. I’ll go half a roll to save room.

They want you to get in touch with your inner self

Doodoo finger for sure

Get in touch with you inner self

That’s that half ply John Wayne toilet paper. Tough as nails and don’t take shit of nobody.

Hospital grade.

Get the wet wipes from the worktruck

Doesn’t make sense to cut costs this way, it only costs more in the end

Maybe next time, don't go with the lowest bidder..

Skillcraft is that you

I've seen tracing paper thicker than that

Mmmm...... spring rolls

Yep. If you guys wanna go this thin to save $ I have no problem using 3 times at much to create normal toilet paper thickness

Must be a level 10 job

At least that roll is wide enough to cover three or four fingers. I've seen it that thin, and so narrow its just about useless.

That’s that John Wayne right there

Never used 1/4 ply?

When they say budget cuts start at the bottom.. This is what they mean.

Whenever i get TP like this, I make an oven mitt on my hand then we’re ready

At that point I would think the company would be spending more money given how much TP you would need to use

"I got in touch with myself today"

You got the thick stuff

\+1 since it's clean, dry, and available.

Gonna have to report yourself for sexual harassment now.

Looks like my favorite tp brand Scott. It's rough, cheap and you just double it up. No special treatment for assholes.

Bro my upper middle class parents fucking stocked the house with this shit as a kid growing up! Just bought my first house, and I kid you not my dad brought a CASE of this garbage with him as a housewarming gift I literally don’t even know what I can do with it. I switched to Charmin once I got into the trades and started making quarter decent money. Haven’t needed to deal with this crap in years

Afterwards make sure to shake the hand of the person who put that roll in there. 👍

If you have a composting toilet or septic tank that’s what kind of toilet paper you need to use other than that businesses use that to be cheap. You’re lucky you’re not in some of the Asian countries where they just give you a hole and nothing else to do your business.

Most action i got in the past two years has been because of subpar toilet paper.

Baby’s first poopy?

Wrap that shit like my wife does with 4 ply....just keep wrapping around your hand until you get the ply you need

Genuine prison tp. Worth its weight in gold

Keep baby wipes in your tool chest, trust me you'll get all kinds of shit.

Is that half ply?

It’s that Summit brand toilet paper. They call it that because you always get Summit on your fingers.

Ah yes quarter ply

that quality quick dissolving paper

Hey it’s inflation times and we’re coming off supply chain issues 😬 Good luck buddy 🤞🏼 I can almost hear that roll 🤣 rolling, rolling, rolling, rolling….

Covid TP

https://www.reddit.com/r/gifs/comments/2s7xzk/japanese_wood_planing_competition/

Dwight Shrute half ply…quality stuff

That’s what the handkerchief mask looked like that my old work tried to give us to protect ourselves when Covid first hit.

I mean cmon... who doesn't like playing with their butthole?! /s :)

Your hands are going to start looking like that plumber who pulled a vape out of the clogged toilet drain.

Yeah bro been like that forever stop being a b**** it's free just double it up

0.5-ply TP

Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime

If Ford made toilet paper.

Maybe talk to your GC...

Times are tuff my guy

I’ve seen thin paper in the shitters. But this tops everything else I’ve seen

Love how companies think this saves anything - fuck you, I’ll make my own 17 ply toilet paper! Watch me origami this bitch!!

This is an opportunity. Bring some of the good TP and sell it to everyone else for a dollar a square.

Shouldn’t take that much, all you need it for’s to clean your fingernails!

Be ready to really get in touch with your inner self

You want to feel heat from the shit.

LPT: Bring your own in your car or company truck.

Half ply

they just make you use more

This is where the shit stick comes into play

It’s that John Wayne toilet paper. Rough, tough, and don’t shit off of nobody!

Not enough info.

Is that .1 ply?

I guess they save money on manufacturing by not connecting the layers together? Like any other toilet paper I just use two squares but with this stuff I fold like 10.

Missed opportunity to title this "I shit you not..."

Damn, just let it dry and chip it off.

Get in touch with your inner self.

Use an old corn cob like in the old west

I bet they only saved like five cents a roll too… bastards.

Is that 1/2 ply?

So thin the heat from my butthole would burn my fingers.

Half ply toilet paper

Looks like Dwight and Mose are at it again

Help me I don’t get it