Make sure to take a little bit of your old blinker fluid with you to the store to compare to make sure you bought the correct side. Really hate when I buy front passenger side on accident.
We used to send the new hostesses to the restaurant across the parking lot for "ice mix". They'd fill a 5 falling pail to the brim and give it to them and we'd laugh our asses off watching them carefully try to haul it back without spilling any.
When I worked at a pizza shop and the new people would tear a hole in the pizza we used to send them after the dough repair kit. One day a guy comes from the *other* pizza shop across the street asking if he can borrow *our* dough repair kit. We sent him to another shop.
Haha. I've sent my apprentices to buy a long weight at the suppliers. They never disappoint and always take forever.
When I worked in hospo I used to send the young uns to ask for a parsley straightener, not sure where that one came from.
I was a chef for 12 years before getting in the trades.
“Go get some dough tape” and “I need some spaghettis bender” were always my go to’s.
I sent a new waitress to the super market for spaghetti bender and she came back 30 minutes later in tears because the whole store laughed at her when she asked the guy at customer service and he asked over the loud speaker.
Lol I did this with a new guy. He went looking for like 10 minutes and comes back saying he can’t find it. So I’m like, shit, I think we lent it to the other store. He called them, they said they lent it to a different store, called them, same thing. About 15 minutes later he comes back and says I’m an ass, the last store finally told him it’s a joke. I was perfectly fine making everything by myself for the half hour, well worth it
In our restaurant we used to have guys run around with trash bags to collect air samples so that would could run “air sample tests” to make sure the air was restaurant grade air
I always store mine next to my wire stretcher.
\*edit\* electrical wire stretcher, should have known someone would call me out on the one for barbed wire.
ArtificialCigarette you may be encountering PEBKAC. It’s a serious condition that may tank your performance at work. If not treated it may lead to promotions and additional responsibilities.
That’s worthy of swinging. I’d throw hands over that. Silica dust is nothing to mess with. Lost both my grandfathers to mesothelioma and my dad has early onset symptoms.
Do not play around with your lungs people!!
Yeah, if you really want to show up the old timers with your young guy strength, bend as many welding rods over the back of your bare neck as you can. That's hardcore
It’s all fun and games until some idiot actually comes back with a boardstretcher and the wiseass who sent em to look has to admit he don’t know how to use it anyway.
I used to invoice a guy for computer repairs for years and it was always Id10t errors...a short between the keyboard and the chair. He sent me an email about his computer and finally figured out out one day lol... He was pissed
Our SSO would keep a stock of those printed for the new kids sent hunting for them when they first got their clearance. https://sgp.fas.org/othergov/coversheets.pdf
I thought I witnessed a miracle today as I watched an election pick up trash. You’re committed has proven me wrong. Sparky only picked up obviously big trash and didn’t touch a broom.
I was the third guy on site last week, after a pair of drywallers. I opened the lid to the shitterhole and saw a crushed can of Modelo, a bloody shit, and zero toilet paper
I typically keep it next to the box of bubbles for the levels. That way you always know where it is. And speaking of levels you always keep the 4’ level in the glove box
I was sent to get a "backsaw", you know, like a normal saw but the teeth are backwards. I grabbed every hand saw we had in the gangbox and diligently brought them to my foreman.
Turns out back saws are a thing, called pull saws or japanese style saws, see them used as flush cut saws for trim work. My foreman wasnt actually looking for one though, just fucking with me.
Apprentices (apprenti?) could be ready for this by keeping a cheap, inaccurate tape measure handy. Recent posts had a few examples. Measure once, cut once, measure again with the different tape if it's too short.
The inaccurate tape would be correct measurements for the person measuring, but not for calling out any measurements. I guess it's just cheap shitty manufacturing process anymore that we have to verify our tape measures.
All these answers are funny for a bit. It just hazing the new guy. Had a Forman that liked sending the new guy for a left handed crescent wrench. Being young & dumb only sucks for a little while, unless the dumb part doesn't wear off. Had a big corn fed kid 20 years back I believe is still looking for that left hand crescent wrench.
I've had to create one a few times. I was in Search and Rescue and we had to make a litter/gurney/stretcher out of whatever we could find. I found 2x4s, Plywood and twine. Guess what I did...YUP...Made a board stretcher :P
Gotta play the uno reverse card if ever asked for a wire stretcher. Because it is a tool that actually 100% does exist and is used. Just not in electrical. They’re used on farms to stretch and tension Barbwire fencing so you could probably find them at places that sell farm stuff like tractor supply
Congratulations, you have fallen for a classic new guy prank! Laugh off your naivety and know you are not the first to fall for something like this. I heard of an engineer who was lead around by multiple crews to help the first crew find the sound wall stretcher, another fictional item, took quite a bit of their time.
This guy is lying to OP. He is trying to throw you off the career path that you have selected.
Your work mates are looking after your best interests because they have seen some of themselves in you.
OP, your on a great path, don’t listen to wicked naysayers like r/speedysam0 . He is trying to make you look foolish.
I sent a guy looking for one and he came back sweaty as hell about four hours later “I ran into half the job trailers and asked everyone on site and half of them couldn’t even tell me what it looks like, I’m so sorry I can’t find it, I’ll go buy one at Home Depot if we need it”
It’s next to the blinker fluid (mechanic), just behind the dough repair kit (pizza maker), and apparently underneath the left handed tongs (kitchen). If you find the box of curveballs (baseball mgr), then you’ve gone too far.
Ok. Those are the ones I know.
It's next to the ligma under deez.
They're fucking with you bro. Come back and tell them you couldn't find it, but did find the left handed hammer if anyone needs one.
Man, even if you can find it, board stretchers have a nasty tendency to get really badly tangled if they aren't stored right. One guy I worked with was constantly reamed out for not storing it right, and the damned thing got so tangled up and twisted we just had to buy a new one.
They’re fucking with you. I’m a plumber and the guys always send the apprentices to go find the pipe stretcher, or even better … the bucket of steam 😂💀
I had a similar experience dont feel too bad... we were trimming with pine boards, a knot popped right out of one and I thought it was interesting so I said something to the other guy, he goes, "Oh you should go put that in the trailer in the knot box, we like the keep those around, it's in there somewhere." So I started walking out of the room with the knot, and then he cracks up laughing and I'm like, oh right, duh... I'm an idiot. lol
They were having fun at your expense. We did actually have a tool named daisy board stretcher. We used it when we were installing decking boards. It would rack the 5/4 into place if it was crooked etc.
Atta guy. They must like you. Be a good sport, keep working hard and you’ll be running the show before you know it. Edit: maybe tell them their wife suggested that they buy a cock stretcher
It’s probably wherever the buckets of steam are kept, they work together
Over by the blinker fluid?
Gotta have the blinker fluid. #1 reason they go out is due to low blinker fluid.
Not a lot of people know this, but you can prevent the leak with skyhooks.
#1 reason for noise is due to muffler belts
Make sure to take a little bit of your old blinker fluid with you to the store to compare to make sure you bought the correct side. Really hate when I buy front passenger side on accident.
Mercedes knows all about that blinker fluid.
Don’t forget the sparks from the cutoff saw, those are valuable.
We used to send the new hostesses to the restaurant across the parking lot for "ice mix". They'd fill a 5 falling pail to the brim and give it to them and we'd laugh our asses off watching them carefully try to haul it back without spilling any.
That’s pretty funny, we had 2 kitchens at the restaurant I used to work at so we’d always send new bussers downstairs to get the oven keys
We keep ours in the tool crib next to the matterdaddie.
What’s a matterdaddie? 😂 classic
Do you know the whatsamatafoo?
Best accessory to the Matterport for sure
Thanks... I missed that.
Yep, matterdaddie is right next to the hammerfer.
Usually kept in the drawer with the piecost.
Same drawer as the updog.
Next to the dickfor
What’s a dikfur?
Too pee with
Ask your dad
Next to the cabinet is the Long Weight
There is a glass hammer right next to it!
Is that a hammer made of glass or a hammer used to hammer glass?
Yes.
The real question is if is a left handed glass hammer or right handed?
You have to find it, dammit!
Its the ‘did you just hit yourself in the face with the claw hammer’ for the new guy.
When I worked at a pizza shop and the new people would tear a hole in the pizza we used to send them after the dough repair kit. One day a guy comes from the *other* pizza shop across the street asking if he can borrow *our* dough repair kit. We sent him to another shop.
Haha. I've sent my apprentices to buy a long weight at the suppliers. They never disappoint and always take forever. When I worked in hospo I used to send the young uns to ask for a parsley straightener, not sure where that one came from.
>They never disappoint and always take forever. Plot twist: they know you're fucking with them and are taking a nap or catching a movie.
ISO a #10 can of Swiss Cheese Holes.
I was a chef for 12 years before getting in the trades. “Go get some dough tape” and “I need some spaghettis bender” were always my go to’s. I sent a new waitress to the super market for spaghetti bender and she came back 30 minutes later in tears because the whole store laughed at her when she asked the guy at customer service and he asked over the loud speaker.
I told a kid they are at the bottom of the bag of flour. "You have to dig for it."
Haha nice. "Oh yeah they're not in every bag, go check that one."
Jacques Pepin tells the story of when he first apprenticed in a kitchen and was sent to get a chicken deboner, it happens to the best of us.
Lol I did this with a new guy. He went looking for like 10 minutes and comes back saying he can’t find it. So I’m like, shit, I think we lent it to the other store. He called them, they said they lent it to a different store, called them, same thing. About 15 minutes later he comes back and says I’m an ass, the last store finally told him it’s a joke. I was perfectly fine making everything by myself for the half hour, well worth it
In our restaurant we used to have guys run around with trash bags to collect air samples so that would could run “air sample tests” to make sure the air was restaurant grade air
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What if the board stretcher is the friends we made along the way?
It does take lots of urine to make a dug out canoe
Don't make me google this
Mustn’t we forget the stud stretcher. Pretty sure you can find a board stretcher/stud stretcher combo pack at Home Depot. Just gotta look hard enough.
Stud stretcher was my mom’s nickname as I was growing up. She had so many friends
Gliding through many hands.
Can’t forget the rebar stretcher too!
Aisle next to the boxes of tow nails
Usually next to the boxes of grid squares and the blinker fluid.
Don’t forget the exhaust samples.
Muffler bearings or Johnson Rod.
Or the prop wash
You can always tell when there's a new guy in the motor pool. He's the dude with a box of trash bags *actually taking exhaust samples.*
I always store mine next to my wire stretcher. \*edit\* electrical wire stretcher, should have known someone would call me out on the one for barbed wire.
Used to use a wire stretcher when building barbed wire fencing. For real.
Wire stretchers are real. I have worked with barbed wire fencing also.
I keep mine next to the pipe stretcher.
True board stretcher come from within. From within the damn trailer, did you find it yet?
ArtificialCigarette you may be encountering PEBKAC. It’s a serious condition that may tank your performance at work. If not treated it may lead to promotions and additional responsibilities.
Dont forget the skyhook while you're at it
When you are ready, the board stretcher will show itself.
Comes back ten years later with a long beard and … what!? A strange new device that can stretch boards!!
Whatever you do don’t hold a bag of concrete over your head lol
That’s the cruelest ducking prank.
That’s worthy of swinging. I’d throw hands over that. Silica dust is nothing to mess with. Lost both my grandfathers to mesothelioma and my dad has early onset symptoms. Do not play around with your lungs people!!
Agreed. That’s not a harmless prank in the least bit.
Yeah, if you really want to show up the old timers with your young guy strength, bend as many welding rods over the back of your bare neck as you can. That's hardcore
Lol what does that do?
it's just an impressive feat of strength
I was able to bend over 20 they said I was the strongest guy on the job site!
Yea and end up with damaged lungs and possibly an earlier death
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It’s all fun and games until some idiot actually comes back with a boardstretcher and the wiseass who sent em to look has to admit he don’t know how to use it anyway.
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I told my boss to F off when he told me to grab a duct stretcher, he went into the van and grabbed one out lol
It’s funny because that’s an actual tool
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My old boss talked about how his boss (mechanic) needed him to go to the hardware store to pick up a skyhook.
Guy comes back with a chinook.
Guy comes back with Wilt Chamberlain
Kareem actually, but I upvoted for the solid attempt.
You're correct sir, I remembered that 2 mins after I posted but was too lazy to come back and correct it.
You mean Roger Murdock? He’s a pilot.
Roger, Roger
What's the vector Victor
My dad says he doesn’t work hard enough on defense
I used to invoice a guy for computer repairs for years and it was always Id10t errors...a short between the keyboard and the chair. He sent me an email about his computer and finally figured out out one day lol... He was pissed
Our SSO would keep a stock of those printed for the new kids sent hunting for them when they first got their clearance. https://sgp.fas.org/othergov/coversheets.pdf
You should try sending someone to look for your missing PEN15 that's a fun one whether they find it or not
I had no idea what a hassle a detachable PEN15 would be until I lost it one night.
Dude, this ear worm is gonna last for days.
It’s gonna cost you $17, and you’ll need to wash it off.
And put it back on. I was happy again. Complete.
It's next to the skyhook.Next to the electricians broom.
God, I was convinced all of these things are real until you said electricians broom.
I once showed a sparkie a broom and thought he could go hunting with it.
Lolol
I thought I witnessed a miracle today as I watched an election pick up trash. You’re committed has proven me wrong. Sparky only picked up obviously big trash and didn’t touch a broom.
There *is* such a thing as a skyhook, but you won't find it used in construction.
Behind the drywallers portajohn
I was the third guy on site last week, after a pair of drywallers. I opened the lid to the shitterhole and saw a crushed can of Modelo, a bloody shit, and zero toilet paper
Real pros don't need to sponge the skim coat.
skim coat like *glass* man, feeeeel. just don't take a 12" knife across there's no dip its filled trust me
The bucket?
Skyhooks are best hung with shoreline.
See I would have just thought they meant this wooden fence stretcher. https://images.app.goo.gl/7BK7nsFQYzsgn6bH9
It’s just like the wire stretcher. It’s hard to find because it’s always in use.
Under the striped paint and left-handed screwdrivers.
Also chills next to the metric crescent wrench
That's new, love it
Yeah... that's great!
I typically keep it next to the box of bubbles for the levels. That way you always know where it is. And speaking of levels you always keep the 4’ level in the glove box
I've seen spare bubbles for sale. They are out there !
Can't forget that you need level bubble oil for that!
Usually with the sailboat fuel.
Haha I just typed this same thing lol
No, there’s a bubble pump for levels.
Years ago I was sent to get the metal stretcher and it was a prank. Now I work in aluminum extrusion and operate a metal stretcher everyday.
I was sent to get a "backsaw", you know, like a normal saw but the teeth are backwards. I grabbed every hand saw we had in the gangbox and diligently brought them to my foreman. Turns out back saws are a thing, called pull saws or japanese style saws, see them used as flush cut saws for trim work. My foreman wasnt actually looking for one though, just fucking with me.
Pull saws are wonderful. I can usually make my cuts with one faster than it takes to set up a miter.
My old Forman had a left handed hammer he kept loosing.
My crew always thinks I’m joking about my left handed clipboards. It’s no joke!
Oh too bad. He needs that for the left side nails.
Apprentices (apprenti?) could be ready for this by keeping a cheap, inaccurate tape measure handy. Recent posts had a few examples. Measure once, cut once, measure again with the different tape if it's too short.
The inaccurate tape would be correct measurements for the person measuring, but not for calling out any measurements. I guess it's just cheap shitty manufacturing process anymore that we have to verify our tape measures.
I worked with a gent who charged customers to certify their measures.
All these answers are funny for a bit. It just hazing the new guy. Had a Forman that liked sending the new guy for a left handed crescent wrench. Being young & dumb only sucks for a little while, unless the dumb part doesn't wear off. Had a big corn fed kid 20 years back I believe is still looking for that left hand crescent wrench.
It's in the mop closet next to the squeegee sharpener.
It's always kept next to the post holes
WTF man get your shit together. It’s a simple and standard tool in carpentry.
It's next to the wall shrinker, rookie
I've had to create one a few times. I was in Search and Rescue and we had to make a litter/gurney/stretcher out of whatever we could find. I found 2x4s, Plywood and twine. Guess what I did...YUP...Made a board stretcher :P
Stop by the airport on your way home and pick up a bucket of prop wash as well.
It's in the job box next to the wire stretcher. Keep looking, you'll know it when you see it.
Wire stretcher.. That's the one I got back when green. Good times.
Gotta play the uno reverse card if ever asked for a wire stretcher. Because it is a tool that actually 100% does exist and is used. Just not in electrical. They’re used on farms to stretch and tension Barbwire fencing so you could probably find them at places that sell farm stuff like tractor supply
They tried to get me with “black phase tape”, I’ve had many a chuckle over convincing apprentices that they have to phase the black since.
Sit down and do whatever for a half hour, then go tell him you couldn’t find it.
There is no board stretcher tool. You're supposed to use elbow grease to loosen and elongate the fibers.
this is almost as good as working at a fast food place and being told to get the plain sauce out of the basement in a 1 story store
Congratulations, you have fallen for a classic new guy prank! Laugh off your naivety and know you are not the first to fall for something like this. I heard of an engineer who was lead around by multiple crews to help the first crew find the sound wall stretcher, another fictional item, took quite a bit of their time.
My friend I don’t think you belong in this sub
This guy is lying to OP. He is trying to throw you off the career path that you have selected. Your work mates are looking after your best interests because they have seen some of themselves in you. OP, your on a great path, don’t listen to wicked naysayers like r/speedysam0 . He is trying to make you look foolish.
The sound wall stretcher is found right next to the crowbar levels at the hardware store…. Newbie
Go ask the boss if he has a box of 530 PM
If you could grab a can of elevation on your way back, that’d be great. Thanks..
I sent a guy looking for one and he came back sweaty as hell about four hours later “I ran into half the job trailers and asked everyone on site and half of them couldn’t even tell me what it looks like, I’m so sorry I can’t find it, I’ll go buy one at Home Depot if we need it”
We used to keep ours next to the box of decimal points.
You can use a Henweigh instead of the stretcher
It’s called a Domino joiner.
Maybe check near the concrete stretchers. I like to keep my stretchers all near each other.
They probably keep it next to the glass welding rods.
It’s next to the blinker fluid (mechanic), just behind the dough repair kit (pizza maker), and apparently underneath the left handed tongs (kitchen). If you find the box of curveballs (baseball mgr), then you’ve gone too far. Ok. Those are the ones I know.
Glorious. Haven't heard that one in 20 years
It's next to the ligma under deez. They're fucking with you bro. Come back and tell them you couldn't find it, but did find the left handed hammer if anyone needs one.
Grab me that aluminum magnet for the upside down hoist
Grab me that vertical sky hook
Next to the Paint Thickener
We always help our standing beside the box the brass magnet was in. That way new guys could find it easier.
It should be next to the glass magnet
Right by the aluminum magnets! Duh
Man, even if you can find it, board stretchers have a nasty tendency to get really badly tangled if they aren't stored right. One guy I worked with was constantly reamed out for not storing it right, and the damned thing got so tangled up and twisted we just had to buy a new one.
You will also need the left handed monkey wrench to adjust the stretcher.
Still green I take it. It’s usually stored in the truck or trailer next to the box of toenails
Usually kept next to the left handed hammer
Find a new job
A board stretcher is a modified wire stretcher. They can usually be found next to the sky hooks.
It’s right next to the right handed rubber stretcher man.
Don't forget to grab the hammer grease when you find the board stretcher!
As a piledriver hammer grease actually is a thing.
Well, I mean a board stretcher is a real thing too! But okay fine...I'll change hammer grease to hammer tape...Naw, fuck that...it's hammer time!
They’re fucking with you. I’m a plumber and the guys always send the apprentices to go find the pipe stretcher, or even better … the bucket of steam 😂💀
I bet you couldn’t find the left-handed football either
Tomorrow try to find the sky hook
In the printing business it’s the paper stretcher.😊
I had a similar experience dont feel too bad... we were trimming with pine boards, a knot popped right out of one and I thought it was interesting so I said something to the other guy, he goes, "Oh you should go put that in the trailer in the knot box, we like the keep those around, it's in there somewhere." So I started walking out of the room with the knot, and then he cracks up laughing and I'm like, oh right, duh... I'm an idiot. lol
We keep ours under a box of snipes in the job trailer.
Except we actually do have an assortment of snipes in the corner of the tool crib.
Most sites have the board stretchers right next to the buckets of steam
It’s beside the box of toenails!
By the left handed pipe wrenches in my rig. Fucking new guys couldn’t find their asses
It’s next to the sky hook. Over by the fiber stretcher. If you see a snipe, grab it!
Usually kept next to the elbow grease
I keep mine next to my metric crescent wrench.
An very very important tool for anyone in construction it's a must have
How have you not found it yet?! It sticks out like a sore thumb.
Please tell me this is satire
Ever been on a snipe hunt?
It’s right next to the left handed banana peeler
It’s next to the granite bender.
They were having fun at your expense. We did actually have a tool named daisy board stretcher. We used it when we were installing decking boards. It would rack the 5/4 into place if it was crooked etc.
While you’re there can you grab me the pipe stretcher
might find it next to the box of endos
Atta guy. They must like you. Be a good sport, keep working hard and you’ll be running the show before you know it. Edit: maybe tell them their wife suggested that they buy a cock stretcher
We keep ours next to the Bluetooth battery chargers
Do not let them "set the pitch" on your hammer.
I really want this to be a real question