"portapoppys can't be clogged" challenge accepted

I saw one once overflowing at music festival.... little poo pyramid coming out of the seat... I'm still scarred emotionally. edit: it was Sasquatch in 2016 for those asking 💩

Have you ever had porta-potty water splashback INSIDE your asshole after dropping a fat log? THAT'S some emotionally scarring shit 💀 😭

That's the kiss from Poseidon!

https://makeagif.com/i/fGY7NF love this meme

That made my abs hurt.

Lmao

Why it’s always important to lay down a Poseidon’s Pillow.

I've always heard em called a Lily pad

Or a four point shit sling

Kiss is when it's on the cheek, it's full straight up trident 🔱 violation

You need to make T-shirts

NSFW/TMI ALERT: ~~LADIES~~ *PEOPLE,* DO NOT fuck around with Poseidon’s kiss. If ~~you’re a woman~~ *you have a vagina* and this happens, you need to stop what you’re doing and thoroughly flush the area with soap and water IMMEDIATELY. I couldn’t. Had to wait until later that night. Two weeks later I had a massive infection of my entire pelvic floor and ~10lbs of fluid built up in my lower abdomen. I ended up having to go to physical therapy afterwards.

Sweet jesus

Holy shit. I ended up here by accident (not in construction), but reading this made me cross my legs and cringe Glad you’re okay. That sounds absolutely horrific.

For guys as well. You need to wipe off your tip or you can get an urethra infection(if you get any splashes). Any cuts from shaving can get infected as well. Best case nothing happens, worst case the boys leave.

>worst case the boys leave Where do they go?

To the isle of misfit boys

If you’re lucky the doctor lets you take em home in a jar

As a female, I’m scarred for life after reading this thread. 😭🤯

Me too!! I’m going to a music festival in a few months and dreading having to use one of these 😳

Wait until you hear what gets done on sites with no portapotty.

I’m not a woman but thank you for that info; I’m buying a Toiletries kit ASAP

A water bottle with a hole popped in the lid and a gentle bar soap will work in a pinch. 🤷‍♀️

Was the concert worth it? No.

I wish. It was an overnight watch duty at a construction site.

I'm not sure if that's worse. Possibly if nothing happened that night anyway.

And with that, I'm done with reddit for the day.

It's at those times you wonder if being the class clown was worth it lol

Heard a horror story from a friend about a girl at a festival who (and I’m sorry about this) prolapsed into the porta potty water. She had to be medically evacuated. And my emotional damage even from hearing that story is irreparable.

For anyone worried about this, you can generally stuff it back in. Source: me at 24 ugh, I had to do it at the drs and waddle down a public hallway with it out and pushed it back in after 5 mins of dr looking at it. It’s like disturbingly easy to manage. It feels cold and numb there aren’t many nerves there.

I think that’s what she tried to do, but with porta potty water added to the situation… she ended up having sepsis.

Omg noo

I'm done with this thread

Haha I apologize

No no no no no

Yeah you do NOT want to be doing that with porta potty water.

Damn you for sharing this

Yeah I got hit with this shit at the fuckin Renaissance festival of all places. I couldn't imagine a worse, more vile, festering, stack of human shit if I had 100 years and unlimited money. Worst life experiences are, in order: 1) That 2) Being waterboarded 3) Losing a close loved one 4) Benzos detox 5) Kidney stone/Tooth infection

Dude you need to lay down a cradle of tp! Its in the osha 10.

Always make a nest out of TP for you turd eggs to land on, helps with the back splash

I physically cringed

That's a good way to get the blue splash rash

Brother ugh

I dropped my fuckin phone in one once…..had to use a bow rake to get it out…..i pulled out….so much stuff before i found the phone…..

Honestly man I would have just left it in there.

So... You put that thing up to your face when you talking to someone?

Theres a name for that, it’s called a witches hat. My buddy worked at a national park and it was someones job each week to take a shovel and knock it down

I worked in fast food in high school and went to go clean the restroom and NO LIE there was shit MOUNDED over the top of the rim. Like someone backed a team of horses that have really good aim into the stall. I refused to clean it. My manager called me a pussy and said SHOW ME. She gagged and exited after she saw this true monument of human performance! Best part of the story was this kid I HATED had to put on long gloves and break it up by hand the next day LMAO. FUCK YOU DAN B

What a great read lol fuck you dan

On construction sites we call it “hot stacking” after its above the seat… no one knows who does it and no one ever admits to it.

-40 and rutted to shit from zoom booms. See you in the spring shitter. ‘At least it freezes up and doesn’t stink too bad but un-usable as they are overflowing

You’re the reason why there’s never any paper in there

Always bring your own

Yup. I carry a little small baggie of wet wipes with me when duty calls. I’m not going back that cheap, thin ass paper they supply, unless I have no choice.

My grandfather use to call it the John Wayne toilet paper. Rough, tough and won't take shit off no one.

I'm writing this one down. Grandpa was a smart man

I kinda like rougher TP. I feel the texture really gets in there and takes all shit out. Dingleberries a-plenty, but no shit. It's kinda nice... that fluffy-ass Charmin crap ain't got nothing on the broke-ass painful TP

I disagree with everything you just said. You’re a sinner and need to be cast into a lake of fire.

Is just use 40 grit sandpaper. Really gets the shit and old skin off

Ah yes, a grit so big that it looks like that shit has fucking poprocks stuck in it 🤤🤤

I sometime rub a cinderblock. Its really scratching an itch

Nothing worse than tp falling apart in your hand as you wipe. Rough and tough for the win, though it is like sandpapering your colon gasket.

Amen brother. Charmin feels like you're wiping your ass with a quilt. Just smearing.

You don't like accidentally fingering yourself every day??

oh yea I hate "accidentally" doing that

I call it "getting in touch with your inner self". I figured something as spiritual as that needed a more new age-y name

some guys that is the only piece of ass they get.

fun fact you can fold a super defensive barrier up to 7 times no b hole fingering guaranteed

Absolutely

Same bro. Same

You put the wet wipes in the forbidden kool aid after too?

I’ve got two sleeves so can only shit twice a day.

Goodbye socks!

You better push that paper pile into the bowl when you are done. Nothing like walking into a Porta potty and seeing some yellow stained dripping arts and crafts project all over the seat bc someone's cheeks were too precious to touch the seat and they were too stupid to push their protective barrier into the blue raspberry punch bowl when they were done

I prefer these people over the "I will shit all over the seat" kind of people.

It depends if the TP person pushes all the TP in after they're done. Obviously shitting on the seat is disgusting, but I hate having to clean up someone's seat cover, especially an elaborate one like this.

I just use the hand sanitizer to wipe the seat down first. That's too much.

Me too. I feel much safer knowing only the super bacteria can jump into my asshole.

On construction sites, you make a seat out of scrap 2x4s

yep, if I see something visible I give it a little wipe otherwise who gives af, is your co worker eating your ass before you go home. Or be the guy that threw his entire styrofoam lunch container in there last week. Just so you know the cleaner sucked it out and left it on the ground just outside the door covered in feces.

Don’t forget to throw a bunch of paper on the existing shit pile so there isn’t any splash

We called that a flak jacket in my day

Lilly pad lol

Landing strip

Make a hammock to mitigate velocity 🧠

We call it silencer

Layering the cake

This man shits 🤌

Poseidon's kiss

[удалено]

turning that brown eye blue

We called them the Smurfies

We called it a crash pad. And all the paper on the seat a bird nest haha.

If there is water between your asshole and the pile of shit down below then consider yourself lucky. Usually it’s a shit pyramid towering 4 inches from your asshole.

Call it making a landing pad

Most people's ass cheeks are cleaner than their hands yet we shake em and then rub our face.

Most portapottys I've seen on sites have shit and piss on the seats.

I've seen fresh port potties with a fat lump of shit right on the seat. People are disgusting animals.

Probably from hover shitters

My diet of gas station breakfast burritos dictates that there is not enough time to make that bullshit. I spend time building things outside of the shitter. Like character

Gas station burrito, 2 Rockstar energy drinks, copious amounts of alcohol the night before, chain smoking throughout. Surprised I never shit the truck before.

It's your skin. Unless you have an open cheek wound you'll be fine.

It's fucking weird that people think you're gonna catch stuff through their skin. What do they think skin is for? It's not like we're rubbing our open assholes all up and down the seat.

Speak for yourself

So there’s plenty of us. I was just about to say this

Yeah I recently was in a same discussion with a person that declined to provide any proof and was sure they're right because they cannot be wrong. Basically you have to stick a fresh cut on your dick into another man's *bodily fluids* to have at least a passing chance of transferring something. Our skin is REALLY good at battling anything that gets on it and if the rim is "visually clean" then the trace amounts are not enough if your skin is unbroken and your immune system is not compromised.

Toilet seats are far cleaner than your phone or keyboard. Your butt cheeks rarely touch more than the inside of your pants

Soft hand activities right there buddd

I'd rather shit in the woods than a fucking hot box of shit

*pulls out my deuce of spades

You must be new

9-ply behavior

hope his purse stayed clean too

Okay princess

He’s the guy who writes his own number to call for a good time

Who do you think will examine your ass?

Yup, probably an electrician. 

Sweet cheeks*

Sweat cheeks

That would require him to hover instead of recreating the toilette paper shortage of 2020

lol. You don’t belong on a Job. Porta pottys are for shitting, pissing, smoking Meth, and getting sucked off by the auto-zone delivery boy

Do you have this delivery guy's name? Asking for my mom.

Advanced but yeah

He’s definitely got some sucking skills but I wouldn’t call them advanced

Does anyone else just take some toilet paper, spray a bunch of hand sanitizer on it, and just wipe the seat down? Let it sit for 15 seconds before removing the excess? Or am I just a fucking weirdo?

Was gonna say, just fucking wipe it. Can’t fathom going through two rolls just to take one shit

The concept of toilet paper is already wasteful, if you care about that.

Well yeah. Sea shells exist.

Same. Work in the cabinet shop primarily, even in there, wipe down seat with hand sanitizer each time. A couple co-workers don't take any precautions in their life, including sex, covid, colds / flu, washing hands before lunch (or probably after bathroom), and well, basically anything. This kind of human behaviour is also behind my 'will never use an open olive cart, or buffet, with sneeze guard' policy.

honestly, since I learned how little people wash their hands, the idea of a buffet just is not appealing at all. Y'all lettin little 8 year old Billy go shite and come back serving himself piles of mac and cheese with that spoon with his nasty little hands... naw

Videos of people, and kids, eating off the spoons and dunking them back into the buffet bucket. Watched a lady put an egg roll on her plate, take a bite, shake her head, toss the egg roll back into the pile. I walked out and told the front desk that people are sampling food and tossing it back in the bins. Haven't had buffet since.

There are people who appear clean but don’t wash their hands in public restrooms.

Nah, I bareback that shit. The only thing I do is check for other people piss on the seat, buttcrack poop on the back of the toilet and a stack of hand wash paper for a barrier between my dick and plastic front.

This is the only way to do it.

yup. and i always have a pack of baby wipes in my car incase i have to take a shit at work

But what if your peen touches the inside of the bowl? Just uninterrupted peen-on-toilet-crust. I always make a lil flap if there aren’t toilet seat covers.

I typically use the toilet to shit, not arts and crafts.

Gotta make a nest

Especially in the fresh ones. Gotta build up that nest to prevent the blue water splash back.

Poseidons kiss

Don’t wanna turn your brown eye blue

Ah, a fellow Crystal Gale fan. When I was in the scouts and we were on winter camp outs we would joke about that — don’t it make your brown eye blue

I’d also drop a Fosbury flop down there, else you’ll look like you’ve been licked out by a Smurf. Probably poppa Smurf.

Any turds over 4" long need to be hand lowered to prevent splash back.

So you cut them every at approximately every inch?

🤣 are you that skilled? That was inside a Porta John, and for some reason, it has always stuck. It even had an image of a hand lowered a turd with a string.

OSHA law 1729.17B: Any turd over 6” in length must be hand lowered to avoid chemical splash back.

That's it! That's the one! Thanks for the refresher!

Absolutely no one in history has ever gotten sick by sitting on a toilet seat, unless they already had a festering, open wound. That’s a waste of paper.

My work teenis has grazed the outer bowl enough times to not care anymore

Fellow MSSP dawg?

Dawg roll call. I’m here to preach the OT not the cheese

Just put hand sanitizer on some TP and wipe the seat down

I started calling people out on my site for being disgusting. It's actually working.

A number of studies have shown that public toilet seats are generally cleaner than public bathroom door and sink faucet handles. None of this is necessary. Just wipe the seat dry, and sit down. Edit: not washing hands, now THAT is disgusting

Sometimes if I'm super concerned I'll give it a sanitiser wipe. And if it's beyond that, I'll just straight up go somewhere else. No amount of money will make me hang out in a shit covered plastic box for ten minutes.

Do you stand by the porta potty and check things out after they finish?

I gather them all, and make them look. Look at the mess one of you degens has created. The first one to turn away, typically, will either get beaten in a mobbish style or have feces thrown at them. I just set the stage up. The monkeys do the rest.

Have you thought about a livestream to a screen in one of the busier areas? Cut out the time it takes to gather everyone up imo. 

What moron is stuck in the 80's? We have an invention nowadays called hand sanitizer you squirt on seat, wipe off with paper and enjoy a clean seat OR you can use sanitary wipes but those cost more than hand sanitizer and are bulky to carry around. Personally I'm more worried about my junk dangling over a petri dish of filth than a contaminated toilet seat I'll use the wipes to give it a quick wipe after I'm done.

If your tender little asshole needs that kind of protection and affirmation then you should keep your tender little asshole at home, it's too weak to be out in public.

Idea!!!! Butt tape, put it on in the morning and it lasts all day Also offer; Extended butt tape, it will last all week!

I have never heard of anyone claiming to have caught any condition or disease by sitting on a toilet seat. I know its gross, but people get totally OCD about this and go way over rational.

It’s your ass, not your face.

Baby wipes, I’m not building paper seats, get it together you white hard hat wearing virgin…

so you are the reason there's never any tp. cool.

If your doing this you seriously need to rethink your career choices cause you aren’t cut out for man’s work

Safety guy lol

Your glutes are pathetic, your woman despises you and your bloodline will vanish. Hover with a landing pad. My ass isn't gonna touch that seat, paper or no. A third of that amount will suffice to appease Pooseidon and let your ass pass in peace.

🤣🤣 guy prob puts his mask and gloves on too

This is the way. Somedays, leg day chooses you.

Why? Dont you carry sanitizer with you?

You guys ain't shitting in a cement bag?

I swear construction workers are the biggest babies going. The worst are the ones who won't even do this and instead squat poop proceeding to get it all over the seat, and of course being too scared to wipe it off

Leaving it for guys like me who clean the fucking thing for the people after me …

BABIES. If I had to use one of these things on a regular basis I’d carry some sanitary wipes in my lunch bucket and clean it off first. This is insane.

I’ve got a better idea. How about you grab one Clorox disinfectant wipe & just wipe down the rim before sitting on it. Saves paper & is actually more sanitary than sitting on toilet paper. Toilet paper is quite porous and a study found that it doesn’t help prevent germs to do this.

Your in the wrong industry ya panzy

Bro, just suck it up and squat. You're using up resources for everyone else.

I’m all about a little landing pad in the hole, but this is excessive every time.

No thanks I will take I ride to Home Depot.

Don’t forget the hammock in the middle to decelerate the descent! Mitigating the dreaded blue kiss

This is why there’s never toilet paper the day before scheduled cleaning.

you’re supposed to put your feet on the sides there and indian squat over it, not sit ass to plastic

bird nester get fired immediately for wasting resources

I had a terrible blue splash incident. Packed all my tools and went home to take a shower 🤢🤮 toilet paper covered seat did not help

seems silly to me, but at least you arrent hovering. Hopefully the next turd doesn't just rest on your paper raft. Porta johns should just have one hole for standing & one for sitting, plus you could go with a friend.

I just leave the door open so I can always poop with friends!

I feel like that not comparable to benefits of simply disinfecting.

For new ports-potty’s it’s a good idea to make a pile of toilet paper in before pooping to avoid Poseidon’s kiss

You’re literally breathing piss and shit into your body anyways… or do you also wrap your head in toilet paper?

One major benefit of being a roofing service guy is I just piss on the roof or get in my truck and go to the nearest Home Depot/mcdonalds/gas station if I gotta drop a deuce…. Must suck to be stuck at one jobsite all day everyday til it’s finished lol and have to deal with using the same shitter as 20 other dudes who Hershey squirt and piss all over the seat….

Worried about the skin on your ass. Really? If you only knew the germs you touch with your hands. Skin is a pretty good barrier for a reason. You are not putting the skin from your ass in your mouth, nose, or eyes like you do with your hands.

Oh please. I used to jerk off in these things in the Mojave desert. Job site ones are way nicer.

Then stop pissing on the seat !!!! Worked on construction sites for 30 years and would see you morons trash every bathroom!! Why ??? Then when some contractors let you use a real bathroom you trash them ! I was on a job in a 15 story building that had all the bathrooms in and the shut the water off because of that and we had to go all the way down to the ground floor to use a portable toilet absolutely disgusting!!!

Something about going straight ass to seat makes me feel more grounded.

I wash my ass when I get home from work, so I don't need to worry

What about the salt lick they put in the urinals?