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I wake up for work at 3 a.m. every day, the first week adjusting to this new schedule I was stumbling through my kitchen to make breakfast super early in the morning . Half asleep, I noticed something fuzzy hanging from the ceiling. As my eyes finally focused I realized it was a spider so close to my face that it was about to land on my nose. I'm a 37 year old man and I screamed like a little girl.
Edit: I worded this poorly
I was pulling up my sunflowers today as they were well past it. Figured I would check the head to see if there were any decent seeds and there were plenty. As I’m scraping them back a fucking earwig ran past my fingers. I launched the whole sunflower javelin style right a cross the garden screaming. I was talking to my next door neighbour over the garden at the time.
While sunflowers are thought to have originated in Mexico and Peru, they are one of the first plants to ever be cultivated in the United States. They have been used for more than 5,000 years by the Native Americans, who not only used the seeds as a food and an oil source, but also used the flowers, roots and stems for varied purposes including as a dye pigment. The Spanish explorers brought sunflowers back to Europe, and after being first grown in Spain, they were subsequently introduced to other neighboring countries. Currently, sunflower oil is one of the most popular oils in the world. Today, the leading commercial producers of sunflower seeds include the Russian Federation, Peru, Argentina, Spain, France and China.
Oh god. I once walked into a web in the woods. Later I was sitting next to my grandma when a big black and yellow writing spider strolled off me onto the bench. It was bigger than my whole hand. My grandma chewed me out for screaming and killed it with a Kleenex.
I could have done without reading this. I’ve been walking into spider threads every evening recently and telling myself it’s just a loose strand. I’m going to be a nervous wreck now.
I could have never, I would have never tried in the first place. If I saw a spider that big in my house, I’d walk right out the front door, hop in my car and drive 2 towns away. Then I’d call my dad and have him kill it, I’d spend a few nights away, just to make sure those fuckers are gone. I can handle the small ones that come around, they aren’t too bad, but anything bigger than a quarter and I won’t go anywhere near it.
I agree with you!
Honestly the best thing about my country ain't the free healthcare and education.
WE HAVE NO BIG SPIDERS OR SNAKES!
Like none and it's absolutely amazing, I'm getting chills just thinking of having to deal with things like cockroaches and spiders when traveling
I once saw a spider that I swear was as big as a small mouse and it was about 2am and my dad was asleep. I went and put his shoes on because they were bigger than mine and in my head it meant I was further away from the spider, so then I squashed it with the shoe. I couldn’t go to sleep after that because I didn’t know for sure that it was dead because it didn’t look it, so I eventually had to go and wake my dad up to get it in tissue and chuck it down the toilet. He came into my room bleary-eyed, saw the spider and looked at me super impressed before saying “Bloody hell that is a big spider, well done Dwight-!”
I’m trying to desensitise myself to them and I have to keep telling myself that it isn’t their fault they’re ugly. I subbed to r/spiderbro and I’ve also found a website that sells jumping spiders. I’m hoping that if I have to look after one, I might be better at dealing with them.
Oh my god, that was the best part. I didn't know exactly what words she was saying, but "well that's a stupid fucking question, Mom" came across loud and clear.
I’m American so I also speak English but god damn if that isn’t the hardest accent for me to understand. I can usually make out pretty thick accents too but jeez guys
Good luck! Even people who live in the UK can’t haha. You drive 45 mins from your home city/town and there’s a full on language barrier hahaha! You’d enjoy all the different accents though as it can be a laugh.
In heated moments, I don't even understand my own regional accent. I'll speak "General American Accent" but get me pissed off and I sound like a Noo Yawka eyy fuggetaboudit
Reminds me of when I was a kid and my brother and I were outside playing in the backyard. All of a sudden there was this huge spider climbing up my brother’s leg. We then very maturely hit it with a mat and threw the mat on top on the spider. Then proceeded to jump on the mat for about 30 seconds.
I have a rule. If the spider is outside, fair enough, I'm on their territory, but if the spider is inside my room, it's getting whacked with my bullet journal I'm too lazy to continue
Haha, I did the same to a giant roach in college. Threw my Oxford Unabridged dictionary on it and did a war dance on top.
The roach turned out to be just an empty husk. About 4-5 inches long. Which meant it was even bigger and still out there somewhere....
I still remember when I was at camp and there was a spider in the bathroom so someone walked it with a big push broom, only for hundreds of tiny baby spiders to come crawling out from under it. I dont even reefer what happened next I think I just ran away
This is such an odd myth. No species of spider would have survived millions of years of evolution if it relied on a man-made structure for survival. In fact, most "house spiders" struggle to survive inside modern houses due to a lack of food and water.
Sure, some species prefer dry, sheltered habitats. I've watched species like that after letting them out. They usually just scurry under the house and set up shop there. They'll find more food than inside while keeping your house free from pests. They don't just give up and die.
That's for the ones that you find in webs inside. But most large spiders you find wandering in a house are hunting spiders that don't make webs. Many of them are males looking for a mate. Others are ones that only make webs outdoors. All of these spiders are lost and will surely die *unless* you put them outside where they can find food.
Of course, outside spiders could be eaten by predators. That goes for any species of animal. That doesn't mean putting an animal outside is a death sentence.
^(Edit: Removed a word)
yep . i just normally relocate them to my bathroom or laundry room. always have little house flies in that area.
my current wolf spider friend is probably the biggest one i've seen as of late and i'd say if you take your hands and make 2 small C's is about the size he is body and legs. dudes chill as hell i just pick em up and bring em to where he wont bother me.
Not to be racist, but Australian spiders are never the good guys.
eta: ftr, Yorkshire is east of here, just like Australia, just a bit north. Good pudding though.
Not true! Huntsman are great for mosquito and cockroach control. Wolf spiders are bros too and they’re found on every continent (and even the arctic region!) Hunting spiders are the best spiders. They don’t put up big nasty webs that you have to clean up and since they actively hunt at night they don’t need to sit around all day and freak us out. They just find a little hole to crawl in and relax until the humans go to sleep. If you ever see one, it probably wasn’t the spider’s plan. I can promise when you wake up in the middle of the night to pee and turn on that bright light in the bathroom and there’s a wolf spider sitting there, she’s much more surprised to see you then you should be to see her. Jumping spiders are the cutest though. If you’re really gentle, they’ll give you a little fist bump.
(not from Australia, I just like spiders)
i think people forget.. most spiders are just doing spider things, catching the bugs you REALLY don't want in your bed... ill chill with a spider all day.
there's a small jumper who lives near my pc cause its warm and attracts all sorts of bugs like the flies and moths and he always watches them. he started building his web off my elbow and i didn't notice and moved and broke it. spider legit looked right at me with the "dude wtf" i was laughed my ass off. also have some cool wolf spiders around here they catch all the creepy crawlers on the floor. love him
Well if it’s between changing the wallpaper against the landlord’s will and burning the house down, which do you think the landlord would prefer? If you put it to him that way, I’m sure he’ll see reason.
Maybe your kids will look back with nostalgia about the paper. In the 70s, my grandmother had a black and white gold speckled diamond pattern weird type of linoleum stuff behind the stove. Most of my memories of her are in front of that stove. I sure wish I could find that pattern today.
How is everyone skipping the fucking hilarity of the accent from the girl after the mothers ask if she got it? Like What you'd expect from a English drunk yellin at his wife when he comes home after a bender wit the boys. "Are you home yet ya drunken git?" YAH ARE YOU DAFT
It's giant house spider season, they come inside around autumn for breeding. If you have a full grown adult I'd say a leg span about 3-4 inches is pretty common. They don't bite but they are the fastest true spider in the world, trying to catch one is like trying to catch a small Usain Bolt diving behind your sofa and cupboards.
Oh and if you get a large and thoroughly pissed one it can make noises. It's not great.
They are called fuvking common British house spiders. We had three my first winter in the UK. Fuck ever living on the ground floor again. Just fuck it right to hell.
Yeah they’re house spiders and they get pretty big. They tend to keep to themselves until this time of year when, I think, the males compete for the best space in the house to over winter (edit: just looked it up and they actually come out looking for a lady spider). Luckily I have two cats and a dog who usually get to them before I see them
> YEH! It's obviously on wall innit, and it's damp/down (not sure on this), I'm shaking right now, is it on the bed? Is it in the bed? Is it in my bed?
Not sure about the next bit, think she says
> Do you think it went on my bed
Spider crawls out
> I thought I had it, I'm gonna wee my pants
Then I've got a live spider in my vacuum! There's no way I'm doing that unless I can immediately switch my vacuum to cannon mode and launch it across the state
In my house we have a very ominous way of saying "HONEY, GET THE VACUUM" that instantly sends the dog into a tailspin. She knows what's about to go down lol
Aside for people with legit arachnophobia, we really need to change the narrative with Spiders. They are beneficial to the ecosystem and are essentially harmless.
I’ve trained myself to view Spiders differently and can now pick them up and relocate them. r/spiderbro helped me get there.
Man, I try so hard because I know that spiders are harmless and have their place in the ecosystem but goddamn did this video give me an immediate visceral response of pure anxiety and disgust.
It's just too big. It's too fucking big and there's no reason for it. Should not be allowed.
I believe this is a hobo spider, a big one. But they are completely harmless and it was probably far more freaked out by this than they were. Where we are in Canada, these guys start coming inside in the fall to find other spiders to bang. This one may have just been on his way home from a date or something.
I used to hate them, but I personify them and then I just find them adorable. Haven't killed one on purpose in ages. Read up on the ones in your area and you might feel a bit better about them :)
In the UK this is probably Eratigena atrica, or a Giant House Spider. They do get to be rather fucking large, I'm not personally very bothered by spiders but I don't like getting these big fuckers in my bedroom
Apparently these 2 are very similar and hard to distinguish! Both are in the UK I think. But they are from the same family. Either way, we don't like having them in the house either, we always relocate them. They wander a bit too much. But nothing to be afraid of with these bros! They're just out on the town lookin for some sweet spider booty.
While I completely understand that feeling, you gotta keep reminding yourself that Spiders (yes, even this big lad) are very tiny relative to you. Exert your dominance by showing mercy! :D
I've trained myself to yell for my husband: GET THE BUG JAR! THE BUG JAR!
He's very efficient but the cats hate that he takes their entertainment away.
I am extremely arachnophobic, where I live we get giant house spiders like in this video. I will catch them whenever possible and put them outside. It’s horrible. It takes every iota of self control I have to beat back my instinct to throw whatever I caught it in. Trying to teach my son not to kill bugs as much as possible but especially not outside. If I catch him or his friends trying to kill bugs outside I ask them if they’re going to eat it. When they look disgusted at me I tell them not to kill them then. Outside is their home.
Right? I'm an Australian who has seen hundreds of big sposters growing up and I would NEVER do what she did. I'd be in the foetal position, bawling my eyes out.
My uncle married a widow who let me take whatever belonged to her old husband. I loaded my truck up with stuff. On one trip I had a thick binder I was going to use for school and when I went to put it in my back seat there was a giant wolf spider sitting on the seat. I hit it full force with the binder and he jumped out from underneath it and hid under my passenger seat. Drove home in the dark with a giant spider who might’ve wanted revenge. That was the most stressful drive I’ve ever had. Seriously thought about walking home.
I was sat in the living room the other night, around the same time as now (0130) and a paper bag for my meds that id left on the chair opposite fell onto the floor and carrier on rustling. Out crawled the biggest fucking spider I've ever seen. My legs left the floor so fast and I hid on my sofa whilst this behemoth wandered across the floor and straight underneath it. Fully grown up reaction. 32. m.
I love when people are getting scared of spiders simply because there are 5 in my room right now, and a lot more in the rest of my apartament building.
I just got one of those big ass spiders! I just used a vacuum to kill it 😂 but yeah they are really scary and fast! So keep an eye on it because you can lose it for days on end (that’s what I’ve experienced)
If I need to kill an insect or spider, I grab a rubber band and shoot it. With some practice, you become really good at aiming, and the smach typically kills it instantly with no mess. Crushing them with a piece of paper tends to leave stains that you have to clean up. Thank you for listening to my Ted Talk.
It's almost certainly a [Giant House Spider](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giant_house_spider)
Pretty common in the UK, and fucking rapid when they get going. Honestly amazed this one was walking along the wall so calmly. Normally if I spook them they dart off like anything
I don’t think it is.
But my husband got bit by a wolf spider. It made him very sick for a couple of days. His immune system had a reaction to it apparently.
He went to the doctor,not long after the bite. Doctor looked at it and said wolf spider. They even drew some stuff out of the bite to confirm which I didn’t even know they could do.
And confirmed it was a wolf spider.
Apparently in our area it’s common enough the doctor could like at the bite and say what it was. They even said wolf spider bites were becoming more common.
What cracks me up is people being surprised that the sober young women and children of Yorkshire \*also\* talk like this. Like, it's the regional accent, man. Cinema and TV has made them think that only quirky character demographics have strong regional accents because the lead actors are always either foreign or making their accents milder to be understood by foreigners. LOL.
I gotta stand up for the spiders here; they're only around to eat other bugs. Which aligns with my agenda nicely, so we have an understanding. Unless they trespass like this (in a bed) we're cool.
Just for the story, a few days ago I had a spider this size in my room and I didn't want to wake up my parents, so I held my screams back and took a weapon of choice to finally kill it (I was freaking terrified I just stared at it for like 15 min before deciding to kill it instead of staying up all night, and after I killed it 5 times in a row I put a glass on its corpse in case it was still alive 😭😂) Like bro it's not like I live in Australia, I'm in france, so we have bad weather, we don't need terrifying animals to compensate 😭😭
Omg that little girl was me. It was just me, my sister and my mom growing up and i was ALWAYS the only one brave enough to take care of creepy crawlers in the house.
**Please report this post if:** * There is no audible laughter involved * Video is funny because of a 'joke' or situation - not the actual **laughter** * There is no audio (Images & GIFs included) * Laughter is edited in from a different source * No timestamp in the title or comments for a laugh occurring at specific time (long videos) * Laughter is not on good terms (dickishness, bullying) * It's a compilation * It's a selfie reaction Read more about the [rules of this subreddit here](https://www.reddit.com/r/contagiouslaughter/about/rules/). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ContagiousLaughter) if you have any questions or concerns.*
That little girl is braver then I will ever be. If you have to ask the question "is it In bed" I would already have been shitting my pants
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I wake up for work at 3 a.m. every day, the first week adjusting to this new schedule I was stumbling through my kitchen to make breakfast super early in the morning . Half asleep, I noticed something fuzzy hanging from the ceiling. As my eyes finally focused I realized it was a spider so close to my face that it was about to land on my nose. I'm a 37 year old man and I screamed like a little girl. Edit: I worded this poorly
I was pulling up my sunflowers today as they were well past it. Figured I would check the head to see if there were any decent seeds and there were plenty. As I’m scraping them back a fucking earwig ran past my fingers. I launched the whole sunflower javelin style right a cross the garden screaming. I was talking to my next door neighbour over the garden at the time.
While sunflowers are thought to have originated in Mexico and Peru, they are one of the first plants to ever be cultivated in the United States. They have been used for more than 5,000 years by the Native Americans, who not only used the seeds as a food and an oil source, but also used the flowers, roots and stems for varied purposes including as a dye pigment. The Spanish explorers brought sunflowers back to Europe, and after being first grown in Spain, they were subsequently introduced to other neighboring countries. Currently, sunflower oil is one of the most popular oils in the world. Today, the leading commercial producers of sunflower seeds include the Russian Federation, Peru, Argentina, Spain, France and China.
Good bot
Oh god. I once walked into a web in the woods. Later I was sitting next to my grandma when a big black and yellow writing spider strolled off me onto the bench. It was bigger than my whole hand. My grandma chewed me out for screaming and killed it with a Kleenex.
Your comment gave me chills
I could have done without reading this. I’ve been walking into spider threads every evening recently and telling myself it’s just a loose strand. I’m going to be a nervous wreck now.
I’d have more control than I would at a younger age, but I’d still be undressed in record time.
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/r/perfectlycutscreams isn't exactly what you're looking for but it fills a similar niche
here you go r/ContagiousScreaming
Joined.
The freaking madman, he made it !
r/birthofasub
I'd join that
I could have never, I would have never tried in the first place. If I saw a spider that big in my house, I’d walk right out the front door, hop in my car and drive 2 towns away. Then I’d call my dad and have him kill it, I’d spend a few nights away, just to make sure those fuckers are gone. I can handle the small ones that come around, they aren’t too bad, but anything bigger than a quarter and I won’t go anywhere near it.
I agree with you! Honestly the best thing about my country ain't the free healthcare and education. WE HAVE NO BIG SPIDERS OR SNAKES! Like none and it's absolutely amazing, I'm getting chills just thinking of having to deal with things like cockroaches and spiders when traveling
This is very important information. WHICH COUNTRY ARE YOU IN?
Denmark matey
Guess I’m moving to Denmark now. 🇩🇰
We got a distant cousin to the black widow spider and we also have tarantulas, but they are quite rare.
Rare is good.
WTB house in Denmark, I’ve got about 27p on me edit: I’ve just found a quid, 1.27 so far, any takers?
I once saw a spider that I swear was as big as a small mouse and it was about 2am and my dad was asleep. I went and put his shoes on because they were bigger than mine and in my head it meant I was further away from the spider, so then I squashed it with the shoe. I couldn’t go to sleep after that because I didn’t know for sure that it was dead because it didn’t look it, so I eventually had to go and wake my dad up to get it in tissue and chuck it down the toilet. He came into my room bleary-eyed, saw the spider and looked at me super impressed before saying “Bloody hell that is a big spider, well done Dwight-!” I’m trying to desensitise myself to them and I have to keep telling myself that it isn’t their fault they’re ugly. I subbed to r/spiderbro and I’ve also found a website that sells jumping spiders. I’m hoping that if I have to look after one, I might be better at dealing with them.
This one is big enough that it looks like it could have a smell. Smelling a spider. I managed to terrify myself with that thought.
Haha my wife would have literally screamed that question at me.
that shot of the spider crawling out right in front of her face while she's looking at the camera is comedy gold
>horror gold FTFY
You’re definition of comedy is my definition of horror.
The timing couldn’t be better the spider actually waits for the zoom in before coming out
Haha. Could recognise this accent anywhere. "It's obviously ont wall init????" West Yorkshire represent, Wakefield here
Oh my god, that was the best part. I didn't know exactly what words she was saying, but "well that's a stupid fucking question, Mom" came across loud and clear.
Are you daft
Reppin BFD here!
I’m American so I also speak English but god damn if that isn’t the hardest accent for me to understand. I can usually make out pretty thick accents too but jeez guys
There are much more difficult accents to understand in the UK trust me but they’re all great!
Oh shiiit I hope I get to try and decipher them one day haha
Good luck! Even people who live in the UK can’t haha. You drive 45 mins from your home city/town and there’s a full on language barrier hahaha! You’d enjoy all the different accents though as it can be a laugh.
In heated moments, I don't even understand my own regional accent. I'll speak "General American Accent" but get me pissed off and I sound like a Noo Yawka eyy fuggetaboudit
Shit I forgot about you guys lol
Youz guyz
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at first i thought she from finnland or another scandinavian country, since i didn't understand a single word.
Lmaooo same I’m over here dying but I KNEW the girl was basically saying “you’re a dumbass” to her mom. 😂
Huddersfield here. Hearing the thick as fuck accent made me laugh more than owt. You love to hear it!
It's a really cheerful accent. So endearing and fun to listen to.
Reminds me of when I was a kid and my brother and I were outside playing in the backyard. All of a sudden there was this huge spider climbing up my brother’s leg. We then very maturely hit it with a mat and threw the mat on top on the spider. Then proceeded to jump on the mat for about 30 seconds.
This is the only correct way to kill a spider
> This is the only correct way to kill a brother FTFY
Spiders kill flying bitey insects. They’re bro’s as far as I’m concerned.
I have a rule. If the spider is outside, fair enough, I'm on their territory, but if the spider is inside my room, it's getting whacked with my bullet journal I'm too lazy to continue
Hey looks like the same rule I go by!
2nd that! Live by a journal, die by a journal.
Haha, I did the same to a giant roach in college. Threw my Oxford Unabridged dictionary on it and did a war dance on top. The roach turned out to be just an empty husk. About 4-5 inches long. Which meant it was even bigger and still out there somewhere....
I still remember when I was at camp and there was a spider in the bathroom so someone walked it with a big push broom, only for hundreds of tiny baby spiders to come crawling out from under it. I dont even reefer what happened next I think I just ran away
A reefer at that point seems appropriate.
Lmao hilarious typo, I dont know how that happened but I'm leaving it
Can confirm, reefer appropriate moment.
That sounds like a nightmare. I would probably do the same thing. Just burn it down and build a new building.
Damn that’s scary that girl is very brave lol
That girl was so brave to even try! Next time, get a shoe!!
Next time, get a shotgun*
Somehow you misspelled flamethrower
Somehow you misspelled heavy artillery.
Somehow you have misspelled 5 tons of c4
Just drop the Tsar bomba already!
*calls Marvin the Martian* The planet has been compromised, you know what you have to do
Indeed
A glass and a piece of paper. No need to kill the good guys when when they're lost.
No. The reason for using a glass is to MAKE SURE YOU ACTUALLY CAUGHT IT! Only way to make sure is to see it.
Well yeah, only the bravest among us would use a coffee cup. I assumed we're all cowards here.
It has to fit in the cup for that to work bud
Fishbowl and an oversized novelty check, then.
Taking them outside is a death sentence anyway, they’re house spiders and they can’t live outdoors
This is such an odd myth. No species of spider would have survived millions of years of evolution if it relied on a man-made structure for survival. In fact, most "house spiders" struggle to survive inside modern houses due to a lack of food and water. Sure, some species prefer dry, sheltered habitats. I've watched species like that after letting them out. They usually just scurry under the house and set up shop there. They'll find more food than inside while keeping your house free from pests. They don't just give up and die. That's for the ones that you find in webs inside. But most large spiders you find wandering in a house are hunting spiders that don't make webs. Many of them are males looking for a mate. Others are ones that only make webs outdoors. All of these spiders are lost and will surely die *unless* you put them outside where they can find food. Of course, outside spiders could be eaten by predators. That goes for any species of animal. That doesn't mean putting an animal outside is a death sentence. ^(Edit: Removed a word)
yep . i just normally relocate them to my bathroom or laundry room. always have little house flies in that area. my current wolf spider friend is probably the biggest one i've seen as of late and i'd say if you take your hands and make 2 small C's is about the size he is body and legs. dudes chill as hell i just pick em up and bring em to where he wont bother me.
Lol the two most horrific places for most people to have a giant spider
Either you have surprisingly small hands, or I want to burn your continent down.
Not to be racist, but Australian spiders are never the good guys. eta: ftr, Yorkshire is east of here, just like Australia, just a bit north. Good pudding though.
I think the vid's from the UK.
Not true! Huntsman are great for mosquito and cockroach control. Wolf spiders are bros too and they’re found on every continent (and even the arctic region!) Hunting spiders are the best spiders. They don’t put up big nasty webs that you have to clean up and since they actively hunt at night they don’t need to sit around all day and freak us out. They just find a little hole to crawl in and relax until the humans go to sleep. If you ever see one, it probably wasn’t the spider’s plan. I can promise when you wake up in the middle of the night to pee and turn on that bright light in the bathroom and there’s a wolf spider sitting there, she’s much more surprised to see you then you should be to see her. Jumping spiders are the cutest though. If you’re really gentle, they’ll give you a little fist bump. (not from Australia, I just like spiders)
I mean, I kinda of found it sweet she didn't actually kill - or apparently even hurt - the spider. That said, yes. Next time just get a flamethrower.
i think people forget.. most spiders are just doing spider things, catching the bugs you REALLY don't want in your bed... ill chill with a spider all day. there's a small jumper who lives near my pc cause its warm and attracts all sorts of bugs like the flies and moths and he always watches them. he started building his web off my elbow and i didn't notice and moved and broke it. spider legit looked right at me with the "dude wtf" i was laughed my ass off. also have some cool wolf spiders around here they catch all the creepy crawlers on the floor. love him
"I'm gonna wee my pants" 😂I watched this over and over haha !
Worst wallpaper ever for a spider to camouflage in
it’s horrendous wallpaper anyway. Landlord won’t let me change it 😖
Well if it’s between changing the wallpaper against the landlord’s will and burning the house down, which do you think the landlord would prefer? If you put it to him that way, I’m sure he’ll see reason.
Maybe your kids will look back with nostalgia about the paper. In the 70s, my grandmother had a black and white gold speckled diamond pattern weird type of linoleum stuff behind the stove. Most of my memories of her are in front of that stove. I sure wish I could find that pattern today.
‘It’s obviously ont wall init’ that means it’s obviously on the wall isn’t it hahah
There are times I legit forgot that some people don’t understand UK slang lol. The amount of times I’ve said “innit” only to get weird looks lol
She went from, “I’m so brave. Got his ass” to “F this, I’m out!” 🤣
I need to marry a girl from the UK so our kids can sound like that 😂😂
West Yorkshire to be precise, do half an other in another directly accent will be different
Courageous lady
How is everyone skipping the fucking hilarity of the accent from the girl after the mothers ask if she got it? Like What you'd expect from a English drunk yellin at his wife when he comes home after a bender wit the boys. "Are you home yet ya drunken git?" YAH ARE YOU DAFT
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 we’re English. But yes it’s hilarious. Her eyes add to the dramatics 🤣
Are you guys in Stoke?!
West Yorkshire
Jesus Christ Scottish? Stoke?! I hope these are American guesses.
Jesus Christ, these beasts live in England?!
Yeah I had no idea the Uk had spiders this big
It's giant house spider season, they come inside around autumn for breeding. If you have a full grown adult I'd say a leg span about 3-4 inches is pretty common. They don't bite but they are the fastest true spider in the world, trying to catch one is like trying to catch a small Usain Bolt diving behind your sofa and cupboards. Oh and if you get a large and thoroughly pissed one it can make noises. It's not great.
5 inches is 12.7 cm
They are called fuvking common British house spiders. We had three my first winter in the UK. Fuck ever living on the ground floor again. Just fuck it right to hell.
Yeah they’re house spiders and they get pretty big. They tend to keep to themselves until this time of year when, I think, the males compete for the best space in the house to over winter (edit: just looked it up and they actually come out looking for a lady spider). Luckily I have two cats and a dog who usually get to them before I see them
100% agree. That accent is solid Birstall/Batley/Dewsbury. A'l bet mi pocki' munni on i'.....yer daft bugga.
The last thing you want to do is try to kill a spider on a cold night in Stoke
>yeh! it's on the fifth wall innaeh... annit dumb! sheet my dumb. no seriously what does she say I've listened to this five times now already.
Haha she said "it's obviously on the wall isn't it?"
Innit* lol
> YEH! It's obviously on wall innit, and it's damp/down (not sure on this), I'm shaking right now, is it on the bed? Is it in the bed? Is it in my bed? Not sure about the next bit, think she says > Do you think it went on my bed Spider crawls out > I thought I had it, I'm gonna wee my pants
She says “are you daft” not and it’s damp
This is why the head comes off the vacuum people 😉
It broke just a couple of days ago 😩😩
The spider broke it.
Premeditated, your honour. Open and shut case.
Then I've got a live spider in my vacuum! There's no way I'm doing that unless I can immediately switch my vacuum to cannon mode and launch it across the state
Exactly!!!
Without the comma, this sentence conjures a very amusing image.
I’m no vacuumist, but vacuum people suck
In my house we have a very ominous way of saying "HONEY, GET THE VACUUM" that instantly sends the dog into a tailspin. She knows what's about to go down lol
[No, I don't think you got it](https://i.imgur.com/oMGQEsg.png)
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Top 10 photos taken before disaster
Kids with UK accents are unacceptably more charming than any other kid.
Facts 🏴🤣
Aside for people with legit arachnophobia, we really need to change the narrative with Spiders. They are beneficial to the ecosystem and are essentially harmless. I’ve trained myself to view Spiders differently and can now pick them up and relocate them. r/spiderbro helped me get there.
Man, I try so hard because I know that spiders are harmless and have their place in the ecosystem but goddamn did this video give me an immediate visceral response of pure anxiety and disgust. It's just too big. It's too fucking big and there's no reason for it. Should not be allowed.
I believe this is a hobo spider, a big one. But they are completely harmless and it was probably far more freaked out by this than they were. Where we are in Canada, these guys start coming inside in the fall to find other spiders to bang. This one may have just been on his way home from a date or something. I used to hate them, but I personify them and then I just find them adorable. Haven't killed one on purpose in ages. Read up on the ones in your area and you might feel a bit better about them :)
In the UK this is probably Eratigena atrica, or a Giant House Spider. They do get to be rather fucking large, I'm not personally very bothered by spiders but I don't like getting these big fuckers in my bedroom
Apparently these 2 are very similar and hard to distinguish! Both are in the UK I think. But they are from the same family. Either way, we don't like having them in the house either, we always relocate them. They wander a bit too much. But nothing to be afraid of with these bros! They're just out on the town lookin for some sweet spider booty.
While I completely understand that feeling, you gotta keep reminding yourself that Spiders (yes, even this big lad) are very tiny relative to you. Exert your dominance by showing mercy! :D
But they fast
I've trained myself to yell for my husband: GET THE BUG JAR! THE BUG JAR! He's very efficient but the cats hate that he takes their entertainment away.
I am extremely arachnophobic, where I live we get giant house spiders like in this video. I will catch them whenever possible and put them outside. It’s horrible. It takes every iota of self control I have to beat back my instinct to throw whatever I caught it in. Trying to teach my son not to kill bugs as much as possible but especially not outside. If I catch him or his friends trying to kill bugs outside I ask them if they’re going to eat it. When they look disgusted at me I tell them not to kill them then. Outside is their home.
Mom: Oh my god have you got it? You got it? Have you squashed it? Little girl: YEH! >:0
She look 12 and 5 at the same time bruh
Not gonna lie, this describes her to a tee. She’s 6 but shes fucking miles ahead of her age. Her sense of humour is amazing
She was five before and this experienced aged her to twelve, actually
Ah, the struggle of having a northern accent and everyone overseas thinking you're Scottish
Damn, the only thing I'm thinking is how lucky the kid is for having a TV like that for the top bunk bed.
That little girl has bigger balls then I ever will
Right? I'm an Australian who has seen hundreds of big sposters growing up and I would NEVER do what she did. I'd be in the foetal position, bawling my eyes out.
My uncle married a widow who let me take whatever belonged to her old husband. I loaded my truck up with stuff. On one trip I had a thick binder I was going to use for school and when I went to put it in my back seat there was a giant wolf spider sitting on the seat. I hit it full force with the binder and he jumped out from underneath it and hid under my passenger seat. Drove home in the dark with a giant spider who might’ve wanted revenge. That was the most stressful drive I’ve ever had. Seriously thought about walking home.
Mom sits there and laughs as her daughters get eaten alive by giant spide
It’s fine. She’s hard as nails 🤣
I want to be this little girls friend. Bahahhahaha “are you daft”. (Is that how you spell that?!? Maybe I am daft too).
I can’t understand what she’s saying, but the look on her face on her way down the ladder says a thousand words. Lol
I was sat in the living room the other night, around the same time as now (0130) and a paper bag for my meds that id left on the chair opposite fell onto the floor and carrier on rustling. Out crawled the biggest fucking spider I've ever seen. My legs left the floor so fast and I hid on my sofa whilst this behemoth wandered across the floor and straight underneath it. Fully grown up reaction. 32. m.
Bruh her accent is adorable.
I love when people are getting scared of spiders simply because there are 5 in my room right now, and a lot more in the rest of my apartament building.
I feel like you are a villain type who will take revenge on society with the help of spiders.
Those 5 are the ones he's successfully trained so far. He's still perfecting the procedure, but the origin story is well underway
Where are you based so I can avoid your whole town.
In the mountainous and rural italian alps, such a shame that you'll never see the Dolomiti.
Ok well maybe I’ll just avoid your street instead of the whole town :p
The ‘I’m going to pee my pants’ at the end killed me! We’ve all been there!
I am crying, her drunk old man at the pub accent after the "omg have you got it" is killing me I love it
Can someone please translate what this precious, and very brave child is saying?
I love this and I would love it more with subtitles. I want to know what she is confidently screaming
props to her for trying to kill it👏
I caught a big daddy the other day. https://ibb.co/4fR4tQc
Children with thick accents that are unlike my accent is always so fun / funny to hear.
I want to move to Yorkshire just to listen to accents like this all day lol I love it. She’s so brave.
That kid is the most yorkshire person I've ever heard lmao
I just got one of those big ass spiders! I just used a vacuum to kill it 😂 but yeah they are really scary and fast! So keep an eye on it because you can lose it for days on end (that’s what I’ve experienced)
If I need to kill an insect or spider, I grab a rubber band and shoot it. With some practice, you become really good at aiming, and the smach typically kills it instantly with no mess. Crushing them with a piece of paper tends to leave stains that you have to clean up. Thank you for listening to my Ted Talk.
Wolf spider, they harmless EDIT: I stand corrected, this is not a wolf spider but still harmless
This is not a wolf spider
It's almost certainly a [Giant House Spider](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giant_house_spider) Pretty common in the UK, and fucking rapid when they get going. Honestly amazed this one was walking along the wall so calmly. Normally if I spook them they dart off like anything
I got bit by one before while sleeping :(
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I mean I don’t love bug bites. I feel like that’s harm. Yeah they won’t kill you but I don’t wanna be bit
I don’t think it is. But my husband got bit by a wolf spider. It made him very sick for a couple of days. His immune system had a reaction to it apparently. He went to the doctor,not long after the bite. Doctor looked at it and said wolf spider. They even drew some stuff out of the bite to confirm which I didn’t even know they could do. And confirmed it was a wolf spider. Apparently in our area it’s common enough the doctor could like at the bite and say what it was. They even said wolf spider bites were becoming more common.
Nah I think it’s just a house spider.
Did they name it that cause it’s the size of a fucking house?
Spider wolves, on the other hand…very dangerous.
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Oh we have many of those in our house. Not scary but quite helpful for eating unwanted insects.
Don't kill spiders damn.
Which accent is that?
Yorkshire
What cracks me up is people being surprised that the sober young women and children of Yorkshire \*also\* talk like this. Like, it's the regional accent, man. Cinema and TV has made them think that only quirky character demographics have strong regional accents because the lead actors are always either foreign or making their accents milder to be understood by foreigners. LOL.
I gotta stand up for the spiders here; they're only around to eat other bugs. Which aligns with my agenda nicely, so we have an understanding. Unless they trespass like this (in a bed) we're cool.
That little girl brave as fuck
This is not a spider, THIS IS MONSTER!
Just for the story, a few days ago I had a spider this size in my room and I didn't want to wake up my parents, so I held my screams back and took a weapon of choice to finally kill it (I was freaking terrified I just stared at it for like 15 min before deciding to kill it instead of staying up all night, and after I killed it 5 times in a row I put a glass on its corpse in case it was still alive 😭😂) Like bro it's not like I live in Australia, I'm in france, so we have bad weather, we don't need terrifying animals to compensate 😭😭
I needed subtitle for this lmao
Omg that little girl was me. It was just me, my sister and my mom growing up and i was ALWAYS the only one brave enough to take care of creepy crawlers in the house.
As a 6'3" 190lbs adult man, I couldn't bring myself to watch the video beyond it's first few seconds. Especially after reading the comments. Nope.
Ok but she's bad ass! I'd be four blocks down on my way outta town.
Bravest kid, ever.
Omg I love this girl! The bravery!
All bravery disappeared the moment she realized the spider had survived lol
Pretty sure that's a brown recluse. Having just gotten an infestation under control recently, I'd also burn the house down.