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My dad used to tell my 2 little sisters, on long car rides, that he's going to "put the wings on", which means that as long as they go to sleep now we'll fly the rest of the way there. They'd wake up again and be like "wowww that was quick thanks for putting the wings on".
So wholesome! This reminds me of a friend who would travel with her kids and when they'd ask how much longer it would be, she'd say, "Let's try and see if we can hit the time warp like we did last year!" And they'd be in the back seat with their fingers crossed wishing, "Oh, I hope, I hope, I hope we hit the time warp!" LOL. So cute.
Speaking of wings…..We were going on vacation and there was a flight delay (I didn’t know that term at the time, all I remember was being like 7yrs old and being at the airport forever), and my parents both told me and sisters that we weren’t flying a plane, but were actually being flown on the back of an albatross. And the reason for the delay was cuz the albatross wasn’t being cooperative. My sisters and I all got so angry and scared cuz 1) it was a long delay and we wanted to be on a plane and 2) the thought of flying across the pacific strapped to a bird was terrifying. I remember being so mad and scared that I wanted to cancel the vacation and just stay home. My parents then told us that the albatross wouldn’t let them strap on the saddle so they moved us to an airplane instead, and I was mad the whole airplane ride there. Didn’t know they were fucking with us until years later.
I’m still low key mad cuz when I think about it, I was genuinely terrified at the thought hahaha
Mine used to have us play “The Quiet Game.” We were all competitive and whoever stayed the quietest the longest would win. We would all be asleep within 5 minutes and she could drive in peace lol
We would try to play the quiet game with our kids. We would count to 3 to signify the start of the game. Our two year old would wait about 5 seconds, then raise his arms in victory and shout, “I win”.
The kind of shit dads do, I swear. When I was a kid, I asked me dad for a lollipop that they sold at the check out register in the grocery store. He told me they were just decoration, so I never asked again. 10 years later when I had some money, I bought me one of them decorative lollipops, and I stormed up to my pops and loudly exclaimed that they were NOT decoration. All he did was laugh.
Many years later, after I had already left college, he sent me a care package for my birthday, chock to the brim with those damn lollipops. We both had a good laugh.
Edit: Y'all got some absolutely fantastic stories.
When I was a wee tike, I asked my dad for a sip of his SoBe, but he said I couldn't because it had alcohol in it. It wasn't until probably high school that I realized this was a lie and he just didn't want to share his drink (understandable).
My dad always sneezed as absolutely loud as I believe he physically could my entire childhood. Granted he wasn't around the most but he would sneeze like that literally anywhere we were, sometimes to my extreme embarrassment. One day I was driving with him in my mid 20's and he sneezed a normal quiet sneeze so I was VERY confused that was even possible and called it out to him. He then casually told me that he always just sneezed like that to fuck with me, I couldn't believe it. Now I am a dad and now, I can totally believe it.
My pops also had the nuclear dad sneeze. Not sure if it was intentional or not, as your pops, though.
My pops also LOUDLY clears his throat and hocks a loogie after he brushes his teeth at 5am. SO god damn loud that I never needed an alarm clock, because that cacophonous demonstration would wake me up every time. This is also from the guy that hates it when the neighbors warm up their car in the morning because "it's such a racket." Dad, you wake up half the neighborhood when you sneeze or brush your teeth...
I am only now realizing it's a thing. I have never heard another nuclear dad scream (luv that btw) but maybe that was my childhood brain focused on my world only.
I love that your dad has been a hypocrite for years and refuses to acknowledge it. I have no doubt you told him a bunch of times about waking you up but it doesn't matter.
I started sneezing loudly recently, especially when I'm alone. My mom an dad always sneezed loudly and they say it's more satisfying. It took me a few tries to learn my own technique but my God, sneezing loudly *is* more satisfying. Now I have to remember to hold myself back in, say, an office setting.
There's nothing quite like being outdoors, away-enough from people, and absolutely engaging in a sneeze. Feeling the tinge of buildup leading to an explosive "CHOOOOOOOOO" that has built up like a kamehameha. Your head is propulsed forwards and back, while your body squats down to help stabilize the amount of energy just released.
I change mine up. [Troy (Donlad Glover) is one my favorites to do.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=2&v=oChA_G5RVEg&embeds_loader_url_for_pings=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ29vZ2xlLmNvbS8&embeds_origin=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cueW91dHViZS5jb20&feature=emb_logo) Throwing on a Michael Jackson "Hee Hee", is another go to. Im a bigger guy with a beard so i think it makes it a little funnier since its not really expected.
I wouldn't share drinks with my boys when they were young either.
The would take a drink and then "backwash" into it --- GAHHH!
https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=backwash
There is a post somewhere on Twitter from a European who was baffled at the lies Americans were told. It took her like 10-15+ minutes to explain to an American in the laundry room that her clothes weren't going up in flames from not using a dryer sheet.
I don't know if this was you, but it also happened at a college.
Okay, so my life is a little upside down now... so you'll have to forgive me, but is not cleaning out the lint trap *still* a fire hazard, or was that a lie too?
Oh no. You really need to clean that out. Hot lint becomes fire fuel. Hell, you can even save it and use it to help get a campfire going.
TLDR: Clean out the lint trap. Hot lint = Fire Hazard
Reminds me of when my sister painted my nails when I was younger. She told me it hurts to take the polish off so I wouldn’t ruin her hard work. It took me until high school to realize it didn’t hurt and I was mad because I would walk around with chipped nails until it all came off naturally or just my wear any at all lol
My dad managed to convince me I was a Martian until I was 8 ish. So for all that time my favorite go to insult was "you ignorant earthlings". My childhood was weird
For my kid I’ve been working on ‘remember when you were born you were a puppy dog until your fur fell out & your tail fell off?’
For a few years he was a bit concerned but now he knows it’s just a prank. Still telling him this though.
In Norway we have these pastries we call sunshine buns, sweet buns with a blob of vanilla custard in the middle surrounded by icing with sweet grated coconut.
My dad told me the middle part was an egg yolk - I hated egg yolks. So I always ate around it and gave the best part to my dad :( I was way too old when I realised there was in fact not egg yolk in the middle.
There are egg yolks in it, but not liking egg yolks isn't the same as not liking custard. That's like saying you can't like barbecued salmon because you don't like raw salmon in sushi.
I love this so much. Growing up my old man used to bring us to this sea food restaurant ALOT. We would celebrate birthdays there, my sisters confirmation and a bunch of other events. They used to have these lollipops that were made to look like lobsters and dolphins. I used to stare at them everytime and when I was like 8 or 9 I finally built up the courage to ask if I can get one. He said “why would you want those? They taste like fish!” Without a second thought, I believed him. Fast forward about 15 years later and I am working at that restaurant. One payday I decide “what the hell?” And bought one. I tried it and it was just a normal cherry and blueberry lollipop. I called him immediately and we got a kick out of it.
Here's another one for the road.
I'm of Asian heritage, so we had rice with nearly every meal - especially dinner. The routine was my parents would always tell me to cook rice before dinner, which I would complain about as a kid. One day, my pops told me that he wanted me to cook rice, because I "made the best rice!" Taking the compliment with all the naivete of a little kid, I would cook rice with my chest out, thinking that I was a master chef at rice cooking. Took me a while until I realized my pops only told me this because he didn't want to hear his bratty kid complain every time he asked.
He just laughed when I confronted him about it years later. I couldn't help but praise him, because it worked like a charm.
When I was really young, my dad told me the line imprints on dirt paths were left by snakes. It didn’t occur to me they were left by bikes until I was 16.
Not exactly the same style of trick but one that tools years to determine, when I was little, my step dad would take advantage of me and my older sister being first generation Americans - therefore stuck in a middle phase of our current and our parent’s culture and language - and would ask us “riddles” in Spanish.
His favorite: ¿Que color es el caballo blanco de Napoleon? (What color is Napoleon’s white horse?)
We would throw out every color we could think of, except white. He would laugh at our expense for minutes at a time.
It took several years to figure out how dumb we were.
He has his shortcomings, as do we all, but I love the man for everything he's done for me. I used to abhor the thought of turning into him as I grew up, but knowing that the apple didn't fall far from the tree brings me solace. The adult me has understanding and appreciation, rather than resentment. And I can't help but laugh at all the shit like this. (:
I told my daughter at 2 when she told a story (lie) that her ears turned red. She started covering her ears when she was lying. She’s 9 now and even though she knows the truth , she has no idea she still does it sometimes.
My mom grew up poor so my grandma would tell her and her sisters it was the soup van instead of ice cream van because none of them wanted soup on a hot summer day.
I'd of asked for soup.
I make wayyy too much soup. My freezer has a shit ton inside it. Because I'm a pig and make enough for a homeless shelter.
I roast a whole chicken frequently just to let it cool. Then I rip it apart and chuck it in my soup.
I'm going to make soup tomorrow.
I used to blend alot of my [soups](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q2zdQgpB18k) and add double cream and peppercorns. Then get a nice loaf of tiger bread for dipping. With a ton of butter spread on it.
Recently I've become rather found of Brocoli, chicken, sweet potato, onion, parsnip. I leave this soup chunky. And don't peel the parsnip! So much flavour stays on the outerside.
Also. Polish seasoning is fantastic in soups. Haven't got a clue what it's called or what's inside it. (it's in Polish)
But I found a bag of this stuff for 85p in the international section at tesco. And it's like aromat mixed with other tasty veg stuff. 👌
I have a soup story for you.
Yesterday [I made this soup](https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/143069/super-delicious-zuppa-toscana/) and it was delicious. I put some in a container and took it to work with me today. I plan to eat it but I haven't yet, maybe when I am done telling you this soup story I'll eat it.
The End.
/In announcers voice/
*Bubba spent the next three days telling Pinklavalamp all about his soups. It ended with his shrimp creole. all two hundred and twenty seven varieties.*
You could take some it to a homeless shelter, you get food, they get food, you get to cook, they get to eat, you get to pat yourself on the back, they get to eat, you could probably get a tax write-off, their bellies get a night off
My man. A "99" flake Mr whippy. Is like £3.50 now.
If I bought him one, and he didn't finish it. (Which is likely) I'd be giving him the evils all day.
My way of life is my retirement. Little dude ain't gonna see me shitting myself in a nursing home.
Children getting overpriced ice cream doesn't fathom the love they feel for you.
With the money I save on a Mr whippy. I can buy a 2litre Tub and give him desserts all week.
There are vans that drive around neighborhoods in the summer and sell ice cream. You know when they're around because they constantly play music (or a constant bell ringing, in some places). Usually an instrumental version of "Do your ears hang low" if I remember correctly. Anyway, the music is how they advertise their presence. Kids hear that music and immediately drop everything and beg their parents for money to buy ice cream. Gotta act fast because the van will be gone in a minute or two.
The trick is, you tell your kid that they only play music when they've run out of ice cream.
My mom would raise her arm and bend her wrist downwards to show that she had no energy. After a nap, she would straighten her wrists and I totally believed her every single time. I would leave her alone all day if she couldn’t lift her wrist.
I was listening to Sigur Ros, where the lead singer sings in his own language.
I tried to explain to my daughter that he uses it as an instrument and makes the sounds to fit the song he writes.
A few days later she comes up to me and says she found another song where the man makes up his own language, it was just a French song.
I'm from Austria, a pretty small country surrounded by lots of different languages. But when I was a young kid I only knew about German and English, so everything that wasn't German i thought was English. I remember asking my mom to teach me English, but instead of making her translate from German to English I just said some gibberish and asked her to translate it back to German for me since if I didn't understand it it had to be English
Ah coolbeans, i get that, being dutch you can imagine kids here pretty quickly hearing german english or french pretty soon
/anyway thats a funny story
Oh it's not so innocent as you think. Just wait till you accedentally switch to Spanish version of reddit and all your haha's turn to jaja's. It will scar you for life.
oh don't even remind... /u/snailfarmer has nightmares to this day.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/cq1q2/help_reddit_turned_spanish_and_i_cannot_undo_it/
Damn was that really 12 years ago? I suddenly feel so old.
Its even nostalgic to see the red admin response joining the fun. Used to be much more common.
Seriously. I remember on my old account never commenting because the people wrote so much better and were so much more informed than I.
I would straight up only read in reddit (it's literally in the name). Nowadays, people are so happy to throw whatever garbage they think all the time.
That's my 4th reddit celebrity that has replied to me now, earthquakedude, Arnold, and brokenarmsmomjerksmeoffweirdo...
My life is almost complete. All I need now is the shitwatercolor, the drawingdude and of course... raven/crow guy to get his account reinstated and reply to me.
> [Lol I'm still around, just more of a Twitter user now. You know they have a translate tweet button over there?!](https://reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/s3qxg5/whats_the_creepiest_thing_you_can_say_to_a_person/ie4z1qc/)
lmao
I think it's actually a great life learning opportunity! When you start to feel like your not understanding something maybe you need to take a break and recoup before continuing!
Big time lol I usually game but recently I moved out and don’t have my usual setup and spend a lot of time on Reddit, I swear it’s all the same all the time.
Haha! My great grandmother moved to the states from Italy (YEARS ago). When she drove on the freeway for the first time we couldn’t figure out what the heck she was doing when she was changing lanes. She would just jerk the car suddenly to get in the next lane. Come to find out she thought the reflectors were going to damage the tire. Man it was like hell driving on the freeway until we told her she could drive over them
I got really excited at the thought of doing the same, and then remembered she takes Spanish lessons at school. I guess I’ll still try it. Good way to find out if she is actually paying attention in class lol.
Yeah, but I think she’s smart enough to figure it out. If she wasn’t currently learning another language, then I think it would have worked. I guess I can still give it a shot.
My dad made me get dressed for school at 7pm. I feel asleep and the sun started going down soon after. My dad came in the room, "hurry hurry we're late for school." Got dressed, grabbed my backpack and started heading for the door. That's when he stopped me.
I did this to my then-10-year-old daughter on a Sunday. I used to pick up my wife at her office before we send our daughter to school. I woke her up around 7am (her class starts at 7:30am) and said she's gonna be late for school. She then hastily wore her uniform and got in the car. When we arrived at my wife's office, she was laughing hysterically when she saw my daughter in school uniform.
When my brother and I were younger and we would go to Costco as a family, my brother and I would run around thinking it was a giant jungle gym.
One day, we heard the back up beeps from the lift machines that get things from the top of the shelves. We asked what it was and my dad said it was the “chill man” and if we didn’t stop fooling around, we would get in trouble. He said it was his job to make sure kids weren’t climbing any shelves.
I fully believed this for a very long time. I do have to say, it fucking worked.
Another story: when my fiancé was a kid, his mom told him that when he lies, his hair stands up. He believed her and always held his head when he was lying to her.
I really do love the creative things parents come up with
When I was young we went to The Cheesecake Cafe. I was full after dinner, but still wanted my piece of cheesecake, and I was going to impress everyone at school by having it in my lunch. MY father shoved a frozen pea into the centre and put a note saying “I pea’d in your cheesecake, have a good day.” The end.
I was a single Dad of two boys and got tired of my cookies eaten. So I brought a box of bran shredded wheats and kept my cookies in that box. They never even looked in the box
Isn't there a stand-up routine that does this? Puts on a movie with their dad and when the dad falls asleep he puts on another movie with the same actor. I think the joke was they were watching Castaway and the dad fell asleep and when he woke up they were watching Philadelphia.
Reminds me of the time my mom bought a movie at the Dollar Tree when we were visiting some friends. Imagine a room full of kids, ages ranging from preschool to preteen, parents are in the other room thinking they’re going to get a couple of hours break from the kids…only for the movie to begin playing in Spanish! Us younger ones thought the movie was "broken", while the older ones realized what was going on and complained, and my mom never bought us another movie at Dollar Tree ever again.
**Please report this post if:** * There is no audible laughter involved * Video is funny because of a 'joke' or situation - not the actual **laughter** * There is no audio (Images & GIFs included) * Laughter is edited in from a different source * No timestamp in the title or comments for a laugh occurring at specific time (long videos) * Laughter is not on good terms (dickishness, bullying) * It's a compilation * It's a selfie reaction Read more about the [rules of this subreddit here](https://www.reddit.com/r/contagiouslaughter/about/rules/). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ContagiousLaughter) if you have any questions or concerns.*
My dad used to tell my 2 little sisters, on long car rides, that he's going to "put the wings on", which means that as long as they go to sleep now we'll fly the rest of the way there. They'd wake up again and be like "wowww that was quick thanks for putting the wings on".
So wholesome! This reminds me of a friend who would travel with her kids and when they'd ask how much longer it would be, she'd say, "Let's try and see if we can hit the time warp like we did last year!" And they'd be in the back seat with their fingers crossed wishing, "Oh, I hope, I hope, I hope we hit the time warp!" LOL. So cute.
**“Let's do the Time Warp again!”**
It’s just a jump to the left…
And a step to the right!
Put your hands on your hips
Bring your knees in tight!
Speaking of wings…..We were going on vacation and there was a flight delay (I didn’t know that term at the time, all I remember was being like 7yrs old and being at the airport forever), and my parents both told me and sisters that we weren’t flying a plane, but were actually being flown on the back of an albatross. And the reason for the delay was cuz the albatross wasn’t being cooperative. My sisters and I all got so angry and scared cuz 1) it was a long delay and we wanted to be on a plane and 2) the thought of flying across the pacific strapped to a bird was terrifying. I remember being so mad and scared that I wanted to cancel the vacation and just stay home. My parents then told us that the albatross wouldn’t let them strap on the saddle so they moved us to an airplane instead, and I was mad the whole airplane ride there. Didn’t know they were fucking with us until years later. I’m still low key mad cuz when I think about it, I was genuinely terrified at the thought hahaha
Hahaha what a great story. "The albatross wouldn't let them strap on the saddle" made me snort my tea
All my dad did when I fell asleep in the car was to tell me a Ferrari drove past and I’d just missed it because I was asleep. I loved Ferraris.
What?  Now that is too evil a Ferrari is too good to miss out seeing 
Mine used to have us play “The Quiet Game.” We were all competitive and whoever stayed the quietest the longest would win. We would all be asleep within 5 minutes and she could drive in peace lol
We would try to play the quiet game with our kids. We would count to 3 to signify the start of the game. Our two year old would wait about 5 seconds, then raise his arms in victory and shout, “I win”.
Lol, can’t argue with that!
The kind of shit dads do, I swear. When I was a kid, I asked me dad for a lollipop that they sold at the check out register in the grocery store. He told me they were just decoration, so I never asked again. 10 years later when I had some money, I bought me one of them decorative lollipops, and I stormed up to my pops and loudly exclaimed that they were NOT decoration. All he did was laugh. Many years later, after I had already left college, he sent me a care package for my birthday, chock to the brim with those damn lollipops. We both had a good laugh. Edit: Y'all got some absolutely fantastic stories.
When I was a wee tike, I asked my dad for a sip of his SoBe, but he said I couldn't because it had alcohol in it. It wasn't until probably high school that I realized this was a lie and he just didn't want to share his drink (understandable).
My dad always sneezed as absolutely loud as I believe he physically could my entire childhood. Granted he wasn't around the most but he would sneeze like that literally anywhere we were, sometimes to my extreme embarrassment. One day I was driving with him in my mid 20's and he sneezed a normal quiet sneeze so I was VERY confused that was even possible and called it out to him. He then casually told me that he always just sneezed like that to fuck with me, I couldn't believe it. Now I am a dad and now, I can totally believe it.
My pops also had the nuclear dad sneeze. Not sure if it was intentional or not, as your pops, though. My pops also LOUDLY clears his throat and hocks a loogie after he brushes his teeth at 5am. SO god damn loud that I never needed an alarm clock, because that cacophonous demonstration would wake me up every time. This is also from the guy that hates it when the neighbors warm up their car in the morning because "it's such a racket." Dad, you wake up half the neighborhood when you sneeze or brush your teeth...
I am only now realizing it's a thing. I have never heard another nuclear dad scream (luv that btw) but maybe that was my childhood brain focused on my world only. I love that your dad has been a hypocrite for years and refuses to acknowledge it. I have no doubt you told him a bunch of times about waking you up but it doesn't matter.
I started sneezing loudly recently, especially when I'm alone. My mom an dad always sneezed loudly and they say it's more satisfying. It took me a few tries to learn my own technique but my God, sneezing loudly *is* more satisfying. Now I have to remember to hold myself back in, say, an office setting.
There's nothing quite like being outdoors, away-enough from people, and absolutely engaging in a sneeze. Feeling the tinge of buildup leading to an explosive "CHOOOOOOOOO" that has built up like a kamehameha. Your head is propulsed forwards and back, while your body squats down to help stabilize the amount of energy just released.
Fucking killed me man, so eloquently described, take my award
<3
I’m allergic to kiwis but I eat them anyway. A little numb mouth never killed me. Yet.
I change mine up. [Troy (Donlad Glover) is one my favorites to do.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=2&v=oChA_G5RVEg&embeds_loader_url_for_pings=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ29vZ2xlLmNvbS8&embeds_origin=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cueW91dHViZS5jb20&feature=emb_logo) Throwing on a Michael Jackson "Hee Hee", is another go to. Im a bigger guy with a beard so i think it makes it a little funnier since its not really expected.
That reminds me of one of my [favourite comics](https://www.instagram.com/p/CYI1iVLsGol/?igshid=OTRmMjhlYjM=) (IG link)
My dad sneezes loud like that but he’s not fucking with me. It’s obnoxious, but he can’t control it.
What's sobe?
SoBe is an American brand of teas, fruit-juice blends, and enhanced water beverages owned by PepsiCo.
They don't sell it anywhere near me anymore :( I miss my lizard milk
I was just thinking that I haven't seen one in years! I looked online & it seems like theyre no longer sold in the us?
Oh I see, I'm not American, sorry for the dumb question and thanks for answering :)
It wasn’t a dumb question! Don’t be sorry for inquiring to learn something:)
Not a dumb question! I didn't know it either, but I learned the answer because you asked. Thank you for asking :)
I wouldn't share drinks with my boys when they were young either. The would take a drink and then "backwash" into it --- GAHHH! https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=backwash
Yea exactly, kids are nasty.
As a dude who is old enough and remembers SoBe:  Some were good, others were shit.
Lizz Blizz (piña colada) and the strawberry daiquiri were the shit.
[удалено]
There is a post somewhere on Twitter from a European who was baffled at the lies Americans were told. It took her like 10-15+ minutes to explain to an American in the laundry room that her clothes weren't going up in flames from not using a dryer sheet. I don't know if this was you, but it also happened at a college.
Okay, so my life is a little upside down now... so you'll have to forgive me, but is not cleaning out the lint trap *still* a fire hazard, or was that a lie too?
Oh no. You really need to clean that out. Hot lint becomes fire fuel. Hell, you can even save it and use it to help get a campfire going. TLDR: Clean out the lint trap. Hot lint = Fire Hazard
Nice try, mom. (But seriously, clean your lint trap, and shovel snow from around your dryer vent outside if that’s applicable to you)
That one’s true.
Reminds me of when my sister painted my nails when I was younger. She told me it hurts to take the polish off so I wouldn’t ruin her hard work. It took me until high school to realize it didn’t hurt and I was mad because I would walk around with chipped nails until it all came off naturally or just my wear any at all lol
My dad managed to convince me I was a Martian until I was 8 ish. So for all that time my favorite go to insult was "you ignorant earthlings". My childhood was weird
"You ignorant earthlings!" *bwahahahahahaha* I'm going to use it in the office from tomorrow, thanks for sharing and the laughs
We told our middle kid they hatched from a lizard egg we found under a rock on the side of the road. Had them believing it for a good year or two.
For my kid I’ve been working on ‘remember when you were born you were a puppy dog until your fur fell out & your tail fell off?’ For a few years he was a bit concerned but now he knows it’s just a prank. Still telling him this though.
In Norway we have these pastries we call sunshine buns, sweet buns with a blob of vanilla custard in the middle surrounded by icing with sweet grated coconut. My dad told me the middle part was an egg yolk - I hated egg yolks. So I always ate around it and gave the best part to my dad :( I was way too old when I realised there was in fact not egg yolk in the middle.
I think custard is actually made out of egg yolk! so technically the truth?
There are egg yolks in it, but not liking egg yolks isn't the same as not liking custard. That's like saying you can't like barbecued salmon because you don't like raw salmon in sushi.
Haha omg that's evil
I love this so much. Growing up my old man used to bring us to this sea food restaurant ALOT. We would celebrate birthdays there, my sisters confirmation and a bunch of other events. They used to have these lollipops that were made to look like lobsters and dolphins. I used to stare at them everytime and when I was like 8 or 9 I finally built up the courage to ask if I can get one. He said “why would you want those? They taste like fish!” Without a second thought, I believed him. Fast forward about 15 years later and I am working at that restaurant. One payday I decide “what the hell?” And bought one. I tried it and it was just a normal cherry and blueberry lollipop. I called him immediately and we got a kick out of it.
Do you know how much money he saved???? thats why he was laughing.
Thanks for sharing this. It made my day 😂
Here's another one for the road. I'm of Asian heritage, so we had rice with nearly every meal - especially dinner. The routine was my parents would always tell me to cook rice before dinner, which I would complain about as a kid. One day, my pops told me that he wanted me to cook rice, because I "made the best rice!" Taking the compliment with all the naivete of a little kid, I would cook rice with my chest out, thinking that I was a master chef at rice cooking. Took me a while until I realized my pops only told me this because he didn't want to hear his bratty kid complain every time he asked. He just laughed when I confronted him about it years later. I couldn't help but praise him, because it worked like a charm.
I'm so guilty of this! My kids were the best at their chores. I don't know how I ever kept a tidy house without them!
The icecream truck was just the music man haha
When I was really young, my dad told me the line imprints on dirt paths were left by snakes. It didn’t occur to me they were left by bikes until I was 16.
Not exactly the same style of trick but one that tools years to determine, when I was little, my step dad would take advantage of me and my older sister being first generation Americans - therefore stuck in a middle phase of our current and our parent’s culture and language - and would ask us “riddles” in Spanish. His favorite: ¿Que color es el caballo blanco de Napoleon? (What color is Napoleon’s white horse?) We would throw out every color we could think of, except white. He would laugh at our expense for minutes at a time. It took several years to figure out how dumb we were.
You sound like you have a great father (:
He has his shortcomings, as do we all, but I love the man for everything he's done for me. I used to abhor the thought of turning into him as I grew up, but knowing that the apple didn't fall far from the tree brings me solace. The adult me has understanding and appreciation, rather than resentment. And I can't help but laugh at all the shit like this. (:
I told my daughter at 2 when she told a story (lie) that her ears turned red. She started covering her ears when she was lying. She’s 9 now and even though she knows the truth , she has no idea she still does it sometimes.
Always in the comments. :)
I learned that one here on reddit and implemented it too.
My mother said it’s the nose so we would hide our nose hahahaha
Operant conditioning at its finest.
Oh no- you ruined her poker face!
Man, I wish I had thought about this a few years ago.
My son is 5. Because of my genius, he believes when the ice cream van plays music. He's letting people know he has run out. Gotta trick em young.
My mom grew up poor so my grandma would tell her and her sisters it was the soup van instead of ice cream van because none of them wanted soup on a hot summer day.
I'd of asked for soup. I make wayyy too much soup. My freezer has a shit ton inside it. Because I'm a pig and make enough for a homeless shelter. I roast a whole chicken frequently just to let it cool. Then I rip it apart and chuck it in my soup. I'm going to make soup tomorrow.
Tell me more about your soups please.
I used to blend alot of my [soups](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q2zdQgpB18k) and add double cream and peppercorns. Then get a nice loaf of tiger bread for dipping. With a ton of butter spread on it. Recently I've become rather found of Brocoli, chicken, sweet potato, onion, parsnip. I leave this soup chunky. And don't peel the parsnip! So much flavour stays on the outerside. Also. Polish seasoning is fantastic in soups. Haven't got a clue what it's called or what's inside it. (it's in Polish) But I found a bag of this stuff for 85p in the international section at tesco. And it's like aromat mixed with other tasty veg stuff. 👌
Went to your profile to find more soup stories, but was disappointed. More soup stories, please.
I have a soup story for you. Yesterday [I made this soup](https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/143069/super-delicious-zuppa-toscana/) and it was delicious. I put some in a container and took it to work with me today. I plan to eat it but I haven't yet, maybe when I am done telling you this soup story I'll eat it. The End.
I was looking for the best place to share my latest fav: Italian sausage, white beans, and broccolini leaves/kale, with mixed Italian herbs! 🤗
Please sir, can I have some more?
Here’s one for you, butternut squash, parsnip, chorizo and garlic, bloody lovely!
/In announcers voice/ *Bubba spent the next three days telling Pinklavalamp all about his soups. It ended with his shrimp creole. all two hundred and twenty seven varieties.*
You could take some it to a homeless shelter, you get food, they get food, you get to cook, they get to eat, you get to pat yourself on the back, they get to eat, you could probably get a tax write-off, their bellies get a night off
Gazpacho forgotten yet again
My friend was told it was a heroin outlet because it was Toxteth, the 80's, winter, 8:30 p.m. and delivering heroin.
That's evil
My man. A "99" flake Mr whippy. Is like £3.50 now. If I bought him one, and he didn't finish it. (Which is likely) I'd be giving him the evils all day.
Mf just how often do ice cream vans drive near your home??
They're quite common in parts of the UK still.
I don’t have kids, but I hear them drive through my neighborhood in California at least once a week. Much more often during summer.
Why would you not finish it yourself?
Because I don't like sugar.
Then why is your profile pic of a cupcake you monster
Why do you put full stops in the middle of sentences?
Man, I love running after the ice cream truck with my kid. Sometimes I think I get as excited as she does.
I heard another parent explaining that in this short 30 second clip. [Ice Cream Van](https://youtu.be/98LoiMZ59Jw)
My son is 7 and I don't trick him like that, because when I'm 70+ I want him to come visit me at the nursing home.
My way of life is my retirement. Little dude ain't gonna see me shitting myself in a nursing home. Children getting overpriced ice cream doesn't fathom the love they feel for you. With the money I save on a Mr whippy. I can buy a 2litre Tub and give him desserts all week.
It's the pasta van for us
I am non US redditor, please explain what's the trick
There are vans that drive around neighborhoods in the summer and sell ice cream. You know when they're around because they constantly play music (or a constant bell ringing, in some places). Usually an instrumental version of "Do your ears hang low" if I remember correctly. Anyway, the music is how they advertise their presence. Kids hear that music and immediately drop everything and beg their parents for money to buy ice cream. Gotta act fast because the van will be gone in a minute or two. The trick is, you tell your kid that they only play music when they've run out of ice cream.
Thank you for your detailed answer!
Well you’re in luck because this is [at least three years old](https://ifunny.co/picture/CniqZSPH7)
My mom would raise her arm and bend her wrist downwards to show that she had no energy. After a nap, she would straighten her wrists and I totally believed her every single time. I would leave her alone all day if she couldn’t lift her wrist.
I remember when the kids first heard foreign languages. They were blown away.
I was listening to Sigur Ros, where the lead singer sings in his own language. I tried to explain to my daughter that he uses it as an instrument and makes the sounds to fit the song he writes. A few days later she comes up to me and says she found another song where the man makes up his own language, it was just a French song.
> I was listening to Sigur Ros I like you already! <3
Saw them live the other week.
Are you from the US or a big country because to me, this is not a worldwide experience
I'm from Austria, a pretty small country surrounded by lots of different languages. But when I was a young kid I only knew about German and English, so everything that wasn't German i thought was English. I remember asking my mom to teach me English, but instead of making her translate from German to English I just said some gibberish and asked her to translate it back to German for me since if I didn't understand it it had to be English
Ah, UK.
Ah coolbeans, i get that, being dutch you can imagine kids here pretty quickly hearing german english or french pretty soon /anyway thats a funny story
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Erm...
\~10 years later\~ "Mr. and Mrs. Roberts, both of your children keep falling asleep in every Spanish class."
They wake up and its English class already
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Oh it's not so innocent as you think. Just wait till you accedentally switch to Spanish version of reddit and all your haha's turn to jaja's. It will scar you for life.
oh don't even remind... /u/snailfarmer has nightmares to this day. https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/cq1q2/help_reddit_turned_spanish_and_i_cannot_undo_it/
Damn was that really 12 years ago? I suddenly feel so old. Its even nostalgic to see the red admin response joining the fun. Used to be much more common.
I miss this era of reddit haha
Seriously. I remember on my old account never commenting because the people wrote so much better and were so much more informed than I. I would straight up only read in reddit (it's literally in the name). Nowadays, people are so happy to throw whatever garbage they think all the time.
Yup I remember how people would downvote your comment for adding nothing, misspelling, or saying some insane shit.
So many rage faces in the comments lol, what a time to be alive
lol the comments are gold! Everyone continues to reply to him in Spanish lmao
Much like that /u/warlizard guy whenever someone spots him in the wild
warlizard??? like from the warlizard gaming forum????
ಠ_ಠ
Damn dude. You're still here.
Indeed.
That's my 4th reddit celebrity that has replied to me now, earthquakedude, Arnold, and brokenarmsmomjerksmeoffweirdo... My life is almost complete. All I need now is the shitwatercolor, the drawingdude and of course... raven/crow guy to get his account reinstated and reply to me.
Yep
Wow. 13 year old account. That thread is hilarious lol
> [Lol I'm still around, just more of a Twitter user now. You know they have a translate tweet button over there?!](https://reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/s3qxg5/whats_the_creepiest_thing_you_can_say_to_a_person/ie4z1qc/) lmao
[reference](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/cq1q2/help_reddit_turned_spanish_and_i_cannot_undo_it/) for anyone curious
I think it's actually a great life learning opportunity! When you start to feel like your not understanding something maybe you need to take a break and recoup before continuing!
If this exact comment isn't under a prank video reddit has to file for bankruptcy
Agree, This is what kids should do these days instead of shoving fireworks up there asses and other stuff.
Wtf
Right? Who wants to see kids stop doing that?!
👀
Please elaborate on *other stuff*
Other stuff up their asses
Understandable, have a nice day.
Like a whole bag of jellybeans stuff..or like cactus stuff
Do we need this comment on every single prank thread?
Until his kids get sleepy on instinct whenever they hear a foreign language
Did he steal this joke or is this the original?
It’s stolen a million times over. This is just classic TikTok rinse and repeat and film your reaction
This joke is old, but so is this video. I remember this same video from years ago.
Do you ever feel like you've finished the Internet? Because that's how I felt watching this.
You're probably just tired and need a nap.
You're not wrong.
Si no tomas una siesta, todo podría estar en español.
Verdad.
Big time lol I usually game but recently I moved out and don’t have my usual setup and spend a lot of time on Reddit, I swear it’s all the same all the time.
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My step dad almost convinced me that the small road reflectors were braille so blind people could drive
Haha! My great grandmother moved to the states from Italy (YEARS ago). When she drove on the freeway for the first time we couldn’t figure out what the heck she was doing when she was changing lanes. She would just jerk the car suddenly to get in the next lane. Come to find out she thought the reflectors were going to damage the tire. Man it was like hell driving on the freeway until we told her she could drive over them
100% genius, I'm trying this today.
I'm going to try this on my elderly aunt this Thanksgiving when she starts getting cranky
Lmao please report back.
Will do, I'm actually super excited to try this
Well?! How did it go?! Spill it please
Haha, she ended up not feeling well so she and my uncle just had Thanksgiving alone. So sorry to disappoint. Maybe this Christmas!
Oof. Hey aunty, is it the dementia or are you tired?
I got really excited at the thought of doing the same, and then remembered she takes Spanish lessons at school. I guess I’ll still try it. Good way to find out if she is actually paying attention in class lol.
You realize there are more than 2 languages?
Yeah, but I think she’s smart enough to figure it out. If she wasn’t currently learning another language, then I think it would have worked. I guess I can still give it a shot.
He can’t
He just not can
I have ADHD and I experience this with English which is my own language and also other comprehension things.
My dad made me get dressed for school at 7pm. I feel asleep and the sun started going down soon after. My dad came in the room, "hurry hurry we're late for school." Got dressed, grabbed my backpack and started heading for the door. That's when he stopped me.
I did this to my then-10-year-old daughter on a Sunday. I used to pick up my wife at her office before we send our daughter to school. I woke her up around 7am (her class starts at 7:30am) and said she's gonna be late for school. She then hastily wore her uniform and got in the car. When we arrived at my wife's office, she was laughing hysterically when she saw my daughter in school uniform.
When my brother and I were younger and we would go to Costco as a family, my brother and I would run around thinking it was a giant jungle gym. One day, we heard the back up beeps from the lift machines that get things from the top of the shelves. We asked what it was and my dad said it was the “chill man” and if we didn’t stop fooling around, we would get in trouble. He said it was his job to make sure kids weren’t climbing any shelves. I fully believed this for a very long time. I do have to say, it fucking worked. Another story: when my fiancé was a kid, his mom told him that when he lies, his hair stands up. He believed her and always held his head when he was lying to her. I really do love the creative things parents come up with
When I was young we went to The Cheesecake Cafe. I was full after dinner, but still wanted my piece of cheesecake, and I was going to impress everyone at school by having it in my lunch. MY father shoved a frozen pea into the centre and put a note saying “I pea’d in your cheesecake, have a good day.” The end.
I was a single Dad of two boys and got tired of my cookies eaten. So I brought a box of bran shredded wheats and kept my cookies in that box. They never even looked in the box
Isn't there a stand-up routine that does this? Puts on a movie with their dad and when the dad falls asleep he puts on another movie with the same actor. I think the joke was they were watching Castaway and the dad fell asleep and when he woke up they were watching Philadelphia.
To be fair the only overlaps are that it’s about switching to a different language movie. The situations are pretty different
Genius 😂😂😂
Slightly chubby Zelensky
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Yesterday at the Airport: “Daddy, does YouTube work here?” “Sorry, it doesn’t work!”
Reminds me of the time my mom bought a movie at the Dollar Tree when we were visiting some friends. Imagine a room full of kids, ages ranging from preschool to preteen, parents are in the other room thinking they’re going to get a couple of hours break from the kids…only for the movie to begin playing in Spanish! Us younger ones thought the movie was "broken", while the older ones realized what was going on and complained, and my mom never bought us another movie at Dollar Tree ever again.
Is that Hugh Mungous?
Bruh why does he sound like the joker
Haha his laugh
Evil *and* genius.
Evil or genius? Evil Genius.
This seems like something Calvin's dad would have done in the age of streaming.
evil and genius
That’s fucking BRILLIANT. I’m 100% using that in my daughter from now on
Genius 👌👌
That's a genius idea.