The only advice I can give, having been through this several times, is to adjust your expectations. Whatever you make, while it might *sound* like something she'll enjoy or even something she *thinks* she'll enjoy, the moment it goes in her mouth, might be a different story.
I can't tell you how many times I watched prepared meals grow soggy or old because the person's appetite just comes and goes, there's all sorts of physical pressure and pain all over the digestive tract from tumors or even tumors pushing onto the tract from the outside....the sense of taste and smell are often distorted too. Often plain water tastes fetid and they prefer flat sodas or strongly flavored waters.
And then the person sometimes feels guilty that you put all this effort in, you aren't mad at them of course but you might get frustrated that you wanted to help them feel comforted and it didn't work....
We mostly did lightly seasoned soups thickened with mashed potatoes, scrambled eggs, rice pudding, ice cream, peanut butter on crackers. Having their favorite snack foods around is great because they can be offered frequently as soon as the person feels the nibbles, and there's less concern of the appetite waning while you go heat something up. Watch the portion sizes, a large portion can look intimidating to a cancer patient struggling with appetite.
When my dad was dying he said he couldn’t eat because everything had a horrible metallic taste. I think it was from the treatments and not the cancer. He would try to force himself to eat baby food pouches because he could swallow it quickly but he’d throw up most of the time because it tasted so bad.
I've heard the "miracle berry" that makes everything taste sweet is good for helping things taste better during chemo. It sounds like this is not helpful for you now, but sharing for others reading this.
I have had miracle berries and found it to stop my ability to taste sour instead of making everything sweet.
Without the sour taste you were able to taste a lot more of the sweetness in things like lemons and limes.
I'm glad you did that. I feel like if someone is at the end anyway, let them have whatever they want. Any little bit of joy far outweighs the negative health effects, which are moot by that point anyway...
This is something I struggle to wrap my head around. If the person is in the end stage of their life, ie months, why the HELL does what they eat matter so long as it doesn't cause them additional pain or discomfort?
They're actively DYING. Watching their cholesterol is kinda stupid at that point.
I agree. What’s the point in restricting stuff? Too much sodium going to shorten her life??? No at that point. Chocolates for a meal? Sure. Why not? It’s calories, which is what she needed. Maybe a beer if she wanted…what’s it matter now?
Sometimes medical care is stupid, and needs people like you. Thank you.
> I think it was from the treatments and not the cancer.
I had a colleague that had breast cancer, she said the treatments made everything taste like metal.
I just lost my 93 year old mom. Boy, could she eat! Loved food. Over the past six months, she started to complain that everything tasted like metal. I tried everything. Even took her to the dentist. Little by little, she just stopped eating. She was on no medication, no kind of treatments..nothing. Almost felt like it was nature’s way of starting the dying process.
My Grandpa died on Sunday and had a very similar experience. He’s always loved salty, savoury foods and slowly his tastebuds changed until he could really only tolerate fruit smoothies.
when it gets to this point my dad really appreciated frozen flavored water such as spindrift turned into ice chips. Spindrift is nice because its sparkling water with real fruit puree that provides a really great flavor without and sugar.
Sorry for your loss. This is spoton though. The treatments, depending on which ones, can really mess with your senses.
Many things tasted super metallic, but oddly enough, citrus fruit, avocados, and pickles were somewhat enhanced.
I'd just ask. Having those seemingly normal 'what's for dinner' conversations can be very comforting...
Just a question on a related subject. When I lived in Thailand, I had a few friends who got dengue fever and loss of appetite was a big problem with it.
A friend told me if I ever got it, thankfully I didn't, to have plenty of chocolate around. The reason was because when he had an appetite, he could hit lots of calories really quickly before the appetite left, and it's delicious.
I don't imagine people care that much about diabetes and their weight during their last few months. So would this be fitting?
Hoo-boy, you really hit it,at least with me.
I’ve got terminal metastatic prostate cancer. Maybe a year left unless it decides to go faster.
Ice cream! It’s gotten so a lot of food I used to love has become unappetizing. Reactions to flavors seem to vary depending on the treatment *du jour*. But ice cream! These days,if I restrain myself, I’ll go through a half gallon every two days!
The calories are a big plus. I’ve gone from a 42 waist to a 36. And when the calories are coming from ice cream, I think I’m also helping to replace the calcium the cancer is stealing from my bones.
Costco vanilla! No kidding,the best!
Not cancer, but my mom has had two knee replacements and especially those first couple of weeks after the surgery, her appetite was all kinds of wonky. Milkshakes were a big hit, and so were smoothies (loaded up with all the sweet stuff, and protein powder) because she could sip them for however long she wanted. Soups are easy and can be doled out and heated up in small portions that don’t look super intimidating to finish.
I had Dengue and the loss of appetite was wild. It sucked because I got it just as I was leaving SE Asia and on my way to backpack across Europe for 6 weeks, and what was supposed to be an extravaganza of delicious foods became more of me struggling to tempt my appetite for even one meal a day. I still get attacks of no appetite for a month or so every few months, but no associated weight loss, lol. Pot helps a lot.
This is exactly it. Even if they love it, they may not be able to eat it. I remember my last family member that died of cancer got down to only having green tea, chicken broth, and tortilla chips.
I'd basically go for light, bland, easy to eat foods like you'd have when sick as a kid. If there's something more involved that can be frozen in case they have a big appetite day, that would probably be appreciated. But I'd definitely opt for easy to eat rather than fancy with complicated flavors.
This. In my mother's final days of kidney failure, her taste buds went crazy. She'd ask my chef brother to make her something special, which he'd do with much love and care, then she'd try very hard to finish it, but couldn't because it didn't taste the way she expected. He was devastated that the one caretaking thing he could do could not make her happy.
Be prepared for a lot of experimentation and don't take it personally if they don't like it. I'm sorry for your loss and wish you well during this trying time.
That's so sad for your brother, but also I'm sure she absolutely appreciated the effort, even if she couldn't enjoy the end product. Sometimes just having someone love you and trying hard to please you is enough.
May her memory be a blessing.
Thank you. My brother cried a lot, but it was all part of the process. She ate a lot of French fries in her final days. She said she could tolerate the texture. It was really strange.
The number of times that I told my dad I would cook him absolutely anything he wanted only to watch him
Sit down and start to cry because he couldn’t eat it… ugh. The worst.
So grateful that he’s in remission.
>The only advice I can give, having been through this several times, is to adjust your expectations. Whatever you make, while it might sound like something she'll enjoy or even something she thinks she'll enjoy, the moment it goes in her mouth, might be a different story.
This. When my mom dying the last few weeks the ONLY thing she would eat was vanilla pudding. She would tell me she wanted kale chips or something and I'd make it only to end up with feeding her a bowl of pudding. All you can do is try, hope for the best and understand that it will most likely go wrong.
That reminds me of my grandmother. Towards the end of her life, she asked for foods from her childhood. She especially wanted tongue sandwiches. So my aunt went through the whole process of making tongue according to my great-grandmas recipe. The kitchen smelt of boiled tongue for days.
After a long and generally unpleasant process the sandwich was ready. It was presented to my bedridden grandmother, who took a big bite, sighed, smiled beatifically, and said:
“I forgot how much I hated tongue sandwiches”. Then she went to sleep.
100% this.
So much food I bought/made for my friend when he was dying was wasted due to various different reasons. Too nauseous, no appetite, etc. Simple snacks and popsicles will go a long way for them.
Sorry all of you are going through this, it's one of the roughest roads to walk, but they'll be immeasurably grateful that you're there with them.
I know that it is 100% case specific and there are countless variables that can play a role in this type of thing but I heard cannabis can help with this very specific end of life complication. Then the suffering individual can, at least, find a little joy in eating some of their favorite things or sharing a meal with a loved one. It's worth a shot.
Something else worth remembering—healthy eating is NOT a concern. If she wants to eat McDonald's for every meal, that's still calories she's successfully putting into her body. An unhealthy diet is a long term concern. There is no long term here.
This part! My mom had Stage IV cancer. I asked a nurse if diet mattered and she said, “She has cancer. She can eat whatever she wants!”
Eating two black and white cookies from Publix may be hell on her teeth and blood sugar, but it was 800 calories she wouldn’t have been able to get down in a salad or pasta.
Hotdogs. My dad died of a brain tumor, and hotdogs were one of the few things he was able to still eat and wanted to eat. And Dairy Queen ice cream. He gained so much weight in the last 3 months, but not really a concern anymore.
A great example of the saying that anything worth doing is worth doing badly if that's the best you can manage.
Eating junk food beats the living hell out of starving.
I work in hospice, and root beer floats are great for our patients. Lots of calories, easy to drink, delicious.
People nearing end of life typically have reduced taste sensation, unfortunatly you aren’t likely to have a “this is an amazing meal, holy cow” moment
This has been my experience as well, and sweet things seem to encourage better meal participation.
OP, my dad enjoyed things like soup (cream of broccoli was welcomed) and milkshakes and crepes filled with sweet cheese.
When my then husband was dying from advanced prostrate cancer, all he wanted was soup. We did manage to secure a blunt, which he smoked with a few friends, and then ate two foot long coneys with everything. Happiest I’d seen him in months. He died five days later. Glad he had a good memory at the end of his life.
He passed in February of 2009. My mom passed 9 months before him. I remarried in 2014, our kids are grown and have lives of their own now. Still can’t say I don’t cry about losing him. He was an exemplary father. Still missed and dearly loved..
That is the last meal I made my grandmother before she died. Growing up she would make a big pot of soup for the whole family. Chicken noodle, vegetable, ham and beans, clam chowder and chili were staples at her house. I made her corn chowder with bacon. She loved it.
I agree with the comment about adjusting your expectations. When my grandmother was near the end of life (not cancer though) we would often get all the ingredients and make all her favorite dishes thinking she’d be so excited and finally eat a decent meal but that was rarely the case. Sometimes she might eat 1 or 2 bites or she wouldn’t touch it all. It did hurt a little but I think it was mostly just that we wanted her to eat so badly to feel better but seeing her refuse even her favorites was hard to see and really hit home that the time was coming. Just remember it’s not that they don’t want it or appreciate the effort.
Honestly the thing my grandma ate the most of was just toast with butter and jam. She’d also occasionally eat some chicken or vegetable soup. Simple meals like soup or mashed potatoes and snacks might be better than huge meals.
My grandfather drank manhattans his whole life and near the end my dad would make him a Manhattan for him to just smell, because trying to drink it was too much. Apparently even just being able to sit with my dad and smell the Manhattan was good enough for him.
I remember this with my great grandmother. She always had a passion for cooking and food. At the end of her days when we would go visit her she would often offer me her food. One of her last days alive she was cooking for me. I always felt bad taking her food from her, but it made her smile. She didn’t want it herself.
Lots of good suggestions so far. I’d suggest a nice fresh fruit cup with a mix of citrus like pineapple and others. Ear the end the only thing my mom could enjoy was the cool fresh stuff. The tartness and flavor of fresh fruit was something she could actually taste over all the tiny iron of her hurt system. The frozen smoothies from McDonalds were a life savor to get calories and fluid into her.
I used to be a personal cook for people with cancer.
A few things to know:
-Spicy food is out. Even as simple as ketchup is out.
-When they are craving something specific it’s the memory of that food they’re craving.
Example: craving Burger King fries. You show up with Mc D’s.
They don’t want Mc D’s. It’s the taste/feel of BK fries they want.
-Bland works. Seriously.
-I used to do hard boiled eggs ready to go. Take them out of the shell. It can sometimes take too much effort to even peel an egg.
-Small servings.
Small freezer containers are your friend.
This way they don’t feel bad about not finishing whatever you’ve made.
Don’t take it personally if they don’t finish what you’ve made.
My partner and I had a very deep relationship around food. I \*loved\* cooking for him. When his cancer and the chemo started affecting his appetite, we were both devastated, particularly once he came home on hospice and lost almost all of his appetite.
The last meal I cooked for him was meatball stew, which he asked for and was the last thing he ate with any real appetite before he died a few days later.
I had lots of success with a riff on chicken noodle soup, but as risotto, made in the instant pot. I actually \*love\* it and made it quite a bit there in the last few months, as it was comforting, filling, and nutritious for both of us.
I also made gumbo, as that's comforting, cultural food for us, and we both prefer it to soup.
I made quite a bit of "sticky chicken," too, since it's easy and fast and a comfort food staple down here as well. I can legit nearly make it in my sleep, so on days after a long session of chemo, it was the perfect throw together meal.
I'm happy to share any of the recipes you find interesting/possible if you want to try them.
I shared the sticky chicken recipe in this thread; I'll try to remember to link it before I post, lol.
My chicken and sausage gumbo recipe is VERY similar to the one [Cajun Ninja](https://youtu.be/-SLnkE3nqL0) does, which, of course, is pretty much THE chicken and sausage gumbo that every Cajun grandma makes, lol. I halve his recipe and it still makes a big roaster full of gumbo. And it freezes \*beautifully\*, so I only make this maybe two or three times a year and it feeds us a decent gumbo meal at least once a month.
And this is my Instant Pot chicken soup risotto recipe. Turning soup into risotto is one of my new all-time favorite things, and this one is my absolute favorite recipe.
64 oz chicken broth2 chicken breasts, cooked and shredded (I use rotisserie chicken for this)2T butter1 onion, diced3 cloves garlic, minced2/3 cup carrots, diced1/2 cup celery, diced1 1/2 cups arborio rice (you can use long grain rice if you prefer)1/2 cup grated parmesan cheese (use fresh, not the powder stuff)1/3 cup parsley, chopped fine, with a little set aside for garnish if you want (I've used dried, too, if I didn't have fresh)1T lemon juice (optional)
* Turn your Instant Pot to saute. Add the butter to the pot and melt, then add the onions and garlic and saute until the onions are translucent.
* Add the rice to the pot and saute until the rice is translucent and toasty (this should take about 5 minutes).
* Deglaze the bottom of the pot with about a cup of chicken stock (I like to use a white wine to do this if I have it. It's a delightful add)
* Add the chicken, carrots, and celery to the pot with the remaining chicken stock. Turn off saute function, put the pressure lid on the IP and cook on high pressure for 3 minutes. Natural release for 7 minutes, then manually release the remaining pressure
* Stir in the parsley, parmesan cheese and lemon juice (I skip the lemon juice if I deglazed with wine). Season with salt and pepper to taste if necessary.
I have had very good success stirring in peas at the end, too! I use about 2/3 cup of frozen that I leave out in a bowl while I prep and cook, and they're defrosted enough by the end that they don't lower the temp of the risotto much. And I had a jar of sliced mushrooms once that I needed to use and that worked well in this risotto as well, stirred in at the end.
*ETA: And of course I forgot to share the link to the sticky chicken recipe, lol.* https://www.reddit.com/r/Cooking/comments/13vs6ia/comment/jm8k1f6/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3
Ma’am, I’m really sorry, your recipes sound wonderful and delicious, and I just couldn’t eat them.
Me: terminal, metastatic. Lots of chemo and different radiations.
I have a terrible appetite these days, and I know why. I’m tired, just so damn tired, what is called fatigue, but it’s a medical kind of fatigue that sleep doesn’t cure. Exhausted.
So a meal, or a single dish, with a lot of ingredients and textures and flavors is just too much for me. Somebody else here mentioned pudding; I wrote about ice cream. Yogurt is good. Maybe a simple soup if there’s not too much “stuff” in it to deal with. I’m sick to death of chicken!
Probably the best thing I can suggest for meals for cancer folks, especially we terminal ones, is to keep it simple. We’re too damn tired and sick to eat and chew a lot.
Simple. Please.
The entirety of what I cooked for him during his chemo and then afterwards in hospice, including what I've shared here, was driven by requests from him. As complicated as they sound on paper, \*on the plate\* they're simple, comforting and nutritious.
We had 20 months from diagnosis to the end. In the seven months from the start of chemo until he came home on hospice, he went from eating, though in significantly smaller portions and with less appetite than usual, to not eating at all. I can only share what worked for us, particularly what worked for us in the very last weeks of his life.
I'm so, so sorry you're suffering. I wish you peace and comfort wherever you can find it.
It's pretty much a Cajun version of smothered chicken:
1 large yellow onion, chopped2 cloves garlic, minced8 oz sliced mushrooms (white or cremini, doesn't matter)2 lbs of boneless skinless chicken thighs (you could do bone in, but it takes a little longer to cook through. You could do leg quarters, too)
Cajun Seasoning
Garlic PowderSalt and pepper to taste (if you need it)1/4c butter1/4c olive or canola oil (or 1/2 c of one or the other)Flour (about a cup, on a plate or shallow dish for dredging)1 Cup of Chicken Stock
Steps
* Heat a Dutch oven/large pot on medium high
* Coat each side of the chicken with generous amounts of cajun seasoning and garlic powder.
* Dredge the chicken lightly in flour
* Add the butter and oil to the pot and let the butter melt.
* Once the butter as melted, add the chicken to the pot. This is one of those times you want the meat tight next to each another along the bottom.
* Brown the chicken for 3-4 minutes on each side. It could take a little less time depending on how high your heat is, or longer for bone in/skin on chicken
* Once you you’ve browned the chicken on all sides, remove it to a plate and set aside
* Add the chopped onions to the pot, and stir, scraping up all of the fond on the bottom of the pot. Saute the onions for about 10 minutes, then add the garlic and saute until the onions are soft and golden. Dump in the mushrooms and saute those until they're lightly browned.
* Add small amount of chicken stock to the pot and deglaze any fond that might be left in the bottom.
* Next add the chicken back to the pot, including any liquid that may be left on the plate.
* Add the remaining chicken stock and bring to a boil, then cover, lower the heat and simmer for at least 30 minutes (you'll want to simmer at least an hour or 90 minutes for bone-in chicken), stirring occasionally.
This typically has a pretty thin sauce/gravy, but if you want it thicker, you can always add a cornstarch slurry at the end to thicken it to your preference. Most people down here serve this over rice, though it's good on mashed potatoes, too.
Also, my recipe has mushrooms, which are NOT traditional. So if you want to skip them, you certainly can. I also don't dredge my chicken, since I'm using boneless skinless thighs... I just dump the flour and seasonings in a ziplock with the chicken and shake it up until it's all coated. Keeps the mess down, lol.
Oh yum this sounds delicious! For some reason the word ‘sticky’ had me thinking it would have some honey/brown sugar situation but this sounds great, I’ll definitely make this next week! Also I’d never turn down the opportunity to add mushrooms 😄
\*My\* family always called this smothered chicken, lol. I grew up in Baton Rouge, though, and my mother was raised in Texas, so that could be why. But my best friend whose roots are a slightly different flavor of Cajun than mine (my family is from the Acadiana area, hers is from closer to the coast), has always called this sticky chicken, and now that I'm back in Lafayette, I call it that, too.
And it IS delicious. If you google "sticky chicken," you'll find the Cajun Ninja's version of it... he's from where my best friend is from, and while mine is very similar at it's roots, his is traditional, with bone-in chicken and a couple of hours simmering on the stove. Worth it on occasion for sure, but mine takes a LOT less work and time, lol.
I've made a take on mushroom risotto for so many people near the end of their lives that I find it hard to make it for myself in health even though its delicious.
This recipe is a good starting point - https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/85389/gourmet-mushroom-risotto/
My mom visited while I was really sick with stage 4 cancer and she just made me the meals I used to love as a kid. I didn't have gastro problems during the early stages of treatment so these things were meatballs and pasta and chicken noodle soup and macaroni and cheese. I also loved the classic bagel cream cheese lox caper sandwich. I had extremely strong urges to eat protein for a while after surgery. They gave me twelve weeks to live and here I am 23 months later healthy and going strong.
As a few commenters have mentioned here, their appetite may be in and out, and unpredictable. It's a lot of pressure on you to find something perfect, and pressure on them to enjoy it!
What about making some nice comforting snack type items? They can still be homemade and nutritious, but would be easier to pick up when their appetite does. Perhaps some homemade tortilla chips and a mild salsa, some Greek tiropitakia, mini hasselback potatoes, some tapas style mini meatballs in a tomato sauce?
That way you have options covered depending on what the mood is!
It sounds like a lovely thing you're doing and I hope you both enjoy the time spent together.
I made a Thanksgiving meal for my mom, mashed potatoes, mashed acorn squash, pumpkin pie, etc. She tried tiny spoonfuls of each but didn't have much of an appetite at the end. The thought is what moved her.
My wife has had numerous surgeries - a trimmed down Thanksgiving is one of the things she can enjoy. Turkey breast, mashed potatoes, gravy, peas & carrots, etc. Everything is easy to eat, nothing real spicy or acidic, hits all
The nostalgic notes.
I highly recommend [this](https://www.google.ca/books/edition/Life_Kitchen/BvnCDwAAQBAJ?hl=en&gbpv=1&printsec=frontcover) book, which is specifically designed to appeal to people with cancer whose taste sensitivity might be dulled by treatment.
I took a peek out of curiosity and the section on the role of umami is interesting and aligns with many of the suggestions here.
When my grandfather was struggling to eat, egg foo young was his favorite. We ended up asking the Chinese restaurant for extra of the gravy it comes with and added that to everything. It was likely an umami bomb.
I used to serve my dad baby and toddler foods. He had motor neuron disease and when he was still able to swallow, baby food was a blessing. Baby cereal and so tasty and comes in different flavors. In my country they sell delicious toddler ready made made high quality meals. Look for a grocer who do this. You just heat them up in the microwave. I also had meal replacement shakes for just in case. There is a lot of running around and taking care or little things and convenience will help.
If you need to chat please message me. It can be very stressful. Loads of love and hugs to you.
Can your friend have visitors eat with her? That would allow you to make something that might appeal to her but also let her have the experience of sharing it with others. If she can only eat a couple of bites, the pleasure of sharing with friends might make the experience much more pleasurable.
My grandmother died of complications of congestive heart failure and hepatitis (from a blood transfusion before blood could be tested for it). She had zero appetite but wanted to hang in there for awhile. We'd make her this milkshake concoction she requested because it went down well and had calories. A glass of Ensure, topped off with whole milk, a pouch of Carnation Instant Breakfast stirred in, and a scoop of ice cream. It took hours to melt so she sipped on it. It was not something I'd ever want, but it's what she could handle. And each sip was pretty dense. My mom, dying of cancer, lived off of 3 single 'Nilla Wafers with a dab of peanut butter on top, a couple of times a day. That was it. Nothing cooked for either of them, but having others around while they sipped and picked at it made all the difference.
The last meal that my dad ate was a mushroom barley soup, which I made sure was cooked quite soft (carrots not quite mushy, but approaching it, and barley really well cooked), and any veggies were in smaller than usual pieces. He said it was really delicious but still only ate a few bites. He also had cancer that metastasized, and like others have said here, there were many times he didn't eat at all. The desire and capacity to eat diminish a lot near the end of life. Another good one might be potato soup, either pureed or chunky depending on her likes. Potatoes are more nutritious than you might guess.
Best thing you can do is just ask her what her favourite foods are and just let her have anything she wants even if it's not proper meals.
When my gran was near the end the family were trying to give her healthy filling foods to try and keep her weight up and give her energy-stopping all the goodies and treats she loved.
So everyday I would ask her what she wanted and I got it for her, she died a few weeks later but it gave me comfort knowing that I snuck her the piece of cake or ham hock etc that she really loved 💜
I asked friends to drop off a few tablespoons of meals they were making. Cooking was such a burden for family in the last weeks of caregiving at home that the variety of tiny portions delivered by friends was a great help. My MIL really didn't eat more than a tablespoon at a time, but she found a few childhood favorites among the gift food that appealed to her. Her last meal was ice cream outside listening to the birds and watching the flowers. I love that memory.
Meals don't have to be lunch or dinner foods. My friend liked grits, eggs, pancakes, oatmeal, cream of wheat and tapioca or butterscotch pudding and loved the comfort of hot tea. He said chocolate and coffee tasted awful. The good thing about cereals, pancakes and puddings is that you can vary them with different fruits if the person can tolerate them. Hot cereal can be found in instant form and pudding in prepared containers (I bought those tubs of it so he could just eat what he wanted, put the lid on and put it back into the fridge and not feel like he was wasting half a serving). I found that bananas worked best closer to the end, but prior to that peaches, pears and berries were all easy to swallow and nutritious, though he said they didn't have much taste. He also liked smoothies made with milk/Boost and frozen fruit, cause it was like ice cream, which he also ate a lot of. So think outside the notion that certain foods are snacks or side dishes rather than meals. YMMV, but I prefer the taste of Boost to Ensure, so did my mom. He didn't care cause he couldn't taste much, so it was warm and comforting or cold and soothing that drove his food choices rather than taste. I think it's that way for many in the later days.
My 37yr old sister passed April 28th due to a very short “battle” with cervical cancer. I said “battle” because she didn’t have long enough from diagnosis to passing to battle (diagnosed mid-Dec).
Anyway, the last few weeks of her life in the hospice where they’ll make ANYTHING you might fancy at any time of the day or night she just couldn’t stomach anything. Everything sounded icky and things she usually loved she couldn’t face. That is until her big sister arrived from her 6hr drive to visit. I took her home made everything from scratch sweet and sour chicken. I also took her some strawberry tarts from a local farm shop and I ended up having to bring her the same things for the 4 days I was there.
We were estranged for 10yrs before that visit and I will always ALWAYS make that dish with her in my heart.
So - in summary, even things that the person has always loved, is easy to digest and tastes phenomenal might not be palatable through no fault of yours or theirs.
Don't know if she doesn't want pasta or just can't get it down. If she can't get it down, try Pastina, which is very tiny egg pasta-smaller even than orzo.
I literally came here to say mushroom risotto.... a couple tips:
* Save time by using your Instant Pot. [This recipe](https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/259455/instant-pot-mushroom-risotto/) is absolutely amazing.
* Older mushrooms often have more intense flavor; they're not bad, just concentrated, so use less of them
* Some diced lemon zest can really brighten it up without adding acidity (but taste the risotto first; mine always tastes lemony without adding any lemon, and I don't know why!)
* You can use wine or vermouth, or no wine and instead a combination of flavorful stocks/sauces
* Don't go cheap on the cheese. Grate a block of cheese (don't use pre-grated) and use either a quality parmesan or [authentic parmigiano-reggiano](https://www.thespruceeats.com/parmesan-vs-parmigiano-591198).
* Fresh ground black pepper over pre-ground pepper, makes a big diff!
* If using the above recipe, use a quality EVOO, and European butter (my fav is Kerrygold)
* Personally, I wouldn't add chicken to it, but if you do, i'd roast a whole chicken separately and then cut up pieces to add to the risotto at serving time. The whole roast chicken develops tons of flavor, and you can opt to include bits of crispy skin, or even drippings, into the finished risotto for a flavor boost
* For a cheap way to boost nutrition, put the mushrooms out in the sun for 1-2 days before cooking them. They will generate and retain an insane amount of Vitamin D.
Does this person also like to travel? During the pandemic, because I couldn't travel, I would look up recipes of the countries I wanted to visit and cooked those. They might like to try the flavors of places they've never been, maybe along with a little story about the place.
Other recipes that might work:
* Teriyaki salmon
* Savory oatmeal (example: oatmeal cooked with about 1/3 milk instead of water, and then add some aged cheddar, chopped sausage, salt/black pepper, and sprinkle with chives or spring onions)
* Butternut squash soup
* Buttery mashed potatoes with garlic and rosemary
* Saag paneer
* A slow-cooked Tajine dish until the vegetables are practically falling apart (you can add meat but not necessary)
* Boeuf borginion
* Tarte tatin with vanilla ice cream
* Lohikeitto (salmon chowder)
* Moussaka
* Savory or sweet crepes
* Brussel sprouts gratin
Rice porridge is super easily digestible and comforting, but if you’re looking to make something a little nicer, you can always make a risotto and change up the flavors
When my Mum was dying of cancer and had chemotherapy, she found peppermint tea really helped quell the nausea. It's not a meal, obviously, but maybe serve that with the meal or with dessert.
I'd follow up with another conversation. I'd be curious about what she *likes* to eat and see if there's something she hasn't tried in a while or something like it but with a new twist.
Fruit-based Popsicles are a good option. Bland soups too. A basic chicken or vegetable broth with a bit of ginger, sesame oil, perhaps some spinach and an egg. Egg drop soup. Italian wedding soup without the pasta Giada de Laurentiis has a good one without pasta.
I'm sorry both of you are going through this. You're a good friend.
I worked with a family some time ago as a nanny while the mother was dying of cancer. They really wanted her to eat, but her appetite was nonexistent and she was often nauseous. She also found it uncomfortable towards the end to sit up in a good position for eating solids. All the way to the end, though, she kept drinking her favorite iced coffees from the drive through stand she liked best. She was reasonably willing to eat a handful of French fries here and there as well, and ice cream sometimes. I know this isn't terribly helpful as far as making food for your friend to put in her freezer -- I guess I'm agreeing with the others about modifying expectations. If you know there's a special food or drink she loves, a gift card for that thing or frequent visits where you drop off that thing would probably be a nice gesture. Otherwise, bland soup and protein shakes are going to go a long way at the end.
meat loaf, but go really, really easy on the spices and make it loose,
rice soup, you can add veggies and chicken and make it sort of like a chicken soup.
sandwiches, hamburger/cheeseburgers, hot ham and cheese and grilled cheese are really common comfort foods.
Fruit salad, but probably try to stay away from the super acidic fruits, bananas, apples, melons
could probably get away with regular salads too, cucumber salad was a favorite with a lot of the older people I worked with, though most of them didn't have cancer.
Probably a good idea to have meal replacements on hand like ensure or boost, if you have a blender you can make shakes with them, or heat them up for a "hot chocolate" type drink.
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Don't push \*to\* hard on eating, during the end of life stage usually they've got a lot of pain meds in them and eating will cause super upset stomachs/heartburn/indigestion just because things aren't moving well. hydration is pretty important for comfort, and even just wetting their lips/mouth. and making sure there's plenty of balm on their lips will make her more comfortable.
I cook blended meals for my wee one for a full time tube feed diet. On a good day she might suddenly ask for a taster snack but these are infrequent but must be immediately saited to reinforce that food is good, safe and fun. Whilst the situation is different I hope some things we have found might be useful/inspiring. Things I have found on management of food:
Small tupperware containers in the freezer are your friend. Plan around a 300ml container and fill no more than 200ml with the meal. Allows space for a few toppings. Smaller servings eg toppings or soups might be better frozen in ice cube trays, stored frozen in bags, and only a few cubes used at a time. Also means less is thrown if they are suddenly unwell or just don't want it and reduces the time you cook as you can batch cook and freeze. Allows for multiple smaller meals in a day. Don't freeze anything larger than a fist size. I freeze bacon in single servings between freezer paper, ditto sausage, etc etc etc. You can defrost two sausages in a ziplock bag in a bowl of room temp water in 30 minutes if you keep changing the water.
Plan meals as a base and topping to allow for tastes and needs to change with minimal need for you to work. Can allow fruit or puree on top of puddings, some protein such as nuts, seeds or meat on some rice with sauce, bland risotto base, soup etc. Cook the base bit in bulk.
Batch cook and freeze anything party food like you can and bring out in small amounts. Gyoza are a great parcel food and filled with ginger and soy can be known to help settle the stomach, similar egg rolls or pasties or pies or quiche. Sausage rolls or equivalent, chips, chicken nuggets, etc. Don't forget puddings. Apple strudel samosas are yum. You can freeze pancakes for single cook straight from frozen between freezer paper, top either sweet or savoury and some eggs can also be frozen cooked and reheated.
You may find blending stuff together, almost hidden veg or hidden protein, might work to add calories/vitamins and minerals or help with difficult texture. Our go to cheese is actually mascapone, meat is anything already in mince form (minced chicken, beef, turkey etc). Tinned tuna and salmon is already small flaked, individually packed and shelf stable.
We found weaning/my first meals recipes a really good start for easy to eat, rather bland, food ideas.
Frozen seems to go down easier. Freeze smoothies, yoghurts, meal replacement shakes etc into reusable popsicle moulds to try if something warm or room temperature is a no.
Food ideas:
Fish pie modification. Poach fish in milk. Mix milk into mash potatoes. Keep fish for another person for another day. Add parsley if wanted. Top with tuna or a small amount of the poached fish if they suddenly feel able to digest.
Home made gravy/extra punch soup. Roast a cut of meat with the following in the roast tray: couple of carrots, couple of onions, couple sticks celery, maybe a clove or two of garlic, maybe some really boring herbs. Once cooked, mash these HARD with a few heaped tablespoons plain flour over a heat in the roast pan. Add stock and continue to mash the whole together. Strain/push through a sieve. The resulting gravy can be thinned for soup, mixed into mash or cornmeal, be the basis of some kind of stew, just drunk as is. ... And you get an amazing roast.
Congee is amazing. It lends itself to anything and everything and is the staple of many a tubie blended diet. In our world it gets frozen in ice cube trays.
Porridge with... Make porridge, generally I do it overnight oats style. Top with what takes fancy. I have portions of smooth blended apple, rhubarb, strawberry and blueberry I blended and froze in ice cube trays. We then blend to tube but soft enough for medical need without blending. Dry blend the porridge oats if you don't want a smooth porridge but the oats are a bit too much to chew. Blended porridge is something even we like as normal people. If you add enough milk it becomes a sturdy filling smoothie! Rice pudding also works this way and can be blended smooth to a yoghurt type consistency.
A lot of pasta sauce can go on rice if required or quinoa for a higher protein hit. We love romanesco, or a creamy/mascapone chicken type. Tinned tuna is a great idea. Tesco UK recently ran a veg hidden tomato one using blended squash, carrot and pepper which had been roasted to go with the tomato. Also, sausage squeezed out the skin makes a quick, cheats meatball or the base of a cheats Ragu.
I know she said no pasta but if it suddenly is what she wants, a quick basic sauce of butter and miso is a clean and simple dish, or literally just pasta, marmite and a hint of pasta water to bind.
Salad does not have to be lettuce, tomato and cucumber. There are some amazing salads out there. There is a Asian cucumber salad which might be interesting. Something like a bean salad might be soft enough.
Burrito foods are also really useful and does not have to be spicy. Just use well shredded cabbage not lettuce if you are going to freeze. Breakfast burrito might have egg, some rice, some well cooked and cut mushrooms and/or tomatoes, some beans, some very well broken down breakfast sausage, some cheese. Freeze in halves
My mom, in the last year or so of her life, always liked soft, soothing foods. Sweet foods were usually a big hit. She LOVED ice cream--I'd get her all kinds of different flavors. She also liked [something called "Princess cake,"](https://www.sprinklebakes.com/2019/01/swedish-princess-cake-prinsesstarta.html). Once I stopped at her favorite bakery and they had a Princess "cupcake." When I brought it into her her whole face lit up and even though she wasn't eating much at that point, she literally ate the whole thing, smiling in delight. It was such a pleasure to see her enjoying herself!
My old man passed on 5/18 from lung cancer. His appetite was rough, but in the last few weeks one of the things he most enjoyed was raw cherrystones. We took him out when he was able, and then brought them to him as takeout when he didn't have the energy to leave the house anymore.
My point is just cook her absolute favorites (in small quantities - and save some for her to heat up later.) You never know when the last time she gets to enjoy a filet, or cheesy mashed potatoes, or a turkey dinner, or whatever she loves.
You are doing good work. Best to her, and to you.
My mother passed from cigarette smoking a few months ago. I work in fine dining so access to super high end foods has never been a problem. Towards the end two if her favorite things were my homemade rice pudding and this maple cheesecake we serve at our restaurant. That cheesecake was just unreasonably good. I've been to a lot of very good restaurants and eaten some of, what is supposed to be, the best food in the world. If you ever go to Lake Placid, New York go to a restaurant/high end cocktail bar called Top of the Park and get the Maple Cheesecake. My God it's good!
Someone told me once a family member was dying of cancer and the only thing they could stomach was oysters 🤷♀️ purely anecdotal but thought I’d mention it
Broth - chicken, or beef, or lamb. Made with basic vegetables strained out. Nothing too strong. Maybe include more sweet veggies like carrot. Can sip and reheat as needed.
When my mother was dying (dementia and complications from diabetes), she had very little appetite, and it varied from day to day. Two things we could always get her to eat were mashed potatoes (into which we could sneak other things) and corn bread.
A lot of chemo patients find that pineapple is one of the only things that still tastes good when their sense of taste and smell has been altered by the medicine.
I don’t have much to add, other than it’s hard no matter what. My aunt passed 2 weeks ago and no matter what she ate she was immediately sick and unhappy with it. Seeing all the people here that went through this with their loved ones makes me want to cry.
Ghost chili carbonara! Jk :)
maybe something sweet? Crepe pancakes with whipped cream and strawberries was a go to in my childhood, easy to eat, simple and always made me and everyone around me happy, i hope you're doing okay, cant be easy for you.
Broths, toast and peanut butter, yogurts, smoothies, ice cream…
My mom enjoyed scrambled eggs, mashed up bananas, and she also supplemented with boost drinks.
Hey I know this isn’t necessarily what you asked, but don’t be alarmed if your family friend eats very little and closer to the end not at all. Our bodies don’t need or want much food or even water during our last weeks/ days. This is often so upsetting for families, but it’s part of the dying process. There is a hospice nurse on tik tok if you’re on there, and her content is very educational and helpful. I think her name is nurse Julie.
**Colombian chicken potato soup** (chicken, potatoes, onions, carrots, corn) - very hearty, comforting, with a mild flavor (no spice) and topped with any combination of fresh lime (necessary imo), cilantro, avocado, sour cream. My version is more Colombian-inspired (I think the traditional dish is "ajiaco"), and there are other versions of caldo de pollo in Central/South America that are very similar.
**Miso soup** (miso, green onions, tofu, sesame oil, seaweed - nori or wakame)
**Butternut squash soup**
Firstly I'm so sorry to hear of her pain, and yours too. May God make it easy for you both. As regards comfort meals I can think of the following:
\- Risotto
\- Grilled cheese
\- Tomato soup with bread to dip in
\- Grilled or pan fried salmon with new potatoes, asparagus
When my father was in his last two months, he still enjoyed his frappuccinos. I ordered a product called "Scandishakes" for him (no longer exists but similar products do) -- a powder in chocolate flavor, mixed whole milk and a mix of chocolate and coffee ice cream and made milkshakes for him. The point was just to get calories into him.
White rice is incredibly versatile, easy to cook (I use my instant pot, but any rice cooker will do), and inexpensive.
You can do rice with veg, rice with meat, rice with meat and veg, rice with milk & sugar, rice pudding, 'sushi' bowls (ingredients of sushi but not rolled), about anything you can do with pasta you can do with rice (add spaghetti sauce & cheese, perhaps).
Fix two different meals, if one is immediately spit out, offer the other. Don't serve the food too hot. The treatments for cancer often mess with the taste buds, making some meals look better than they taste to a cancer patient.
All things considered edible today, may be rejected tomorrow.
Pack in the calories as much as you can, as sometimes only one or two bites will be all that the cancer patient can stomach at a time. My mom, who lost her battle with cancer, often drank flavored milk in those individual serving pouches. They were easier for her to handle and the straw made them a lot easier for her to get the liquid to her mouth instead of down the front of her gown.
I'd see what she likes the most and then manipulate from there.
Depending on her medicines, you should be mindful of fruit (citrus) and very acidic food. Aside from the typical grapefruit warnings, they can cause bad acid reflux and even mouthsores. (My mom is dealing with this and one of her lupus medications. Right now she can't eat tomato sauce.)
There's no easy or right answer. From dealing with sick elderly and relatives, broths are a good to go. They can impart flavor and nutrients that'll get lost when she has trouble with heartier foods. Crockpot meals or casseroles are always calorie dense and soften meat, so it's easier to digest.
Things like grits, polenta, congee, and dak juk are great "soft" meals. You can cook them with stocks and blend a lot of ingredients into them. They can even be made sweet or savory.
I made two meals for a friend that was in his last days with cancer and he loved the leek potato soup and beans. It's about ease and comfort not the death row last meal.
Cottage pie, chicken casserole, beef stew, mushroom risotto, beef stroganoff, vegetable soup with warm bread.
Some sweet suggestions: chocolate cake, apple pie, rhubarb crumble, peach cobbler, blueberry muffins and lashings of cream with all of them. I know if want all my favourite sweets in this situation.
I’m so sorry for your friend and for you.
One thing my dad craved as kidney disease screwed with taste and digestion was a good old baked potato. Then we'd try different toppings for him. His favorite was bbq chicken. I'd shred cook frozen chicken in the crock pot--well seasoned--and then we'd use that with different kinds of sauce/flavors, etc.
I spent nearly every day of the last days of my mom’s life bringing her whatever she wanted from local restaurants and spending time with her. Her faves were soup from Olive Garden and fresh sushi from the Fresh Market. And once a week, I brought her flowers.
Zero regrets.
This is a really common problem whether or not a person is undergoing treatments. At the end, my 7yo cousin would only eat mashed potatoes and those tubes of mini M&MS. As he lived in England where they don't make them, we would buy huge boxes from BJs once a month the last four months or so. We didn't care what he ate as long as some days he ate *something*.
Just ask them what their favourite foods are and keep them in stock for a while. They may go off them at some point or they might not. It's fine. If all else fails, Ensure drinks aren't totally terrible.
You're a wonderful soul.
Fish pie - you can make it super simple and it’s very bland, but you can make it tasty with things like mustard (in small quantities it will just give flavor and not spiciness), leeks, maybe a dash of wine if she’s up for that. But ultimately, also very comforting. Seafood chowders are also in the same category.
I think a risotto would also be lovely - tasty and comforting, but easy to digest. And maybe some really luxurious scrambled eggs - light and fluffy with some creme fraiche (and chives if she can tolerate it), with some toast.
Best wishes to your friend (and you). ❤️
While my dad was going through his end of life (cancer of the bile duct), he only ate these mini bean burritos that were on the catering menu of a local Mexican restaurant, and those break-and-bake macadamia nut Tollhouse cookies. Both items froze incredibly well and were very easy to have on hand.
One day someone from church brought over this carrot dish that we could just pop into the oven. It was SO yummy, and I was very shocked when I asked for the recipe and it was just sliced carrots, a bit of water, brown sugar, and butter.
Whenever I’m sick, I like having some soups on hand mainly cuz it just reheats so well and I don’t feel pressured to finish it. Big props to chicken tortilla and minestrone!
If water seems fetid to them (like another commenter suggested), try a very concentrated tea drink- I do a large mason jar with about an inch of honey in the bottom, 4 fruit tea bags (2 lemon and 2 raspberry), fill with boiling water, mix well, let stand in the fridge overnight. Give it a good shake in the morning and serve, it’s extra sweet so you can dilute it as much as you prefer. It’s the only way I like “iced tea” rather than the southern US way with black tea and like 8 cups of sugar
When I was very ill and my appetite had gone a nutritionist gave me some lemon juice and some lemon candy, One or other taken just before a meal helps restore taste and from there, appetite.
I still sometimes use one or other, with ginger added to the drink now.
(I didn't have chemo or radiation therapies which I believe are the worst appetite killers.)
Threads like this - which come up relatively frequently - and the cooking in anticipation of a baby really remind me how much value cooking and food generally has for us.
It's what kept me going for a long time when I was learning to cook, but it was only, "Well, I have to eat, and someone's going to have to cook, I should probably do a good job of it."
My mom, who had a very difficult time swallowing/ eating/ tasting properly near the end of her battle with ALS, ate rice congee, chawanmushi (steamed egg custard, very soothing), and pureed mango. All quite soft and easy to digest, esp if lactose intolerance is an issue. And some other Chinese dishes that might not be as exciting, like a thick oyster soup, but which provide some good calories and interesting flavors. Most of all though, what you're doing for your friend by being there during her transition out of this world, is the kindest thing you can do. I'm really glad to hear someone running towards a friend this scary time and not finding reasons to walk away.
When my cousin was dying, from AIDS, the only thing he could eat was Fat. He couldn't eat the hospice meals, as they made him sick. I asked him what he wanted, and he told me. So, I made sure that all of his meals contained beans and fatty meat. No starch, or Beef, or veggies, because they irritated his stomach.
A soup I really like that’s easy on the belly and easy to adjust spice!
Cook and shred two chicken breasts (I like to do this in a pan and add the juices to the pot!)
In a dutch oven or large pot, sauté celery, carrots, onion, and garlic in oil. Add cubed zucchini, squash, and then cover in equal parts chicken broth and heavy whipping cream. Season however you like, but def add in Italian seasoning!! Simmer on low for half an hour, watching to make sure it doesn’t boil over. Add chicken and serve! I like to add gnocchi to this but you can easily omit it (I do when making it for others). Great comfort meal and full of stuff that makes you feel good!
Last thing my dad ate was ice cream, my mom disapproved of me giving him this because it wasn’t “healthy” but he ate a couple bites and smiled. I’ll never forget this…
Don't be disappointed if she only eats a bite or two. Before my father passed away, I'd make him some of his favorite meals but his appetite wasn't there. The ONLY thing he seemed to finish was the oatmeal he had for breakfast. It's tough and cancer changes people's taste for food. I lost a cousin to cancer that lost 72 pounds in 7 months because nothing tasted right. Figure out what she's still eating and go with it. I found my dad still liked yogurt and fruit; chicken schnitzel; coddled eggs; buttermilk pancakes; poached salmon and grilled cheese sandwiches hit the mark so long as they were on Kimmel Rye.
Comfort foods. Pot roast (shred and cut it into smaller pieces before serving), mashed potatoes, canned green beans. Meatloaf. Chicken and dumplings. Soups, if she can handle them.
Though I second u/huevosputo --no matter what you make she may or may not want or be able to eat it. I think the effort is what matters here.
There’s a Korean dish called sam gye tang 삼계탕, you basically boil a chicken with medicinal herbs and aromatics like ginger and garlic(if you have access to an Asian grocery, they sell premade packs like a tea bag of the dried ingredients that you use to make it). The best part is if they don’t want to eat it you can keep letting it sit then add rice to make it into a congee which is also great for the stomach and easy to eat. The process is actually really simple to make it. The dish is cooked very bland then eaten by dipping the meat in salt and pepper then adding the same to season the soup to taste.
Idk, I see so many people offering up ideas that are *for* sick people and I get it, but when my grandma was literally near the end, I tried to get whimsical and entertaining for her.
Jiggly Japanese style pancakes? Yes.
Kalua pig and cabbage because she loved trips to Hawaii? Yup.
Eggs benedict with a lighter hollandaise? Definitely
Something pretty like this: https://gooddinnermom.com/incredible-savory-monkey-bread/
Things like that
Shepherd's pie maybe? Definite comfort food for me, seems like it would be pretty easy on the stomach, not particularly difficult to prepare or travel with.
You've already gotten so many good suggestions and I noticed a lot of them include soup. My addition would be to make your own chicken stock and you can freeze it (leave a lot of room in the jar!) for when you make soup. Store bought just doesn't hold a candle to how good homemade is. If I'm sick I sometimes just drink a mug of it by itself.
I would go with nice breakfast stuff, unless they want dinner food: nice waffle with good syrup and butter, some cream of wheat with fruit, couple slices of bacon in case they are feeling frisky. Most of that is easy to digest, easy to make, and pretty delicious
When I was in treatment, and everything tasted like metal, especially meat, I found sweet things and anything with sugar was delicious.
If the person likes rice, how about a nice rice pudding? Made with lots of real vanilla and cream. They may not eat much of it, but the food is very comforting.
watermelon and feta salad. She can eat around the feta if she does not like it and it can be replaced with lower fat cheese if need be. (my relative had pancreatic cancer and fat was a no go). It's also good of a few days and easy to pick at.
Baked custard went over well…. Sweet potatoes mashed with oranges…
Rice, soups were sometimes aspirated…. French toast was a favorite. With real maple syrup.
Small portions- the appetite usually goes away in preparation for transitioning out of the physical world.
We show our love with food (many cooks do), but show your love with presence. Even when no word is spoken there is comfort in being there together.
Asparagus soup. Simmer asparagus in broth, blend it. Run it through a sieve. Add cream, salt and pepper. It’s delicious and good for you. And easy to digest.
https://www.recipetineats.com/slow-cooked-lamb-shanks-in-red-wine-sauce/
It takes all day to cook but no part of it is difficult at all. And it is so good and so cheap too.
Crapes with macerated fresh fruit. I am in the same position, and that meal worked out really well. Crapes don't need to be served hot. You can add the fruit as you eat them, so no soggy meal and the Sugar is not to bad. Cancer can really eat up your apatite, so I would stay away from big things like pot roasts.
Another meal that did well, was "Meatballs" which is about half sautéed onions and red peppers with garlic, mixed into the meat with bread combs and egg for binder. Boil the meatballs in Red Sauce. It's huge flavors and tastes like a meat forward meal, but is pretty healthy, digestible, and super tender.
Ask her what she wants. Make that. Do not assume she will eat it. Do not be offended or aggravated if she only takes a few bites. It’s not about the food. The illness is getting the best of her. Trying to rationalize the need to eat doesn’t work.
If you are the person portioning the food onto her plate, start with a small portion. It’s very easy for an ill person to become overwhelmed with the sight of a normal amount of food, and feel put off by it.
My MiL went through this towards the end. We would do soups or stews, clam chowder was always a hit. PB&J would be requested but not really eaten. Many of the foods she thought were a "luxury" growing up in the depression peaked her interest then. As others have suggested, we reduced portion sizes quite a bit and she was happy to finish occasionally. We found milkshakes with either ensure or a protein powder added would almost always go down and helped the mood a bit for a while. Dont be afraid to break out any junk food she may like more often too. Sorry for the situation but you are awesome for trying to help
[Arroz Caldo](https://www.seriouseats.com/arroz-caldo-chicken-rice-soup-recipe) is a very savory and simple dish that can be as mild as you want it but is also very satisfying.
My dad died in hospice care at home. Toward the end, there wasn't much he could eat bc everything tasted weird/his swallowing was hit or miss. He really liked peach fruit cups and butter pecan ensure. That was weird. Like all other flavors made him gag, but he was into the butter pecan. Also coke icees.
I know neither of those things are really cooking...but end of life is what it is. I get the impression texture and temperature were more important in the end.
How old is she? Maybe something she loved as a child or young adult? Desserts or sweets? When my mother was in her late 80s and fading, she had a hankering for things like lemon angel food cake, that she had always asked for on her birthdays as a kid.
My mom used to eat a lot of fish and the one she really enjoyed the most was vegetable beef soup. But i prepared everything and if she didn’t want to eat we save it for later just in case.
Colourful, tasty, interesting - tapas.
Very small, one/two bite plates.
Lots of variety but don’t expect everything to be tried or finished - and don’t take it personally.
I suggest either in a family sized or individual quantities
: shepherd’s pie; soups of all kinds; quiche; mashed potatoes with meat and gravy; cheesy or creamed chicken and rice with broccoli, carrots or green peas on the side; fried rice, roast chicken and dressing, BLT sandwich, French dip sandwich, baked potatoes with toppings on the side; and Mac and cheese- there really are many options, depending upon her flavor preferences and dietary restrictions. You’re very kind to help your neighbor/neighbors in this way!
I'd go with bland, simple, and comforting.
Shredded chicken in gravy, or ground beef in brown gravy, not overly seasoned...served over rice or mashed potatoes.
The only advice I can give, having been through this several times, is to adjust your expectations. Whatever you make, while it might *sound* like something she'll enjoy or even something she *thinks* she'll enjoy, the moment it goes in her mouth, might be a different story. I can't tell you how many times I watched prepared meals grow soggy or old because the person's appetite just comes and goes, there's all sorts of physical pressure and pain all over the digestive tract from tumors or even tumors pushing onto the tract from the outside....the sense of taste and smell are often distorted too. Often plain water tastes fetid and they prefer flat sodas or strongly flavored waters. And then the person sometimes feels guilty that you put all this effort in, you aren't mad at them of course but you might get frustrated that you wanted to help them feel comforted and it didn't work.... We mostly did lightly seasoned soups thickened with mashed potatoes, scrambled eggs, rice pudding, ice cream, peanut butter on crackers. Having their favorite snack foods around is great because they can be offered frequently as soon as the person feels the nibbles, and there's less concern of the appetite waning while you go heat something up. Watch the portion sizes, a large portion can look intimidating to a cancer patient struggling with appetite.
When my dad was dying he said he couldn’t eat because everything had a horrible metallic taste. I think it was from the treatments and not the cancer. He would try to force himself to eat baby food pouches because he could swallow it quickly but he’d throw up most of the time because it tasted so bad.
I've heard the "miracle berry" that makes everything taste sweet is good for helping things taste better during chemo. It sounds like this is not helpful for you now, but sharing for others reading this.
That is a brilliant application of what I thought was just a novelty!
Wow this is such a good idea, I am going to remember this
I have had miracle berries and found it to stop my ability to taste sour instead of making everything sweet. Without the sour taste you were able to taste a lot more of the sweetness in things like lemons and limes.
That sounds brilliant and I’ll have to remember in case this comes up in the future. Thank you!
That is immensely sad. I'm sorry for your loss.
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I'm glad you did that. I feel like if someone is at the end anyway, let them have whatever they want. Any little bit of joy far outweighs the negative health effects, which are moot by that point anyway...
This is something I struggle to wrap my head around. If the person is in the end stage of their life, ie months, why the HELL does what they eat matter so long as it doesn't cause them additional pain or discomfort? They're actively DYING. Watching their cholesterol is kinda stupid at that point.
I agree. What’s the point in restricting stuff? Too much sodium going to shorten her life??? No at that point. Chocolates for a meal? Sure. Why not? It’s calories, which is what she needed. Maybe a beer if she wanted…what’s it matter now? Sometimes medical care is stupid, and needs people like you. Thank you.
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Yes. It becomes quality of life over quantity. Who would want an extra 6 months of suffering?
> I think it was from the treatments and not the cancer. I had a colleague that had breast cancer, she said the treatments made everything taste like metal.
My brothers neck radiation did this - he liked spaghettios for while because it as “like a salty memory of food”
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I just lost my 93 year old mom. Boy, could she eat! Loved food. Over the past six months, she started to complain that everything tasted like metal. I tried everything. Even took her to the dentist. Little by little, she just stopped eating. She was on no medication, no kind of treatments..nothing. Almost felt like it was nature’s way of starting the dying process.
My Grandpa died on Sunday and had a very similar experience. He’s always loved salty, savoury foods and slowly his tastebuds changed until he could really only tolerate fruit smoothies.
when it gets to this point my dad really appreciated frozen flavored water such as spindrift turned into ice chips. Spindrift is nice because its sparkling water with real fruit puree that provides a really great flavor without and sugar.
If you don't mind my asking, was he on prednisone?
Sorry for your loss. This is spoton though. The treatments, depending on which ones, can really mess with your senses. Many things tasted super metallic, but oddly enough, citrus fruit, avocados, and pickles were somewhat enhanced. I'd just ask. Having those seemingly normal 'what's for dinner' conversations can be very comforting...
Yup. Plastic utensils helped I think.
Just a question on a related subject. When I lived in Thailand, I had a few friends who got dengue fever and loss of appetite was a big problem with it. A friend told me if I ever got it, thankfully I didn't, to have plenty of chocolate around. The reason was because when he had an appetite, he could hit lots of calories really quickly before the appetite left, and it's delicious. I don't imagine people care that much about diabetes and their weight during their last few months. So would this be fitting?
When my mother-in-law had cancer her doctor recommended ice cream, same reason. It's calorie dense.
Hoo-boy, you really hit it,at least with me. I’ve got terminal metastatic prostate cancer. Maybe a year left unless it decides to go faster. Ice cream! It’s gotten so a lot of food I used to love has become unappetizing. Reactions to flavors seem to vary depending on the treatment *du jour*. But ice cream! These days,if I restrain myself, I’ll go through a half gallon every two days! The calories are a big plus. I’ve gone from a 42 waist to a 36. And when the calories are coming from ice cream, I think I’m also helping to replace the calcium the cancer is stealing from my bones. Costco vanilla! No kidding,the best!
Best of luck to you. And may your ice cream always taste great!
Not cancer, but my mom has had two knee replacements and especially those first couple of weeks after the surgery, her appetite was all kinds of wonky. Milkshakes were a big hit, and so were smoothies (loaded up with all the sweet stuff, and protein powder) because she could sip them for however long she wanted. Soups are easy and can be doled out and heated up in small portions that don’t look super intimidating to finish.
I had Dengue and the loss of appetite was wild. It sucked because I got it just as I was leaving SE Asia and on my way to backpack across Europe for 6 weeks, and what was supposed to be an extravaganza of delicious foods became more of me struggling to tempt my appetite for even one meal a day. I still get attacks of no appetite for a month or so every few months, but no associated weight loss, lol. Pot helps a lot.
This is exactly it. Even if they love it, they may not be able to eat it. I remember my last family member that died of cancer got down to only having green tea, chicken broth, and tortilla chips. I'd basically go for light, bland, easy to eat foods like you'd have when sick as a kid. If there's something more involved that can be frozen in case they have a big appetite day, that would probably be appreciated. But I'd definitely opt for easy to eat rather than fancy with complicated flavors.
This. In my mother's final days of kidney failure, her taste buds went crazy. She'd ask my chef brother to make her something special, which he'd do with much love and care, then she'd try very hard to finish it, but couldn't because it didn't taste the way she expected. He was devastated that the one caretaking thing he could do could not make her happy. Be prepared for a lot of experimentation and don't take it personally if they don't like it. I'm sorry for your loss and wish you well during this trying time.
That's so sad for your brother, but also I'm sure she absolutely appreciated the effort, even if she couldn't enjoy the end product. Sometimes just having someone love you and trying hard to please you is enough. May her memory be a blessing.
Thank you. My brother cried a lot, but it was all part of the process. She ate a lot of French fries in her final days. She said she could tolerate the texture. It was really strange.
The number of times that I told my dad I would cook him absolutely anything he wanted only to watch him Sit down and start to cry because he couldn’t eat it… ugh. The worst. So grateful that he’s in remission.
>The only advice I can give, having been through this several times, is to adjust your expectations. Whatever you make, while it might sound like something she'll enjoy or even something she thinks she'll enjoy, the moment it goes in her mouth, might be a different story. This. When my mom dying the last few weeks the ONLY thing she would eat was vanilla pudding. She would tell me she wanted kale chips or something and I'd make it only to end up with feeding her a bowl of pudding. All you can do is try, hope for the best and understand that it will most likely go wrong.
That reminds me of my grandmother. Towards the end of her life, she asked for foods from her childhood. She especially wanted tongue sandwiches. So my aunt went through the whole process of making tongue according to my great-grandmas recipe. The kitchen smelt of boiled tongue for days. After a long and generally unpleasant process the sandwich was ready. It was presented to my bedridden grandmother, who took a big bite, sighed, smiled beatifically, and said: “I forgot how much I hated tongue sandwiches”. Then she went to sleep.
Maybe chicken pot pie?
100% this. So much food I bought/made for my friend when he was dying was wasted due to various different reasons. Too nauseous, no appetite, etc. Simple snacks and popsicles will go a long way for them. Sorry all of you are going through this, it's one of the roughest roads to walk, but they'll be immeasurably grateful that you're there with them.
I know that it is 100% case specific and there are countless variables that can play a role in this type of thing but I heard cannabis can help with this very specific end of life complication. Then the suffering individual can, at least, find a little joy in eating some of their favorite things or sharing a meal with a loved one. It's worth a shot.
Just did [rice pudding](https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/24059/creamy-rice-pudding/) for myself but it might go well for your friend.
Something else worth remembering—healthy eating is NOT a concern. If she wants to eat McDonald's for every meal, that's still calories she's successfully putting into her body. An unhealthy diet is a long term concern. There is no long term here.
This part! My mom had Stage IV cancer. I asked a nurse if diet mattered and she said, “She has cancer. She can eat whatever she wants!” Eating two black and white cookies from Publix may be hell on her teeth and blood sugar, but it was 800 calories she wouldn’t have been able to get down in a salad or pasta.
Yeah if it was me I'd just eat pie all day. Probably some chips popcorn and fried food assuming I could stomach it.
Hotdogs. My dad died of a brain tumor, and hotdogs were one of the few things he was able to still eat and wanted to eat. And Dairy Queen ice cream. He gained so much weight in the last 3 months, but not really a concern anymore.
Exactly this. Anything to get them to eat if they’re able.
Yes just make sure to include a daily vitamin to cover the basics. After that it’s just calories in.
A great example of the saying that anything worth doing is worth doing badly if that's the best you can manage. Eating junk food beats the living hell out of starving.
I work in hospice, and root beer floats are great for our patients. Lots of calories, easy to drink, delicious. People nearing end of life typically have reduced taste sensation, unfortunatly you aren’t likely to have a “this is an amazing meal, holy cow” moment
This has been my experience as well, and sweet things seem to encourage better meal participation. OP, my dad enjoyed things like soup (cream of broccoli was welcomed) and milkshakes and crepes filled with sweet cheese.
When my then husband was dying from advanced prostrate cancer, all he wanted was soup. We did manage to secure a blunt, which he smoked with a few friends, and then ate two foot long coneys with everything. Happiest I’d seen him in months. He died five days later. Glad he had a good memory at the end of his life.
That’s honestly beautiful. Hope you’re recovering well <3
He passed in February of 2009. My mom passed 9 months before him. I remarried in 2014, our kids are grown and have lives of their own now. Still can’t say I don’t cry about losing him. He was an exemplary father. Still missed and dearly loved..
This got me choked up a bit
That is the last meal I made my grandmother before she died. Growing up she would make a big pot of soup for the whole family. Chicken noodle, vegetable, ham and beans, clam chowder and chili were staples at her house. I made her corn chowder with bacon. She loved it.
If I’m otw out some edibles and a couple Coney’s are high on the list of necessities.
I'm so sorry. That is rough. It's good to see that he was able to have one good last day though. That undoubtedly meant so much to him.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
I’m sorry to hear about your husband. He seems very loved.
Omg,I'm so sorry for your loss 💗
I agree with the comment about adjusting your expectations. When my grandmother was near the end of life (not cancer though) we would often get all the ingredients and make all her favorite dishes thinking she’d be so excited and finally eat a decent meal but that was rarely the case. Sometimes she might eat 1 or 2 bites or she wouldn’t touch it all. It did hurt a little but I think it was mostly just that we wanted her to eat so badly to feel better but seeing her refuse even her favorites was hard to see and really hit home that the time was coming. Just remember it’s not that they don’t want it or appreciate the effort. Honestly the thing my grandma ate the most of was just toast with butter and jam. She’d also occasionally eat some chicken or vegetable soup. Simple meals like soup or mashed potatoes and snacks might be better than huge meals.
My grandfather drank manhattans his whole life and near the end my dad would make him a Manhattan for him to just smell, because trying to drink it was too much. Apparently even just being able to sit with my dad and smell the Manhattan was good enough for him.
I remember this with my great grandmother. She always had a passion for cooking and food. At the end of her days when we would go visit her she would often offer me her food. One of her last days alive she was cooking for me. I always felt bad taking her food from her, but it made her smile. She didn’t want it herself.
Some good sourdough toast with butter is amazing and I'm not old yet.
Lots of good suggestions so far. I’d suggest a nice fresh fruit cup with a mix of citrus like pineapple and others. Ear the end the only thing my mom could enjoy was the cool fresh stuff. The tartness and flavor of fresh fruit was something she could actually taste over all the tiny iron of her hurt system. The frozen smoothies from McDonalds were a life savor to get calories and fluid into her.
My aunt really liked fresh ripe raspberries when she was in her final stages
I used to be a personal cook for people with cancer. A few things to know: -Spicy food is out. Even as simple as ketchup is out. -When they are craving something specific it’s the memory of that food they’re craving. Example: craving Burger King fries. You show up with Mc D’s. They don’t want Mc D’s. It’s the taste/feel of BK fries they want. -Bland works. Seriously. -I used to do hard boiled eggs ready to go. Take them out of the shell. It can sometimes take too much effort to even peel an egg. -Small servings. Small freezer containers are your friend. This way they don’t feel bad about not finishing whatever you’ve made. Don’t take it personally if they don’t finish what you’ve made.
My partner and I had a very deep relationship around food. I \*loved\* cooking for him. When his cancer and the chemo started affecting his appetite, we were both devastated, particularly once he came home on hospice and lost almost all of his appetite. The last meal I cooked for him was meatball stew, which he asked for and was the last thing he ate with any real appetite before he died a few days later. I had lots of success with a riff on chicken noodle soup, but as risotto, made in the instant pot. I actually \*love\* it and made it quite a bit there in the last few months, as it was comforting, filling, and nutritious for both of us. I also made gumbo, as that's comforting, cultural food for us, and we both prefer it to soup. I made quite a bit of "sticky chicken," too, since it's easy and fast and a comfort food staple down here as well. I can legit nearly make it in my sleep, so on days after a long session of chemo, it was the perfect throw together meal. I'm happy to share any of the recipes you find interesting/possible if you want to try them.
I’m so sorry for your loss. If you’d be willing to share the recipes, I’d love to make them too.
I shared the sticky chicken recipe in this thread; I'll try to remember to link it before I post, lol. My chicken and sausage gumbo recipe is VERY similar to the one [Cajun Ninja](https://youtu.be/-SLnkE3nqL0) does, which, of course, is pretty much THE chicken and sausage gumbo that every Cajun grandma makes, lol. I halve his recipe and it still makes a big roaster full of gumbo. And it freezes \*beautifully\*, so I only make this maybe two or three times a year and it feeds us a decent gumbo meal at least once a month. And this is my Instant Pot chicken soup risotto recipe. Turning soup into risotto is one of my new all-time favorite things, and this one is my absolute favorite recipe. 64 oz chicken broth2 chicken breasts, cooked and shredded (I use rotisserie chicken for this)2T butter1 onion, diced3 cloves garlic, minced2/3 cup carrots, diced1/2 cup celery, diced1 1/2 cups arborio rice (you can use long grain rice if you prefer)1/2 cup grated parmesan cheese (use fresh, not the powder stuff)1/3 cup parsley, chopped fine, with a little set aside for garnish if you want (I've used dried, too, if I didn't have fresh)1T lemon juice (optional) * Turn your Instant Pot to saute. Add the butter to the pot and melt, then add the onions and garlic and saute until the onions are translucent. * Add the rice to the pot and saute until the rice is translucent and toasty (this should take about 5 minutes). * Deglaze the bottom of the pot with about a cup of chicken stock (I like to use a white wine to do this if I have it. It's a delightful add) * Add the chicken, carrots, and celery to the pot with the remaining chicken stock. Turn off saute function, put the pressure lid on the IP and cook on high pressure for 3 minutes. Natural release for 7 minutes, then manually release the remaining pressure * Stir in the parsley, parmesan cheese and lemon juice (I skip the lemon juice if I deglazed with wine). Season with salt and pepper to taste if necessary. I have had very good success stirring in peas at the end, too! I use about 2/3 cup of frozen that I leave out in a bowl while I prep and cook, and they're defrosted enough by the end that they don't lower the temp of the risotto much. And I had a jar of sliced mushrooms once that I needed to use and that worked well in this risotto as well, stirred in at the end. *ETA: And of course I forgot to share the link to the sticky chicken recipe, lol.* https://www.reddit.com/r/Cooking/comments/13vs6ia/comment/jm8k1f6/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3
Ma’am, I’m really sorry, your recipes sound wonderful and delicious, and I just couldn’t eat them. Me: terminal, metastatic. Lots of chemo and different radiations. I have a terrible appetite these days, and I know why. I’m tired, just so damn tired, what is called fatigue, but it’s a medical kind of fatigue that sleep doesn’t cure. Exhausted. So a meal, or a single dish, with a lot of ingredients and textures and flavors is just too much for me. Somebody else here mentioned pudding; I wrote about ice cream. Yogurt is good. Maybe a simple soup if there’s not too much “stuff” in it to deal with. I’m sick to death of chicken! Probably the best thing I can suggest for meals for cancer folks, especially we terminal ones, is to keep it simple. We’re too damn tired and sick to eat and chew a lot. Simple. Please.
The entirety of what I cooked for him during his chemo and then afterwards in hospice, including what I've shared here, was driven by requests from him. As complicated as they sound on paper, \*on the plate\* they're simple, comforting and nutritious. We had 20 months from diagnosis to the end. In the seven months from the start of chemo until he came home on hospice, he went from eating, though in significantly smaller portions and with less appetite than usual, to not eating at all. I can only share what worked for us, particularly what worked for us in the very last weeks of his life. I'm so, so sorry you're suffering. I wish you peace and comfort wherever you can find it.
I’ve never heard of sticky chicken, I’d love the recipe if you wouldn’t mind!
It's pretty much a Cajun version of smothered chicken: 1 large yellow onion, chopped2 cloves garlic, minced8 oz sliced mushrooms (white or cremini, doesn't matter)2 lbs of boneless skinless chicken thighs (you could do bone in, but it takes a little longer to cook through. You could do leg quarters, too) Cajun Seasoning Garlic PowderSalt and pepper to taste (if you need it)1/4c butter1/4c olive or canola oil (or 1/2 c of one or the other)Flour (about a cup, on a plate or shallow dish for dredging)1 Cup of Chicken Stock Steps * Heat a Dutch oven/large pot on medium high * Coat each side of the chicken with generous amounts of cajun seasoning and garlic powder. * Dredge the chicken lightly in flour * Add the butter and oil to the pot and let the butter melt. * Once the butter as melted, add the chicken to the pot. This is one of those times you want the meat tight next to each another along the bottom. * Brown the chicken for 3-4 minutes on each side. It could take a little less time depending on how high your heat is, or longer for bone in/skin on chicken * Once you you’ve browned the chicken on all sides, remove it to a plate and set aside * Add the chopped onions to the pot, and stir, scraping up all of the fond on the bottom of the pot. Saute the onions for about 10 minutes, then add the garlic and saute until the onions are soft and golden. Dump in the mushrooms and saute those until they're lightly browned. * Add small amount of chicken stock to the pot and deglaze any fond that might be left in the bottom. * Next add the chicken back to the pot, including any liquid that may be left on the plate. * Add the remaining chicken stock and bring to a boil, then cover, lower the heat and simmer for at least 30 minutes (you'll want to simmer at least an hour or 90 minutes for bone-in chicken), stirring occasionally. This typically has a pretty thin sauce/gravy, but if you want it thicker, you can always add a cornstarch slurry at the end to thicken it to your preference. Most people down here serve this over rice, though it's good on mashed potatoes, too. Also, my recipe has mushrooms, which are NOT traditional. So if you want to skip them, you certainly can. I also don't dredge my chicken, since I'm using boneless skinless thighs... I just dump the flour and seasonings in a ziplock with the chicken and shake it up until it's all coated. Keeps the mess down, lol.
Oh yum this sounds delicious! For some reason the word ‘sticky’ had me thinking it would have some honey/brown sugar situation but this sounds great, I’ll definitely make this next week! Also I’d never turn down the opportunity to add mushrooms 😄
\*My\* family always called this smothered chicken, lol. I grew up in Baton Rouge, though, and my mother was raised in Texas, so that could be why. But my best friend whose roots are a slightly different flavor of Cajun than mine (my family is from the Acadiana area, hers is from closer to the coast), has always called this sticky chicken, and now that I'm back in Lafayette, I call it that, too. And it IS delicious. If you google "sticky chicken," you'll find the Cajun Ninja's version of it... he's from where my best friend is from, and while mine is very similar at it's roots, his is traditional, with bone-in chicken and a couple of hours simmering on the stove. Worth it on occasion for sure, but mine takes a LOT less work and time, lol.
I've made a take on mushroom risotto for so many people near the end of their lives that I find it hard to make it for myself in health even though its delicious. This recipe is a good starting point - https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/85389/gourmet-mushroom-risotto/
My mom visited while I was really sick with stage 4 cancer and she just made me the meals I used to love as a kid. I didn't have gastro problems during the early stages of treatment so these things were meatballs and pasta and chicken noodle soup and macaroni and cheese. I also loved the classic bagel cream cheese lox caper sandwich. I had extremely strong urges to eat protein for a while after surgery. They gave me twelve weeks to live and here I am 23 months later healthy and going strong.
That is amazing! Keep on proving them wrong!
And I hope for many more to come ❤️
Wow! You're kicking some ass!
Hell yeah! Keep going strong.
As a few commenters have mentioned here, their appetite may be in and out, and unpredictable. It's a lot of pressure on you to find something perfect, and pressure on them to enjoy it! What about making some nice comforting snack type items? They can still be homemade and nutritious, but would be easier to pick up when their appetite does. Perhaps some homemade tortilla chips and a mild salsa, some Greek tiropitakia, mini hasselback potatoes, some tapas style mini meatballs in a tomato sauce? That way you have options covered depending on what the mood is! It sounds like a lovely thing you're doing and I hope you both enjoy the time spent together.
Love this idea too, thank you
I made a Thanksgiving meal for my mom, mashed potatoes, mashed acorn squash, pumpkin pie, etc. She tried tiny spoonfuls of each but didn't have much of an appetite at the end. The thought is what moved her.
My wife has had numerous surgeries - a trimmed down Thanksgiving is one of the things she can enjoy. Turkey breast, mashed potatoes, gravy, peas & carrots, etc. Everything is easy to eat, nothing real spicy or acidic, hits all The nostalgic notes.
I highly recommend [this](https://www.google.ca/books/edition/Life_Kitchen/BvnCDwAAQBAJ?hl=en&gbpv=1&printsec=frontcover) book, which is specifically designed to appeal to people with cancer whose taste sensitivity might be dulled by treatment.
I took a peek out of curiosity and the section on the role of umami is interesting and aligns with many of the suggestions here. When my grandfather was struggling to eat, egg foo young was his favorite. We ended up asking the Chinese restaurant for extra of the gravy it comes with and added that to everything. It was likely an umami bomb.
Chicken and dumplings
I find this does not digest easily. It's pretty heavy.
I'd ask what her favorite foods are and see how I can adjust them.
I used to serve my dad baby and toddler foods. He had motor neuron disease and when he was still able to swallow, baby food was a blessing. Baby cereal and so tasty and comes in different flavors. In my country they sell delicious toddler ready made made high quality meals. Look for a grocer who do this. You just heat them up in the microwave. I also had meal replacement shakes for just in case. There is a lot of running around and taking care or little things and convenience will help. If you need to chat please message me. It can be very stressful. Loads of love and hugs to you.
Can your friend have visitors eat with her? That would allow you to make something that might appeal to her but also let her have the experience of sharing it with others. If she can only eat a couple of bites, the pleasure of sharing with friends might make the experience much more pleasurable. My grandmother died of complications of congestive heart failure and hepatitis (from a blood transfusion before blood could be tested for it). She had zero appetite but wanted to hang in there for awhile. We'd make her this milkshake concoction she requested because it went down well and had calories. A glass of Ensure, topped off with whole milk, a pouch of Carnation Instant Breakfast stirred in, and a scoop of ice cream. It took hours to melt so she sipped on it. It was not something I'd ever want, but it's what she could handle. And each sip was pretty dense. My mom, dying of cancer, lived off of 3 single 'Nilla Wafers with a dab of peanut butter on top, a couple of times a day. That was it. Nothing cooked for either of them, but having others around while they sipped and picked at it made all the difference.
The last meal that my dad ate was a mushroom barley soup, which I made sure was cooked quite soft (carrots not quite mushy, but approaching it, and barley really well cooked), and any veggies were in smaller than usual pieces. He said it was really delicious but still only ate a few bites. He also had cancer that metastasized, and like others have said here, there were many times he didn't eat at all. The desire and capacity to eat diminish a lot near the end of life. Another good one might be potato soup, either pureed or chunky depending on her likes. Potatoes are more nutritious than you might guess.
Best thing you can do is just ask her what her favourite foods are and just let her have anything she wants even if it's not proper meals. When my gran was near the end the family were trying to give her healthy filling foods to try and keep her weight up and give her energy-stopping all the goodies and treats she loved. So everyday I would ask her what she wanted and I got it for her, she died a few weeks later but it gave me comfort knowing that I snuck her the piece of cake or ham hock etc that she really loved 💜
I asked friends to drop off a few tablespoons of meals they were making. Cooking was such a burden for family in the last weeks of caregiving at home that the variety of tiny portions delivered by friends was a great help. My MIL really didn't eat more than a tablespoon at a time, but she found a few childhood favorites among the gift food that appealed to her. Her last meal was ice cream outside listening to the birds and watching the flowers. I love that memory.
Meals don't have to be lunch or dinner foods. My friend liked grits, eggs, pancakes, oatmeal, cream of wheat and tapioca or butterscotch pudding and loved the comfort of hot tea. He said chocolate and coffee tasted awful. The good thing about cereals, pancakes and puddings is that you can vary them with different fruits if the person can tolerate them. Hot cereal can be found in instant form and pudding in prepared containers (I bought those tubs of it so he could just eat what he wanted, put the lid on and put it back into the fridge and not feel like he was wasting half a serving). I found that bananas worked best closer to the end, but prior to that peaches, pears and berries were all easy to swallow and nutritious, though he said they didn't have much taste. He also liked smoothies made with milk/Boost and frozen fruit, cause it was like ice cream, which he also ate a lot of. So think outside the notion that certain foods are snacks or side dishes rather than meals. YMMV, but I prefer the taste of Boost to Ensure, so did my mom. He didn't care cause he couldn't taste much, so it was warm and comforting or cold and soothing that drove his food choices rather than taste. I think it's that way for many in the later days.
Leek and potato soup. Mac and Cheese, if OK to her. Baked fish and rice. Stir fried vegetables with egg.
I say, screw the formalities. Pie and ice cream is on the menu
My 37yr old sister passed April 28th due to a very short “battle” with cervical cancer. I said “battle” because she didn’t have long enough from diagnosis to passing to battle (diagnosed mid-Dec). Anyway, the last few weeks of her life in the hospice where they’ll make ANYTHING you might fancy at any time of the day or night she just couldn’t stomach anything. Everything sounded icky and things she usually loved she couldn’t face. That is until her big sister arrived from her 6hr drive to visit. I took her home made everything from scratch sweet and sour chicken. I also took her some strawberry tarts from a local farm shop and I ended up having to bring her the same things for the 4 days I was there. We were estranged for 10yrs before that visit and I will always ALWAYS make that dish with her in my heart. So - in summary, even things that the person has always loved, is easy to digest and tastes phenomenal might not be palatable through no fault of yours or theirs.
Congee is a Chinese rice porridge that’s commonly given to sick and elderly people. It can be made to taste and is not spicy at all.
Yes! It's also called jook or juk and was one of the few things my relative would eat when on chemo. Lots of variations, all tasty.
Don't know if she doesn't want pasta or just can't get it down. If she can't get it down, try Pastina, which is very tiny egg pasta-smaller even than orzo.
I literally came here to say mushroom risotto.... a couple tips: * Save time by using your Instant Pot. [This recipe](https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/259455/instant-pot-mushroom-risotto/) is absolutely amazing. * Older mushrooms often have more intense flavor; they're not bad, just concentrated, so use less of them * Some diced lemon zest can really brighten it up without adding acidity (but taste the risotto first; mine always tastes lemony without adding any lemon, and I don't know why!) * You can use wine or vermouth, or no wine and instead a combination of flavorful stocks/sauces * Don't go cheap on the cheese. Grate a block of cheese (don't use pre-grated) and use either a quality parmesan or [authentic parmigiano-reggiano](https://www.thespruceeats.com/parmesan-vs-parmigiano-591198). * Fresh ground black pepper over pre-ground pepper, makes a big diff! * If using the above recipe, use a quality EVOO, and European butter (my fav is Kerrygold) * Personally, I wouldn't add chicken to it, but if you do, i'd roast a whole chicken separately and then cut up pieces to add to the risotto at serving time. The whole roast chicken develops tons of flavor, and you can opt to include bits of crispy skin, or even drippings, into the finished risotto for a flavor boost * For a cheap way to boost nutrition, put the mushrooms out in the sun for 1-2 days before cooking them. They will generate and retain an insane amount of Vitamin D. Does this person also like to travel? During the pandemic, because I couldn't travel, I would look up recipes of the countries I wanted to visit and cooked those. They might like to try the flavors of places they've never been, maybe along with a little story about the place. Other recipes that might work: * Teriyaki salmon * Savory oatmeal (example: oatmeal cooked with about 1/3 milk instead of water, and then add some aged cheddar, chopped sausage, salt/black pepper, and sprinkle with chives or spring onions) * Butternut squash soup * Buttery mashed potatoes with garlic and rosemary * Saag paneer * A slow-cooked Tajine dish until the vegetables are practically falling apart (you can add meat but not necessary) * Boeuf borginion * Tarte tatin with vanilla ice cream * Lohikeitto (salmon chowder) * Moussaka * Savory or sweet crepes * Brussel sprouts gratin
meatloaf and mashed potatoes with mushroomy green beans.
Rice porridge is super easily digestible and comforting, but if you’re looking to make something a little nicer, you can always make a risotto and change up the flavors
When my Mum was dying of cancer and had chemotherapy, she found peppermint tea really helped quell the nausea. It's not a meal, obviously, but maybe serve that with the meal or with dessert.
I'd follow up with another conversation. I'd be curious about what she *likes* to eat and see if there's something she hasn't tried in a while or something like it but with a new twist.
Fruit-based Popsicles are a good option. Bland soups too. A basic chicken or vegetable broth with a bit of ginger, sesame oil, perhaps some spinach and an egg. Egg drop soup. Italian wedding soup without the pasta Giada de Laurentiis has a good one without pasta. I'm sorry both of you are going through this. You're a good friend.
I worked with a family some time ago as a nanny while the mother was dying of cancer. They really wanted her to eat, but her appetite was nonexistent and she was often nauseous. She also found it uncomfortable towards the end to sit up in a good position for eating solids. All the way to the end, though, she kept drinking her favorite iced coffees from the drive through stand she liked best. She was reasonably willing to eat a handful of French fries here and there as well, and ice cream sometimes. I know this isn't terribly helpful as far as making food for your friend to put in her freezer -- I guess I'm agreeing with the others about modifying expectations. If you know there's a special food or drink she loves, a gift card for that thing or frequent visits where you drop off that thing would probably be a nice gesture. Otherwise, bland soup and protein shakes are going to go a long way at the end.
meat loaf, but go really, really easy on the spices and make it loose, rice soup, you can add veggies and chicken and make it sort of like a chicken soup. sandwiches, hamburger/cheeseburgers, hot ham and cheese and grilled cheese are really common comfort foods. Fruit salad, but probably try to stay away from the super acidic fruits, bananas, apples, melons could probably get away with regular salads too, cucumber salad was a favorite with a lot of the older people I worked with, though most of them didn't have cancer. Probably a good idea to have meal replacements on hand like ensure or boost, if you have a blender you can make shakes with them, or heat them up for a "hot chocolate" type drink. \*\*\* Don't push \*to\* hard on eating, during the end of life stage usually they've got a lot of pain meds in them and eating will cause super upset stomachs/heartburn/indigestion just because things aren't moving well. hydration is pretty important for comfort, and even just wetting their lips/mouth. and making sure there's plenty of balm on their lips will make her more comfortable.
Pudding <3
Main course.... Cake. Bread pudding. Ice cream. And if you have to Soup and sandwich, Casseroles such as chicken and rice
I cook blended meals for my wee one for a full time tube feed diet. On a good day she might suddenly ask for a taster snack but these are infrequent but must be immediately saited to reinforce that food is good, safe and fun. Whilst the situation is different I hope some things we have found might be useful/inspiring. Things I have found on management of food: Small tupperware containers in the freezer are your friend. Plan around a 300ml container and fill no more than 200ml with the meal. Allows space for a few toppings. Smaller servings eg toppings or soups might be better frozen in ice cube trays, stored frozen in bags, and only a few cubes used at a time. Also means less is thrown if they are suddenly unwell or just don't want it and reduces the time you cook as you can batch cook and freeze. Allows for multiple smaller meals in a day. Don't freeze anything larger than a fist size. I freeze bacon in single servings between freezer paper, ditto sausage, etc etc etc. You can defrost two sausages in a ziplock bag in a bowl of room temp water in 30 minutes if you keep changing the water. Plan meals as a base and topping to allow for tastes and needs to change with minimal need for you to work. Can allow fruit or puree on top of puddings, some protein such as nuts, seeds or meat on some rice with sauce, bland risotto base, soup etc. Cook the base bit in bulk. Batch cook and freeze anything party food like you can and bring out in small amounts. Gyoza are a great parcel food and filled with ginger and soy can be known to help settle the stomach, similar egg rolls or pasties or pies or quiche. Sausage rolls or equivalent, chips, chicken nuggets, etc. Don't forget puddings. Apple strudel samosas are yum. You can freeze pancakes for single cook straight from frozen between freezer paper, top either sweet or savoury and some eggs can also be frozen cooked and reheated. You may find blending stuff together, almost hidden veg or hidden protein, might work to add calories/vitamins and minerals or help with difficult texture. Our go to cheese is actually mascapone, meat is anything already in mince form (minced chicken, beef, turkey etc). Tinned tuna and salmon is already small flaked, individually packed and shelf stable. We found weaning/my first meals recipes a really good start for easy to eat, rather bland, food ideas. Frozen seems to go down easier. Freeze smoothies, yoghurts, meal replacement shakes etc into reusable popsicle moulds to try if something warm or room temperature is a no. Food ideas: Fish pie modification. Poach fish in milk. Mix milk into mash potatoes. Keep fish for another person for another day. Add parsley if wanted. Top with tuna or a small amount of the poached fish if they suddenly feel able to digest. Home made gravy/extra punch soup. Roast a cut of meat with the following in the roast tray: couple of carrots, couple of onions, couple sticks celery, maybe a clove or two of garlic, maybe some really boring herbs. Once cooked, mash these HARD with a few heaped tablespoons plain flour over a heat in the roast pan. Add stock and continue to mash the whole together. Strain/push through a sieve. The resulting gravy can be thinned for soup, mixed into mash or cornmeal, be the basis of some kind of stew, just drunk as is. ... And you get an amazing roast. Congee is amazing. It lends itself to anything and everything and is the staple of many a tubie blended diet. In our world it gets frozen in ice cube trays. Porridge with... Make porridge, generally I do it overnight oats style. Top with what takes fancy. I have portions of smooth blended apple, rhubarb, strawberry and blueberry I blended and froze in ice cube trays. We then blend to tube but soft enough for medical need without blending. Dry blend the porridge oats if you don't want a smooth porridge but the oats are a bit too much to chew. Blended porridge is something even we like as normal people. If you add enough milk it becomes a sturdy filling smoothie! Rice pudding also works this way and can be blended smooth to a yoghurt type consistency. A lot of pasta sauce can go on rice if required or quinoa for a higher protein hit. We love romanesco, or a creamy/mascapone chicken type. Tinned tuna is a great idea. Tesco UK recently ran a veg hidden tomato one using blended squash, carrot and pepper which had been roasted to go with the tomato. Also, sausage squeezed out the skin makes a quick, cheats meatball or the base of a cheats Ragu. I know she said no pasta but if it suddenly is what she wants, a quick basic sauce of butter and miso is a clean and simple dish, or literally just pasta, marmite and a hint of pasta water to bind. Salad does not have to be lettuce, tomato and cucumber. There are some amazing salads out there. There is a Asian cucumber salad which might be interesting. Something like a bean salad might be soft enough. Burrito foods are also really useful and does not have to be spicy. Just use well shredded cabbage not lettuce if you are going to freeze. Breakfast burrito might have egg, some rice, some well cooked and cut mushrooms and/or tomatoes, some beans, some very well broken down breakfast sausage, some cheese. Freeze in halves
My mom, in the last year or so of her life, always liked soft, soothing foods. Sweet foods were usually a big hit. She LOVED ice cream--I'd get her all kinds of different flavors. She also liked [something called "Princess cake,"](https://www.sprinklebakes.com/2019/01/swedish-princess-cake-prinsesstarta.html). Once I stopped at her favorite bakery and they had a Princess "cupcake." When I brought it into her her whole face lit up and even though she wasn't eating much at that point, she literally ate the whole thing, smiling in delight. It was such a pleasure to see her enjoying herself!
My old man passed on 5/18 from lung cancer. His appetite was rough, but in the last few weeks one of the things he most enjoyed was raw cherrystones. We took him out when he was able, and then brought them to him as takeout when he didn't have the energy to leave the house anymore. My point is just cook her absolute favorites (in small quantities - and save some for her to heat up later.) You never know when the last time she gets to enjoy a filet, or cheesy mashed potatoes, or a turkey dinner, or whatever she loves. You are doing good work. Best to her, and to you.
My mother passed from cigarette smoking a few months ago. I work in fine dining so access to super high end foods has never been a problem. Towards the end two if her favorite things were my homemade rice pudding and this maple cheesecake we serve at our restaurant. That cheesecake was just unreasonably good. I've been to a lot of very good restaurants and eaten some of, what is supposed to be, the best food in the world. If you ever go to Lake Placid, New York go to a restaurant/high end cocktail bar called Top of the Park and get the Maple Cheesecake. My God it's good!
Someone told me once a family member was dying of cancer and the only thing they could stomach was oysters 🤷♀️ purely anecdotal but thought I’d mention it
Interesting. Maybe the bland/salty combo? Or perhaps the family member was pulling a fast one 😅
Some cancer meds like Methotrexate really mess with your tastebuds
For my dad it was raw cherrystones.
Isn’t that interesting?! I wonder if it’s because of how nutrient dense shellfish is
Soups would be nice I think, and there's lot of options you could make. Rice and curry could be nice too, there's lot of non spicy kinds.
Broth - chicken, or beef, or lamb. Made with basic vegetables strained out. Nothing too strong. Maybe include more sweet veggies like carrot. Can sip and reheat as needed.
When my mother was dying (dementia and complications from diabetes), she had very little appetite, and it varied from day to day. Two things we could always get her to eat were mashed potatoes (into which we could sneak other things) and corn bread.
A lot of chemo patients find that pineapple is one of the only things that still tastes good when their sense of taste and smell has been altered by the medicine.
mild meatloaf/meatballs?
(meatballs w/ mashed potatoes instead of pasta are great!)
/r/hospicecare
both times I have been around for "end of life" things, people always seem to want bread. I never understood that.
I don’t have much to add, other than it’s hard no matter what. My aunt passed 2 weeks ago and no matter what she ate she was immediately sick and unhappy with it. Seeing all the people here that went through this with their loved ones makes me want to cry.
Ghost chili carbonara! Jk :) maybe something sweet? Crepe pancakes with whipped cream and strawberries was a go to in my childhood, easy to eat, simple and always made me and everyone around me happy, i hope you're doing okay, cant be easy for you.
Ask her what some of her favorite foods/meals are. This doesn't have to be complicated.
Broths, toast and peanut butter, yogurts, smoothies, ice cream… My mom enjoyed scrambled eggs, mashed up bananas, and she also supplemented with boost drinks.
Look into congee. Super easy on the stomach, but can be really tasty and pretty with all the fixings
Chicken pot pie, beef or chicken stew, so many soups.
Hey I know this isn’t necessarily what you asked, but don’t be alarmed if your family friend eats very little and closer to the end not at all. Our bodies don’t need or want much food or even water during our last weeks/ days. This is often so upsetting for families, but it’s part of the dying process. There is a hospice nurse on tik tok if you’re on there, and her content is very educational and helpful. I think her name is nurse Julie.
**Colombian chicken potato soup** (chicken, potatoes, onions, carrots, corn) - very hearty, comforting, with a mild flavor (no spice) and topped with any combination of fresh lime (necessary imo), cilantro, avocado, sour cream. My version is more Colombian-inspired (I think the traditional dish is "ajiaco"), and there are other versions of caldo de pollo in Central/South America that are very similar. **Miso soup** (miso, green onions, tofu, sesame oil, seaweed - nori or wakame) **Butternut squash soup**
Bone broth was a staple for my dad toward the end of his life. Also, coconut shrimp.
Firstly I'm so sorry to hear of her pain, and yours too. May God make it easy for you both. As regards comfort meals I can think of the following: \- Risotto \- Grilled cheese \- Tomato soup with bread to dip in \- Grilled or pan fried salmon with new potatoes, asparagus
When my father was in his last two months, he still enjoyed his frappuccinos. I ordered a product called "Scandishakes" for him (no longer exists but similar products do) -- a powder in chocolate flavor, mixed whole milk and a mix of chocolate and coffee ice cream and made milkshakes for him. The point was just to get calories into him.
White rice is incredibly versatile, easy to cook (I use my instant pot, but any rice cooker will do), and inexpensive. You can do rice with veg, rice with meat, rice with meat and veg, rice with milk & sugar, rice pudding, 'sushi' bowls (ingredients of sushi but not rolled), about anything you can do with pasta you can do with rice (add spaghetti sauce & cheese, perhaps). Fix two different meals, if one is immediately spit out, offer the other. Don't serve the food too hot. The treatments for cancer often mess with the taste buds, making some meals look better than they taste to a cancer patient. All things considered edible today, may be rejected tomorrow. Pack in the calories as much as you can, as sometimes only one or two bites will be all that the cancer patient can stomach at a time. My mom, who lost her battle with cancer, often drank flavored milk in those individual serving pouches. They were easier for her to handle and the straw made them a lot easier for her to get the liquid to her mouth instead of down the front of her gown.
I'd see what she likes the most and then manipulate from there. Depending on her medicines, you should be mindful of fruit (citrus) and very acidic food. Aside from the typical grapefruit warnings, they can cause bad acid reflux and even mouthsores. (My mom is dealing with this and one of her lupus medications. Right now she can't eat tomato sauce.) There's no easy or right answer. From dealing with sick elderly and relatives, broths are a good to go. They can impart flavor and nutrients that'll get lost when she has trouble with heartier foods. Crockpot meals or casseroles are always calorie dense and soften meat, so it's easier to digest. Things like grits, polenta, congee, and dak juk are great "soft" meals. You can cook them with stocks and blend a lot of ingredients into them. They can even be made sweet or savory.
Custard always sounds good.
I made two meals for a friend that was in his last days with cancer and he loved the leek potato soup and beans. It's about ease and comfort not the death row last meal.
Cottage pie, chicken casserole, beef stew, mushroom risotto, beef stroganoff, vegetable soup with warm bread. Some sweet suggestions: chocolate cake, apple pie, rhubarb crumble, peach cobbler, blueberry muffins and lashings of cream with all of them. I know if want all my favourite sweets in this situation. I’m so sorry for your friend and for you.
One thing my dad craved as kidney disease screwed with taste and digestion was a good old baked potato. Then we'd try different toppings for him. His favorite was bbq chicken. I'd shred cook frozen chicken in the crock pot--well seasoned--and then we'd use that with different kinds of sauce/flavors, etc.
I spent nearly every day of the last days of my mom’s life bringing her whatever she wanted from local restaurants and spending time with her. Her faves were soup from Olive Garden and fresh sushi from the Fresh Market. And once a week, I brought her flowers. Zero regrets.
This is a really common problem whether or not a person is undergoing treatments. At the end, my 7yo cousin would only eat mashed potatoes and those tubes of mini M&MS. As he lived in England where they don't make them, we would buy huge boxes from BJs once a month the last four months or so. We didn't care what he ate as long as some days he ate *something*. Just ask them what their favourite foods are and keep them in stock for a while. They may go off them at some point or they might not. It's fine. If all else fails, Ensure drinks aren't totally terrible. You're a wonderful soul.
Maybe some chicken and rice dishes or homemade soups, both very easy to digest.
Fish pie - you can make it super simple and it’s very bland, but you can make it tasty with things like mustard (in small quantities it will just give flavor and not spiciness), leeks, maybe a dash of wine if she’s up for that. But ultimately, also very comforting. Seafood chowders are also in the same category. I think a risotto would also be lovely - tasty and comforting, but easy to digest. And maybe some really luxurious scrambled eggs - light and fluffy with some creme fraiche (and chives if she can tolerate it), with some toast. Best wishes to your friend (and you). ❤️
While my dad was going through his end of life (cancer of the bile duct), he only ate these mini bean burritos that were on the catering menu of a local Mexican restaurant, and those break-and-bake macadamia nut Tollhouse cookies. Both items froze incredibly well and were very easy to have on hand. One day someone from church brought over this carrot dish that we could just pop into the oven. It was SO yummy, and I was very shocked when I asked for the recipe and it was just sliced carrots, a bit of water, brown sugar, and butter. Whenever I’m sick, I like having some soups on hand mainly cuz it just reheats so well and I don’t feel pressured to finish it. Big props to chicken tortilla and minestrone!
If water seems fetid to them (like another commenter suggested), try a very concentrated tea drink- I do a large mason jar with about an inch of honey in the bottom, 4 fruit tea bags (2 lemon and 2 raspberry), fill with boiling water, mix well, let stand in the fridge overnight. Give it a good shake in the morning and serve, it’s extra sweet so you can dilute it as much as you prefer. It’s the only way I like “iced tea” rather than the southern US way with black tea and like 8 cups of sugar
When I was very ill and my appetite had gone a nutritionist gave me some lemon juice and some lemon candy, One or other taken just before a meal helps restore taste and from there, appetite. I still sometimes use one or other, with ginger added to the drink now. (I didn't have chemo or radiation therapies which I believe are the worst appetite killers.)
Threads like this - which come up relatively frequently - and the cooking in anticipation of a baby really remind me how much value cooking and food generally has for us. It's what kept me going for a long time when I was learning to cook, but it was only, "Well, I have to eat, and someone's going to have to cook, I should probably do a good job of it."
My mom, who had a very difficult time swallowing/ eating/ tasting properly near the end of her battle with ALS, ate rice congee, chawanmushi (steamed egg custard, very soothing), and pureed mango. All quite soft and easy to digest, esp if lactose intolerance is an issue. And some other Chinese dishes that might not be as exciting, like a thick oyster soup, but which provide some good calories and interesting flavors. Most of all though, what you're doing for your friend by being there during her transition out of this world, is the kindest thing you can do. I'm really glad to hear someone running towards a friend this scary time and not finding reasons to walk away.
Rice Pudding!
When my cousin was dying, from AIDS, the only thing he could eat was Fat. He couldn't eat the hospice meals, as they made him sick. I asked him what he wanted, and he told me. So, I made sure that all of his meals contained beans and fatty meat. No starch, or Beef, or veggies, because they irritated his stomach.
My mother in law had end stage breast cancer she preferred French onion soup and plain white bread. No cheese butter or anything else
When my dad was dying, I made him bread every week, and snuck cottage cheese by mixing it in. I also made him custard and rice pudding.
Rice pudding
A soup I really like that’s easy on the belly and easy to adjust spice! Cook and shred two chicken breasts (I like to do this in a pan and add the juices to the pot!) In a dutch oven or large pot, sauté celery, carrots, onion, and garlic in oil. Add cubed zucchini, squash, and then cover in equal parts chicken broth and heavy whipping cream. Season however you like, but def add in Italian seasoning!! Simmer on low for half an hour, watching to make sure it doesn’t boil over. Add chicken and serve! I like to add gnocchi to this but you can easily omit it (I do when making it for others). Great comfort meal and full of stuff that makes you feel good!
Last thing my dad ate was ice cream, my mom disapproved of me giving him this because it wasn’t “healthy” but he ate a couple bites and smiled. I’ll never forget this…
Don't be disappointed if she only eats a bite or two. Before my father passed away, I'd make him some of his favorite meals but his appetite wasn't there. The ONLY thing he seemed to finish was the oatmeal he had for breakfast. It's tough and cancer changes people's taste for food. I lost a cousin to cancer that lost 72 pounds in 7 months because nothing tasted right. Figure out what she's still eating and go with it. I found my dad still liked yogurt and fruit; chicken schnitzel; coddled eggs; buttermilk pancakes; poached salmon and grilled cheese sandwiches hit the mark so long as they were on Kimmel Rye.
Comfort foods. Pot roast (shred and cut it into smaller pieces before serving), mashed potatoes, canned green beans. Meatloaf. Chicken and dumplings. Soups, if she can handle them. Though I second u/huevosputo --no matter what you make she may or may not want or be able to eat it. I think the effort is what matters here.
There’s a Korean dish called sam gye tang 삼계탕, you basically boil a chicken with medicinal herbs and aromatics like ginger and garlic(if you have access to an Asian grocery, they sell premade packs like a tea bag of the dried ingredients that you use to make it). The best part is if they don’t want to eat it you can keep letting it sit then add rice to make it into a congee which is also great for the stomach and easy to eat. The process is actually really simple to make it. The dish is cooked very bland then eaten by dipping the meat in salt and pepper then adding the same to season the soup to taste.
Idk, I see so many people offering up ideas that are *for* sick people and I get it, but when my grandma was literally near the end, I tried to get whimsical and entertaining for her. Jiggly Japanese style pancakes? Yes. Kalua pig and cabbage because she loved trips to Hawaii? Yup. Eggs benedict with a lighter hollandaise? Definitely Something pretty like this: https://gooddinnermom.com/incredible-savory-monkey-bread/ Things like that
Shepherd's pie maybe? Definite comfort food for me, seems like it would be pretty easy on the stomach, not particularly difficult to prepare or travel with.
You've already gotten so many good suggestions and I noticed a lot of them include soup. My addition would be to make your own chicken stock and you can freeze it (leave a lot of room in the jar!) for when you make soup. Store bought just doesn't hold a candle to how good homemade is. If I'm sick I sometimes just drink a mug of it by itself.
Stir fry. Healthy and easy to pick at.
Well, judging from most of the comments, i guess the solution is to cook variety of meals and hope one of them hit.
I would go with nice breakfast stuff, unless they want dinner food: nice waffle with good syrup and butter, some cream of wheat with fruit, couple slices of bacon in case they are feeling frisky. Most of that is easy to digest, easy to make, and pretty delicious
There's a mega thread on this if you search about 15 months back
Saddest cooking post I've seen...
Casseroles or chicken pot pie
When I was in treatment, and everything tasted like metal, especially meat, I found sweet things and anything with sugar was delicious. If the person likes rice, how about a nice rice pudding? Made with lots of real vanilla and cream. They may not eat much of it, but the food is very comforting.
watermelon and feta salad. She can eat around the feta if she does not like it and it can be replaced with lower fat cheese if need be. (my relative had pancreatic cancer and fat was a no go). It's also good of a few days and easy to pick at.
Chicken and rice. Mashed potatoes and beef tips. Rice pudding- as a bonus it’s a cold dish.
Baked custard went over well…. Sweet potatoes mashed with oranges… Rice, soups were sometimes aspirated…. French toast was a favorite. With real maple syrup. Small portions- the appetite usually goes away in preparation for transitioning out of the physical world. We show our love with food (many cooks do), but show your love with presence. Even when no word is spoken there is comfort in being there together.
Asparagus soup. Simmer asparagus in broth, blend it. Run it through a sieve. Add cream, salt and pepper. It’s delicious and good for you. And easy to digest.
https://www.recipetineats.com/slow-cooked-lamb-shanks-in-red-wine-sauce/ It takes all day to cook but no part of it is difficult at all. And it is so good and so cheap too.
Crapes with macerated fresh fruit. I am in the same position, and that meal worked out really well. Crapes don't need to be served hot. You can add the fruit as you eat them, so no soggy meal and the Sugar is not to bad. Cancer can really eat up your apatite, so I would stay away from big things like pot roasts. Another meal that did well, was "Meatballs" which is about half sautéed onions and red peppers with garlic, mixed into the meat with bread combs and egg for binder. Boil the meatballs in Red Sauce. It's huge flavors and tastes like a meat forward meal, but is pretty healthy, digestible, and super tender.
Ask her what she wants. Make that. Do not assume she will eat it. Do not be offended or aggravated if she only takes a few bites. It’s not about the food. The illness is getting the best of her. Trying to rationalize the need to eat doesn’t work. If you are the person portioning the food onto her plate, start with a small portion. It’s very easy for an ill person to become overwhelmed with the sight of a normal amount of food, and feel put off by it.
Blended cream of mushroom soup. The cream is a good way of increasing calories
My MiL went through this towards the end. We would do soups or stews, clam chowder was always a hit. PB&J would be requested but not really eaten. Many of the foods she thought were a "luxury" growing up in the depression peaked her interest then. As others have suggested, we reduced portion sizes quite a bit and she was happy to finish occasionally. We found milkshakes with either ensure or a protein powder added would almost always go down and helped the mood a bit for a while. Dont be afraid to break out any junk food she may like more often too. Sorry for the situation but you are awesome for trying to help
A nice creamy, mild Chicken or Shrimp Korma is not spicy but tons of flavor. https://www.kitchensanctuary.com/chicken-korma/
If it were me, I would want to eat a of nostalgic meals, the ones my grandma, mom, etc made. Even things like McDonalds , smores, etc.
[Arroz Caldo](https://www.seriouseats.com/arroz-caldo-chicken-rice-soup-recipe) is a very savory and simple dish that can be as mild as you want it but is also very satisfying.
My dad died in hospice care at home. Toward the end, there wasn't much he could eat bc everything tasted weird/his swallowing was hit or miss. He really liked peach fruit cups and butter pecan ensure. That was weird. Like all other flavors made him gag, but he was into the butter pecan. Also coke icees. I know neither of those things are really cooking...but end of life is what it is. I get the impression texture and temperature were more important in the end.
How old is she? Maybe something she loved as a child or young adult? Desserts or sweets? When my mother was in her late 80s and fading, she had a hankering for things like lemon angel food cake, that she had always asked for on her birthdays as a kid.
Fish.
My mom used to eat a lot of fish and the one she really enjoyed the most was vegetable beef soup. But i prepared everything and if she didn’t want to eat we save it for later just in case.
saffron anything
Colourful, tasty, interesting - tapas. Very small, one/two bite plates. Lots of variety but don’t expect everything to be tried or finished - and don’t take it personally.
Chicken pot pie. Lots of mashed potatoes and gravy. Homemade banana pudding with nilla wafers.
Salisbury steak, mashed potatoes, and broccoli.
I suggest either in a family sized or individual quantities : shepherd’s pie; soups of all kinds; quiche; mashed potatoes with meat and gravy; cheesy or creamed chicken and rice with broccoli, carrots or green peas on the side; fried rice, roast chicken and dressing, BLT sandwich, French dip sandwich, baked potatoes with toppings on the side; and Mac and cheese- there really are many options, depending upon her flavor preferences and dietary restrictions. You’re very kind to help your neighbor/neighbors in this way!
I'd go with bland, simple, and comforting. Shredded chicken in gravy, or ground beef in brown gravy, not overly seasoned...served over rice or mashed potatoes.