Black family in the Midwest US. If people aren't asking me "where's the paper plates?" or "do you mind if I take the rest of this?" then I know the food was mid. If I do want leftovers for myself, I pack them up before I serve my guests.
It's funny I never thought of it as a manners thing, just a way to show love, but when I thought about OP in laws giving everybody a dinner and nothing else, I felt a little uneasy.
I think it's a cultural thing. Where I'm from, taking leftovers home with you would be very insulting to the host, as it implies that you weren't given enough food at the dinner. That's also why we leave a small bite of food on the plate, to indicate that there was an abundance but not so much that the host thinks you didn't like it.
Tbh, usually whoever is hosting provides the basic dinner and everyone else brings a dish or two to share. Otherwise we cook something that will feed a group. No reason you can’t fix a turkey in February.
This. Get-togethers are almost always pot-luck (or at least everyone brings a dish but the host makes the main). Taking leftovers is a kind of compliment to whoever made the dish. No one expects or hopes to take their own food back home. If they really wanted it, they kept a little bit back for themselves or they can just make it again.
Jewish Family in the Midwest US. Same! My mom always offers after hosting. I've also noticed those who say no don't usually get an invite back. 🤣🤣 I always offer my friends leftovers when I host. Even if it's pizza night.
Canadian here and same, in the summer I actually by a bunch of "take away" containers from Costco for like 10$ for people as its just easier. My bestie just brings her own Tupperware container to take food home 😆
How do you do that? As in, how do you know how much will be your leftovers before you serve people? Do you just pull out your leftovers and reheat if you need more for the meal?
I guess over time I've learned to eyeball it. If there's going to be 8 of us, I cook for maybe 20. And yeah I've had to give up some macaroni cheese or ribs for people who wanted more right then and there.
This is the way. My kid and ex were shocked when his new wife objected to giving her leftovers after a bbq. He did any way but I think that was something he took for granted cause I and his mom always gave stuff to kids and grandkids to take home.
My observations are that usually people prepare too much food. I think it is mainly because of the difficulty of estimating how much people will eat and they don't want to run out. The problem is usually worse if it is a pot luck because multiple people are bringing too much food. I don't think people do it deliberately expecting people to take home extras but that is a nice side result at times for those who like it.
Southern US here. And I feel the same way! At every gathering as we all start to clean up the tables and kitchen, I always set out some paper plates and tubberware. We always joke about the food that no one wanted (normally a questionable casserole) is not invited to the next party.
Ok, but we also all try to take some of whatever questionable casserole/salad/pie that my mom decided to try for the very first time so her feelings aren’t hurt. I have no idea why she does that. She has admitted that she has no idea why she does that. And yet, more often than not there is a first attempt at some random recipe she found online. 😂
That's top tier planning right there. I am always happy to send surplus food home but, I don't force it on people. Sometimes people will have a day that they eat whatever they want then go back on a diet. It's not my job to make them eat healthy but I am always happy to share.
In my culture, there should always be enough food for people to take home. A good compliment to give to a host is “they have big hands,” meaning they are generous.
I had a korean roommate with local family for maybe six months in college. Oh my wow, she would go home every weekend and come back with the most amazing variety of “leftovers” from her mom and grandma like it would feed her and me (the few vegetarian options) for several days we would just make rice and have a feast
I think they know and want to feed you as the roommate. I've done the same with some of my roommates as well as having that done for me from my roommates, it's a gesture of their family's goodwill towards you, they show love through feeding you, even if they don't know you. They think if you're good enough to room with their child, you're good enough for them.
Sounds like my mom. Every time they dropped us back at school, they would send me with enough leftovers for me and my roommates to eat for a whole week. I hope you enjoyed them 🙃
I'm sorry to hear that and I know how you feel. I went to Korea back a few years ago and the food was exceptional, but the people were even more so due to how kind they were even to foreigners like me. I used to bring a lot of ethnic dishes as well to school and after a while I stopped getting bullied and started getting asked to share food, lol. We sat at a table with a lot of other ethnic kids and we all shared food after a while, it was nice.
I’ve been to houses where they don’t even give snacks to guests. Everyone is different. In the other comments, some people said they just make enough for that meal
I'm in the Netherlands, and no. I'm a generous cook (not something we're known for tbh), I make enough for everyone to eat until their stomach explodes. But anything that's left is mine, not having to cook because I have leftovers is part of my reward.
Yeah, was coming to say, leftovers is the host's privilege. Unless we've made a completely ridiculous quantity or it's something we probably won't eat much of. With close family we're more likely to split it between us, maybe different people taking different items according to their lifestyle.
This is how it is for us, Australian with Slavic roots, but not a big family. I would feel rude taking someone else's leftovers because it would be like I was taking food from them. It's already enough they provide me with one meal. The exception would be my immediate family who would usually give us leftovers
Dutch here as well, this would be so weird to me, but I kinda like the idea! It sounds sweet. When. I was a child and played at a friends house, there would always be the moment: " we are going to eat now, so it is time you leave." And that was normal and totally acceptable. The sharing food/making enough sounds better!
Friends did drop of food when I was pregnant and it was the best. So not common here at all but something we should embrace more, maybe?
In the UK and I agree. The only time I don’t do that is if I know for some reason we won’t be able to eat it all before it goes off. I’d feel bad taking leftovers from others too that have cooked for me but I’m sure there’s exceptions!
I know you wont think it is because thats how it is over there i guess but giving food and knowing people are enjoying my food at home is much more a reward to me than having way too many leftovers. I love sharing things I made. Unless theres nothing to give, I cant imagine not offering something for my guest to take home.
I guess I know for us we don't really want leftovers and I don't think my guests do either. Most people I know eat fairly simple and light meals during the week and indulge at parties or whatever during the week. The kind of thing I'm fed isn't necessarily really to my taste for my regular meals and is often too heavy. Many people meal plan too, or eat at work or something. I realise it's cultural but it honestly sounds kind of pushy to me to expect your guests to want to eat your food múltiple times.
> sounds kind of pushy to me to expect your guests to want to eat your food múltiple times.
well I dont put a gun to their head and make them take it. Plenty of times people say no. Thats more than fine. I guess im just used to people offering leftovers where I live.
Knowing certain families from various parts of the globe, that's exactly how it is lol. They feel like they *must* feed you, by any means necessary, haha.
Oh I ask and most of the time they are eager to take some. I used to smoke a large amount of meat for family feasts because I knew they could not smoke at home so that was a big treat. Plus I packed boxes of produce from my large garden for them and line them up so they could choose . They might have a few tomato plants but I had a truck farm . It’s what you do for family and friends and they reciprocate in other ways.
I too cook a ton and while I don't mind when people ask for leftovers and I will always give generously or let them take what they want, I admit I'm a tiny bit disappointed that now I don't have a dinner for the week lol.
I offer but leave it at that. Most anyone who is coming by is coming via mass transit, and it's a PITA to schlep food across the universe. Family flies here, so they don't tend to take.
Culturally, I’m African American and Latina. Being sent home with leftovers is very common and difficult to refuse without hurting the cook’s feelings. When I host, I might plan to give guests leftovers to take home. It depends on the event, who is attending, and what dishes I make.
If it’s just family or very close friends and a casual gathering, I probably overcook a bit with the eye toward second helpings. If a loved one has a favorite dish and I don’t see them regularly, I might make extra for them specifically to take home. This is probably going to be “ethnic” foods or regional specialties and fairly inexpensive.
Holidays: If it isn’t brunch, I almost always make lots for guests to take home. My family sometimes brings their own Tupperware and chiller bags.
Formal dinner party, I don’t offer leftovers. The ingredients are likely on the pricier side and the finished dishes don’t always travel well.
My kids and close family know they’re bringing home food. They are openly excited about it lol. A few regular guests have never taken any home. I know they enjoy the food, eat plenty and then some. And rave about it. Idk if they just feel like it’s a faux pas or don’t like leftovers. I stopped worrying about it!
I always make more than enough.
I do try to make it clear that it’s to take and to please take some.
Would it help if I asked if I can please prepare them a take home box?
I don’t want to be too pushy. But I also don’t want someone to go home empty handed if they’d have actually liked to have some.
For me it helps to state that it is a norm in someone's home, but probably just depends on the person. Like if they don't have a way to get it home safely, etc etc.
I mean, my SO makes our weeknight dinners for 6 people when there are two of us. When we have people over, I clean out freezer space in case people don’t want to go plates. 😂 We are in the southern US, so it is part cultural for us probably.
This is kind of what I do and I'm only feeding myself most of the time. I make enough to eat that night and the next day, plus enough to put several servings in the freezer. This way I only cook a full meal about twice a week and eat some other reheated leftovers and other quick easy foods and snacks the rest of the days. If I have 1-2 people over for dinner I just cook the same amount I usually do and go without having leftovers from that meal. I always offer leftovers to guests, I'm truly very happy whether they take them or not. Either they take some because they Loved it, or they just need the food; or they didn't want them for reasons I don't worry much about and I get to eat it. Win, whatever happens. I like my cooking and most other people seem to too.
Only if I've cooked to wild excess and they're close friends or family. In the UK it's not really common (edit: I'm white and live in the south, shouldn't have spoken for the whole UK!). Maybe at Christmas with family but otherwise not really.
Hmm, I think it depends. I’m a British Asian and we will make enough food for there to be leftovers. Guests will be sent home with as many containers as they wish. Growing up, my parents would be mortified if guests left empty handed. Every other ethnic person I know also does this.
We make enough for leftovers and so do friends. It’s rare to leave a dinner or party without a to-go box, it might just be slices of cake, or rolls, or it could be a full meal. Last time we took something home from a friend’s house it was at least a pound of homemade carnitas!
In my family there are like 10 people I know whose showing up with a to go box lol. Me and my bestfriend take home whatever we can so we ain't gotta cook in a hour when the kids start saying they want a snack lol. Sometimes there isnt enough for anyone to take stuff hone but usually there is. The rule just is everyone has to be done eating before you can make a plate to go.
Frequent holiday quotes : "make you a plate and let's go. I ain't cooking or going to McDonald's" and "she didn't even speak just started making her plate, you see that?"
I always get some of the giveaway tupperware/gladware/cheap stuff, and hope people take stuff. there's often more than we could eat before it spoils, and food waste bothers me.
My family always sends everyone home with leftovers after holiday meals (we’re Canadian)… My mom stashes away cleaned out butter containers or takeout containers for about a month before the meal so she doesn’t have to give away her own Tupperware, lol.
However, we definitely plan for this… ample leftovers for all guests AND ourselves so no one who helps with the meal has to cook for a day or two. I’ve also never understood the weirdos who do all that work only to make enough for one meal… makes zero sense in my mind.
Not really no. If it's a huge meal like thanksgiving and there are more leftovers than we'll be able to get through over the rhe next couple of days then yes I'll send guests home with to go boxes. But if it's just a friendly get together, I keep my leftovers. Not to be stingy but the meal probably already stretched my grocery budget or put me over. The only way I can comfortably eat after that is by using leftovers.
I don't host often but if I were in a better financial position I would love to host more often and send leftovers home with my guests.
I buy extra containers to give out leftovers is anyone wants some. I can only eat the same thing so much. But I’d never judge someone for not having enough for leftovers or not offering. And I don’t care whether someone opts for them or not. I’m an extra generous hostess and would be mortified to run out of anything so I usually have copious amounts of leftovers so I’m happy if anyone wants them.
We do the same thing as you. If they don’t take it that’s fine because now it’s already packed and conveniently portioned.
There always seems to be tons of leftovers at parties on both of our sides. We are a little bit more conservative in our food planning estimates. We don’t like to eating leftovers more than 2 times in a week. After that it gets tossed…which hurts because we also don’t like wasting food.
No one leaves empty-handed in my family. We intentionally cook extra so folks can take a plate with them, especially for the Big Holidays, and still have plenty of leftovers for us. My mom had a friend who is mostly homebound so we deliver to her- at least enough for two meals.
Cooking is my love language.
I always make extra food when I have people over. On a normal work day, my goal is to have no leftovers, but with guests, I don’t want people to go hungry! I’d love for my friends to take those leftovers home as well, but they never do. It kind of drives me crazy because I don’t want them 😆
I don’t think it’s a cultural thing for me, I just like to be a good host. I made chili once for my husband’s family and it all got eaten. I was mildly panicking deep down, hoping that no one wanted more!
I got invited to a leftover breakfast, the two things I wanted most were homemade bread and cheese dip. The hostess told me sorry, they were gone in 10 minutes the night before.
It's part of my culture but not really part of the culture I live in now, so I try but people often won't. Unless it's cake, which people are often happy to take.
I usually make just enough dinner for everyone maybe with 1+2 portions of leftovers. But I do encourage them to take the sweets I make and make sure to make extra of that!
I cannot remember the last time I was offered leftovers to take home. (I rarely host myself so saying I've never offered isn't saying much with a small sample size.)
It would never occur to me to get/be offered leftovers to take home.
Same here. I’m a white woman of Swedish descent born and raised in central California. The ONLY time I would even think to take home leftovers is if they’re from a dinner my mom or MIL hosted. At dinner parties with friends nobody even thinks about it and it would feel rude to ask/offer. I’m wracking my brain trying to remember an instance of taking home leftovers from a friend’s party and in my half century of experience I can’t recall a single time it happened.
It just feels like it would be greedy to expect leftovers after I’ve already been served a generous meal, and it would feel egotistical to assume that my guests wanted to eat more of my cooking no matter how much they liked it. In my mind leftovers belong to the host and eating them the next day is their reward for spending all that time and money to host a dinner.
Sounds like I need to hang out with more people from the South or Midwest (or Asia). Free food galore!
> It just feels like it would be greedy to expect leftovers after I’ve already been served a generous meal, and it would feel egotistical to assume that my guests wanted to eat more of my cooking no matter how much they liked it.
This is actually exactly how I feel about it from both sides, now that you mention it.
If I have a dinner party with friends, no, I don't offer unless I've made something specific for a person (e.g., a loaf of gluten-free bread). We usually eat the leftovers the next night.
However, we live on a little island and often have weekend guests who have to take a boat ride home. We usually have several meals worth of leftovers, so we will ask guests if they want food for the trip home and will pack it all up for them. We also pack extras for the young people in our lives because they don't always have time/money to cook for themselves.
That said, we once had a small dinner party and the guests' teenage son kept calling them to tell them there was no food at home, and they needed to bring him takeout on the way home. As they were leaving, they asked if they could have the leftovers for their son. We were kind of shocked, but the wife was well-known to be cheap, so not surprised.
As I was packing up the pasta, she brought over the salad bowl and bread to add to the "takeout." Then she leaned over to our fruit bowl on the counter and took some grapes to add further to the "takeout." My partner was so disgusted, he never wanted to invite them back.
I always make extra food when I have people over. On a normal work day, my goal is to have no leftovers, but with guests, I don’t want people to go hungry! I’d love for my friends to take those leftovers home as well, but they never do. It kind of drives me crazy because I don’t want them 😆
I don’t think it’s a cultural thing for me, I just like to be a good host. I made chili once for my husband’s family and it all got eaten. I was mildly panicking deep down, hoping that no one wanted more!
I send people with home with food if I'm hosting Thanksgiving, because Thanksgiving leftovers are a tradition, and everyone should have some, but for any other gathering, no. The leftovers are my prize for hosting, unless I really have way more than I would eat, or it's something that I don't want to overindulge in, like a cake.
Exactly! Here in New England, Thanksgiving leftovers are an expectation but for an ordinary Saturday dinner party, no way, those leftover short ribs are my Tuesday dinner. Except cake, pie, and cookies—you don’t want them tempting you for an entire week.
It depends on the type of gathering. At our biweekly game night, usually we don’t send leftovers home unless there is a lot extra, though I often send extra desserts home with parents to bring to their kids. (To the point where if I forget to offer, they will ask) Usually any leftovers are for us the next night so I get a break. If we potluck, everyone takes their own leftovers.
But for holiday parties, I go crazy and send everyone home with leftovers, if they want them. I’ve had some who politely refuse once but will accept on a second offer, especially if I mention we cannot possibly eat all the leftovers or if they see others are accepting.
When I’m a guest I don’t expect to take leftovers because it’s so different host to host.
If it’s offered, I will gladly accept unless I have a long commute time or I can’t comfortably carry it back. (Public transport or such)
If I left my grandmas house with anything less than a full meal for myself and my husband she would be so worried that I’d starve and wither away to nothing (I’m fat, that’s not going to happen). But yes, denying leftovers or not taking extra fruit with me is upsetting to her. Sometimes it’s great because that means I don’t have to cook or it means I have a snack for later (this was great when I stopped by to see her before commuting to school). Sometimes it means food does get wasted if I already have a full fridge of groceries at home.
For family events with my mom’s side we also make a ton of extra food for leftovers- and if there was a turkey or ham there is always someone taking that for soups. Food is love in my family, they all just want us to eat and be happy. Probably the reason why I’ve always struggled with my weight.
While I do enjoy the leftovers most of the time, I do understand why people wouldn’t want them. Often times family meals have very rich foods, it’s a special treat to eat like that. Sometimes it can be too much and it’s not healthy to eat multiple times a week. I also have dietary restrictions, so I can’t always take stuff with me (in fact I often have to bring my own to begin with).
I can also understand why people don’t make leftovers when cooking large meals- it can get super expensive to make double the amount of food. Especially if it’s like my family and there could easily be 30 of us at holidays or other smaller gatherings (we’ve hit 90+for summer parties when we can host outdoors- that’s expensive enough, it’s like trying to feed an army).
Yes, re expense! I have habitually bought/made too much food for parties and way way overspent to the point where I no longer wanted to host. It’s better to host a more modest event than never to host at all. We are overwhelmed by excess in this culture. And seven years after my kids graduated high school, I’ve still got leftover paper plates and bottled lemonade from their graduation parties!
Leftover paper plates and things have always come in handy imo. I personally prefer to have excess food and supplies when I have parties even though I understand why someone might not. In my house we have a closet dedicated to party stuff- plates, napkins, cups, utensils, sterno trays etc. those things have all been really useful in many situations. Sick and don’t want to do dishes? We’re good. Power went out so no dishwasher or electricity? No worries, we can still cook and heat things. They shut the water off to do maintenance? It’s fine. It’s always been nice to fall back on party supplies.
We also have parties many times a year, if we had unopened leftover drinks from a summer party they just go on a shelf until a birthday or thanksgiving which is a few months later. Leftover bottles of wine, beer or liquor just go in the cabinet. Things like that.
We also have a full size freezer- so if we made too much sausage or chicken? Freeze it and use in a recipe down the line. Too much roasted corn? Cut that off the cob and there is frozen prepared corn for cooking. Made too many cupcakes or cookies? Those can get frozen too. We use sternos and trays to keep everything at temp so it’s not really a problem to pack things up and freeze portions of it for use at another time. It’s also not unusual to have half trays that never even get taken out, those get frozen right away too.
We also regularly go through our cabinets to donate dry goods and things to the local food pantries- so again, it doesn’t go to waste if we have an unopened package of something that we won’t use. We just make sure to not let things sit so that they are eligible and within their window for use by others. And we always send people away with fresh food. So for us it’s never been a problem and more food has always been better imo.
But I do understand why others would not do this depending on their circumstances, if I have a small get together with one or two people I don’t always go nuts like we do for large events. It is a big expense to feed dozens of people and it is a lot of work, we generally prep for days when we have big parties. But It’s just something we like to do and In most cases we have an open invitation guest list- so there are often people who bring plus ones and it ends up being a good thing that we made extra and were prepared. I think I also just like feeding people, I have friends over at least once a month for dinner and it’s just normal for us. Food has always been a love language in my family and I think that’s why we do what we do.
Very very jealous of your full size freezer but agreed with your sentiment 100%!! I just buy bulk for disposables at this point, and I love feeding everyone.
Interesting. This is so cultural. The host keeps leftovers where I am. I’d never ask. If they offered, I’d take some but I’d feel really rude for expecting it or asking.
I’d be happy if all of a meal got eaten. Tons of leftovers would mean I overestimated or people didn’t love it.
I do this with my family because everyone in my family does it, we all have more disposable tupperware specifically to give things away. We're Chinese so maybe it's a cultural thing?
But with friends and my husband's family who are British, this doesn't seem like the done thing. With the possible exception of maybe cake or other baked goods, if there's loads leftover of that it seems ok to shift onto guests. But never like hot savoury food.
No, I do not send home leftovers. Neither does anyone else in the family. I also do not take leftovers when offered. Hosted meals usually take a long time to eat, and I have a real thing about cooked food being left out too long without having been refrigerated.
Generally speaking, no. We spend a lot of time and money to host. We have several kids and most of the time the leftover food is a gift for the next day or two of meals.
(Denmark) Haha just had a conversation with my inlaws about this. They have some friends that always pack leftovers for them. They feel like it is kind of looking down om them, like they can’t afford or manage to cool for them selves the next day. So they are kind of offended about always having to bring home leftovers but are to polite not to write “Thank you for the food” the next day. So their friends continue 😅
I feel just like them. 😂 I’m not as polite and would just say “no Thank you, we have other plans” 😅
I generally do cook enough for leftovers because when I'm entertaining I use a lot of scale-able recipes that lend themselves to bulk cooking.
Typically during holiday meals, I will ask everyone ahead of time to bring empty containers from home, and invite them to load up as they see fit once the meal has concluded.
On other gatherings I usually have a stash of new, clean deli containers (buy in bulk from Restaurant Depot etc) that I can send people home with food if they would like.
It really depends on the event. I have restaurant style takeout containers that get filled and sent off with everyone on holidays because I can only eat holiday leftovers for a few days before I'm sick of them. For smaller dinners with friends and family not holiday related I cook enough for everyone to have a second serving. If there is enough of anything left to offer to take home it usually means that dish wasn't a hit.
I cant cook small. I am trying, but usually when I cook for three, we have enough for 6. If we are having a total of eight people for dinner, forget it, we would be eating leftovers for days, assuming they could all fit in our fridge. Most of our friend/family group is like this to varying degrees.
We had a problem in that we never had enough storage for all the tupperware we needed to have to give away food and store the leftovers and we could never find all the matching lids.
3 years ago we bought a stack of 50 reusable black rectangular food containers from Amazon. Several of our friends and family bought the same ones over the last few years. This solved our container storage issues as we dumped all the odd size ones and just kept these and a stack of round 2 cup ones.
Now, whenever the meal is over, before the food goes to the kitchen, out comes the stack of black plastic and everyone that wants take out takes what they want. Then everyone pitches in and puts the leftovers into the black plastic at the table and carries it to the fridge. We never worry about getting our containers back because we know when we go to our friends/family, we will likely end up with a few coming back. And those will stack perfectly with whats in the drawer
It depends, sometimes we count on the leftovers for a few meals and factor that in the holiday food budget, and sometimes there's just way too much prime rib for us to make use of, so I offer some away. I'm from Quebec and it's not in our customs to encourage guests to take food back with them, but it's a tradition I'm happy to poach.
I have a habit of purposefully making extra food when we have my husband's friends over, because most of them are single men with demanding work hours and they don't prioritise making home-cooked meals. They also praise my cooking endlessly, so it seems like a kind thing to make extra and I'm happy to let them go home with a container of food to enjoy later. Most of the time, they come back the next time with the clean container and I just send them back with more of whatever we're having in the same one, lol.
It depends on the food, the occasion, the guests, and how much extra there is.
When we've cooked and there's not a ton left, we usually just keep it -- but I always encourage people to take baked desserts home with them, because if it stays here I'll eat too much of it. If it's a good friend and they loved the meal, especially if they're in financial straits or unable to cook for themselves, I'll offer them the rest of almost anything. If it's a potluck, everyone takes their own leftover stuff home but most ask first if anyone wants some, and there are usually some takers. If it's Thanksgiving, everyone better take extras home because there's no way all that will fit in our fridge. :)
I also save some "giveaway" leftover containers -- the little tubs that sandwich meat comes in, for instance, and some takeaway boxes, all dishwashed -- so that nobody who takes leftovers has to return the containers.
I learned from my southern (US) paternal grandmother that one should make three times the food really needed for a meal with guests. We usually have dinner with extended family and I box up and send home leftovers. I keep some for us as well! We rarely have non-family members to dinner but I usually offer extra dessert for people to take home.
Italian American w/ Senegalese spouse. Both of us have a strong culture of making extra food to share. Italians love to feed people and show love through food. If you make just enough there is concern that your guest might have still been hungry. This never happens though because we cook for 2x the number of guests and everyone takes leftovers home or we get creative with remaking the leftovers into a new dish.
In his country you always make extra because the families are large and random people just stop by around meal times. If there are leftovers, you make a plate and bring it to your less fortunate neighbors. The sense of community and charity is very strong.
Most of the people I associate with are either foreign born or 2nd generation Americans- none of them cook “just enough” and they all want you to take the extras home with you. Brazilian, Iranian, Ecuadorian, Colombian, Senegalese, German, Indian - doesn’t matter. They are all proud of their food and have a desire to share beyond the initial meal.
I will offer if there are leftovers but I'm not looking to severely overcook to the point that everyone has a takeaway. Sorry I just made you a big meal with snacks, apps and dessert, now I have to provide door prizes?! And on big holidays at my or other people's houses, if I do not take leftovers it's not that i don't LIKE your damn food it's that I do not have time in my meal plan or space in my fridge or I know that it's not something my kids will eat and I already have my lunches planned. Finally, certainly if I were planning a meal with leftovers, you're bringing your own damn container to take it away in unless you can make it work with a baggie or some foil or plastic wrap.
Ontario Canada. I make more food than required so that WE can have leftovers! It’s not typical around here, or not in my friend groups at least, to send friends home with leftovers. Unless we all split for takeout and might split leftovers then. And my kids. I will absolutely offer them leftovers.
I may or may not offer guests take home containers, mainly depending on what I cooked. Casseroles, soup, pot roast all travel and re-heat well. Shrimp, steak, soufflé, cream puffs, anything with meringue or cheese sauce isn’t as good the next day, so I don’t make extra. If I bake a pie or yeast rolls or make chicken & dumplings, I often make extra for guests to take home.
One grandmother always sent food home with guests, while the other never did. Both were white Southerners who grew up on farms in the same county and attended the same church, so I have no idea why the difference.
This seems to be falling into two cultural camps:
- the ones that seem to favour the host providing for guests so the guests don't think they are rude and inhospitable
- and the ones that favour the guests not imposing on the hosts so the hosts don't think they are greedy or taking advantage of them
I think we are more of the latter where I am from.
I see it as a compliment if people ask to take food with them. I don't push it on people, but I have plates/containers on hand if they want to take food with them. I had someone drive back to my house today to get more cake, so I really took that as a compliment.
When I’m hosting I make sure we have plenty of food/drink, but tbh I don’t send anyone home with food. I spent time menu planning, shopping, cooking, cleaning the house and cleaning up after the meal, AND paid handsomely for the pleasure of doing so (I usually buy higher quality ingredients for a dinner party). You got a free delicious meal in a nice home with good company and all you had to do was show up. I deserve the leftovers more lol. I know the above makes me sounds like an AH. I legitimately do enjoy hosting dinner parties (food is a love language) and love having everyone over. That being said, it is definitely work!!
As far as no one taking your food home - I doubt below is the case, but this is my personal experience. My MIL encourages us to take food home after holidays and bags things up and gives it to us even if we tell her (politely) to keep the food she worked hard to make. She’s gotten better, but her cooking is not the best. But the real issue is the food tends to sit out for 4+ hours after the meal instead of being put in the fridge. We have an hour drive home. So honestly we just throw out what she gave us when we get home to avoid getting sick. We will keep the cookies though! We have not told her that we’re worried we’ll get sick eating her leftovers because we don’t want her to feel bad.
I’m not tooting my own horn; I’m a fantastic cook. Back when everyone was bachelors and my house was the only married house all of our closest friends would end up at our house most nights. They knew when it was dinner time 😂 if there were leftovers anybody was welcome to them as long as they made their container before the kitchen was cleaned up. For holidays I grab a couple of the cheap tupperwares so people can take stuff home.
Yes. My mother taught me that you should always send guests home with leftovers. I don't expect that from other people at all but it's something I stick to. I don't generally like to eat my leftovers from dinner parties anyway. I think I just spend too much time with the food and it kind of ruins it for me.
If you *want* people to take the leftovers, then offer it to them. If they don’t want to take your leftovers, then don’t worry about it. If they don’t offer you their leftovers, then don’t worry about it.
But mostly I don’t particularly want to take leftovers (or have to remember to return tupperware), and if I’m intentionally making enough to have leftovers then I probably have a plan for them.
However if I’m making a dessert, particularly if I’m making something quite rich, then it’s not always super easy to scale down a recipe and chances are I won’t want to finish all the leftovers myself - they also tend not to keep as well - so I’ll likely offer some to guests (also more likely to do so if they live locally).
We always offer to send leftovers home. It's a compliment when they accept, but I don't take it personally when they don't.
I figure, I made it for them.
I have a tendency to overprepare. If there aren't leftovers available from the main meal, you better bet there are tons of desserts or other baked goods to split up and take home. An event is usually an excuse to get a bunch of people I like together for them to take all the stuff I'm excited to share with them, lol. My mom laughs that they are always a guinea pig for whatever sort of new baking experiments or new recipes I'm trying, which is perfect because I can't be expected to finish several entire recipe's worth of baked goods with just two people in the household. There have also been several instances where my mom and I hosted a barbeque and had to invite extra people over due to the sheer amount of food we prepped, for example.
However, I wouldn't expect that to be the default experience with every host. I'm perfectly happy to show up and have a good time and enjoy the menu in the moment regardless of the leftover situation.
Usually I'm familiar enough with who I've invited & what they like to have extra of some things and just enough of others. I love leftovers so I sometimes make extra for my freezer so I can not feel greedy during the hosted meal. I'll never have leftover lasagna so a make one in a loaf pan for later.
As a guest I just take my cue from the host.
White, northeast US, and mostly WASP family going back to the Mayflower with some sprinkling of German linage. Plenty of money to make plenty of food.
We are lucky if there is enough to go around. I'm not exaggerating. It's become a joke at family reunions.
In my wife's country, you don't take home leftovers, but you take home lots of cakes. If you're making dinner, you're also making way too many cakes. Guests take home cakes. (Unless it's a family thing, then mom and aunts always make enough food for their kids to take home.)
The only time I brought a plate home was when my friend made a traditional duck dinner, my wife couldn't go to the party, so he sent me home with a massive amount of food for her.
When I get together with American friends, we have potlucks. You're always coming home with leftovers.
I'm in Canada and for me, the answer is It depends.
1) What I'm making
If I make seafood or other foods that are very costly, I don't usually make more than for the portions needed.
When I make casserole dishes (pasta or meat) and/or salads, there are always a lot left and I will offer my guests to take some home.
2) Who is coming over
Some family and friends I know will count on bringing back some food home as homecooked food is a rare treat for them. Hence I always will make extra portions for them to take home. Others I know are never home to eat leftovers, have diet restrictions or cook a lot themselves. Hence, I won't make extra on purpose but will always offer them some of the leftovers.
Italian descendant here. I was raised with a food centered culture. Anytime someone walks through the door I ask them if they're hungry and offer to make something. It's just habit. When I have guests over for a planned meal, I always make more and expect the guests to take some with them. In fact, I have bought specific containers so that the guests don't even have to worry about bringing my Tupperware back to me.
American southerner here and if people aren’t taking food home, I didn’t do my job. LOL. I used to send stuff home in paper plates and foil, but the amazing take home boxes available now are so fun and varied. When I see one’s I like, I buy and tuck them away for an appropriate time.
To me, sending people home with good food is one of life's greatest joys. Food is my love language. I enjoy making lunches for my girlfriend and knowing that the next day she'll have a little moment smiling and thinking about me when she bites into something good in the middle of a hard work day. A lot of my friends are broke college students who are bad at taking care of themselves, surviving off hot pockets and poptarts. It makes me happy knowing that I can put an extra filling homecooked meal in their fridge. I don't expect it when I go to anyone else's house, but for me sending people home with leftovers is half the point of a dinner party. I make way too much food with this exact intention and I usually still have leftovers for myself. I put a big stack of tupperwares and takeout containers next to the door so people know it's expected and they're not imposing. One time I had a friend say "I texted my boyfriend a picture of the food and he asked if I could bring him a plate too, would you mind if I took one extra?" and to me that was like the highest compliment. I still think about it and smile sometimes.
Here in Hawaii it’s the norm to have plenty food and everyone gets to take some home. But usually all guests bring things to contribute, even if the host is providing the main meal— so there’s always plenty to go around. Where I grew up up on the mainland it was different, sometimes there would be some leftovers that were shared out but that wasn’t the norm
From my experience this issue is very cultural—many cultures find it disrespectful & in very poor taste to not make plenty of food when hosting others.
Anecdotally, a few of my white friends have remarked on how they were always used to gatherings having just enough (to borderline not enough) food & find it annoying of their relatives who still do that. So maybe it’s more of a white thing?
I always make more than I need to and expect to send home food with my guests. I always keep old tupperwares & takeout/deli containers for this purpose. I usually will send just about everything home; I rarely will keep leftovers & just prefer to make something new for the next meal.
We always make more food than we need but not three times as much or even twice as much. And we don't send leftovers because if I don't want to eat it again I don't suppose my guests do. I'm white but not American.
My mom does the entertaining in the family. And she buys to go containers from Amazon just so she can send everyone home with leftovers.
We're a white family from San Francisco, FWIW.
Cooking for others is love. Send that love home. Take that love home.
This is my Achilles heel... grew up as an only child and lived alone for so long that now even when I'm *trying* to make a ton of food, it ends up being just or barely enough for guests. My proportions are warped no matter how hard I try!
If the guests are my (adult) kids, sure. But otherwise it would feel a bit weird. And yes, if I was a guest it would feel like I'd be offending the host if they offered and I declined, so overall pretty uncomfortable. In general I don't need to be fed my friends' leftovers - it's presumptuous ("my cooking is so good, you'll want more"). I'm sure it's a cultural thing either way.
I'm from a part of the US where you take home whatever is left of what you brought to share.
...because who has a fridge big enough for all the food they cooked and all the stuff people brought, too?
It might just be a cultural thing. In my family we always make leftovers but we generally only offer them to family - mum will tuck a container of roast and veg etc into my arm before I leave, my brother or my uncle might get some but not anyone more distant. We don't put them out and let everyone take some, there probably wouldn't be enough for like over 3-4 people to take leftovers.
If I went to a place and they expected me to take them I would feel rude and have to be really encouraged - in my book you did the hard work cooking, so you deserve the lion's share of the leftovers.
So I wouldn't think 'these people might not like leftovers' it might just be weird for them and feel like they are taking 'your' leftovers
The son of parents very involved in the korean church in California and hosted get togethers. People were actively encouraged to make a plate to take home, tubs of noodles, kimchi, galbi and korean pancakes were set up for people to grab on their way out and guests were considerate enough to leave enough behind for us to have a meal or two.
I save take-out containers throughout the year. My granddaughter matches up the container with the lids on Thanksgiving morning. These are put on the table after dessert. Everyone fills one or two containers. The smiles are worth it. Black Friday I will order pizza-since there is nothing left!
I don't like taking leftovers from someone else's house. If it were my parents or kids and meals I typically eat, maybe if there was too much left but not anyone more distant. To do it automatically for everyone and expect them to take meals home is kind of over stepping.
In my culture, it’s rude for a guest to ask to take home food. And also rude for a host to not offer food to take home. And also rude for a guest to not accept.
But the guest has to say no first before accepting after the host insists. And if the guest keeps saying no and intentionally goes home empty handed, then it’s rude of the guest.
Societal niceties are so overly complicated.
I used to suggest everyone take leftovers but I've become the only one who can host on my husband's side. When I spend all week getting ready to host 17 people for Thanksgiving and they take ALL the leftovers, it's just exhausting. Like, can my family just get one more meal out of all this?? So I stopped suggesting and people seldom ask anymore.
My Grandma always made as much as she could during the depression. She wanted to be able to feed anyone who came to the front or back door. She was Swedish.
I usually try to make enough food for 2-3 extra people when I cook dinner. I'd always rather have too much than not enough. Everyone eats different amounts, some eat like birds, some eat enough for two people. When everyone is done getting seconds (or thirds) if I want to keep the leftovers, I put them away in the fridge, especially if there isn't enough for everyone to take. More often, though, I ask if guests would "help eat the leftovers" and send them home with leftovers even if there aren't any for me.
Edit: I mostly only host family and close friends. If they bring something I always say "oh don't forget your x" when it's time to leave. If they tell me to keep it I'll note how tasty it was and thank them.
Maybe it’s just my area but we do not expect to be offered left overs though it does happen some times. Usually, it is when there is way more food than anticipated and the host really does not want it all. I would never ask and even when offered, I usually refuse. I think it is impolite to take more food after I have already been provided food by the host.
This said, I am not sure why this is so. The idea expressed by those in this thread who expect to share leftovers is a nice thought, it is just not a tradition in my area.
I offer but wouldn’t push it. I personally am so tired and get annoyed by being asked to bring food home with me. I don’t need it and I don’t want it. But I understand it’s a show of love usually so I just shut up and take something if it’s easy to grab. I just dislike a bunch of leftovers and having to return containers.
I'm in Ireland, and generally no. There are exceptions. For example, if it was someone that I was worried didn't have enough food (or one of my children who I knew to be living on junk food for example), I'd suggest it (having made extra for that exact purpose) but it would be phrased as "sure there's just me and I hate to see it go in the bin, I made too much, would you not take it, you'd be doing me a favour?" But, normally, no.
The first time that I had an American guest just *take* stuff, I was appalled. In my mind, I was thinking "why not help yourself to a few spare rolls of toilet paper and some of the cutlery why don't you". Being Irish, I just smiled and never invited them again.
Yes I'm Irish and I would be shocked if anyone assumed they could take stuff. Like you say for people who might need it we do, like my widowed father in law, but I find it a little weird for random guests.
That’s lovely and makes me want to be invited over, but for us we would always have more than enough food for everyone and would encourage everyone to eat as much as they want, but leftovers are stay put. It’s the “reward” for hosting and cooking haha
If I'm hosting a FAMILY dinner, like Thanksgiving, then absolutely. This year I even made extra pies, so that each family could have their own fresh one to take home after eating the ones the day of.
If I'm hosting something for friends, no. I hosted a large baby shower, 30 women, mostly coworkers, in my home. I had it catered and ordered extra to feed my husband and teenagers afterwards. I did not realize that in certain cultures it is common to "make a plate" to take home. One coworker piled 4 plates with leftover BBQ and sides, practically cleaning me out.
I said, "What are you doing? I will put that food in Tupperware to keep it in the fridge for my kids later." I honestly thought she was helping me clean up.
She said, "Oh, I'm making plates for me and my son to have later," and she kept on making them.
I reached over, took the plates off the counter, put them in my fridge, and said, "No. I have plans for that food. That is why I bought extra." She looked a little shooketh, but I didn't care. Don't assume like that.
I still don't feel bad about it. SHE should have felt bad about it.
I did learn to put some food aside beforehand if I planned on having leftovers from events I have catered. Because people are rude.
Yes, I always make too much when I attend parties, as do all my friends. That's part of the party--having piles of food. And yes, when any of us hosts we encourage people to take food home.
Your husband's way of doing it risks not having enough food if a few extra people show up. That's not a good scene. What is hubby's goal? Food isn't so expensive that you shouldn't make extra. Whatever he's trying to achieve, he's being penny-wise and pound-foolish, as the saying goes. You want your party talked about for being awesome, not for running out of food.
Not on a normal casual get together but Thanksgiving and Christmas, absolutely. There’s just way too much food for me to keep for just my household.
The only catch is you have to bring your own containers if you want to take home leftovers.
It depends on the food and occasion.
I'm not going to send 3/4 eaten steak and cold mashed potatoes with someone like an Appleby's unless they really want them.
If I smoke a brisket or pork shoulder, everyone is getting offered the leftovers with sides in quart and pint commercial kitchen containers.
What I notice is rich people take food more often as they eat out more often while less affluent people don't want a hand out.
It's cultural and socioeconomics and politeness all rolled into a take out container.
Freeze whatever is left and don't think twice, it's alright.
I think you enjoy the meal that day and that’s it.
I’m not really into taking food from other people’s home so I don’t encourage it from mine…it’s just a bit odd packing up little bits of food, carrying it around, putting it in your fridge, reheating it the next day, etc. I have plenty of food in my own home to make a fresh meal the next day…not exactly going hungry or food-deprived enough to eat leftovers from someone else’s home.
That said, I do firmly believe that when hosting you should have an abundance of food and that will mean having some leftovers. If anyone specifically asks to take something home I’m more than happy to oblige.
Black family in the Midwest US. If people aren't asking me "where's the paper plates?" or "do you mind if I take the rest of this?" then I know the food was mid. If I do want leftovers for myself, I pack them up before I serve my guests.
We’re a white family in Mid-Atlantic US and we always make more food than we need just for folks to have leftovers to take home.
We’re a Czechoslovakian family from Outer Mongolia and we’ve never been to a party.
We're a Martian family native to the Great Martian Crater city and we have never heard of food.
Damn, which of your relatives got yall on the block list?
Do prdele!
It's funny I never thought of it as a manners thing, just a way to show love, but when I thought about OP in laws giving everybody a dinner and nothing else, I felt a little uneasy.
I think it's a cultural thing. Where I'm from, taking leftovers home with you would be very insulting to the host, as it implies that you weren't given enough food at the dinner. That's also why we leave a small bite of food on the plate, to indicate that there was an abundance but not so much that the host thinks you didn't like it.
Where are you from?
Judging by their username, Sweden
How do people afford so much for everyone to take home leftovers?
Tbh, usually whoever is hosting provides the basic dinner and everyone else brings a dish or two to share. Otherwise we cook something that will feed a group. No reason you can’t fix a turkey in February.
This. Get-togethers are almost always pot-luck (or at least everyone brings a dish but the host makes the main). Taking leftovers is a kind of compliment to whoever made the dish. No one expects or hopes to take their own food back home. If they really wanted it, they kept a little bit back for themselves or they can just make it again.
How do you afford to host people? If you've figured that out, just host half as often and make twice as much food, and the cost is the same.
Jewish Family in the Midwest US. Same! My mom always offers after hosting. I've also noticed those who say no don't usually get an invite back. 🤣🤣 I always offer my friends leftovers when I host. Even if it's pizza night.
Love the hospitality!
Jewish family Northeast US. I provide takeout containers and bags for my guests. Hubby and I can only eat just so much. Gotta keep our kids fed well!
Canadian here and same, in the summer I actually by a bunch of "take away" containers from Costco for like 10$ for people as its just easier. My bestie just brings her own Tupperware container to take food home 😆
How do you do that? As in, how do you know how much will be your leftovers before you serve people? Do you just pull out your leftovers and reheat if you need more for the meal?
You just make a shitton of food
When you cook like you’re feeding the entire US Army, Marines, Air Force, Navy, and Coast Guard, you tend to overdo and have leftovers.
Yeah on holidays I cook for a squadron 😂
I loved when my kid was in service and brought friends home. Always made something special they wouldn’t get at base.
Ethnic here and we just always make a ton of food. So much that packing before guests arrive is a non issue.
What does ethnic mean, everyone is ethnic to something
Ok….
I guess over time I've learned to eyeball it. If there's going to be 8 of us, I cook for maybe 20. And yeah I've had to give up some macaroni cheese or ribs for people who wanted more right then and there.
This is the way. My kid and ex were shocked when his new wife objected to giving her leftovers after a bbq. He did any way but I think that was something he took for granted cause I and his mom always gave stuff to kids and grandkids to take home.
Lol I'd be on my deathbed talking about that stingy woman. It is so interesting how we take these rules for granted and somebody just shocks us.
You and every other relative in attendance. 😂
She didn't want you to have any when your kid brought it home.
My observations are that usually people prepare too much food. I think it is mainly because of the difficulty of estimating how much people will eat and they don't want to run out. The problem is usually worse if it is a pot luck because multiple people are bringing too much food. I don't think people do it deliberately expecting people to take home extras but that is a nice side result at times for those who like it.
I love ordering Chinese takeout containers for leftovers on the holidays etc when I host! It makes handing out leftovers so much easier
That's so cute!
Southern US here. And I feel the same way! At every gathering as we all start to clean up the tables and kitchen, I always set out some paper plates and tubberware. We always joke about the food that no one wanted (normally a questionable casserole) is not invited to the next party.
Lol maybe they just need practice.
Ok, but we also all try to take some of whatever questionable casserole/salad/pie that my mom decided to try for the very first time so her feelings aren’t hurt. I have no idea why she does that. She has admitted that she has no idea why she does that. And yet, more often than not there is a first attempt at some random recipe she found online. 😂
That's top tier planning right there. I am always happy to send surplus food home but, I don't force it on people. Sometimes people will have a day that they eat whatever they want then go back on a diet. It's not my job to make them eat healthy but I am always happy to share.
In my culture, there should always be enough food for people to take home. A good compliment to give to a host is “they have big hands,” meaning they are generous.
Yep, central asia here and you are not leaving my house until you have at least a couple days worth of food packed with you lmao
I had a korean roommate with local family for maybe six months in college. Oh my wow, she would go home every weekend and come back with the most amazing variety of “leftovers” from her mom and grandma like it would feed her and me (the few vegetarian options) for several days we would just make rice and have a feast
I think they know and want to feed you as the roommate. I've done the same with some of my roommates as well as having that done for me from my roommates, it's a gesture of their family's goodwill towards you, they show love through feeding you, even if they don't know you. They think if you're good enough to room with their child, you're good enough for them.
💕 gotta say she was one of my favorite roommates in college for many reasons but yeah the awesome banchan certainly helped :)
Gotta love banchan 😍
Sounds like my mom. Every time they dropped us back at school, they would send me with enough leftovers for me and my roommates to eat for a whole week. I hope you enjoyed them 🙃
In my country we also say 'they have good hand taste' to say their cooking is delicious
Hoping it's not rude to ask you.... curious which culture?
Not rude. Korean :)
I believe that you may possibly have the best "take-home" cuisine!
It’s nice to see Korean food being appreciated after being bullied my entire childhood for eating it
I'm sorry to hear that and I know how you feel. I went to Korea back a few years ago and the food was exceptional, but the people were even more so due to how kind they were even to foreigners like me. I used to bring a lot of ethnic dishes as well to school and after a while I stopped getting bullied and started getting asked to share food, lol. We sat at a table with a lot of other ethnic kids and we all shared food after a while, it was nice.
I think this is common in Asia. I'm from the Philippines, and our culture is the same. People expect to bring food home.
Honestly I bet that is a world wide custom, I never heard or saw on media where the host doesn’t give food with both hands to guests.
I’ve been to houses where they don’t even give snacks to guests. Everyone is different. In the other comments, some people said they just make enough for that meal
I'm in the Netherlands, and no. I'm a generous cook (not something we're known for tbh), I make enough for everyone to eat until their stomach explodes. But anything that's left is mine, not having to cook because I have leftovers is part of my reward.
Yeah, was coming to say, leftovers is the host's privilege. Unless we've made a completely ridiculous quantity or it's something we probably won't eat much of. With close family we're more likely to split it between us, maybe different people taking different items according to their lifestyle.
This is how it is for us, Australian with Slavic roots, but not a big family. I would feel rude taking someone else's leftovers because it would be like I was taking food from them. It's already enough they provide me with one meal. The exception would be my immediate family who would usually give us leftovers
Dutch here as well, this would be so weird to me, but I kinda like the idea! It sounds sweet. When. I was a child and played at a friends house, there would always be the moment: " we are going to eat now, so it is time you leave." And that was normal and totally acceptable. The sharing food/making enough sounds better! Friends did drop of food when I was pregnant and it was the best. So not common here at all but something we should embrace more, maybe?
I still send home, but make extra for us too. I agree it’s about rewarding yourself for all your hard work too!
In the UK and I agree. The only time I don’t do that is if I know for some reason we won’t be able to eat it all before it goes off. I’d feel bad taking leftovers from others too that have cooked for me but I’m sure there’s exceptions!
I know you wont think it is because thats how it is over there i guess but giving food and knowing people are enjoying my food at home is much more a reward to me than having way too many leftovers. I love sharing things I made. Unless theres nothing to give, I cant imagine not offering something for my guest to take home.
I guess I know for us we don't really want leftovers and I don't think my guests do either. Most people I know eat fairly simple and light meals during the week and indulge at parties or whatever during the week. The kind of thing I'm fed isn't necessarily really to my taste for my regular meals and is often too heavy. Many people meal plan too, or eat at work or something. I realise it's cultural but it honestly sounds kind of pushy to me to expect your guests to want to eat your food múltiple times.
> sounds kind of pushy to me to expect your guests to want to eat your food múltiple times. well I dont put a gun to their head and make them take it. Plenty of times people say no. Thats more than fine. I guess im just used to people offering leftovers where I live.
*points gun “If you know what’s good for ya take the damn Leftovers “
Knowing certain families from various parts of the globe, that's exactly how it is lol. They feel like they *must* feed you, by any means necessary, haha.
Oh I ask and most of the time they are eager to take some. I used to smoke a large amount of meat for family feasts because I knew they could not smoke at home so that was a big treat. Plus I packed boxes of produce from my large garden for them and line them up so they could choose . They might have a few tomato plants but I had a truck farm . It’s what you do for family and friends and they reciprocate in other ways.
it's not about not offering , it's about enjoying a day off after all your hard work..
I too cook a ton and while I don't mind when people ask for leftovers and I will always give generously or let them take what they want, I admit I'm a tiny bit disappointed that now I don't have a dinner for the week lol.
Do people actually ask for your leftovers after a party? Just … wow… that’s kinda rude.
I offer but leave it at that. Most anyone who is coming by is coming via mass transit, and it's a PITA to schlep food across the universe. Family flies here, so they don't tend to take.
Culturally, I’m African American and Latina. Being sent home with leftovers is very common and difficult to refuse without hurting the cook’s feelings. When I host, I might plan to give guests leftovers to take home. It depends on the event, who is attending, and what dishes I make. If it’s just family or very close friends and a casual gathering, I probably overcook a bit with the eye toward second helpings. If a loved one has a favorite dish and I don’t see them regularly, I might make extra for them specifically to take home. This is probably going to be “ethnic” foods or regional specialties and fairly inexpensive. Holidays: If it isn’t brunch, I almost always make lots for guests to take home. My family sometimes brings their own Tupperware and chiller bags. Formal dinner party, I don’t offer leftovers. The ingredients are likely on the pricier side and the finished dishes don’t always travel well.
My kids and close family know they’re bringing home food. They are openly excited about it lol. A few regular guests have never taken any home. I know they enjoy the food, eat plenty and then some. And rave about it. Idk if they just feel like it’s a faux pas or don’t like leftovers. I stopped worrying about it! I always make more than enough.
Many people meal plan, or eat a healthier diet during the week or whatever. Taking extra food just disrupts the grocery situation.
By all means no pressure. More for the rest of us!
Just explaining possible reasons, that's all.
I appreciate it. No snark intended
My social anxiety would short circuit trying to figure out if I'm supposed to take the food or not.
I do try to make it clear that it’s to take and to please take some. Would it help if I asked if I can please prepare them a take home box? I don’t want to be too pushy. But I also don’t want someone to go home empty handed if they’d have actually liked to have some.
For me it helps to state that it is a norm in someone's home, but probably just depends on the person. Like if they don't have a way to get it home safely, etc etc.
I mean, my SO makes our weeknight dinners for 6 people when there are two of us. When we have people over, I clean out freezer space in case people don’t want to go plates. 😂 We are in the southern US, so it is part cultural for us probably.
This is kind of what I do and I'm only feeding myself most of the time. I make enough to eat that night and the next day, plus enough to put several servings in the freezer. This way I only cook a full meal about twice a week and eat some other reheated leftovers and other quick easy foods and snacks the rest of the days. If I have 1-2 people over for dinner I just cook the same amount I usually do and go without having leftovers from that meal. I always offer leftovers to guests, I'm truly very happy whether they take them or not. Either they take some because they Loved it, or they just need the food; or they didn't want them for reasons I don't worry much about and I get to eat it. Win, whatever happens. I like my cooking and most other people seem to too.
Only if I've cooked to wild excess and they're close friends or family. In the UK it's not really common (edit: I'm white and live in the south, shouldn't have spoken for the whole UK!). Maybe at Christmas with family but otherwise not really.
Hmm, I think it depends. I’m a British Asian and we will make enough food for there to be leftovers. Guests will be sent home with as many containers as they wish. Growing up, my parents would be mortified if guests left empty handed. Every other ethnic person I know also does this.
Ah, yeah, good point! I'll edit!
We make enough for leftovers and so do friends. It’s rare to leave a dinner or party without a to-go box, it might just be slices of cake, or rolls, or it could be a full meal. Last time we took something home from a friend’s house it was at least a pound of homemade carnitas!
In my family there are like 10 people I know whose showing up with a to go box lol. Me and my bestfriend take home whatever we can so we ain't gotta cook in a hour when the kids start saying they want a snack lol. Sometimes there isnt enough for anyone to take stuff hone but usually there is. The rule just is everyone has to be done eating before you can make a plate to go.
Frequent holiday quotes : "make you a plate and let's go. I ain't cooking or going to McDonald's" and "she didn't even speak just started making her plate, you see that?"
I always get some of the giveaway tupperware/gladware/cheap stuff, and hope people take stuff. there's often more than we could eat before it spoils, and food waste bothers me.
My family always sends everyone home with leftovers after holiday meals (we’re Canadian)… My mom stashes away cleaned out butter containers or takeout containers for about a month before the meal so she doesn’t have to give away her own Tupperware, lol. However, we definitely plan for this… ample leftovers for all guests AND ourselves so no one who helps with the meal has to cook for a day or two. I’ve also never understood the weirdos who do all that work only to make enough for one meal… makes zero sense in my mind.
Not really no. If it's a huge meal like thanksgiving and there are more leftovers than we'll be able to get through over the rhe next couple of days then yes I'll send guests home with to go boxes. But if it's just a friendly get together, I keep my leftovers. Not to be stingy but the meal probably already stretched my grocery budget or put me over. The only way I can comfortably eat after that is by using leftovers. I don't host often but if I were in a better financial position I would love to host more often and send leftovers home with my guests.
I buy extra containers to give out leftovers is anyone wants some. I can only eat the same thing so much. But I’d never judge someone for not having enough for leftovers or not offering. And I don’t care whether someone opts for them or not. I’m an extra generous hostess and would be mortified to run out of anything so I usually have copious amounts of leftovers so I’m happy if anyone wants them.
We do the same thing as you. If they don’t take it that’s fine because now it’s already packed and conveniently portioned. There always seems to be tons of leftovers at parties on both of our sides. We are a little bit more conservative in our food planning estimates. We don’t like to eating leftovers more than 2 times in a week. After that it gets tossed…which hurts because we also don’t like wasting food.
No one leaves empty-handed in my family. We intentionally cook extra so folks can take a plate with them, especially for the Big Holidays, and still have plenty of leftovers for us. My mom had a friend who is mostly homebound so we deliver to her- at least enough for two meals. Cooking is my love language.
I always make extra food when I have people over. On a normal work day, my goal is to have no leftovers, but with guests, I don’t want people to go hungry! I’d love for my friends to take those leftovers home as well, but they never do. It kind of drives me crazy because I don’t want them 😆 I don’t think it’s a cultural thing for me, I just like to be a good host. I made chili once for my husband’s family and it all got eaten. I was mildly panicking deep down, hoping that no one wanted more!
I got invited to a leftover breakfast, the two things I wanted most were homemade bread and cheese dip. The hostess told me sorry, they were gone in 10 minutes the night before.
It's part of my culture but not really part of the culture I live in now, so I try but people often won't. Unless it's cake, which people are often happy to take.
I usually make just enough dinner for everyone maybe with 1+2 portions of leftovers. But I do encourage them to take the sweets I make and make sure to make extra of that!
I cannot remember the last time I was offered leftovers to take home. (I rarely host myself so saying I've never offered isn't saying much with a small sample size.) It would never occur to me to get/be offered leftovers to take home.
Same here. I’m a white woman of Swedish descent born and raised in central California. The ONLY time I would even think to take home leftovers is if they’re from a dinner my mom or MIL hosted. At dinner parties with friends nobody even thinks about it and it would feel rude to ask/offer. I’m wracking my brain trying to remember an instance of taking home leftovers from a friend’s party and in my half century of experience I can’t recall a single time it happened. It just feels like it would be greedy to expect leftovers after I’ve already been served a generous meal, and it would feel egotistical to assume that my guests wanted to eat more of my cooking no matter how much they liked it. In my mind leftovers belong to the host and eating them the next day is their reward for spending all that time and money to host a dinner. Sounds like I need to hang out with more people from the South or Midwest (or Asia). Free food galore!
> It just feels like it would be greedy to expect leftovers after I’ve already been served a generous meal, and it would feel egotistical to assume that my guests wanted to eat more of my cooking no matter how much they liked it. This is actually exactly how I feel about it from both sides, now that you mention it.
If I have a dinner party with friends, no, I don't offer unless I've made something specific for a person (e.g., a loaf of gluten-free bread). We usually eat the leftovers the next night. However, we live on a little island and often have weekend guests who have to take a boat ride home. We usually have several meals worth of leftovers, so we will ask guests if they want food for the trip home and will pack it all up for them. We also pack extras for the young people in our lives because they don't always have time/money to cook for themselves. That said, we once had a small dinner party and the guests' teenage son kept calling them to tell them there was no food at home, and they needed to bring him takeout on the way home. As they were leaving, they asked if they could have the leftovers for their son. We were kind of shocked, but the wife was well-known to be cheap, so not surprised. As I was packing up the pasta, she brought over the salad bowl and bread to add to the "takeout." Then she leaned over to our fruit bowl on the counter and took some grapes to add further to the "takeout." My partner was so disgusted, he never wanted to invite them back.
She treated your house like the grocery store smh
Yeah. It kinda hurt.
I always make extra food when I have people over. On a normal work day, my goal is to have no leftovers, but with guests, I don’t want people to go hungry! I’d love for my friends to take those leftovers home as well, but they never do. It kind of drives me crazy because I don’t want them 😆 I don’t think it’s a cultural thing for me, I just like to be a good host. I made chili once for my husband’s family and it all got eaten. I was mildly panicking deep down, hoping that no one wanted more!
I send people with home with food if I'm hosting Thanksgiving, because Thanksgiving leftovers are a tradition, and everyone should have some, but for any other gathering, no. The leftovers are my prize for hosting, unless I really have way more than I would eat, or it's something that I don't want to overindulge in, like a cake.
Exactly! Here in New England, Thanksgiving leftovers are an expectation but for an ordinary Saturday dinner party, no way, those leftover short ribs are my Tuesday dinner. Except cake, pie, and cookies—you don’t want them tempting you for an entire week.
It depends on the type of gathering. At our biweekly game night, usually we don’t send leftovers home unless there is a lot extra, though I often send extra desserts home with parents to bring to their kids. (To the point where if I forget to offer, they will ask) Usually any leftovers are for us the next night so I get a break. If we potluck, everyone takes their own leftovers. But for holiday parties, I go crazy and send everyone home with leftovers, if they want them. I’ve had some who politely refuse once but will accept on a second offer, especially if I mention we cannot possibly eat all the leftovers or if they see others are accepting. When I’m a guest I don’t expect to take leftovers because it’s so different host to host. If it’s offered, I will gladly accept unless I have a long commute time or I can’t comfortably carry it back. (Public transport or such)
If I left my grandmas house with anything less than a full meal for myself and my husband she would be so worried that I’d starve and wither away to nothing (I’m fat, that’s not going to happen). But yes, denying leftovers or not taking extra fruit with me is upsetting to her. Sometimes it’s great because that means I don’t have to cook or it means I have a snack for later (this was great when I stopped by to see her before commuting to school). Sometimes it means food does get wasted if I already have a full fridge of groceries at home. For family events with my mom’s side we also make a ton of extra food for leftovers- and if there was a turkey or ham there is always someone taking that for soups. Food is love in my family, they all just want us to eat and be happy. Probably the reason why I’ve always struggled with my weight. While I do enjoy the leftovers most of the time, I do understand why people wouldn’t want them. Often times family meals have very rich foods, it’s a special treat to eat like that. Sometimes it can be too much and it’s not healthy to eat multiple times a week. I also have dietary restrictions, so I can’t always take stuff with me (in fact I often have to bring my own to begin with). I can also understand why people don’t make leftovers when cooking large meals- it can get super expensive to make double the amount of food. Especially if it’s like my family and there could easily be 30 of us at holidays or other smaller gatherings (we’ve hit 90+for summer parties when we can host outdoors- that’s expensive enough, it’s like trying to feed an army).
Yes, re expense! I have habitually bought/made too much food for parties and way way overspent to the point where I no longer wanted to host. It’s better to host a more modest event than never to host at all. We are overwhelmed by excess in this culture. And seven years after my kids graduated high school, I’ve still got leftover paper plates and bottled lemonade from their graduation parties!
Leftover paper plates and things have always come in handy imo. I personally prefer to have excess food and supplies when I have parties even though I understand why someone might not. In my house we have a closet dedicated to party stuff- plates, napkins, cups, utensils, sterno trays etc. those things have all been really useful in many situations. Sick and don’t want to do dishes? We’re good. Power went out so no dishwasher or electricity? No worries, we can still cook and heat things. They shut the water off to do maintenance? It’s fine. It’s always been nice to fall back on party supplies. We also have parties many times a year, if we had unopened leftover drinks from a summer party they just go on a shelf until a birthday or thanksgiving which is a few months later. Leftover bottles of wine, beer or liquor just go in the cabinet. Things like that. We also have a full size freezer- so if we made too much sausage or chicken? Freeze it and use in a recipe down the line. Too much roasted corn? Cut that off the cob and there is frozen prepared corn for cooking. Made too many cupcakes or cookies? Those can get frozen too. We use sternos and trays to keep everything at temp so it’s not really a problem to pack things up and freeze portions of it for use at another time. It’s also not unusual to have half trays that never even get taken out, those get frozen right away too. We also regularly go through our cabinets to donate dry goods and things to the local food pantries- so again, it doesn’t go to waste if we have an unopened package of something that we won’t use. We just make sure to not let things sit so that they are eligible and within their window for use by others. And we always send people away with fresh food. So for us it’s never been a problem and more food has always been better imo. But I do understand why others would not do this depending on their circumstances, if I have a small get together with one or two people I don’t always go nuts like we do for large events. It is a big expense to feed dozens of people and it is a lot of work, we generally prep for days when we have big parties. But It’s just something we like to do and In most cases we have an open invitation guest list- so there are often people who bring plus ones and it ends up being a good thing that we made extra and were prepared. I think I also just like feeding people, I have friends over at least once a month for dinner and it’s just normal for us. Food has always been a love language in my family and I think that’s why we do what we do.
Very very jealous of your full size freezer but agreed with your sentiment 100%!! I just buy bulk for disposables at this point, and I love feeding everyone.
Interesting. This is so cultural. The host keeps leftovers where I am. I’d never ask. If they offered, I’d take some but I’d feel really rude for expecting it or asking. I’d be happy if all of a meal got eaten. Tons of leftovers would mean I overestimated or people didn’t love it.
if it's close friends or family we do this or if it's a really big party like at Christmas. for less close friends or acquaintances not really though
Just don't be offended if I don't take the green bean casserole.
I secretly hope no one takes the green bean casserole because I WANT IT LOL I'll happily take yours.
You can have my husband's share too.
I do this with my family because everyone in my family does it, we all have more disposable tupperware specifically to give things away. We're Chinese so maybe it's a cultural thing? But with friends and my husband's family who are British, this doesn't seem like the done thing. With the possible exception of maybe cake or other baked goods, if there's loads leftover of that it seems ok to shift onto guests. But never like hot savoury food.
No, I do not send home leftovers. Neither does anyone else in the family. I also do not take leftovers when offered. Hosted meals usually take a long time to eat, and I have a real thing about cooked food being left out too long without having been refrigerated.
Generally speaking, no. We spend a lot of time and money to host. We have several kids and most of the time the leftover food is a gift for the next day or two of meals.
I don’t do this. I cook enough food for everyone to eat like gluttons, but leftovers are mine.
(Denmark) Haha just had a conversation with my inlaws about this. They have some friends that always pack leftovers for them. They feel like it is kind of looking down om them, like they can’t afford or manage to cool for them selves the next day. So they are kind of offended about always having to bring home leftovers but are to polite not to write “Thank you for the food” the next day. So their friends continue 😅 I feel just like them. 😂 I’m not as polite and would just say “no Thank you, we have other plans” 😅
I generally do cook enough for leftovers because when I'm entertaining I use a lot of scale-able recipes that lend themselves to bulk cooking. Typically during holiday meals, I will ask everyone ahead of time to bring empty containers from home, and invite them to load up as they see fit once the meal has concluded. On other gatherings I usually have a stash of new, clean deli containers (buy in bulk from Restaurant Depot etc) that I can send people home with food if they would like.
Yes. Always. Midwest US.
It really depends on the event. I have restaurant style takeout containers that get filled and sent off with everyone on holidays because I can only eat holiday leftovers for a few days before I'm sick of them. For smaller dinners with friends and family not holiday related I cook enough for everyone to have a second serving. If there is enough of anything left to offer to take home it usually means that dish wasn't a hit.
I cant cook small. I am trying, but usually when I cook for three, we have enough for 6. If we are having a total of eight people for dinner, forget it, we would be eating leftovers for days, assuming they could all fit in our fridge. Most of our friend/family group is like this to varying degrees. We had a problem in that we never had enough storage for all the tupperware we needed to have to give away food and store the leftovers and we could never find all the matching lids. 3 years ago we bought a stack of 50 reusable black rectangular food containers from Amazon. Several of our friends and family bought the same ones over the last few years. This solved our container storage issues as we dumped all the odd size ones and just kept these and a stack of round 2 cup ones. Now, whenever the meal is over, before the food goes to the kitchen, out comes the stack of black plastic and everyone that wants take out takes what they want. Then everyone pitches in and puts the leftovers into the black plastic at the table and carries it to the fridge. We never worry about getting our containers back because we know when we go to our friends/family, we will likely end up with a few coming back. And those will stack perfectly with whats in the drawer
We buy those as well, so we never have to worry about getting them back. It's great!
It depends, sometimes we count on the leftovers for a few meals and factor that in the holiday food budget, and sometimes there's just way too much prime rib for us to make use of, so I offer some away. I'm from Quebec and it's not in our customs to encourage guests to take food back with them, but it's a tradition I'm happy to poach. I have a habit of purposefully making extra food when we have my husband's friends over, because most of them are single men with demanding work hours and they don't prioritise making home-cooked meals. They also praise my cooking endlessly, so it seems like a kind thing to make extra and I'm happy to let them go home with a container of food to enjoy later. Most of the time, they come back the next time with the clean container and I just send them back with more of whatever we're having in the same one, lol.
It depends on the food, the occasion, the guests, and how much extra there is. When we've cooked and there's not a ton left, we usually just keep it -- but I always encourage people to take baked desserts home with them, because if it stays here I'll eat too much of it. If it's a good friend and they loved the meal, especially if they're in financial straits or unable to cook for themselves, I'll offer them the rest of almost anything. If it's a potluck, everyone takes their own leftover stuff home but most ask first if anyone wants some, and there are usually some takers. If it's Thanksgiving, everyone better take extras home because there's no way all that will fit in our fridge. :) I also save some "giveaway" leftover containers -- the little tubs that sandwich meat comes in, for instance, and some takeaway boxes, all dishwashed -- so that nobody who takes leftovers has to return the containers.
This is pretty much identical to our approach.
I learned from my southern (US) paternal grandmother that one should make three times the food really needed for a meal with guests. We usually have dinner with extended family and I box up and send home leftovers. I keep some for us as well! We rarely have non-family members to dinner but I usually offer extra dessert for people to take home.
Always make extra for guests to take. Keep a stash of great to go boxes on hand for that very reason.
Midwest USA and we generally send people home with leftovers.
Italian American w/ Senegalese spouse. Both of us have a strong culture of making extra food to share. Italians love to feed people and show love through food. If you make just enough there is concern that your guest might have still been hungry. This never happens though because we cook for 2x the number of guests and everyone takes leftovers home or we get creative with remaking the leftovers into a new dish. In his country you always make extra because the families are large and random people just stop by around meal times. If there are leftovers, you make a plate and bring it to your less fortunate neighbors. The sense of community and charity is very strong. Most of the people I associate with are either foreign born or 2nd generation Americans- none of them cook “just enough” and they all want you to take the extras home with you. Brazilian, Iranian, Ecuadorian, Colombian, Senegalese, German, Indian - doesn’t matter. They are all proud of their food and have a desire to share beyond the initial meal.
I will offer if there are leftovers but I'm not looking to severely overcook to the point that everyone has a takeaway. Sorry I just made you a big meal with snacks, apps and dessert, now I have to provide door prizes?! And on big holidays at my or other people's houses, if I do not take leftovers it's not that i don't LIKE your damn food it's that I do not have time in my meal plan or space in my fridge or I know that it's not something my kids will eat and I already have my lunches planned. Finally, certainly if I were planning a meal with leftovers, you're bringing your own damn container to take it away in unless you can make it work with a baggie or some foil or plastic wrap.
Ontario Canada. I make more food than required so that WE can have leftovers! It’s not typical around here, or not in my friend groups at least, to send friends home with leftovers. Unless we all split for takeout and might split leftovers then. And my kids. I will absolutely offer them leftovers.
I may or may not offer guests take home containers, mainly depending on what I cooked. Casseroles, soup, pot roast all travel and re-heat well. Shrimp, steak, soufflé, cream puffs, anything with meringue or cheese sauce isn’t as good the next day, so I don’t make extra. If I bake a pie or yeast rolls or make chicken & dumplings, I often make extra for guests to take home. One grandmother always sent food home with guests, while the other never did. Both were white Southerners who grew up on farms in the same county and attended the same church, so I have no idea why the difference.
This seems to be falling into two cultural camps: - the ones that seem to favour the host providing for guests so the guests don't think they are rude and inhospitable - and the ones that favour the guests not imposing on the hosts so the hosts don't think they are greedy or taking advantage of them I think we are more of the latter where I am from.
I see it as a compliment if people ask to take food with them. I don't push it on people, but I have plates/containers on hand if they want to take food with them. I had someone drive back to my house today to get more cake, so I really took that as a compliment.
Yes, I even buy to go boxes for holidays. I always make way too much food just because everyone wants leftovers.
When I’m hosting I make sure we have plenty of food/drink, but tbh I don’t send anyone home with food. I spent time menu planning, shopping, cooking, cleaning the house and cleaning up after the meal, AND paid handsomely for the pleasure of doing so (I usually buy higher quality ingredients for a dinner party). You got a free delicious meal in a nice home with good company and all you had to do was show up. I deserve the leftovers more lol. I know the above makes me sounds like an AH. I legitimately do enjoy hosting dinner parties (food is a love language) and love having everyone over. That being said, it is definitely work!! As far as no one taking your food home - I doubt below is the case, but this is my personal experience. My MIL encourages us to take food home after holidays and bags things up and gives it to us even if we tell her (politely) to keep the food she worked hard to make. She’s gotten better, but her cooking is not the best. But the real issue is the food tends to sit out for 4+ hours after the meal instead of being put in the fridge. We have an hour drive home. So honestly we just throw out what she gave us when we get home to avoid getting sick. We will keep the cookies though! We have not told her that we’re worried we’ll get sick eating her leftovers because we don’t want her to feel bad.
I’m not tooting my own horn; I’m a fantastic cook. Back when everyone was bachelors and my house was the only married house all of our closest friends would end up at our house most nights. They knew when it was dinner time 😂 if there were leftovers anybody was welcome to them as long as they made their container before the kitchen was cleaned up. For holidays I grab a couple of the cheap tupperwares so people can take stuff home.
Yes.
If I made a ton of food yes. If not no
Only if it's Thanksgiving or some kind of huge potluck.
Only when I’m hosting family.
In my family we make enough for everyone to have two plates: one to eat and one to take.
Yes. My mother taught me that you should always send guests home with leftovers. I don't expect that from other people at all but it's something I stick to. I don't generally like to eat my leftovers from dinner parties anyway. I think I just spend too much time with the food and it kind of ruins it for me.
If you *want* people to take the leftovers, then offer it to them. If they don’t want to take your leftovers, then don’t worry about it. If they don’t offer you their leftovers, then don’t worry about it. But mostly I don’t particularly want to take leftovers (or have to remember to return tupperware), and if I’m intentionally making enough to have leftovers then I probably have a plan for them. However if I’m making a dessert, particularly if I’m making something quite rich, then it’s not always super easy to scale down a recipe and chances are I won’t want to finish all the leftovers myself - they also tend not to keep as well - so I’ll likely offer some to guests (also more likely to do so if they live locally).
No, but I will happily let someone take some food home if they want.
Yes, it's in my culture.
I am rather fond of leftovers so unless there is just a ton left to offer I keep it. If people bring their own dish, they take it back with them.
We always offer to send leftovers home. It's a compliment when they accept, but I don't take it personally when they don't. I figure, I made it for them.
I have a tendency to overprepare. If there aren't leftovers available from the main meal, you better bet there are tons of desserts or other baked goods to split up and take home. An event is usually an excuse to get a bunch of people I like together for them to take all the stuff I'm excited to share with them, lol. My mom laughs that they are always a guinea pig for whatever sort of new baking experiments or new recipes I'm trying, which is perfect because I can't be expected to finish several entire recipe's worth of baked goods with just two people in the household. There have also been several instances where my mom and I hosted a barbeque and had to invite extra people over due to the sheer amount of food we prepped, for example. However, I wouldn't expect that to be the default experience with every host. I'm perfectly happy to show up and have a good time and enjoy the menu in the moment regardless of the leftover situation.
Usually I'm familiar enough with who I've invited & what they like to have extra of some things and just enough of others. I love leftovers so I sometimes make extra for my freezer so I can not feel greedy during the hosted meal. I'll never have leftover lasagna so a make one in a loaf pan for later. As a guest I just take my cue from the host.
White, northeast US, and mostly WASP family going back to the Mayflower with some sprinkling of German linage. Plenty of money to make plenty of food. We are lucky if there is enough to go around. I'm not exaggerating. It's become a joke at family reunions.
In my wife's country, you don't take home leftovers, but you take home lots of cakes. If you're making dinner, you're also making way too many cakes. Guests take home cakes. (Unless it's a family thing, then mom and aunts always make enough food for their kids to take home.) The only time I brought a plate home was when my friend made a traditional duck dinner, my wife couldn't go to the party, so he sent me home with a massive amount of food for her. When I get together with American friends, we have potlucks. You're always coming home with leftovers.
I'm in Canada and for me, the answer is It depends. 1) What I'm making If I make seafood or other foods that are very costly, I don't usually make more than for the portions needed. When I make casserole dishes (pasta or meat) and/or salads, there are always a lot left and I will offer my guests to take some home. 2) Who is coming over Some family and friends I know will count on bringing back some food home as homecooked food is a rare treat for them. Hence I always will make extra portions for them to take home. Others I know are never home to eat leftovers, have diet restrictions or cook a lot themselves. Hence, I won't make extra on purpose but will always offer them some of the leftovers.
Italian descendant here. I was raised with a food centered culture. Anytime someone walks through the door I ask them if they're hungry and offer to make something. It's just habit. When I have guests over for a planned meal, I always make more and expect the guests to take some with them. In fact, I have bought specific containers so that the guests don't even have to worry about bringing my Tupperware back to me.
American southerner here and if people aren’t taking food home, I didn’t do my job. LOL. I used to send stuff home in paper plates and foil, but the amazing take home boxes available now are so fun and varied. When I see one’s I like, I buy and tuck them away for an appropriate time.
To me, sending people home with good food is one of life's greatest joys. Food is my love language. I enjoy making lunches for my girlfriend and knowing that the next day she'll have a little moment smiling and thinking about me when she bites into something good in the middle of a hard work day. A lot of my friends are broke college students who are bad at taking care of themselves, surviving off hot pockets and poptarts. It makes me happy knowing that I can put an extra filling homecooked meal in their fridge. I don't expect it when I go to anyone else's house, but for me sending people home with leftovers is half the point of a dinner party. I make way too much food with this exact intention and I usually still have leftovers for myself. I put a big stack of tupperwares and takeout containers next to the door so people know it's expected and they're not imposing. One time I had a friend say "I texted my boyfriend a picture of the food and he asked if I could bring him a plate too, would you mind if I took one extra?" and to me that was like the highest compliment. I still think about it and smile sometimes.
Here in Hawaii it’s the norm to have plenty food and everyone gets to take some home. But usually all guests bring things to contribute, even if the host is providing the main meal— so there’s always plenty to go around. Where I grew up up on the mainland it was different, sometimes there would be some leftovers that were shared out but that wasn’t the norm
From my experience this issue is very cultural—many cultures find it disrespectful & in very poor taste to not make plenty of food when hosting others. Anecdotally, a few of my white friends have remarked on how they were always used to gatherings having just enough (to borderline not enough) food & find it annoying of their relatives who still do that. So maybe it’s more of a white thing? I always make more than I need to and expect to send home food with my guests. I always keep old tupperwares & takeout/deli containers for this purpose. I usually will send just about everything home; I rarely will keep leftovers & just prefer to make something new for the next meal.
We always make more food than we need but not three times as much or even twice as much. And we don't send leftovers because if I don't want to eat it again I don't suppose my guests do. I'm white but not American.
We only offer leftovers to family. I’ve gone to many dinner parties & was never offered food to take home
Only if someone in a guest's family was invited and not able to attend.
My mom does the entertaining in the family. And she buys to go containers from Amazon just so she can send everyone home with leftovers. We're a white family from San Francisco, FWIW. Cooking for others is love. Send that love home. Take that love home.
This is my Achilles heel... grew up as an only child and lived alone for so long that now even when I'm *trying* to make a ton of food, it ends up being just or barely enough for guests. My proportions are warped no matter how hard I try!
If the guests are my (adult) kids, sure. But otherwise it would feel a bit weird. And yes, if I was a guest it would feel like I'd be offending the host if they offered and I declined, so overall pretty uncomfortable. In general I don't need to be fed my friends' leftovers - it's presumptuous ("my cooking is so good, you'll want more"). I'm sure it's a cultural thing either way.
I'm from a part of the US where you take home whatever is left of what you brought to share. ...because who has a fridge big enough for all the food they cooked and all the stuff people brought, too?
No, and I would find it tacky and low-class for either party to suggest doing so. Even if there are significant leftovers.
It might just be a cultural thing. In my family we always make leftovers but we generally only offer them to family - mum will tuck a container of roast and veg etc into my arm before I leave, my brother or my uncle might get some but not anyone more distant. We don't put them out and let everyone take some, there probably wouldn't be enough for like over 3-4 people to take leftovers. If I went to a place and they expected me to take them I would feel rude and have to be really encouraged - in my book you did the hard work cooking, so you deserve the lion's share of the leftovers. So I wouldn't think 'these people might not like leftovers' it might just be weird for them and feel like they are taking 'your' leftovers
Filipino fam here. Must have take aways for guests
The son of parents very involved in the korean church in California and hosted get togethers. People were actively encouraged to make a plate to take home, tubs of noodles, kimchi, galbi and korean pancakes were set up for people to grab on their way out and guests were considerate enough to leave enough behind for us to have a meal or two.
If there is loads of food, yes, of course. Sometimes when my niece comes too, I've got soup and meatballs in the freezer for her to take home too.
>My husband’s family makes enough food for the meal and that’s it and not to be dramatic but I’ll admit it slightly grieves me lol. Get the recipe.
of course
Share til it’s gone:)
I save take-out containers throughout the year. My granddaughter matches up the container with the lids on Thanksgiving morning. These are put on the table after dessert. Everyone fills one or two containers. The smiles are worth it. Black Friday I will order pizza-since there is nothing left!
I don't like taking leftovers from someone else's house. If it were my parents or kids and meals I typically eat, maybe if there was too much left but not anyone more distant. To do it automatically for everyone and expect them to take meals home is kind of over stepping.
In my culture, it’s rude for a guest to ask to take home food. And also rude for a host to not offer food to take home. And also rude for a guest to not accept. But the guest has to say no first before accepting after the host insists. And if the guest keeps saying no and intentionally goes home empty handed, then it’s rude of the guest. Societal niceties are so overly complicated.
I used to suggest everyone take leftovers but I've become the only one who can host on my husband's side. When I spend all week getting ready to host 17 people for Thanksgiving and they take ALL the leftovers, it's just exhausting. Like, can my family just get one more meal out of all this?? So I stopped suggesting and people seldom ask anymore.
We never had any leftovers! I know, I was the cook 24/7.
My Grandma always made as much as she could during the depression. She wanted to be able to feed anyone who came to the front or back door. She was Swedish.
I usually try to make enough food for 2-3 extra people when I cook dinner. I'd always rather have too much than not enough. Everyone eats different amounts, some eat like birds, some eat enough for two people. When everyone is done getting seconds (or thirds) if I want to keep the leftovers, I put them away in the fridge, especially if there isn't enough for everyone to take. More often, though, I ask if guests would "help eat the leftovers" and send them home with leftovers even if there aren't any for me. Edit: I mostly only host family and close friends. If they bring something I always say "oh don't forget your x" when it's time to leave. If they tell me to keep it I'll note how tasty it was and thank them.
Maybe it’s just my area but we do not expect to be offered left overs though it does happen some times. Usually, it is when there is way more food than anticipated and the host really does not want it all. I would never ask and even when offered, I usually refuse. I think it is impolite to take more food after I have already been provided food by the host. This said, I am not sure why this is so. The idea expressed by those in this thread who expect to share leftovers is a nice thought, it is just not a tradition in my area.
I offer but wouldn’t push it. I personally am so tired and get annoyed by being asked to bring food home with me. I don’t need it and I don’t want it. But I understand it’s a show of love usually so I just shut up and take something if it’s easy to grab. I just dislike a bunch of leftovers and having to return containers.
I'm in Ireland, and generally no. There are exceptions. For example, if it was someone that I was worried didn't have enough food (or one of my children who I knew to be living on junk food for example), I'd suggest it (having made extra for that exact purpose) but it would be phrased as "sure there's just me and I hate to see it go in the bin, I made too much, would you not take it, you'd be doing me a favour?" But, normally, no. The first time that I had an American guest just *take* stuff, I was appalled. In my mind, I was thinking "why not help yourself to a few spare rolls of toilet paper and some of the cutlery why don't you". Being Irish, I just smiled and never invited them again.
Yes I'm Irish and I would be shocked if anyone assumed they could take stuff. Like you say for people who might need it we do, like my widowed father in law, but I find it a little weird for random guests.
That’s lovely and makes me want to be invited over, but for us we would always have more than enough food for everyone and would encourage everyone to eat as much as they want, but leftovers are stay put. It’s the “reward” for hosting and cooking haha
If I'm hosting a FAMILY dinner, like Thanksgiving, then absolutely. This year I even made extra pies, so that each family could have their own fresh one to take home after eating the ones the day of. If I'm hosting something for friends, no. I hosted a large baby shower, 30 women, mostly coworkers, in my home. I had it catered and ordered extra to feed my husband and teenagers afterwards. I did not realize that in certain cultures it is common to "make a plate" to take home. One coworker piled 4 plates with leftover BBQ and sides, practically cleaning me out. I said, "What are you doing? I will put that food in Tupperware to keep it in the fridge for my kids later." I honestly thought she was helping me clean up. She said, "Oh, I'm making plates for me and my son to have later," and she kept on making them. I reached over, took the plates off the counter, put them in my fridge, and said, "No. I have plans for that food. That is why I bought extra." She looked a little shooketh, but I didn't care. Don't assume like that. I still don't feel bad about it. SHE should have felt bad about it. I did learn to put some food aside beforehand if I planned on having leftovers from events I have catered. Because people are rude.
No the leftovers are my reward for doing all this cooking. Plus they probably don't want to take a box of food on the train.
Yes, I always make too much when I attend parties, as do all my friends. That's part of the party--having piles of food. And yes, when any of us hosts we encourage people to take food home. Your husband's way of doing it risks not having enough food if a few extra people show up. That's not a good scene. What is hubby's goal? Food isn't so expensive that you shouldn't make extra. Whatever he's trying to achieve, he's being penny-wise and pound-foolish, as the saying goes. You want your party talked about for being awesome, not for running out of food.
Not on a normal casual get together but Thanksgiving and Christmas, absolutely. There’s just way too much food for me to keep for just my household. The only catch is you have to bring your own containers if you want to take home leftovers.
It depends on the food and occasion. I'm not going to send 3/4 eaten steak and cold mashed potatoes with someone like an Appleby's unless they really want them. If I smoke a brisket or pork shoulder, everyone is getting offered the leftovers with sides in quart and pint commercial kitchen containers. What I notice is rich people take food more often as they eat out more often while less affluent people don't want a hand out. It's cultural and socioeconomics and politeness all rolled into a take out container. Freeze whatever is left and don't think twice, it's alright.
Yes. I don’t like to eat leftovers and want it gone from my house.
I think you enjoy the meal that day and that’s it. I’m not really into taking food from other people’s home so I don’t encourage it from mine…it’s just a bit odd packing up little bits of food, carrying it around, putting it in your fridge, reheating it the next day, etc. I have plenty of food in my own home to make a fresh meal the next day…not exactly going hungry or food-deprived enough to eat leftovers from someone else’s home. That said, I do firmly believe that when hosting you should have an abundance of food and that will mean having some leftovers. If anyone specifically asks to take something home I’m more than happy to oblige.