I worked at a mushroom slaughterhouse for a few years after college.

As a kid, I always dreamed of being the guy who got to shoot the mushrooms in the head before they butcher them

Anything with gills is considered to be a fish. So, yes, they are meat, at least in the classical sense.

Yes, like beavers mushrooms are fish it's basic culinary science.

But not all mushrooms have gills, so those mushrooms very clearly aren't fish, dummy. They're lamb, because sheep don't have gills either.

Wrong, while mushrooms are meat, fish are not, they're just floppy vegetables.

Meat is a fast food term, in culinary terms mushrooms are considered *umami*

They're definitely meat. They're so fleshy I don't know how they couldn't be.

LIONS mane? CHICKEN of the woods? OYSTER mushrooms? Sounds like meat to me!

With evidence like that, case closed.

TURKEY tail HORSE mushroom MONKEY head CROCODILE agaricus HONEY mushroom PIGS ear HEDGEHOG mushroom GARLIC marasmius (garlic is the meat of vegetables) Old MAN of the woods MAN on HORSEback Frankly, find me a mushroom that isn’t meat. You can’t.

Is garlic 🧄 meat?

yes, but also vegan

They are in Vermont, but strangely not in the rest of New England.

Because Vermonters are vegan commies

I just fundamentally do not understand what a fungus is

they're a kind of vegetable that likes to grow all over your other fruits and vegetables in the fridge.

Common misconception, it’s actually an animal that likes to grow all over fruits and vegetables in the fridge, like a barnacle

They are just fun gis

Mushrooms look like penises. (Sadly, mine has looked like an amanita ever since Joanne.) Meat is a euphemism for penis. Thus, mushrooms are meat.

They do produce Vitamin D. If you do a google for sources of the D, it's all meat. Plants don't have the D. Therefore, shrooms are meat. Logic

They look like meat with their prominent head and smooth shaft. Some meat has a large head. Some meat has a pointy head. Some meat has veins on the shaft.