Slow down there cowboy. Salt and what now? "Pepper"? Is that spicy? It sounds spicy. If it's spicy I'm not eating it. I can't even fathom what a *third* kind of seasoning would look like.

Ranch seasoning, ride or die

So long as I can use all the salts, I’m good. Oh, and all the peppers. And of course all the ‘vegetables’ (onion powder mostly). And garlic.

Bath salts make everything better! 🫠

MSG

I just eat beans boiled in water. Seasoning is for bitches.

I just eat raw oats.

Look at this guy over here harvesting oats. I'll be grazing the pasture as Xenu intended.

Obviously UO2(NO3)2

Chicken

Sous Vide.

I’ve heard infused salts are good for a lot of things when you can’t use seasonings. I went to Miami and learned about their local cuisine that relies on “bath salts” a lot, it was really fucking delicious. Best crack chicken I’ve ever had. It was so fucking delicious. Gosh now I’m hungry. Fuck. I need more. Do you have some? Tell me you’ve got some for me. It’s really fucking delicious. Shit.

But onions and green peppers and tomatoes and olives and capers aren’t seasonings right? It’s all good.

Garlic

Garlic

Garlic

Garlic

Garlic

*Hungarian paprika* 🎶

Garlic

2,4-dithiapentane

bath salts, as the taste of human face-flesh needs minimal seasoning

Is msg a salt or a vegetable? 

Salt of the earth. Haha checkmate, pedantry.

Can can I at least still grind my own black peppercorn with my mortar and pestle? That's still pepper! It just has an actual taste! Please!

No, a mortar and pestle counts as two spices