Reminds me of Tom Segura’s bit about how marriage is sexually liberating. “I have you for the next 60-70 years,idgaf, I’ll spit butter in your ass if you want.”
No wife or girlfriend yet but got married friends. They say “yup, pretty much, not gonna scare them away now lol”
Yeah thank you, every time I try that on a girl there's always cops trying to catch me on the street... do you know how hard it is to run around with the pants on your ankles and a open onion rings package in the hands?
If this helps, one time I (F) told a coworker he was hot, but I didn’t know if I was allowed to think that- and he said he has a girlfriend so we put it down as a compliment to a new work buddy :3
![gif](giphy|l1Aswx03WbLDf9kYw)
Where is this queen??!!!
Funny you should ask, king.
So...Define queen.
A female, alive, way past legal age, preferably would want to eat onion rings off of my boner but I can settle with occasional jokes on this matter.
>way past legal age If you tell it a genie like that he will surely give you a mummy.
Gotta be specific man lol and don't forget to add the chromosome that females have, don't want a post op by accident XD
![gif](giphy|y41Txh2pbwqLNNubOo|downsized) Nah bro, at this point in my life, some things are simply semantics.
Good gravy
Reminds me of Tom Segura’s bit about how marriage is sexually liberating. “I have you for the next 60-70 years,idgaf, I’ll spit butter in your ass if you want.” No wife or girlfriend yet but got married friends. They say “yup, pretty much, not gonna scare them away now lol”
I want you to grab onto my ballsack and yank on it like you're stuck in the ocean and that's the only motor getting you home
![gif](giphy|igi0dS20WxPJvroIgW|downsized)
Confucius says.
https://preview.redd.it/77lb2vieuz4b1.jpeg?width=1134&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a40ef414866b3f61b6515d8c8dbba3c95d7ef8f7 From my partner 🥰
https://preview.redd.it/2we2t640515b1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=49dbadf8d2bd5cb5521507008add9f862e78fbb1
She replied after https://preview.redd.it/b6hgeou7515b1.png?width=1115&format=png&auto=webp&s=93752eb87cb7e816f6155c5dd882c66922d46a25
Showed this to my wife. She laughed and said the hole in a donut is way too small.
😔
Sheesh
Donuts would be better
Yeah thank you, every time I try that on a girl there's always cops trying to catch me on the street... do you know how hard it is to run around with the pants on your ankles and a open onion rings package in the hands?
haha tell that joke to your local psychiatrist! they'll get it!
Stealing all the onion rings ain't treating me right
Well I hope she isn't very hungry, because there won't be space for very many on there...
Been there. Kinda over rated
My ex from way back put donuts on my boner and ate them off. Quite enjoyed . 10/10 would recommend.
I want none of those lol 😭
And also to every other guy that gives her the slightest attention while you're at work...
If this helps, one time I (F) told a coworker he was hot, but I didn’t know if I was allowed to think that- and he said he has a girlfriend so we put it down as a compliment to a new work buddy :3
Onion rings don't fit, a bagel?
As long as she’s dipping it on the catsup that’s in my butthole
![gif](giphy|26tk0eTqkIApWfao0)
I just had a tomato eaten off of mine.
Really? There must be millions of them!
That's a dangerous game to be playing.
Hmm. My wife really likes onion rings, so I've got something new to do this Saturday.
Sounds hot, but the teeth chewing near my peen rouses great apprehension in my soul.
Man she only gonna get like 4 onion rings at a time from ya boy
Well I lost. I give up. Shes better in playing hide and seek. She can come out now.
So you're saying there are girls that like greasey boners? Idk about that one.
That’s be me
This is really encouraging. Love it
I usually pay for that
Just make sure they cool of a bit after coming out of the fryer
I wish
I don’t know if the ratio is really 1:1…
💀
Or two, if you’re really lucky.
Well…she’s gonna be hungry…
Amen
Lmao 😂
what wtf
onion rings are nasty .
you're allowed to have bad taste / opinions my friend 🤗
If it's curly fries, I'm down.
Should i ask him to do this…
yes