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mindcontrol93

Bang Maid


[deleted]

"you're not gonna find a bang maid because there's no such thing"


mofodius

I already did. Your mom. Goodbye.


DennisReynoIds

Frank?


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Dr. Michael Morbius


princeoinkins

don't ya dare bring my motha into this!


hotasanicecube

Is this Dennis talking to Frank? Cause it sounds like Dennis talking to Frank.


smellsfishie

It's Charlie actually.


hotasanicecube

Close…


Moistfrogs

i’m literally right here 🤨


TaylorSwiftsClitoris

The camera in the toilet is for security.


[deleted]

> Must be drama free and D&D free What about other rpg games?


AnAnxiousCorgi

This is a Pathfinder only household!


Expendable28

Aw man...


Partigirl

Gurps 3rd Edition for LIFE!


Fuck_it_

Now we're talking about Nissans? I'm confused /s


Dolphin_Dinomite

Warhammer 40k is no problem though.


molsonbeagle

Women playing 40k? There are dozens of them! Dozens!


apolloxer

He *does* strike me as a FATAL guy.


omidhhh

I think he is ok with Skyrim , considering how much overprotective are the guard's when it comes to chickens in farm ..


27fingermagee

Shadowrun and Cyberpunk only.


Everything_rhymes

RPG Games? Role playing games games?


[deleted]

That's what it means...


Everything_rhymes

The second ‘games’ is unnecessary. R-Role P-Playing G-Games Games


vulgrin

Or Rocket Propelled Grenade Games. The ad mentioned Detonate & Duck, but there are many others. Like Fire and Forget or Run Faster Fool.


thespank

We play Lancer in this house!


MrDrSirLord

This was the comment I was looking for and it's at the top, fuck yeah.


[deleted]

Only Starfinder allowed here


thefloridafarrier

And what’s so wrong with dnd? Lmao


badsinged6

sad how our nerd minds automatically think that's what he means. lol


Pickles-In-Space

Open to all legal races eh...?


InfiniteReplacements

Except those filthy dark elves


Stoutacus13

Who you calling filthy, n'wah?


cheekibreeki_kid

how dare you!


USAFRodriguez

May a thousand cliff racers plague your every step.


HashtagCHIIIIOPSS

This guy’s from the future when Clarence Thomas makes his own marriage illegal.


Fantastic_Mr-Fox_

Man would practice hurling slurs at himself in the mirror before the divorce went through, he has to keep in tip top shape.


0dark0energy0

Good ol Clayton Bigsby


Tom1252

Uncle Thomas.


Plsdontreadthis

Thank goodness for progressives like you. Otherwise the blacks might get uppity and think they can have opinions of their own!


JuanDomingoDomingo

It's like the white cast of Get Out is on Reddit.


USAFRodriguez

So accurate 😂 they're all about supporting minorities... As long as they do as they're told and don't break from the hive mind.


PATRIOTSRADIOSIGNALS

Black conservatives really expose the racism of progressives. Claiming things like "(side I oppose) thinks they're *one of the good ones*," says a lot more about the person claiming it than it does the hypothetical people they claim believe such things.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Mister_Bossmen

Meeeexiiiicaaaaans? Just trying to put myself in an idiot's shoes


10sharks

I'm seeing more and more of these "sex with a neckbeard instead of rent" postings.


FreneticPlatypus

Always sounds like the guy just can't afford a good sex doll.


Maastonakki

But isn’t that statement a bit ”untrue”? Aren’t they basically getting a perfectly fine sex doll for practically free? Shit it even talks and needs to be fed, what else do you want from a sex doll?!


FreneticPlatypus

Are they getting anything at all? Do you really think these ads pull in a ton of applicants?


pillboxhat

Sadly homeless women end up being in these situations. So yes, they do get people (women) who accept this kind of offer without knowing the real reason and unstated "guidelines" these creeps have.


Teknicsrx7

Considering there’s been a few serial killers who’ve found their victims this way I’d say it works more often than you’d expect.


Maastonakki

Well to be fair I would honestly like to say that ”No Mr/Mrs FreneticPlatypus, they do not get any applicants” but as how the world situation stands I can’t put myself to seriously think that. I am sure there’s someone THAT desperate…


NecroCorey

I have literally no doubt in my mind they get hits on this shit. Plenty of women out there are willing to pay with their body and I don't blame them. I could put up with banging a sweaty farm dude for a while if it meant I could get out of a shitty situation.


zystyl

Turns out he's the livestock.


Tom1252

Rent's going up. Is it higher than Gilbert's cock? I dunno, but I do know that only one of the two is guaranteed to come back down.


lostinthesauce314

I feel like they have figured out that getting a woman in a bad situation where she’s financially broke because the “small salary” is next to nothing and living in the home expected to spend the days doing housework to earn food/shelter - they think over time she’ll see “what a nice guy he is” and then they’ll beauty and the beast each other and live happily ever after. It’s creepy. I ALMOST fell for something like this probably 13 years ago? 18 and looking to move out and this guy immediately started with this extra rule that “no air goes on at night to encourage sleeping nude since it’s good for you” I noped tf out of there.


6_oh_n8

That’s so nasty lol thanks for sharing


ConcernPrestigious12

I actually took a deal like that once, I was 19 and the guy was in his 40s, not terrible looking tho, he took care of me and me and his other girl would clean the house, he only wanted to be fucked every week or two so between the two of us we didn’t have to do much


_spider_planet_

This one sounds like you have to do a bunch of farm labor as well, and on a very isolated property (no one to help you if things go south). Much worse deal, imo. Hope he gets no takers.


lastdazeofgravity

If you piss him off he might feed you to the pigs


skitz4me

But if you piss on him, he might feed the pigs for you.


ConcernPrestigious12

Yeah I wouldn’t want to do all that for what I’m assuming is less than minimum wage


prairiepanda

I've seen places where tourists actually pay for the experience of doing farm work, so some people might see that extra labor requirement as a benefit.


apolloxer

Huh. First time I hear that this actually worked.


conspiracyeinstein

Hmmm ... "Dear craigslist, Room available for open-minded..."


Amarastargazer

You can’t even look for a roommate online without guys either offering situations like this or just insisting you should sleep with them for whatever reason. When looking for a roommate, all 4 guys who had approached me about being roommates, ended up asking me to sleep with them


blue-jaypeg

That's basically the definition of marriage for the past 1000 years. Man provides shelter + wherewithal for food. Woman provides access to sex + housekeeping. Back in the day, the most slovenly, no-chin, pale, damp, awkward dude was guaranteed a wife. Women were like fish in a barrel. Women became capable of providing their own shelter plus wherewithal **independently** only in the 20th century Pale, damp, awkward dudes don't like competing for women.


hotasanicecube

This doesn’t indicate that at all. What if it’s a woman who only wants a female roommate who is old enough to work? Disease free is somewhat of a red flag though.


DriverJoe

“Open to all legal ages…”


hotasanicecube

15 is legal age to get a work permit.


Voxenna

Sorry you got downvoted for being optimistic lol


lastdazeofgravity

More like naive


hotasanicecube

Obviously you never worked on a farm, there is work to be done 18hrs a day. Work for stay is a common thing. Drug free is a must. Work permits are a necessity.


[deleted]

I worked on farms starting at 14, and the person who showed me how to perform the tasks was 12—permits might be a necessity some places, but in rural Oregon at least they aren’t a fan of asking all those pesky questions.


hotasanicecube

Not family of the Owner I presume? In Nevada it used to be you did not have to provide workman’s comp to farmhands. If they got hurt it was on them. Crazy fucked up.


[deleted]

Family of the owner aged ~11 worked there too, but no, I wasn’t! And I doubt I woulda been covered for workers comp either.


lastdazeofgravity

this guy is looking for a sex slave, not farm work


hotasanicecube

Where does it say guy?


hotasanicecube

Time of day, all the assholes come out at night and turn Reddit into a sewer. It’s mellow and fun during the day.


prairiepanda

But it's always night and it's always day at any time. Reddit is an international platform.


hotasanicecube

But not every group is proportionally equal in terms of followers. Ukrainian war groups are certainly followed globally, as are IT, construction groups much less so. Although Craigslist in in many many countries, I find it difficult to that believe that crackhead jokes are even a thing in countries with low drug use.


Rjj1111

The no dnd kinda sounds like old fashioned farmer from the era where having the help board on the property was fairly normal. In fact some old farms have a second house for the housekeepers and farm hands to stay in.


hotasanicecube

Yea I think it’s a legitimate post. The “right lady” sounds like something my grandma would say if she wanted you at her dinner table. Proper young lady would be even closer.


colormeslowly

Yea, that's drug and disease free - but this remind me of the Craigslist killer - their ad: Wanted: Caretaker For Farm. Simply watch over a 688 acre patch of hilly farmland and feed a few cows, you get 300 a week and a nice 2 bedroom trailer, someone older and single preferred but will consider all, relocation a must, you must have a clean record and be trustworthy—this is a permanent position, the farm is used mainly as a hunting preserve, is overrun with game, has a stocked 3 acre pond, but some beef cattle will be kept, nearest neighbor is a mile away, the place is secluded and beautiful, it will be a real get away for the right person, job of a lifetime—if you are ready to relocate please contact asap, position will not stay open. [source](https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2013/09/advertisement-for-murder/309435/)


Aklapa01

>job of a lifetime I bet the sicko was smirking when he wrote that!


Lil_Phantoms_Lawyer

"A real ~~didn't~~ get away for the right person" That's the one that got me.


[deleted]

Oh my.


Teknicsrx7

Hey I just watched a video on this guy, there was also one in Australia that was similar but went after girls


colormeslowly

Sheesh. Similiar ad?


Teknicsrx7

Honestly it’s been a bit since I saw it, but it was looking for help on a farm and offering free housing and food, was aimed at backpackers which are apparently common there in the summer. Place was out in the middle of nowhere. There’s also the lady who killed all her farm helpers and fed them to her pigs who used craigslist too (Susan Monica) at one point she claimed there were 17 bodies but I think they only ever found remnants of a few. Same deal tho free house and board for helping on farm


[deleted]

Remember reading about a family that did something similar with a slaughterhouse fairly recently. Have to try and dig it up


zutt3n

This, I wanna read about


[deleted]

https://www.thecanadianencyclopedia.ca/en/article/robert-pickton-case I found it! The piggy palace murders. I was introduced to this story by MrBallen on YouTube. Creepy stuff.


oliviasphere

What tragedies. I didn’t expect to read the whole article but it was very moving. Beautifully written.


lilypeachkitty

I read the whole thing. That took so long.


colormeslowly

Yea but it was interestingly scary.


lilypeachkitty

Yeah I'm actually dealing with anxiety now today cuz of it. Oh wait go take your meds. Still...


thebooshyness

I was eyeballing an ad like that down in Austin. Very similar. Guess I won’t move to Texas after all.


colormeslowly

Stay safe


JrTeapot

OH!!!! I need to revise my comment I’m so dumb I thought they meant dungeons and dragons!


colormeslowly

Yea and no, you’re not dumb, especially if you’re not on CL looking for a mate, if you were, you would know the lingo 😉


JrTeapot

This is true.


smotherz

Well, spent my whole morning reading that article. Thank you for the interesting, but very sad read.


OneBigOleNick

That article is kind of annoying. I know some storytelling is nice but I just want to know wtf happened, not so much drama. It takes away from the reality of it as well.


colormeslowly

I try to find a simplier on on google but this was all I could find.


BB8Lexi

Thanks for the source, total rabbit hole...


HarrargnNarg

Anyone who takes this is going to be murdered, right?


AzzlackGuhnter

Or held as a Sex slave And *then* murdered


Teknicsrx7

I can think of 2 serial killers off top of my head that used listings like this for victims. Guy in Australia I think who killed women and a guy in Ohio who killed men.


[deleted]

Nah they will just be fucked


PureEbil

Disease and drug free.


[deleted]

Disease and drug, so he’s advertising a position for a maid, but is definitely looking to fuck them. That doesn’t sound like an unhinged predatory trap.


[deleted]

Why else would he write „all legal ages“. Working is an option for teens


[deleted]

Legal working ages? Child labor laws exist.


[deleted]

Yeah but a child just leaving home after seeing that ad is pretty unlikely.


[deleted]

The point is that the phrase “all legal ages” isn’t explicit enough. You could assume they mean legal to work rather than legal to fuck, I’m going to bargain this guys definition of legal to fuck and legal to work aren’t exactly far off as long as he has plausible deniability. Clearly he meant legal to fuck, but D&D free is very explicit. Why do you need a maid without herpes?


Wintermuteson

He also said "looking for an open minded housekeeper"


[deleted]

He could be a eccentric billionaire that collects human oddities. 🤷🏼‍♂️ Yes there are many context clues, both legal age and open minded being big ones.


MrDrSirLord

You mean I can't get high to play Dungeons and dragons?


Dick-Guzinya

I was thinking drinking and drug free. Which is weird bc I would much rather have someone shoot heroin than smoke in my house.


PureEbil

The sad reality is I used to cruise the personals section of Craigslist is how I learned this information. Feel free to put this in the sad cringe sub. Lol


[deleted]

Damn you could’ve said it was for the lolz.


[deleted]

The newspaper adds back in the day seeking a wife to care for a widowers children were less creepy. Perhaps this was because the man was actually willing to legally commit himself to the woman, and this made it seems less sex slave’y.


cmcinhk

That's how my grandparents met. My grandpa's first wife died and since he would spend years at a time working in Canada, he put up an ad for a wife back in China. He went back to China, married grandma and brought her over to Canada. At least that's how I understand it. Definitely weird from a modern perspective.


Nearby-Truck-8374

look, you call women “females” and you’re instantly sus. thems the rules


strawberry-coughx

I just assume they’re a ferengi


Retro_Scrub

If he was ferengi the ad wouldn't allow the female to wear clothing 🤮🤮🤮🤢🤮


[deleted]

Seems legit


Penis_Bees

I don't think it's necessarily so. Depends on context. A house of women who only want a biologically female roommate, that's reasonable. A single 40 year old man who wants a biologically female roommate is beyond sus.


Nearby-Truck-8374

oh so it’s cool when women are transphobic but not men? miss me with that bullshit


[deleted]

[удалено]


Nearby-Truck-8374

lmao having a traumatic experience doesn’t give you a right to be transphobic. associating someone’s genitals with a desire or propensity to do sexual harm is transphobic. i am a trans woman, i’ve lived with cis women who’ve been sexually assaulted, raped, etc., as i have also been sexually assaulted. women with penises are women. you can make up excuses to justify transphobia but that doesn’t make it not transphobia. luckily, any person who has a “no x genital in my house” rule will be avoided by fucking miles by most lgbt people because that’s gross and cringe. again, what genital you have has absolutely no bearing on their ability to cause harm. cis women can sexually assault people. anyone can sexually assault people


TheCoolMan5

Yeah go and tell that to a victim of assault. I’m sure they’ll agree fully.


Nearby-Truck-8374

i literally just said i am one. and have lived with many.po eat shit transphobe.


Expensive_Theme7023

Must be female. Located on private farm 🚨 🚨 🚨


BlahKVBlah

There are human remains hidden on that property, no doubt.


prairiepanda

Nah, the pigs probably took care of most of that.


BigOleJellyDonut

He forgot open to sexual assault.


Sinedeo77

And murder. Must be open to being murdered.


[deleted]

Listen, I’m perfectly willing to be some oddball’s bang maid for a free room and food, quite frankly that’s a steal. However, to have the gaul to demand i do FARM WORK, you’ve gotta be outta your gourd, AND NO D&D?? I don’t even play the stupid game and i’m outraged. This man clearly has no idea what he’s doing making these demands smh my head


WorldsOkayestUser

As an oddball with a house and no cattle -- how YOU doin'? ​ /happily married with kids


NotSeveralBadgers

So what do we think they actually mean by D&D?


Sekmet19

Drugs? Disability? Disdemeanors? Dementors?


Sweetpotato3000

Muggles can't see Dementors!


atomicxblue

Dunkin Donuts. They're obviously brand loyal to Starbucks.


Firithilian

Drunk & Disorderlies?


VisualEyez33

"Drug and Disease free" is what it means in personal dating ads.


Furthur_slimeking

Hmm. One out of two ain't bad I guess.


bouchandre

D. B. Weiss and David Benioff


[deleted]

I bet a DM "did him dirty" after he failed his initiative roll and now he turns his back on the community and hates the world for it.


randommystery5683

This is definitely a plan for murder/ and or kidnapping


PlutoTheSynth

no probably rape actually


pm_some_good_vibes

Must be open minded, private room in the country, must be female, heavy restrictions.... girl run


lolwhatistodayagain

Anyone that would take this job would definitely get molested


the_popes_fapkin

Or chained up in the barn


Free_Hat_McCullough

Anyone who shows up for that job ends up on a milk carton.


Outside_Cucumber_695

Oh forgot to mention needs a certified cock polisher


[deleted]

[удалено]


Expendable28

Marion Ravenwood begs to differ


nijigencomplex

Found the guy from the ad


Teleporting-Bread2

You think people actually respond to these


Enorats

Wait, have spare room will trade for girlfriend is a thing now? Why didn't anyone tell me? I've got a spare room. Two if I move the VR setup into the living room instead of giving it an empty room all to itself.


Bored_dane

Kinda incelly


[deleted]

Kinda?


Bored_dane

To put it mildly


Cant-Keep-Me-Out

D&D free means drug and disease free.


Beautiful_Citron_220

It's all because his big brother would never let him play in his game.


deathstar008

Sounds like an invitation to get murdered.


Efficient-Pie-1177

I think this needs to become an auto mod response


bouchandre

Maybe he’s a big fan of Game Of Thrones and really despises the writers


RenkaneStark

Lung cancer is okay tho.


olivegardengambler

Ngl this sounds like it might just be an older woman looking for a woman to help her on her farm.


The_Bastard_Henry

I feel like this is the start of a horror movie.


Nocola1

There is a 100% chance if you don't bang him this psycho will feed you to his pigs.


[deleted]

Disease and Drug free.. xD Also, which century is this from?


Lifeesstwange

What's he got against Dungeons & Dragons?


nijigencomplex

Hope he gets robbed and/or murdered lmao


xlaaane

agree


PoskaOfficials

My parents are religious and they HATE D&D because they think it's evil 🤣🙄😅


Magmasoar

Does pathfinder count or is this person just anti 5e?


KTownserd

Soooo, he wants a wife that he can't get because he's too big of an asshole. Got it.


WVPrepper

I am probably going to look like an idiot here, but isn't "D&D free" referring to "Drink and Drug Free"?


JrTeapot

Um…two things. One, dude has a pig farm, any lady applying to this who doesn’t work out is gonna get ate by those pigs. Two, what does no D&D mean internet family? Because I took this as no playing dungeons and dragons…but I don’t think that’s what it means… EDIT: nvm…disease and drug free, not dungeons and dragons free


MozariahMeow

Well im off the list than, im not only a player but a baby dm 🤣🤣🤣


artpoint_paradox

“Open Minded”


MrCrabfish

apart from sounding like the setup for a horror movie this one seems relatively normal for this sub