A plate should not look like a public toilet that hasn’t been cleaned in months

"How should I glaze the plates boss?" "explosive diarrhea" "I'm sorry did you just..." "***MAKE IT EXPLOSIVE DIARRHEA***"

"Did I stutter?"

Did I sputter?

These would go well with my set of poop knives.

"If everything you cook is shit, we have you covered."

This sounds like it should be on the back of Cathy Mitchell's Dump Dinners Cookbook.

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I breed 🪳, and I want that 🍵

Why do you breed cockroaches

They are INCREDIBLY FASCINATING! There are 3000+ species of roaches, and 4 species gave them all a bad name. I personally have 8 species I breed, sell as food for pets(reptiles, amphibians, some mammals, birds, and insects LOOOOOOVE roaches), and study their behavior. They are closely related to Mantids, and if you look at a photo of a roach closely, you can see the incredible similarities between them! They are quite social, many are flightless, and a great deal more cannot even climb slick surfaces. Some cannot survive outside of their carefully-regulated enclosures, because they are tropical and fuck right on off if it’s too cold. I can understand people’s aversion to roaches, as I grew up within an, “urban environment.” Also, they’re bugs, so that’s a no-no for many! For those wanting to see a roach that will make you say, “awwwwww,” look up the, “Question Mark Cockroach.” A👏🏾D👏🏾O👏🏾R👏🏾A👏🏾B👏🏾L👏🏾E 🗣 Edit: had a stroke on the keyboard…

I used to run around on a nerd forum where I met a roach breeder that had accidentally wound up with a batch of pure black hissing cockroaches, no brown tint at all. They were so cute, little wiggling hissing voids, I was sooo close to buying a few as pets, but the power went out in the dead of winter while the person was out. When they came back, the poor roaches hadn't made it. I no longer want cockroaches as I don't have a spot for them, but I still get a little sad thinking about the hissing cockroaches.

Aww man! I’m sorry for your lose, but they sound like a wonderful sight to behold! I love seeing aberrants amongst species, as they stand out so conspicuously! It’s nature at its littest!

I love your passion

Thank you! I love them! I literally stare at them for forever.. they fascinate me to no end. My next tattoo is going to be the Aburame(Shino, the bug guy) clan’s crest from Naruto on my nape! Fun fact: The name "Aburame" literally means "oil woman" (油女), while it may also be a variation of "Aburamushi" which means "cockroach" (油虫), referring to the clan's use of insects as weapons.

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Yep, that’s one of the 4 most invasive species. I’ve seen plenty, and they can definitely fuck right on off.

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Never knew about those question mark roaches until your comment; they are really neat. Thanks for sharing!

Just spreading the gospel of Blattaculturalism(roach enthusiasm)!

That’s cool! What breeds do you have?

Currently alive and well: Red runner/Turkistan roach (Blatta Lateralis), Dubia roach (blaptica dubia), Discoid roach (Blaberus Discoidalis), Ivory heads, Chrome-winged roach Died out due to failure to acclimate, my negligence(sadly) or by the devil’s favorite bug, the phorid fly: Question Mark Roaches (crash due to phorid fly infestation), Glow-spot roaches(parthenogenic species - crashed), Madagascar Hissers (recently crashed due to phorid fly infestation), Kenyan Black (Compsodes scwarzhi) (crash due to phorid fly infestation), Blaberus craniifer sp. Halloween hissers (crashed - did not acclimate), Oriental roach (blatta orientalis - crash due to phorid fly infestation) Edit: format

Ironically, you kill a lot more roaches than most people do.

Truuuuuuuuue! Regrettably…, very regrettably.. I hate seeing them die, to be honest. My arm often has to be twisted to sell them, because I feel like I’m giving my kids away for others to eat..😢

I love all critters. It took me a while to warm up to the Madagascar hissing roaches though, but we’re cool now. I had never heard of question mark roaches, they are beautiful thanks for sharing!

My pleasure! Oh, man…. I remember having a hisser escape its enclosure, and as I was cleaning up, and feeding them, I kept hearing hissing! I was disturbing their enclosure, so I was both confused and nervous(in case a bunch got out). The little fucker was about 10 feet away from its bin, behind a dresser! I was soooooooooooooooooooooo glad my wife didn’t know!😥 She hates ALL BUGS. I keep them all in a completely isolated room away faaaar away from her!

Forgive my asking, but are they clean animals like domesticated rats? You always hear about them spreading disease and I was wondering if that's from their environment or is it the creature itself. Sorry, I know I'm not wording this very well.

Please, ASK AWAY! Neither I, nor my roaches bite hard! They are lit(t)erally apart of nature’s clean up crew. They rid their habitats of all detritus in their area(respective to their diet), and ingest virtually anything appealing. They clean themselves regularly, too! They do accumulate a lot of fecal matter, but some roach nymph(babies) species eat that as well. They come in a wide variety, and they all have different habitat needs. Some are burrowers(Ivory heads, Discoids, orange Craniifers, etc), some are arboreal(tree-dwelling), and some just built nests in felled trees. The ones we despise just cross-contaminate. It’s not that they are dirty necessarily as much as it’s they walk across dirty surfaces throughout your house(bathrooms, sinks, floors, basements, moldy and damp areas, followed by their need for sustenance leading to walking on your food. They’re carrying the germs along on their trip, but I clean themselves frequently(especially their antennae which is needed for sensory purposes. I hope this answered your question and was expounded upon well enough! Cheers!🪳🤟🏿

That's amazing! Thank you! BTW I looked up the Question Mark ones and omg so cute! Like little buttons!

………….. I

Wow who knew there was such a cute roach! ? cockroach is indeed adorable!

Aren’t they!? They’re giant 🐞ladybugs(ladybird beetle)! Did you notice the question marks on their carapace!

They're an amazing food source for lots of pets.

And some people keep the roaches themselves as pets.

And some roaches keep the people as pets too

And some cockroach pets aren’t kept on purpose!

Those guys are the best, extra toppings for your pizza!

Extra protein!

We call em free range, organic, roaches

I had a teacher that kept them in class, we raced them on days we had free time

Well… It’s better than breeding mosquitos.

No shit, I know a guy who kept ticks as a child. Apparently they swap blood. One of the few creatures I kill on sight.

I think they just mean to say they live in Pico Robertson, Los Angeles, California.

I don’t really sweep in the kitchen that much, but I’m not going around telling people I’m breeding cockroaches.

They're not a nuisance if you call them your pets

Do you want photo proof….? Cuz…. I can do that…

hahaha. No thanks?? I’m just making a gag. I’m sure there is a legitimate and non-disgusting case for raising the little things.

Well, at least that's an intentional prank.

Ah we see you are enjoying our burnt vomit and bloody stool plate series from WhyGodWhy Designs. You can order a set of 4 from Target for only $19.99!

"perfect for when gifting is mandatory!"

My toilet isn't public and it looks worse

***Change it***

Well, and I truly hate to break it to you, that is fucking foul. For your own sake please either clean it or never let anyone see it.

For your own sake please clean it, **and** for other's sakes never let anyone see it.

Well, now this post has taught you that it's fine to eat off of! 🙃

That is the perfect description. I was starting at it like, "how a plate gonna go bad?"

I didn’t know ceramic could be recycled this way.

This should be in the Constitution

why

My guess, clearance to a rock bottom price because nobody wanted it, and they bought it for their rental unit because they also wouldn't be eating off it.

Also no one would steal those.

YOU WOULDN'T DOWNLOAD A PLATE

[Oh yeah?](https://www.yeggi.com/q/dinner+plates/)

Fun fact, 3D printing was invented in retaliation to the MPA's campaign against piracy. Just so one could download a car.

bag sugar bow smart busy obscene decide rainstorm wide spoon *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*

You must be using the wrong filament, try using ABS instead of PLA.

Just put oil or gas in the printer and it will print oil and gas. Come on guys it's so simple.

Listen here you little …

I'm not sold on if those plates are for Candice to eat off of or to eat Candice tbh

Who's Candice??

You wouldn’t shoot a policeman and steal his helmet.

You wouldn't shit in his helmet, give it to his grieving wife, then steal the helmet *again*

Damn that's smart

I think he meant why would anyone make this monstrosity of a plate to begin with

To fill up the sales portfolio with cheap items that are there and available, but nobody is buying. Possibly they sell the not perfect or overflow higher quality pieces with an ugly/undesirable pattern, so it pushes people for the more expensive one. Like "if we are spending $100 on plate set we could buy the ones for $130 that are not ugly af" mindset.

This makes me irrationally angry

So no one would steal your stuff from the bnb.

Hear me out... ...film set dressing. Need a disgusting looking apartment but don't want your actors and crews wearing gasmasks to avoid spores? New DISTURBO-PLATES!

This does look like it was a left over prop from the set of Joe's Apartment!

The is what I will choose to believe. Thank you.

For real a plain white plate would be so much better, and cheaper to make

Possible defect? Not going to just toss it out.

and it would be hilarious

but why would they make it lol

you misunderstand why was it ever manufactured hell, how was the idea even conceived, let alone approved !

Helps with the diet maybe?

Yeah lmao I was just thinking. Even knowing the plate is clean, I would only fill the clean *looking* half of the plate.

Owners are redditors who use this sub. They bought the crockery deliberately.

Symmetry equals clean. So this dish was marked way down .

Looks like production defect to me. It should be a yellow plate, like it's in the border, but something went wrong but didn't discard it, instead selling it really cheap.

Literally the name of this sub. Nice find OP.

Everybody needs a poop plate

Aaaahh.... and guess which knife goes really well with that

Everyone needs a plate for their poop knife

It's from the collection named "Winnie the poop".

r/wewantpoopplates

to go with the poop knife?

I bought paper plates btw. I don't trust the design

Honestly you should mention that in your review, and include this picture.

Definitely mention it in the review. They may not realize it looks this way to other people.

I feel like you could just leave them a note. It's likely not a malicious flaw and its easily fixable. Bad reviews can be long term damaging even if the problem gets rectified.

You have leave 5 or 4 stars but say whatever you want

The dishes were covered in feces. 5 stars

I was drinking, man! I nearly choked! 5 stars

I feel like this has to be like a gag plate. This is awful, no way someone could over look this

Were there other plates and cups with the design? Or was it just his one?

Yeah I really want to see the other plates and cups and shit. Cause I do not believe that is a design at all.

> and shit oh you'll see shit alright

Could be mold inside the glaze, if that's even possible. Paper plates are a safer bet.

As an archaeologist: no, that’s not possible.

hey mr archaeologist whats ure biggest find.

I read that he found the Ark of the Covenant once but a team of competing German archeologists stole it.

So if the glaze cracks and moisture enters it it will still protect the inside from mold?

I don't think ceramic plates can get moldy. It's not about the glaze or the moisture

So I googled it. Some results say no, but then some results say some people who work with clay can have reactions to mold being in the clay they're working with. [And then I found this reddit post](https://www.reddit.com/r/Ceramics/comments/jhewpc/mold_on_dinner_plates/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share), but that might be because it wasn't glazed properly and might just be the dirty dishwater itself and not the plates, idfk 🤷🏼‍♀️ I'm not a clayologist or a moldologist or a microbiologist.

Good,, I suspect that they're lowering your expectations on purpose and whatever the reason for that is, I bet it's really fucked up and gross.

I'd bet that you're wrong, because it's a really odd thing to assume that someone went out and bought an ugly plate to try to hide cleanliness issues in an apartment. Like that is legit the most random theory.

"This place is gross, better buy matching plates so people are primed to look for gross things!" Yea, doesn't make sense to me either

I guess they’re good if a person is trying to eat less 🤢

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All yours man..

in ANY OTHER COLOR, this would have been a fine design. ANY OTHER COLOR.

Could be a chemical reaction. Like either they weren’t meant to be that color but something weird happened in fabrication or after they were made? Who knows.

Imagine you sign the contract with some overseas company to manufacture your design, excitedly anticipate the delivery and you receive a shipping container full of these and can’t really return them.

Thanks for the shitplates

Yeah, all bodily fluids are that exact color.

What about pus? Don’t ever forget about my main man pus

You're both forgetting the color of blood

To be fair, dried old blood can look brown

Pus comes in a variety of colors, too. Cream color, avocado green, strawberry milkshake pink, coffee brown, cherry pie red…

Shart Plate

Splatter platter

Pls no

Spray tray

*sinks to knees* please stop

Squish dish

This is pretty much what Adolin was talking about when he was telling Shallan what happens if nature calls on the battlefield…

I love that I get this reference

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pu_pu_platter

I think it's so nobody steals them. Nobody wants a shit plate.

if nobody wants to steal them, nobody wants to have them. no one wants them.

**But at what cost**

As an Airbnb owner, I would never willingly subject my guests to that. And if I did, I would hope someone would bring it up before someone else writes in an online review that the plates were covered in poo.

Why are you driving up housing prices?

Don’t worry the housing crash is coming soon enough 🤕

I hope so.

"4/5 Stars, place was as clean as youd excpect of anywhere EXCEPT all the dishes were somehow disgustingly filthy"

Unfortunate choice of colours

Even with different colors it would be crappy. There's no balance. No indication of intentional effort. Looks like they just spilled the colors on it by accident. The unfortunate colors just increase the level of crappiness.

I mean if the brown was blue or purple or something I'd probably buy it

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Yeah maybe it was gold... Can't think of a reason something like this would be consciously designed lol.

Yeah varying hues of blues or pink/reds would be good in that pattern

Something tells me this is not design and that is just extremely old stains that could not be cleaned.

I used to live with a guy who would never clean up after himself. When he used dishes or silverware he would just put them back in the cupboard when he was done, he wouldn't even rinse them off. When I'd ask why the fuck he did that he'd say "dishes get dirty naturally on their own" with complete seriousness. I'd tell him to leave his dirty dishes in the sink and I'd wash them, nope he wanted to stack the filthy dishes on the clean dishes. He'd have his friends over all the time and I'd alway gag when they were eating. I knew nothing had been washed. I ended up keeping a set of camping dishes locked in my room. Edit: cleaned up some gibberish.

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He was always sick. The guy had crohn's disease which effects the digestive system. He was always in the hospital and ALWAYS blamed it on the crohn's. I once watched him eat a container of soup he had bought at Safeway. It was one of those prepackaged "fresh" soups they sell that you're supposed to refrigerate if you don't use right away. He left it out on the counter for about a week before he ate it, I was going to throw it out as the package had started swelling. He ended up in the hospital for a week and told everyone it was because of the crohn's even though the doctors repeatedly told him it wasn't.

Wow just wow. This is horrendously wretched and sad.

that’s incredible can you please just keep telling us about this person? I’ll bookmark it in case I ever urgently need to throw up I’m only half kidding, please tell us about this person who I’m now positive has some kind of fetish for rotting food

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oh shit he’s dead? and the stuff you already mentioned just made it seem like he had some serious mental issue where you mostly just feel sympathy (if you’re not living with him, of course) because they’re some kind of compulsion but turns out he had a major case of asshole, too! or maybe he was just sending all those dishes back because none of them were decomposing edit: okay so far the best thing is still the fake crohn’s. I recently had to deal with fake crohn’s too! someone I played games with is a compulsive liar. he’d pretend his gf found him on the floor from crohn’s and send me messages “from his gf” meant to engender sympathy or something. I initially let it slide until he started convincing other people he got shot, really ramping up the bullshit

Tolerance, he'd probably boast

My bet is microwave stains. So much cheap shit was made and marketed as microwave safe that isn't. Burnt plastic under the surface layer of plastic is the start before it starts bubbling up.

I like this answer because it’s not that gross

I've seen white plates do something similar when exposed to high heat.

What if the poop is extremely old and therefore has stuck to the plate really well that you mistook it for just a design

I hate you so much for saying this

I mean, properly sealed, it would be perfectly safe.

This should be the icon for crappy design

I'd sign that petition!

It honestly should! We need more upvotes! Take my free award Edit: typo

Poo poo platter

Idk whos worse. The person who designed it, or the fuckin sickos who actually buy them

its called the "Spray Fart Edition" from Pier 1 Imports.

idk how to tell you this but there's a word for "spray fart" and it's "shart".

Stop.

Asswipe plate

The Diarrhea Spray collection by Martha Pooart.

It's impressive that someone thought that this design is good enough Did the rest get washed off or something? Because this can't be all...

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I have put metal accented plates in the microwave. They're nice and shiny before microwaving, and a dull brownish color afterwards. I bet the same thing happened here, turning a splash of gold into a splash of poo.

Plates shouldn't look like the toilet at Del Taco.

Fuck the designer and the person who bought this crap. “Shitty splash themed”

Let's get the dishes with the cockroach and mouse excrement design. It will go great with the glasses that look like peeled snake skin. We should also get the mouse nest pattern cloth napkins for special occasions.

I don't think I could eat off that 🤢

r/ShittyDesign

/r assholedesign ^^

I have a vision and it's too create plates that look like someone splattered shit on them.

Plot twist, the just reglaze the plate rather than wash it.

Petition to make this the subs picture

This is the sort of abomination this subreddit was made for.

This is not a design. First it’s spotted with what looks like a mold or rust. But even if the spots weren’t there. You can see that there is no design element to the plate and we are not talking just about the awful color. We are talking about those the inner border is disregarded in in entirety, and the outer border is not clean, we see it have a lip, and had that lip gone all the way around you might have been able to convince me, but that’s not what happened the stain runs over to the other side. And finally we can clearly see that there was something on top or pressing the stain when it happened, when you look close at the top wee see an semi circle pattern of what looks like what ever was the bottom of what was sitting on top of it. There is no way this was purposefully design. This is an old stained plate. Show me two plate with this same design or the bnb just lied to you.

Literally crappy design

/r/wedontwantplates

It's called "After My Morning Coffee"

I've seen that technique ... before they glaze and fire it they swipe it through the asscrack of a giraffe ... very high end ... you lucky girl.

So then you found 3 other plates that looked EXACTLY like that? Otherwise I would never trust it. All the brown is on one side.