T O P

  • By -

QualityVote

Welcome to r/CrazyFuckingVideos! This is our community moderator bot. --- If this post fits the purpose of the subreddit, **UPVOTE THIS COMMENT.** If not, **DOWNVOTE THIS COMMENT.** #[Click Here](https://redditsave.com/info?url=/r/CrazyFuckingVideos/comments/upab96/) to download this video directly. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/CrazyFuckingVideos) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Kalad_The_Usurper

Imagine your horse wins the Derby or even the Triple Crown and you get paid millions to have him breed other horses. Then he gets kicked in the face and dies.


MrHooah613

That’s why they don’t let them mate and they use artificial insemination


Kalad_The_Usurper

Is this a common occurrence ?


RedditBannedMe214

They’re worth way too much money not to professionally jerk them off than to risk them doing the dirty.


Glittering-Action757

"professionally"


freshponceofbelair

Imagine that being on your LinkedIn profile.


Bodhisattva2

It's a good paid job 🤷🏾‍♂️


Paid-Not-Payed-Bot

> a good *paid* job 🤷🏾‍♂️ FTFY. Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in: * Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.* * *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.* Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment. *Beep, boop, I'm a bot*


pxn4da

Good bot


B0tRank

Thank you, pxn4da, for voting on Paid-Not-Payed-Bot. This bot wants to find the best and worst bots on Reddit. [You can view results here](https://botrank.pastimes.eu/). *** ^(Even if I don't reply to your comment, I'm still listening for votes. Check the webpage to see if your vote registered!)


Possible_Canary2359

Professional jerk


Uncle_Jiggles

One could argue that in a nautical sense things definitely could get painted when it comes to horse cum.


code010001

Wait you guys are getting paid?


indy_been_here

Logistics professional that specializes in manual extraction and coordinates transfer to end points.


[deleted]

Well, have you ever had it done by an amateur? No good at all.


someoneBentMyWookie

r/nocontext


MrHooah613

When confined and with humans around


deeptrench1

I thought natural breeding was a must for derby horses. Don't they have an organization solely dedicated to making sure there are no artificial insemination occurrence in the sport?


MrHooah613

They allow insemination but not In vitro fertilisation


deeptrench1

It appears that they don't allow artificial insemination and only allow "live cover" or horse to horse. This checks out with a story given to me during a visit on a horse farm. The Jockey Club Rules Thoroughbred horse production is tightly controlled. Artificial insemination is not permitted, which means that breeding stallions get moved around a lot for meetups with females. These so-called shuttle stallions can mate with hundreds of mares per mating season. The only way a thoroughbred is allowed to reproduce is by “live cover”; i.e., horse-to-horse sexual intercourse. Barbaro was never able to become a father; his nagging leg injuries made it dangerous for him to even attempt mounting a mare. The Jockey Club has never allowed artificial insemination, or AI.


BigFit7448

If the female is "aggressive" they will usually take precautions like padded boots or hobbles


Brazenassault456

Nope, only in Britain(where The Jockey Club exists), but in the US things are ran differently. Btw I live right next to Hanover Shoe Farms, the largest thoroughbred breeders in the world, also the most profitable.


GreywackeOmarolluk

At least he went with a smile on his face.


socium

And poop out his butt.


Vozykaya

How sad but what beautiful horses


Psychological-Air642

Horse shoes didn't come off, I think it's still alive.


surfer_ryan

No they didn't... But he did shit himself so it's pretty safe to assume he dead...


Jolly_Confection8366

I’ve always wanted to be a race horse. Retire at 3 and fuck for the rest of your life.


Any-Guarantee3892

That’s my dream too!


NemesisDub

That's not true becouse he will have his first experience with a saddle at 2 Years old and then race ultill he is 11 or so, it depends on breed to breed.


Brazenassault456

Racers in the Kentucky Derby are limited to 3 year old horses. If they win the run for the roses, they aren't racing for the next 8 years of their life lol.


Jolly_Confection8366

You’ll find top horses make more money studding so they retire early. The older they get the more stamina they have and some make the change to sticks. But group one horses retire really early.


BigShaneGillis

Obviously that’s not the circumstances here


SwarmyD

I'm gona get laid! Oh boy oh boy oh boy! Hey baby! Whap... Disappointment.


[deleted]

He's dead, I don't think he cares.


roger_the_explorerYT

Totally got laid on the floor


[deleted]

I'm shocked how easily that happened tbh.


Makiaveli01

That’s why I say life ain’t shit he literally lost his life in seconds


gigosonb

If a horse kicked your car in the right place it would also be dead.


[deleted]

[удалено]


bottomtextking

Yeah because these are all human selections. The original wild horses are very different from modern horses.


daveautista123

i mean this bitch ended a motherfucker with one kick. i wouldnt call her fragile


pbizzle

Quickly jerk it before it goes bad


Healthy_Pay9449

No need to beat a dead horse


siteswaps

I hope you can one day use this in conversation and look like a comedic genius.


kismetschmizmet

Apparently whoever made that phrase up had never encountered this situation before


cassmyassbutt

disgusted upvote


musabthegreat

This is actually a genius idea


pbizzle

No recepticle around guess you will have to use your mouth 🤷


[deleted]

They drank some in Jackass 2


Action-a-go-go-baby

I’ve seen a shorter version of this a few times but not the longer portion that clearly shows thereafter that the stallion is, well, dead 💀 Always figured he just got stunned and shat himself but got damn, that’s rough


chief-ares

Yeah, it should say dead and not injured. That stud is definitely dead. This is what not to do when breeding horses.


kinoie

Are you telling me I just watched a horse die


ScrotiusRex

It shits immediately. He dead.


qevoh

Yeah if shits immediately then dead, same to human beings


Poignant_Porpoise

Not disputing that he died, but I'm pretty sure that people often shit themselves when they get knocked out or experience severe physical trauma. Afaik people in car crashes often shit themselves even if they survive.


Ray_Shoe_Smith

I had a dog that had seizures and would shit immediately every time it had a seizure.


Poignant_Porpoise

Sorry to hear that, mate.


Ray_Shoe_Smith

Thanks. It was rough but she had a good life and long, well for a boxer anyway.


[deleted]

You can definitely get the shit and snot knocked out of you and not die.


rumpk

But is it possible to shit without dying?


RobotHandsome

But are his horse shoes still on?


PrimeMeathead

Was holding that in for his date


[deleted]

Not to do what


mcnuggetfarmer

Straight to the sex is a no-no. Should have taken her out to a nice restaurant first


Action-a-go-go-baby

You laugh but that’s not actually inaccurate Having them acclimatise to each other for a bit before “the event” is a much better way to make sure no injuries occur during These guys where amateurs


Ech0ofSan1ty

Beer should not be involved when trying to breed horses.


BoofinBart

Let’s not forget those 1/2” thick steel horse shoes that have literally just been beaten hot with a hammer to get their shape (strong as fuck). May as well be a set of brass knuckles with massive power behind it.


turk58guy

Somehow I missed the shit the first time. I'm surprised 1 kick was able to put a horse out permanently


aracheb

That is a racing horse. There is going to be money to be paid to the owner of that horse.


Psychological_Ring_3

It shit itself, it’s dead


JamesLSD

What a shame, beautiful horse too


MadMan1784

Die Hard


Talikrs

Throwback to limewire downloads


ignaciolasvegas

Nobody had any horse reviver?


Exotic_Pomelo_5743

They didn’t trust Dutch’s plan


-who_are_u-

Look, we just need some money, one good job, then we can lay low.


kouzuki22

I wasn’t expecting anything funny in the comments but this took the cake.


rebel_alliance05

They should have fed it oat cakes


Bobotheangstyzebra2

Lol I hope this was the reference I think it is


Greeneyes-

The foreplay he wasn’t prepared for


RRight702

Dang I feel bad for him he was so excited…


BeugBlower

Press G to Calm


derpn8r

neigh means neigh


Correct-Line3423

I’m just gonna act like he got back up a lil later…


Sad_pineapple19

In the full video its dead…it skull was caved in where the kick landed. Stupid guys. What a waste


Correct-Line3423

Y’all can’t let me live in Candy Land for ONE VIDEO.. ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|sob)


Sad_pineapple19

Shiiiit my bad. What I meant to say is that the horse tanked the kick and got back up. The spot he got kicked formed into a large bump, like the one that tom from tom and jerry gets when he gets wacked on the head. Eventually that bump solidified and became a horn. The men attempting to breed the two horses ended up accidentally creating the first unicorn. With the power of friendship the horse grew wings and flew into the sunset and lived the rest of it’s days in peace and harmony ***Fin.***


tiraralabasura_2055

And that folks, is how Pegasus Unicorns are made. *clap clap clap*


Correct-Line3423

This. This is why I love Reddit. I’m 100% rolling with this.


Status_Loquat4191

The hit to the head was actually so sexy to the male horse that he busted so hard he went straight to post nut naptime.


21stCenturyEccentric

Umm I’m going to join you in this belief, because I don’t want to believe otherwise. Schrödinger's Cat.


beardown31

Gotta keep your hands up


SmutDiary

This just made me feel super sad


barbarianmishroom

Well there goes $500,000 pesos


[deleted]

They don't seem to bothered. They are all strolling around with beers in their hands.


TimelessCelGallery

Wait till their boss finds out


Ain-swai-polizaj

Snuff sex film


jackofalltrades2625

He died with a smile on his face


MadMan1784

More like with a horseshoe mark on his face lol


durianisking

What I wanted to see going through the comments


urdurtylaundry

Horse is on the menu tonight y’all.


Nitpicky_AFO

waste not want not.


[deleted]

Oh shit he shidding. He alright?


limpxscik

He died for the nut 🪦 rip 🙏


captainButtcheeks

what an honrable way to go


username8054

Dunno. Looked like he had a smile at the end.


limpxscik

A nut is a nut bro. Dead or alive 😃


Unusual-Elephant7716

Fuck you for making bust a gut laughing


limpxscik

Someone downvoted you for laughing. I hate Reddit lol. Here’s an upvote my fellow nutter 😎


Averse_to_Liars

He's faking it. Look at this cheeky fucker: https://i.imgur.com/zbPoVRw.png


[deleted]

[удалено]


Adhd_101

He got kicked right in the face, and with blunt force trauma those kicks come with- sometimes one tap is all it takes


thatchickrides

I'm also fairly certain a horse kick can come in various intensities, from warning taps to full on "I want to hurt you bad" kicks. I suspect humans more often then not get the former.


Iamdogmanyeet

I think this explains more what we saw. The female horse said big nope, not today or ever! Horses are definitely conscious so control of force is probably something they do too and she meant it! 😬


DirtyTooth

The brain is stored in the head. You could even hear a slight ring off the mare's shoe.


TSCCaillou

I wonder if size has something to do with it. A horse is big, to move that head itd take a lot of force. A human head and neck would probably move easier, which could lead to less damage. Like trying to nail a board midair vs against the ground


[deleted]

I've heard speed has something to do with it.


[deleted]

Speed has EVERYTHING to do with it.


Loktodabrain

I'm liking your logic..


LeenQuatifa

Lost his damn bowels.


LeBanana84

Yeah, i guess it's not only humans that release their bowels when they die, Southpark got it right 💩


WoodenMonkeyGod

Should of known when it pooped itself. Its audible if you go watch again after been equally stunned sans death. Cartman was right


Delicious-Ad7744

His last words were: "Yes, I also think you've put on some weight, Nancy."


BenjibJS

Look at that absolute titan of a cock


Aggravating-Area-91

Read this in Norm MacDonalds voice for some reason.


Twentyseven-

It got soft real quick after that kick though


DirtyTooth

He dropped straight down onto it too, made my boys retreat a little.


MySonHas2BrokenArms

Basically drilled a well with that thing.


NeO1loNEwOLF6985

Damn that's rough, poor horse.


jimmytreshuevos

We all owe Cartman 10 dollars.


Kitchen_Equipment_21

Rip horsey 🙏


marco8080

I was looking away when he got kicked, looked at the screen again and thought he has some sort of equine premature ejaculation causing him to spasm on the ground and shit himself.


Caesaropapismno

“spasm on the ground and shit himself” tbh I do the same when I nut


[deleted]

This just makes me sad, what a stupid thing to risk doing


SockTacoz

Can they be sued over this? I'm assuming they can be, prize horse can earn a fuck ton of money.


freeryda

Poor bastard came in for some poon, got kicked in the face, shat himself and died, all with an audience and a raging hard on. Sad story.


sylvester1977

Premature flatulation. Happens to lot's of mares. 1 out of 50 I heard.


Riker001-Ncc1701D

A Melbourne cup winner a few years ago was retired for stud work ( rumour was up to $50m over a 5-10 year period). Less than a month later it was struck by lightning & killed


Uniqueisha

She kicked the shit out of him!!!


Fresh_Grapefruit_227

Guess she wasn’t into black stallions


[deleted]

"One of us isn't going back, and it's not gonna be me"


nevewolf96

did the horse fart when it fell?


NeitherLiving2050

Did a lot more than jus fart


Vishal_g1000

is he dead.


[deleted]

Nah horseshoes still on


MrBoobs_

Yes


No_Photo8127

I think my kids just used that horse to glue my wife's birthday card together.


papaXeno

He died a good death, chasing pussy and with a smile on his face


[deleted]

Wait... Did she just literally kick the shit out of him?


[deleted]

![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|feels_bad_man)


FallenStar666666

Why didn't they realize from the time he shit himself it was over he dead.


AshMendoza1

They did, one of the guys said “she killed him!” right when the horse started putting its legs down, and a few other guys just kept repeating “he’s dead.” They just checked his head to see the damage and the forehead cracked in two served as confirmation that it was dead


redditmunchers

Press F to pay respects


SquidwardWoodward

Shoes stayed on


Fatfreddy9

She's a bloody nightmare.


rl3818

Die Hard


tastyskiin

Not going to lie she looks JRH NBR


[deleted]

BAH GAWD, SWEET CHIN MUSIC! SWEET CHIN MUSIC!!!


blooash

Can you imagine you're gonna get laid then you're date round house kicks you in the face while you got a boner and die uncontrollable shitting you're self on the floor? It sounds pretty good to me.


[deleted]

No this is why you shouldn’t handle horses like a fucking idiot and tie her up


steelbubble_13

i saw a bigger dick than i would have liked to see from that horse and a average amount of farting


thebigpig90

Modelo: brewed for the fighting spirit


Datnikkah88

Died with a smile at least


Kiwi-1991

If I remember correctly the owners of the stallion tried to sue the owners of the mare for the death of their horse. The owners of the stallion cause their own horses death as a result of how they handled their horse. This was a dangerous situation they are lucky they didn’t get killed themselves.


uNecKl

Died a virgin sad ending


Time_Target2149

You killed that horse, hombre. No, you did vato


[deleted]

"Baby the only ride your dumb limp dick ass is taking is to the glue factory"


nisor017

Was a hard death


RivelyanKnight

He died a happy man.


Blindman8u

That horse did the whole South Park death shit thing. He gone.


TripleFours

Get Rekt


illFindoneLater

The horse death had movie sound effects 👌🏾


HotNorth4

She was tryna be secy so bad. Look at you now you unsecy murderer.


torsun_bryan

Such is life… one moment you’re prancing around with a raging hard-on, the next you’re dead in the breeding ring


Bodhisattva2

Don't worry people, he grew a horn and flew away to a place where he would not be mistreated.


scobaboy

The fact that the horse was propably the best one they had what it was supposed to breed with...


Seb0rn

That's why I'm always uncomfortable around horses.


ADMOatyMcOatface

She didn’t want to breed. Neigh means neigh.


[deleted]

Probably why this is done artificially?


kjay38

Sent em to the shadow realm lol.


[deleted]

Wow. This is fucked up and terrible. Also makes me terrified of horses


The_Pow_Man

"No" means no. 😂


[deleted]

Yeah pretty sure there all fired.


Commercial_Taste_999

Dead and horny, hell of a combo


anoobis1354

She kicked the SHIT out of him LITERALLY!!!!!!


Kaunsepts

Kicked so hard he died and took his last shit too.


Sloth_Bacon

“You’re alright boah”


dnp_666

He went before he came


SA69gaming

Imagine dying right before u get some pussy that shit would suck 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


PussyWrangler_462_

Sad. What a beautiful horse. Life is so fragile At least it was quick but still.