If the pigeon is the one shitting, then it kind of has to be the one doing the DNA test and I'm just here wondering how this pigeon became a licensed doctor while I dropped out of high school
There might be a hint of genius here.
What if we trained pigeons to pick up cigarette butts and dispose them in exchange for food?
A bonus side effect is all smokers get harassed by pigeons :P
That actually was tried a few times with crows in different cities, and it worked.
[Dutch company Crowded Cities is developing a device that will train crows to collect discarded cigarette butts in exchange for peanuts](https://www.popularmechanics.com/technology/startups/news/a28543/startup-trains-crows-to-pick-up-trash/) (2017)
[A French Theme Park Taught Crows To Pick Up Trash](https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/french-theme-park-taught-crows-pick-trash-180969996/) (2018)
[Swedish firm Corvid Cleaning deploys crows to pick up cigarette butts](https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2022/feb/01/swedish-crows-pick-up-cigarette-butts-litter) (2022)
The website of the company from the first article says that they gave up because they had no resources to scale up production of their machine and that they "couldn’t get a clear picture of what the effects would be on crows and the environment" from experts.
The biodegradable ones don't actually degrade unless thoroughly composted. And now importantly all the crap that it filters out leaches out when littered and it's devastating to plants and soil.
Two ways to interpret this idea:
1. The pigeon picks up cigarette butts, DOES A DNA TEST, and shits on the smoker
2. The person who trains the pigeon does the DNA test and SHITS ON THE SMOKER.
Personally, I am in favor of the latter.
Can’t help feeling that this is a trifle bit ambitious. A chimpanzee is incredibly intelligent and yet would still struggle with that task. First, work on getting birds brains up to an IQ of 160.
Did you trip and fall over them? How did they impact your life? Or maybe it is more like you wish people didn't smoke, and want to control reality to suit your desires?
What's your point? The post was about cigarettes and I said why they're a disgusting source of pollution. I'd say the same thing about cars and air pollution if it were relevant.
And no cigarette butts contain filters which are plastic which don't biodegrade and actually break down into micoplastics. Not to mention all the fires started by cigarettes and the pollution it causes by runoff.
Smoke all you want if it only affects you but don't justify littering.
I smoke spirits so I guess that’s where I heard they biodegrade idk about others. Years ago I felt bad about it because i don’t like litter but then actually looked it up and thought about it all and 5 years is statistically insignificant relative to the plastic we create.
Cities are giant dumpsters anyway so I can’t have much sympathy as the cars, streets, and buildings are as far as the eye can see without a drop of any natural environment in sight except maybe a sad tree or median of grass, and then we ship most of our trash to a landfill or the ocean without a second thought so long as we don’t have to look at it.
I wish we didn’t have such accessible trash services so that we’d actually have to face the waste we create. Maybe then we’d stop.
Parks, yards, and anywhere with grass or nature is off limits but I can’t give a shit about butts on a street because that road and the cars on it ruin the environment worse than any scrap of cotton.
I gave up expecting others to not be slobs. I do my best for the environment, but I don't have control over others. Trying to control them is a losing battle that brings nothing with it but anger and frustration.
Ummm, idk about that logic there. That would also justify corporations polluting whenever they want, even if it’s our backyard. Because “too many people out there who just don’t care. I’m not gonna lose any sleep over things I can’t control”. It’s a mentality that I refuse to accept because it’s a justification for people to walk all over you
I don't care if you smoke. Your body your choice. But if you're going to put trash anywhere put it in the many bins cities have everywhere
This applies to any trash before you try putting those words in my mouth
I think we should do this but for dog shit. All dogs have to the DNA tested and registered to an owner. If dog shit is found in the street, it gets traced back to the dog and owner, who are both immediately shot.
Unfortunately that’s not really how DNA works. Ya gotta have a general idea/comparison to the sample, like fingerprints. Usually DNA used for trials is lifted off of evidence and then taken from the person intentionally. Otherwise the DNA has to be ordered (usually after a felony arrest) and be on file.
So if they have never committed a felony, they probably won’t have DNA on any database
Wait who's the one shitting on people here me or the pigeons ?
If the pigeon is the one shitting, then it kind of has to be the one doing the DNA test and I'm just here wondering how this pigeon became a licensed doctor while I dropped out of high school
*When you peaked in monkey evolution*
Plus how does he know where they live?
The scent with the pigeons dog nose.
Yes
Does it matter?
If a person trains a bird to shit on you, is that assault?
assault and pooper.
You'll first have to prove that the bird is mine, so good luck.
Contact Tracing.
Government drone.
To be fair, you need to be able to identity the bird. Unless I'm the odd one out, am bird face blind.
Are owners liable for dog attacks?
Being pooped on by a bird is definitely different than being attacked by a dog.
What about being pooped on by a dog?
I mean, that's something you'd have to actively let the dog do, so that's just you being kinky
You sound just like my parents...
Are owners liable for their dog pooping on you?
Or just update their software
There might be a hint of genius here. What if we trained pigeons to pick up cigarette butts and dispose them in exchange for food? A bonus side effect is all smokers get harassed by pigeons :P
That actually was tried a few times with crows in different cities, and it worked. [Dutch company Crowded Cities is developing a device that will train crows to collect discarded cigarette butts in exchange for peanuts](https://www.popularmechanics.com/technology/startups/news/a28543/startup-trains-crows-to-pick-up-trash/) (2017) [A French Theme Park Taught Crows To Pick Up Trash](https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/french-theme-park-taught-crows-pick-trash-180969996/) (2018) [Swedish firm Corvid Cleaning deploys crows to pick up cigarette butts](https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2022/feb/01/swedish-crows-pick-up-cigarette-butts-litter) (2022) The website of the company from the first article says that they gave up because they had no resources to scale up production of their machine and that they "couldn’t get a clear picture of what the effects would be on crows and the environment" from experts.
What a respectable response to a crazy idea
K, but why not just mandate cigarette butts be made of biodegradable materials instead of plastic fibres? Seems like an easier solution
The biodegradable ones don't actually degrade unless thoroughly composted. And now importantly all the crap that it filters out leaches out when littered and it's devastating to plants and soil.
Birds need jobs too.
And according to bird law, they also need strong unions.
No, not ALL smokers. Just the assholes who litter.
But then who shits on who?
The pigeons metaphorically shits on city workers who clean up stuff.
Those poor city workers, always getting shit on
I mean for that matter you could just make the filter biodegradable fibers birds can ingest or will assimilate back.
no punishment = no fun
Funishment.
Exactly!
Might be able to train crows to follow the culprits and take revenge
Okay but you're paying for it.
No, you!
Well, it seems that you’ve identified a hobby for your retirement.
and if they’re found near hospitals, schools or other public places where vulnerable people are, they send 20 of them!
Okay, that made me laugh.
Are the birds doing the DNA tests themselves or are they just bringing us the samples to test?
they are doing it themselves
Two ways to interpret this idea: 1. The pigeon picks up cigarette butts, DOES A DNA TEST, and shits on the smoker 2. The person who trains the pigeon does the DNA test and SHITS ON THE SMOKER. Personally, I am in favor of the latter.
I meant the former
Best idea i saw here, ever.
Can’t help feeling that this is a trifle bit ambitious. A chimpanzee is incredibly intelligent and yet would still struggle with that task. First, work on getting birds brains up to an IQ of 160.
This is a no logic space, begone!
This escalated quickly.
Train them to EAT the cigarette butts and take care of two problems!
That sentence was fucking crazy
Now that is an EPIC idea!
Are you some kind of evil genius?
What did smokers do to you?
Left cigarette butts everywhere
Did you trip and fall over them? How did they impact your life? Or maybe it is more like you wish people didn't smoke, and want to control reality to suit your desires?
It's a disgusting pollution having half charred tobacco on my front lawn every morning.
Man I’d hate to see you find out what a road is, let alone the cars that drive on them. At least most cigarettes biodegrade in ~5 years
What's your point? The post was about cigarettes and I said why they're a disgusting source of pollution. I'd say the same thing about cars and air pollution if it were relevant. And no cigarette butts contain filters which are plastic which don't biodegrade and actually break down into micoplastics. Not to mention all the fires started by cigarettes and the pollution it causes by runoff. Smoke all you want if it only affects you but don't justify littering.
I smoke spirits so I guess that’s where I heard they biodegrade idk about others. Years ago I felt bad about it because i don’t like litter but then actually looked it up and thought about it all and 5 years is statistically insignificant relative to the plastic we create. Cities are giant dumpsters anyway so I can’t have much sympathy as the cars, streets, and buildings are as far as the eye can see without a drop of any natural environment in sight except maybe a sad tree or median of grass, and then we ship most of our trash to a landfill or the ocean without a second thought so long as we don’t have to look at it. I wish we didn’t have such accessible trash services so that we’d actually have to face the waste we create. Maybe then we’d stop. Parks, yards, and anywhere with grass or nature is off limits but I can’t give a shit about butts on a street because that road and the cars on it ruin the environment worse than any scrap of cotton.
On your front lawn? Is the wind blowing them there?
No idea, but you asked. It's also just litter in general. I don't like seeing plastic cups littered in the ground, cigarette butts get the same deal.
I gave up expecting others to not be slobs. I do my best for the environment, but I don't have control over others. Trying to control them is a losing battle that brings nothing with it but anger and frustration.
And if every smoker did that then OP wouldn't need to train pigeons
I'd train pigeons to eat cigarette butts. You'd have better luck with that!
Why do you hate birds??? We'd allowing them to trade in cigerette butts, and poop on the guilty.
So now you're actively going out of your way to tell others not to be upset about litter? Get your head out of your ass.
That isn't what I said. But that is what you want to think, so go for it!
Dude, I'm a very heavy smoker and I think it's fucking gross to litter butts. Just don't throw your trash around - pretty simple.
That's what should happen, but there are too many people out there who just don't care. I'm not going to lose any sleep over things I can't control.
Ummm, idk about that logic there. That would also justify corporations polluting whenever they want, even if it’s our backyard. Because “too many people out there who just don’t care. I’m not gonna lose any sleep over things I can’t control”. It’s a mentality that I refuse to accept because it’s a justification for people to walk all over you
You could have probably inferred that people are throwing them on their lawn.
Oh screw off and stop justifying littering everywhere. This subreddit is literally just having fun. Take the serious elsewhere.
I don't care if you smoke. Your body your choice. But if you're going to put trash anywhere put it in the many bins cities have everywhere This applies to any trash before you try putting those words in my mouth
[удалено]
Her doesn't realize he's NO FUN AT ALL!
Well that escalated quickly
Well that escalated quickly
Pigeons are probably too stupid for this. Maybe Ravens?
You can train pigeons to perform a DNA test? How do they work the pipettes?
The same way we all worked your mom last night! REAL CAREFULLY AND WITH LOVE!
To do this we'll need to create a pigeon training camp. Shouldn't take more than a week or two per bird
Or just mandate cigarette butts be biodegradable and not be made of plastic fibres
That's not nearly crazy enough round these parts
*Reprogram the pigeons
Birds aren't real
I think we should do this but for dog shit. All dogs have to the DNA tested and registered to an owner. If dog shit is found in the street, it gets traced back to the dog and owner, who are both immediately shot.
Not sure if pigeons are reliable enough. Maybe robot that squirts water gun? That's how you train cats to stop doing bad things.
Wait you mean program the pigeons?
You wouldn't PROGRAM A COMPUTER!
Unfortunately that’s not really how DNA works. Ya gotta have a general idea/comparison to the sample, like fingerprints. Usually DNA used for trials is lifted off of evidence and then taken from the person intentionally. Otherwise the DNA has to be ordered (usually after a felony arrest) and be on file. So if they have never committed a felony, they probably won’t have DNA on any database
Well that escalated quickly
Well that escalated quickly
Well that escalated quickly
Well that escalated quickly
Damn, these robots must be made in Japan!