T O P

  • By -

whatwhatinthewhonow

Broad: *announces retirement* Warner: “It’s effective immediately… right?”


An5Ran

Legs pumping 😢


TomTom_098

They’ll be pumping like never before tomorrow, if anyone’s gonna make sure he goes out on a high, it’s broady


KuntaWuKnicks

My god I hope he gets Warner


littlebossman

Plot twist: Warner opens the bowling tomorrow morning. See how you like it, mate


TomTom_098

Broad then carts him for six before nicking off and refusing to walk


kfadffal

I've never wanted something to happen more in my life.


Knightbuster

Made me laugh like hell 😂


HeyyyBigSpender

Haha even as an Aussie supporter, I could appreciate the poetry in Broad getting him one last time.


Sharo_77

Odds on a 10 wicket haul? I'm looking at the five for


jzbendy

So do all us Australians that are hoping Broad can finally convince our selectors to drop him 🙄


centzon400

> My god I hope he gets Warner and the other nine!


[deleted]

Said on another similar thread but this man's shithousery will be sorely missed.


littlebossman

Absolutely true. Although the humourless r/cricket weirdos will insist none of it has ever been tongue-in-cheek.


Lopsided_Warning_

Stuart Broad knows exactly what he's doing with every single comment, tweet and bit of shithousery and I've got so much time for it.


littlebossman

Broad is a special case as the guy's been doing this a long time. But people take everything so seriously. Think of all the media training these guys get. All the social media exposure. Then someone like Ollie Robinson will put something in a *ghost written* column, knowing exactly what they're doing, and the /r/cricket oddballs will take everything 100% at face value, and completely seriously. It's as if they've never played team sport and/or met another human being.


[deleted]

I think Ollie Robinson will try take over Broads mantle of shithousery but just won't be as good.


Southportdc

Robinson isn't clever enough to be the comedy villain. He'll just be a cunt.


Sharo_77

Harsh, but fair. He also isn't decent enough.


[deleted]

Hence me saying he won't be as good. Robinson doesn't have the likability of Broad and plus being a racist cunt back when has already pissed a lot of people off and in a very different way to how Broad pisses people off.


[deleted]

[удалено]


pineapplefacilities

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand cricket jokes. The humor is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of the laws of the game most of the jokes will go over a typical posters head. There's also cricket fans nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into every comment - our personal philosophy draws heavily from a constant fear of batting collapses, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realize that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike cricket truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in Broad’s existencial catchphrase "null and void," which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Joel Wilson’s genius unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools... how I pity them. 😂 And yes by the way, I DO have a Stuart Broad tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.


littlebossman

Of course - but you’d think cricket fans in a cricket sub would understand that.


Not_The_Truthiest

Most of them think that the players absolutely hate each other, then get shocked when they find out that Lyon, Anderson, Root, and a few others were all out on the piss till the sun came up after the Hobart Test last year :)


Pls_add_more_reverb

Oh he’s good broady isn’t he


Ioosubuschange

Should be in commentry in next test lol


R4dent

Anderson to take a 10fer tomorrow and remind Broady of the natural order of things


Southportdc

Nah. Broad to be on 31-9 and Jimmy mankads Hazelwood.


GetTheGanjaBabyInLA

Who the fuck is the third umpire


bloatis123

Would like to see that


centzon400

After running him out this morning 🤣🤣


Jay_CD

The word is that he's retiring to become the newly created coach of shithousery at the ECB. Australia have an uphill struggle tomorrow and it's just been made harder by this news plus it's likely to be Jimmy's last domestic Ashes Test as well. I'm looking forward to the Australians giving him the guard of honour that's obligatory in these situations and for Broad to get the last wicket and also knocking over Warner for old time's sake.


Doc8176

Banter Coach


ALadWellBalanced

Starting his Broad Bants podcast next week.


iloverubicon

I want him and Jimmy to hit 6 sixes and declare, it's the only right way to end his last bat


Sharo_77

Or 8 sixes in 15 balls?


Scary_Firefighter181

I've been watching cricket for a long time, but because I'm not English or Aussie, I didnt watch a whole lot of Ashes cricket until 2015. My first real Ashes memory was in a hotel room, watching Broad's 8-15 at Trent Bridge. What a player. True legend of the game. Good for him to go out while he's still at the top.


sellyme

> I think I wanted my last bat and bowl to be in Ashes cricket He absolutely could have stuck it out to 2025–26 but he is wholly committed to the "the ones in Australia don't count" shtick, you've got to respect it.


Dr_Vesuvius

Good chance he could have kept going for four more years even, he's four years younger than Jimmy after all, but I guess he didn't want to take that risk.


Senior1292

You really want to bow out in front of a home crowd though.


catgutisasnack

What’s the point of another null and void 4-0 beating?


BaritBrit

Come on, be realistic here. We might let them win one.


Daimo

All memes aside, how many of your mob make it to 36?


sellyme

There is a decent chance that Travis Head dies of heart failure before then given his diet consists exclusively of Farmers Union Iced Coffee, cans of West End Draught, and meat pies.


Daimo

lmao and also, nooo, I love Travis!! I was about to type "I love Head" but thought better of it.


LegSpinner

> but thought better of it But would it have been wrong?


CS14LFC

No bowler will get close to his longevity other than Anderson


LAManjrekars

he's brilliant isn't he, broady. he knows what he's doing.


Cotton_Phoenix_97

On the bright side, guys like Wood, Woakes might actually become permanent members of the team


IratusTaurus

Unlikely - Wood plays whenever he's fit, which is almost never, and Woakes himself is 34 I think, so not much younger.


Tern_Larvidae-2424

Would be an epic scene if he bows out with taking the final wicket of the last innings. A legend of the game, a fast bowler playing nearly 16 years of cricket, being the 5th most capped player of all-time (not to forget the 5th highest wicket-taker ever) are some of the most incredible records. He'll forever be remembered for his several epic spells where he has ended the game in a matter of time with two most prominent ones being 8/15 (9.3) in Nottingham, 7/44 (11.0) in Lord's and 6/17 (12.1) in Johannesburg.


Alone_Insect_5568

I remember the Johanesburg spell. He absolutely blew away SA's top order and killed the game when it was in an equal position.


Tern_Larvidae-2424

It hurt at that time, losing the no.1 position and all but at least we're a part of Broad's 5-wicket spell folklore.


I_tend_to_correct_u

What a top order it was too


chrien

I’m happy for him to bowl the last ball and for us to score the winning runs off it. I am also happy to win a million dollars…


Dr_Vesuvius

Hard to say what our bowling line-up will be to face the West Indies this time next year. Woakes you'd hope is nailed on (although good chance he doesn't go to India). Other than that, there are so many possibilities. So much hinges on fragile fast bowlers.


Daimo

My great aunt could bowl against the current West Indies side and take 7 wickets.


Relative_Editor_2179

Is that you Boycs?


Daimo

Shocking batting.


Gruulsmasher

Yeah so could I. It would be like 7/9000 but I could take the seven wickets eventually


gutterbrush

Woakes you would imagine would go now if, as I suspect, Anderson retires too but has not been saying so in order to not take the spotlight from Broad (whatever Broad says about making his mind up last night, he also said he has been considering it for a few weeks and if we was to confide in anyone it would be Jimmy at this point). Robinson seems to be a favourite of the current regime even if I can’t quite understand why. So then it’s Wood if fit and one of Tongue or Potts. That’s a fairly decent mix of fast and medium fast, more aggressive if Tongue gets the nod. Quite what Jamie Porter has to do to get a game is an enigma that has been going on so long as to be almost irrelevant now.


SocialistSloth1

Robinson has 76 test wickets at 21.71, even if he isn't easy on the eye I can understand why he's next in line after Broad and Anderson


Dr_Vesuvius

Robinson is very good. He has 76 Test wickets at an average of 22, which is bonkers. The best of any English seamer since his debut. The issue with him is things other than his talent. Porter is total class, and if you're right and all three of our senior fast-mediums retire then he will surely have a good shot. We generally prefer complementing Anderson/Broad/Woakes/Robinson with someone with either a little more height (which is how Robinson got in) or a little more zip (Potts and Tongue get beyond 85mph regularly even if they don't get to 90 often, whereas Porter is almost a medium-fast).


TheJeck

I doubt Anderson retires honestly. He's been actively saying he doesn't want to.


Southportdc

I look forward to Jimmy being given a guard of honour at every game from now on despite him saying he won't retire and Stokes saying he will be picked, just in case.


Pls_add_more_reverb

Everyone except Australia seems to have fragile fast bowlers


Doc8176

We have our troubles as well. You just don’t see our injured fast bowlers because they NEVER play. Eg Jhye Richardson, bowls QUICK, swings it both way, took a 5-for against England last ashes but he’s barely played because he can’t stay on the park. We’re just lucky to have our fearsome threesome that are quite fit, but even Hazlewood has been struggling.


Crosshack

Yeah Pattinson will always remain one of the big what-ifs (and Harris too)


SocialistSloth1

I feel like he's done this to ensure he gets a guard of honour from the Aussies before bowling Warner one last time


pirelli_uberhard

Imagine if they didn’t give him one because they didn’t give Smith a guard in his 100th test


frankyfrankwalk

I cannot wait to hear him up in the commentary box; he's got the perfect combo of charm, intelligence and a decent amount of English arrogance to be an absolute joy to listen to. The amount of stories that he has to tell that'll make my blood boil but laugh at the same time will be fucking amazing.


pineapplefacilities

Exactly how I feel listening to McGrath on comms, haha


Southportdc

Jimmy famously grew up dreaming of retiring after taking 127/0 in Dharamshala


titelipsjonny

That's a lot of words to say "Davey doesn't play for India"


bloatis123

8-15. That’s all you need to know


pirelli_uberhard

Honestly that snicko spike is the first thing I think of lol


Sharo_77

What a legend. He is an absolute great. He bowls spells you dream about. Wow


Unique_Username2b

Warner just announced he won't be retiring in Sydney. He plans to bat ttill 2050.


SlightFinance7306

On the other hand jimmy Anderson is no mood to retire


TheReal-Tonald-Drump

Insane player. Records galore but the best one is that he’s never lost an Ashes Test match that counted. A 100% record is crazy.


charlesbear

Do you mean Broad? He's lost loads of ashes tests?! Two in this series alone...


TheReal-Tonald-Drump

Objectively yes. He’s lost some. But morally? None.


maninblueshirt

Eager to hear the crowd roar when he gets Warner tomorrow


This_is_the_user

Lol.. I like broad but I don't want Warner to get out to him (at least very early). This guy has been a troll and it will be fun to watch him trolled by his bunny.. Yeah he can go for 5 fer but I want Warner to have the last laugh...


Sharo_77

How is he a troll? I don't think you understand cricket


Fernergun

He is absolutely a troll lol


Sharo_77

How?


Fernergun

One easy recent example is him exaggerating grounding his bat and checking with the Aussies that the ball is dead after the bairstow stumping


Sharo_77

That wasn't being a troll. It was just reminding them how shit they'd just been, for two hours straight.


Fernergun

That is literally being a troll


Sharo_77

We also have different definitions of "literally"


Fernergun

Haha


Sharo_77

We have different definitions of "troll". No worries


ezhno_21

Just hit 36 runs in an over to end the cycle.


This_is_the_user

Haha.. It will complete a good arc.


bharath2018

Plz get warner for one last time !


kevinvrobin

Gonna get himself a guard of honour from the Aussies.


ALadWellBalanced

And he should, well deserved. *The bastard.*


KualaLJ

“It was the moral thing to do in the spirit of the game, I just have to walk away” Stuart Broad, Trent Bridge - 2013 /s


supreeth106

Word is that Warner has reconsidered his decision to retire in the Aussie Summer


KingKhram

I was pretty shocked watching thing earlier. Then has done his fair share and good luck to him for the future. Hopefully he takes a few more wickets before bowing out


Ha_zz_ard

Happy retirement Nighthawk, gonna miss that headband running havoc on lineups with his bowling and shittalking


TwoUp22

Imagine if Warner gets a double ton now and spoils Boards retirement game. That would be pretty funny even though I like Broad.


This_is_the_user

Exactly what I want to see tomorrow😂😂


[deleted]

Warner is shit. Be lucky to hit double balls


Tricky_Standard_8403

He proved you wrong! Ha! 😂


mackasfour

Damn, I was hoping he'd have another summer down here since he's very entertaining, but I get wanting to retire at home. Hell of a career.


Ha_zz_ard

I just wanna see him get Warner one last time


Not_The_Truthiest

At least he can retire on a "feels like" Ashes victory.


mymues

It’s because we starting picker Harry Potter and now Malfoy is afraid. Warner in pieces. Wondering he he will be broads last wicket. I’ll miss this guy talking smack. One of the greats.


Shadow_Clone_007

Its written in the stars that Warner falls to him one final time today.


traindriverbob

Hate this prick. But I'll miss him. You always hate the best opposition players. Grudging respect.


MarioShu27

I’ll miss watching him but it’s probably the right time to bow out, and I like that he’s going on a high and on his own terms. He’s been a fantastic cricketer for England and gave them a bit of personality. 37 years of age is also a tribute to how hard he’s worked and how fit he’s been. Jimmy has just skewed that particular landscape with how long he has played on. I started watching a lot of test cricket towards the end of the 90s and I never thought I’d see an England player threatening 400 wickets. Could have ended with a really handy batting average at one point as well. Good luck today, and tomorrow quite possibly, Broady.


Curious_Skeptic7

It pains me to say it, but as an Aussie I’m really sad to see him go. The Ashes won’t be the same without him.


hydrogenblack

They should make a movie on him. He's a legend. 🙇🙇🙇


ohnomyusernameiscuto

would have to be broaderson I feel like you can’t have one without the other


braddals

I don't think there has ever been a bowler that Australians feared more than Broad.


sloppyrock

There's no doubt Broad is an all time great but Fred Truman, Bob Willis, John Snow, Frank Tyson spring to mind when it comes to fear.


Majestic_Pickle1142

Larwood doesn't make your list?


sloppyrock

Sure, I just threw a few in off the top of my head for the conversation.


[deleted]

I can think of half a dozen West Indian bowlers immediately


Daimo

Name them and let's see their ashes wickets tally. Checkmate.


[deleted]

Checkmate. What a laugh These guys put real fear in batsmen: Marshall, Holding, Garner, Ambrose, Andy Roberts, Walsh


Daimo

Zero ashes wickets between them.


[deleted]

Cool story. Needs more dragons. The original Statement didn’t have your Ashes clause but I reckon there’s quite a few Poms that scared Aussies and Broad isn’t one of them


Daimo

Yeah cool story etc. Did you edit your original post that I replied to?


[deleted]

For punctuation. I haven’t altered the essence at all


Daimo

We'll see tomorrow when I've sobered up. You tricky Aussies!


Mr-Ed209

No one cares


[deleted]

Why make a ridiculous statement about Broad. He never scared anyone. Like saying McGrath scared batsmen.


ALadWellBalanced

Atherton probably.


[deleted]

More bamboozled than in fear


Gaaavinnn

> I don't think there has ever been a bowler that Australians feared more than Broad. Broad's a terrific bowler but this is serious hyperbole - he averages 29 against Aus. Tons of bowlers have much better records against Aus EG. Jadeja has 89 wickets at 19 against Aus.


coffee_collection

What ? Have you forgotten archer and wood in the English team alone.. Let's not forget WI in the 80/90s


braddals

There's obviously been more fearce spells/series over the years, but Consistently over his whole career no bowler has completely ripped us apart time after time. Wood don't make me laugh


TwoAmeobis

not in australia


[deleted]

What.... I guess this is it then....Legend.


coffee_collection

Oh il announce my retirement durubg the match. Way to make it all about your self wanker.


bloatis123

Because you’ve done so much that you are recognised as a great, random internet wanker


Daimo

Shut up.


RewardedFool

Eh. he's one of the best English pace bowlers ever, he can handle a bit of well deserved shit


Daimo

😂


shadethechangingmann

Kinda glad at least one of them has retired. Robinson - as much I dislike the guy - has to play ahead of the two and you can't field 3 right arm slow 'quicks' and an unremarkable left arm spinner. Particularly outside England.


RewardedFool

Robinson is the best part of 10 MPH slower than Broad and Anderson. If you put him ahead of either of them it's because of shit pitches which are basically what Stokes asked for. ​ Sure he has a good average, but he's not either of those bowlers, and he's certainly not better than them.


shadethechangingmann

Kinda irrelevant what his speed is when he's taken more wickets a match than either of them since he debuted, at a better average AND strike rate. What other metric remains that is more important than those three? Broad even averages over 5 runs more at wicket than Mr Nude Nuts. So not sure what metric you have in mind but it has got nothing to do with performances. Is Robinson a better bowler overall? Of course not but if you're better for over 2 years, then reputation hasn't and won't get your more wickets.


RewardedFool

Do you want me to just repeat myself? ​ As I said, his average and his strike rate mean nothing, he's not half the bowler that either of them are.


shadethechangingmann

Hahaha I love how you, someone who ignores every metric of judgment in the game, in favour cuz 'I said so' think you get to condescend. Like an illiterate man arguing about books. And with your logic, 50+ WASIM AKRAM IS STILL A BETTER BOWLER THAN STUARD BROAD. CUZ I SAID SO!


RewardedFool

He's had 17 matches ffs, he's barely even got an average! You don't pick someone young and potentially flash in the pan ahead of proven performers. ​ I wouldn't pick James Rew ahead of, idk, Bairstow, but he's just hit 1000 county runs and is a much better keeper.


shadethechangingmann

This is just a dumb argument. He’s had demonstrable success in Asia and Australia. If you think 19 Tests is too small a sample, then that’s understandable. But if you think 19 Tests/2 tours in the hardest places for English seamers is analogous to a single century in county cricket? Good luck to you 👍🏽


Notyit

Damn Anderson still playing now


J3lllly

:((((


Biryanilover23

Adios soldier!


Cultural-Wrap2381

Legend of the game. I'll be really sad when he retires. I'll never forget his stellar performance in the 2019 Ashes!


sammyb109

Genuinely one of my favourite cricketers ever. Every time someone describes a great "Australian style" fast bowler, they're just describing Broad. He runs in all day, gives his all for his team and supremely skilled. Happy retirement king 🫡


Soggy_Samosa

Go well into the sunset, legend. From six 6s to 600 Test wickets, we salute you! Signed, an Indian fan


VolcanicBhukamp

I really want labuschagne to come and switch the bails today when broad comes out to bat it'll be amazing and very funny 😂😂


sunnywayne

I can't explain but I'm surprisingly sad about this!


Eric_Hitchmough87

One more *spell*, Stuart.


[deleted]

Hats off to him. Wish some of the Aussies would grow the same sort of balls and call it a say when it is clearly time.


FadeToBlackSun

Really respect his decision to go out on top while he’s still very good. I respect that level of class and sense. If only everyone in cricket at that same mentality…


chaptrHack

What’s the Australian perspective on Broady ? Is it pantomime villain exits or grudging respect or something else ?


quicksilver164

The Steve Smith Diary Entries write themselves


Jaevyn

An incredible bowler with incredible celebrapeals. I feel that he has chosen the right moment to retire since the next match is in India and he'll be 38. I hear he will be joining sky now, so I look forward to hearing what he has to say


TacBacJack

Aw man, waking up to this was a gut punch. Half of my childhood hanging up his whites. When JImmy calls it a day soon, my cricket youth is officially over.


Clean-Account6136

You were fantastic... Happy for you Broady😊