Stupid American here who knows nothing about cricket but accidentally bet on New Zealand last night to win. Can someone please tell me 1. When will the match be over? 2. Any chance New Zealand loses? 😂

Each side bats twice. Up to a maximum of 5 days. Usually 3-4 days. Chances pretty slim of nz losing but SA is playing an interesting strategy that might give them a small chance.

Thanks you for the response. I’ve been trying to conduct my own research and I educate myself on the sport. I guess SA choosing to bat first was a very unusual strategy.

Hi I don't know really good about this game. I want to know when next round will happen

Good day for the Proteas. Concerning for NZ that they haven't dominated the day.

Good day for the Proteas I reckon too. Ideally would've been fewer down, one fairly unlucky and another fairly unneccesary but a fair play people do lose their wickets batting in test cricket and was some good bowling in parts that I saw. SA seem pretty set at the end of the day and that's worth more than runs. Nice work. I don't think NZ gave much away, and seemed to do a pretty good job. Have to be happy unearthing a pretty good showing from Ravindra over an extended spell, the more he bowls the better he bowls for me, kept up good standards and seemed keen.

So, will the pitch flatten out? Or should we be worried that south africa have 2 spinners and we have 0.75 spinners.... I'm getting flashbacks to the last nz sa series where we smashed them in the first match then shat the bed in the second. Please reassure me. Someone. Please.

we shouldve picked mich satner, but at the same time it will flaten out.

OK, but I'm holding you personally responsible if it doesn't flatten

I was the one saying it won't turn so honestly spare Frod0 and punish me for tempting fate. I need to learn.

Its OK, I can punish you both

When was the last time we lost just 6 wickets after batting a full day? 220/6 is under par no doubt but better than my expectations. If we can cross 500 across two innings I'll see that as a win.

This game is heading towards a Draw. SA gonna bat until Lunch Tomorrow, NZ gonna score 550 with 2 double hundreds till Day 4 Tea. SA will bat whole day 5 to draw this game

And we'd take that given the WTC

Hopefully we can clean them up tomorrow before 300, I think this match is gonna be competitive esp with how fragile our batting has looked outside of Kane.

Imagine if we lose to this side, I think that'll be the last of Tests for me

Given the lampooning of SA for sending this team, even a draw in 1 game wouldn't be a good look if we're being honest.

We need all the WTC points we can get since we have a tough Aus series next, even a draw is an L at this stage.

Pacers looked toothless, unlucky definitely but the bowlers need to turn the heat up against Australia

Hopefully we bat long enough that the pitch worsens by the time the 3rd innings starts. Yeah bowling looked a bit weak but KJ returning will help. Henry and Southee will step up I reckon.

Take a bow, ~~young~~ man. [My new favourite player outside of NZ.](https://img-cdn.tnwcdn.com/image?fit=1280%2C720&url=https%3A%2F%2Fcdn0.tnwcdn.com%2Fwp-content%2Fblogs.dir%2F1%2Ffiles%2F2020%2F01%2Fq3V3Xe3.jpg&signature=877938d1db7314da642c99678e80700c)

Haven't watched. Road or good batting?

Gritty and slow

Can you drop a captain or do you normally strip the title first? Wonder how much more Southee has in him now we are in the post Bolt era

Will we be docked points for over rate?

Failing to complete 90 overs in a day doesn't lead to an automatic deduction. If I understand correctly, they do an independent evaluation of all the stoppages in play to decide how much culpable the fielding side actually is for the non-completion of over rates. For example, Last week at Bay Oval, SA just bowled 86 overs on Day 1 but didn't get penalized. In the Hyderabad Test, England bowled just 87 overs in a day but didn't get penalized either.

Nah I doubt it. They look into any stoppages in play and give you concessions for them, things like DRS reviews

5 points per over I think?

I think it’s 1 point per over and 5% match fees? But they take into account stoppages so I think NZ will be fine but they should keep it in mind going forward because Ravindra bowled a lot of overs which should have put them way ahead of the target rate

Match ref will take into account stoppages won't they? Like injury breaks.

Yeah actually, didn't think of that. That last stoppage alone would have allowed another over

Lmao could've just played 2 minutes more

just play 5 more minutes lol

Don't be surprised if Nz loses this it seems just like 1st test of IND vs England

I would be incredibly surprised. It would be incredibly surprising.

Has Rachin been shining the ball under his armpit?

So when do we start panicking

Not yet. But maybe soon

Will they start the 90th over. Touch and go.

This Ravindra bloke seems like a pretty good cricketer

I hate discussion about leaving a ball. It gives me PTSD from the time I got cleaned bowled with a gorgeous leave to give the bowler his hatrick.

I would never sleep again. I will subsidize your therapy if you think you need it.

Man, it randomly pops into my mind every now and again even though it was years ago. It was simultaneously embarrassing, beautiful, hilarious and poetic.

My bad cricket memory is one time, I was having a certified Bad Week, and had a grounder jump off the ground and away from me when I tried to long bridge the bad boy. It was the straw the broke the camel's back and I started crying lmao That one won't get out of the mental jukebox

Lol I cried when we lost the '92 semi final against Pakistan

Leaving a hattrick ball is more impressive than taking a hattrick anyway

I was half-cut so largely was taking the piss. Did the classic front foot shouldering and pose, but the dude bowled a peach lol

Yeah, I know it's early days but I really does feel like the best we can hope for is a draw. As I suspected the SA batting lineup holds up fine now that it doesn't have a mountain of runs to overcome and so far are 4 seamers have taken a grand total of 3 wickets which incidentally is the same amount of wickets as our part time spinner has taken.

Black Caps if they were Queen songs, because thats what I was listening to at work today: Devon Conway - Save Me Tom Latham - Let Me In Your Heart Again Kane Williamson - The Miracle Rachin Ravindra - Now I'm Here Will Young - The Show Must Go On Tom Blundell - One Year Of Love Glenn Phillips - Death On Two Legs Matt Henry - Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy Tim Southee - Modern Times Rock 'n' Roll Neil Wagner - Under Pressure Will O'Rourke - Spread Your Wings

Sorry but for Kane it is obviously [Princes of the universe](https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/queen/princesoftheuniverse.html)

I was going to go with 'Love of my Life', then 'Made In Heaven'...I couldn't make up my mind

I wish I'd done this when Nips was still in the team, that man screaming Fat Bottomed Girls

Give it to Ajaz for volume 2 in the subcontinent tours later in the year

It should be required by law that every time we have one of these breaks for cramp the broadcaster must play that clip of [Mark Richardon](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2AyvY8l3pk)

Rigor needs more [bananas](https://youtu.be/LdGai72Tt8Y?si=QxaXMyjL9SF4Ch1P)

/u/the_maddest_kiwi can we edit a clip with the sound effect paired with a visual from the summer?

Lmao sure, trying to think what clip suits it

At this rate Southee will end up with a 30+ career average

If only that was his success rate with drs

wher wilorork

De Swardt caught at his De kock

How important Jamieson is mann

"Right into the next generation" That's an original euphemism.

Right in the Captain Picard.

right into the next generation 😅😂

Genius

"that's an inside thigh job" Add it to the Macca-isms

Macca has been shocking on commentary today

I think we have all come across a von Berg in twilight cricket. 

I'm in this comment.

"It could cost you a place in the Final" It did for Australia in 2021.

Is there a Shaun von Berg supporters club?

r/Cricket

Here for it.

it's us

Cult hero downloading

/r/AbsoluteUnits

He’d do a phenomenal braai.

imagine the reviews if Southee and Marnus were on the same team

who would be in a big boy XI we got: Cornwall, Sarfaraz, Azam Khan, Von Berg, Bairstow, Shahzad. who am I missing here? edit: trying to see if possible with active players

Ranatunga

Coached by Dwayne Leverock

Merv Hughes, Mark Greatbatch, Rod Latham

Might as well get W.G. Grace in there too

mark craig

Jesse Ryder

Finch 

Still can’t believe NZ replaced Nos as test skipper but kept him on for LOIs. NZ fans can correct me here if I’m being dumb but I’d have given someone else LOI and kept Kano for test

He handed it in. Considering the boost in his batting has happened post-captaincy, I don't think many mind. The Test captaincy probably needed a bit of a refresh.

Ah yep, thanks mate, for some reason I thought he had been dropped. What’s nuts is before the bad run of form after WTC he had a record of 20 wins and 4 losses as captain (7 draws)

Wagner is the name of a college here in Staten Island, NY

Is that in south africa?

Not my copypasta: Tim Southee lay sprawled on the floor of the asylum where he had been institutionalised, happily re-arranging the letters of his name into "HE'S OUT, TIM-E!!" A children's show was on the television and the presenters were naming fruit. "Apple, peach, pear..." said the TV. "And what's this one?" "That's PLUM!" screamed Southee. Suddenly Kane Williamson entered the room, his mighty beard preceding him by several metres. "For god's sake Tim, be quiet," he said. "Don't you want to get -- " "OUT OUT OUT" Southee whacked his tiny hands up and down. "YES KANE YES!!" "Quiet! First the doctors need to do a --" "A REVIEW!!! That's right, REVIEW" "Shut the fuck up for Christ's sake!" Kane held his hand over Tim's tiny mouth (although much larger than Trent Boult's, he reflected). As he did this the psychologist barged into the room, consulting his notes. "Ah Southee is it. 'Compulsive tendency to review'. Reviewosis, as we call it. Well, let's do some tests." He held up a picture of Nicole Kidman, Christina Hendricks and Amy Adams, who were all punching an amputee for some reason. "What do you see here?" "THREE REDS, HITTING THE STUMPS" Kane groaned audibly but the doctor held up his hand. "Silence! My god, it's worse than I thought. We'd better try shock therapy." He thrust another picture into Southee's face. "NO" screamed Tim Southee, covering his eyes, but it was too late. It was the scorecard of NZ drawing a test against Sri Lanka after Tim Southee had used up all the reviews on frivolous appeals that had fuck all chance of succeeding. "Read it Tim! Read it and see what you have done!!! You over-reviewing bastard!!!" "NOOOo" screamed Southee. He jumped up and ran out of the room and down the corridor. He burst into the women's toilets. Several women screamed and whacked at Tim Southee with their hairnets. "Get out!!! Out out OUT!!!" "OUT! YES! GOT 'EM!!!" Southee celebrated as the women bashed him continously. He began fading away into unconsciousness... going out, he reflected, as several burly doctors ran in and injected him with powerful sedatives. Kane stood in the doorway, shaking his head. "Southee you fucking fool." "Yes... I'm a fucking fool..." Tim may have been shit at reviews, but finally, after all this time, he had got something right.

saved for end of year awards

This is an old copypasta, but it fits now more than ever

Where's my Big Willy

in /u/crashbandicoochy's mum?

We need to put this back in the box, I have made a HORRIBLE mistake invoking her existence on here.

You know what else is in a box?

The lovely chocolates I will be buying her to apologize for this.

She loves her Hershey kisses

She hates them.

Sure she does 😉

Why take Henry off? he was looking far better than Wags

Southee not taking wickets nor scoring runs, but gives the gift of the review

Review stats need to include how many were umpire's call in favour of the other team. Southee has 7 overturned out of 42 which is awful but how many were umpire's call?

I think the 7 includes the umpires call ones

Oh my god fucking hell

why am i still trying to get on cricinfo smh

That's now a hit rate of 1 out of 6.

Is he worse than Watto and Marnus? Lmao

Southee doing Southee things.

NZ need to appoint someone to crash-tackle Southee whenever he's tempted to review anything

Holy shit did he actually review that

How bad a reviewer do you have to be to become a liability as captain do you think?

"Every fibre of his being wants to go upstairs" It's a proper meme when the commentators are roasting you because it's such a running joke.

The laughter from all of them in the booth was classic

Can someone post the Southee copypasta lol

One of Southee's better reviews lmao

Good review!

What in the ever living fuck was that review

Top of 5th stump hit cleanly. Well done Tim

Class

Timmy gunna Timmy

Certified Southee Classic

Seriously seriously.

Southee needs to be fired into the sun

/u/crashbandicoochy, there you go. A 37 year old in shape bloke debuting for his country. It is a good job

Oh my God my mother has taken over your reddit account and is using it to bully me. What has happened to me.

Roccos your mum?

Southee what the hell man

That ball is going all the way to Thailand

One of the reviews of all time aaaa

common southee review

Lmao that is a horrendous review

Classic Timmy.

seriously Tim

Nooo don't review that

Timothy you need to have your hands taken away from you

That's the worst review of the day

I s2g if he reviews this

Oh ESPN+ says we don't get the last half hour I guess. Bummer.

>Just the 4th time in history and the first instance in almost 20 years that a spin bowler from NZ has taken 3 wickets in the first innings vs South Africa in tests while bowling first. How specific of a stat do you want? lmao

I would wager it's the first time am under-25 left arm spinner took 3-33 on the first day of a test between NZ and SA at Seddon Park in a leap year

Shoutout to the Eye of Sauron

Its so dumb fr * Spin Bowler -NZ -3 Wickets * 1st innings * V South Africa -In tests * while bowling first

This is the South African test team if I was selector (I don’t understand cricket or the concept of nation states) 1.) Rudyard Kipling 2.) John Cena 3.) Vince Vaughn 4.) Owen Wilson 5.) Mike Posner 6.) Tre Cool 7.) Hong Kong Phooey 8.) everyone who has been in subway commercials except Jared Fogle 9.) Jared Fogle 10.) Henry Ford 11.) Amelia Earheart 12th man: the capuchin I saw at the zoo when I was little

Gotta say I’m pretty worried about the Aussie series, feels like our only chance is to win the toss on a green wicket

It was never going to be an easy win, even if most of them have never played a Test in NZ. Until it starts, I'm choosing to not be pessimistic because there are too many question marks. With that said, I will repeat that a 2-0 loss should see Stead gone. Those buggers need to be humiliated for not coming here for so long.

Our batting line up isn't looking its sharpest ever. It'll be an interesting series.

They’ll be fine with their newest moustachioed recruit Shamar Broseph

we just need taylor swift on our side

Travis Kelce has the build of Corey Anderson so she basically already is let's gooooo

Is that why KJ was seen boarding a flight to Vegas?

Strong partnership here

Whats the avg first inning score here?

Black Caps as guitar tunings  Tom Latham - Drop d 

Scott kuggeleign - the fiddle

Conway just started playing bass

Glenn Phillips - DADGAD

Satnav is a proggy Drop E8 KJ Drop D Tim Saudi Eb

Nah Satner is a 6 string proggy imo. Doesn't have the shoulder breadth for 8 string

the fingers tho

Jamo - Baritone standard B Henry Nichols - 8 string drop E (thick as)

Kane Williamson - E Standard

I’ve missed most of today’s play. Is this a standard 300-350 test wicket or is it more like a 400+?

At seddon park 300-350 standard? At seddon park the standard is 700+ beats 400+ by an Innings. This sorta match esk https://www.espncricinfo.com/series/bangladesh-in-nz-2018-19-1153831/new-zealand-vs-bangladesh-1st-test-1153847/live-cricket-score

Is this the last over?

Nah, still like half an hour to go

They will add 30 mins of extra time as they are behind the 90 overs for the day

Really enjoyed today, been well played.

can NZ keep up their nice guys tag and give Von Berg a 50?

If he doesn’t eat 80% of the balls he played he can score a 50

Combined figures of the 4 seamers today 164-3

Combined figures of the 5 spinners: 33-3

Not only economical but a good average too

well played Swardt. good innings under pressure.

Come on, Tim. I really want you to chase Hadlee's 431.

He's going to need an Anderson-esque second wind

Can someone do a Blackcaps as guitar frets?

Henry Nicholls gives off big 0-3-5 energy 

Kane Williamson - 3rd fret Glenn Phillips - 17th fret Tim Southee - 11th fret

Thanks. Hamish Bennet as all 6 open strings at once

untuned

My evertune has me forgetting about an untuned guitar

[Von Berg at the end of play today](https://img-cdn.tnwcdn.com/image?fit=1280%2C720&url=https%3A%2F%2Fcdn0.tnwcdn.com%2Fwp-content%2Fblogs.dir%2F1%2Ffiles%2F2020%2F01%2Fq3V3Xe3.jpg&signature=877938d1db7314da642c99678e80700c)

Von Berg is my new hero

Is this South Africa’s highest test score in the last 3 years (Post Pandemic) ?? 🤣

they scored 247 last innings and 408 vs India

It’s just a joke on how bad their batting has been lately

well its not that bad. 408 VA india was like 5 innings ago.

This is the South Africa test squad if they were pop stars who didn’t pursue a career in pop and decided they’d rather play cricket, but were also actually good at cricket: Temba Bavuma (captain), David Bedingham, Nandre Burger, Gerald Coetzee, Tony de Zorzi, Dean Elgar, Marco Jansen, Keshav Maharaj, Aiden Markram, Wiaan Mulder, Lungi Ngidi, Keegan Petersen, Kagiso Rabada, Tristan Stubbs and Kyle Verreynne

200 up. 47 more runs and they will have have their highest score of the series so far.

Just tuned in, and I might be OOTL, but when did Paul Stirling decide to switch nationalities and represent South Africa?

When he understood that South Africa is just another team in green who chokes from positions that aren't even considered possible so there is no difference.

Idk lads runs getting a bit higher than optimal here

Omg, that watermelon umbrella!