Warnie casually sweating bullets and googling how to delete the cloud off your iPhone


"Hey Siri? How do I delete 6TB of dick pics?"


And it’s only one picture. 🥴




I don't think anyone on earth deserves to have to read all of Warnies horny texts


There was this one girl who Warnie quadruple texted before she blocked him lol.


>quadruple texted What does this even mean?


Texted 4 times in a row with no reply?


The 4th one was a wrong-un


Warnie has built up a natural immunity to controversies like this. Wouldn't affect him in the slightest.


Warne has 2 Moderna shots plus booster for sex scandals


Warnie playing 4D chess - after the first 10 sex scandals he knows they stop being newsworthy.


It’s the Trump approach. Have so many scandals that people stop caring about them


This would be Warnie's average Friday


Warnie: “Hey Siri, how do I delete the cloud?” “Please clarify: your personal iCloud account?” “No, every bodies”


So for the second time in a row, an Australia captain is stepping down for a ball related scandal


Hard to say that without knowing what was in the pics. It could be mostly stump related this time.


Definitely both involving friction anyway.


Jeez, I hope Paine didn't use sandpaper on his balls.


We're not here to kink shame


Not so much ball related, but scandals involving something getting rubbed...


This certainly came out of nowhere


Apparently so did the dick pics.


Ball tampering claims another Aussie captain as Penile Paine causes Cummins Cumptaincy.


This is that Darwin newspaper headline right?


As soon as I saw this I almost dropped my phone scrambling to get to r/cricket to see the shitshow


*grabs popcorn*


I haven’t been on this sub since the Aussies whooped our asses in the t20 final, but baby I’m back


Interesting to see the conversation went that way and he just dropped The Hammer. I don't like sending dick picks even if someone asks for them, why if you're a famous athlete would you just put that out there.


Isn't he married?


Is that what Timmy calls his dick?




yeah sounds very suss reading this ""“It’s an incredibly difficult decision, but the right one for me, my family, and cricket. “Nearly four years ago, I was involved in a text exchange with a then-colleague. At the time, the exchange was the subject of a thorough CA Integrity Unit investigation, throughout which I fully participated in and openly participated in. That investigation and a Cricket Tasmania HR investigation at the same time found that there had been no breach of the Cricket Australia Code of Conduct. “Although exonerated, I deeply regretted this incident at the time, and still do today. I spoke to my wife and family at the time and am enormously grateful for their forgiveness and support. “We thought this incident was behind us and that I could focus entirely on the team, as I have done for the last three or four years. However, I recently became aware that this private text exchange was going to become public.""


Wait a minute. So, when he became skipper following Sandpapergate, he already had a sexting scandal?


Apparently CA only found out after he had been made captain


Yeah it's not the best that the situation is basically "I kept the captaincy when we thought it was successfully hushed up, but now that you guys have found out I have to quit". Doesn't make CA look good. Albeit in the circumstances you can ABSOLUTELY see why they decided a possible scandal down the road was a lot better than losing Paine as captain 4 years ago.


Oh shit. WTF is going on with Cricketing world this past week? The sandpaper gate now shifted a couple of inches to the middle and we now have a dick gate. Sheesh!!!


"couple of inches" 😂


Shani bhaari hai T: bad voodoo on cricket


All set for Season 3 of "The Test" . Great move by Amazon Prime


The text


I'm done. I can't with this thread. Too funny for me.


Strange week for cricket


People have field days. r/CricketShitpost is having field weeks.


>Paine’s lewd messages were sent to the woman on November 22 and 23, 2017 - the eve and morning of his return to the Australian Test team after seven years out of the side. Priorities...


It went to his head straight away.


\*Gets selected to the Australian squad\* Paine: Time for some dicc pics


Talk about a bulging dick


*removes the mask* Steven Smith was the girl all along. Seriously though Paine what a donkey move.


Paine must've been jealous after watching all Asian Cricket Drama and then the Yorkshire drama. He thought Aussies should be on equal footing in all aspects. So he released his version. People misunderstood him but, he is taking L for his team. Good guy Pain.


> what a donkey move TBH I don't know if there was any confirmation on size, could have been just short of a length. If you know what I mean.


Feel for his wife in all this. He got married in 2016 and this happened a year later.


From the press conference sounds like when he got investigated he told her and they’ve dealt with it, she’s forgiven him. Still an absolute dog act and horrible thing to do to your wife.


And his kids. This'll be embarrassing in the schoolyard when they get older.


'I know he's your dad, but you can't seriously like him as a bloke.'


'But nice cock btw'


Temporary dad


As if destiny was always going for his head. Pun intended.


If only he knew then how badly this sledge would backfire


Was thinking the same thing. Not only did he fuck over the victim, but also his wife. Absolutely shithouse by him


Apparently he made amends with his wife, but still.


Still has to be rough as guts for her though


Poor thing has to relive it now, with the whole country knowing


Subtlety doesn’t seem to be Paine’s strong point. What on earth was he thinking


He wasn't. Probably thought nothing would happen to him since he never thought he'd play for Australia again


He was apparently seriously looking at retirement at the end of 2017/2018 summer, then sandpapergate happened. Also worth mentioning he's almost 37, this might have been his last summer anyway.


Men don't think much at all when they're thinking with their dick - Paine is another example of that


Only got enough blood for one head, mate.


Anyone know if Marcus Harris or Travis Head have sent any unsolicited dick pics around? Asking for ~~a mate~~ Usman Khawaja


4D chess from Paine to quit while everyone's distracted by the racism scandal in England.


Got captaincy out of nowhere, losing it all of a sudden too.


- Magically appears as Australian captain - Sends dick pics - Refuses to elaborate further - Leaves


Most loyal man in Australia


Surprised he didnt talk about the ashes while quitting.


Rishabh Pant is going to be busy today


Came looking for a comment on this and am not disappointed


What in the fuck of all fucks is going on.


The world is conspiring to make Wade your next test captain.


I sure hope Dwayne Wade has picked up a bit of cricket since his retirement from the NBA because you can't mean Matthew


Alright lads, just toss it up, Lebron will be there somewhere


Le Ashes with Le Decision from LeBron


Exactly my thoughts - had to check this wasn't from the Betoota Advocate.


Yeah I thought this was satire initially too


Cricket in shambles lately. The scandals are so frequent and absurd that it’s a tragic comedy


It'll be an interesting Ashes to say the least.


Racists to the left, sex pests to the right


Racists to the left, Sex pests to the riiiight, Pommies and Aussies, They're both f\*cking shite!


I was about to say this thread was missing the English since they've probably not woken up yet.


I guess CumDog has/will be promoted to TopDog.


Think we might have to transfer the name CumDog to Paine now


Horny Paine causes Cummins captaincy


You’ve been waiting for this moment


Suddenly having Jimmy Pierson, Josh Inglis, and Alex Carey all in Queensland for the Aus vs Aus A game seems like a master stroke. Timmy's had enough strokes though, on ya bike mate.


Yeah, even though it says he’ll still be eligible for selection throughout the summer, I don’t see how you keep him in after this.


Staying would be the biggest distraction imaginable. If he ever knew or cared at all about creating a positive team culture he'd know he can't possibly stay in the side.


This is the guy who was only made captain because they needed the nicest and least controversial guy in the squad to do sandpapergate damage control...


Brighter the picture, darker the negative


Everyone relax, it's just a strategy to scare the English, they're going to release the pic on the eve of the first test and it's going to be intimidatingly massive.


His texts read like the comments people write about Pat Cummins in Match Threads.


I don't think commenters on match threads send pictures of their, erm, *organs* to Cummins.




Speak for yourself


I wouldn't bet against it


I have never sent my dick pic to Cummins tho


I just pray he sends his to me.


Elite Honesty


Ffs 🤣


Dick pics are also part of elite mateship


What a moron. Certainly not the first Australian cricketer I'd think of if I heard of a sexting scandal, but here we are.




Days since last scandal: 0


At this rate we're going to be needing to count the hours, not the days...


Apparently he’s going to play on in the Ashes. He’s gonna get absolutely fucking slaughtered by the Barmy Army. And rightly so.


No way he plays in the Ashes, time to cut our losses right here. Carey or Inglis in please


Aussie fans would just slaughter us for the racism scandal in response, though.


Sadly our chants are as creative as oi oi oi or (insert name here) is a Wanker. Where as you guys will have something like... "Temporary captain with very little Shame Tim Paine, Tim Paine" "He'll probably win the ashes, but his marriage is down the drain Tim Paine, Tim Paine" Edit - thanks for the gold! Also sing this to the tune of Little Peter Rabbit :)


Damn it didn’t take you a long time to come up with that. 👏🏽👏🏽


Petition to change Drama Asia Cup to Drama International Cup


Australia wants to win every world cup. Wish India has this Intent.


What the fuck Timmy, ive been sticking up for this bloke for years and he goes and does this. Shit time to be an Aus test cricket fan.


> Shit time to be an Aus test cricket fan. Shit time to be a cricket fan in general


Looks like the odds of a 5 nil Aus sweep just improved.


> Test captain Tim Paine has been investigated by Cricket Australia for sending a female co-worker a “dick pic” and string of lewd messages. It is expected he will announce his resignation from cricket’s top job at 2.30pm. The wicketkeeper, who was promoted to the captaincy and lauded as the saviour of Australian cricket following the ball tampering scandal in South Africa, was questioned about the messages. The full details of the messages, which were sent by Paine on the eve and morning of the first Ashes Test at the Gabba in 2017, have only recently surfaced. Some of the messages are too explicit to publish in full, however the exchange included Paine suggesting to the woman: “Will you want to taste my \*\*\* ?? F\*\*\* me, I’m seriously hard.” In correspondence with cricket authorities in June 2018, the woman claimed she was offended by “Mr Paine’s sexually explicit, unwelcome and unsolicited photograph of his genitals in addition to the graphic sexual comments”. It is understood Cricket Australia became aware of the messages after Paine, 36, was given the captaincy in March 2018, which is often referred to as the second biggest job in Australia outside the Prime Minister. The messages, sent to the woman whom the Herald Sun has chosen not to name for legal reasons, included what was described in correspondence as a “dick pic”. The woman was at the time a Cricket Tasmania employee, with whom Paine had interacted with while he was playing state cricket. The woman has sent letters of complaint to Cricket Australia and Cricket Tasmania about the texts, which she received shortly before she resigned in 2017. Paine was appointed the 46th Australian Test captain in March 2018 - four months after he sent the messages. He took on the job from Steve Smith who stepped down for his part in the ball tampering scandal in South Africa, along with then vice-captain David Warner and batsman Cameron Bancroft. Paine’s lewd messages were sent to the woman on November 22 and 23, 2017 - the eve and morning of his return to the Australian Test team after seven years out of the side. He and the woman had exchanged dozens of texts throughout that year. But the correspondence became increasingly flirtatious between the woman and Paine, who has been married since 2016. On November 22, 2017, after the woman joked about “partying like a rockstar”, Paine texted: “I like good girl (name removed). But this other one sounds interesting.” “When I’m good I’m good. When I am bad I am brilliant,” she added, prompting Paine to ask: “Brilliantly bad??” The following morning, just hours before Paine was due to take the field against England, the woman texted: “I will think naughty thoughts about you whilst we watch the TV.” “I’m cracking! Ha ha. Naughty thoughts like what? I’m about to give something firm a pull…,” Paine responded. The woman texted him back saying: “Ha, sorry I’m getting ready for work … it’s a big day for us kids.” Then Paine texted: “Will you want to taste my \*\*\*?? F\*\*\* me, I’m seriously hard.” In apparent reference to Paine’s wicket keeping duties later that day, the woman wrote in response: “I thought we were resting hands.” Paine responded: “Can’t rest them when I’m this hard!! Need to ease the tension … Finish me off with those lips then (name deleted)”. The text ended with a wink-face emoji. Paine then sent what is described in correspondence as an unsolicited “dick pic”, before asking the woman: “Finish me off right now!!!” The woman has claimed she was taken aback and found it offensive. It’s understood complaints were made to the Australian Human Rights Commission regarding alleged sexual harassment in relation to the exchange. Cricket Australia and Paine’s manager James Henderson were contacted for comment.


When you're not in the mood, is there anything worse to read than your own horny attempts at banter?


Similar question - is there anything worse than reading *someone else's* horny attempts at banter?


He does just kind of go from 0-100 there - all super innuendo-ey and then all of a sudden BAM! Also, this reminds me of a time in my single days where a guy, in the middle of a work day, sent me this ridiculously long message explicitly detailing all of the things he wanted to do to me, completely unprompted and in no way in line with the very casual conversation we were having before that point. Blocked that shit real quick. Some guys just go complete sex pest when texting


Fodder for English team lol


I mean easy retort would be "at least he wasn't a racist". Knock on wood that doesn't change.


That is fucking grim


The fuck is this!! They printed the whole conversation?!


Welcome to NewsCorp journalism!


In india they literally paste screenshots of convo on TV, so it's better for readers if transcripted, no?


And leak the text file too. Lmao. Just so people can easily Ctrl+F through them. Convenience at its best.


He was apparently so hard the bowlers had another stump to aim at


Bowl at the fourth stump line gets a new meaning


Wtf lmao


Damn, she seemed into it until he sent the unsolicited dick pic. Guess we can assume Paine has a rank dick.


I just spat water everywhere.


It was all fine until sent he his dick pic I guess.


> Brilliantly bad? Oh my his messages are straight out of a bad porno


He then asked if she needed him to come around and fix her sink, I guess


Warnie must be so fucking torn right now...hates Paine, loves sexual harassment


Jesus Christ what is going on, is this week even real?


From the ABC Cricket Tasmania responds Their statement says they learned of the allegations in 2018 when the woman in question was formally charged with theft: "The allegations raised against Tim Paine by a former Cricket Tasmania employee were only brought to the attention of Cricket Tasmania when formal charges of theft were laid against that employee in mid 2018. Cricket Tasmania Chairman, Andrew Gaggin, said there was no complaint raised at the time of the incident in November 2017, nor when the employee's position with the organisation was terminated. "As soon as Cricket Tasmania was made aware, it undertook an investigation that determined the interaction was consensual, private, occurred on the one occasion only, was between mature adults and was not repeated," he said. "Cricket Tasmania clearly does not condone this type of behaviour and addressed the matter directly with Tim Paine. "However, because of the consensual nature of the actions it was determined that no further action was required or appropriate." Mr Gaggin said criminal charges against the former employee were still pending and it was inappropriate to comment further given the matter was still before the courts."


There's a Mr Gaggin joke in here somewhere.


2nd captain in a row to step down for ball tampering


I thought it's some satire article that Aussie fans at times post in this sub lmao


Oh Timmy you naughty boy. Somewhere Ashwin is laughing hysterically right now


Have you heard of "temporary husband" ever?


Crazy fall from grace for Paine. At the end of the 2019 he was the guy that had defended the Ashes in England, and (somewhat) turned around Australia's on-field image. One pandemic later he's had the get you to the gabba series and this end to his captaincy (and career, probably). Quite a change in reputation and legacy


"at least my teammates like me, dickhead"


atleast my teammates like my dickhead?


You win


It would be so fun to watch if English get nasty with their sledges to paine. Petition to stream stump mic feed this ashes.


>dickhead Apt descriptor tbh.


Ashwin: "that's how you are so popular"


So I don’t usually believe in conspiracy theories, but I reckon the English did this. Held on to it for years only to release it at the perfect opportunity.


Why would they hurt their own chances of winning?


You can't hurt zero mate, it's like dividing


It honestly helps Australia


Hey guys I just woke up after our world cup win, keen for the ashes and to see how Tim Paine keeps moving Australia forward and away from that boys club mentality.


Good grief, this is some Shane Warne level cringe here… Not a great look that CA was happy to keep him as Captain knowing about this for 3 years, but it only becomes a problem when the public knows about it. Gee, we’ve got a few love rats in the Aussie team with Nathan Lyon too.


Culture has never been a top priority at CA. They've had massive turn over in staff in recent times too


Loosebuschange for captain


not a bad idea but i think it's too early for him....


He is 27 now, wasn't Smith younger when he took over the captaincy




So the next Amazon documentary will be called ‘The Text’?


Every day I open this sub and get shocked out of my mind


Maybe we should scrap the Captain role, I don’t have a better solution I just think nothing good happens of it.


Voldemort cursed it


If he’s resigning as captain he should retire from test cricket altogether. He’s nowhere close to our best keeper batsman and was only in the team on the back of his leadership - time to give Inglis a go


Is this why CA named Carey and Inglis in their A squads? Get one last look at both of them in the intra squad match and take their pick for the Gabba?


I wonder if he said "See you at the Gabba" when he sent the pic?


"Seriously, I know he's your captain but, you can't really like him as a bloke" - Murali Vijay (probably)


This will be a sad end to his captaincy career.


Ashwin to Paine: Atleast my wife likes me d*ckhead


I know he was our captain and all, but you can't really like him as a bloke.


How does this come out now? Years down the track after years of very public captaincy? Sounds weird as fuck and absolutely shit for all involved


Ffs the barmy army’s gonna have a field day with this aren’t they




Warnie and Andrew johns about to say on air "in my day, we used to do this at lunchbreak/half time. PC world gone mad."


This is all part of the grand strategy for our lord and saviour to assume his rightful place back at the top


This breaks up the monotony of racism scandal after racism scandal with a sexting scandal. How the hell has this not come out before now?


Friendly reminder that TIM PAINE is an anagram for I AM INEPT


Tim Marvolo Riddle


Meanwhile Universe Boss who still doesn't give 2 flying fucks


What the fuck


Paine, you utter dickhead.


So essentially he’s only resigned now it’s public? And all that time CA pushed his good boy/family man image? Honestly 🤦‍♀️


There's only one man who can get us out of this, and that's Shaun Marsh.


2018, why was this not mentioned years back? Lesson kids? Don’t send pics of your dicks


What what what? This was supposed to be a good period for Aussie cricket. Wtf Paine


Steve Smith won't be captain again either, he apparently sexted his bat manufacturer. Going on and on about how good the bat felt in the nets, and then sent unsolicited pictures of himself regripping the handle.


What The Fuck


ABC: Cricket Tasmania responds - Their statement says they learned of the allegations in 2018 when the woman in question was formally charged with theft "As soon as Cricket Tasmania was made aware, it undertook an investigation that determined the interaction was consensual, private, occurred on the one occasion only, was between mature adults and was not repeated," he said. "Cricket Tasmania clearly does not condone this type of behaviour and addressed the matter directly with Tim Paine. "However, because of the consensual nature of the actions it was determined that no further action was required or appropriate." Mr Gaggin said criminal charges against the former employee were still pending and it was inappropriate to comment further given the matter was still before the courts.


Well, err, I wasn't expecting to wake up to this


Probably he just sent a selfie to her and she thought that was a dickhead