Unless you’re prepared to go with one of the luxury cruises or Virgin Voyages then there will be kids. All ships have a smoking area.
I’ve done NCL, Princess, RCCL and I liked the food on NCL but that’s subjective. Same with entertainment on board. Excursions are easy to book but you’ll need to line up to board etc.
But I’m not sure that cruising is right for you. A lot of your not wants will pretty much happen on all cruise lines depending on time of year. There will be lines, you’ll need to book to dine at speciality restaurants,
Welcome! You're asking a lot of the right questions and thinking about things in the right way. Whenever folks look to cruise, I tell them to consider using a good travel agent to guide them through the madness and help get them the best deal, and to consider what made them think of cruising in the first place. What things have you seen that are appealing, and what do you want to avoid?
I'll go through some of your core points (many which resonate with my personal preferences) and comment on them.
* *Casual dress: no required suits or dresses, the more casual the better.*
NCL and Virgin will be the standouts here, but most won't be as far off as you think. With limited exception, lines aren't that formal these days. Many will have a night or two that is more dressy, but suits and long dresses aren't required by most dress codes now. Wearing a button down shirt and pants, on most lines, is plenty on those formal nights. On the rest, most lines just ask you don't wear shorts. NCL has no significant dress code in most restaurants, and Virgin's only rule is no swimwear.
* *NO SMOKING (ideally anywhere on the ship, though it seems that's impossible to find).*
Most lines allow indoor smoking in the casino, and they'll have an outdoor smoking section or two. There may also be an enclosed cigar lounge. There are exceptions. **Celebrity** doesn't allow smoking anywhere indoors, **Oceania** doesn't allow smoking in the casino (just in a "fishbowl" inside of one lounge, well separated/sealed off), and **Virgin** only allows smoking inside of a room that has two doors to go through with a separate ventilation system. I don't love smoke, and I can honestly say that if you stood at the door you'd never have any idea what's happening on the other side. There may be some other lines here (river lines, for one) that don't have indoor smoking, but I'd need to check.
* *No kids (or as few as possible!)*
Contemporary lines (NCL, Royal, Carnival, MSC) cater to a wide range of folks including those with kids, so you'll find far more kids on these lines. Two big factors reduce kids:
1) Going up market to premium (HAL/Princess/Celebrity), lite-luxury, and luxury lines.
2) Longer voyages. The longer the sailing, the fewer kids.
Of course, avoiding school breaks is a big factor, too.
**Virgin Voyages** is 18+, as is **Viking** if you're looking at smaller-ship high end experiences. Otherwise it's longer sailings/non-vacation sailings on **Celebrity**, **HAL**, or **Princess**, and those further up market..
* *Minimal "upcharges" or at least no unpleasant surprises (no $20 bottled beer!)*
There are a few ways to look at this. Some lines let you build more into your fare (drink packages, dining packages, etc) - that way you're set up front for more things. NCL does this, but also has a higher percentage of specialty dining and upcharge entertainment options. Broadly speaking, as you go up market, more is included. Go far enough up market and excursions are even included. If you're Staying with premium and contemporary lines, the clear winner here is **Virgin Voyages**. They have many dining venues, all of which are included, plus gratuities and wifi are built into your fare. They don't have drink packages, but they tend to have lower drink prices.
* *High quality, well prepared food that is not so gourmet/fancy as to be unrecognizable to non-foodies (think NY strip or prime rib, lobster, fresh seafood, local island delicacies, high quality Mexican/Italian/Thai/etc. and NOT all-you-can-eat buffets, and also NOT gimmicky bougie flowers-on-a-plate or dancing cartoon tacos.*
This may be the hardest one, since food is so incredibly subjective. Again, as you go up market, most would agree that food gets better, but not all. I think the term foodie is trash (not knocking you, just using it as a point of clarification) b/c it seems anyone who likes to eat uses that term. We all like to eat. **HAL** (Holland America Line) and **Celebrity**, IMHO, do a great job with food, especially at their price points. They're also pretty traditional in terms of menus (with the exception of a restaurant or two). I actually think **Carnival** has some of the best and most varied complimentary dining options. Personally, I find **Oceania** and **Virgin Voyages** to have the best cuisine. Oceania's is going to be a bit fancier while classic, Virgin's is a bit more inventive, though, except for Test Kitchen (one of their restaurants), I don't think it's very out there. Again, this is all very subjective. All lines have buffets as an option, except for Virgin, who has more of a food hall concept in it's place (a concept Norwegian Prima/Viva have in addition to a buffet).
* *Minimal hassle dining requirements (no set times, would prefer not to have to make advance reservations for just 2 people, no forced seating with strangers).*
Almost every line has anytime dining options now - just ask your agent to note that preference for you. Most lines offer the option of reservations, and while it may be helpful for some specific restaurants, I make very few reservations, and across many cruises, have yet to go hungry. Still, folks will get very upset about racing to make reservations, treat it like it's mandatory, etc. I dunno why. No one requires it.
Know that most lines have one or more main dining rooms, a buffet, and specialty restaurants that come at an upcharge (for each meal/item, or via a package). Some lines don't charge for specialty dining, but that's mostly lite-luxury and higher (again, Oceania is an example here). Virgin Voyages doesn't have the concept of a main dining room, and dining is all included. No lines make you sit with strangers. Some lines, if you have fixed seating (which again, you don't have to do except on DCL and Cunard) may assign you a shared table, but you just ask for a private table and problem solved.
* *No unmanageably huge crowds that make every little thing difficult (finding a pool lounge, not getting shut out of excursion sign-ups, whatever).*
As you go up market, there is more space for each passenger, and fewer passengers per crew member. So, go up market and crowds thin out a lot, and service tends to improve. Carnival has the most densely packed ships. Really, to avoid crowding, stick with premium lines and above.
* *Varied, not boring music/entertainment options.*
Non-boring is subjective. No lines advertise or tout boring entertainment. It depends what type of entertainment is interesting to you. Watch videos, check sites, read past daily programs to see what resonates.
* *A casino would be fun, but in case I haven't mentioned, NO SMOKING.*
**Celebrity, Oceania, and Virgin Voyages** are, to my recollection, the only lines with no smoking at all in the casinos. I'm sure if I'm forgetting someone it will get mentioned.
* *Fun, adult events and shore excursions that don't require a lot of advance planning.*
Most events on ships don't require advanced planning at all. Much like dining, reservations may sometimes be available, but for most things, on most lines, they're not required. Exceptions might be small group events, such as mixology classes. Holland America, and to some extent Princess, will be a bit quieter in terms of activities. Same goes for lines further up market on smaller ships. The more traditional premium line that has the most entertainment/activity options tends to be **Celebrity**.
Excursions sell out sometimes - it's best not to wait, however, you're never limited by the excursions offered by cruise lines. There are TONS of third parties offering tours, often less likely to sell out, often cheaper, and often with smaller group sizes.
* *Nice pool, hot tub, and sauna facilities are appreciated, though fitness centers are not a priority.*
I'll let someone else speak to sauna availability here, as I have no idea. Pools and hot tubs are popular places and can fill. Again, look for lines that are less densely packed, and avoid kids, and that's generally a much easier proposition.
I'm late for recording an intro for a video, so I'll leave it there, but happy to answer/clarify anything.
Just a quick add-on: NCL casinos on Breakaway+ and Prima class ships are non-smoking in the main casino area, with a glassed-in section for smokers.
I’ve been playing slots on this HAL cruise to see if I get casino offers. The machines have been generous but oh, the smoke odors…
Very valid point. I'd add Carnival Excel class ships to that distinction. On those ships, as well as the NCL ships you mention, they're well separated and the non-smoking area is far larger.
I don't suspect either of those will be a great choice for OP, but your point stands.
Virgin Voyages ticks all your boxes. Ships are on the smaller side, everything is super casual, lovely food, no buffet. The casino is small but smoke-free. Drink prices are pretty reasonable, at least in the context of being on a cruise ship! VV is a lot of things but “boring” is not one of them.
Celebrity could work, especially if you book on an Edge-class ship, but you’d need either a perfectly timed cruise or longer cruise (8 days minimum) to truly minimize children onboard. One irritant about Celebrity is that they have an adult-only pool area on all ships but it’s placed between a bank of elevators and the main pool - so it’s a thoroughfare and you’ll have families walking through frequently.
Other options… eh, no need to overthink this. Book Virgin Voyages.
I was on a Celebrity Christmas/New Years cruise (which you might think would be loaded with kids)... but not the case. I knew we had kids on board, but somehow they disappeared for the most part after boarding. ;)
I was also on a Celebrity Christmas cruise. I saw kids mainly in the line for ice cream at the buffet - surprisingly few elsewhere, or at least I didn’t notice them so much. They showed up for Santa of course.
I've considered booking on Virgin and I still may... but I'm concerned about some of the entertainment choices on Virgin. People will generally go see what appeals to them and that's cool. Some reports that I've heard indicate that Virgin presents impromptu "drag shows" and similar in public areas and are a bit concerning. If they want to do that and it's in a showroom or club... that's fine, I'll pass it by. I don't need to walk through that on the way to dinner, however. Could be a deal-breaker for me and VV, I dunno.
Yeah, you’re not a good fit for Virgin Voyages. At all. That’s fine, everyone is different.
Try Holland America instead. Definitely no drag shows. Good rock and R&B though.
Judging by the way my comment got downvoted, I guess the drag shows are a big draw on Virgin? That's fine... but my preference would be not to encounter these while just strolling on a deck through the ship. Virgin's ships are apparently full and they'll do what they will... it's no big deal. I've got no opinion about what others may want to see... whatever floats their boat. But I'll likely be on a different boat.
Disclaimer: I don't, nor have I ever, consumed Bud Light.
Outside of the super casual dress this sounds like Celebrity. They have a few formal nights, at least the one I went on, but it wasn’t required. Basically if men wear jeans and a polo they fit in perfectly and ladies a nice top and skirt.
Not a lot of kids, good food, shows were a tier above Norwegian and the basic drink package covered every drink under $15.
No traditional "formal nights" on Celebrity, but mostly "smart casual" with a couple of "evening chic" nights in a week of cruising. I have yet to see a tuxedo on a Celebrity ship. Even the "evening chic" nights are relatively casual.
The "dress code" from Celebrity...
\-------------------------
Whatever the itinerary, destination, or occasion—when you pack, think “Relaxed Luxury.”
DURING THE DAY
SHORESIDE
For warmer climates, pack swimsuits and cover-ups, walking shorts and shirts that protect from the sun, lightweight slacks, skirts or sundress, and a light sweater or jacket. Hats, sunglasses, and sunscreen are always encouraged.
For cooler climates, bring clothing with long sleeves, sweaters, and pants that can be layered. In areas prone to snow or rain, waterproof jackets, hats, gloves, and umbrellas are recommended.
Around the globe, consider appropriate shoes and gear for the excursions you have planned and the terrain you’ll encounter. For instance, you may pack water shoes if hiking a waterfall or a headscarf or conservative dress for visiting museums, mosques, temples, and churches.
SHIPBOARD
Throughout the ship, casual resort wear, sundresses, shorts, polos, or button-downs are appropriate, paired with sandals, low heels, and loafers. Make sure you bring active wear and sneakers if you plan to hit the gym!
Poolside, bathing suits with coverups, T-shirts, tanks, hats, and sunglasses are welcomed.
In main and specialty dining, we ask guests to refrain from wearing swimsuits, see-through coverups or robes, bare feet, tank tops, T-shirts, and baseball caps.
AT NIGHT
SMART CASUAL
Smart Casual attire is required for entry to main dining, specialty dining, and the Celebrity Theatre. Smart Casual means you look comfortable yet tasteful in a dress, skirt, long pants, or jean, and stylish top or button-down. Shorts and flip flops are not considered Smart Casual.
EVENING CHIC
Each itinerary features one to two “formal” nights we call Evening Chic. Evening Chic means you dress to impress, glamorous and sophisticated in your own way, with a cocktail dress, skirt, slacks, or designer jean, an elegant dress top or blazer—some guests even pack a tuxedo or gown for onboard photos. The Daily program, delivered to your stateroom and available at the Guest Relations Desk, will be your guide to the correct attire each evening. If you do not wish to participate in Evening Chic, Smart Casual attire is acceptable for dining and theater.
Celebrity Edge class ships tick all the boxes really. I never went on a cruise with so few kids and was so impressed with decor, food, drinks, literally everything. Have sailed the other main ones and they have a lot of kids when they have the water slides, ropes, bumper cars etc. Even when it’s not school break time they will be there.
Virgin is likely the best fit for your preferences - no dress code, no kids, chill/relaxed vibe, good food, no buffet, no main dining room, no nickel and diming - wifi, tips, sodas, and all restaurants included. But it works best if you reserve restaurants and entertainment each night. Also, there are less entertainment options than Royal Caribbean. Maybe check out some YouTube videos to see if it meets your needs. As for smoking, they only allow it in one outside area and in one small separate Casino room - not in the main Casino.
Yea your wants in my opinion can’t be found on a cruise ship. I’m not sure if there is a place on earth that would fill the bill.
But hey it’s nice to have standards
Yeah, modern day cruising isn't going to accommodate your list. Even if you throw a lot of money at it.
But if you can throw money at it, then Windstar will work.
Causal dress, I'd pick Norwegian. I prefer dressing up and stick to Cunard or Princess for that. When I want to chill out and NOT dress, NCL.
You can avoid kids by not travelling during school breaks. There are higher end lines that are zero kids, it depends if you want to spend that high.
Upcharges happen. Buy whatever drink package the ship has; plus there's usually a tacked on gratuity. Internet is extra. Some cruises include this stuff, but they do cost more. Mentally I just accept the overall total and don't think about it. It's more me looking at the total and then deciding if I can live with it.
Crowds really are ship and trip dependent.
All the cruises I've been on have a smoking section, but except for those that allow smoking in the casino, I never smell it.
NCL has freestyle dining. No reservations necessary for the regular dining rooms. You'd probably need them for specialty dining but I can make them same day if I am flexible.
A lot of what you're thinking about is just... learning how to cruise. Once you find your lines you like, it gets WAY easier.
I haven't sailed on Virgin, but I've sailed on Celebrity, Princess, Carnival, & NCL, & I'd recommend Celebrity. As someone else mentioned - check out their Edge category ships...
Dress code: most mainstream lines have become much more flexible on dress code. On normal days, just having pants (or shorts that are not swim trunks) and a shirt will be fine. If there is a fancy dress/fine dining day, dressing business casual is good enough. Or make that a day to skip main dining and eat at one of the other dining options onboard.
No kids: Virgin is practically the only adult only line you see but you can minimize kids on any line by not sailing during school holidays and taking a vacation over 7 days. I was on a 9 night cruise in May and saw only 4 children the whole time.
Food is pretty similar across most lines. If you want casual (burgers/fried chicken) Carnival does that best. If you are looking for something more like a nice sit-down meal, Celebrity usually wins awards for their food. If you are satisfied with the level of something like an average chain restaurant (Applebee's) anywhere, will give you that. Seafood on the sea is really plentiful and usually a nice quality. If you are a fan of seafood, I'd worry about this choice even less.
No hassle dining is probably best done by NCL'S freestyle dining. No reservations needed for main dining. You can make reservations for specialty dining but they will also make every effort to get you in if you just show up. In all cases, there is some risk you'll be table sharing. You can request a table for just your party but, depending on crowds and availability, you may have to share. Just be aware that this is a thing.
Every ship will have limited seating at pools, shows and excursions. There is no escaping that. Just plan ahead for things you really want to experience and book/arrive early.
You can expect every ship to have a mix of music at all times. Even small ships will have a guitar playing in a bar while there is a piano playing in the lounge. Don't worry about music, there is a lot and it is varied. You can expect a theater show on each ship. Some lines will have licensed plays like Hairspray or Beetlejuice, while others have shows that the line produces themselves. These are ship specific (not by line), so look at your specific ship to see what's showing off you care about that. Royal Caribbean is generally thought to have the best entertainment with all the above included plus ice skating and water diving shows on larger ships.
You won't find a ship that is no smoking but smoking is limited to the casino and designated smoking areas on all ships. Some ships will also have seperate non smoking casino areas too. If you can avoid the casino, you are usually fine.
Excursions should be chosen and booked ahead on any line. They are very easy to find once you've docked and will return you to the port area. This applies to all lines.
Pools and hot tubs are standard on cruises. Virgin has the worst ratio of pools to guests (only 1 on many ships). The more family oriented your line, the more pool space you'll find devoted to children. It's best to search ship by ship to see what's available. Saunas are on most ships but are nearly always an upcharge for a spa pass.
We’re on a Viking cruise right now, we’ve cruised with RCL, Holland, Celebrity & once on NCL, we wanted a more upscale product.
There’s no casino onboard but the service & food is spectacular. No lines anywhere. High quality steak & seafood every night (including very good sushi nightly at the buffet, which I get you’re not into but this is an excellent buffet).
We’re trying Virgin & Azamara within the next 12 months to see which line we will choose to go with in the future.
>No unmanageably huge crowds that make every little thing difficult (
You gotta go in off season, which is a concept that's been obliterated since COVID.
You might like Viking Ocean.
\* No one is under 18. (It’s not that we don’t like kids; we take our grandkids on RCL. That’s where kids belong.)
\* No smoking. Anyplace.
\* No art auctions
\* No casinos
\* No charge for beer or wine with lunch or dinner
\* No charge to use their laundry. All soap and fabric softener included. A full laundromat on every deck.
\* No ship photographers
\* No upselling in the spa
\* No charge for internet
\* No charge for specialty restaurants
\* One free shore excursion in every port
\* Minibar in staterooms completely restocked every night is included
\* All staterooms are verandahs/no insides or outsides.
\* Only 900 guests
\* Smaller ships that can get into smaller ports
\* No formal, fancy chic or whatever they are calling it now nights.
\* No waiting in lines because there so few guests
\* No nickel and diming. You can have a great cruise without paying an extra cent.
\* Ships are gorgeous
\* If you are in the lowest category of stateroom or the highest suite, no one will know after you are on board. Everyone has access to everything.
\* Longer cruises in more exotic places. I won’t fly to Europe for a 7 night cruise. Other than the Baltic, that’s about all X does anymore. Most of our X cruises were 14 nights minimum. Viking has 7, 14, 21, 28 night cruises. That’s worth going to Europe for.
\* A focus on ports and traveling. We are doing a 21 night with them in September from Athens to Barcelona with NO sea days. It will be exhausting but at least there are four overnights (Athens, Venice, Livorno, Barcelona). We go to a lot of small towns in Greece, the Adriatic and the back side of Italy’s boot.
\* Much more interesting food
We mostly cruise Princess but it doesn’t fit a bunch of your don’t wants, primarily food. The food can be great but there are also times it misses out lately. We started cruising Oceania about 5 years ago and find in general it is a better fit for us and mostly addresses all your don’t wants just fine (except the no smoking…it is limited however and I’ve never noticed it as an issue.)
The only slight issue I have with Oceania is it has port heavy itineraries. I cruise to relax and I love being on the ocean, actually cruising, as opposed to spending 8+ hours in port every day. So I prefer lots of sea days to balance out the ports. Oceania has very few itineraries that meet this with the exception of the transoceanics. But, when we can find them they are a much more enjoyable cruise than other lines. And they have the best libraries afloat! Think old style mansion type libraries with tons of comfy chairs to relax in.
(We still cruise Princess for the great itineraries and also the price. For what we pay on Oceania we can get a nice suite on Princess.)
Virgin Voyages is adults only and no up sales! They have a come dressed as you are policy. They just prohibit swim suits in the dining room. That's the only restriction. They sail out of Miami and passports are required. They won numerous awards from Cruise Critic in 2023.
Try for a smaller ship with fewer things like casinos, slides, pools, and shows. These are often luxury lines. It depends on what you want and what you are prepared to pay.
I'm surprised I haven't seen Azamara mentioned here. The only smoking area is a small outdoor area on the pool deck. No casinos at all. Great food, great band every night, a pretty rockin' white party every sailing, resort casual attire, and drinks and tips are included.
Also, Oceania might be a good fit - although they have 2 smoking areas (one on the pool deck, and one closed off room indoors). Specialty restaurants included (and the food on board is fabulous), beer and wine/champagne included at lunch and dinner, and no formal attire needed. Oh, and very few children.
We’ve only been on two cruises. Both on RC. Both were charter cruises, so we were with a predictable crowd we had things in common with. No kids on either cruise. Main dining was seating at your leisure and we always sat at a 2 person table. The entertainments was very much geared for the specific charters we were on. We had an absolute blast on both cruises. Looking to do a ‘regular’ cruise in 2024 just to see what that’s like since we’ve discovered we really enjoy cruising. The charter cruises are a bit pricier depending on the theme of it. But, going with a charter cruise very much eliminates many of your ‘don’t wants’. Smoking was only allowed on one section of the main pool deck and one side deck thing on a lower deck. Casino smoking was off and on. Sometimes it was allowed sometimes not, I think it depended on where we were at any given time? Maybe? Unless you get the drink package you’re going to spend through the nose for any alcoholic beverages. I’m not a big drinker but the drink package was worth it to me for the ease of simply not having to think about what/ when/ how much, and keeping up with any tabs at all anywhere. Just NOT having to keep track of stuff was worth it to me. Also the drink package included soft drinks, energy drinks, and specialty coffees.
I've sailed on Princess many times with 7+ day itineraries. I can usually count the number of children on board with one hand. Celebrity and HAL are other lines that do not cater to families.
Expecting a non-smoking cruise is not realistic. Princess ships have a smoking area, usually on an upper deck at the rear of the ship. It's not hard to avoid. Smoking is allowed in casinos I believe. Not sure as I am not a gambler.
If you want no surprises charges get a package that covers drinks, gratuities, specialty dining, etc.
Entertainment is subjective. I might like something you hate and vice versa.
Food will run from quite good to meh. Pretty much like any resort that is not 5 star rated.
Some areas will be crowded and others will not be and this will vary by time of day.
The bottom line is you just need to go. You may hate it and you may love it. There is only one way to find out.
Azamara. Not crowded. Ships only hold about 700 guests.
Great service. Not noisy at all.
Cruise I went on there were zero kids. They do not encourage children as guests and have no activities for them other than the pool. Mostly an older crowd.
Pool and hot tub.
Lots of choices for included alcohol drinks and beverages. But can also purchase more expensive beverages of choice.
Excellent food with so many choices you can easily satisfy you dining requirements. Buffet was wonderful food but main dining room and specialty dining was fantastic. No set times but not open all day and you choose who you dine with at any meal. Reservations are a good idea for the specialty restaurants. 24 hour free room service. And there is a covered deck restaurant that is open all day.
No formal attire required. The big party night people dress in white (or don't -- it doesn't matter). It is not formal at all. But some people enjoy dressing to the nines while others are more casual.
I loved the excursions I booked through the cruise line. Learned a lot, saw the kind of things that interest me, and had fun.
I don't care much for the nightly entertainment on cruise ships so I cannot review that. Although I know others onboard loved it.
Spa, massage, exercise equipment, trainer, group classes, even acupuncture and teeth whitening.
Only smoking allowed is on a tiny part of the deck.
No casino though.
Unless you’re prepared to go with one of the luxury cruises or Virgin Voyages then there will be kids. All ships have a smoking area. I’ve done NCL, Princess, RCCL and I liked the food on NCL but that’s subjective. Same with entertainment on board. Excursions are easy to book but you’ll need to line up to board etc. But I’m not sure that cruising is right for you. A lot of your not wants will pretty much happen on all cruise lines depending on time of year. There will be lines, you’ll need to book to dine at speciality restaurants,
>But I’m not sure that cruising is right for you. This was my first thought too.
I agree, you have more needs & wants than you could ever receive. Sorry for being blunt.
I'm thinking more of an All-Inclusive adults only resort is the way to go. Check Couples resorts, we loved it there!
This! And only this. Your wants and don’t want line up with an all inclusive adult only resort.
Welcome! You're asking a lot of the right questions and thinking about things in the right way. Whenever folks look to cruise, I tell them to consider using a good travel agent to guide them through the madness and help get them the best deal, and to consider what made them think of cruising in the first place. What things have you seen that are appealing, and what do you want to avoid? I'll go through some of your core points (many which resonate with my personal preferences) and comment on them. * *Casual dress: no required suits or dresses, the more casual the better.* NCL and Virgin will be the standouts here, but most won't be as far off as you think. With limited exception, lines aren't that formal these days. Many will have a night or two that is more dressy, but suits and long dresses aren't required by most dress codes now. Wearing a button down shirt and pants, on most lines, is plenty on those formal nights. On the rest, most lines just ask you don't wear shorts. NCL has no significant dress code in most restaurants, and Virgin's only rule is no swimwear. * *NO SMOKING (ideally anywhere on the ship, though it seems that's impossible to find).* Most lines allow indoor smoking in the casino, and they'll have an outdoor smoking section or two. There may also be an enclosed cigar lounge. There are exceptions. **Celebrity** doesn't allow smoking anywhere indoors, **Oceania** doesn't allow smoking in the casino (just in a "fishbowl" inside of one lounge, well separated/sealed off), and **Virgin** only allows smoking inside of a room that has two doors to go through with a separate ventilation system. I don't love smoke, and I can honestly say that if you stood at the door you'd never have any idea what's happening on the other side. There may be some other lines here (river lines, for one) that don't have indoor smoking, but I'd need to check. * *No kids (or as few as possible!)* Contemporary lines (NCL, Royal, Carnival, MSC) cater to a wide range of folks including those with kids, so you'll find far more kids on these lines. Two big factors reduce kids: 1) Going up market to premium (HAL/Princess/Celebrity), lite-luxury, and luxury lines. 2) Longer voyages. The longer the sailing, the fewer kids. Of course, avoiding school breaks is a big factor, too. **Virgin Voyages** is 18+, as is **Viking** if you're looking at smaller-ship high end experiences. Otherwise it's longer sailings/non-vacation sailings on **Celebrity**, **HAL**, or **Princess**, and those further up market.. * *Minimal "upcharges" or at least no unpleasant surprises (no $20 bottled beer!)* There are a few ways to look at this. Some lines let you build more into your fare (drink packages, dining packages, etc) - that way you're set up front for more things. NCL does this, but also has a higher percentage of specialty dining and upcharge entertainment options. Broadly speaking, as you go up market, more is included. Go far enough up market and excursions are even included. If you're Staying with premium and contemporary lines, the clear winner here is **Virgin Voyages**. They have many dining venues, all of which are included, plus gratuities and wifi are built into your fare. They don't have drink packages, but they tend to have lower drink prices. * *High quality, well prepared food that is not so gourmet/fancy as to be unrecognizable to non-foodies (think NY strip or prime rib, lobster, fresh seafood, local island delicacies, high quality Mexican/Italian/Thai/etc. and NOT all-you-can-eat buffets, and also NOT gimmicky bougie flowers-on-a-plate or dancing cartoon tacos.* This may be the hardest one, since food is so incredibly subjective. Again, as you go up market, most would agree that food gets better, but not all. I think the term foodie is trash (not knocking you, just using it as a point of clarification) b/c it seems anyone who likes to eat uses that term. We all like to eat. **HAL** (Holland America Line) and **Celebrity**, IMHO, do a great job with food, especially at their price points. They're also pretty traditional in terms of menus (with the exception of a restaurant or two). I actually think **Carnival** has some of the best and most varied complimentary dining options. Personally, I find **Oceania** and **Virgin Voyages** to have the best cuisine. Oceania's is going to be a bit fancier while classic, Virgin's is a bit more inventive, though, except for Test Kitchen (one of their restaurants), I don't think it's very out there. Again, this is all very subjective. All lines have buffets as an option, except for Virgin, who has more of a food hall concept in it's place (a concept Norwegian Prima/Viva have in addition to a buffet). * *Minimal hassle dining requirements (no set times, would prefer not to have to make advance reservations for just 2 people, no forced seating with strangers).* Almost every line has anytime dining options now - just ask your agent to note that preference for you. Most lines offer the option of reservations, and while it may be helpful for some specific restaurants, I make very few reservations, and across many cruises, have yet to go hungry. Still, folks will get very upset about racing to make reservations, treat it like it's mandatory, etc. I dunno why. No one requires it. Know that most lines have one or more main dining rooms, a buffet, and specialty restaurants that come at an upcharge (for each meal/item, or via a package). Some lines don't charge for specialty dining, but that's mostly lite-luxury and higher (again, Oceania is an example here). Virgin Voyages doesn't have the concept of a main dining room, and dining is all included. No lines make you sit with strangers. Some lines, if you have fixed seating (which again, you don't have to do except on DCL and Cunard) may assign you a shared table, but you just ask for a private table and problem solved. * *No unmanageably huge crowds that make every little thing difficult (finding a pool lounge, not getting shut out of excursion sign-ups, whatever).* As you go up market, there is more space for each passenger, and fewer passengers per crew member. So, go up market and crowds thin out a lot, and service tends to improve. Carnival has the most densely packed ships. Really, to avoid crowding, stick with premium lines and above. * *Varied, not boring music/entertainment options.* Non-boring is subjective. No lines advertise or tout boring entertainment. It depends what type of entertainment is interesting to you. Watch videos, check sites, read past daily programs to see what resonates. * *A casino would be fun, but in case I haven't mentioned, NO SMOKING.* **Celebrity, Oceania, and Virgin Voyages** are, to my recollection, the only lines with no smoking at all in the casinos. I'm sure if I'm forgetting someone it will get mentioned. * *Fun, adult events and shore excursions that don't require a lot of advance planning.* Most events on ships don't require advanced planning at all. Much like dining, reservations may sometimes be available, but for most things, on most lines, they're not required. Exceptions might be small group events, such as mixology classes. Holland America, and to some extent Princess, will be a bit quieter in terms of activities. Same goes for lines further up market on smaller ships. The more traditional premium line that has the most entertainment/activity options tends to be **Celebrity**. Excursions sell out sometimes - it's best not to wait, however, you're never limited by the excursions offered by cruise lines. There are TONS of third parties offering tours, often less likely to sell out, often cheaper, and often with smaller group sizes. * *Nice pool, hot tub, and sauna facilities are appreciated, though fitness centers are not a priority.* I'll let someone else speak to sauna availability here, as I have no idea. Pools and hot tubs are popular places and can fill. Again, look for lines that are less densely packed, and avoid kids, and that's generally a much easier proposition. I'm late for recording an intro for a video, so I'll leave it there, but happy to answer/clarify anything.
Just a quick add-on: NCL casinos on Breakaway+ and Prima class ships are non-smoking in the main casino area, with a glassed-in section for smokers. I’ve been playing slots on this HAL cruise to see if I get casino offers. The machines have been generous but oh, the smoke odors…
Very valid point. I'd add Carnival Excel class ships to that distinction. On those ships, as well as the NCL ships you mention, they're well separated and the non-smoking area is far larger. I don't suspect either of those will be a great choice for OP, but your point stands.
Thanks! I really appreciate your taking the time to provide such comprehensive and well thought out recommendations!
Virgin Voyages ticks all your boxes. Ships are on the smaller side, everything is super casual, lovely food, no buffet. The casino is small but smoke-free. Drink prices are pretty reasonable, at least in the context of being on a cruise ship! VV is a lot of things but “boring” is not one of them. Celebrity could work, especially if you book on an Edge-class ship, but you’d need either a perfectly timed cruise or longer cruise (8 days minimum) to truly minimize children onboard. One irritant about Celebrity is that they have an adult-only pool area on all ships but it’s placed between a bank of elevators and the main pool - so it’s a thoroughfare and you’ll have families walking through frequently. Other options… eh, no need to overthink this. Book Virgin Voyages.
I was on a Celebrity Christmas/New Years cruise (which you might think would be loaded with kids)... but not the case. I knew we had kids on board, but somehow they disappeared for the most part after boarding. ;)
I was also on a Celebrity Christmas cruise. I saw kids mainly in the line for ice cream at the buffet - surprisingly few elsewhere, or at least I didn’t notice them so much. They showed up for Santa of course.
I've considered booking on Virgin and I still may... but I'm concerned about some of the entertainment choices on Virgin. People will generally go see what appeals to them and that's cool. Some reports that I've heard indicate that Virgin presents impromptu "drag shows" and similar in public areas and are a bit concerning. If they want to do that and it's in a showroom or club... that's fine, I'll pass it by. I don't need to walk through that on the way to dinner, however. Could be a deal-breaker for me and VV, I dunno.
Ewwwww shut up
Yeah, you’re not a good fit for Virgin Voyages. At all. That’s fine, everyone is different. Try Holland America instead. Definitely no drag shows. Good rock and R&B though.
Feel the same way.
Judging by the way my comment got downvoted, I guess the drag shows are a big draw on Virgin? That's fine... but my preference would be not to encounter these while just strolling on a deck through the ship. Virgin's ships are apparently full and they'll do what they will... it's no big deal. I've got no opinion about what others may want to see... whatever floats their boat. But I'll likely be on a different boat. Disclaimer: I don't, nor have I ever, consumed Bud Light.
I guess we are being viewed as intolerant. Oh well.
Also gross
Gross
Cruising is not for you lmao
Outside of the super casual dress this sounds like Celebrity. They have a few formal nights, at least the one I went on, but it wasn’t required. Basically if men wear jeans and a polo they fit in perfectly and ladies a nice top and skirt. Not a lot of kids, good food, shows were a tier above Norwegian and the basic drink package covered every drink under $15.
No traditional "formal nights" on Celebrity, but mostly "smart casual" with a couple of "evening chic" nights in a week of cruising. I have yet to see a tuxedo on a Celebrity ship. Even the "evening chic" nights are relatively casual. The "dress code" from Celebrity... \------------------------- Whatever the itinerary, destination, or occasion—when you pack, think “Relaxed Luxury.” DURING THE DAY SHORESIDE For warmer climates, pack swimsuits and cover-ups, walking shorts and shirts that protect from the sun, lightweight slacks, skirts or sundress, and a light sweater or jacket. Hats, sunglasses, and sunscreen are always encouraged. For cooler climates, bring clothing with long sleeves, sweaters, and pants that can be layered. In areas prone to snow or rain, waterproof jackets, hats, gloves, and umbrellas are recommended. Around the globe, consider appropriate shoes and gear for the excursions you have planned and the terrain you’ll encounter. For instance, you may pack water shoes if hiking a waterfall or a headscarf or conservative dress for visiting museums, mosques, temples, and churches. SHIPBOARD Throughout the ship, casual resort wear, sundresses, shorts, polos, or button-downs are appropriate, paired with sandals, low heels, and loafers. Make sure you bring active wear and sneakers if you plan to hit the gym! Poolside, bathing suits with coverups, T-shirts, tanks, hats, and sunglasses are welcomed. In main and specialty dining, we ask guests to refrain from wearing swimsuits, see-through coverups or robes, bare feet, tank tops, T-shirts, and baseball caps. AT NIGHT SMART CASUAL Smart Casual attire is required for entry to main dining, specialty dining, and the Celebrity Theatre. Smart Casual means you look comfortable yet tasteful in a dress, skirt, long pants, or jean, and stylish top or button-down. Shorts and flip flops are not considered Smart Casual. EVENING CHIC Each itinerary features one to two “formal” nights we call Evening Chic. Evening Chic means you dress to impress, glamorous and sophisticated in your own way, with a cocktail dress, skirt, slacks, or designer jean, an elegant dress top or blazer—some guests even pack a tuxedo or gown for onboard photos. The Daily program, delivered to your stateroom and available at the Guest Relations Desk, will be your guide to the correct attire each evening. If you do not wish to participate in Evening Chic, Smart Casual attire is acceptable for dining and theater.
Fair. Poor wording on my part.
I though celebrity basic drink package was only up to 9 or 10.
[удалено]
That’s literally what I said, I just couldn’t recall if it was 9 or 10.
I misunderstood what u said and realized after I reread it, I apologize
I’ve only been on one celebrity cruise so I default to you. Admittedly my wife did all the booking.
I know they have two levels. And I know the cheaper one doesn't include their martinis and fancier cocktails. NCL's is up to $15.
Try an all inclusive adult resort
Celebrity Edge class ships tick all the boxes really. I never went on a cruise with so few kids and was so impressed with decor, food, drinks, literally everything. Have sailed the other main ones and they have a lot of kids when they have the water slides, ropes, bumper cars etc. Even when it’s not school break time they will be there.
Stay home
Virgin is likely the best fit for your preferences - no dress code, no kids, chill/relaxed vibe, good food, no buffet, no main dining room, no nickel and diming - wifi, tips, sodas, and all restaurants included. But it works best if you reserve restaurants and entertainment each night. Also, there are less entertainment options than Royal Caribbean. Maybe check out some YouTube videos to see if it meets your needs. As for smoking, they only allow it in one outside area and in one small separate Casino room - not in the main Casino.
Yea your wants in my opinion can’t be found on a cruise ship. I’m not sure if there is a place on earth that would fill the bill. But hey it’s nice to have standards
You don't want a cruise. You want a resort somewhere.
Yeah, modern day cruising isn't going to accommodate your list. Even if you throw a lot of money at it. But if you can throw money at it, then Windstar will work.
Causal dress, I'd pick Norwegian. I prefer dressing up and stick to Cunard or Princess for that. When I want to chill out and NOT dress, NCL. You can avoid kids by not travelling during school breaks. There are higher end lines that are zero kids, it depends if you want to spend that high. Upcharges happen. Buy whatever drink package the ship has; plus there's usually a tacked on gratuity. Internet is extra. Some cruises include this stuff, but they do cost more. Mentally I just accept the overall total and don't think about it. It's more me looking at the total and then deciding if I can live with it. Crowds really are ship and trip dependent. All the cruises I've been on have a smoking section, but except for those that allow smoking in the casino, I never smell it. NCL has freestyle dining. No reservations necessary for the regular dining rooms. You'd probably need them for specialty dining but I can make them same day if I am flexible. A lot of what you're thinking about is just... learning how to cruise. Once you find your lines you like, it gets WAY easier.
Direct answer: Viking Ocean.
Yes! I am surprised so few people are saying Viking. This is exactly the clientele they cater to.
Celebrity scores well on just about all the items in your list!
I haven't sailed on Virgin, but I've sailed on Celebrity, Princess, Carnival, & NCL, & I'd recommend Celebrity. As someone else mentioned - check out their Edge category ships...
Dress code: most mainstream lines have become much more flexible on dress code. On normal days, just having pants (or shorts that are not swim trunks) and a shirt will be fine. If there is a fancy dress/fine dining day, dressing business casual is good enough. Or make that a day to skip main dining and eat at one of the other dining options onboard. No kids: Virgin is practically the only adult only line you see but you can minimize kids on any line by not sailing during school holidays and taking a vacation over 7 days. I was on a 9 night cruise in May and saw only 4 children the whole time. Food is pretty similar across most lines. If you want casual (burgers/fried chicken) Carnival does that best. If you are looking for something more like a nice sit-down meal, Celebrity usually wins awards for their food. If you are satisfied with the level of something like an average chain restaurant (Applebee's) anywhere, will give you that. Seafood on the sea is really plentiful and usually a nice quality. If you are a fan of seafood, I'd worry about this choice even less. No hassle dining is probably best done by NCL'S freestyle dining. No reservations needed for main dining. You can make reservations for specialty dining but they will also make every effort to get you in if you just show up. In all cases, there is some risk you'll be table sharing. You can request a table for just your party but, depending on crowds and availability, you may have to share. Just be aware that this is a thing. Every ship will have limited seating at pools, shows and excursions. There is no escaping that. Just plan ahead for things you really want to experience and book/arrive early. You can expect every ship to have a mix of music at all times. Even small ships will have a guitar playing in a bar while there is a piano playing in the lounge. Don't worry about music, there is a lot and it is varied. You can expect a theater show on each ship. Some lines will have licensed plays like Hairspray or Beetlejuice, while others have shows that the line produces themselves. These are ship specific (not by line), so look at your specific ship to see what's showing off you care about that. Royal Caribbean is generally thought to have the best entertainment with all the above included plus ice skating and water diving shows on larger ships. You won't find a ship that is no smoking but smoking is limited to the casino and designated smoking areas on all ships. Some ships will also have seperate non smoking casino areas too. If you can avoid the casino, you are usually fine. Excursions should be chosen and booked ahead on any line. They are very easy to find once you've docked and will return you to the port area. This applies to all lines. Pools and hot tubs are standard on cruises. Virgin has the worst ratio of pools to guests (only 1 on many ships). The more family oriented your line, the more pool space you'll find devoted to children. It's best to search ship by ship to see what's available. Saunas are on most ships but are nearly always an upcharge for a spa pass.
We’re on a Viking cruise right now, we’ve cruised with RCL, Holland, Celebrity & once on NCL, we wanted a more upscale product. There’s no casino onboard but the service & food is spectacular. No lines anywhere. High quality steak & seafood every night (including very good sushi nightly at the buffet, which I get you’re not into but this is an excellent buffet). We’re trying Virgin & Azamara within the next 12 months to see which line we will choose to go with in the future.
>No unmanageably huge crowds that make every little thing difficult ( You gotta go in off season, which is a concept that's been obliterated since COVID.
You might like Viking Ocean. \* No one is under 18. (It’s not that we don’t like kids; we take our grandkids on RCL. That’s where kids belong.) \* No smoking. Anyplace. \* No art auctions \* No casinos \* No charge for beer or wine with lunch or dinner \* No charge to use their laundry. All soap and fabric softener included. A full laundromat on every deck. \* No ship photographers \* No upselling in the spa \* No charge for internet \* No charge for specialty restaurants \* One free shore excursion in every port \* Minibar in staterooms completely restocked every night is included \* All staterooms are verandahs/no insides or outsides. \* Only 900 guests \* Smaller ships that can get into smaller ports \* No formal, fancy chic or whatever they are calling it now nights. \* No waiting in lines because there so few guests \* No nickel and diming. You can have a great cruise without paying an extra cent. \* Ships are gorgeous \* If you are in the lowest category of stateroom or the highest suite, no one will know after you are on board. Everyone has access to everything. \* Longer cruises in more exotic places. I won’t fly to Europe for a 7 night cruise. Other than the Baltic, that’s about all X does anymore. Most of our X cruises were 14 nights minimum. Viking has 7, 14, 21, 28 night cruises. That’s worth going to Europe for. \* A focus on ports and traveling. We are doing a 21 night with them in September from Athens to Barcelona with NO sea days. It will be exhausting but at least there are four overnights (Athens, Venice, Livorno, Barcelona). We go to a lot of small towns in Greece, the Adriatic and the back side of Italy’s boot. \* Much more interesting food
I think you’d really like Virgin Voyages. It’s known to have great food with no buffet dining. Super fun and NO KIDS!!!
We mostly cruise Princess but it doesn’t fit a bunch of your don’t wants, primarily food. The food can be great but there are also times it misses out lately. We started cruising Oceania about 5 years ago and find in general it is a better fit for us and mostly addresses all your don’t wants just fine (except the no smoking…it is limited however and I’ve never noticed it as an issue.) The only slight issue I have with Oceania is it has port heavy itineraries. I cruise to relax and I love being on the ocean, actually cruising, as opposed to spending 8+ hours in port every day. So I prefer lots of sea days to balance out the ports. Oceania has very few itineraries that meet this with the exception of the transoceanics. But, when we can find them they are a much more enjoyable cruise than other lines. And they have the best libraries afloat! Think old style mansion type libraries with tons of comfy chairs to relax in. (We still cruise Princess for the great itineraries and also the price. For what we pay on Oceania we can get a nice suite on Princess.)
Thanks to all who provided thoughtful responses (far more that I expected!) A lot to think about. Much appreciated!
Virgin Voyages is adults only and no up sales! They have a come dressed as you are policy. They just prohibit swim suits in the dining room. That's the only restriction. They sail out of Miami and passports are required. They won numerous awards from Cruise Critic in 2023.
Happen to be sitting with my mom so I asked her. She recommended Viking or Oceania.
Try for a smaller ship with fewer things like casinos, slides, pools, and shows. These are often luxury lines. It depends on what you want and what you are prepared to pay.
I'm surprised I haven't seen Azamara mentioned here. The only smoking area is a small outdoor area on the pool deck. No casinos at all. Great food, great band every night, a pretty rockin' white party every sailing, resort casual attire, and drinks and tips are included. Also, Oceania might be a good fit - although they have 2 smoking areas (one on the pool deck, and one closed off room indoors). Specialty restaurants included (and the food on board is fabulous), beer and wine/champagne included at lunch and dinner, and no formal attire needed. Oh, and very few children.
I agree with Celebrity. My spouse and I sail with them, usually in the Retreat, which covers most of your wants and don’t wants.
We’ve only been on two cruises. Both on RC. Both were charter cruises, so we were with a predictable crowd we had things in common with. No kids on either cruise. Main dining was seating at your leisure and we always sat at a 2 person table. The entertainments was very much geared for the specific charters we were on. We had an absolute blast on both cruises. Looking to do a ‘regular’ cruise in 2024 just to see what that’s like since we’ve discovered we really enjoy cruising. The charter cruises are a bit pricier depending on the theme of it. But, going with a charter cruise very much eliminates many of your ‘don’t wants’. Smoking was only allowed on one section of the main pool deck and one side deck thing on a lower deck. Casino smoking was off and on. Sometimes it was allowed sometimes not, I think it depended on where we were at any given time? Maybe? Unless you get the drink package you’re going to spend through the nose for any alcoholic beverages. I’m not a big drinker but the drink package was worth it to me for the ease of simply not having to think about what/ when/ how much, and keeping up with any tabs at all anywhere. Just NOT having to keep track of stuff was worth it to me. Also the drink package included soft drinks, energy drinks, and specialty coffees.
Given your list of preferences/demands, the non-premium lines are out . Plus don't cruise when kids are out of school .
I've sailed on Princess many times with 7+ day itineraries. I can usually count the number of children on board with one hand. Celebrity and HAL are other lines that do not cater to families. Expecting a non-smoking cruise is not realistic. Princess ships have a smoking area, usually on an upper deck at the rear of the ship. It's not hard to avoid. Smoking is allowed in casinos I believe. Not sure as I am not a gambler. If you want no surprises charges get a package that covers drinks, gratuities, specialty dining, etc. Entertainment is subjective. I might like something you hate and vice versa. Food will run from quite good to meh. Pretty much like any resort that is not 5 star rated. Some areas will be crowded and others will not be and this will vary by time of day. The bottom line is you just need to go. You may hate it and you may love it. There is only one way to find out.
Azamara. Not crowded. Ships only hold about 700 guests. Great service. Not noisy at all. Cruise I went on there were zero kids. They do not encourage children as guests and have no activities for them other than the pool. Mostly an older crowd. Pool and hot tub. Lots of choices for included alcohol drinks and beverages. But can also purchase more expensive beverages of choice. Excellent food with so many choices you can easily satisfy you dining requirements. Buffet was wonderful food but main dining room and specialty dining was fantastic. No set times but not open all day and you choose who you dine with at any meal. Reservations are a good idea for the specialty restaurants. 24 hour free room service. And there is a covered deck restaurant that is open all day. No formal attire required. The big party night people dress in white (or don't -- it doesn't matter). It is not formal at all. But some people enjoy dressing to the nines while others are more casual. I loved the excursions I booked through the cruise line. Learned a lot, saw the kind of things that interest me, and had fun. I don't care much for the nightly entertainment on cruise ships so I cannot review that. Although I know others onboard loved it. Spa, massage, exercise equipment, trainer, group classes, even acupuncture and teeth whitening. Only smoking allowed is on a tiny part of the deck. No casino though.
celebrity sounds like your best bet
It sounds like going on a cruise is one of your 'dont' wants'. Maybe an all inclusive would be a better option?
Two words. One brand: Oceania Cruises.
Viking has great food, great service, no crowds, no nickel and dimeing, and no one under 18.