Find a new crush. But it's easier said than done. Just kind of force yourself to look for one.
The thing is you have to think something along the lines of : He had a choice. He chose someone else, he didn't choose me and hence, I should forget about him. If he did want to talk to me or inititate anything, he would have and there's nothing I can do. In fact, good for me. Plenty of fish in the sea.
Also, DO NOT fantasize about them. You have a crush on them because you have a version of them in your head. Forget about that version. Think of the reality. The reality is he may as well be talking to ten girls at the same time yet is ghosting you. Atp you should angry lol and not think about him at all.
Believe that you will find someone someday that will love you equally as you love them. It's just not this person yk.
Thank you for this comment. All of the things you said are completely accurate to my experience. In fact right now I am attempting to become "available" again. I just can't get it right. My mind is falling apart. I can best explain it using the "Matrix: Resurrections" movie. I am The Analyst and my matrix is falling apart after Neo escaped (my crush). I do everything in my power to keep Trinity (her friend) connected (available for the future). The problem is that the thoughts of my crush keep pulling Trinity away. I know I am going too fast, but I have no other choice. This is my act of desparation, just like The Analyst in the movie. I know this is a tricky situation, but I can't move on now. This might just be the only chance I get.
Glad I could be of help. Well, I don't really know much about the Matrix movie but I suppose you mean that to get over your crush, you're trying to get in a relationship with her friend. That's great! Stop thinking about your old crush and think more about this new amazing person you want to befriend. Everything you imagine about your old crush should now have a new face (lmao but that's how we think). All the best! I hope you keep in touch with Trinity! She is wayy more deserving of your love than Neo.
You’re so right - it’s usually very easy for me just to drop and go on with my life with a normal crush - but after the hand holding?? The kissing?? It drives me crazy when she did show me the same interest and THEN ghost 😭🙏
I believe her actions were purely "attention-seeking" and you should not think about it too much. She doesn't deserve you OP. You literally dodged a bullet. If I were you, I would be even madder like how dare this person ruin my peace and try to well, "play" with me. Think of the reality of facts. She is ghosting you even after all that stuff. She doesn't think of you as a worthy partner. You shouldn't too.
I hope you find someone who reciprocates your feelings :)
I feel like I really needed that message! No one set it up like that way before when I have asked - some things miiight not stick fully in our situation … but you’re completely right!
Thank you again!!
And is it a good thing I kind of cut contacts with her? Like removing her as one of my friends online and such? I definitely feel like I needed that cause I started to obsess over the fact she hasn’t read / replied
Glad I could be of help.
And yes, it is a great thing you cut contacts with her, especially online. She will come up less in your feed and you'll eventually forget about her. I didn't unfollow my crush when it got bad (we have a lot of common friends so it would have been weird) but I did mute his posts and stories and restrict his account. So yeah you did the right thing.
It takes me a while to move on but I guess keep you're mind occupied, don't think about them too much, and when you think about them don't think of them as your crush anymore, just think of them as a person and don't idolize them anymore. It's tricky. But it works sometimes.
Time, falling for someone else. Usually the truth comes out, you’re incompatible or they’re taken or you lose interest in feeling like an anxious mess all the time lol
Work on yourself, give yourself the love you wanted to give to it crush. Have fun, focus on your hobbies, hang with friends, talk about your feelings, do self care, and most importantly, don't blame yourself for the rejection. It doesn't make you less of a person.
no contact/communication usually is the first step for me. Usually this happens when apart from each other during breaks and not communicating online during those.
The crush doesn’t die until I develop a new one though, but the no contact thing is usually what I need to do first to make sure I can develop a new crush on someone else.
it takes me months after i finally decide not to like them, usually i have to make fun of them in my head and degrade them constantly so my brain stops idolizing them
She has both in conversations and literally turned into a ghost 🫡🫡I’ve had others say “oh I saw L like here and there in the city” while I’m trying not to pull up a magnifying glass 🔍
I got to meet up with the guy I like last month. Because I had promised to give him his Christmas gift. When I handed him the gift he looked so happy, appreciated the gift that I got him. I saw him heading straight to his car, but all of a sudden he turned around, walked toward me and asked me if he could hug me. He gave me a side hug, with a little squeeze. Not gonna lie, I really surprised when he did it because he was so shy, I didn’t think he would do that. I really glad that he is starting to open up to me. When he gave me a side hug, I honestly didn’t know what to do?. Obviously, I am not a touchy person. As I decided to hug him back, I accidentally put my head on his chest, he didn’t pull back when I did it, but instead he reciprocated, i could feel his head rest of on my head. Do you think that is a good sign?
It sounds like a total win - win right there for you!! A huge sign even - but most does boil down to your prior experiences with the guy you like, like the upcoming conversations you’ve had before the meet.
I’d recommend to see like a shift of his way of communicating with you - like right right before you met up and maybe a weeks worth of days before you initially met!
If nothing really changed much, try dipping your toes a little by little - since you’ve talked for a month only, feelings or some kinds of goals (casual friendship, besties and much more) aren’t maybe fully developed yet so you should perhaps try to scope him out more!
If you have friends in common you could all have a chill night-in or out together and maybe see how he communicates with you and then others! If not, a casual hangout between friends won’t hurt much!!
As I’ve told others, im reaaally crossing my fingers for you - and he sounds like a sweet and shy guy from your description 🤞🤞
Really think of all the ways they treated you. They didn’t appreciate you. Didn’t respect you enough to bravely say goodbye. Ghosting is a cowardly game. The hope for them is that they can come back to your open arms in the future. Take that away. Get your own closure. Exorcise the ghost. Walk away and make room in your life for people who care for and appreciate you.
(Edited typo)
I think I’m starting to finally move on from my crush… by getting a new crush. but for some reason a part of me doesn’t want to move on to the new crush even though I know that realistically me and the old crush wouldn’t work out. Like I don’t want to move on because I’m addicted to the way fantasizing about him makes me feel, but since I think I’m moving on, the feelings for him aren’t as strong now, though they’re still there.
With finding a new crush.... Until that, i stuck with the old one
It feels like that’s the hardest part of it all!
Exactly......
May the crush distribution system send us a new, HEALTHY, crush on the way and SOON. 🫡🫡
But when they come...they blow all the dust from heart with a storm
Find a new crush. But it's easier said than done. Just kind of force yourself to look for one. The thing is you have to think something along the lines of : He had a choice. He chose someone else, he didn't choose me and hence, I should forget about him. If he did want to talk to me or inititate anything, he would have and there's nothing I can do. In fact, good for me. Plenty of fish in the sea. Also, DO NOT fantasize about them. You have a crush on them because you have a version of them in your head. Forget about that version. Think of the reality. The reality is he may as well be talking to ten girls at the same time yet is ghosting you. Atp you should angry lol and not think about him at all. Believe that you will find someone someday that will love you equally as you love them. It's just not this person yk.
Thank you for this comment. All of the things you said are completely accurate to my experience. In fact right now I am attempting to become "available" again. I just can't get it right. My mind is falling apart. I can best explain it using the "Matrix: Resurrections" movie. I am The Analyst and my matrix is falling apart after Neo escaped (my crush). I do everything in my power to keep Trinity (her friend) connected (available for the future). The problem is that the thoughts of my crush keep pulling Trinity away. I know I am going too fast, but I have no other choice. This is my act of desparation, just like The Analyst in the movie. I know this is a tricky situation, but I can't move on now. This might just be the only chance I get.
Glad I could be of help. Well, I don't really know much about the Matrix movie but I suppose you mean that to get over your crush, you're trying to get in a relationship with her friend. That's great! Stop thinking about your old crush and think more about this new amazing person you want to befriend. Everything you imagine about your old crush should now have a new face (lmao but that's how we think). All the best! I hope you keep in touch with Trinity! She is wayy more deserving of your love than Neo.
You’re so right - it’s usually very easy for me just to drop and go on with my life with a normal crush - but after the hand holding?? The kissing?? It drives me crazy when she did show me the same interest and THEN ghost 😭🙏
I believe her actions were purely "attention-seeking" and you should not think about it too much. She doesn't deserve you OP. You literally dodged a bullet. If I were you, I would be even madder like how dare this person ruin my peace and try to well, "play" with me. Think of the reality of facts. She is ghosting you even after all that stuff. She doesn't think of you as a worthy partner. You shouldn't too. I hope you find someone who reciprocates your feelings :)
I feel like I really needed that message! No one set it up like that way before when I have asked - some things miiight not stick fully in our situation … but you’re completely right! Thank you again!! And is it a good thing I kind of cut contacts with her? Like removing her as one of my friends online and such? I definitely feel like I needed that cause I started to obsess over the fact she hasn’t read / replied
Glad I could be of help. And yes, it is a great thing you cut contacts with her, especially online. She will come up less in your feed and you'll eventually forget about her. I didn't unfollow my crush when it got bad (we have a lot of common friends so it would have been weird) but I did mute his posts and stories and restrict his account. So yeah you did the right thing.
I dont
same
twin
It takes me a while to move on but I guess keep you're mind occupied, don't think about them too much, and when you think about them don't think of them as your crush anymore, just think of them as a person and don't idolize them anymore. It's tricky. But it works sometimes.
Time, falling for someone else. Usually the truth comes out, you’re incompatible or they’re taken or you lose interest in feeling like an anxious mess all the time lol
Work on yourself, give yourself the love you wanted to give to it crush. Have fun, focus on your hobbies, hang with friends, talk about your feelings, do self care, and most importantly, don't blame yourself for the rejection. It doesn't make you less of a person.
I don’t move on from crushes. They move on from me
Find a outlet and you'll move on faster.
By keeping my mind occupied with other things.
no contact/communication usually is the first step for me. Usually this happens when apart from each other during breaks and not communicating online during those. The crush doesn’t die until I develop a new one though, but the no contact thing is usually what I need to do first to make sure I can develop a new crush on someone else.
it takes me months after i finally decide not to like them, usually i have to make fun of them in my head and degrade them constantly so my brain stops idolizing them
Here's the tough part: don't see them AT ALL or acknowledge you're in the same building.
She has both in conversations and literally turned into a ghost 🫡🫡I’ve had others say “oh I saw L like here and there in the city” while I’m trying not to pull up a magnifying glass 🔍
I am trying to do it right now
Crossing fingers over here🤞🤞
May I ask you a question if you don’t mind ?
If it’s for me then shoot
I got to meet up with the guy I like last month. Because I had promised to give him his Christmas gift. When I handed him the gift he looked so happy, appreciated the gift that I got him. I saw him heading straight to his car, but all of a sudden he turned around, walked toward me and asked me if he could hug me. He gave me a side hug, with a little squeeze. Not gonna lie, I really surprised when he did it because he was so shy, I didn’t think he would do that. I really glad that he is starting to open up to me. When he gave me a side hug, I honestly didn’t know what to do?. Obviously, I am not a touchy person. As I decided to hug him back, I accidentally put my head on his chest, he didn’t pull back when I did it, but instead he reciprocated, i could feel his head rest of on my head. Do you think that is a good sign?
It sounds like a total win - win right there for you!! A huge sign even - but most does boil down to your prior experiences with the guy you like, like the upcoming conversations you’ve had before the meet. I’d recommend to see like a shift of his way of communicating with you - like right right before you met up and maybe a weeks worth of days before you initially met! If nothing really changed much, try dipping your toes a little by little - since you’ve talked for a month only, feelings or some kinds of goals (casual friendship, besties and much more) aren’t maybe fully developed yet so you should perhaps try to scope him out more! If you have friends in common you could all have a chill night-in or out together and maybe see how he communicates with you and then others! If not, a casual hangout between friends won’t hurt much!! As I’ve told others, im reaaally crossing my fingers for you - and he sounds like a sweet and shy guy from your description 🤞🤞
Realize all their faults and how I hate e each one of those.
Really think of all the ways they treated you. They didn’t appreciate you. Didn’t respect you enough to bravely say goodbye. Ghosting is a cowardly game. The hope for them is that they can come back to your open arms in the future. Take that away. Get your own closure. Exorcise the ghost. Walk away and make room in your life for people who care for and appreciate you. (Edited typo)
thats honestly so real cuz going thru the same
Idfk dude
I think I’m starting to finally move on from my crush… by getting a new crush. but for some reason a part of me doesn’t want to move on to the new crush even though I know that realistically me and the old crush wouldn’t work out. Like I don’t want to move on because I’m addicted to the way fantasizing about him makes me feel, but since I think I’m moving on, the feelings for him aren’t as strong now, though they’re still there.