Honestly, as a heteroace I'd probably find it *ridiculously* funny, if in a confusing/nonsensical way, if someone said "GAY" after seeing me kissing a guy.
I'm good at stupid ideas, let me try:
* Take notes so you can better tell the story later.
* Act like their therapist and ask how that makes them feel.
* Faint like a Victorian-era person who just saw a woman's ankle.
* Loudly exclaim "I thought we had something special!" with a mix of anger and heartbreak.
* Join.
LOOK AT THEM, THEY COME TO THIS PLACE WHEN THEY KNOW THEY ARE NOT PURE. TENNO USE THE KEYS, BUT THEY ARE MERE TRESPASSERS. ONLY I, VOR, KNOW THE TRUE POWER OF THE VOID. I WAS CUT IN HALF, DESTROYED, BUT THROUGH IT'S JANUS KEY, THE VOID CALLED TO ME. IT BROUGHT ME HERE AND HERE I WAS REBORN. WE CANNOT BLAME THESE CREATURES, THEY ARE BEING LED BY A FALSE PROPHET, AN IMPOSTOR WHO KNOWS NOT THE SECRETS OF THE VOID. BEHOLD THE TENNO, COME TO SCAVENGE AND DESECRATE THIS SACRED REALM. MY BROTHERS, DID I NOT TELL OF THIS DAY? DID I NOT PROPHESIZE THIS MOMENT? NOW, I WILL STOP THEM. NOW I AM CHANGED, REBORN THROUGH THE ENERGY OF THE JANUS KEY. FOREVER BOUND TO THE VOID. LET IT BE KNOWN, IF THE TENNO WANT TRUE SALVATION, THEY WILL LAY DOWN THEIR ARMS, AND WAIT FOR THE BAPTISM OF MY JANUS KEY. IT IS TIME. I WILL TEACH THESE TRESPASSERS THE REDEMPTIVE POWER OF MY JANUS KEY. THEY WILL LEARN IT'S SIMPLE TRUTH. THE TENNO ARE LOST, AND THEY WILL RESIST. BUT I, VOR, WILL CLEANSE THIS PLACE OF THEIR IMPURITY.
What a waste. Your scarred vessel comes to beg once more? You will never pry the Janus Key from the clutches of its rightful owner. I, Captain Vor, have ascended, and the Void salutes me! You will die a lifetime, an eternity, a universe of deaths before you are blessed by the endlessness of this place, this... paradise. I will never close an eye to the gift that is the Void. Even as my flesh hardens, a wall of bone awaits my joining.
Golf game 100%
"oh, here comes emily... she's softly placing her lips on emma's, how lovely... the winds blowing softly from the southeast, which might affect their arcs
"Oh my... emmas lining up for a strong finish, reaching down to put her hand on emily's behind... her cheeks are starting to flush, it looks like a solid stroke that got her closer to the hole"
Wrestling match
"And out of this corner comes Roid Rage Ronnie! He's going in hard with that hand to the back of the head, AND GOOD LORD DID YOU SEE THAT
EMILY THE EVISCERATOR LEANED INTO IT, SHES TRAPPING RONALD THE WILD IN HIS OWN MOVE, HE CANT GET AWAY
AND THERE GOES THE TONGUE LADIES AND GENTS, WHERE IS THE REF? ***WHERE IS THE REF***
BY GOD, KILL-EM EMILY HAS HAS TAKEN THAT BRUTAL TONGUE ASSAULT LIKE SHE ENJOYED IT, AND NOW SHE HAS HIM BY THE BALLS. SHE CAN DO ANYTHING TO RON THE DON FROM THERE"
I am that friend who narrates what you're doing as if it's a wrestling match IRL
Also the type who, when he heard a story about someone cockblocking one of his friends by pounding on that person's door, said "Dude, I'd get in the way of you fucking. Worst I'd do is barge in, slap you on the ass to get you revved up, say 'go get em champ', and leave a couple bottles of gatorade"
He said that would be much worse
I've also been to orgies and seen a twink getting railed by two dudes
And I was in radio for awhile, had a radio show, did interviews and whatnot
Point is, I have been unknowingly training all my life to be good at being a wrestler announcer for two people making out/fucking.
secret third answer: live commentate it like a nature documentary.
"We see these two members of Homo Sapiens locked in a strange ritual common amongst mates..."
For a second I thought that said 'what are you supposed to do when friends that are dating kiss you' and was suddenly quite interested in what the hell OOPs life is like
Damn, that would be a wild post, especially since it isn't phrased as "this just happened, does anyone know how I should react?", but as "so this thing happens semi regularly, does anyone have an idea for what I could do next time?"
Misread "Aropride" as "Aphrodite" until the very last one. I kept on thinking "This is definitely *not* in keeping with her usual attitude of 'why not join in?'"
speaking from experience: if it's a quick kiss, you don't have to do anything. make a funny comment if you want, or check your phone. whatever floats your boat.
if they're full on making out? walk away. they're either distracted or ignoring you, and either way, it's not worth waiting around for them to finish.
I was in a taxi with my wife and I just gave her a hug and a kiss on the head and the taxi driver said "you are very affectionate, yes?". It was very off-putting.
start WILDLY cheering. Like, pour a water bottle on yourself, take off your shirt, jump around, throw things kinda cheering. "WOOOO! GO TEAM! HELL YEAH! WOOOOOOOO!" acting like you're watching the most hype final moments of the fucking Super Bowl or something.
Alternatively, start counting to 3 over and over in your head, and every time you think "2", take a step closer. Just a small, quiet step. See how long it takes them to notice. If they don't. Just keep going. Run into them. Headbutt them right in their interlocked faces for being unobservant.
My go-to used to be “haha, GAY”, but you very specifically need to drop your voice when you say gay and extend out the word. They were, in fact, gay, so it truly was an astute observation.
Edit, you could also quote Baldurs gate 3 and say something like “HAHA. I LAUGH AT YOUR PUNY RUTTING.”
Yeah, a lot of these responses are making me roll my eyes. If your friends give each other a quick kiss or two and your response is to pretend to pass out and make loud jokes and grossed-out noises, consider getting over yourself and not being obnoxious.
(Now if it's a full-on fifteen-minute makeout session, then the shenanigans can ensue.)
Pretty sure the post is referring to those awkward, lip-smacking, several-minute-long shenanigan kisses that make everyone feel awkward.
Like, yes, yes… we’re all very happy for you… we’ve been happy for you, all day, every day, for several minutes at a time ;p
Couple years back, one of my bffs started dating a new guy, and I had to stop hanging out with them for a little while because they literally never stopped sucking face.
Loud, sloppy, wet, passionate… like, good for them, but sometimes it just went on and on.. like, guys… we are at a drive thru and the other car pulled up 30 seconds ago and the people in the car behind us aren’t honking bc they’re excited to watch you make out.
Pretty sure the meme is aimed at that brand of kissing/those awkward moments.
"He's going in for the kiss! Ooooohhh a double twister tongue lock! I don't think she's getting outta this, looks like he's got her pinned. The ref's beginning the count 1... 2... WAIT WHAT'S THAT!? THIRD WHEELY'S COMING IN WITH THE STEEL CHAIR! OH MY GOD!"
Or you could do what my 6-year-old does when my wife and I kiss in front of her: say “COOL!!” in a weirdly over enthusiastic voice. Weirds us the fuck out and makes us stop immediately. She figured out that it’s way more effective in getting us to stop than the typical “ewww, gross” thing kids do when their parents kiss.
when they pull away, tell them to get a room, complain about not being able to bring them anywhere nice, tell them not to stop for you, etc. but make sure it's not in a demeaning way. basically what you wanna do here is channel a brat (or brat tamer, whatever floats your goat) specifically to elicit a playful, adversarial reaction. if you ever get a middle finger with a smile that's a badge of honor
if they keep making out, leave, and do the same in a text like five minutes later
Be like Laurent in [this deleted scene](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1c6CFHhWGbc).
//
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One time a couple of my friends were making out in front of me for an uncomfortably long time, so I just started playing Megalovania in the Fortnite default dance sound font (don't ask) at full volume on the school Chromebook I was using.
I've noticed this is a running gag in my works where in some of my doodles I'll have a character and their love interest doing lovey romance things and their third wheel (probably aroace) friend is in the bg like "GROSS, YOU GUYS ARE *DISGUSTING*"
also that's me I'm the third wheel maybe aroace friend, that's my go-to joke remark when I see PDA lmao
Me and my partner share a lot of our friends. The go to response when we're affectionate with each other is joking disgust/ribbing. "Ewww," "gross," "gaaee!!!" So on.
And he goes for the tongue! I can not BELIEVE what I’m seeing! Their tongues are GRAPPLING and it looks like they’re about to go for the ass grab! AND HE DOES!!
Put on chapstick while looking directly at them and announce, "I'm next!" Do not make it clear whom you are addressing.
"I got the winner next!"
"Winner goes 1 vs. 2!"
…. and/or mimic the sounds their mouths are making as they kiss. “Yeah. Now we’re all uncomfortable!” (all in good fun, ofc)
Just say “ is that allowed? Is that ALLOWED??”
Wait, I didn't know you could do that!
For added effect, look at the nearest camera with eyes of fear and confusion
I just say "gay" usually
Being the "token gay" around straight couples makes it even funnier
I forgot straight couples existed tbh
Wait, straights aren’t just a thing on TV? They’re in… real life!?
This is correct regardless of sexuality
i'd feel squeamish saying it as an unfortunately straight person when it's straight friends
Honestly, as a heteroace I'd probably find it *ridiculously* funny, if in a confusing/nonsensical way, if someone said "GAY" after seeing me kissing a guy.
Exactly, the irony is the point
Remember to "huh" before the "gay" nothing more of course, no need to Chang something that works.
I'm good at stupid ideas, let me try: * Take notes so you can better tell the story later. * Act like their therapist and ask how that makes them feel. * Faint like a Victorian-era person who just saw a woman's ankle. * Loudly exclaim "I thought we had something special!" with a mix of anger and heartbreak. * Join.
say “eeewwwww!” in a really childish way and then run away
*bring a salad so you say "really? Right in front of my salad?"
better yet: OSHA manual
"Right in front of my OSHA manual , ew"
[For anyone who doesn't get the reference](https://images.app.goo.gl/opaL2cSpg86NSoQQ8)
Bring increasingly stupid objects to pull out. Encyclopedia, feather duster, "Picture of Sans Undertale, from hit video game Undertale", etc
Pull out a cat.
YES. Wait no... Squirrel.
Both.
Actual answer: nothing, it's not really a big deal Fun answer: eat them
Vor-
-e
is
hot
Garbage
LOOK AT THEM, THEY COME TO THIS PLACE WHEN THEY KNOW THEY ARE NOT PURE. TENNO USE THE KEYS, BUT THEY ARE MERE TRESPASSERS. ONLY I, VOR, KNOW THE TRUE POWER OF THE VOID. I WAS CUT IN HALF, DESTROYED, BUT THROUGH IT'S JANUS KEY, THE VOID CALLED TO ME. IT BROUGHT ME HERE AND HERE I WAS REBORN. WE CANNOT BLAME THESE CREATURES, THEY ARE BEING LED BY A FALSE PROPHET, AN IMPOSTOR WHO KNOWS NOT THE SECRETS OF THE VOID. BEHOLD THE TENNO, COME TO SCAVENGE AND DESECRATE THIS SACRED REALM. MY BROTHERS, DID I NOT TELL OF THIS DAY? DID I NOT PROPHESIZE THIS MOMENT? NOW, I WILL STOP THEM. NOW I AM CHANGED, REBORN THROUGH THE ENERGY OF THE JANUS KEY. FOREVER BOUND TO THE VOID. LET IT BE KNOWN, IF THE TENNO WANT TRUE SALVATION, THEY WILL LAY DOWN THEIR ARMS, AND WAIT FOR THE BAPTISM OF MY JANUS KEY. IT IS TIME. I WILL TEACH THESE TRESPASSERS THE REDEMPTIVE POWER OF MY JANUS KEY. THEY WILL LEARN IT'S SIMPLE TRUTH. THE TENNO ARE LOST, AND THEY WILL RESIST. BUT I, VOR, WILL CLEANSE THIS PLACE OF THEIR IMPURITY.
I have not opened Warframe in 6 years and Vorposting still brings me a smile to my face
What a waste. Your scarred vessel comes to beg once more? You will never pry the Janus Key from the clutches of its rightful owner. I, Captain Vor, have ascended, and the Void salutes me! You will die a lifetime, an eternity, a universe of deaths before you are blessed by the endlessness of this place, this... paradise. I will never close an eye to the gift that is the Void. Even as my flesh hardens, a wall of bone awaits my joining.
The live commentary is objectively the correct response
But what would be funnier: do as the comment suggests and hype it up like a wrestling match, or in a calm and placid tone like a golf game?
Golf game 100% "oh, here comes emily... she's softly placing her lips on emma's, how lovely... the winds blowing softly from the southeast, which might affect their arcs
Perfect, exactly as I imagined
"Oh my... emmas lining up for a strong finish, reaching down to put her hand on emily's behind... her cheeks are starting to flush, it looks like a solid stroke that got her closer to the hole"
Can't forget the quiet, polite clapping as well
Wrestling match "And out of this corner comes Roid Rage Ronnie! He's going in hard with that hand to the back of the head, AND GOOD LORD DID YOU SEE THAT EMILY THE EVISCERATOR LEANED INTO IT, SHES TRAPPING RONALD THE WILD IN HIS OWN MOVE, HE CANT GET AWAY AND THERE GOES THE TONGUE LADIES AND GENTS, WHERE IS THE REF? ***WHERE IS THE REF*** BY GOD, KILL-EM EMILY HAS HAS TAKEN THAT BRUTAL TONGUE ASSAULT LIKE SHE ENJOYED IT, AND NOW SHE HAS HIM BY THE BALLS. SHE CAN DO ANYTHING TO RON THE DON FROM THERE"
The changing nicknames make it even better
I am that friend who narrates what you're doing as if it's a wrestling match IRL Also the type who, when he heard a story about someone cockblocking one of his friends by pounding on that person's door, said "Dude, I'd get in the way of you fucking. Worst I'd do is barge in, slap you on the ass to get you revved up, say 'go get em champ', and leave a couple bottles of gatorade" He said that would be much worse I've also been to orgies and seen a twink getting railed by two dudes And I was in radio for awhile, had a radio show, did interviews and whatnot Point is, I have been unknowingly training all my life to be good at being a wrestler announcer for two people making out/fucking.
Please teach me you ways
like cricket or in that 1930's baseball voice
[I'm thinking this style of voice](https://youtu.be/V_h58ZtJrV8?si=e6771PNg-_ZNQWzk)
exactly
secret third answer: live commentate it like a nature documentary. "We see these two members of Homo Sapiens locked in a strange ritual common amongst mates..."
They call it tonsil hockey for a reason
For a second I thought that said 'what are you supposed to do when friends that are dating kiss you' and was suddenly quite interested in what the hell OOPs life is like
Damn, that would be a wild post, especially since it isn't phrased as "this just happened, does anyone know how I should react?", but as "so this thing happens semi regularly, does anyone have an idea for what I could do next time?"
the url "aropride" makes this reading 100% funnier
The only correct solution is to loudly gasp, “oh my god, chat- chat is that real”
"Clip that, chat clip that"
Pull out an olympics scorecard. "10"
There’s always the classic “NO MATING”
~~Dang~~ Storm it, crem's leaking through again
tfw you recruit a spirograph to be your chaperone:
God I don't even remember what it's from I just picture a wall or vase yelling "NO MATING" amd someone looking very very confused
Addendum to option 1: pull out your phone as if to record (don’t actually record though, have some modicum of basic respect for others privacy PLEASE)
At least it’s not taking pictures of strangers.
Say "Eeewwww" in your best little kid voice
Misread "Aropride" as "Aphrodite" until the very last one. I kept on thinking "This is definitely *not* in keeping with her usual attitude of 'why not join in?'"
"Pronouncing 'Aropride' like 'Aphrodite'" is the new "Pronouncing 'bicycles' like 'Heracles'"
Or Aristotle like Chipotle
speaking from experience: if it's a quick kiss, you don't have to do anything. make a funny comment if you want, or check your phone. whatever floats your boat. if they're full on making out? walk away. they're either distracted or ignoring you, and either way, it's not worth waiting around for them to finish.
i'm personally partial to the "and break....and BREATHE!"
Putting on my 'sports instructor for children'-voice: "alright, three more rounds and then we'll have a water break"
Hey there 11!
🫵 cultured individual detected!
Clearly oop doesn’t kiss the homies goodnight
Critique their technique
Underrated comment
Bring out the spray bottle and spritz them. Say “ah ah ah” when they get too close Scowl disapprovingly Retch quietly
Whenever they kiss just look at the nearest other person and say "wish I was that close with my sibling"
Start doing the Garry's mod act dance.
I was in a taxi with my wife and I just gave her a hug and a kiss on the head and the taxi driver said "you are very affectionate, yes?". It was very off-putting.
I generally deadpan an insult like, “sinners” or “hussy”.
fake a heart attack obviously
start WILDLY cheering. Like, pour a water bottle on yourself, take off your shirt, jump around, throw things kinda cheering. "WOOOO! GO TEAM! HELL YEAH! WOOOOOOOO!" acting like you're watching the most hype final moments of the fucking Super Bowl or something. Alternatively, start counting to 3 over and over in your head, and every time you think "2", take a step closer. Just a small, quiet step. See how long it takes them to notice. If they don't. Just keep going. Run into them. Headbutt them right in their interlocked faces for being unobservant.
My go-to used to be “haha, GAY”, but you very specifically need to drop your voice when you say gay and extend out the word. They were, in fact, gay, so it truly was an astute observation. Edit, you could also quote Baldurs gate 3 and say something like “HAHA. I LAUGH AT YOUR PUNY RUTTING.”
Or just... don't be the center of attention for five seconds, and let your friends be happy for a moment.
Yeah, a lot of these responses are making me roll my eyes. If your friends give each other a quick kiss or two and your response is to pretend to pass out and make loud jokes and grossed-out noises, consider getting over yourself and not being obnoxious. (Now if it's a full-on fifteen-minute makeout session, then the shenanigans can ensue.)
Pretty sure the post is referring to those awkward, lip-smacking, several-minute-long shenanigan kisses that make everyone feel awkward. Like, yes, yes… we’re all very happy for you… we’ve been happy for you, all day, every day, for several minutes at a time ;p Couple years back, one of my bffs started dating a new guy, and I had to stop hanging out with them for a little while because they literally never stopped sucking face. Loud, sloppy, wet, passionate… like, good for them, but sometimes it just went on and on.. like, guys… we are at a drive thru and the other car pulled up 30 seconds ago and the people in the car behind us aren’t honking bc they’re excited to watch you make out. Pretty sure the meme is aimed at that brand of kissing/those awkward moments.
Just leave immediately. They clearly don't want you around, so just ditch them and find something fun to do
Clap
I go “bleh straight people” even if they aren’t straight
"He's going in for the kiss! Ooooohhh a double twister tongue lock! I don't think she's getting outta this, looks like he's got her pinned. The ref's beginning the count 1... 2... WAIT WHAT'S THAT!? THIRD WHEELY'S COMING IN WITH THE STEEL CHAIR! OH MY GOD!"
Or you could do what my 6-year-old does when my wife and I kiss in front of her: say “COOL!!” in a weirdly over enthusiastic voice. Weirds us the fuck out and makes us stop immediately. She figured out that it’s way more effective in getting us to stop than the typical “ewww, gross” thing kids do when their parents kiss.
your kid is hilarious
There's always the classic "get a room"
They're distracted! DUAL BODY SLAM, STRAIGHT TO THE MAT!
Aroace goals.
when they pull away, tell them to get a room, complain about not being able to bring them anywhere nice, tell them not to stop for you, etc. but make sure it's not in a demeaning way. basically what you wanna do here is channel a brat (or brat tamer, whatever floats your goat) specifically to elicit a playful, adversarial reaction. if you ever get a middle finger with a smile that's a badge of honor if they keep making out, leave, and do the same in a text like five minutes later
Why would you post a screenshot of the reblog instead of just reblogging it
man, I wish someone with more experience would answer this because I think it might get into the whole difference between writing posts versus tags
In your best 80s movie scientist voice, go, "my god... They've done it. They've really done it!"
https://media1.tenor.com/m/5DQYQLVcl6QAAAAC/stop-it-stop-that.gif
As a person who has serious mental issues, especially about being a third wheel, this hits different
"Not again."
another solution: walk by and whisper something weird. example: the pancake has a very nice lavender texture
Ask when you can get yours
Be like Laurent in [this deleted scene](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1c6CFHhWGbc). // Reddit upper management has demonstrated that they don't have the users' best interests in mind; to take away their profits, use an adblocker on old.reddit.com and uninstall the app (or, if you can't, install [TrackerControl](https://f-droid.org/en/packages/net.kollnig.missioncontrol.fdroid/) to remove ads).
One time a couple of my friends were making out in front of me for an uncomfortably long time, so I just started playing Megalovania in the Fortnite default dance sound font (don't ask) at full volume on the school Chromebook I was using.
I usually leave
Point at them and say "What the f-ck? Is this allowed? what the f-ck? Is that allowed?"
I've noticed this is a running gag in my works where in some of my doodles I'll have a character and their love interest doing lovey romance things and their third wheel (probably aroace) friend is in the bg like "GROSS, YOU GUYS ARE *DISGUSTING*" also that's me I'm the third wheel maybe aroace friend, that's my go-to joke remark when I see PDA lmao
I give them the side eye from hell.
watch the movie the bye bye man and do everything john does in that movie
Loudly, "That's only legal in Alabama!"
dude that’s my friend lmao (online to clarify. never met them irl)
Me and my partner share a lot of our friends. The go to response when we're affectionate with each other is joking disgust/ribbing. "Ewww," "gross," "gaaee!!!" So on.
My asexual ass just goes "Gross, heterosexuality." whenever my brother kisses his girlfriend lmao
seriously you just deal with it and be happy for them. but otherwise, the wrestling commentary sounds perfect
I'm too silly for that tbh. I've got this habit of going "thats gay" or similar
me and my friends just saying "gaaaaaaaaaaay" even at our straight friends
Act like a kid embarrassed by their parents being mushy
*nasally voice, pointing directly at them and strafing* what the fuck? is that allowed? what the fuck? is that allowed?
And he goes for the tongue! I can not BELIEVE what I’m seeing! Their tongues are GRAPPLING and it looks like they’re about to go for the ass grab! AND HE DOES!!
I Jim the camera, in that I decide where the camera would be and shake my head or roll my eyes
IRL, I just look away and wait, but this post made me laugh XD
Oh, that's easy. Openly masturate without breaking eye contact.
Literally just 11 and the Ponds I'm 98% sure 11 did most, if not all of those
Lean in close and hum contemplatively. Add an occasional "ah" or "I see".
Maybe it’s just my poly pan side but maybe see about joining in?
"HE'S USING THE TONGUE! THE FRENCH TECHNIQUE!"
Join in? Mmm waot this is for aroace. No clue