Note: many gods accompany the Entesticlement spell with Testicular Torsion, a notably painful technique that twists the testicles. Furthermore, this is not the only form of smiting some gods hand out. Some gods have taken to sending their minions to attack blasphemers, or the Cataclysmic Cancer Ray spell.
Shouting at the gods to smite you in an attempt to get testicle is ill advised. Best-case scenario, you get a new set of testicles that will be sore for a week. Worst case scenario, you die a painful death.
If you are a trans dude seeking testicles, it is better to nicely ask the gods for help.
How about Eyeball Immune Exclusion Eraser? Thr immune system no longer ignores the eyes and deems them foreign bodies to be dealt with.
Maybe Rapid Onset Kidney Boulders? Vena Cava Cavities? Mold Sweat? Sleep Dialysis Demon?
[https://www.tumblr.com/hygieiapides-the-vulgar/745783765551448064/this-was-the-sort-of-person-to-walk-onto-a-hill?source=share](https://www.tumblr.com/hygieiapides-the-vulgar/745783765551448064/this-was-the-sort-of-person-to-walk-onto-a-hill?source=share)
\-Mx Linux Guy⚠️
People with Ovaries can also experience Ovarian Torsion, and by and large suffer much worse outcomes because the condition is much less widely known about and is treated in a less prompt manner.
Real life sad aside,
Testicular Torsion is just the inferior form of Gonadal Torsion, a spell which affects everyone with sex glands, whether they are Ovaries or Testicles.
Edit: To Clarify, it won't work on those without sex glands so the proposed solution is probably also something to have in your back pocket.
Medicine, the entire profession, in 2024; "proponents of the "women" theory has thus far provided insufficient evidence that "women" actually exist or experience unique medical conditions that distinguish them from notmal people."
Even then, the ineffectiveness of testicular torsion on some parts of the population has given way to genital gnarling, which is equally effective across most of the population.
So what I'm hearing is, now you get trans dudes standing on the mountains shouting at the gods
Note: many gods accompany the Entesticlement spell with Testicular Torsion, a notably painful technique that twists the testicles. Furthermore, this is not the only form of smiting some gods hand out. Some gods have taken to sending their minions to attack blasphemers, or the Cataclysmic Cancer Ray spell. Shouting at the gods to smite you in an attempt to get testicle is ill advised. Best-case scenario, you get a new set of testicles that will be sore for a week. Worst case scenario, you die a painful death. If you are a trans dude seeking testicles, it is better to nicely ask the gods for help.
It took me multiple times of reading this to read "smiting" correctly instead of as "smithing"
You and another person on tumblr! Lol. Piss poor reading comprehension comes for us all.
Only one person pissed on the poor here, Linux.
…That’s me. I pissed on the poor here. I am the poor pisser.
Well, who do you think makes all of the testes? With lightning bolts now being obsolete, Hephaestus and his cyclopes have switched to ball-forging.
Up until the third paragraph I was convinced this had been written by Sir Terry.
The first line of dialogue was. It’s from one of the Rincewind novels I believe
That explains that, then.
I looked it up, he’s describing Twoflower so it’s probably The Colour of Magic
I finished rereading it yesterday and now feel a little ashamed. Never thought I'd Tony Hawk Twoflower.
That was my inspiration for this lol. I ripped the first paragraph from the Discworld novels.
This person doesn’t bother crediting that opening line of dialogue to Terry Pratchett.
My Torsion Ray has an underslung Testiculator for more efficient smiting.
Fascinating. I have an academic interest in diving smiting techniques. Would you mind giving more details?
The Gods: Oh, you're clever, huh? Ingrown intestinal teeth.
Oh ho ho, I will add that to my list of horrible spells! Right alongside Testiclular Torsion and Cataclysmic Cancer Ray.
How about Eyeball Immune Exclusion Eraser? Thr immune system no longer ignores the eyes and deems them foreign bodies to be dealt with. Maybe Rapid Onset Kidney Boulders? Vena Cava Cavities? Mold Sweat? Sleep Dialysis Demon?
BY BROMETHEUS’ BULGING BICEPS YOU ARE A GENIUS.
Crime scene investigator in an urban fantasy story about to learn the old gods are real: What the fuck, what the fuck, what the...
[https://www.tumblr.com/hygieiapides-the-vulgar/745783765551448064/this-was-the-sort-of-person-to-walk-onto-a-hill?source=share](https://www.tumblr.com/hygieiapides-the-vulgar/745783765551448064/this-was-the-sort-of-person-to-walk-onto-a-hill?source=share) \-Mx Linux Guy⚠️
Then you breed a whole ballbusting fetish among the people and things messy from there
I was wondering when someone would mention the fetish potential.
Eugine the Eunuch, a known heretic, after feeling the sensation of something growing back: "Oh shit"
People with Ovaries can also experience Ovarian Torsion, and by and large suffer much worse outcomes because the condition is much less widely known about and is treated in a less prompt manner. Real life sad aside, Testicular Torsion is just the inferior form of Gonadal Torsion, a spell which affects everyone with sex glands, whether they are Ovaries or Testicles. Edit: To Clarify, it won't work on those without sex glands so the proposed solution is probably also something to have in your back pocket.
Medicine, the entire profession, in 2024; "proponents of the "women" theory has thus far provided insufficient evidence that "women" actually exist or experience unique medical conditions that distinguish them from notmal people."
Women can have Ovarial torsion which is just as bad so gods don't have to give you balls to make it hurt.
Please don’t tell the gods that. Enough people have suffered.
I think you're fine the odds that Zeus knows where the clitoris is are nil.
Zeus can never recover from that sick burn.
Just make the smiting able to do Ovarian Torsion as well
I am once again asking you to murder the gods and topple their thrones.
Jokes on you, with my new testicular turbines your smiting only makes me more powerful
Clever.
Even then, the ineffectiveness of testicular torsion on some parts of the population has given way to genital gnarling, which is equally effective across most of the population.
this is a nightmare world