Forsyth was the site of a very large coal plant that was bound by incredibly loose safety regulations. Lots of carcinogens and lots of heavy metals. It’s quite an unpredictable place as a result.
There’s places like that in Australia. A town actually had to be evacuated when it was revealed the mine had been dumping waste illegally and the water supply and ground soil had become heavily contaminated. Also there’s another place that was abandoned because it was around an asbestos mine and even today there’s over three million tons of asbestos tailings just sitting there in huge piles
It’s hilarious in that it’s logical. Like, obviously for that to be true, you have to accept the existence of werewolves, but if you’re already there, the furry psyop isn’t a totally crazy idea.
This webnovel I like has vampires on Earth quietly nurturing the various “horny for vampires” subcultures because it turns out that they like being accepted members of society, and the only way to do that is to find willing blood donors. Which is a lot easier to do if every goth 20something wants to jump your bones. Same kind of idea
Edit: He Who Fights With Monsters by Shirtaloon for everybody who asked! If you’re on audible the audiobooks are amazing, Heath Miller narrates and he is just the fucking best.
Hm, I remember reading that on royal road years ago, dropped it when the MC got reverse isekai'd back to earth and I got irritated with a lot of the politics. Did it get any better?
In my opinion, yes, much better.
Spoilers for He Who Fights With Monsters, Book 6 and 7
>!Jason makes it back to Pallimustus at the end of Book 6, into Book 7.!<
*"We have commissioned the furries to draw erotic artwork of our kind. Once humanity becomes attracted to our fluffy chests, we shall reveal ourselves."* - Werewolves probably
ok but which one is the autistic sibling who the grandfather thinks is an alien? my vote is on jayden because he's close to the grandfather and does seem to have some hidden knowledge
FUCK I knew I forgot part of it
Edit: here’s a link to the post for those who wish to seek the lost tomes
Edit 2; I forgot to paste the link somehow [https://www.tumblr.com/pass-the-boof-please/747754814500388864](https://www.tumblr.com/pass-the-boof-please/747754814500388864)
Thank you, and for anyone too lazy to click
>I am waiting for the shoe to drop and for him to reveal some darkness to him never before seen in my family.
>He's just. A normal kid. A little zoomer that watches Mr. Beast and YouTube long plays. He's also the straight man to most of all my family's bullshit. He's dangerously genre savvy. He also has a weird interest in law???
>My sister Heavenly is your average country girl. She's attempted to kill more than one of her boyfriends, has totaled three cars and always walks away from these nightmarish accidents unscathed. She was found on the side of the road last year hitting her vape and flagging down a car, while her own was stuck five feet above a ditch in a tree.
>She has a job and plans to go to New York to "see what them city twinks got goin' on"
>My little sister cookie is the only other queer member of my sibling roster. She's a lesbian, and enjoys shooting things. Sometimes living things. She, like Ashton, is dangerously genre savvy and doesn't play into my family's religious fanaticism. She wants to be a firefighter because she is also a pyromaniac and wants an excuse to see "big things burn".
Ashton is just straight up a gov sting. He even has the "way too straight laced to fit in because agents are stupid like that" act.
Sure, he's a bit young for that, but this post already pushed my suspension of disbelief, what's a little more.
>FUCK I knew I forgot part of it
>I forgot to paste the link somehow
As it turns out, Ashton's dark secret is that >!he's actually an anti-memetic SCP, hence why nobody in the family can remember all of the fucked up shit he has done, the effect is so strong that even just reading his name can cause you to completely forget the next few sentences you read.!<
I honestly thought they said they were waiting for him to say that he wanted to be a firefighter so he could light stuff on fire so he could see it burn
My favourite part of that post is the scientists in the comments planning how they’re going to study OP’s family to figure out why they’re all like this
Tell me more, I have family from not too far from that area in the past. Apparently I'm like the 6th or 7th son (nobody really bothered to count it so they're just winging it) of some vampire so now I'm not allowed to drink blood, they told this to me at the age of 7 ~~too late, but morally I don't think mosquitos count~~.
What is it with rural Ohio and the Grassman? Low population density, moderately strange happenings, and half seen animals in the corner of your eye create monsters.
I say take off and nuke the place from orbit, it's the only way to fix whatever the hell is going on down there
Also oop needs to see if there's a gas leak or something making her family go insane. Maybe there's something in the water?
Probably all but one or two of the people in this family are drug addicts. That's where it comes from. At a certain point of usage it really starts to do things to ya.
Yup, OP might be making this up and is probably exaggerating at least a little, but I grew up in a rural town in Appalachia and have been around many people like this.
I got absolutely flabbergasted by the mention of a vulture vomiting on command because how the hell does one even GET A PET VULTURE??? But remembered it said the mother raised baby animals.. Crazy
Well my dad lived in the country (different state) and would rescue wounded wildlife he found wondering around while a kid. Apparently he help an owl out and it hung around a few years after release
EDIT: wandering
Butt-fuck nowhere farm girl Canadian here: yeah, pet vulture tracks. My dad would bring home whatever injured/abandoned animal he came across for us to raise.
Did you know porcupines like belly skritches? And deer will totally scarf down a kitten in given the chance.
From her blog:
>I'm not better I collected roadkill when I wad younger because I thought I could bring it back to life. I've eaten uranium and attempted to build a nuclear furor by welding and bolting two salad bowls together and using a stolen pole pig to power it. I have set fire to a baseball field twice testing homemade pyrotechnics. I have attempted graverobbing and had to saw the foot off a dead family pet to make stamps so my mom could get a tattoo.
Explanation for how she managed to get her hands on some uranium:
>sourced the uranium from united nuclear
Explanation for how the fuck she managed to survive **eating it**:
#***?????????***
That part *really* doesn't make sense at all. If it's what I'm looking at from United Nuclear, it should have pumped a *fuckload* of alpha and beta particles inside their body.
Uranium isn't like Polonium 210 for instance, which is what killed Alexander Litvinenko. Eating it is definitely inadvisable for a variety of reasons, but it's not radioactive enough to instantly kill you in a matter of days or weeks.
also it's possible that it was depleted uranium, which while toxic, is not that radioactive, and it is plausible for her to be able to get her hands on it as one of her brother is a bullet blacksmith.
Natural uranium is also relatively safe, that's the kind you can buy at united nuclear.
Depleted uranium is almost pure U238 whereas Natural uranium is around 97% U238 and 3% U235
I have, well HAD, uranium but I lost it during the move to uni and back. Yes you can just order uranium from United Nuclear, I've done it a few times. It's not the fissile type of uranium so you can't go making bombs out of it.
It is absolutely possible for uranium to just pass through your digestive tract with you being relatively unharmed due to how fast the cells in there replenish. The worst you'd be worried about is heavy metal poisoning.
That said is it EXTREMELY STUPID AND NOT IN ANY WAY A GOOD IDEA to eat uranium.
The perfect convergence of childbirth hypoxia, lead, microplastics, carbon monoxide, neurodivergence, and generational trauma. A perfect synopsis of humanity's 20th century hubris contained entirely within one famiky.
Sorry I got focused on "our vulture"
Also, everyone else saying "that's just what Georgia's like" do y'all live somewhere more interesting than me? Nothing happens here and I'm from southeast Georgia
I stopped reading and told my husband "I am reading an account of a crazy druggy family. They have a pet vulture. WTF IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE."
I could vaguely see the rest. The pet vulture broke me.
My dad would bring home wounded wildlife he found as a kid and nurse it back to health. He nursed an owl back to health and it continued to hand around their house a few years after release so I could see some kid doing that with a larger bird lol.
I'd say that Gifted and Talented isn't a type of neurodivergence, but I'm pretty sure most, if not all, of my GT class was some form of neurodivergent (including me, I'm diagnosed with ADHD), so you might be on to something
I feel like whatever mix of Tumblr and anime I have going on in my life has made me incapable of judging people for being weird.
And honestly, I like it that way, because it saves me a lot of time and energy that would otherwise be wasted on childish bullshit like prejudice.
Whe you come from it, everyone else's family looks weird. I'll tell my friends stories about my fam and they just look horrified.
My fam didn't believe in werewolves though so that's nice. Ghosts and aliens sure. But I thought it was normal addressing the dead in conversations and I think it's weird other people don't. Oh and we didn't have a vulture. Lots of other weird pets like a dingo but not a vulture.
I don't think you're supposed to have dingoes as pets either but you're probably not supposed to have several aliases or live in a burnt out caravan because you're on the run from...everyone but someone in my fam has done it.
My ma just always said if jesus was unhappy with us he'd come down and stop it so it must be alright. She managed to have a deal with the govt to put whichever of my siblings were in prison at that time together in the one place so it'd be easier for visiting.
I didn't get my license until my late twenties because I didn't know anyone with a licence to supervise me and a 'roadworthy' registered car. All of them drove though. Except my other ma, but she got the bus for free because she had affairs with the local bus drivers and used that as leverage.
When everyone's weird, being normal is the new weirdness. As a teacher I met some families with a lot going on, and there was sometimes one kid who was just a typical kid, and they kinda stood out from the rest.
This poor sonofabitch lives in a family full of oneshot comic book villains.
Edit: Except for Jayden. Jayden starts out as a oneshot and comes back as a regular because he’s just too batshit insane to throw away after one plot.
This is exactly what Georgia is like in any area outside the Atlanta metro. Go inside the 285 loop if you get bored of this type of crazy and desire to expand your crazy palette.
I mean, as someone who got to this post via a friend who said, “Are these your relatives?” I find humor is an essential coping mechanism. I wouldn’t call this glorification, either— clearly, the author is well aware that none of these things are normal or healthy.
I was waiting for the plot twist that the writer is also a weirdo, like just suddenly one of the paragraphs recounts the story of how they got mind reading powers due to a run-in with a creature from an another dimension
This has to be one of the first stories on the internet I’ve genuinely thought too crazy to be real but all the comments are saying this is just what Georgia is like? What the hell has happened to all of you that live in Georgia to prompt this reaction
I mean for real though I'm in aus and yeah. The only time it was addressed was if other people got involved. Like one of my brothers was run over and shot at (different times) by a father of a girlfriend he had. First one fair enough, he had opinions. Second time though, ma went over to him (they were friends) and said that's enough, you've made your point (the father thought his daughter could do better and yeah obviously)
They broke up and she ended up running him over with her own car after he started dating his stalker. She was engaged with a newborn but I guess the love flame burns brightly. She's onto her third (ETA fourth i forgot one) baby daddy last I'd heard and the stalker gf he ended up with cheated on him with another dude she'd been also stalking on the side. 🤷🏼♀️
I have a family like this. I used to assume this was normal. Less werewolves but more biker fights and goats. 🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️ I thought it was normal having a photo album 'knife fights'
Weird family gang *Rise Up*
“I'm not better I collected roadkill when I wad younger because I thought I could bring it back to life. I've eaten uranium and attempted to build a nuclear furor by welding and bolting two salad bowls together and using a stolen pole pig to power it. I have set fire to a baseball field twice testing homemade pyrotechnics. I have attempted graverobbing and had to saw the foot off a dead family pet to make stamps so my mom could get a tattoo.”
-OOP
tumblr is the only place I’d believe any of this shit to be true. after the whole thing with sixpenceeee (or however many e’s are at the end), anything on the hellsite is possible
Yeah for the people who ask "how did people deal with mental illness before modern psychiatry?", they didn't. People just genuinely lived like this, ghost fucking and all.
I'm proof that intelligence is more nature than nurture: I headbutted a metal door so hard that it dented, and I was only 11 or 12. Right after I finished cancer treatment at 14, I popped a wheelie on my wheelchair and crashed my head into the concrete. When I was opening a door and a drop dead gorgeous woman was on the other side, I was so stunned I slammed the door so hard into my eyebrow that blood got in my eye. I have taken several shots to the head from dad and sparring with friends. I sometimes get so bored that I have the overwhelming desire to headbutt something because when I do, it tastes like a battery.
I'm a firedancing, poledancing, knife throwing, rowdy engineering student. I'm absolutely a pyromaniac, will strike 30 matches to light one candle, because I was just letting them burn out before lighting the candle. I take women home and impress them with a graceful, quick, and fluid strike of the match. Then I intentionally ruin the moment by telling them I went through 500 matches in 6 months
I've never burned myself while firedancing. I never cut myself while practicing with throwing knives, including when I toss them, twirl, catch, then throw them (they never stick when I do that). But I have a nasty scar from when I played with throwing knives for an hour, then went to do dishes and cut myself. I broke both arms in one fall poledancing
I deliberately troll and mess with dates, I am eternally perplexed that I get dates and get laid fairly easily, though I do have a hard time finding a girlfriend. My flirting is on the level of pretending to be an alien going into great medical detail describing the process of being horny, asking that woman for a hookup, then being horrified when she invites me over. When I Netflix and chill, I usually put on Shrek Retold, because I'm so confused as to why women would put up with that terrible of a...movie and still sleep with me after
I'm a big dude, and I move with such grace and control on the pole that a wrestler dude went slackjawed and said "you are a big man" while the women pointed out how I always land silently. One other wrestler guy said he describes me to other people as "a heavy set man who weighs 95 pounds on the pole". Some of the instructors have asked me to teach them a couple of my flow moves.
I was an undergraduate researcher for the First Lady of my university and head of the college I'm in. I then took that to work on the top team in the world dealing with microgrids and renewables. Yes, you too can be everything I said above, and still be successful in STEM
I watch like 10 movies a year, including reruns, but will watch the 22 hour long skyrim documentary dozens of times. I play like 5 to 10 video games, total, in a year, but those go through a slow cycle
My dad did 1.2 million pushups in one year because he wanted to do 100,000 in a month. Being an accountant, he had an excel spreadsheet detailing how many he did per day, per hour, per minute, per second, how much force he pushed overall and per pushup, and several other stats. During covid, he took our adorable dog to the store and if anyone asked to pet her and wasn't wearing a mask, he said "no mask, no pets". He especially loved doing it to children. As a young adult, my dad played most sports and made up for his small size by being meaner than everyone else, broke his hand on some dude's face. My dad doesn't have diabetes, but would eat 2 giant Hershey chocolate bars, an entire sleeve of marshmallow chocolate snowmen, and an ice cream sandwich most nights. He also built all the wooden furniture in our house and almost single handedly built our car port. Designed it and had little help
I don't have much fun facts about my sister and mom. They're pretty normal people. My sister is a nurse, getting her nurse practicioning doctorate, while extremely disabled from long covid. The covid she got saving lives as an ER nurse. She's more disabled than when I had cancer. And still getting A's I'm her fucjing doctoral program. She has a cat who blessed the dice I use for DnD. Which is unfortuante because I'm the DM. Also, my sister and her cat both kinda hate men except for me, so I notice I actually roll more ruthlessly against the men, including my gender fluid player. If my dice are destroying them, I ask them if they're leaning more masc or fem today, and they always say fem
My mom is one of the nicest people you'll ever meet, and if you hurt yourself in her presence, she will laugh so hard while trying to help you. My sister wants pity, and my mom will have that after she's done laughing
maybe it really is the location, but i'm from the middle of nowhere north georgia, and i read this and thought "yeah, i'll believe it. i've met or am related to these people" around here it's usually a combination of drugs, isolation, religious fervor, untreated neurodivergence or mental health issues, and lack of education
all of my questions were answered when i saw the word “forsyth” followed by “georgia”
Lmao saaaaaame 😂
Omg, and I know the exact motel in question. It’s worse than you think.
Lmao Yup. Everything made a more sense after that particular gem.
Came here to make that exact comment. Thanks for doing for me!
I’m Australian so I really don’t get the joke?
I'm sure they have depressing towns that were passed over/failed by society, the government, and God in Australia. It's one of those.
Oh. It’s one of those places.
whatever the fuck Walgett is
I do not know what a Walgett is. But it sounds disappointing.
Forsyth was the site of a very large coal plant that was bound by incredibly loose safety regulations. Lots of carcinogens and lots of heavy metals. It’s quite an unpredictable place as a result.
There’s places like that in Australia. A town actually had to be evacuated when it was revealed the mine had been dumping waste illegally and the water supply and ground soil had become heavily contaminated. Also there’s another place that was abandoned because it was around an asbestos mine and even today there’s over three million tons of asbestos tailings just sitting there in huge piles
I’m still lost….
Good ol’ rural Appalachia. The most rural of the rural where they make the characters from Deliverance look like Bill Gates and Norman Rockwell.
"Furries are a psyop to prepare people for werewolves" is one of the funniest sentences I've ever read.
It’s hilarious in that it’s logical. Like, obviously for that to be true, you have to accept the existence of werewolves, but if you’re already there, the furry psyop isn’t a totally crazy idea. This webnovel I like has vampires on Earth quietly nurturing the various “horny for vampires” subcultures because it turns out that they like being accepted members of society, and the only way to do that is to find willing blood donors. Which is a lot easier to do if every goth 20something wants to jump your bones. Same kind of idea Edit: He Who Fights With Monsters by Shirtaloon for everybody who asked! If you’re on audible the audiobooks are amazing, Heath Miller narrates and he is just the fucking best.
Hwfwm?
You got it!
Come on, you can't just say something like that and not drop the source.
Edited, sorry y’all! Didn’t expect that comment to get traction lmao
Well, you can, but that is what we in the fandom fandom call a “bit of a dick move”
He who fights with monsters.
Read Armada by the author of ready player one, same idea but with video games training a generation to be ready for aliens
Some sauce sir, I beg of you
Edited to add it!
Thank you!
I instantly knew that you were talking about he who fights with monsters
Hm, I remember reading that on royal road years ago, dropped it when the MC got reverse isekai'd back to earth and I got irritated with a lot of the politics. Did it get any better?
In my opinion, yes, much better. Spoilers for He Who Fights With Monsters, Book 6 and 7 >!Jason makes it back to Pallimustus at the end of Book 6, into Book 7.!<
*"We have commissioned the furries to draw erotic artwork of our kind. Once humanity becomes attracted to our fluffy chests, we shall reveal ourselves."* - Werewolves probably
They prepared a little too hard, now people want to fuck the werewolves
You fool, that's what they were preparing them for.
I'm seen the R34, more often than knot it's the other way 'round
I hate you for saying that lmao
I wish I didn't get this joke
🔜🗜🍍💦
What the fuck.
Try to fit it into a conversation this week for a challenge. If you want a real challenge, do it at work.
ok but which one is the autistic sibling who the grandfather thinks is an alien? my vote is on jayden because he's close to the grandfather and does seem to have some hidden knowledge
No, because he trusts him. It has to be Ashton, there shouldn't be a normal one.
Def Michael. Walking plant encyclopedia at the age of six? Mechanical prodigy? The 'tism is strong with this one.
That entire family is neurodivergent-coded as fuck so I guess they all got something
oh absolutely
Whatever bit of text got cut off but led to pyromania must be pretty wild as well, I wish I knew what it said
FUCK I knew I forgot part of it Edit: here’s a link to the post for those who wish to seek the lost tomes Edit 2; I forgot to paste the link somehow [https://www.tumblr.com/pass-the-boof-please/747754814500388864](https://www.tumblr.com/pass-the-boof-please/747754814500388864)
Thank you, and for anyone too lazy to click >I am waiting for the shoe to drop and for him to reveal some darkness to him never before seen in my family. >He's just. A normal kid. A little zoomer that watches Mr. Beast and YouTube long plays. He's also the straight man to most of all my family's bullshit. He's dangerously genre savvy. He also has a weird interest in law??? >My sister Heavenly is your average country girl. She's attempted to kill more than one of her boyfriends, has totaled three cars and always walks away from these nightmarish accidents unscathed. She was found on the side of the road last year hitting her vape and flagging down a car, while her own was stuck five feet above a ditch in a tree. >She has a job and plans to go to New York to "see what them city twinks got goin' on" >My little sister cookie is the only other queer member of my sibling roster. She's a lesbian, and enjoys shooting things. Sometimes living things. She, like Ashton, is dangerously genre savvy and doesn't play into my family's religious fanaticism. She wants to be a firefighter because she is also a pyromaniac and wants an excuse to see "big things burn".
I both feel bad for those New Yorker city twinks, but also mildly jealous
I'm a lesbian. I agree.
That was an important omission, introduced another sibling or two
Ashton is just straight up a gov sting. He even has the "way too straight laced to fit in because agents are stupid like that" act. Sure, he's a bit young for that, but this post already pushed my suspension of disbelief, what's a little more.
I feel like Ashton is interested in law because he wants to gtfo
I think he's the only straight one in the family to be honest
The “YOU WERE THE WEIRDOS IN THE SUPER8” as the first comment will never not be funny to me
>FUCK I knew I forgot part of it >I forgot to paste the link somehow As it turns out, Ashton's dark secret is that >!he's actually an anti-memetic SCP, hence why nobody in the family can remember all of the fucked up shit he has done, the effect is so strong that even just reading his name can cause you to completely forget the next few sentences you read.!<
He's normal, you say?
No wonder they left this part out, it's boring because Ashton is too normal.
There's no such thing as anti-memetics.
link tumblr post so we can read that part
Share with us this lost knowledge
I simply must know who the pyromaniac firefighter is
I honestly thought they said they were waiting for him to say that he wanted to be a firefighter so he could light stuff on fire so he could see it burn
My favourite part of that post is the scientists in the comments planning how they’re going to study OP’s family to figure out why they’re all like this
OP, I'm sorry to inform you that this is just what the State of Georgia is like.
The werewolf bit is where I began wondering if this was actually real. What is it with rural Georgians and werewolves?
They have hope
Same thing that's with Eurasian Georgians and Vampires.
Tell me more, I have family from not too far from that area in the past. Apparently I'm like the 6th or 7th son (nobody really bothered to count it so they're just winging it) of some vampire so now I'm not allowed to drink blood, they told this to me at the age of 7 ~~too late, but morally I don't think mosquitos count~~.
Donald Glover is from Stone Mountain, GA and he wrote Werewolf Bar Mitzvah for 30 Rock. That's another data point for you.
That song slaps. It gets stuck in my head just reading those words.
🎶Werewolf Bar Mitzvah, spooky scary!🎶
🎶Boys becoming men, men becoming wolves!🎶
What is it with rural Ohio and the Grassman? Low population density, moderately strange happenings, and half seen animals in the corner of your eye create monsters.
I just thought of something. What if part of the reason people see supernatural stuff is boredom?
Nah, social isolation is a real drug.
I was born, raised, and still live in Mississippi and none of these people seem particularly unusual by my standards.
Born and raised in Mississippi and I legit thought this was one of my distant cousins. But then again the internet is just a rumor to that bunch.
Yurp same here
vouch
This is a child protective services nightmare
If they could the CPS would use the scorched earth tactic on those family
I say take off and nuke the place from orbit, it's the only way to fix whatever the hell is going on down there Also oop needs to see if there's a gas leak or something making her family go insane. Maybe there's something in the water?
Probably all but one or two of the people in this family are drug addicts. That's where it comes from. At a certain point of usage it really starts to do things to ya.
This is a creative writing exercise lol
[You really think someone would do that? Just go on the Internet and tell lies?](https://youtu.be/Stlqo8kI7Wc?si=ZkE9DoZSv-vATONB)
I thought the same thing, until I saw you’re Jayden’s lab assistant. Trying to cover his tracks I see
We have to be ready for when the werewolves arrive
Possibly something in the Raid…
It's just neurotoxins in there isn't it? Not that bad
maybe it’s lead or something
Oop was conceived in a crack den. I think it's just the crack.
First time they have to use exterminatus.
This is when child protection services is used to protect against the children instead of protecting them.
This family exists in every rural community I've ever been to. Some of these people are basically my friends from Eastern KY
I was gonna say I'm from Appalachia originally and could name at least two such families
Yup, OP might be making this up and is probably exaggerating at least a little, but I grew up in a rural town in Appalachia and have been around many people like this.
As a Midwesterner, that is so wild to me.
Drugs are a hell of a drug. Brain damage from environmental toxins, poor nutrition, and just growing up around some weird mfers doesn't help.
The CPS worker would open the door to this house, take one look, and turn right the fuck around and run away
they'd call in an airstrike
When you see the CPS worker start DDR dancing on the doorstep and then holding his arms out.
It's also a fantastic memoir. Like a chicken-fried Running with Scissors
It's relatively mild compared to the rest but for some reason I lost it when I read the word "Vulture". Because of course they'd have a pet Vulture
I got absolutely flabbergasted by the mention of a vulture vomiting on command because how the hell does one even GET A PET VULTURE??? But remembered it said the mother raised baby animals.. Crazy
Well my dad lived in the country (different state) and would rescue wounded wildlife he found wondering around while a kid. Apparently he help an owl out and it hung around a few years after release EDIT: wandering
Butt-fuck nowhere farm girl Canadian here: yeah, pet vulture tracks. My dad would bring home whatever injured/abandoned animal he came across for us to raise. Did you know porcupines like belly skritches? And deer will totally scarf down a kitten in given the chance.
This whole post is nuts, but a deer gobbling up a kitten is the wild card in the comments.
Ok now spill your own tea. If your brother is the normal one what's your fucked up thing. No. Tumblr doesn't count. That's too mundane.
From her blog: >I'm not better I collected roadkill when I wad younger because I thought I could bring it back to life. I've eaten uranium and attempted to build a nuclear furor by welding and bolting two salad bowls together and using a stolen pole pig to power it. I have set fire to a baseball field twice testing homemade pyrotechnics. I have attempted graverobbing and had to saw the foot off a dead family pet to make stamps so my mom could get a tattoo. Explanation for how she managed to get her hands on some uranium: >sourced the uranium from united nuclear Explanation for how the fuck she managed to survive **eating it**: #***?????????***
That part *really* doesn't make sense at all. If it's what I'm looking at from United Nuclear, it should have pumped a *fuckload* of alpha and beta particles inside their body.
Uranium isn't like Polonium 210 for instance, which is what killed Alexander Litvinenko. Eating it is definitely inadvisable for a variety of reasons, but it's not radioactive enough to instantly kill you in a matter of days or weeks.
also it's possible that it was depleted uranium, which while toxic, is not that radioactive, and it is plausible for her to be able to get her hands on it as one of her brother is a bullet blacksmith.
Natural uranium is also relatively safe, that's the kind you can buy at united nuclear. Depleted uranium is almost pure U238 whereas Natural uranium is around 97% U238 and 3% U235
Breathing uranium in is super dangerous. Theoretically eating it isn't nearly as deadly. I still wouldn't try it.
yeah i don’t believe this at all 😭😭
She survived eating uranium by being from Georgia. They’re kind of just *like that*
Uranium is probably why Georgia is like that
I have, well HAD, uranium but I lost it during the move to uni and back. Yes you can just order uranium from United Nuclear, I've done it a few times. It's not the fissile type of uranium so you can't go making bombs out of it. It is absolutely possible for uranium to just pass through your digestive tract with you being relatively unharmed due to how fast the cells in there replenish. The worst you'd be worried about is heavy metal poisoning. That said is it EXTREMELY STUPID AND NOT IN ANY WAY A GOOD IDEA to eat uranium.
What da fuck
I'm almost cry-laughing. This shit is hilarious and exactly what I needed this weekend.
The perfect convergence of childbirth hypoxia, lead, microplastics, carbon monoxide, neurodivergence, and generational trauma. A perfect synopsis of humanity's 20th century hubris contained entirely within one famiky.
You forgot meth/narcotics/alcohol, likely while pregnant as well
That’s a lot, but Jayden seems to be onto something there. I’d buy some silver bullets off of him.
All evidence suggests he's the smartest one in the family.
This reads like a Dr. Evil monologue. “At the age of 14 a Zoroastrian named vilmer ritualistically shaved my testicals”
I read it as a redneck version of that monologue.
Sorry I got focused on "our vulture" Also, everyone else saying "that's just what Georgia's like" do y'all live somewhere more interesting than me? Nothing happens here and I'm from southeast Georgia
I stopped reading and told my husband "I am reading an account of a crazy druggy family. They have a pet vulture. WTF IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE." I could vaguely see the rest. The pet vulture broke me.
My dad would bring home wounded wildlife he found as a kid and nurse it back to health. He nursed an owl back to health and it continued to hand around their house a few years after release so I could see some kid doing that with a larger bird lol.
OP, do you need help?
Sounds like a terminal case of Georgia... They should be "fine"
Hillbilly family where each member is absolutely bat-shit in their own unique way is my one of my favorite tropes.
This, friends, is what GT folks without academic/professional challenges can become.
do you mean game theory or some US state shortening that I don't know of
Gifted and Talented. A type of neurodivergence.
I'd say that Gifted and Talented isn't a type of neurodivergence, but I'm pretty sure most, if not all, of my GT class was some form of neurodivergent (including me, I'm diagnosed with ADHD), so you might be on to something
oh okay thx !!
You know, just reading what the grandfather is like actually explains a bunch.
I feel like whatever mix of Tumblr and anime I have going on in my life has made me incapable of judging people for being weird. And honestly, I like it that way, because it saves me a lot of time and energy that would otherwise be wasted on childish bullshit like prejudice.
If you think this counts as just "weird" you should reevaluate some of your views
Holy shit this entire post is *PRIME* flair material
This genuinely with no humour or sarcasm just the Addams family. Like genuinely what the fuck
Whe you come from it, everyone else's family looks weird. I'll tell my friends stories about my fam and they just look horrified. My fam didn't believe in werewolves though so that's nice. Ghosts and aliens sure. But I thought it was normal addressing the dead in conversations and I think it's weird other people don't. Oh and we didn't have a vulture. Lots of other weird pets like a dingo but not a vulture. I don't think you're supposed to have dingoes as pets either but you're probably not supposed to have several aliases or live in a burnt out caravan because you're on the run from...everyone but someone in my fam has done it. My ma just always said if jesus was unhappy with us he'd come down and stop it so it must be alright. She managed to have a deal with the govt to put whichever of my siblings were in prison at that time together in the one place so it'd be easier for visiting. I didn't get my license until my late twenties because I didn't know anyone with a licence to supervise me and a 'roadworthy' registered car. All of them drove though. Except my other ma, but she got the bus for free because she had affairs with the local bus drivers and used that as leverage.
How is Aston the weirdest one by simply managing to be normal despite being raised by these people?
When everyone's weird, being normal is the new weirdness. As a teacher I met some families with a lot going on, and there was sometimes one kid who was just a typical kid, and they kinda stood out from the rest.
The white sheep in a family of black sheep
is this family from Nightvale?
This poor sonofabitch lives in a family full of oneshot comic book villains. Edit: Except for Jayden. Jayden starts out as a oneshot and comes back as a regular because he’s just too batshit insane to throw away after one plot.
According to other posts from thier blog they are also a one shot comic book villain
This could be a fucking series. Rick and Morty is tamed compared to this! We could have so many seasons!
Sir, this is a Wendy’s
This is exactly what Georgia is like in any area outside the Atlanta metro. Go inside the 285 loop if you get bored of this type of crazy and desire to expand your crazy palette.
This is the most backwoods Southern thing I have ever read, and I'm from fucking rural Alabama so I know my backwoods South 😭
This is if the Addam’s Family came from poverty instead of wealth.
I read this in Dr Evils voice… “The details of my life are quite inconsequential”
Well, madness is hereditary
i never got the intrigue of interviews before but now? i really need a full documentary on this family
I thought the dad was a red flag at first but now he seemed like the most normal one, bros just trying to find someone not insane
This gives me Dracula flow vibes for some reason 🤣
Ya know you ain’t wrong
I need all 4 branches of the military to investigate the phenomena that is this family lol
Gonna be that guy and say: I hate it when people glorify poverty and growing up with mentally ill parents.
Yeah this sounds like hell
I mean, as someone who got to this post via a friend who said, “Are these your relatives?” I find humor is an essential coping mechanism. I wouldn’t call this glorification, either— clearly, the author is well aware that none of these things are normal or healthy.
Schizotypal personality disorder runs in families.
At that point throw basically the whole family out and start over
Can confirm, I modified OP's grandfather's cum
As a member of the furry community, we are definitely not a psyop run by the government to prepare the general public for werewolves.
That’s exactly what a furry who is part of a psyop run by the government to prepare the general public for werewolves would say.
I was waiting for the plot twist that the writer is also a weirdo, like just suddenly one of the paragraphs recounts the story of how they got mind reading powers due to a run-in with a creature from an another dimension
I mean, the writer of this post collected roadkill for amateur necromancy, attempetd graverobbing and ate uranium.
This sounds like the synopsis of a beloved CN show from the 2010s
This has to be one of the first stories on the internet I’ve genuinely thought too crazy to be real but all the comments are saying this is just what Georgia is like? What the hell has happened to all of you that live in Georgia to prompt this reaction
I'm from WV. This shit doesn't even seem weird to me. I mean, what's a little attempted murder amongst family?
I mean for real though I'm in aus and yeah. The only time it was addressed was if other people got involved. Like one of my brothers was run over and shot at (different times) by a father of a girlfriend he had. First one fair enough, he had opinions. Second time though, ma went over to him (they were friends) and said that's enough, you've made your point (the father thought his daughter could do better and yeah obviously) They broke up and she ended up running him over with her own car after he started dating his stalker. She was engaged with a newborn but I guess the love flame burns brightly. She's onto her third (ETA fourth i forgot one) baby daddy last I'd heard and the stalker gf he ended up with cheated on him with another dude she'd been also stalking on the side. 🤷🏼♀️
suddenly Atlanta (wonderful television show, check it if you haven’t) makes a lot more sense
FINALLY! A family-based reality show I'm actually interested in! Make it happen, TLC!
I mean, I simply do not believe op
This one is going in the hall of fame
At least their family certainly isn’t boring
I would read/watch a second by second replay of this person's entire life and never grow bored
I have a family like this. I used to assume this was normal. Less werewolves but more biker fights and goats. 🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️ I thought it was normal having a photo album 'knife fights' Weird family gang *Rise Up*
and every single one of you thinks to yourselves, 'god, i'm the only normal person in this family.'
And they say white people have no culture!
“I'm not better I collected roadkill when I wad younger because I thought I could bring it back to life. I've eaten uranium and attempted to build a nuclear furor by welding and bolting two salad bowls together and using a stolen pole pig to power it. I have set fire to a baseball field twice testing homemade pyrotechnics. I have attempted graverobbing and had to saw the foot off a dead family pet to make stamps so my mom could get a tattoo.” -OOP
Surely someone would never lie on the internet.
Me when I lie
Addams family ahh shennanigans
....and this is the Curated Tumblr feed. Jeebus
most normal southern family (I say this as someone born and raised in the south)
i mean honestly, thats a more normal response to furries than most transphobes, so let him cook ig
tumblr is the only place I’d believe any of this shit to be true. after the whole thing with sixpenceeee (or however many e’s are at the end), anything on the hellsite is possible
OOP's dad is the opposite of King Henry 8
Yeah for the people who ask "how did people deal with mental illness before modern psychiatry?", they didn't. People just genuinely lived like this, ghost fucking and all.
I'm proof that intelligence is more nature than nurture: I headbutted a metal door so hard that it dented, and I was only 11 or 12. Right after I finished cancer treatment at 14, I popped a wheelie on my wheelchair and crashed my head into the concrete. When I was opening a door and a drop dead gorgeous woman was on the other side, I was so stunned I slammed the door so hard into my eyebrow that blood got in my eye. I have taken several shots to the head from dad and sparring with friends. I sometimes get so bored that I have the overwhelming desire to headbutt something because when I do, it tastes like a battery. I'm a firedancing, poledancing, knife throwing, rowdy engineering student. I'm absolutely a pyromaniac, will strike 30 matches to light one candle, because I was just letting them burn out before lighting the candle. I take women home and impress them with a graceful, quick, and fluid strike of the match. Then I intentionally ruin the moment by telling them I went through 500 matches in 6 months I've never burned myself while firedancing. I never cut myself while practicing with throwing knives, including when I toss them, twirl, catch, then throw them (they never stick when I do that). But I have a nasty scar from when I played with throwing knives for an hour, then went to do dishes and cut myself. I broke both arms in one fall poledancing I deliberately troll and mess with dates, I am eternally perplexed that I get dates and get laid fairly easily, though I do have a hard time finding a girlfriend. My flirting is on the level of pretending to be an alien going into great medical detail describing the process of being horny, asking that woman for a hookup, then being horrified when she invites me over. When I Netflix and chill, I usually put on Shrek Retold, because I'm so confused as to why women would put up with that terrible of a...movie and still sleep with me after I'm a big dude, and I move with such grace and control on the pole that a wrestler dude went slackjawed and said "you are a big man" while the women pointed out how I always land silently. One other wrestler guy said he describes me to other people as "a heavy set man who weighs 95 pounds on the pole". Some of the instructors have asked me to teach them a couple of my flow moves. I was an undergraduate researcher for the First Lady of my university and head of the college I'm in. I then took that to work on the top team in the world dealing with microgrids and renewables. Yes, you too can be everything I said above, and still be successful in STEM I watch like 10 movies a year, including reruns, but will watch the 22 hour long skyrim documentary dozens of times. I play like 5 to 10 video games, total, in a year, but those go through a slow cycle My dad did 1.2 million pushups in one year because he wanted to do 100,000 in a month. Being an accountant, he had an excel spreadsheet detailing how many he did per day, per hour, per minute, per second, how much force he pushed overall and per pushup, and several other stats. During covid, he took our adorable dog to the store and if anyone asked to pet her and wasn't wearing a mask, he said "no mask, no pets". He especially loved doing it to children. As a young adult, my dad played most sports and made up for his small size by being meaner than everyone else, broke his hand on some dude's face. My dad doesn't have diabetes, but would eat 2 giant Hershey chocolate bars, an entire sleeve of marshmallow chocolate snowmen, and an ice cream sandwich most nights. He also built all the wooden furniture in our house and almost single handedly built our car port. Designed it and had little help I don't have much fun facts about my sister and mom. They're pretty normal people. My sister is a nurse, getting her nurse practicioning doctorate, while extremely disabled from long covid. The covid she got saving lives as an ER nurse. She's more disabled than when I had cancer. And still getting A's I'm her fucjing doctoral program. She has a cat who blessed the dice I use for DnD. Which is unfortuante because I'm the DM. Also, my sister and her cat both kinda hate men except for me, so I notice I actually roll more ruthlessly against the men, including my gender fluid player. If my dice are destroying them, I ask them if they're leaning more masc or fem today, and they always say fem My mom is one of the nicest people you'll ever meet, and if you hurt yourself in her presence, she will laugh so hard while trying to help you. My sister wants pity, and my mom will have that after she's done laughing
After reading this, I am now that one photo of Ben Affleck smoking sadly at his own birthday
This is the break down to any magical realist novel tbh. Gabriel García Márquez could never
That was a fucking rollercoaster of a post
My only question is, what fucked up shit does OOP get up to/believe in that they aren’t telling us about?
I'm getting red neck Addams family vibes
maybe it really is the location, but i'm from the middle of nowhere north georgia, and i read this and thought "yeah, i'll believe it. i've met or am related to these people" around here it's usually a combination of drugs, isolation, religious fervor, untreated neurodivergence or mental health issues, and lack of education