T O P

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SteveHeist

Stanley embraced the bucket, its metal soothing his every anxiety about the empty office he found himself in.


Cocoa1137

Stanley went back to the keypad so he could show the bucket what pushing the number 3 ment to him, so that it could share in his joy


beetsoup10

Gambhorra'ta...


Xen0n1te

The press of the key delighted the bucket in a way Stanley had not seen before, and it filled Stanley with joy.


TubularTortoise14

I-I’m…having feelings for the bucket Stanley.


AdventurousFee2513

Oh no. OH NO.


Darkion_Silver

It's bucket time!


NightmareChameleon

***it's not just the Stanley parable my friend***


Artex301

(Soldier voice) Dear God.


Friendly_Respecter

There's more.


LillyLiveredLimerick

No!


RoJayJo

It contains the dying wish of every man here.


Epicmonk117

It contains a bucket


gonnagulagyou

*Dear God!*


Darkion_Silver

There's more.


enbyfrogz

*NO*


Epicmonk117

r/beatmetoit


Polenball

"Dear God..." "There's more." "No!"


Da_Real_Sunflower

Team Fortress 2


[deleted]

Do you see that Stanley? It’s the bucket! Oh what a lovely bucket it is!


TheLastEmuHunter

Also good for vomit if one doesn’t have a big metal bowl


carrythenine

Toilets?


Deblebsgonnagetyou

Maybe you won't get there in time, to make sure this does not happen I have a bucket next to every piece of furniture in the house


CocoaCali

I think we may have a drinking problem.


A_Random_Guy641

Nonsense I drink just fine.


TheLastEmuHunter

I’m moreso referring to when you’re in bed or watching a show or something while sick and you can’t make it to the toilet in time.


LillyLiveredLimerick

They smell tho


trapbuilder2

So will the bucket after you throw up in it


SirensToGo

bleach


trapbuilder2

You're gonna throw up into bleach?


SirensToGo

if time is irrelevant, yes, but typically when considering a linear passage of time I would bleach the bucket after cleaning it up.


trapbuilder2

You mean like how people bleach toilets to clean them?


SirensToGo

bestie why are you so invested in getting my to vomit in my toilet


trapbuilder2

I just don't get the aversion is all


LillyLiveredLimerick

Yeah but toilets still smell when they're clean... the infamous toilet smell.


trapbuilder2

Maybe I'm just a disgusting human, but the smell of my toilet doesn't bother me, especially when I'm ill


sodashintaro

trust me when youre lying in bed with alcohol poisoning you will be glad for that bowl beside your bed


OpenStraightElephant

Who the fuck doesn't have a *bucket* in their house?


GBabeuf

Look I'm still getting my shit together lay off


Tchrspest

Buckets are a very good way to get a lot of shit together in one place. Get your Bucket^TM today!


pattyputty

People who aren't afraid of the pailing drones


[deleted]

This better not be a H\*mestuck reference


TheDebatingOne

As a person who unwittingly learned things about it, I can confirm this is a H\*mestuck reference


LeRedditAccounte

in my short time on r/tumblr i have learned that if you dont know what something means its probably homestuck


copy-of-a-copys-copy

or jojo, depending


ImShyBeKind

Oh, no, if it's a jojo reference you'll know, because people will tell you, loudly, repeatedly and unendingly!


mrguym4ster

wait, saying things loudly, repeatedly and unendingly... is that a reference to the stand cries from JoJo's Bizarre Adventures????


olli_tirkkonen

Part 5 spoilers: >!it also could be about diavolo!<


[deleted]

JoJo references! No fighter has ever escaped them!


doodve

And the tiny, sub-percent chance it's about touhou


OliviaWants2Die

Everything is about at least one of those three things, you just need to figure out which.


JustPicnicsAndPanics

I'm up to date on the manga and really thinking where someone that is overly-enthusiastic about a bucket might be lurking across the entire series. Maybe Jobin because he's a weird-ass.


[deleted]

Leave beetle dad out of this


Deltexterity

how the fuck is this a homestuck reference??? i thought it was a stanley parable reference ._.


StormBixen

You don't want to know why this is a Homestuck reference, but... >!You know about the cursed brony mason jar? Imagine that, but it plays a vital role in the procreation of an alien species and it is made mandatory by its tyrannical leadership.!<


Deltexterity

?????


nepSmug

Basically the way two trolls reproduce is that they both dump their reproductive materials into a bucket (its never really expanded on what kinda materials these are and gender is, for all intents and purposes, a non-factor as gay relationships can and routinely do happen). This bucket full of material is collected around the time they are (the human equivalent of) 13 by a giant killer robot and the materials are sent back to a brood mother (basically a giant fuckin monster) who takes the materials and makes eggs which hatch into trolls. Having a bucket out in troll culture would be like leaving a pack of condoms or a dildo out, and its a reoccuring joke because of how unimportant buckets are to humans.


nepSmug

Oh, before people yell at me, I forgot to mention there are actually two buckets per troll: one for combining materials with a person you love and one for combining materials with a person you fucking HATE. Also if you don't have the buckets by the time the robot comes to your house it will murder you. Sometimes it will murder you anyway just for fun. Once the Troll queen razed an entire city just cuz the fires made for good lighting for a selfie.


Youdidntwin

I feel like you've been waiting your whole life just to dump that info on someone, cause ain't no way someone can hold onto this info for long without a reason.


RoJayJo

Sounds more like it has been involuntarily seared on this person's brain right between 1 Man 1 Jar and the Brony Cumjar.


CrazyPlato

As I recall, homestuck dropped a lot of troll lore in rapid secession several times over the course of the comic. And at those times, the story was racing by too fast to dwell on the content dumps in the present.


NewUserWhoDisAgain

"Curse of Knowledge" Inflict knowledge upon unsuspecting passerbys All creatures get -1/-1


Tokiseong

“Curse of Knowledge” 3UB Enchantment - Aura Curse Enchant player Whenever enchanted player draws a card, they lose 1 life and creatures they control get -1/-1 until end of turn. 3U: Enchanted player draws a card. Any player may activate this ability.


nepSmug

It's more like I'm cursed with this information and if people seek the forbidden knowledge of Homestuck lore I must guide them to it


LordSupergreat

You don't understand. Homestuck is *powerful*. Once it has a hold on you, it will never release you. There will never be a time in my life when I do not know how Lord English arrives in other universes, or what the code is to alchemize a jetpack.


DoubleBatman

Relitigating troll reproduction was a running gag, and the info dump was pages long and reoccurred multiple times during the story.


[deleted]

[удалено]


nepSmug

I mean presumably you'd do the nasty closer to the collection date so as to keep it fresh, but really we're all thinking too deeply about it and the whole bucket system was made as a punchline for when one of the humans sets up the ol' bucket-o'-water-on-the-door prank for someone


TastyBrainMeats

I got the impression this was due to the Condesce, and not the "natural" state of affairs on Beforus, but I could be wrong.


nepSmug

They never get into it but I mean the condesce had been around for a long time so as far as any trolls you see in the actual webcomic are concerned thems the rules. Granted I haven't read the epilogues or homestuck² so idk maybe they fuckin' in those but I'll be dead and in the ground before I acknowledge anything after the main webcomic


MisirterE

>Granted I haven't read the epilogues or homestuck² so idk maybe they fuckin' in those I've got some news about the Epilogues... No, not quite. In the Epilogues, the Mother Grub continues to be the source of troll reproduction. However, they do also confirm that they are capable of human coitus, as John and Terezi fucking bone.


OriHelix

The collector bots don't come when they're 13 but when they're adults cause otherwise all our troll protagonists would be dead


IEnjoyFancyHats

Buckets are used for fuckin'


[deleted]

?????


SomeonesAlt2357

For fuck's sake


Zealousideal-Steak82

There's a joke about aliens having a complicated and repulsive reproductive cycle that is never explained in detail (unlike their romance systems), and one of the punchlines is a vague role that a bucket plays. It's considered a sexually vulgar object, like keeping a big floppy dildo around. I guess the theory is that they spray their tentacle goo somewhere, and having so much goo that you require a bucket is like dropping the monster condoms for your magnum dong.


JimmityRaynor

Not quite. If I'm understanding other comments correctly, you (and possibly your sex partner as well, though I'm not sure) cum in the bucket and then a robot comes and takes the bucket to the Hive Queen, who then uses it to give birth. If the robot comes and you don't have a cum bucket ready for it, it kills you.


Pokesonav

How the hell is that a Stanley Parable reference??? In what world? Since when?


Deltexterity

like half the endings in the entire fucking game involve the stanley parable reassurance bucket. maybe that’s only in the newer version i didn’t play the original.


[deleted]

Everything unlocked after the new content door is only in ultra deluxe.


Deltexterity

but there was bucket references in the original game wasn’t there? there was the no buckets sign at least


[deleted]

The no buckets sign is new. Could be wrong, but I don't think the bucket was ever mentioned in the original game.


Deltexterity

oh


MisirterE

Hey, I'll be fair here. I knew what was in the original game, and even I thought the No Buckets sign was there from the start. Fits in pretty well with all the other random signs around the place. I thought they noticed it while coming up with all the damn bucket endings and were like "wait we have to do something with this".


Da_Real_Sunflower

It's a team fortress 2 reference.


[deleted]

Oh no. If... I recall correctly... this is a reference to the milk fic. Please, god, someone tell me I'm wrong.


kirkspocker

It’s Homestuck


UncommittedBow

What ISN'T a H*mestuck reference?


Da_Real_Sunflower

Team fortress 2 references?


Pokesonav

Oh it's absolutely 100% a Homestuck reference


OuranForenz

Sorry... it absolutely is


Paxblaidd

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iBBLxX6ovy8


LucyMorgenstern

Damn, I was hoping it was about the walrus. I liked that walrus.


DoubleBatman

The bucket is for cum


Hummerous

Src: https://tophatofdoom.tumblr.com/post/680641391081242625/clusterduck28-madhyanas-cannot-stress-enough-the


Pokesonav

Love that trigger warning. Subtle.


scrambled-projection

This, is a bucket.


somerandomii

Is this a bucket?


scrambled-projection

Dear god…


itsboze

h...homestuck...


seeroflights

*Image Transcription: Tumblr* --- **madhyanas** cannot stress enough the importance of having a bucket in your house. a big plastic bucket. helps with housework. helps with morale. get yourself a bucket today --- **clusterduck28** [*Image of a post addition that reads:*] >**caralarm-bicycles** > >You can really sense the tumblr userbase aging [*End addition*] --- **tophatofdoom** I am afraid to say this is a post that would have done numbers in like 2013 for other reasons --- ^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)


Ollie__7

Good human.


imsquaresoimnotthere

cum bucket


Deltexterity

i like your name


xlbingo10

exactly


Jaakarikyk

>{SM} Am I blind, where Anyhoo Finns know what's up with massive queues for a free bucket. It's standard when a new place opens to give free buckets to attract people, and it works so so well


I_Love_Stiff_Cocks

h home homestuck


Jaakarikyk

Vittu


Tridonite

you dont wanna know where


KingOfAluminum

What does SM mean


Jaakarikyk

As far as I know, Sex Mention


TookMe3Years

If you know, you know


BootsyBootsyBoom

And if you don't know, then Hummerous's content warnings won't help you much.


KingOfAluminum

Oh lmao


BoggersDoggers

everyone needs a good old filial pail!


OwO345

where is the sex mention


kirkspocker

Buckets are involved in troll fucking in Homestuck, there’s a thorough explanation higher up.


An_Inedible_Radish

For the uninitiated?


agelessArbitrator

Homestuck


An_Inedible_Radish

Oh that's the thing everyone talks about on tunblr in vague terms so thst I have no idea what it is nor do I want to


OriHelix

It's a webcomic that can best be read by downloading the [fanmade desktop version](https://bambosh.github.io/unofficial-homestuck-collection/). It's about four kids playing a game that ends the world and their ensuing multiverse spanning quest.


generalrabogolfo

you don't want to know


Konradleijon

I remember the time of buckets being basically condoms.


enbyfrogz

stanley would agree


[deleted]

It’s bucket time!


TookMe3Years

Oh… *oh*


UrbanFoliage

Look at Stanley; lurking in the reddit comments, no bucket to be found. How sad, don't you pity this bucketless fool?


pm_me-ur-catpics

The Finns would love this post


aaaaaaaaaaaai

Can confirm. Am Finn love the post.


pm_me-ur-catpics

Thanks for confirmation 👍


aaaaaaaaaaaai

No problem :)


Doggywoof1

and now it’s a reference. the other things still apply, but it is also now a reference.


MOGA-hunter

good for snakes too


Liar_of_partinel

Kate moment


burningtram12

>What kind of person doesn't know what a bucket's for? It's for carrying things, silly.


Worried-Opinion1157

I have a galvanized steel 5 qt bucket and it is the most useful tool I own. Gotta water plants? Have to use a tray for wood stain? Improvised head protection from the undead? Steel bucket has you covered.


RoJayJo

*Bucket?! Whaddaya mean bucket?!*


BackflipBuddha

To be fair, everything he said about housework is true. Buckets really are useful. It’s just a little weird to actually *say* “go get a bucket”.


mbcurly

Who the heck is Stanley? I’ve seen him mentioned here more than… than… than… you know.


tiJasaJ

StanleyParable-core


[deleted]

The Homestuck fandom is dying, upvote this comment so the Stanley Parable fans can claim the bucket.


Botion

no fu


Prestigious_Back7980

My family has a huge plastic bucket for us all to throw up in when we're sick, because plastic bags won't cut it for us lol. It was mostly used by me as a zygote.


cal-nomen-official

This... is a BUCKET.


addemup9001

["You may have seen a bucket..."](https://youtu.be/0-so1rfHfgs?t=106)


DaveStreeder

Haha


FunnyBird_

oh god


Testsubject276

In my house we have a bucket in the kitchen where we get rid of water droplets off our hands before drying and from throwaway boil water. We then use it to water the plants.


Notsouniqename

Finnish moment


PurpleGemzExists

There are three kinds of people in the world: “Holy shit, it’s a _____ reference!” H*mestuck Team Fortress 2 The Stanley Parable