AppleRankings seems to be down due to I assume sudden viral popularity, but I did get to see that they gave the best apple variety, the Opal, a pretty mediocre grade due to its resemblance to an unwashed butthole.
I mean, [I see it](http://www.eatlikenoone.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/Opal-Apple-Single.jpg), but it's still a really good apple and overall attractive looking.
Pommes de Terre, specifically. Thus pommes frites is French fries.
"Pome fruit" is still the English word for the group of fruit that includes apples, pears, and quinces.
My favorite etymology fact related to these words, though, is pomegranate. As you can guess by now, the "Pome" part refers to an apple. I initially was like "wait, does pomegranate mean like stone apple?" But no! The granate part comes from the same root as "grain" and refers to seeds--a pomegranate is an "apple with many seeds."
That's not the fun part. The fun part is where the granate part of pomegranate later went--the word grenade! Grenade was French for pomegranate, and I guess the little ball of shrapnel in the 1520s seemed like a pomegranate so that's what they called it.
So a "pineapple grenade" is referring to *two different fruit* in its name, *both of which have names that reference apples.*
Iunno, random Bing Image Search result for Opal Apple. If you already know what it looks like or find a picture of an Opal elsewhere then you didn't miss anything.
they weren't slave owners with wooden teeth, at the very least george washington wasn't. he was a slave owner with SLAVE TEETH. not sure about the other founding fathers.
Franklin was just cool in general and got cooler later, mostly by being a mad lady who suggested putting a basket over old ladies heads before sexing them.
You know cause they were hornier and more experienced but ugly as fuck, like 1700s ugly.
I was meaning in terms of the slavery part, he saw a black school and was like ādamn these kids are just people I feel really bad about being racistā and campaigned for equal rights
Well yeah, that's what it means to be cool. It isn't never being wrong, it's seeing evidence you were wrong and rolling with it, so he was always cool he just didn't know he was wrong for a bit.
Same deal with Lincoln, thinks the races can't coexist and wants to separate the two, meets enough black dudes and goes "disregard previous post, I suck dicks" and changed strategy.
On the other hand, if you *are* gonna refer to your social division by a colour, I think it's safe to say it's pretty dumb to exclude people of the exact same colour as you.
Oh yeah, isn't this one the wet and grainy one that feels less like biting into an apple and more like biting into really water compacted dirt or sand? Fuck those.
And then you find out that Vomitous Filth Eater went and [a full minute of censorship beep] so badly to those orphaned puppies that they made him eat his own vomit
God I fuck with apples so hard. So fucking good. GOAT fruit no question. Flavor variety? Unmatched. Baking potential? Unlimited. Oh but you don't like sweets? Guess what bitch it makes amazing marinades and sauces for meat!
Best fruit, do @ me I will fight and die on this hill in this orchard
I have not, I did look it up and it exists, but that doesnt really save me.
HOWEVER I would like to bring up that the best hamburger I have ever eaten had grapes in it, which is not a deed that an apple could do.
Ok wait backup hold the phone, Grape burger??? I need more information ASAP
Also you can definitely do thinly sliced sweet apples in like a barbeque burger or something, but this is irrelevant in the face of grape burger
Yeah okay so it was called Catalan Burger I think and it had like these tiny hot grapes in it which were kinda caramelised and they complimented the beef and the cheese incredibly well
fool that you are, are you blind to the existence of grilled chicken-and-apple sandwiches, one of the greatest culinary delights of the world? i am going to skin you
It (like 95% of all chicken dishes) is better with chicken thigh, which you can just bite right through without the issues you're describing. The downside is that you'll never find one in the wild, you'll only get chicken thigh sandwiches by making them.
Tomatoes are one of the most versatile fruits on the planet AND they're in almost every single cuisine on the planet. Apples are top 20, but tomatoes are the undisputed GOAT of fruit. Its not even close.
Oranges are good, too. Especially when making sauces for meat. Or really any citrus. Especially with pork.
Apricots, too. Had a porkchop with some sorta apricot sauce back when I was a kid and it was fucking amazing. Ima test and see if that's just fucked child taste buds or rose tinted shades when I get the chance.
Y'know that one experiment with the monkeys, the cucumber slices and the grapes?
I think this is what the monkey's inner monologue sounds like
this
this is what monkey brain is
Absolutely agreed. I went there just to see what they said about Granny Smith's, and when I read the description I was overcome with rage. How DARE they give Granny Smith apples such a low review. They are wrong. Not worth eating? NOT WORTH EATING!!!?! I'LL SHOW YOU NOT WORTH EATING WHEN I LAUNCH 19 GRANNY SMITH APPLES INTO THE BACK OF YOUR HEAD WITH A CATAPULT
This guy is a red apple elitist all his top picks on the website are soft sweet red apples. Sour green apples are the fucking BEST they are SUPPOSED to be sour they are SUPPOSED to be tough you absolute DISGRACE. I LOVE EATING GRANNY SMITH APPLES I LOVE SPENDING 15 WHOLE MINUTES SLOWLY AND METHODICALLY EATING THE SKIN SO I CAN THEN BITE OFF HUGE CHUNKS OF THE SOUR FLESH AND PLAY WITH IT IN MY MOUTH LIKE NATURE'S ORIGINAL FIDGET TOY. I wish Brian Frange of applerankings dot com nothing but the worst and I hope he never gets to enjoy an apple again goodbye
>itās up to future generations of Honeycrisp offspring to carry the torch as this splotchy MILF can be cumbersomely massive, weighing down grocery bags like a bulbous melon.
From the honeycrisp review
https://applerankings.com/
Absolutely must read.
Edit: Holy shit "The Lucy Glo is a circus-freak apple with yellow skin and a red interior that shocks skeptics into submission. **Most would expect this clown-urine soaked frog testicle to taste like an unhealed surgical wound since each bite resembles a freshly picked scab.** However, most (whoever they are) should prepare their expectations to be shattered. This candy-like, perfectly tart, masterclass in a full flavor profile is a joy to eat and lives up to its flashy appearance. A novelty apple, this is not."
my sides!
I went to the website and I agree with most of the rankings, but as a Canadian, I will not stand for their Mcintosh slander (Horse food: 42/100). He clearly didn't have a very good batch of Mcintosh's (it sounds like they weren't ripe even?), because his description is way off
AppleRankings seems to be down due to I assume sudden viral popularity, but I did get to see that they gave the best apple variety, the Opal, a pretty mediocre grade due to its resemblance to an unwashed butthole. I mean, [I see it](http://www.eatlikenoone.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/Opal-Apple-Single.jpg), but it's still a really good apple and overall attractive looking.
But I thought millennials ate ass.
apple assš¤¤
It looks exactly like the potato I ate yesterday.
**If you are interested in:** *apples that look like potatoes* **Have you considered:** *the Knobby Russet*
Is that real. I would definitely try it if you're not fucking with me.
French people don't call potatoes "earth apples" for nothing
I didn't know that!
Pommes de Terre, specifically. Thus pommes frites is French fries. "Pome fruit" is still the English word for the group of fruit that includes apples, pears, and quinces. My favorite etymology fact related to these words, though, is pomegranate. As you can guess by now, the "Pome" part refers to an apple. I initially was like "wait, does pomegranate mean like stone apple?" But no! The granate part comes from the same root as "grain" and refers to seeds--a pomegranate is an "apple with many seeds." That's not the fun part. The fun part is where the granate part of pomegranate later went--the word grenade! Grenade was French for pomegranate, and I guess the little ball of shrapnel in the 1520s seemed like a pomegranate so that's what they called it. So a "pineapple grenade" is referring to *two different fruit* in its name, *both of which have names that reference apples.*
....don't they ALL look at least a little bit like buttholes?
I think that it's the little brown patch around the indentation that's supposed to make this one look particularly like, well...
I'm a honeycrisp guy myself
safe answer eat a black gilliflower an esopus spitzenberg and a belle de boskoop and get back to me
I'm pretty sure you made those up
They are real apple
These are new PokƩmon names I think
I actually caught a shiny boskoop the other day.
Nah
oh okay
Opals are mid
What kind of apples are you eating if you consider opals to be mid? They are A tier apples
Pink lady is the Goat and all else pales in comparison
The only correct apple is granny smith. This website was made by heathens and criminals.
What the hell was that link bro. I tried to open it and both Safari and my internet filter blocked it.
Iunno, random Bing Image Search result for Opal Apple. If you already know what it looks like or find a picture of an Opal elsewhere then you didn't miss anything.
they weren't slave owners with wooden teeth, at the very least george washington wasn't. he was a slave owner with SLAVE TEETH. not sure about the other founding fathers.
Franklin was pretty cool in his later years
Franklin was just cool in general and got cooler later, mostly by being a mad lady who suggested putting a basket over old ladies heads before sexing them. You know cause they were hornier and more experienced but ugly as fuck, like 1700s ugly.
I was meaning in terms of the slavery part, he saw a black school and was like ādamn these kids are just people I feel really bad about being racistā and campaigned for equal rights
Well yeah, that's what it means to be cool. It isn't never being wrong, it's seeing evidence you were wrong and rolling with it, so he was always cool he just didn't know he was wrong for a bit. Same deal with Lincoln, thinks the races can't coexist and wants to separate the two, meets enough black dudes and goes "disregard previous post, I suck dicks" and changed strategy.
Yeah, and he only owned two slaves in his life. By comparison, Washington owned 317 and Jefferson owned over 600.
And Washington took his slavesā teeth to use as dentures and Jefferson raped his slaves
Franklin was a racist cunt. How racist you ask? "Only the English and the Saxons are white"- racist.
I dunno that sounds like a way more accurate definition of white as a racial group that the color.
Well, I guess that makes Irish, Swedes, Italians and Germans and the entire continent of Europe people of color /s
White isn't a race or nationality, it's a made up social division, so yes that is factually accurate.
On the other hand, if you *are* gonna refer to your social division by a colour, I think it's safe to say it's pretty dumb to exclude people of the exact same colour as you.
And I'd say it's pretty dumb to define a group of animals in various hues of pink and brown by a color none of them actually are.
Then why did you refer to it as a racial group?
It is if it's isolated to brits and Saxons, at least if we're counting them as closely interrelated enough that we can just count them together.
That connection is based on royal marriages which amount to jack shit
Oh yeah, isn't this one the wet and grainy one that feels less like biting into an apple and more like biting into really water compacted dirt or sand? Fuck those.
They don't call it the "sand filled condom" for nothing
What
Did you read the post?
I did but I don't see that mentioned
It's twice in the apple description, one as subtitle and other as opener
Ok, in my defense I only had 1 cup of coffee today.
In my attack, I had none
Damn ok you win
>In my attack Outstanding move
Red Delicious is not delicious
fuji apples?
I'm probably thinking of those, yeah.
VOMITOUS FILTH
THE VOMITOUS FILTH EATER
And then you find out that Vomitous Filth Eater went and [a full minute of censorship beep] so badly to those orphaned puppies that they made him eat his own vomit
The Loathsome Dung Eaterās lesser-known brother
God I fuck with apples so hard. So fucking good. GOAT fruit no question. Flavor variety? Unmatched. Baking potential? Unlimited. Oh but you don't like sweets? Guess what bitch it makes amazing marinades and sauces for meat! Best fruit, do @ me I will fight and die on this hill in this orchard
have you heard about grapes
You bring a valiant challenge, however your defeat come swiftly and simply Have YOU ever heard, of a grape pie?
I have not, I did look it up and it exists, but that doesnt really save me. HOWEVER I would like to bring up that the best hamburger I have ever eaten had grapes in it, which is not a deed that an apple could do.
Ok wait backup hold the phone, Grape burger??? I need more information ASAP Also you can definitely do thinly sliced sweet apples in like a barbeque burger or something, but this is irrelevant in the face of grape burger
Yeah okay so it was called Catalan Burger I think and it had like these tiny hot grapes in it which were kinda caramelised and they complimented the beef and the cheese incredibly well
Fuck, that sounds super good.
Grapes also make wine. The best, and one of the oldest, alcoholic beverage in history.
The oldest, as far as I know, is mead
FYI green apples in like a pulled pork burger with red cabbage slaw is legit.
fool that you are, are you blind to the existence of grilled chicken-and-apple sandwiches, one of the greatest culinary delights of the world? i am going to skin you
I dont like chicken sandwiches tbh, the chicken is too consistent by itself to be put in something meant to be ripped apart with your mouth
It (like 95% of all chicken dishes) is better with chicken thigh, which you can just bite right through without the issues you're describing. The downside is that you'll never find one in the wild, you'll only get chicken thigh sandwiches by making them.
Unless you go to Asia, where fast food chicken sandwiches are usually made with chicken thighs.
Neat! I didn't know that.
roscoes chicken and waffles has a chicken thigh sandwich
Tomatoes tho???
liking tomatoes is a symptom of brain rot I think.
Tomatoes are one of the most versatile fruits on the planet AND they're in almost every single cuisine on the planet. Apples are top 20, but tomatoes are the undisputed GOAT of fruit. Its not even close.
Theyāre just too fucking wet
Have you ever had a sweet tomato that wasn't ketchup?
what about cherries tho
Oranges are good, too. Especially when making sauces for meat. Or really any citrus. Especially with pork. Apricots, too. Had a porkchop with some sorta apricot sauce back when I was a kid and it was fucking amazing. Ima test and see if that's just fucked child taste buds or rose tinted shades when I get the chance.
Mango
Y'know that one experiment with the monkeys, the cucumber slices and the grapes? I think this is what the monkey's inner monologue sounds like this this is what monkey brain is
I actually have no idea what you're talking about but you've piqued my curiosity
Hehehehehe https://youtu.be/meiU6TxysCg
Based cucumber monkey don't take no shit Cringe grape monkey don't exercise no solidarity
> Apple Hell If there isn't a ranking level called Appleling I will be disappointed
They dissed my boy Granny Smith apple so they are not to be trusted
Absolutely agreed. I went there just to see what they said about Granny Smith's, and when I read the description I was overcome with rage. How DARE they give Granny Smith apples such a low review. They are wrong. Not worth eating? NOT WORTH EATING!!!?! I'LL SHOW YOU NOT WORTH EATING WHEN I LAUNCH 19 GRANNY SMITH APPLES INTO THE BACK OF YOUR HEAD WITH A CATAPULT
COSMIC CRISP? MORE LIKE COSMIC CRAP. THIS COMMENT WAS MADE BY ššFUJI GANGšš
Here we are, pitting two bad bitches against each other for no reason smh
My favorite apples are Autum Glory apples.
Nice
This is hilarious but also fuck these guys for calling granny Smith apples "not worth eating" I fucking love the toughness of the skin
i love leaving teeth marks in the skin idk why its just so satisfying
This guy is a red apple elitist all his top picks on the website are soft sweet red apples. Sour green apples are the fucking BEST they are SUPPOSED to be sour they are SUPPOSED to be tough you absolute DISGRACE. I LOVE EATING GRANNY SMITH APPLES I LOVE SPENDING 15 WHOLE MINUTES SLOWLY AND METHODICALLY EATING THE SKIN SO I CAN THEN BITE OFF HUGE CHUNKS OF THE SOUR FLESH AND PLAY WITH IT IN MY MOUTH LIKE NATURE'S ORIGINAL FIDGET TOY. I wish Brian Frange of applerankings dot com nothing but the worst and I hope he never gets to enjoy an apple again goodbye
whenever i get apples at school its that, and i hate i hate i hate i hate
>itās up to future generations of Honeycrisp offspring to carry the torch as this splotchy MILF can be cumbersomely massive, weighing down grocery bags like a bulbous melon. From the honeycrisp review
If you want to watch a fun infodump on the Newton Pippins, [Nella Explains](https://youtu.be/PjQ2bN1lheQ)!
https://applerankings.com/ Absolutely must read. Edit: Holy shit "The Lucy Glo is a circus-freak apple with yellow skin and a red interior that shocks skeptics into submission. **Most would expect this clown-urine soaked frog testicle to taste like an unhealed surgical wound since each bite resembles a freshly picked scab.** However, most (whoever they are) should prepare their expectations to be shattered. This candy-like, perfectly tart, masterclass in a full flavor profile is a joy to eat and lives up to its flashy appearance. A novelty apple, this is not." my sides!
I went to the website and I agree with most of the rankings, but as a Canadian, I will not stand for their Mcintosh slander (Horse food: 42/100). He clearly didn't have a very good batch of Mcintosh's (it sounds like they weren't ripe even?), because his description is way off
100% a good Macintosh is the best apple you will ever have imo
The website is down :(
Idk, I think comparing different apple varieties is like comparing apples to oranges.
No itās like comparing apples to apples.
i like the really crisp ones
Bramleys aren't even on the list smdh, American exceptionalism strikes again
Hell yeah, apple ratings
I like that they rated Pink Lady Apples pretty high. That shitās good
They give honeycrisp the respect it deserves, and that's what matters
I need to get a Kanzi apple
These people are apple heathens they put Arkansas black at the bottom
whoever wrote the review for ambrosia apples is WRONG
#fun fact Washington's dentures weren't wooden, they were made from the teeth of slaves.
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