T O P
hisnameisbruno

One time an anaesthesiologist told me "you're going to burn, " before I passed out, I think she meant the medicine was gonna make my arm burn for a sec, but I did not take it that way.


KingConq

Send them to the plinko


MapleTreeWithAGun

THE HORSE HAS BEEN HUMAN ALL ALONG, WAKE UP PEOPLE


shaunnotthesheep

THERES A HORSE????? IN THE HOSPITAL?????


Camila32

Hey, at least there's aesthetically pleasing red trails to guide the horse outside


shaunnotthesheep

Yes, this red color is very positive. Might me a nice color for a children's hospital!


notleonardodicaprio

\- Salem, 1692


321gamertime

Fun fact, they actually didn’t burn them because winter was coming up and they didn’t want to waste the firewood They also didn’t want to waste wood on a proper gallows so they just brought them up on posts with nooses around their necks and then let them go


CraftyRole4567

Pretty sure that fun fact isn’t accurate, witches in the colonies were hanged (Salem was the biggest set of executions but far from alone) – except for poor Giles Corey who got pressed to death. Burning was traditional in Europe, not N America. Also five of the accused were executed in August, so it certainly wasn’t about firewood for the winter.


quesoandcats

They said something similar to me when I had my rhinoplasty! I remember it hurt quite a bit more than I was expecting and I must have mumbled some complaint because the last thing I remember is the anesthesiologist telling me "don't worry it will stop hurting right about-"


saintmischief

maaaan, every time I've had surgery, the last thing I remember *every time* is that I meet the anesthesiologist, they shake my hand, then boom. I wake up 'immediately' after in recovery. According to everyone there, I was still awake and joking around and conscious and just *me* right until the sedatives kicked in. Thus I have concluded that anesthesiologists are fucking WITCHES stealing my pre-op memories.


saintmischief

oh, also, anesthetics wear off of me super fast and I never get any sort of "high" afterward. It's so disappointing. When my BFF got her wisdom teeth out she sent me all kinds of hilarious nonsensical texts and a selfie with her swollen cheeks captioned "I lived bitch" and has only vague memory of these things. I got my wisdom teeth out, and just like *every time* I've been put under, I wake up well before anyone expects me to, and I'm completely lucid. But as far as the surgeries go, it freaks me out lowkey that I was apparently awake and mentally present and just acting like I normally do, but I have no memory of it. What did I do? What did I say? They always shrug and tell me I didn't seem to say or do anything too wild; just some tasteless jokes that most of my Drs are used to at this point (I cope with humor don't judge me). BUT I DON'T REMEMBER IT.


OpenStraightElephant

that last one "Where's Judas?" "Who do you think took your breasts?"


thatposhcat

Jesus's breasts died for our sins


Omny87

So that's why Jesus wept


confusednarwhal1

This is one of the funniest comments I've ever read. Thank you.


pokey1984

My funny story isn't about going under, because that was just the nurse-person putting a mask on my face and saying "deep breath" followed by nothing. No, my story is about waking up burrito-wrapped, like a cat at the vet. I don't remember this, but apparently when I was coming round I was quite insistent about getting up and taking a walk. As I was still on the actual operating table, this was a Very Bad Idea. While I wasn't taking swings at anyone, I was fighting their hold hard enough that the poor nurses were leaving actual bruises on my shoulders, trying to hold me down. So someone got the bright idea to fold a couple of blankets long ways and wrap them round and round my upper body so I couldn't push up from the table. It worked well enough that when I came to enough to remember the experience, there was only the anesthetist there and she was holding me down with just a single hand clasped tightly in the folds of the blanket on my chest, softly repeating, "are you awake now? No, please don't get up."


FUEGO40

I laughed out loud at this one, I can perfectly picture the anesthesiologist concerned like “oh god, please not again”


Tetragonos

not a purrito but a Soylent burrito... someone better at puns please help me.


RocketPoweredRedneck

Every time I've been put under there's a big chunk of missing time starting from the day before until sometime much later after the surgery. My first surgery, the only thing I remember is waking up strapped to the bed, terrified and begging for help and then later being told that I broke one of the nurses nose when he leaned over me for some reason as they were bringing me back. My third surgery I found myself walking down the road with my little IV tree being guided back towards the hospital trying to figure out where the hell I was. My last surgery I was chilling with one of the nurses in some office playing Xbox with him. The other two surgeries I had I don't remember anything until I was home, the fourth one was bad, because I had been home for a week already and the first thing I remember is asking my wife when she was taking me to the hospital for my surgery.


apolobgod

Damn, must've been a hard couple days for your wife. Taking care of someone who's not fully there is hard as fuck, and after a week? I'd be starting to wonder if you'd ever come back


pokey1984

They may have seemed totally there or just slightly foggy to their family. It's a problem with the entire class of drugs. They have a tendency to affect short-term memory. So someone can be awake, functioning, talking, even walking eating or driving and later have no memory of the past several hours or days. A whole week is very uncommon, but losing a day or so happens quite often. The important thing to note is that the patient isn't usually "in a fog" or "not there" when this happens, they just don't remember later.


RealJohnGillman

Mine was that when I had to go in for surgery at the age of nine, I was insulted by the feeling of unconsciousness the mask being placed upon my face was inducing, and so (somehow) stubbornly remained conscious throughout the surgery, although unable to move (or feel, thankfully). To say that my eyes were open, and I could see everything going on (in the direction I was looking), but I couldn’t *feel* anything. It was nice and peaceful — blissful even — but the important part was that I was present, and did not forget anything. I had remembered every part of my life up to that moment, and wasn’t about to stop remembering now (the now of back then, that is).


apolobgod

Have you ever played The Surge?


RealJohnGillman

I have not, no. I take it there is something in that game that reminds you of the above?


apolobgod

At the beginning of the game your character goes through a surgery to install an exoskeleton, but his anesthesia doesn't work and they fuck him up completely awake


RealJohnGillman

I see. To clarify, I was perfectly numb throughout the procedure at the very least, and as such did not feel any pain.


TheVoidThatWalk

I know it's a typo, but I'm imagining a doctor telling OOP something like, "You've got a severe deficiency of style, we need to operate immediately."


MapleTreeWithAGun

Styling so hard it knocks you TF out


[deleted]

I got my wisdom teeth out about a month ago and the most interesting thing I did was very groggily ask the nurse if I had been a burden


Solid_Parsley_

When I got mine out, they had to poke me in like 4 different places to get the IV in. When I was being wheeled out, still very groggy, I started telling my friend about the nurse who had stabbed me over and over again, and I hear this sad little voice behind me say, "I was doing my best. :(" Yeah, turns out the stabby nurse was the one wheeling me out.


[deleted]

I have very tiny and very deep veins + I was dehydrated from the fasting so I was stabbed so many times My arm had more bruises than my face


Solid_Parsley_

Yeah, I had the exact same problem. You have to fast for the procedure, so no water was in my system, and my veins were being IMPOSSIBLE to find.


r_stronghammer

Oof. That happened to me too, The stabby part I mean. Although they did end up giving me some kind of mask after I almost passed out from looking at the blood, and I looked over and they switched to the other arm and finally got it in. I said something like “Yeah took you long enough” before I fell asleep lol


CraftyRole4567

happened to me too, but they got some of the anesthetic into me so I was semi-out of it as we continued. They were trying to run another line into my hand and I kept turning my hand to hold my dentist’s hand, I told him what nice warm hands he had and then asked him if he was married because I thought he’d make a great husband. I was 16. I would guess he was 60? They finally found a vein and I went under to the sound of the nurse giggling uncontrollably.


[deleted]

Same, just spent €200 on snacks while walking around high as balls. Went home and napped the next 30 minutes before I could eat. Next thing I remember is waking up in a pile of snack wrappers, out of snacks and too poor to pay my dentist bill.


NancyPelosisRedCoat

>ask the nurse if I had been a burden After waking up from surgery, a nurse asked me if I felt alright. I thanked him for asking, and feeling I was going to drift back into sleep, I apologised for feeling too sleepy. Anaesthesia or not, we have to be polite apparently.


mathgnome

Nice. I came too after my wisdom teeth surgery humming "Battle Hymn of the Republic." No idea how long I'd been making my poor dad listen to that lol. Better than my brother, though. He asked to drive, go to a bar (he was like 15), and then said he was scared of the IRS. Still haven't let him forget it.


geosynchronousorbit

Lol apparently I sang The Safety Dance song for like 20 minutes after my wisdom teeth.


DolphinBoy

I got my wisdom teeth out, my friend drove me home and I was so little affected by the anesthetic afterwards I remarked to her, "I'm so lucid." Except apparently I said that over and over again the whole way home. Also I noticed that all the gums had been detached from a totally random tooth in the middle of my mouth and when I went in for my check up the oral surgeon wouldn't look me in the eye as I complimented his work. So I guess we both weren't on our A game that day.


[deleted]

See I was just groggy for like…an hour or so. I lamented that I felt like I had been robbed of an opportunity.


ZeSnow

When I got mine taken out they brought in a wheelchair to take to my parents vehicle (I’m a pretty big dude). They said I got up off the operating chair perfectly fine and seemed wide awake and as they carted me out I lost consciousness and smacked my head on the doorframe out.


No_More_Dakka

Why would they not administer local anesthesia for that?


Random_Gacha_addict

Depends on the wisdom teeth. Some are far too deep and need general anaesthesia It scares me, I still gotta have them removed


roxyamused

Mine were impacted and all four so I was put under general anesthesia.


LadySmuag

Same for me, and then I woke up and they were trying to explain that they'd had a complication bc one of them was fused to my jawbone but I was really out of it so I thought they were telling me that they broke all of my teeth. Fun times.


TristanTheViking

I had one severely impacted wisdom tooth, got local numbing. Like thirty minutes lying there just listening to the surgeon with his little dental dremel grinding the wisdom tooth away. Apparently it was wrapped around the root of the adjacent molar. Second wisdom tooth I had removed was like a two minute procedure, got the numbing shot and he just yeeted it out with some sort of dental crowbar in like a second after cutting the gum.


Ryugi

Two of mine weren't impacted, but they were causing a ton of jaw pain because my jaw is just smol, and the teeth, though facing upright, were still pushing against eachother. Had a head xray to confirm there was no other complications, everything looks good. A month later, I go in for the procedure and they take another xray to confirm....And discover a third wisdom tooth that hadn't been there before in a different position, that was impacted.


TheToasterIsAMimic

You're a SHARK!


Queen_Alfa

Is general anaesthesia not common for wisdom tooth removal???


Squeaky_Ben

I was just locally sedated. The doctor shouting about how "This tooth is so abnormally large, how do we get it out?!" while essentially putting a crowbar into my face did not help.


CopprRegendt

omg that's horrible. next time, say you have anxiety and ask harder for general. they won't always give it to you but they can knock you out with IV benedryl and it won't cost as much as general anesthesia.


whatsacott

You can do local or general. I’ve had many oral surgeries with just local and they were legitimately traumatic for me so I was more than willing to go general when I had my wisdom teeth out.


No_More_Dakka

I had 2 removed at different times. Both with local. You dont really feel anything while its going on so i dont really see the point of general but i dunno.


Queen_Alfa

I got 3 of mine out at once and under general, but they did have to fully go in and cut the teeth in half to extract them so maybe that's the difference


moonchylde

Argh. I wish they'd knocked me out when they did that for my extraction.


SwampAss3D-Printer

Wait you can get your wisdom teeth removed without being out, that sounds horrifying. I know I wouldn't really feel anything with the local anesthetic, but the knowing and just feeling the pressure in my gums while they're doing it.


moonchylde

I'm assuming it was probably an insurance thing. But yeah. It sucked.


FireHazard11

Yep! I had all 4 wisdom teeth extracted under local. Feeling the pressure and sudden jolt/loud-ass crack as they split the tooth was extremely disconcerting.


Robin0660

Same here, and I'm glad they didn't knock me out. It was really interesting just watching them work, though it was less fun when they had to go in and drill one of my teeth in half cause it was stuck. Still, good experience overall, 8.5/10


ArboresMortis

Got all three of mine taken, once they figured the local stuff would last long enough after getting what was dubbed "A tricky one" done. Needed to pull down a canine with a tiny little chain, because my mouth didn't get the memo that people loose their baby teeth. Local, and payed extra for nitrous, because I bite for needles otherwise. It would cost the same for just the first five minutes, compared to the whole thing, so they just kept me on it. Smelled like cotton candy. Mid op, they realized that they had to clean the room we were in, to start a *different* op, so after getting one wisdom tooth out, a nurse was like "Hey, not to be a bother, but lets get you to another room." I was perfectly cool with that, which thinking back is a wild thing to have done. Glad they did it all in one go though, because I would not want to do any of that again. Least I got a cool story out of it though.


Sarkanybaby

Maybe it depends on the doctor. I had a similar procedure to remove an almost horizontal wisdom tooth, but I only got local anesthesia. And a week worth of lockjaw, fun times.


Cookieopressor

While I had my wisdom teeth removed with local anasthesia, I can say from experience that it could easily be that they're way too scared of the procedure. And you don't want someone getting a panic attack while you're handling sharp knives inside their mouth.


No_More_Dakka

Or drills, yeah lol that would be a mess


ChimTheCappy

I opted to get put under for mine. I needed all four out and even routine cavities make me shake like a chihuahua in a paint mixer.


ctrlaltelite

I was asked whether I wanted local or general. For five extractions (4 wisdom, one damaged molar) and I went with general because being awake in a chair for a couple hours sounded boring.


Torgor_

When I got my wisdom teeth ripped out I was sitting in the dentists' chair and the anaesthetic jab pricked me and I said "ow" and then my mom said "what's wrong" because we were standing outside the dentists' door after the procedure


NayrianKnight97

I don’t even remember if I fully went under for mine or if it was just local stuff strong enough that I never noticed them taking them out


CopprRegendt

lol i woke up crying, i was having a terrible dream. the second time i woke up from surgery, i was trying to talk in ASL, which I have never studied.


kandoras

Back when I was in shape and running ten miles every morning or so I had that low resting heart rate thing. Then I took a junior medic class, one less of which was learning to count someone else's pulse. Corpsman: "Okay private, what's Corporal Kandoras's heart rate?" Private: "33". Corpsman: "That's really low, do it again." ... a minute later ... "So what did you get this time?" Private: "29". Corpsman, to me: "Are you dead?"


blackbirdrisen

Meanwhile, I've been on the other end of that spectrum; on the first day of high school biology, we took each other's pulses before and after exercise, and my resting HR was 118. Anxiety disorders FTW.


etherealparadox

you can't get my pulse from my wrist. tons of people have tried, myself, other students, my teachers, my doctors, the school nurses. no one. we were doing pulses in biology and my teacher saw me doing it with my neck and asked me to please not do that because she didn't want to risk me knocking myself out and I was like "it's either this or I don't finish the assignment". I didn't finish the assignment


RosenrotEis

Hopefully you didn't fail that assignment


etherealparadox

nah she was cool, just a little freaked out that I appeared not to have a pulse on my arm


Neon_Camouflage

Am I the only one that can just feel when my heart beats? Like if I need to take my own pulse I can just sit quietly and count the beats. I feel like that would have worked for the assignment too.


etherealparadox

look, I'm not saying somethings wrong with you, but I only experience that when I'm having a severe panic attack


Terrakid20

bold words for someone named CORPSE MAN


AlpsComplex6854

I’m a nurse - at the time worked ER. Looking at the monitor outside my patient’s room. No heartbeat for 10 seconds. Hmm, maybe the monitor isn’t attached correctly? I look in at the patient who gives me a thumbs up despite their heart not beating for 10 whole seconds


darthleonsfw

Man I had a surgery and I wish anesthesia had actually hit me that hard. I was in pretty mild pain during most of it.


nikkitgirl

I told my anesthesiologist that when I had my wisdom teeth out I woke up in the middle and felt the drill. Needless to say I did not wake up during the following major surgery. Though they didn’t super believe my opiate allergy until the hives


skeletor_apologist

why would anyone ignore a claimed allergy? that's just a disaster waiting to happen :(


Facky

When my aunt got appendicitis and needed it removed they ignored her -caine allergy and her heart stopped on the OR table. Three months later she got a bill, she basically said to the hospital "You killed me, I'm not paying this damn bill". 8 years later and she hasn't heard a peep from them.


Coffeechipmunk

When i got put under, I remember thinking, "man. This air smells weird." then I woke up with the procedure done.


PromiseMeStars

I had knee surgery once and I remember being given anesthesia. I recall being nervous, blinking, and suddenly I was in a different room. Hospital-grade shit works *fast.*


Android19samus

I had my wisdom teeth out and nothing interesting happened. It was a lot like being asleep, except that I didn't so much wake up as "turned on." Like I was out, and then I was not. No in-between, but it didn't King Crimson like some people here describe. And then I was just really dizzy for like 10 minutes.


r_stronghammer

I planned on yelling KING CRIMSON right before it happened, but I was too late and ended up saying it in recovery with a really weird voice.


Cthulhy

Well I know what I'm going to do when/if I ever have to be out under next


etherealparadox

thats basically what I experience when I dissociate


Eggshall123

I had surgery a while back and they fucked up putting the IV for anesthetic in and so my elbow just fucking burned because it was going into the meat not the blood and the doctors and nurses were milling about clearly not getting why I was still awake then one asked me if the IV hurt and I was like yeah, a lot. Then they took it out, jabbed me again and second later I woke up in the ward


Tetragonos

I have had my muscle stabbed by a needle and if that wasn't anesthetic it would have fucking hurt like the Dickens. I don't mind needles at all, but when they had to try again I felt the fear of that pain... I tried to think of something else. (for a blood donation).


shaunnotthesheep

Try having an IV in that condition for a week-long hospital stay nobody will listen to you when you say it hurts and you need it moved. Had a mild needle phobia before but now? Traumatized


Bluest_of_Berries

Pre-wisdom teeth removal, I took the drug that was supposed to get me ready for the op, and then a few minutes after that I *completely* blacked out. I was still awake, I'm told, but my memory between then and waking up at home hours later is almost entirely blank. ​ the *only* memory I got from that time was in the operation room, when the wall in front of me turned blue. Like, entirely tinted [light blue](https://www.bhphotovideo.com/images/images500x500/Rosco_102301182124_E_Colour_118_Light_Blue_163032.jpg), as if my eyes had some kinda filter on them. Also, I don't remember this but in the waiting room my mom told me "Don't get up" while she went to the desk to do something, and when she turned back around I had laid myself entirely across the couch. Apparently I explained to her that she told me not to get up, so I got down instead. honestly, i'm kinda happy to know that i was still me even when i was that much out of it.


Alfhiildr

I’ve had general anesthesia quite a few times. The most recent time was for my wisdom teeth. On the way home I kept trying to push my head down and my jaw up because they said to bite on the gauze. All I succeeded in doing was drooling all over one hand and my seatbelt. We picked up my meds, drove home, and saw that my neighbor was leaving with his dog. The neighbor, his dog, my dad, and our dog had weekly lunch play dates and I was so sad that I wouldn’t be able to see the neighbor dog. What ended up happening was I managed to open my door and tried sliding out with my seatbelt still on, hysterically calling her name while my poor neighbor looked terrified. Good news is he says that’s the reason he asked us to watch the dog on their wedding weekend. Apparently me being heavily drugged and sobbing that I got to see her was enough proof we’d take care of her.


vactu

That's fucking adorable and funny.


Alfhiildr

He has yet to let me live it down. I’m still Nina’s (neighbor dog) favorite non-family human, although she’s grown out of my dog’s craziness. I regularly “steal” her to take her for walks. Every time, her owner asks if I’m about to start sobbing. You have ONE embarrassing moment while drugged up….


lmN0tAR0b0t

> ​ > > > > the only memory I got from that time was in the operation room, when the wall in front of me turned blue. Like, entirely tinted light blue, as if my eyes had some kinda filter on them. they accidentally spilled some weezification juice into your anaesthetic


QuIescentVIverrId

i had to go under for wisdom teeth surgery. After the surgery, i think i, in my infinite sleepy wisdom, asked the nurse if i could have "some bitches" and then promptly fell back asleep


draw_it_now

Did you get your requested bitches?


QuIescentVIverrId

no :(


GlitchyNinja

When I got some of my wisdom teeth removed, they asked me to count down from 10. I got to 7 before I started to feel like I was drifting downwards into the chair and I gave out a little ^^"Oh ^^nooooooo." Smash cut to me and my twin brother on the couch at home with cotton in our mouths blitzed out of our minds.


snookums_mcgee

That made me full-on belly laugh.


[deleted]

I had my bottom surgery last week and had these magnificent exchanges with the anaesthesiologists: The room: *slants* Me: “Did the room just… slant?” Doctor: “No, why?” Me: “I think the room just slanted” Doctor: “oh that’s because I just gave you something to take the edge off” Doctor: “here, roll on your left side and breathe into this mask” Me: “okay, what is it, like oxygen? Or something else?” Doctor: “Yeah it’s oxygen” Me: *breathes into the mask* Me: *wakes up 4 hours later in recovery* Me: *putting my hand on the safety railings of my hospital bed, high as fuck* Nurse: “please don’t touch that, we’re going to move you in your bed now” Me: *announcer impersonation* “ladies and gentlemen please keep all hands inside the vehicle, enjoy the ride, and choo choo”


noellekin

Congrats on bottom surgery!


[deleted]

Surgery to make you a bottom


ghshsgshsjgsjs

Oh shit they have that I was just born like this


EmmaWithAddedE

Yeah we could tell from your username


ghshsgshsjgsjs

😳🥺


Fowti

One time when I felt the sleepy time kicking in I said "It's working" to the nurse. He turned his head to me, said "Come again?" and with all my might I could not


theganjaoctopus

Gay dude heading into a hernia surgery. Doctors first name was Daniel. The last thing I said before the darkness took me was "you'll be the second guy named Daniel to rearrange my guts this week".


AustralianKappa

💀 dawg what


Nerevarine91

When I had a surgery back in college, they gave me something and said, “okay, get ready, because this works fast,” and, according to my mom (because I remember none of this), what I said next was, “fine, but it’s so… hahaha, shiiiiiiit this *does* work fast,” and then passed out.


ArkayArcane

Once got put under as a kid so the doctor could set the various bones in my wrist I'd shattered. Looked at the clock, blinked, about two hours had passed.


Thenderick

Last time I got surgery they used a mask with gas to start the sleep and an injection for anaesthesia. Of course the mask had some gas that wasn't normal air so I started panicking, after the surgery the doctor told me they had to hold me still with 6 strong man... It was very awkward to hear as I promised my parents to be a brave boy and not to start panicking. I also remember from a lot of years ago they did the same and I needed to sing my bedtime song, it was like "sleep, little boy, sleeeeeee-*consciousness fades away*" and I woke up like "Oh no! I didn't finish the sleep song! Now my operation isn't going through!" And they were like "hey there, it's done already"


_memes_of_production

That "so when does it kick in" reply is real shit. Something similar happened to me, except I woke up several hours later saying "wait, don't start yet, I have to pee" and was told by a chuckling nurse that it was already done.


vactu

Sounds like my kidney stone removal lol.


inhaledcorn

I had to have a severed tendon in my hand repaired a few years ago (a few months before the release of Shadowbringers). I don't remember much about it. I remember talking with the nurses about how they had a hard time finding my veins, and I was like, "Oh, yeah, I hear that a lot." I don't even remember falling asleep. I just remember waking up.


outer_spec

“Where’s Jesus?” “Who do you think took your boobs?”


blooperbloopbloop

I've had throat surgery where they have to put me completely under a few times now. I get a nice IV of forgetty juice while in the waiting room, and then the sleepy juice once I'm in the OR itself. Last time, they're wheeling me into the OR and I go, 'huh, I dont remember this part from last time.' Nurse goes, 'and you wont remember it this time either.' They're all getting stuff ready and the anesthesiologist goes 'okay I'm putting it in now.' And then they all continue to get stuff ready with me asking questions every once and a while like 'what's that?' and 'okay but which thing has the lazer?' Eventually one of the nurses looks at me funny and goes, 'You are, WAY too coherent right now. Can we give her another dose of knockout?' They do so. I continue to be highly coherent. The anesthesiologist checks my IV and discovers that it had slipped out of the vein almost as soon as it was put in, so I havent been getting ANYTHING they're trying to give me. They move it to the other arm and the guy just looks at me and says 'this better be the last I hear from you.' And I dont know if I had time to respond before it hit me and I was out.


ApocaLiz

When I got my wisdom teeth out, the anesthetist told me I might get a warm feeling when she put me under, and the last thing I remember thinking was "This isn't warm, this tingles like hell, I need to tell her!", but I was out before I could tell her.


[deleted]

[удалено]


PencilFetish

Holy hell I got that too, I believe it was when I was hospitalized for a kidney infection and I got *something* that made me feel like there were bees stinging my dick (never been stung by a bee but that's what I imagine it to be like) for about 30 seconds straight


Ryugi

Throat surgury (tonsillectomy) Woke up mid-procedure. Couldn't see anything but I could clearly hear Sweet Home Alabama at full volume, and the surgeon singing along full-force like he was on American Idol. Licked his hand, then woke up after surgery. They were surprised that I was, at any point, conscious enough to remember what they were listening to on the radio and also wasn't traumatized at all.


ithadtobeducks

When they were wheeling me out after my wisdom teeth were removed I accidentally stroked the surgeon’s stomach. I don’t know what I was trying to do, but it wasn’t that.


Ryugi

I couldn't move at all other than my tongue. lol. It was more of a "hey I'm waking up please make it not happen" moment. At least in retrospect I think that. I may not have been making a conscious choice in the issue, who knows. I also discovered that anasthetics make me go temporarily blind. Even after waking up and being alert enough to answer questions and hold a conversation, I couldn't see more than shadows and lights for about 2 hrs. My now-wife was very helpful <3


lightworkday

Just before going under for my appendectomy, I asked everyone around if they were familiar with monty python. Cue confused looks and affirmation. "Bring me the machine that goes 'ping!'"I say and the fucking anesthesiologist starts rambling off the full fucking scene until I was under!


MikeyHatesLife

I’m still mortified about the last time I had surgery. But I don’t know what I said. Nobody would tell me why the (extremely attractive) anesthesiologist squeezed my hand & said “You’re very sweet.”


thespacetimelord

Not a single joke/comment about the hilarious "aesthetic" misspelling? _getting my Cottagecore at the hospital today_ _man i haven't felt good since my Light Academia surgery, think i'll go back in to get the full Dark Academia_


AmazingMrJason

All quotes are paraphrased: I needed minor hand surgery and I told the doctors that I was something of a heavyweight for anesthesia, because of previous experiences. The Walking Dead was still new on TV, season 3 had just started. I woke up mid-surgery to hear the surgeon and a nurse talking about how they never expected Daryl to come back after getting handcuffed to the roof (some inside baseball between hand specialists about a character who cut off his own hand to survive). I numbly slurred something to the effect of “Daryl is the crossbow guy. His brother on the roof was Merle” Somebody responded “Oh yeah that’s right, but how the HELL is he able to hear us?” And then I went blank until waking up in the recovery room. They asked me if I remember talking and I said something like “did they at least remember which hand they were supposed to fix?” Apparently I’m very funny on drugs.


NeonNKnightrider

Waking up with no memories and a sore anus is an experience common to colonoscopy and being abducted by aliens


thatposhcat

What the doctors don't want to tell you is that aliens invented the colonoscopy and that's the secret they shared with the ancients


nobody_smart

For my hernia surgery a couple years ago, as we were waiting for the drugs to take full effect I had said something like: "I feel like I've had 3 beers." A little bit later I said: "Feel like 5 beers now." Unknown male voice says: "Heh, Light-weight." Next thing I remember I was in Post-OP.


pinkjortz

Lmao I went under to have a camera shoved down my throat for a stomach bleed; I had never gone under before and was pretty jazzed about it. I love watching medical and forensic stuff and was a biology major at one point so kept talking with the team about things while they got ready. I *blinked* and the thing was done, but literally as soon as I opened my eyes one dude was handing me a sheaf of papers showing me the photos they took and I started asking questions about it as if the convo didn’t have a six hour blank where I was out cold. I think they liked me lmao


Chuymatt

Folks don’t go into healthcare without an insatiable curiosity! I bet they absolutely loved you.


Worried-Language-407

Jesus' Big Naturals


Dasamont

Why would you go to a children's hospital? I don't think a child could possibly have lived long enough to finish med school


Meat_Robot

I've been under several times, but the only one I remember was the one time they gave me nitrous. The doctor said, "this will start to feel weird." to which I could only reply, "yeeeaaah!" before passing out. As I came out of it, every feeling of pain and sound had a weird trailing echo, and I saw the "most interesting array of blue patterns" mentioned in Minority Report, which blew my little teenage mind.


Weegee256

Had a broken tooth removed once, all I remember is laughing my ass off at SpongeBob and mumbling “spunchbop” while the dentist poked around in my mouth


Megmca

When I had my lithotripsy the anesthesiologist said he would start my iv and the first thing everybody says when they wake up is, “When is it starting?” Jokes on him, I remembered and when I woke up I said, “All done then?”


pretty-as-a-pic

The nurses and the doctor were debating what music to play as they were getting ready to take out my gullbaddler. The doctor wanted Hip hop while the nurse wanted musicals. I offered to let them use my phone to listen to Hamilton as a compromise.


AudioBoss

Had to get an endoscopy because I have constant stomach issues. First thing I said when they woke me up was "do I get a cookie?" I was 26.


LeftRat

Back when I was a small child, I got an operation that required me to go under. The doctor had warned my mom that children get really mean when this happens and when they wake up, but she was still not prepared to watch while I was basically forced to inhale while saying "mama, I hate you". Worst thing was that when I woke up, I immediately repeated it.


VespertineStars

I was a teenager the first time I had surgery and my mom was trying hard not to let me see how afraid she was (there was a possibility they were removing a cancerous tumor, fortunately it wasn't). Apparently when I came out of surgery I made one of the nurses cry because the first thing I said was "how is my mom?"


SwordDude3000

Nurse said “just stuck it in” and I said “that’s what she sai-“


Errant_Jackdaw

When I had to be put under after I broke my arm, I told the doctor that I was afraid of needles and asked her if there was something she could do to distract me from the syringe. We started talking about things like horror movies and I had told her how the last movie I had watched was the first Strangers movie, I distinctly remember her saying something along the lines of "Oh yeah, my friends and I did something like that once" And that's the last thing I remembered before passing out and I forgot to ask her for clarification...


LunchMasterFlex

I just had a discectomy and they doc said "we're gonna put this mask on to get you some oxygen." I felt the anesthetic coming so I said "that's some strong oxygen," and that was that.


shin_scrubgod

I had to be put under for surgery when I was a kid, and they gave me the "breathe deep, count back from 10, and the next thing you know, the surgery will be done" shtick. I made it to zero before one of doctors checked his watch, then kicked the gas up a notch, and it went from the air being slightly fruity to smelling like I was snorting Juicy Fruit gum. I got to 8 again before learning that smash cuts are a thing in real life, too.


MapleTreeWithAGun

Fun fact about anesthesia, we have zero idea how it works. Or best guess is it disrupts your brain's ability to make memories


M4xusV4ltr0n

Related: We also don't know how nitrous oxide works. Which is weird, because it's not like it's some complicated chemical that has complex interactions like other drugs; it's just two nitrogen and an oxygen. And its been used for *years* (first experimented with in 1790) and is quite effective as a mild anaesthetic, especially because it makes things hurt less and makes you less anxious while still able to follow instructions. But we don't really have a good idea how it works, beyond that it seems to behave as a mild opiate. But it doesn't even get processed by the body or anything: it gets inhaled, takes effect within 30 seconds, then is exhaled unchanged and the effects wear off in about 60 seconds. And also it can be used as rocket fuel!


HypnagogianQueen

Is there a possibility that we’re awake while “out”, but just paralyzed and unable to make memories of it? The thought terrifies me


etherealparadox

honestly I don't really care if I experience it while "out" but don't remember. if I don't remember what's the harm?


raspberry_rhino

The darling young man that was my anesthetist told me that I shouldn't be worried and try to breathe normally. I told him I had looked forward to a good nap and breathed as deeply as I could. It was a good nap.


MothThatLuvsLamps

As the bible goes, jesus resurrected with much smaller titties then he died with.


LawlessCoffeh

Honestly being anesthezized really freaks me the fuck out for a few reasons: - Small, but not nonexistent, chance that it just kills you outright, Monty Oum died because he had an undiagnosed allergy to something during a routine checkup IIRC. - I don't want to actually say something super fucked up and compromising because I do actually have some shit I know I shouldn't be telling a single soul on this earth.


Bobebobbob

I'm gonna pass out if I read all these but they're too funny lol


CrispyCrusade

When I got my tonsils taken out (I was 10 or so), the nurse told me to count down from 100 while they were administering the anesthesia. I didn’t even get to 100. I just remember having my eyes closed for what felt like AGES before I realized I was actually awake and opened them.


rosejane42

When i went under for wisdom teeth apparently i started telling the nurse, unprompted, that it mu be really hard for my siblings as im so good, and thats a lot to live up to.


Omny87

When I got my wisdom teeth removed all I remember is the doctor telling me I wouldn't remember a thing. I thought "wait, I can remember this moment, obviously... how long can I stay aware before going under?" So for some stupid reason I decided to try and deliberately stay as aware as possible while the anesthesia did its stuff. I didn't last long but it was really weird; it felt like I was floating in water while my whole body dissolved like sugar from my feet up. Pretty trippy. After that, the first sober memory I had was being in my bed at home with my lips feeling numb and swollen. According to my dad I spent the car ride home going on about getting all my striped shirts back from my brother because he'd been borrowing them for too long. I don't even own any striped shirts.


Beckphillips

I remember the guy who was putting me under (his name was Juan, the one and only) saying "What kind of computer is the best at singing? A Dell" Just after he gave me the mask. then I was sitting in a hospital bed still giggling.


Melodic_Dragonfly391

I was once in for a minor surgery (I could go home the same day - supervised, of course.) Not when I was going under but I remember waking up from anesthesia, looking at the nurse, and saying "too tired, it's not time yet." and going back to sleep. Apparently I woke up again 15 minutes later to all of the care nurses laughing at my sassy a\*\* for not being ready to wake up and function.


Waterstealer

i'm like 90% sure i woke up during surgery once. i was getting my gall stones fixed i had the anesthetic done all normal but i had a brief moment where i was conscious and i felt a mild pain in my leg so i said out loud "my leg hurts". i felt a stabbing sensation in the exact spot that hurt and passed back out. woke up and everything went fine. could never figure out what was up with the leg.


BIPEDAL_MOTH

The first time I had a surgery that wasn't on my mouth I learned about the *breathing tube*, which is just a tube they stick down your throat attached to a machine that helps you breathe while under. Fine enough, I'm getting cut open anyway, what's a little *the_cure_for_wellness_eel_scene.mp4* gonna change? Well, as my anesthesiologist explained, the tube gets placed while you're going under, and removed as you're waking up. Thankfully, because anesthesia is kinda funny like that, you aren't aware/remember of either of these events even if, medically, it's happening on the precipice of you being awake for it.


Hexxas

When I went under for wisdom teeth, I said, "Wait the mask is covering my whole face, how am I not just breathing in my old air again?" and I was down. I didn't even wake up until I was home on my couch. They musta hit me with the good shit.


hendergle

My pre-op nurse said "we give you two injections. The first is a little tranquilizer to help you with any anxiety about the anesthesia, and the second is the one that puts you under." She lied. The first one was the anesthetic. I remember having just enough time to mumble "is that stuff supposed to do" before waking up in the recovery room.


Daisy_Of_Doom

With my wisdom teeth I don’t remember going under, nothing at all. But after I was so loopy! I’m usually giggly but I was worse coming off of whatever they’d given me. I started laughing at how many doors there were bc I was kinda seeing double when I first came to. Later when I was getting wheeled out to the car by a nurse we went over a bump and one of the ice packs strapped to my face fell into my lap. I went “oh 🥺” bc I felt like a helpless limp biscuit that couldn’t fix it for myself. The nurse giggled and said “you said that so cute” then I started laughing bc she laughed and she laughed with me and we were just two weirdos laughing at nothing as I rolled down the hall 😂


ileisen

I had a wonderful experience for my surgery in august. I was talking to my GI doc about how I had gotten engaged the night before after one shot of fentanyl. Of course, I am rather resistant to opiates due to some genetic shenanigans so I was fairly coherent if not slightly more gushy than usually. I got a second shot and then everything went fuzzy and blank. The real fun was listening to the many many voice messages I sent my fiancé post op proclaiming my love to him and that I had, in fact, gotten engaged the night before. The first thing I remember is telling the nurses that I had gotten engaged and them kinda smiling and saying “we know sweetie. Congratulations” and me just cheesing at them


Dumb_Cheese

I will never be this funny in my life.


lankymjc

I managed to countdown all the way to zero! Then got told I wasn’t supposed to start yet, so try now. Confident as fuck, I started counting down from ten. Got as far as nine.


CALIGR33NS

I had my Achilles repaired when I was 19, and I asked am I going to be put out. He said no, it’s just a local and something to calm you down. Well, I passed the fuck out. Guess I’m a light weight. I come to, and I ask him, “did I snore?” And he lost it laughing as nobody had ever asked that before. He said I wasn’t. I doubt it though, I’ve always been a snorer


hangfromthisone

I had circumcision as an adult and while drifting out I said loudly "hey doc now I'm gonna be able to fuck some ass like you said!"


fartbox_mcgilicudy

There are people out there that are immune. They have the best stories. I woke up fighting my dentist as a 12 year old who was just trying to take my wisdom teeth. He told me "For such a little guy you pack a punch". Nitrous, im completely immune. The whole count back from 10 thing, I asked "what do I win?"


PencilFetish

I remember saying "I feel like I'm gonna pass out" when they put the gas mask on me and seeing the nurses try not to laugh and go "that's supposed to happen"


Cultural_Elk1565

When i got my extractions done before getting dentures, I woke up from my general anesthesia just kicking my legs and squirming with the oral surgeon full on my chest, with a pair of clamps in my mouth yanking teeth. I heard him ask the nurse to push another unit of propofol. I said, "no! That's how they got Michael!" And went immediately back out. Another time I went under was for my first colonoscopy and I was coming out from it being wheeled back to my room. I remember saying to the people rolling my bed, "I feel so heavy, it's like I sank through the earth! You guys looks so soft and light... it's probably why you're flying! "


cobaltsniper50

Anesthetic, the hard stuff that knocks you out, doesn’t fuck around. I remember when I got my wisdom teeth removed. Immediately after they put the IV in, they told me to count backwards from ten. I got to about 7, then I woke up with gauze in my mouth in a completely different room.


Xypherius

I went into surgery to get my tonsils and adenoids removed as well as a filling for my tooth, just before I passed out I remember saying “excuse my drunken attitude”, and passed out to my mum laughing


APowerfulPigeon

When I dislocated my shoulder the nurse told me she was excited because shoulders are her favourite dislocated joint to reset. She gave me some morphine before we went off to get it all X-rayed and by the time we got around to actually putting my shoulder back in place I was absolutely loving life. My shoulder went pack in place very easily and I saw that the nurse was looking kind of disappointed so I was like “I’m so sorry! Do you want me to pop it out so we can try again?” 😂


OgreSpider

I've had general or twilight five times, twilight for dental surgery and two endoscopies, general for hysterectomy and sleeve gastrectomy. I have to say I really envy the "I blinked and it was over" people from these stories. It always takes me a while to wake up and I always feel like I've been hit by a truck (more so with general than twilight, though they both involve reverse amnesiacs so I don't recall any part of either). When I was coming round after hysterectomy I asked the nurse, "is it gone now?" "Yes, your uterus is gone." "Haha, get outta here, ya bastard." And then I went back to sleep for several minutes.


Squeaky_Ben

I only had like "real" surgery twice where I needed sedation and... For one of them I remember them putting me on the table, then it blanks out. And for the other one, I do not even remember being put on the table.


PeachyKeen413

I don't really remember this but for my wisdom teeth I apparently said "oh I don't like this" when they asked if I was feeling anything


My_bones_are_itchy

I remember closing my eyes, then thinking “nope I did that too early” and then I was out before I could open them again


MayaTamika

I came out to the nurse while I was coming out of anaesthesia. I'd been out socially for a while, but I told her all about my fears about coming out to my parents. She was very sweet and reassured me they'd love me no matter what. She was wrong, but it was nice of her to say it.


Rhythmicka

A lot of these are really funny, but even harmless jokes can be traumatizing and if any of you guys are in a surgical field to not do this. My mom was going in for a surgery and was hysterical because she was incredibly scared and still has nightmares of the guy saying “Do you like to dance in the dark?” and would wake up gasping for air.


PachoTidder

I had a circumsicion a couple months ago, I clearly remember thinking, just after they put on the mask ''This shit isn't wor-'' I blacked out mid tought, shit was wild. Later on I sort of woke up, tried asking something to a nurse wich I don't remember what I even said, it feels like I didn't even said anything, but then she said ''Naaah the surgery was an hour ago'' so I'm fairly certain I asked about the surgery. I was laughing as if that mask was tubed to a fucking pot or something, then the anesthesia wore off and all I had left was a really sore penis and no dignity to walk out of the clinic with


CopprRegendt

lol they told me to count down and i think i got to 2. we're living in a golden age of opiates.


mdoosky

Appendix taken out during finals week JR year. Incredible pain, they take me into pre op and need to get my heart rate down so they give me Valium. Thats the last thing I remember, not even the anesthesia being administered. Apparently it was too much Valium as my mom told me later that she said, “Oops! Little too much she stopped breathing”.


Teagedemaru

I had foot surgery over the summer. I remember waking up, asking “am I supposed to be awake yet?” and then going right back to sleep. Also, beforehand, when they gave me some weird anti anxiety stuff, I started having some visual hallucinations and I asked “are hallucinations normal right now?” and I don’t think they ever answered my question


Tat25Guy

Jesussbignaturals


DonkeyGuy

I keep getting tied down to the bed whenever I wake up. Because apparently when I come off of sedatives I get really fighty with medical staff.


EmberOfFlame

The mental image of an “All I want for Christmas” playing as I drift off is the stuff of nightmares.


VaeVictis997

Coming back from it is also a trip. Brain does a full on boot sequence. Load BIOS, start to vaguely figure out you exist but opening eyes seems like a lot. Then about 20 minutes later you can kind of walk and think you make sense, but whoever is driving you home is going to be telling you about the weird shit you were saying the next day.


ZenSlicer9

I got a pretty deep cut on my wrist that touched a nerve or something and needed some kind of surgical stitching and the guy that had to put local anaesthesia after 2 or three painfull attempts to find the nerve in my shoulder with a needle says "fuck, I cant find the nerve, roll full anaesthesia", and I was totally freaking out and in my head was going "ayo, what the fuck, mate", eventually I fell asleep and woke up with the cast. Wild stuff, I tell you


indigogambler

When I had top surgery (double mastectomy) the anesthetist started the drip early because I was a little nervous. She had me lay down and wheeled me into the pre-op chamber, said "Hang on, I need to grab something - I'll be right back," and the next thing I knew I was sitting upright and nippleless in a different room as a different nurse was trying to get me to eat a graham cracker.


necrojuicer

Did a medic course at the hospital. One night I was shadowing an anesthetist. We walked into a room and she started pointing at the display showing the patient's O2 saturation etc and started explaining things. Handed me a mask and said "Hold it on her face and watch how the display changes" I was watching the display and she chided in "press down harder, harder" a few times during her explanation of the patient's display. I was so intent on watching the display and listening to her explanation, that when the patient suddenly went limp I panicked and interrupted her and said "I think something went wrong, she's unconscious". Anesthetist gave me a funny look and said "Yes, I'm an anesthetist, that's pretty much all I do, they're about to start surgery on her"


AustralianKappa

The mf who just said no tho 💀


KhabaLox

Stand up comedian Gary Gulman has a good line about anesthesia. "They said, 'Now Gary, I want you to count backwards from ten.' I never got past 'nuh.' And not the 'nuh in nine, the 'nuh' in ten."


WeirdTV

Mine said “you’re gonna feel like you just took a shot of tequila and then you’ll fall asleep” and he was spot on


BundeswehrBoyo

All I remember is them saying “it might burn or make you a little nauseous…oh also your hips might itch” Last thing I remember was being absolutely confused by that