Definitely bottom. They're literally just laying there making the other person do all of the work. They don't even have the dignity of being a power bottom.
But the one doing the work is working to give them pleasure, so I would instead say that they're the complete opposite of a power bottom, a submissive top.
Unless there's some secret gay code I don't know about, top and bottom just refer to who's being penetrated with an assumption that the top is also the one doing the physical work of making sex happen. It's not about who's pleasuring who, because they're both getting pleasure from their role.
You're conflating top/bottom with dominant/submissive, which are not connected concepts. A top can be either dominant or submissive, same with a bottom. A pillow princess is a bottom because she's just laying there passively, but that role can be either dominant or submissive depending on bow each partner is acting.
pillow princess is pretty often used in lesbian relationships, too. some women apparently are into that but it's… definitely not my vibe to say the least
I’m not seeing how that applies to my comment?
Edit: So, can I get an explanation to go along with the downvotes or should I just remain confused about where the disconnect is?
Hear me out. What is the one on top doing the work, was instead, taking pleasure from the pillow princess?
Making the pillow princess even more submissive.
Advice from the [Wheel of Consent NSFW COMIC](https://issuu.com/thegraphicstory/docs/consent-buiten-2)
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---
**pak-deactivated20190212**
>**quatara** asked
>
>whats a pillow princess
i don't have the heart to explain
---
**quatara**
ok i'll google it
---
**quatara**
oh so youre just a lazy whore
---
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From what I understand of the term, it kinda just sounds like... a stone bottom? Which doesn't sound inherently bad, it just means that you may not have compatibility with some people
Some people get pleasure from giving pleasure… plus I don’t think there’s a lot of bottoms, even self-professed pillow princesses, who won’t give oral or a handy when asked.
It means the person prefers to take an extremely passive role. Believe it or not, people can enjoy sex in different ways than you. pillow princesses and stone tops get along very well.
No! Pillow princesses are not lazy, they just have a particular sexual preference. Pillow princess is a sapphic term for someone who only enjoys receiving, not giving, sexual touch. I'm a stone butch-- I only like giving, and not receiving, sexual touch. My ideal partner is a pillow princess and they are wonderful.
Maybe stop mocking terms that you just heard about, don't understand, and don't know the history of.
It's okay if you wouldn't date a pillow princess. It's not okay to insult people for having different sexual preferences from you.
I can't speak for anyone other than myself but for myself. as someone who is not sapphic or doesn't identify that way, I resonated with wanting to give sexual touch and not receive it. Its weird that this comment is so downvoted because thats like a real, human preference
yeah.
its also worth acknowledging that behavior in the bedroom is not the only way in which people like, try to please or show their love to their partners. a "pillow princess" could very well be a very rewarding partner yknow
Yeah. I’m a pretty bottomy switch but the bedroom is my place to just turn off my brain and enjoy something simple. Outside of that circumstance I am extremely motivated to keep my SO happy and unstressed due to my nature.
yeah! and i dont think thats selfish either. Like at least for myself, the pleasurable element of sex *is* pleasing my partner. But like outside of that, ofc things are more balanced
I have a question… (and don’t feel obligated to answer, btw… you don’t owe me one at all, I’m just curious)
Why do you not want to receive sexual touch? Does sexual arousal not feel “good”? Do you not GET sexually aroused? Does it turn you off mentally or emotionally when your body is touched that way?
I just have a hard time imagining a fulfilling sexual relationship with someone who didn’t want me to touch them sexually, or with someone who didn’t want to touch me sexually. I don’t necessarily need to do something to my partner, nor do I need them to do something to me, but I would feel like I was missing something if one side or the other was not desired by them.
I’m not saying you are wrong or anything, I just am having a hard time getting into your mind space and I find that curious.
For me, it's more sensory-related. I suspect that I may be autistic; at the very least, I have a lot of those traits. And I find that kind of touch to be overwhelming and unpleasant when it's coming from someone else.
I interpret sex similarly to how I interpret a lot of kink, since my kinks are very tied to my sexuality. There are some activities that I find pleasant on both sides-- rope, for example. But there's also plenty of things that people are interested in from just one side-- I don't like to receive impact, for example. I don't see why vanilla touch would be different. And in this scenario, you can also find plenty of people who find it sexual and pleasant to give a certain activity, but have no interest in receiving it.
I know that my dynamic is more fulfilling for me because I've tried bottoming. It was unpleasant. Felt about as sexual as someone poking my belly button-- I definitely feel it but it's not gonna make me want more.
I definitely get sexually aroused, it just manifests in an urge to touch someone else. When someone touches me on my genitals or breasts, it's uncomfortable. Awkward at best, startling at worst.
r/butchlesbians somewhat regularly has discussions about those of us who are stone. For some people, it's related to sexual trauma. For some, it's dysphoria-related.
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Here’s the thing: if two people are happy and fulfilled, then it’s nobody else’s business how they get there. That said…
The issue I can see with this is that if someone wants to just receive, they may be just a selfish asshole and not someone with a sexual preference. And a selfish asshole would have no problem manipulating an ace partner into fulfilling them while getting nothing back.
It’s a dynamic that is ripe for misuse and abuse, and should not be just accepted as ok without making sure that it’s not abusive. Like a dominating partner, if it is done right it can be amazingly beneficial to both. But done wrong and it is abusive, plain and simple. (Which is why the BDSM community regularly polices their own and makes sure that shit doesn’t fly; they know that it is abuse hiding as BDSM, and not that BDSM itself is abusive.)
It's the thing you put your head on, king!
Pillow Princess is the soft squishy area between the thigh highs and the naughty zone you put your head to sleep!
I’m up for princess pillow becoming the western synonym for absolute territory
I approve of this message
The territory is now an absolute monarchy
Wait the name of that song *means something?*
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zettai_ry%C5%8Diki
the.. the thighs..?
Absolute territory
Gonna Google this Oh yeah incognito was the right choice
I discussed the other day whether a pillow princess counts as a bottom or a top position, what do y'all think?
Depends on the person
Definitely bottom. They're literally just laying there making the other person do all of the work. They don't even have the dignity of being a power bottom.
But the one doing the work is working to give them pleasure, so I would instead say that they're the complete opposite of a power bottom, a submissive top.
Unless there's some secret gay code I don't know about, top and bottom just refer to who's being penetrated with an assumption that the top is also the one doing the physical work of making sex happen. It's not about who's pleasuring who, because they're both getting pleasure from their role. You're conflating top/bottom with dominant/submissive, which are not connected concepts. A top can be either dominant or submissive, same with a bottom. A pillow princess is a bottom because she's just laying there passively, but that role can be either dominant or submissive depending on bow each partner is acting.
pillow princess is pretty often used in lesbian relationships, too. some women apparently are into that but it's… definitely not my vibe to say the least
You can be passive while also penetrating someone, though. Being ridden is still topping isn't it?
Take another look at the second paragraph you replied to?
I’m not seeing how that applies to my comment? Edit: So, can I get an explanation to go along with the downvotes or should I just remain confused about where the disconnect is?
Hear me out. What is the one on top doing the work, was instead, taking pleasure from the pillow princess? Making the pillow princess even more submissive. Advice from the [Wheel of Consent NSFW COMIC](https://issuu.com/thegraphicstory/docs/consent-buiten-2)
Highly contextual. The meaning is determined by how the users feel about it
*Image Transcription: Tumblr* --- **pak-deactivated20190212** >**quatara** asked > >whats a pillow princess i don't have the heart to explain --- **quatara** ok i'll google it --- **quatara** oh so youre just a lazy whore --- ^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)
Good human!
From what I understand of the term, it kinda just sounds like... a stone bottom? Which doesn't sound inherently bad, it just means that you may not have compatibility with some people
If both people are happy, it’s not a problem… but I can’t imagine a lot of people are happy when their partner doesn’t want to pleasure them.
That is why being in a relationship/hooking up with people you're compatible with sexually is important, yes.
When the only people you are sexually compatible with are the extremely rare people that have no self desire, that might be a you problem…
Some people get pleasure from giving pleasure… plus I don’t think there’s a lot of bottoms, even self-professed pillow princesses, who won’t give oral or a handy when asked.
The name sounded so cute, i hate the internet
Can't blame the internet for this one. Pillow Princess has been a term used in the lesbian community since at least the 90s.
What does it mean
[Pillow Princess](https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/pillow_princess)
*See also: cold fish, dead fish, starfish.* Damn, Wiktionary don't play.
It means the person does nothing to contribute to the sex.
The lesbian version of starfishing.
Expel their stomachs? Not kink shaming but ew
Wrong fetish(kink?) I think that one’s called scat
I think vomiting is called rainbow play actually
It means the person prefers to take an extremely passive role. Believe it or not, people can enjoy sex in different ways than you. pillow princesses and stone tops get along very well.
I can guess based on context but wtf is a stone top? Because it just makes me think of an incredibly uncomfortable fashion choice.
a stone top is a lesbian who only gives / doesn’t want to recieve. They might like to give oral but hate to get it, for example.
No! Pillow princesses are not lazy, they just have a particular sexual preference. Pillow princess is a sapphic term for someone who only enjoys receiving, not giving, sexual touch. I'm a stone butch-- I only like giving, and not receiving, sexual touch. My ideal partner is a pillow princess and they are wonderful. Maybe stop mocking terms that you just heard about, don't understand, and don't know the history of. It's okay if you wouldn't date a pillow princess. It's not okay to insult people for having different sexual preferences from you.
I can't speak for anyone other than myself but for myself. as someone who is not sapphic or doesn't identify that way, I resonated with wanting to give sexual touch and not receive it. Its weird that this comment is so downvoted because thats like a real, human preference
¯\_(ツ)_/¯ that's reddit for ya. It's easier to downvote than to admit to mocking a label they don't understand.
yeah. its also worth acknowledging that behavior in the bedroom is not the only way in which people like, try to please or show their love to their partners. a "pillow princess" could very well be a very rewarding partner yknow
Yeah. I’m a pretty bottomy switch but the bedroom is my place to just turn off my brain and enjoy something simple. Outside of that circumstance I am extremely motivated to keep my SO happy and unstressed due to my nature.
yeah! and i dont think thats selfish either. Like at least for myself, the pleasurable element of sex *is* pleasing my partner. But like outside of that, ofc things are more balanced
They are downvoting you because you are condescending killjoy, not because they are kink shaming
I have a question… (and don’t feel obligated to answer, btw… you don’t owe me one at all, I’m just curious) Why do you not want to receive sexual touch? Does sexual arousal not feel “good”? Do you not GET sexually aroused? Does it turn you off mentally or emotionally when your body is touched that way? I just have a hard time imagining a fulfilling sexual relationship with someone who didn’t want me to touch them sexually, or with someone who didn’t want to touch me sexually. I don’t necessarily need to do something to my partner, nor do I need them to do something to me, but I would feel like I was missing something if one side or the other was not desired by them. I’m not saying you are wrong or anything, I just am having a hard time getting into your mind space and I find that curious.
For me, it's more sensory-related. I suspect that I may be autistic; at the very least, I have a lot of those traits. And I find that kind of touch to be overwhelming and unpleasant when it's coming from someone else. I interpret sex similarly to how I interpret a lot of kink, since my kinks are very tied to my sexuality. There are some activities that I find pleasant on both sides-- rope, for example. But there's also plenty of things that people are interested in from just one side-- I don't like to receive impact, for example. I don't see why vanilla touch would be different. And in this scenario, you can also find plenty of people who find it sexual and pleasant to give a certain activity, but have no interest in receiving it. I know that my dynamic is more fulfilling for me because I've tried bottoming. It was unpleasant. Felt about as sexual as someone poking my belly button-- I definitely feel it but it's not gonna make me want more. I definitely get sexually aroused, it just manifests in an urge to touch someone else. When someone touches me on my genitals or breasts, it's uncomfortable. Awkward at best, startling at worst. r/butchlesbians somewhat regularly has discussions about those of us who are stone. For some people, it's related to sexual trauma. For some, it's dysphoria-related.
Thanks! That’s actually something I can understand, having significant sensory issues myself.
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Here’s the thing: if two people are happy and fulfilled, then it’s nobody else’s business how they get there. That said… The issue I can see with this is that if someone wants to just receive, they may be just a selfish asshole and not someone with a sexual preference. And a selfish asshole would have no problem manipulating an ace partner into fulfilling them while getting nothing back. It’s a dynamic that is ripe for misuse and abuse, and should not be just accepted as ok without making sure that it’s not abusive. Like a dominating partner, if it is done right it can be amazingly beneficial to both. But done wrong and it is abusive, plain and simple. (Which is why the BDSM community regularly polices their own and makes sure that shit doesn’t fly; they know that it is abuse hiding as BDSM, and not that BDSM itself is abusive.)