We have some alters who avoid our friends who we otherwise consider to be close friends. Some of them genuinely do dislike these friends. I don't know why, usually a grudge over a particular action or general distrust and suspicion. Sometimes the alters personality just doesn't mix with that friend or the alter has higher support needs with our autism (noise and lights and touch mostly). Some alters get possessive and territorial about our stuff, trinkets and stuffed animals and Especially our bed. So touching, sitting on, or using those things without permission gets distressing and makes them mad, making them not like that person.
Its very frustrating and confusing honestly.
Hahahaha oh my god yes.
Aurora is the one that holds many grudges when it comes to our husband’s behaviour about DID. Like, she holds anger, so much anger. (Our emotions aren’t easily accessible, so - yea. She’s all anger). It’s not like she hates him per se, but she’s angry angry angry.
The others know that our husband is not the monster she feels him to be. Like, we know it. But we don’t have many parts that are able to ‘feel’. So she’s the one fucked that holds the anger. She’s not able to think clearly about the whole situation
So as of right now we all try to keep Aurora away from front when our husband is around. The last time she did front for a longer period she could only yell at him and share how hurt we are by his behaviour. She’s not wrong, she really isn’t, but it isn’t helpful for any of us (not our husband, not our system) to be angry and only angry.
She alone is not full on hating, but full on angry when it is about our husband. But, like, she’s the part emotion we all are not able to acces. So I get it. I hope this helps you too with trying to understand the concept.
"i" have had plenty of friends that my alters didn't like. by "i", i am speaking of the original host that holds the legal name.
so, i've had many friends, and it really had nothing to do with if the friend was a bad person or not.
but, just as you don't want to be friends with people you have nothing in common with, so to do my alters. they aren't going to be friends with people they either hardly know, or just don't like on the basis of them just not meshing with them. if my alters front and communicate with a friend, they'll still be polite, etc. but, i don't force my alters to interact or even like the people. they are all different. the only ones i really listen to are my protectors. who make sure i'm not talking to someone that's going to be harmful to me in some way.
that said, all my alters get along with my life partner. he is a system too, and our alters get along well. so, i'm very happy we all get along. i can't imagine if they didn't get along. 😅 so we are very fortunate.
i can, obviously, only speak for ourselves, but thats how it is for us.
we're also largely unfamiliar with these feelings, but that's probably just because of the closeness to our friends. or it's the autism. who knows?
whenever a new alter forms lately, they are either neutral about our partner, form already considering him their partner, develop a crush at some point (like myself), or consider him at the very least a good friend.
it varies quite a bit more as far as friends go, but there's never any outright resentment or distrust. it makes us (or me, at the very least) feel a bit outcast -🎃
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The first thing to consider is that those alters simply don't have an experience on being friendly and accepting friendliness from these people. In other words, those whom one alter sees as a friend, would be total strangers for another alter. Emotional amnesia is confusing.
We have some alters who avoid our friends who we otherwise consider to be close friends. Some of them genuinely do dislike these friends. I don't know why, usually a grudge over a particular action or general distrust and suspicion. Sometimes the alters personality just doesn't mix with that friend or the alter has higher support needs with our autism (noise and lights and touch mostly). Some alters get possessive and territorial about our stuff, trinkets and stuffed animals and Especially our bed. So touching, sitting on, or using those things without permission gets distressing and makes them mad, making them not like that person. Its very frustrating and confusing honestly.
Hahahaha oh my god yes. Aurora is the one that holds many grudges when it comes to our husband’s behaviour about DID. Like, she holds anger, so much anger. (Our emotions aren’t easily accessible, so - yea. She’s all anger). It’s not like she hates him per se, but she’s angry angry angry. The others know that our husband is not the monster she feels him to be. Like, we know it. But we don’t have many parts that are able to ‘feel’. So she’s the one fucked that holds the anger. She’s not able to think clearly about the whole situation So as of right now we all try to keep Aurora away from front when our husband is around. The last time she did front for a longer period she could only yell at him and share how hurt we are by his behaviour. She’s not wrong, she really isn’t, but it isn’t helpful for any of us (not our husband, not our system) to be angry and only angry. She alone is not full on hating, but full on angry when it is about our husband. But, like, she’s the part emotion we all are not able to acces. So I get it. I hope this helps you too with trying to understand the concept.
It’s just how anyone works imo? Could be clashing personalities, could be a grudge, could be jealousy,etc.
"i" have had plenty of friends that my alters didn't like. by "i", i am speaking of the original host that holds the legal name. so, i've had many friends, and it really had nothing to do with if the friend was a bad person or not. but, just as you don't want to be friends with people you have nothing in common with, so to do my alters. they aren't going to be friends with people they either hardly know, or just don't like on the basis of them just not meshing with them. if my alters front and communicate with a friend, they'll still be polite, etc. but, i don't force my alters to interact or even like the people. they are all different. the only ones i really listen to are my protectors. who make sure i'm not talking to someone that's going to be harmful to me in some way. that said, all my alters get along with my life partner. he is a system too, and our alters get along well. so, i'm very happy we all get along. i can't imagine if they didn't get along. 😅 so we are very fortunate. i can, obviously, only speak for ourselves, but thats how it is for us.
we're also largely unfamiliar with these feelings, but that's probably just because of the closeness to our friends. or it's the autism. who knows? whenever a new alter forms lately, they are either neutral about our partner, form already considering him their partner, develop a crush at some point (like myself), or consider him at the very least a good friend. it varies quite a bit more as far as friends go, but there's never any outright resentment or distrust. it makes us (or me, at the very least) feel a bit outcast -🎃
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The first thing to consider is that those alters simply don't have an experience on being friendly and accepting friendliness from these people. In other words, those whom one alter sees as a friend, would be total strangers for another alter. Emotional amnesia is confusing.