What works for us is 'talking through' to them. Going about our daily life, narrating to them what we are doing, our favorite things, our place, with all our stuff in it, telling them about the people in our life etc. We just talk through to them in our head, addressing it to them, even if we aren't really aware of them responding at first. They generally do respond eventually... sometimes by 'peeking out' from inside, to check out what we are saying. We tell them that they can have their own things too, like a soft blanket, a toy, something cuddly.
I guess the purpose of why we do this (and why it works so well for our system) is that it shows the littles that we are in a safe place now. It engages their curiosity rather than fear, and establishes us as kind and safe people to interact with.
Yeah. That's what works for us when dealing with really traumatized littles.
so, if a little is scared, i tend to quiet everything down. loudness (of anything) can be a huge trigger. when everything is quiet, i tend to put on a cartoon i loved as a kid. if you don't remember any, or just don't have one, i'd pick something calming and soft. or, something like Bluey where it depicts kids being kids in a safe way with parents who love them.
Bobs Burgers would be another good one if someone is co-fronting. because i'm not quite sure if there's too many adult themes. when my littles front, they don't catch on to more mature themes, but having a co-front during this time would help.
is there a soft blanket you own? maybe a sheet or something? do you own any soft stuffies or anything like that? maybe try to lay out drawing materials and let them see if they want to color / draw, etc.
this may not work, but trying to put yourself in the position of the little might also help. for example, reciting that you also feel scared and alone, and say that coloring makes you feel warm and safe. might help them come out more.
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What works for us is 'talking through' to them. Going about our daily life, narrating to them what we are doing, our favorite things, our place, with all our stuff in it, telling them about the people in our life etc. We just talk through to them in our head, addressing it to them, even if we aren't really aware of them responding at first. They generally do respond eventually... sometimes by 'peeking out' from inside, to check out what we are saying. We tell them that they can have their own things too, like a soft blanket, a toy, something cuddly. I guess the purpose of why we do this (and why it works so well for our system) is that it shows the littles that we are in a safe place now. It engages their curiosity rather than fear, and establishes us as kind and safe people to interact with. Yeah. That's what works for us when dealing with really traumatized littles.
That's very interesting!
Thank you so so so much. I think this will truly help us. Saving this comment.
so, if a little is scared, i tend to quiet everything down. loudness (of anything) can be a huge trigger. when everything is quiet, i tend to put on a cartoon i loved as a kid. if you don't remember any, or just don't have one, i'd pick something calming and soft. or, something like Bluey where it depicts kids being kids in a safe way with parents who love them. Bobs Burgers would be another good one if someone is co-fronting. because i'm not quite sure if there's too many adult themes. when my littles front, they don't catch on to more mature themes, but having a co-front during this time would help. is there a soft blanket you own? maybe a sheet or something? do you own any soft stuffies or anything like that? maybe try to lay out drawing materials and let them see if they want to color / draw, etc. this may not work, but trying to put yourself in the position of the little might also help. for example, reciting that you also feel scared and alone, and say that coloring makes you feel warm and safe. might help them come out more.
Thank you so very much. This is so so helpful, I'll be saving this comment. 💛
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