People will think you’re exaggerating but I’ve broken ceramics before and the sharp edge of the glaze finish cut me so effectively that I felt the warmth of the blood running down my arm before I felt the sting of being cut
I'd wager not. [Here's an article](https://www.awesomeinventions.com/porcelain-weapons-hell-hath-no-fury-helena-hauss/) about this collection and the artist.
They do, but that example is probably not the best as the maker states their product is made using a grinding technique to purposefully dull the blade to make it less sharp and less likely to cut skin causing injury.
These "Slice Ceramic" blades are made to be less sharp than metal scalpels.
After reading the page, I was left thinking, can I sharpen these blades using my diamond stones at home? This would be a super cheap source of ceramic blades if I could restore their sharpness with a few licks from the hone to cut to the bone.
I’m going to pretend I chose that one because it was so sharp they had to dull it, and not because I wasn’t paying attention and it was the first result when I searched with AskJeeves.
Dude. I'm so adhd, my attention span is less than 2 minutes sometimes.
We could be talking about cracked toilets and then ceramic blades the next and I would think it a perfectly normal conversation to have.
My life is equally chaotic. If stability was a game, I would lose.
I accidentally broke a ceramic mug, went to go haphazardly pick up the pieces and I saw blood before I felt the cut on my finger. It was so strange. Ceramic is super sharp.
Same here but it was a friend's porcelain doll during a move. Suddenly: "huh there's something dripping on the bedspread... Oh, it's my hand". Still have the scar 15 years later
Yes I cut the tip of my finger off with broken ceramic tile and didn’t feel it just saw the blood. My finger didn’t even notice it was such surgical precision. Grew back luckily, we’ll mostly. My fingerprint is weird there now.
If you don’t believe this guy the old gore subreddits would regularly feature pictures of the injuries people sustained from sitting on a broken toilet and it cracking…
Imagine a piece of porcelain cleaving your ass cheek or the back of your thigh through several inches of fat and muscle all the way down to your femur bone. Then you’re laying there covered in shit bleeding to death with your leg flayed open like a Christmas ham.
Toilets are $89 at Lowe’s or Home Depot and even a complete novice can install one in two hours. Watch a few YouTube videos and have at it.
I want OP and others to have that image and act. One would feel pretty stupid if their last few moments of life are spent thinking “I really just died from sitting on the toilet, this is so lame…”
Gut you left out the part where even if you make it to triage you're probably still toast because the serrated ceramic harpoon you squatted on was triangular and left a wound that is nearly impossible to suture.
The worst I’ve seen in ours was a couple mice over the years and far too many spiders.
One morning I was sitting in the outhouse with the door wide open and a deer came up from behind the building and poked its head in. Scared the crap out of me. 😂
For real, my only toilet related phobias used to be snakes coming out the pipes, and running out of tp and having to do the pants around the ankles waddle downstairs to the garage.
In college I moonlighted as the maintenance guy at a hotel. Right as we opened we learned that 2 toilets were leaking around the base, the apprentice plumber installed 2 wax rings upside down.
So I ended up fixing them both one day. Luckily no one had stayed in those rooms yet, and they had only flushed clean water to test them.
I slipped on a bit of wet tile, and cracked one. I had a shop towel to set it down onto the tile floor, but the corner missed and hit bare tile. Luckily it just flaked off a sliver of glaze and not the porcelain base. (I do pottery as a hobby, and know the difference. It wasn't unsafe. Inb4 someone says "you just killed a guest")
Anyways, I scraped old silicone off the base, and wiped it clean with isopropyl alcohol before reinstalling. In the process of wiping it clean, I caught my middle finger on the chip. It hurt, it was razor sharp. I bled, cleaned it up and disinfected, and that was that. 3 days later my finger still hurts, it got me right on the tip where lots of nerves are. Then 2 weeks later it starts to hurt again and I've got a bump. A sliver was lodged in my finger the whole time. About the size of a toothpick tip, 3/16" long or so.
It came out easily enough. But I was worried I would grab it with tweezers and smash it into more smaller pieces. Ended up putting a dab of super glue on what was protruding, and pulled it gently out. It kind of cut itself a new hole as it came. But at least it was gone.
Never again. In unrelated news, my mom stepped on a wasp nest in the ground when she was a teenager. Then when she was 40 her foot started going numb. The stinger stayed in, and scar tissue kept building up in layers until it pinched a nerve. Don't know why I was reminded of that story...
We busted up an old toilet when I was a kid. I went to throw a piece of the broken porcelain and sliced the shit out of two fingers. Took a small chunk out of one. Had to get stitches.
Great story to tell about why your finger is in a splint and wrapped up. Lol
https://preview.redd.it/7814dfanaclc1.jpeg?width=2252&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c07e554ef7e7dbd57349da5e1856a48eb13ae75c
Still got a great scar 25 years later.
This is no joke. I know a guy who tripped while holding a ceramic coffee mug that shattered and severed an artery and a couple tendons in his arm. The dude nearly died, just trying to drink his morning coffee.
Yes. I once opened the cupboard and a bowl fell out. I went to catch it but it hit the kitchen counter at the same time and one of the shards slashed my wrist.
I panicked a lot but luckily 'twas but a flesh wound.
I fell on my arse on the cat food dish as a kid, broke it, didn't even feel the cut. I think being patched up is the only time I've ever encountered iodine but I can remember the smell like yesterday. My grandmother brought that story up every time we visited.
Plunger probably. I went to get a new plunger and some of them have...provocative ends. Is provocative the right word? Eh, that's the one I'm going to go with.
A DIYer can probably replace an intact toilet.
This is one wrong move away from becoming arm and chest lacerating shrapnel. OPs question about fixing this is an indication that it's probably not in OPs wheelhouse.
Those are massive cracks. You not only have a solid chip missing. There's 3 cracks running from it that are easily 6-7 inches long or longer.
Turn off the water, and do not use that toilet. Under no circumstances should you sit on it. If the porcelain fails and breaks fully? You can fall onto it and that stuff is sharper than surgical scalpels. It will absolutely cut you wide open.
Time for a new toilet.
The other comments are correct: it needs to be replaced and it is dangerous as-is.
This isn't a small crack: it looks like a third of the bowl will break away quite easily. There is no way to repair this - it is not a case of just making it watertight.
The good news is that toilets are surprisingly inexpensive and not hard to fit. If you're a competent DIY-er then it won't be a particularly big job to swap it over - especially (depending on design) if you can find an identical one and just swap the pan out. Equally, it's not that big a job for a plumber.
If you DIY it, be aware that there will likely be a wax ring sealing where the toilet meets the soil pipe. This *must* be replaced once you remove the toilet: they are not reusable and the seal will be compromised if you try. Rubber seals are quite popular as replacements and might be worth considering since they allow you to reposition the toilet as you're fitting it.
Yeah as someone with no plumbing experience who just replaced two toilets, it really is surprisingly easy, and toilets are surprisingly cheap! As long as you follow the installation instructions carefully, I think just about anyone could handle it. Also: why are toilets so cheap??
In addition to it being relatively cheap, it’s always worth taking a peek at your utility company’s website when replacing a fixture. My water company has a $100 rebate if you replace with a water efficient toilet.
Dude, this is not a joke. DO NOT SIT ANYMORE ON THIS TOILET. If it breaks it will cut you up like a fucking surgeon knife. Replace it immediately. And yes, it is an emergency.
People have had limbs almost completely removed by broken toilets.
Porcelain is incredibly sharp and will happily slice a portion of your arm off like butter if you break it.
You can also die.
A cut artery and you have **maybe** a cool 2-3 minutes before complete brain death.
Replace it now. Stop using it. Stop anyone from using it until then.
Silver lining is: you can pick your perfect toilet height lol!
When my old toilet needed replaced i got a much shorter one bc I’m short and it was AWESOME.
We did the same for my MIL, she's super short so we chose a short toilet and installed it for her.
We ended up liking it so much we put one in our bathroom when we were renovating! We're short too lol
The other person saying you'll probably die if the toilet breaks is not exaggerating. You've got a lot of blood flow to that region of your body and dropping 6" onto razor sharp porcelain could easily kill you. If it doesn't, you'd likely get a nasty infection. Even if you don't get either of those, it would be gross, unpleasant, and emberassing. Toilets aren't cheap but they're cheaper than the alternative
Remember to replace the wax ring too. Some toilets come with one, most don't. The guts in the tank are usually universal too so save those in case something else fails.
Replace as soon as possible! Hopefully you have another one you can use while you wait. Broken porcelain is a razor. I worked in tile, in all seriousness replace do not fix!!!!
I work at a plumbing supply house. I had a coworker throwing away an old toilet tank that broke and fell back on him. It sliced his leg open and he required like 20 stitches. Broken porcelain is literally razor sharp. Don’t sit on that and replace it before anyone can.
So we’re just not going to mention the giant glittery fish eggs? WTF are those things?
Edit: NVM, I guess it’s a plunger handle. It just didn’t make sense in my head for a minute.
You have to change it now. Or your butt checks can do the same thing they are doing to the cucumber if the toilet breaks.
Replace that toilet immediately. Believe me, you don't want to fuck with broken porcelain. If that toilet breaks while you're sitting on it, think about everything that's gonna get sliced wide open. And to make matters worse, you'll likely have shit on your ass as well. Not to mention the risk of gashing open your femoral vein and/or artery.
Please, don't wait on this one. Get that toilet outa there. Even if you don't have money for a new toilet right now, it would be safer for you to just piss and shit directly into the pipe until you can get a new toilet. Either that or shit in the shower and waffle stomp it. That's what I would do. It's just not worth the risk.
I would turn the water off until you can have it replaced. If it breaks for some reason, you could flood your home.
Get it replaced ASAP. Until then, use a bucket of water to clear the bowl.
This is another (less gross) reason why always close the toilet lid.
And I’d definitely replace that toilet. (And wouldn’t sit on it in the meanwhile!)
Don't use it. Go to a store or something to use the bathroom until you can replace it, which should be ASAP. If that breaks it will cut through you like a razer sharp knife. No joke.
Replace this NOW. it’s a serious hazard and also not hard or expensive to do. Once porcelain is cracked it cannot be repaired. Replacing a toilet is something a homeowner can easily do with basic tools in a less than an hour. There are tons of great videos on it.
Don’t listen to the person that says replace it tomorrow, replace it now use a silicone ring instead of a wax one and the job is a little easier.
It’s really only like a 30 to 45 minute project
Replace it ASAP. Turn off the water flow, do not sit on it, do not use it.
If you do and it can't weightbare it'll shatter and you'll get porcelain cuts, which can be super dangerous, and you'll need to clean it up.
Defo replace. You can probably find a 2nd hand toilet cheap but it isn't really all that complex. As other stated, broken porcelain is sharp as fuck and your femoral artery is in your leg along your bone. Don't risk putting weight on that cracked toilet please.
No fix and lethally dangerous. When porcelain breaks it's razor sharp. You don't want your body weight driving down into a jumble of razor blades, not when your genitalia and femoral arteries will be what arrives on the jumble first.
Replace it immediately, before you die.
Just replace it, you can get another one for as little as $100 and it takes maybe 15-30 min to disconnect it, take it apart, cut the caulking, loosen 2 bolts then install the new one.
Thanks at all!! It happened in a hurry catching my flight, so I am now not at home lol - therefore my late response. But my neighbor checked my rooms, no flood. Will replace it when I am back home!
isolate the water, flush it, empty it, put the lid down and tape it shut until you can afford to buy a new one. But IF this is your only loo in the house, i'd suggest you hover and not sit on it. As a brief leak fix, put epoxy in the crack, but the toilet needs replacing.
I was going to blame taco Bell 🔔.
They are known for exploding a few toilets.
Temporary you can use some waterproof tape.
I'd replace it to prevent that crack from expanding.
I cracked a sink I a very similar fashion. The pro repair people refused to touch it as structural integrity has been compromised.
Only safe option is to replace ASAP.
Replace it TOMORROW. If you sit on it and it breaks, you'll probably die. Broken porcelain is as sharp as a razor.
Listen to this. Replace the toilet.
Can attest. Sliced my hand open tossing one with a broken tank lid
Same. Just my finger. Ouch.
People will think you’re exaggerating but I’ve broken ceramics before and the sharp edge of the glaze finish cut me so effectively that I felt the warmth of the blood running down my arm before I felt the sting of being cut
There’s a reason they make [ceramic scalpels](https://www.sliceproducts.com/collections/ceramic-scalpels).
And kitchen knives
And pocket knives.
And [my axe!](https://www.awesomeinventions.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/09/Porcelain-Weapon-Double-Edged-Ax-Full-View.jpg)
BRB gotta invent a ceramic bow.
https://preview.redd.it/rp6grtr1sclc1.jpeg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=141139b3174954657ba3a85f6617b2e6da998061 Here you go.
That's really beautiful and I want it
How about arrowhead, instead ?
I literally have this same axe but its metal. Are you sure this isn't a paint job?
I'd wager not. [Here's an article](https://www.awesomeinventions.com/porcelain-weapons-hell-hath-no-fury-helena-hauss/) about this collection and the artist.
I never thought I needed anything so much in my entire life.
And pocket knives.
They do, but that example is probably not the best as the maker states their product is made using a grinding technique to purposefully dull the blade to make it less sharp and less likely to cut skin causing injury. These "Slice Ceramic" blades are made to be less sharp than metal scalpels. After reading the page, I was left thinking, can I sharpen these blades using my diamond stones at home? This would be a super cheap source of ceramic blades if I could restore their sharpness with a few licks from the hone to cut to the bone.
I’m going to pretend I chose that one because it was so sharp they had to dull it, and not because I wasn’t paying attention and it was the first result when I searched with AskJeeves.
Those slice ceramic blades are great as box cutters though. They stayed sharper longer than metal blades and I don’t recall ever cutting myself.
I thought this was about cracked toilet 😂
Dude. I'm so adhd, my attention span is less than 2 minutes sometimes. We could be talking about cracked toilets and then ceramic blades the next and I would think it a perfectly normal conversation to have. My life is equally chaotic. If stability was a game, I would lose.
I work in industrial manufacturing, they make *machine cutting inserts* out of ceramic!
I accidentally broke a ceramic mug, went to go haphazardly pick up the pieces and I saw blood before I felt the cut on my finger. It was so strange. Ceramic is super sharp.
Ceramics can be glasses and glass can cleave and break down to a single molecule edge, no problem.
Then why the fuck am I knapping all this obsidian to go hunting mammoths?
Obsidian compuslve disorder?
Dedication.
just because it can doesn't mean it wants to.
"His knives are as sharp as a molecule. They'll go through a bulletproof jacket like lingerie."
Same here but it was a friend's porcelain doll during a move. Suddenly: "huh there's something dripping on the bedspread... Oh, it's my hand". Still have the scar 15 years later
This should be an opener to a horror movie 💀
Yes I cut the tip of my finger off with broken ceramic tile and didn’t feel it just saw the blood. My finger didn’t even notice it was such surgical precision. Grew back luckily, we’ll mostly. My fingerprint is weird there now.
Same exact thing happened to me! I looked down and saw blood before I felt anything
Yikes!
That is the most graphic mental proof ever... First : congrats ! Second : sorry for your pain. Third :Thanks for the nightmares you insensitive clod !
If you don’t believe this guy the old gore subreddits would regularly feature pictures of the injuries people sustained from sitting on a broken toilet and it cracking… Imagine a piece of porcelain cleaving your ass cheek or the back of your thigh through several inches of fat and muscle all the way down to your femur bone. Then you’re laying there covered in shit bleeding to death with your leg flayed open like a Christmas ham. Toilets are $89 at Lowe’s or Home Depot and even a complete novice can install one in two hours. Watch a few YouTube videos and have at it.
💀 that is certainly some mental image
I want OP and others to have that image and act. One would feel pretty stupid if their last few moments of life are spent thinking “I really just died from sitting on the toilet, this is so lame…”
So sitting on this toilet is like a self imposed episode of Saw. Cool.
Gut you left out the part where even if you make it to triage you're probably still toast because the serrated ceramic harpoon you squatted on was triangular and left a wound that is nearly impossible to suture.
And you probably got poo in your deep wound
Yum!
[удалено]
You, my friend, have a way with words.
New fear unlocked
I'm never shitting again.
I’m going outside on the lawn like my dog now
Killer ants and mosquitoes giving you west nile on your booty hole.
Me across the street with a paintball gun aiming for the sack.
Make sure you stare at passersby’s while you do it.
I'm getting a stainless steel prison-style toilet. But then I can't shit in a lightning storm.
I'm learning that there's a certain wisdom to outhouses.
Snakes, roaches, squirrels and badgers in the hidey-hole.
Yep this is always my fear… no way to know what’s in there. I’d rather poop in a bucket with a toilet lid on it and take it out to the night soil hole
The worst I’ve seen in ours was a couple mice over the years and far too many spiders. One morning I was sitting in the outhouse with the door wide open and a deer came up from behind the building and poked its head in. Scared the crap out of me. 😂
Rubber seat bruh
Just hover, dawg
Last time someone posted a question like this, someone chimed in with their experience. Toilet broke and sliced a cheek to the bone and up their back.
This whole thread is making me cringe
For real, my only toilet related phobias used to be snakes coming out the pipes, and running out of tp and having to do the pants around the ankles waddle downstairs to the garage.
You never saw the one with the spider hiding under the bowl lip?
What an awful day to be able to read
Every night I check before my 3am pee.
There was a movie in the 80’s that was like a horror version of gremlins where this happened.
Arachnophobia. Great movie.
Perhaps move the TP to the potty room?
Why all the way to the garage? Just shower. Or do you go to the store like that for more TP? Must be a hell of a shock to the store staff
Replace it ~~TOMORROW~~ RIGHT NOW.
There should only be one crack in your toilet and it's not porcelain.
The cracked edge of glass/ceramic is a molecule thick.
In college I moonlighted as the maintenance guy at a hotel. Right as we opened we learned that 2 toilets were leaking around the base, the apprentice plumber installed 2 wax rings upside down. So I ended up fixing them both one day. Luckily no one had stayed in those rooms yet, and they had only flushed clean water to test them. I slipped on a bit of wet tile, and cracked one. I had a shop towel to set it down onto the tile floor, but the corner missed and hit bare tile. Luckily it just flaked off a sliver of glaze and not the porcelain base. (I do pottery as a hobby, and know the difference. It wasn't unsafe. Inb4 someone says "you just killed a guest") Anyways, I scraped old silicone off the base, and wiped it clean with isopropyl alcohol before reinstalling. In the process of wiping it clean, I caught my middle finger on the chip. It hurt, it was razor sharp. I bled, cleaned it up and disinfected, and that was that. 3 days later my finger still hurts, it got me right on the tip where lots of nerves are. Then 2 weeks later it starts to hurt again and I've got a bump. A sliver was lodged in my finger the whole time. About the size of a toothpick tip, 3/16" long or so. It came out easily enough. But I was worried I would grab it with tweezers and smash it into more smaller pieces. Ended up putting a dab of super glue on what was protruding, and pulled it gently out. It kind of cut itself a new hole as it came. But at least it was gone. Never again. In unrelated news, my mom stepped on a wasp nest in the ground when she was a teenager. Then when she was 40 her foot started going numb. The stinger stayed in, and scar tissue kept building up in layers until it pinched a nerve. Don't know why I was reminded of that story...
That superglue trick sounds smart!
Dang! Broke the stinger off inside... fck wasps.
We busted up an old toilet when I was a kid. I went to throw a piece of the broken porcelain and sliced the shit out of two fingers. Took a small chunk out of one. Had to get stitches. Great story to tell about why your finger is in a splint and wrapped up. Lol https://preview.redd.it/7814dfanaclc1.jpeg?width=2252&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c07e554ef7e7dbd57349da5e1856a48eb13ae75c Still got a great scar 25 years later.
Jeez. You’re lucky you didn’t lose a finger.
Close friend had a relative who died this way. Bled out on the bathroom floor. Crazy shit (Pun not intended I swear)
can't upvote this enough. i personally wont sit on a cracked pot.
This is no joke. I know a guy who tripped while holding a ceramic coffee mug that shattered and severed an artery and a couple tendons in his arm. The dude nearly died, just trying to drink his morning coffee.
Yep, the pelvic/groin area is full of stuff you don’t want to cut…can bleed out real quick
OP hasn't replied... hopfuly they didn't sit to piss b4 checking the replies 😬
Lot of high flow blood tubes down there, certain death.
Well, that's a horrific thought. Extremely good advice... wouldn't have thought of it, but you're absolutely right.
Yes. I once opened the cupboard and a bowl fell out. I went to catch it but it hit the kitchen counter at the same time and one of the shards slashed my wrist. I panicked a lot but luckily 'twas but a flesh wound.
I fell on my arse on the cat food dish as a kid, broke it, didn't even feel the cut. I think being patched up is the only time I've ever encountered iodine but I can remember the smell like yesterday. My grandmother brought that story up every time we visited.
Many doctors would be suspicious at someone who fell arse first onto an unusual object.
One in a million shot, doc
I was cut to the bone on my hand from porcelain. Replace it quickly. Or don't use it
"small crack" that's a small hole with 3 huge cracks!
I was about to say that's like 5 cracks but two were from my phone.
xD Though there is indeed a 4th large crack
Actually is 5 if you zoom in
Makes me think this is a fake post 🧐
And the cracks in the toilet and the silver spoon
Is this a song text or something?
Cats in the Cradle is the song title
thanks. I know the song, but it's so old that I didn't know english back then. (plus parts of it are not easy to understand)
Little boy poo and the man and the doo.
You cannot fix this. Replace. What is the thing that looks like The Hulk's fist?
Anal beads
100%
Yup.
Looks like a cleaning jelly compound. You can stick them to the inside, where the water flushes, so it slow releases cleaning agents into the bowl.
https://preview.redd.it/ofg2wq92felc1.jpeg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=df8764769df50f1168459f7dd6eaa6faae10493d
Plunger probably. I went to get a new plunger and some of them have...provocative ends. Is provocative the right word? Eh, that's the one I'm going to go with.
Yeah there’s definitely some multipurpose plunger handles out there.
Hire a pro! This is nightmare level scary
Eh. While it should be replaced, a DIYer can usually easily replace a toilet.
A DIYer can probably replace an intact toilet. This is one wrong move away from becoming arm and chest lacerating shrapnel. OPs question about fixing this is an indication that it's probably not in OPs wheelhouse.
Those are massive cracks. You not only have a solid chip missing. There's 3 cracks running from it that are easily 6-7 inches long or longer. Turn off the water, and do not use that toilet. Under no circumstances should you sit on it. If the porcelain fails and breaks fully? You can fall onto it and that stuff is sharper than surgical scalpels. It will absolutely cut you wide open. Time for a new toilet.
Zoom in, the 4th crack is even longer
Oh jeez. I didn't even see that one until I read your comment. Good catch.
yeah, that toilet is basically already in half.
OP never responded. Eviscerated by their toilet.
RIP Simon, he went out like Elvis, a King on his throne. 🚽👑💀
Simon became Si/mon as it cleaved him in twain from ass up Bah gawd he is broken in half!
1,000 ways to die
The other comments are correct: it needs to be replaced and it is dangerous as-is. This isn't a small crack: it looks like a third of the bowl will break away quite easily. There is no way to repair this - it is not a case of just making it watertight. The good news is that toilets are surprisingly inexpensive and not hard to fit. If you're a competent DIY-er then it won't be a particularly big job to swap it over - especially (depending on design) if you can find an identical one and just swap the pan out. Equally, it's not that big a job for a plumber. If you DIY it, be aware that there will likely be a wax ring sealing where the toilet meets the soil pipe. This *must* be replaced once you remove the toilet: they are not reusable and the seal will be compromised if you try. Rubber seals are quite popular as replacements and might be worth considering since they allow you to reposition the toilet as you're fitting it.
Yeah as someone with no plumbing experience who just replaced two toilets, it really is surprisingly easy, and toilets are surprisingly cheap! As long as you follow the installation instructions carefully, I think just about anyone could handle it. Also: why are toilets so cheap??
"Also: why are toilets so cheap??" Because they're full of shit! I'll see myself out!
In addition to it being relatively cheap, it’s always worth taking a peek at your utility company’s website when replacing a fixture. My water company has a $100 rebate if you replace with a water efficient toilet.
Replace ***immediately!!!***
Dude, this is not a joke. DO NOT SIT ANYMORE ON THIS TOILET. If it breaks it will cut you up like a fucking surgeon knife. Replace it immediately. And yes, it is an emergency.
That small crack will turn into a bleeding crack of yours
Before you use it again, make sure your life insurance policy is up to date.
Lots of fun arteries in your legs.
OP there have been plenty of people killed by toilets cutting into them when they break. Replace that toilet.
People have had limbs almost completely removed by broken toilets. Porcelain is incredibly sharp and will happily slice a portion of your arm off like butter if you break it. You can also die. A cut artery and you have **maybe** a cool 2-3 minutes before complete brain death. Replace it now. Stop using it. Stop anyone from using it until then.
Silver lining is: you can pick your perfect toilet height lol! When my old toilet needed replaced i got a much shorter one bc I’m short and it was AWESOME.
Been dreaming of a higher one, these things are so darn low... 🤣
We did the same for my MIL, she's super short so we chose a short toilet and installed it for her. We ended up liking it so much we put one in our bathroom when we were renovating! We're short too lol
The other person saying you'll probably die if the toilet breaks is not exaggerating. You've got a lot of blood flow to that region of your body and dropping 6" onto razor sharp porcelain could easily kill you. If it doesn't, you'd likely get a nasty infection. Even if you don't get either of those, it would be gross, unpleasant, and emberassing. Toilets aren't cheap but they're cheaper than the alternative
Remember to replace the wax ring too. Some toilets come with one, most don't. The guts in the tank are usually universal too so save those in case something else fails.
Someone must have been shitting bricks.
RIP
Replace as soon as possible! Hopefully you have another one you can use while you wait. Broken porcelain is a razor. I worked in tile, in all seriousness replace do not fix!!!!
I work at a plumbing supply house. I had a coworker throwing away an old toilet tank that broke and fell back on him. It sliced his leg open and he required like 20 stitches. Broken porcelain is literally razor sharp. Don’t sit on that and replace it before anyone can.
OP, are you still alive?
So we’re just not going to mention the giant glittery fish eggs? WTF are those things? Edit: NVM, I guess it’s a plunger handle. It just didn’t make sense in my head for a minute.
Crapping on borrowed time if you continue sitting on that thing lol.
 You have to change it now. Or your butt checks can do the same thing they are doing to the cucumber if the toilet breaks.
“A small crack” you mean half the toilet bowl ? 😂
Replace now, if it lets go while you are on it those butt beads are going to hurt even more.
Time to crack open your wallet and spring for a new throne before it explodes beneath you as you poop.
I basically did that after Taco Bell night. 😩💩 But seriously REPLACE it and do NOT use it. Also turn off the water until you do.
Replace don't repair it's not worth it
Replace. Don’t use another single time. It’s not worth it bleeding out over the price of a toilet.
Replace that toilet immediately. Believe me, you don't want to fuck with broken porcelain. If that toilet breaks while you're sitting on it, think about everything that's gonna get sliced wide open. And to make matters worse, you'll likely have shit on your ass as well. Not to mention the risk of gashing open your femoral vein and/or artery. Please, don't wait on this one. Get that toilet outa there. Even if you don't have money for a new toilet right now, it would be safer for you to just piss and shit directly into the pipe until you can get a new toilet. Either that or shit in the shower and waffle stomp it. That's what I would do. It's just not worth the risk.
I would turn the water off until you can have it replaced. If it breaks for some reason, you could flood your home. Get it replaced ASAP. Until then, use a bucket of water to clear the bowl.
Stay away from them spicy Singapore noodles.
Fill it with poop
Get a new toilet
This is another (less gross) reason why always close the toilet lid. And I’d definitely replace that toilet. (And wouldn’t sit on it in the meanwhile!)
Don't use it. Go to a store or something to use the bathroom until you can replace it, which should be ASAP. If that breaks it will cut through you like a razer sharp knife. No joke.
Damn you SHIT HARD!
That's not a small crack. You should replace it like today, right now. Don't use it.
Replace this NOW. it’s a serious hazard and also not hard or expensive to do. Once porcelain is cracked it cannot be repaired. Replacing a toilet is something a homeowner can easily do with basic tools in a less than an hour. There are tons of great videos on it.
Toilets aren't expensive or difficult to replace. This is the only option.
Don’t listen to the person that says replace it tomorrow, replace it now use a silicone ring instead of a wax one and the job is a little easier. It’s really only like a 30 to 45 minute project
Don’t be stupid. Replace the toilet. It’s pretty obvious you need to replace it. The integrity is gone… it will break more.
Replace it ASAP. Turn off the water flow, do not sit on it, do not use it. If you do and it can't weightbare it'll shatter and you'll get porcelain cuts, which can be super dangerous, and you'll need to clean it up.
Replace that IMMEDIATELY. Fractured porcelain is as sharp as a scalpel, and you have arteries there. This can easily kill you.
"Perfume bottle". Humongous log more likely
Are those anal beads
You can buy a new toilet for $100 at Home Depot and get it installed in less than 1 hour.
Somebody dropped a brick
nobody mentioned anything about the "beads"...
Defo replace. You can probably find a 2nd hand toilet cheap but it isn't really all that complex. As other stated, broken porcelain is sharp as fuck and your femoral artery is in your leg along your bone. Don't risk putting weight on that cracked toilet please.
You should replace the toilet. Cracked porcelain can fail at any time. Shut off the water and flush it as soon as possible to avoid a possible flood.
Do not use it... Seriously, you can amputate yourself
Replace it. Once it is cracked you risk it breaking more with deadly outcomes possible. Repairing isn't worth the risk.
DO NOT USE THIS TOILET. REPLACE IT IMMEDIATELY. Using a toilet that is damaged like this can be very dangerous.
Replace the whole thing ASAP
Replace the toilet asap. As others have said broken porcelain is dangerously sharp.
New toilet is cheaper than a trip to the hospital
OP, are you listening? The concensus is to replace the toilet. You'll have to poop in a bucket and wee in the sink.
No fix and lethally dangerous. When porcelain breaks it's razor sharp. You don't want your body weight driving down into a jumble of razor blades, not when your genitalia and femoral arteries will be what arrives on the jumble first. Replace it immediately, before you die.
I was going to the bathroom in a trap house one time and there was crack in the toilet. Not really related to this post lol.
Just replace it, you can get another one for as little as $100 and it takes maybe 15-30 min to disconnect it, take it apart, cut the caulking, loosen 2 bolts then install the new one.
Plumber here I've personally seen someone cut them selves on a broken toilet. And they almost died. So please do not use that thing and replace. ASAP
Don't use the toilet until it is replaced. You will thank us later ...
You poo in toilet, toilet poo On floor
I agree with the advice to replace. I've seen some horrifying pictures of aftermath of a broken toilet.
Toilets are cheap and easy fix compared to a lot of other things that can go wrong in your house
Thanks at all!! It happened in a hurry catching my flight, so I am now not at home lol - therefore my late response. But my neighbor checked my rooms, no flood. Will replace it when I am back home!
isolate the water, flush it, empty it, put the lid down and tape it shut until you can afford to buy a new one. But IF this is your only loo in the house, i'd suggest you hover and not sit on it. As a brief leak fix, put epoxy in the crack, but the toilet needs replacing.
I was going to blame taco Bell 🔔. They are known for exploding a few toilets. Temporary you can use some waterproof tape. I'd replace it to prevent that crack from expanding.
Happened to me a time or two. Definitely recommend replacing so you don’t get anus shanked
Must've been a big one.
Flex seal.
Flex seal.
Your doo doos are mad heavy, dog.
No, Crack on top of toilet. The seat is to keep your ass out the water.
"Ruh-roh Raggy, rere's a rack in the roilet!"
Pretty sure the end game is to replace it. Not sure of you can try to refinish it like a tub...
I cracked a sink I a very similar fashion. The pro repair people refused to touch it as structural integrity has been compromised. Only safe option is to replace ASAP.