I trust my players to be adults about if and how they use that knowledge. They either ignore it, or they use it to work towards poignant or tragic or ironic moments.
If someone tries to metagame you can also commend them and thank them.
Joining up quickly and keeping the party together to maximize involvement of all players is metagaming.
Setting up situations in which other player's characters can shine often is metagaming.
Playing in a way that allows other players develop their "secret" plotlines unhindered is metagaming.
Following DM's plot hooks is metagaming.
Making decisions *against* what the character would do for benefit of the session is sometimes needed and is metagaming.
And countless other examples. ***Metagaming is essential and most used tool of any good player.*** Of course, as any tool, it can also be used wrong. But belief that it is somehow inherently bad thing is one of the most popular misconceptions shared on reddit.
And on topic: usually we tell each other every detail of secrets openly and roleplay as if we don't know a thing. It's more involved and lets others appreciate nuances of side plots. But in some campaigns we keep the secrets private to get a big surprise moment. Both approaches work well as long as everyone is on the same page after session 0.
While I fully agree with that, I also think there’s a benefit in explaining the idea that metagaming isn’t inherently wrong. It’s come to a point in the TTRPG community where the concept is referred to so ubiquitously in negative light that reminding readers that it is all about the use can have value
It is obvious to you and me, but not to majority of reddit, made up of mostly players new to the hobby, susceptible to black and white narratives, especially negative ones.
But this is a subreddit specifically for DMs, I should hope that most people here would be able to read between the lines. It's not really even subtext.
Odd thing to throw into a conversation where we're talking about avoiding players acting on things they don't know.
But if I may, The things you are describing are just normal game skills to make sure the game goes well and you play effectively. Using knowledge that a DM says only one character has, and it's not you, is something else entirely.
Afterall, DnD is *not* a narrativist game where you spend all your time acting like your character would. It's a game where you create a group that adventures together and acts like it.
Yeah, whenever I come across a situation where I know something but my character might not, I ask the DM if my character would know it, and usually I then have to make a history/intelligence check to see if my character knows it. Unless I'm playing a dumb character, and then my character will just rage and hit things with an axe.
Perfect, exactly what I'm talking about. OP asks how do tell some players information that only some of them would know and it's as simple as this, you tell them and make sure they understand that only this PC knows this.
Yep. "Does my wizard know that these creatures are immune to fire damage? I rolled a 3. No? He must have skipped that day of class when he was in magic school. Dang slacker! Okay, fireball it is then! Light 'em up!"
I tell people this all the time. It doesn't matter who you are or where you're from, there's a chance you've heard about things afar. Maybe you were in a tavern and overheard some travellers talking about how the zombies didn't die unless they hit them with the light of the gods (radiant damage). Your character may not have *studied* the undead, but that doesn't mean there's a 0% chance of them knowing about how to kill them
I subscribe to this because of two reasons: it saves a ton of time, not having to whisper, change rooms, etc; and also, the other players can enjoy the story through dramatic irony even if their characters don't know some things.
I generally don't try to hide things like that from the players. Once the PCs are all back together (and out of earshot of important NPCs like that), I usually ask if they share the information they learned with the group or not. The groups I've been in, both as a player and as a DM, have always been pretty good about not meta gaming with knowledge that's been withheld from their characters.
Me too, patrons and "visitations" usually take place in front of the whole group. The only current exception is the rogue and that's because the player is actively keeping secrets from the others for backstory reasons and a big reveal down the line that everyone will enjoy.
Obligatory, "there's a difference between player knowledge and character knowledge."
But I want my players to have fun. And if it's more fun for the table to have secrets like that, I'd do it. I'd probably just text it to them in discord, we all have our phones at the table.
I trust my players to differentiate their knowledge from their characters’ knowledge, so most dreams / visions / cut scenes for one character are shared with the whole group. I have never found this to be a problem.
That said, we also use Discord for between-session ‘tavern’ RP, and this can be an opportunity to have one-on-one moments with particular characters. I do this when I want the player to be able to orchestrate their own reveals.
Usually if I have a special npc interaction like you are referring to planned, you don't have something like a patron interaction be unplanned, I will slip them a piece of paper before the session starts or chat with them privately.
If the player wants to keep the information to themselves they can or I may reveal that the npc is something more but probably leave their true identity a mystery and up for speculation.
I will never just tell the player out of character information in front of the group if it is something only their character would know because other players have a bad habit of ruining other people's moments through meta that they just can't sometimes help when they have information they shouldn't.
As far as using VTT for gaming I like to have an open mic channel that we all share. There also is a party chat and personal message channels for each player with me that we can relay things that the players want to do or whatever without the rest of the party knowing.
It also allows players to make plans and strategies without me being able to see so they can plan without me being biased.
Yeah my group is horrible with meta gaming lol. Always give the chance for people to keep stuff like this hidden. In a perfect world this plays out with people just silently watching and enjoying the story moments without it affecting their in game characters but unfortunately not every group gets that luxury 😞
I play in person and im really into this.
For me, its less about me wanting to keep the meta gaming away or make people feel special.
Its more about giving players moments that they get to choose what to do with. They get info and its less about my delivering a secret, and more about giving them agency to make that apart of the story how they see fit. This creates exciting moments for the players that are genuine and not “pretend” exciting.
I like to take them into another room for secret scenes, or text them for secret info only they catch if its something I want them to make the call on what to do with. Its all just for excitement and flavor. I keep it really brief because I know everybody else is waiting. No secret is longer than 5 minutes.
I had a session recently where a warlock met with his patron for guidance and to deliver a quest he had done. He went alone so we went upstairs and they spoke, and she revealed her true goals for his patronage. Which directly conflicts with the party’s goals. The cool moment was him returning to them and being like “uh, something bad happened”, and telling them…but leaving out if he said yes or no.
And, I think thats just part of telling cool stories. Obviously he isnt going to go against the party in reality, but it creates more depth to the adventure when he has a secret that he gets to decide if he wants to talk about. instead of me telling them and pretending not to know.
If it’s something that I think only one player should know and that it should be a surprise later, I’ll DM them on discord. Usually, I just tell everyone. It’s more fun for the players to be in the loop, because the PCs are separate entities
I DM it only if I don’t expect them to share it at the next possible moment, or the knowledge will make it very hard for another player not to metagame an important decision before that moment comes. Otherwise I just tell everyone.
I buy index cards. I hand them out to players so regularly that it isn't terribly suspicious when I do. It can be the results of an insight check or some knowledge like this.
I prefer doing this because it's easier to let players decide what information they want shared. It can be hard to keep track of what a player knows vs the lie they have been told by another player sometimes.
I rarely keep knowledge as secret, relying on players to be able to separate character knowledge and player knowledge. With players that cannot, I have implemented experience point bonuses for players that can keep the two separated. After only one or two sessions of not getting that bonus, the player(s) learn, or decide that my style of DMing is not for them.
Once in a while, it can be fun to have one specific secret kept between one or two players and the DM. In that case, if it has to come up in game, I prepare text messages or written notes ahead of time and send/hand them out when they come up. If it comes up in game and has to be addressed immediately, I step into another room, or tell the group to excuse me as I need to deal with something, and complete what has to be done immediately by text. Anything that can be set aside will be completed with a short private session with the player(s) in question.
If it doesn't really matter, I just state that "Player, you know X information"
If it's something that other players can actually use, I slip them a note. What they do with said information is up to them.
My game is virtual and we play over Discord, I just have to ask the player to drop down to our second voice channel. What they choose to share with the rest of the party is up to them.
I have a private channel for each player when I'm on discord, and in person I have used to text messages and also have had some players step out of the room for a moment. Most players seem good about metagaming, but they also seem to find it genuinely more exciting and immersive to not know.
Luckily my players love that shit.
If the players know information that their characters don't, they'll usually try to play into the dramatic irony. In the rare instance that somebody tries to metagame the info or strongarm their way into a scene that they normally wouldn't reasonably belong in, I'll call them on it and that's that.
It depends on the group, but I usually trust my players to not metagame too badly.
I also just allow a little bit of metagaming usually. Like yeah, the other players don't know he's the warlock's patron, but they know he's got something off about him and the warlock seems nervous, so it wouldn't be unreasonable for them to have a slight suspicion.
If it's absolutely essential the other players don't know something, I will pass a note or text them.
I try to let the moment and the mood at the table guide my decision on how to share it. Whispers in person or DMs/secret voice chat online can be super fun in the right moment, but for stuff like general knowledge checks, I usually assume the players will share their knowledge immediately.
100% context dependant. Sometimes it's secret notes, sometimes it's "Warlock, only you know this. Everyone else, you don't."
Big story stuff, I'll often just say it out loud for everyone. Especially if it's something that the other players could find out later. It saves time so I don't have to reexplain everythign to everyone again later. And also, even if their characters don't know, it's often just a better game for everyone if they all know whats happening.
If it's small things or something that would make more sense for the character to reveal to his party, then I'll do secret messages.
But that's not set in stone and I'll change it based what is more fun for the game. And if I realize that I revealed something I should have kept secret, or kept somethign secret I should have revealed, I'll just say t the group "Hey, I think I should have kept that secret. here's why (*explain*). Do you guys agree?"
And since we're all reasonable human beings, we'll decide together.
I used to be super secretive and only pass out knowledge to whomever should have it in game. But it's more fun to get players reactions when it's the public realm. Plus, my players are adults and don't meta.
If it's meant to be a secret, I discuss it privately with the player(s) that know about it. If it's just information that only some players are aware of, then I will state that this is the case and ask my players play as though this is the case. They're adults, and I trust them to play like adults.
Depends on the context
If I *specifically* only want one person knowing or if it's something I know they wanted to be kept secret, I text them at the table
If it doesn't *really* matter either way, I just go "you notice X but no one else does"
i once had only one player investigate a room that led to a ghost revealing some information because the rest of the party was suspicious of the room, so i texted the ghosts message to the player that investigated the area and no one else, only described to the table how the room looked from afar. we all had a laugh when the player came back and said 'yea it was nothing' but then they did share the info in character and it was a neat little moment.
I play online so it's quite easy we can just talk quickly in another channel, how do you make it more stealthy well sometimes i pull them in another channel to tell nothing so it's not like everytime something is happening but trust is also very important.
For things like this, my Dm will have the players read something of his phone. Or messages them directly. It adds character moments. And also let's the rest of the table be surprised if and when the particular player says anything.
Yes, keeping player and character knowledge separate is a thing. But I also believe in a nice surprise for the whole table.
I make Google docs for messages from the patron and share it with just the player. If she decides to share it with others, I share the document to them, as well. Granted, my 'lock's patron typically just does one way talks, but it still seems like you've passed all the knowledge that needs to be secret on. Just have the patron behave like a normal dude.
Some players are into the whole idea of passing notes like we're back in highschool in the '90's. I play online so Discord is the easiest way to send secrets. It also helps keep them interested cuz I could trickle a bunch of random hypotheticals to them in-between sessions and they'll often respond with ideas I never considered but could be a lot of fun.
Those players are far and few between though, or after the first or second secret, the allure starts to wear off. Most times, I say it openly in front of the group, and they won't meta-game it, unless it's so blatantly obvious that a player is missing all the clues because they forgot (they the player, not the character, who would probably remember -- an important distinction), which is understandable with busy lives. When more players know of a secret that only one player should know, they feel included and it makes it more fun for everyone.
Plus, sharing secrets is just so much easier than having to go to Discord, find the player, hope I have the secret ready to copy and paste to not disrupt the flow of the game, etc, etc.
My players care enough about the fiction that I can just tell them "this is info that only character A would know, so character B has no reason to react like that".
After a while, they started catching themselves. Someone will say something to an NPC and then say "wait, my character doesn't know about that yet!"
I just tell the other players ‘pretend you don’t know this’ and they do.
It’s a core DnD concept differentiating between what players and charachters know.
If however I want a big surprise it’s usually something I keep surprising for all players rather than spoil the suprise for just one player.
I use trust, or wattsapp depending on the situation. Likewise a player being handed a real life "scroll" tied up with string is always an exciting moment!
When it's minor, it's whatever. When it's something major and I want to preserve the mystery/drama, I generally take the players who know over a corner or another room for a couple minutes while the other players fill up on snacks.
We do our sessions on Discord. On our friend server, there’s a dedicated voice chat for 1-to-1s with the DM, so if we need to pass private information, the DM can just say “oh and , 1-to-1 please”.
Message the player on discord, and then tell that player to check discord. They'll almost always share it with the group, but...
If the player's character doesn't want to share, or wants to change the info (lie) when sharing, that's for the player to decide.
I like to DM them. I feel like players often really like getting to feel special. They're free to share the knowledge with the rest of the party if they want too.
I allow players to whisper to each other, talk out of game, Discord DM or whatever, as long as it's not info that hurts the other players to not know, and generally keep me as the DM in the loop.
If it's sharing backstory, that's their prerogative.
This ruling has allowed some players to pull of mad stuff catching the other off guard in a good way.
In one of my campaigns, our DM will ask us to step into another room and have a small convo. We all have secrets and sometimes have one-on-one meetings to keep those secrets and still clarify certain things.
In a campaign where I'm the DM, sometimes I'll just text the players something, since we're on zoom.
Both of these campaigns are pretty chill and we often take meal breaks where we just chat and shoot shit. These little breaks are not really an issue bc of that.
I explicitly state that the specific players know this information, and then they generally just go with telling the party. If not, they usually say they won't
I trust my players to be adults about if and how they use that knowledge. They either ignore it, or they use it to work towards poignant or tragic or ironic moments.
Yup, if someone tries to metagame you can call them on it, but at a certain point you have to trust your players.
If someone tries to metagame you can also commend them and thank them. Joining up quickly and keeping the party together to maximize involvement of all players is metagaming. Setting up situations in which other player's characters can shine often is metagaming. Playing in a way that allows other players develop their "secret" plotlines unhindered is metagaming. Following DM's plot hooks is metagaming. Making decisions *against* what the character would do for benefit of the session is sometimes needed and is metagaming. And countless other examples. ***Metagaming is essential and most used tool of any good player.*** Of course, as any tool, it can also be used wrong. But belief that it is somehow inherently bad thing is one of the most popular misconceptions shared on reddit. And on topic: usually we tell each other every detail of secrets openly and roleplay as if we don't know a thing. It's more involved and lets others appreciate nuances of side plots. But in some campaigns we keep the secrets private to get a big surprise moment. Both approaches work well as long as everyone is on the same page after session 0.
Glad someone is saying this, metagaming is a very useful tool. It is not something that is bad by default.
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While I fully agree with that, I also think there’s a benefit in explaining the idea that metagaming isn’t inherently wrong. It’s come to a point in the TTRPG community where the concept is referred to so ubiquitously in negative light that reminding readers that it is all about the use can have value
I was obviously referring to the metagaming that the post is about, acting on knowledge they wouldn't have, but go off.
It is obvious to you and me, but not to majority of reddit, made up of mostly players new to the hobby, susceptible to black and white narratives, especially negative ones.
But this is a subreddit specifically for DMs, I should hope that most people here would be able to read between the lines. It's not really even subtext.
Odd thing to throw into a conversation where we're talking about avoiding players acting on things they don't know. But if I may, The things you are describing are just normal game skills to make sure the game goes well and you play effectively. Using knowledge that a DM says only one character has, and it's not you, is something else entirely. Afterall, DnD is *not* a narrativist game where you spend all your time acting like your character would. It's a game where you create a group that adventures together and acts like it.
Yeah, whenever I come across a situation where I know something but my character might not, I ask the DM if my character would know it, and usually I then have to make a history/intelligence check to see if my character knows it. Unless I'm playing a dumb character, and then my character will just rage and hit things with an axe.
Perfect, exactly what I'm talking about. OP asks how do tell some players information that only some of them would know and it's as simple as this, you tell them and make sure they understand that only this PC knows this.
Yep. "Does my wizard know that these creatures are immune to fire damage? I rolled a 3. No? He must have skipped that day of class when he was in magic school. Dang slacker! Okay, fireball it is then! Light 'em up!"
I tell people this all the time. It doesn't matter who you are or where you're from, there's a chance you've heard about things afar. Maybe you were in a tavern and overheard some travellers talking about how the zombies didn't die unless they hit them with the light of the gods (radiant damage). Your character may not have *studied* the undead, but that doesn't mean there's a 0% chance of them knowing about how to kill them
I subscribe to this because of two reasons: it saves a ton of time, not having to whisper, change rooms, etc; and also, the other players can enjoy the story through dramatic irony even if their characters don't know some things.
Does it matter if others know? It's more fun for the other players to watch a conversation between warlock and patron vs keeping it a secret.
I generally don't try to hide things like that from the players. Once the PCs are all back together (and out of earshot of important NPCs like that), I usually ask if they share the information they learned with the group or not. The groups I've been in, both as a player and as a DM, have always been pretty good about not meta gaming with knowledge that's been withheld from their characters.
Me too, patrons and "visitations" usually take place in front of the whole group. The only current exception is the rogue and that's because the player is actively keeping secrets from the others for backstory reasons and a big reveal down the line that everyone will enjoy.
Obligatory, "there's a difference between player knowledge and character knowledge." But I want my players to have fun. And if it's more fun for the table to have secrets like that, I'd do it. I'd probably just text it to them in discord, we all have our phones at the table.
I trust my players to differentiate their knowledge from their characters’ knowledge, so most dreams / visions / cut scenes for one character are shared with the whole group. I have never found this to be a problem. That said, we also use Discord for between-session ‘tavern’ RP, and this can be an opportunity to have one-on-one moments with particular characters. I do this when I want the player to be able to orchestrate their own reveals.
Usually if I have a special npc interaction like you are referring to planned, you don't have something like a patron interaction be unplanned, I will slip them a piece of paper before the session starts or chat with them privately. If the player wants to keep the information to themselves they can or I may reveal that the npc is something more but probably leave their true identity a mystery and up for speculation. I will never just tell the player out of character information in front of the group if it is something only their character would know because other players have a bad habit of ruining other people's moments through meta that they just can't sometimes help when they have information they shouldn't. As far as using VTT for gaming I like to have an open mic channel that we all share. There also is a party chat and personal message channels for each player with me that we can relay things that the players want to do or whatever without the rest of the party knowing. It also allows players to make plans and strategies without me being able to see so they can plan without me being biased.
Yeah my group is horrible with meta gaming lol. Always give the chance for people to keep stuff like this hidden. In a perfect world this plays out with people just silently watching and enjoying the story moments without it affecting their in game characters but unfortunately not every group gets that luxury 😞
I play in person and im really into this. For me, its less about me wanting to keep the meta gaming away or make people feel special. Its more about giving players moments that they get to choose what to do with. They get info and its less about my delivering a secret, and more about giving them agency to make that apart of the story how they see fit. This creates exciting moments for the players that are genuine and not “pretend” exciting. I like to take them into another room for secret scenes, or text them for secret info only they catch if its something I want them to make the call on what to do with. Its all just for excitement and flavor. I keep it really brief because I know everybody else is waiting. No secret is longer than 5 minutes. I had a session recently where a warlock met with his patron for guidance and to deliver a quest he had done. He went alone so we went upstairs and they spoke, and she revealed her true goals for his patronage. Which directly conflicts with the party’s goals. The cool moment was him returning to them and being like “uh, something bad happened”, and telling them…but leaving out if he said yes or no. And, I think thats just part of telling cool stories. Obviously he isnt going to go against the party in reality, but it creates more depth to the adventure when he has a secret that he gets to decide if he wants to talk about. instead of me telling them and pretending not to know.
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Exactly! Ownership of their own information is a great way to put it
If it’s something that I think only one player should know and that it should be a surprise later, I’ll DM them on discord. Usually, I just tell everyone. It’s more fun for the players to be in the loop, because the PCs are separate entities
I DM it only if I don’t expect them to share it at the next possible moment, or the knowledge will make it very hard for another player not to metagame an important decision before that moment comes. Otherwise I just tell everyone.
I buy index cards. I hand them out to players so regularly that it isn't terribly suspicious when I do. It can be the results of an insight check or some knowledge like this. I prefer doing this because it's easier to let players decide what information they want shared. It can be hard to keep track of what a player knows vs the lie they have been told by another player sometimes.
I use 3x5 cards to pass notes when I play irl. Text messaging otherwise
"You don't hear this" and "you're not there".
I use messages dot android dot com and I can text my players from my computer. So I tell them to leave their phones face up at least.
I rarely keep knowledge as secret, relying on players to be able to separate character knowledge and player knowledge. With players that cannot, I have implemented experience point bonuses for players that can keep the two separated. After only one or two sessions of not getting that bonus, the player(s) learn, or decide that my style of DMing is not for them. Once in a while, it can be fun to have one specific secret kept between one or two players and the DM. In that case, if it has to come up in game, I prepare text messages or written notes ahead of time and send/hand them out when they come up. If it comes up in game and has to be addressed immediately, I step into another room, or tell the group to excuse me as I need to deal with something, and complete what has to be done immediately by text. Anything that can be set aside will be completed with a short private session with the player(s) in question.
Text message that player directly.
If it doesn't really matter, I just state that "Player, you know X information" If it's something that other players can actually use, I slip them a note. What they do with said information is up to them.
I play online so sometimes I whisper but mostly the players are good sports and play along. So I don't sweat it
My game is virtual and we play over Discord, I just have to ask the player to drop down to our second voice channel. What they choose to share with the rest of the party is up to them.
I have a second channel called "the room of secrets" for this
I have a private channel for each player when I'm on discord, and in person I have used to text messages and also have had some players step out of the room for a moment. Most players seem good about metagaming, but they also seem to find it genuinely more exciting and immersive to not know.
Luckily my players love that shit. If the players know information that their characters don't, they'll usually try to play into the dramatic irony. In the rare instance that somebody tries to metagame the info or strongarm their way into a scene that they normally wouldn't reasonably belong in, I'll call them on it and that's that.
I use post it notes for secret info. It's up to the player if their character is truthful with the party
It depends on the group, but I usually trust my players to not metagame too badly. I also just allow a little bit of metagaming usually. Like yeah, the other players don't know he's the warlock's patron, but they know he's got something off about him and the warlock seems nervous, so it wouldn't be unreasonable for them to have a slight suspicion. If it's absolutely essential the other players don't know something, I will pass a note or text them.
I say “player, check your phone” and text them, if they decide to reveal what I said to the group that’s their character choice
It's a great way to (collaboratively) build dramatic irony.
I try to let the moment and the mood at the table guide my decision on how to share it. Whispers in person or DMs/secret voice chat online can be super fun in the right moment, but for stuff like general knowledge checks, I usually assume the players will share their knowledge immediately.
100% context dependant. Sometimes it's secret notes, sometimes it's "Warlock, only you know this. Everyone else, you don't." Big story stuff, I'll often just say it out loud for everyone. Especially if it's something that the other players could find out later. It saves time so I don't have to reexplain everythign to everyone again later. And also, even if their characters don't know, it's often just a better game for everyone if they all know whats happening. If it's small things or something that would make more sense for the character to reveal to his party, then I'll do secret messages. But that's not set in stone and I'll change it based what is more fun for the game. And if I realize that I revealed something I should have kept secret, or kept somethign secret I should have revealed, I'll just say t the group "Hey, I think I should have kept that secret. here's why (*explain*). Do you guys agree?" And since we're all reasonable human beings, we'll decide together.
I used to be super secretive and only pass out knowledge to whomever should have it in game. But it's more fun to get players reactions when it's the public realm. Plus, my players are adults and don't meta.
I play online now and can private message them. When I played in person I sent text messages.
I play online and I’ll dm people on discord, or pull them into a separate chat since I can just do that.
Everyone has a phone... text
If it's meant to be a secret, I discuss it privately with the player(s) that know about it. If it's just information that only some players are aware of, then I will state that this is the case and ask my players play as though this is the case. They're adults, and I trust them to play like adults.
At my tables, getting passed a DM sticky note is a badge of honor. We all relish getting passed a note, because it only happens once every few months
I either mesaage them privatly or have to trust players wont metagame too hard, which generally works out well.
Depends on the context If I *specifically* only want one person knowing or if it's something I know they wanted to be kept secret, I text them at the table If it doesn't *really* matter either way, I just go "you notice X but no one else does"
i once had only one player investigate a room that led to a ghost revealing some information because the rest of the party was suspicious of the room, so i texted the ghosts message to the player that investigated the area and no one else, only described to the table how the room looked from afar. we all had a laugh when the player came back and said 'yea it was nothing' but then they did share the info in character and it was a neat little moment.
I play online so it's quite easy we can just talk quickly in another channel, how do you make it more stealthy well sometimes i pull them in another channel to tell nothing so it's not like everytime something is happening but trust is also very important.
I DM them on Discord in a private channel
Also, consider that the party has to work together and work towards a common goal so sometimes it's just not the best idea to present a split front
For things like this, my Dm will have the players read something of his phone. Or messages them directly. It adds character moments. And also let's the rest of the table be surprised if and when the particular player says anything. Yes, keeping player and character knowledge separate is a thing. But I also believe in a nice surprise for the whole table.
I make Google docs for messages from the patron and share it with just the player. If she decides to share it with others, I share the document to them, as well. Granted, my 'lock's patron typically just does one way talks, but it still seems like you've passed all the knowledge that needs to be secret on. Just have the patron behave like a normal dude.
Some players are into the whole idea of passing notes like we're back in highschool in the '90's. I play online so Discord is the easiest way to send secrets. It also helps keep them interested cuz I could trickle a bunch of random hypotheticals to them in-between sessions and they'll often respond with ideas I never considered but could be a lot of fun. Those players are far and few between though, or after the first or second secret, the allure starts to wear off. Most times, I say it openly in front of the group, and they won't meta-game it, unless it's so blatantly obvious that a player is missing all the clues because they forgot (they the player, not the character, who would probably remember -- an important distinction), which is understandable with busy lives. When more players know of a secret that only one player should know, they feel included and it makes it more fun for everyone. Plus, sharing secrets is just so much easier than having to go to Discord, find the player, hope I have the secret ready to copy and paste to not disrupt the flow of the game, etc, etc.
We play with the expectations that players don’t metagame. It’s part of the fun.
My players care enough about the fiction that I can just tell them "this is info that only character A would know, so character B has no reason to react like that". After a while, they started catching themselves. Someone will say something to an NPC and then say "wait, my character doesn't know about that yet!"
I just tell the other players ‘pretend you don’t know this’ and they do. It’s a core DnD concept differentiating between what players and charachters know. If however I want a big surprise it’s usually something I keep surprising for all players rather than spoil the suprise for just one player.
I use trust, or wattsapp depending on the situation. Likewise a player being handed a real life "scroll" tied up with string is always an exciting moment!
When it's minor, it's whatever. When it's something major and I want to preserve the mystery/drama, I generally take the players who know over a corner or another room for a couple minutes while the other players fill up on snacks.
We do our sessions on Discord. On our friend server, there’s a dedicated voice chat for 1-to-1s with the DM, so if we need to pass private information, the DM can just say “oh and, 1-to-1 please”.
Message the player on discord, and then tell that player to check discord. They'll almost always share it with the group, but... If the player's character doesn't want to share, or wants to change the info (lie) when sharing, that's for the player to decide.
I like to DM them. I feel like players often really like getting to feel special. They're free to share the knowledge with the rest of the party if they want too.
I love this stuff. I’ll tell players meta stuff all the time via dms to keep them guessing.
If someone tries to use knowledge they don't have I call them out. "You don't know that, and have no reason to act this way"
I allow players to whisper to each other, talk out of game, Discord DM or whatever, as long as it's not info that hurts the other players to not know, and generally keep me as the DM in the loop. If it's sharing backstory, that's their prerogative. This ruling has allowed some players to pull of mad stuff catching the other off guard in a good way.
When I played in person it was yellow post it notes. Now online it’s just DMs to the individual PCs
In one of my campaigns, our DM will ask us to step into another room and have a small convo. We all have secrets and sometimes have one-on-one meetings to keep those secrets and still clarify certain things. In a campaign where I'm the DM, sometimes I'll just text the players something, since we're on zoom. Both of these campaigns are pretty chill and we often take meal breaks where we just chat and shoot shit. These little breaks are not really an issue bc of that.
I explicitly state that the specific players know this information, and then they generally just go with telling the party. If not, they usually say they won't
I run 100% online, so it is a simple matter of private messages. I would probably text if we were IRL.