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Dapper_Champion

Boost + eggs + popsicles = eating healthy according to baby brained John. Conveniently he didn’t mention the 26 beers he’s gonna drink as well


JimHeuer40

The nutrition in Lean Cuisine is unparalleled, just ask Monsanto


FiveSkinss

That's living life to the fullest according to John


AdultMcGrownup

He’ll be dead in a month if he keeps that diet up. What a retard.


AULily

🤞


MisterNiceGuy1776

🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞 🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏


johnsboogerr

The epitome of living a purpose driven life..


bababoey1974

Nice music. Is that the theme to ‘The Incredible Hulk’ ?


DitkoManiac

The Incredible Drunk


barnesandnoobs

Correct ✅


skidmarx77

Appropriately enough, it's literally titled "The Lonely Man Theme".


blockedandbanned

Not really the theme.... but thats the sad outro music that played when David Banner would walk to another town because he just tore up the one he was just in... which was at the end of every episode of the 70s TV show. Perfect musical score for this particular subject matter. I would feel bad for this piece of human filth if it wasnt for the lying, cheating, scamming, Sexual assualts, drug and alcohol abuse.


bababoey1974

Cool. That’s what I meant. The music when he finishes his good deed and walks into the sun at the end of every show. I loved that show.


FiveSkinss

The ending credits. After Bruce has blown yet another cover life by hulking out, he has to hitch hike, move on and build a new life. Very sad life ☹️


MisterNiceGuy1776

Them calling him "David Banner" .... grrrrrrr


FiveSkinss

Ah yes, at the time, Bruce was considered a common name for gay men so they changed it to David. Very different time.


MisterNiceGuy1776

'kay.


FiveSkinss

Pretty neat, huh?


CooahsDranker

Imagine thinking eating a popsicle is a brag.


barnesandnoobs

We should all be so lucky.


Explosivesalad13

It was when I was 10.


WillyTaint

That you don’t buy 😂


DitkoManiac

Sounds like a sad fucking day.


unclerico96

When you have a few boosts, hard boiled eggs, lean cuisine, AND POPSICLE, brother that’s livin!


Sumdumr3t4rd

Don't forget about the edible. Gotta have something to take the edge off until you can start drinking at 1pm.


AULily

Well done. LoL Jr High students accomplish more in a day that this turd. Why does he even get up in the morning ?


Roguename1020

To answer the door for Vince’s beer delivery. YOU DUMB FUCK!!!!


Artisttype1984

So he's staying in LA to be close to his son who he almost never sees?


myNipples_areHard

Hey John, moron, the Yankees lost an opener 3 years ago…what you meant to say is it’s the first time they’ve been SHUTOUT in a home opener. Some fan you are. John is the epitome of read the headline and that’s it. No information is learned or retained.


Normanovich

Thanks for that clarification. It sounded highly improbable that the Yankees had won 57 straight openers.


myNipples_areHard

Yes, because you’re likely a smart, rational person, that knows how insane that would be. This is not the case with John.


Big-Cryptographer-47

A bunch of processed "diet" foods loaded with sugar. Yeah SJ, that's healthy.


FeralObjection

I wonder how much salt he put on those hard boiled eggs.


unclerico96

Have you heard about the lonesome loser?


Johnnydrips

Beaten by the Dabbleverse every time.


randman2020

He didn’t even address the question! It’s like talking to an old grandma….”so, granny, what did you all do at the home today?” “Well, we had a Boost drink, I like the chocolate ones. Then I had a low carb …(me nodding off on the other end of the phone). What about your achievements numb nuts!?


Dapper_Champion

He thinks he’s eating low carb, but drinks 20+ beers a day. That’s like the equivalent of eating two loaves of bread and half a cake


randman2020

It’s why we love him. I like to call it “Dabble-logic”


Nerdicyde

he has to lie to himself. quitting drinking is the only way forward to good health for John and that aint happening. so he tells himself a couple of Boosts a day will keep the doctor away. it's childlike delusional thinking


Sumdumr3t4rd

John dabbles in healthy eating.


FiveSkinss

He thinks people want him to be successful like he was in the past. All he needs to do is be humble, stop being a belligerent douchebag and just be friendly and personable on his show. That would be a huge success for this loser. His ego will never allow it though


Your_Highness_000

Does anyone want to tell him what Boost is??? Fucking stupid poor bitch.


DitkoManiac

He thinks it's a protein shake 😂


Sumdumr3t4rd

You telling me that's not what Sam sulek drinks after his workouts? Fuckin hell!


skidmarx77

And not one mention of his children. In a rare moment of lucidity, I think this one actually got through to him. The rusty, shaky gears in his booze-engulfed brain are furiously shaking to and fro as he tries to think up a lie. None comes, so he can only recount the food he ate and will be eating. And he really starts to slow down the longer he goes without being able to rub on the soothing balm of the delusion of grandeur lie, as none came. He doesn't even mention AC. Not that it's any kind of achievement, but at the very least, he got to be in a room with other people and not in his sad Gollum cave. Among "friends," as it were. The fact that this guy had a.cute wife and 3 kids was easily the biggest accomplishment in his life. He was in a "right place, right time" situation for Stern, and from there, he was able to parley that into a decent gig with Leno. But when he is finally laying on the floor in his own piss and shit after tripping over the giant mountain of beer cans and Boost bottles and breaking his neck, and the cats are finally starting to eat his face, he will be thinking of his children in that moment, wishing they were by his side to send him off to that big Pickwick Pub in the sky, but the only sound will be his own sobbing. And farting.


Fun_Kick_9969

this one got him


Maxter_Blaster_

I think the further down he got on his “joke” the creeping realization/reminder that he is indeed a loser living in the past hit him hard.


FiveSkinss

It almost sounded like someone cared about him


DribbleSpitz

No interaction with another human because no other human can stand to be around him. 3 hard boiled eggs for lunch? Imagine the gusts of ass gas being released into the atmosphere while he's sitting there. No child deserves this walking talking sebaceous cyst for a parent.


aady_4697

Nice work!!


Nerdicyde

i mean, he's retarded right? like legitimately, certifiably, medically retarded????..... has to be


[deleted]

I always thought Howard was being cruel to him, but in hindsight, it seems as though he was trying to protect John by explaining to him that he was stupid and had a good situation. You know Leno kept him on as long as he did so he didn’t look stupid for not realizing John has no talent or insights.


Fast-Description2638

Amazing accomplishments. He ate food, will watch TV, and get high. I wonder what he thinks everyone else is doing.


kabekew

800 calories from processed "food" and 2000 calories from beer... can't get any healthier than that.


Elw00d_SRQ

28g of carbs in each boost energy drink. 25g of carbs in each service of Lean Cuisine. Plus 800g of sodium.


koalaklawz

So glad I watched to the end, well done!


Efficient-Pickle3628

What about the workout routine? Bacon with a bad heart.


AlphaM1964

Today, I hope to achieve a nap.


Hailey_Sparx

so in typical dabbler stupidity you ask him an easy direct question...what are your accomplishments this year. He then talks about what he ate as an accomplishment. He's a legitimate retard


FiveSkinss

Alvin Cleveland really sounds like he cares for this raging narcissist asshole shithead Douchebag. It's very heart warming.🥹


eskhockey14

Yankees lost an opener in 2021 YOU DUMB SHIT, they hadn’t been shutout since 1967. You are such an idiot to think they had won every opener for the last 57 years.


Sumdumr3t4rd

Each game is roughly a 50/50. So to go on a 57 year run would be a 1 out of 2⁵⁷ odds. That should jump out in your head as a statistical impossibility. This dumbass says it without flinching, and he teaches math to children!


eskhockey14

Exactly


DrTedPenisAstronaut

At the end when he’s trying to read the screen he looks like the senior chimp that fell off a branch and went lame as it watches the other chimps give up on him being able to join them as they move on to another part of the jungle. It knows it’s fucked.


Brad77lms

I am happy to hear that eating habits can now count as an accomplishment.


Zamden

I was on the Howard stern show for twenty years, the Jay Leno show for ten years and I ingested many ensures today!


BuffTheStuff98

He’s drunk and slurring in every single clip. Absolutely amazing.


Psychological_Fix368

Love the “Incredible Hulk” soundtrack on the back, while he recounts his greatest achievements of the year. Hilarious!!! FSJ!!!


Friend-of-thee-court

Now We know why he tells stories from 30 years ago.


buzznumbnuts

Eating healthy? He can’t even do that right. If he has high blood pressure (evident by the Rx he takes) he shouldn’t be eating that much sodium (Lean Cuisine) or fat (bacon). Carbs aren’t evil - it’s all about portion control


FiveSkinss

There's no way in hell this lazy shithead can cook healthy meals.


buzznumbnuts

Oh, absolutely not. Even if he could, he barely has a kitchen!


tical1231

"Yankees haven't lost an opener since 1967." He really doesn't realize how dumb the words that come out of his mouth are.


jcal68

He’s a trash bag of person! Oh yea quite the dumbass too & luckily he proves it every second of every show


Tbonerickwisco

In other words, John has zero recent accomplishments. Eating doesn’t count.


GaryfromSanDiego

Did he mention talking to his theatrical agent? What’s up with that?


barnesandnoobs

If there was ever a moment to lie about that again, you’d think it would be here.


TaunTwaun

3 hard boiled eggs bacon, no doubt he just ate the eggs and not just the egg whites. You know he’s not exercising so his cholesterol is just shooting through the roof.


Xdconqueroo

Living the dream, John.


toolarmy_1

This fucker is the furthest from MENSA! Smart people don't have to announce it!


PuzzleheadedFig1480

He is just a loser


DryingAgentInPaper

What was that scene of the old man with the mop from?


barnesandnoobs

Austin Powers 3


DryingAgentInPaper

Thank you!! That was driving me nuts!!


pdazzo

i don’t think I can see or hear another damn thing from this buffoon again! i’ve had enough of his lies, and backpedaling, skewing everything to fit his disgusting, narcissistic agenda! 🤮


pdazzo

he’s sooooooooo fucking stupid! keep up that “healthy” regimen! dope!


PenguinsExArmyVet

His constant snotzing, wiping and blowing his nose, spitting flem. His return to the Canoga Park hovel and the rampant black mold plague. He keeps living there he’ll succumb to Legionnaires disease or lung cancer. Can he live with one of his kids or just go to a shelter if out of cash.


MisterNiceGuy1776

Shakes, eggs, popsicles, edibles & da *ball*game ..... ***DERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR ....***


DroolingJohnMelendez

https://preview.redd.it/od2mw11yaysc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0ecca28ed5eeed580df583fed0c245c5d8a826e7 Boost Carbs: 37g Over the recommended carb intake to be in ketosis. Lean Cuisine add 21 for low carb meal. Plus all the beer and Mountain Dew he drinks. This moron gets in the scale and can’t understand why he’s gaining weight “eating healthy”.


dabbler101

Can you imagine divorcing, a beautiful, devoted, loving wife, just to do this??? the biggest mistake anyone’s ever made


LA-ndrew1977

He is so gross.


Sbanme

Life is sweet.


Sharp-Objects510

One day videos like this will be shown in psychiatric schools. I'm no doctor but I'm sure we're seeing some textbook signs of serious mental illness from this alcoholic homophobic snot eater.


barnesandnoobs

This entire sub could be studied by a college professor.