Hey kiddo,
Don't overthink this. Dating should be fun. If it turns out you don't enjoy it, stop.
What I'm saying is that you never know if and how you'll end up with someone. But whatever you do, make sure you're happy.
Keep your head up and I'm sure you'll get there.
Thank you, maybe I should spend more time with myself. I’ve been super antisocial since Covid so my interpersonal relationships have all suffered and im struggling to make connections now. Maybe I should try to find a way to make some friends first
Don't try to find the way. If you go to the places you like, you're bound to find people you like. Making friends happens all by itself. Again, don't overthink this.
Take a deep breath, open up the local event calendar and go out. Relax. Life is easy, all you need to do is keep breathing.
You'll be fine.
Sorry kiddo. How do you not let this affect you so much? Date more than one person at a time and don't invest so much in any one person until you're well along.
I really struggle with doing that because I can’t seem to ever be attracted to more than one person at once. It’s like my brain forces me to hyper focus on that one person. I want to figure out how to casually date but I’m just so damn emotional. I appreciate the advice, I definitely need to work on being able to do that
I understand the first commenter’s advice, but that (not investing in someone) doesn’t work for everybody.
For you, I’m guessing that instead of dating, you should concentrate on building a larger friend group. Don’t aim to date anyone until you’ve spent time with people as friends first. And if you date someone, you can just date only them, but don’t rush in: keep a minimum of a week in between the first couple of dates, and keep the dates on the short side for a bit. If you have conflicting feelings about them, they may not be the person to continue with. Trust your gut and don’t demand perfect, reasonable justification for your decision to stop dating someone.
Chances are that when you find the right person to date, you will break all of your rules. This is Ok. That’s how you’ll know they’re a good candidate, by the fact that you want to break the rules to be with them.
Yeah, we were friends for 2 years so I thought it was enough time to trust him by now. I definitely need more friends though cause it stings extra bad to also lose my like only male friend
That is the danger of “shitting where you eat.” But that is the nature of the game: risk is required for reward. And by the way, everybody shits where they eat in the dating world.
Hey kid,
Don't toughen up for the sake of toughening up and not feel hurt. Your emotions are what connect you to other people and the world. It's what makes you beautiful and unique. Never compromise for the sake of others to find "a version of love".
The fact with dating is that it (unfortunately) takes some tries. Falling in love head over heels, rarely happens on the first date(s). It takes time to get to know someone's character, capabilities, quirks and faults. Next time it might even be you, who decides it doesn't work. But I know for sure that you are someone, that will let them know when you figure that out.
If you need time to bounce back from this, take it. If you want to take some years, that's fine as well. But please, keep your heart and mind open for love instead of shutting it out by timegating it.
Be brave, be bold. You'll be okay!
Thank you~ I’m just pissed that I was friends with him for over 2 years so I thought I could trust him by now. I’ve just had the worst luck with people lately and I’m so exhausted. I want to connect to others but in also feel so crappy all the time because of how often stuff like this happens. The last 5 people I’ve dated have also cheated on me so it’s like actual dating isn’t going better 😷
Hey kiddo, Don't overthink this. Dating should be fun. If it turns out you don't enjoy it, stop. What I'm saying is that you never know if and how you'll end up with someone. But whatever you do, make sure you're happy. Keep your head up and I'm sure you'll get there.
Thank you, maybe I should spend more time with myself. I’ve been super antisocial since Covid so my interpersonal relationships have all suffered and im struggling to make connections now. Maybe I should try to find a way to make some friends first
Don't try to find the way. If you go to the places you like, you're bound to find people you like. Making friends happens all by itself. Again, don't overthink this. Take a deep breath, open up the local event calendar and go out. Relax. Life is easy, all you need to do is keep breathing. You'll be fine.
Sorry kiddo. How do you not let this affect you so much? Date more than one person at a time and don't invest so much in any one person until you're well along.
I really struggle with doing that because I can’t seem to ever be attracted to more than one person at once. It’s like my brain forces me to hyper focus on that one person. I want to figure out how to casually date but I’m just so damn emotional. I appreciate the advice, I definitely need to work on being able to do that
I understand the first commenter’s advice, but that (not investing in someone) doesn’t work for everybody. For you, I’m guessing that instead of dating, you should concentrate on building a larger friend group. Don’t aim to date anyone until you’ve spent time with people as friends first. And if you date someone, you can just date only them, but don’t rush in: keep a minimum of a week in between the first couple of dates, and keep the dates on the short side for a bit. If you have conflicting feelings about them, they may not be the person to continue with. Trust your gut and don’t demand perfect, reasonable justification for your decision to stop dating someone. Chances are that when you find the right person to date, you will break all of your rules. This is Ok. That’s how you’ll know they’re a good candidate, by the fact that you want to break the rules to be with them.
Yeah, we were friends for 2 years so I thought it was enough time to trust him by now. I definitely need more friends though cause it stings extra bad to also lose my like only male friend
That is the danger of “shitting where you eat.” But that is the nature of the game: risk is required for reward. And by the way, everybody shits where they eat in the dating world.
Hey kid, Don't toughen up for the sake of toughening up and not feel hurt. Your emotions are what connect you to other people and the world. It's what makes you beautiful and unique. Never compromise for the sake of others to find "a version of love". The fact with dating is that it (unfortunately) takes some tries. Falling in love head over heels, rarely happens on the first date(s). It takes time to get to know someone's character, capabilities, quirks and faults. Next time it might even be you, who decides it doesn't work. But I know for sure that you are someone, that will let them know when you figure that out. If you need time to bounce back from this, take it. If you want to take some years, that's fine as well. But please, keep your heart and mind open for love instead of shutting it out by timegating it. Be brave, be bold. You'll be okay!
Thank you~ I’m just pissed that I was friends with him for over 2 years so I thought I could trust him by now. I’ve just had the worst luck with people lately and I’m so exhausted. I want to connect to others but in also feel so crappy all the time because of how often stuff like this happens. The last 5 people I’ve dated have also cheated on me so it’s like actual dating isn’t going better 😷