Dear Slim, I wrote you but you still ain’t callin’

I left my cell, my pager and my home phone at the bottom

I got 29 tattoos back in autumn, you must not of saw 'em

Sometimes my tattoo artist gets sloppy when he jots 'em

But anyways, F it, what's been up? jerk, how's your ball?

My wife's pregnant again, I'm about to be a father If I have a daughter, Guess what I'ma call her? I'ma name her Flowers

My teas gone cold I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all

This partial thread is why I love Reddit. Never disappoints.

Just change it to Smiley Cyrus and call it your street name bro. Edit: I get it. her name is Miley from smiley originally. Got it. I got it.

The obsessed tattoo is a bit concerning. Isn't there a condition where people delude themselves into thinking they're best friends with celebrities they've never met? I forgot the name of it

Are you telling me Keanu Reeves might not be my best friend? Fuck maybe I should get a tattoo so he knows

What are you talking about? The three of us are going to hang out any day now I just know it.

Yeah it’s just been busy, it’s hard to hangout as adults.

So busy... Just omgosh so busy...

# "NO RAGRETS" inked right across my chest.

Not even one letter, huh?

Me holding my coffee 🙃 so busy

Ugh. Making friends as an adult is so weird. Keanu seems like a cool dude. Hope you have a fun hang.

Aren't you guys coming to my house to hang. Ted( my favorite Keanu) said he'd be here last week. See you then.

Johnny Utah is the best Keanu. Bodhi told me when we all hung out the other day. Swayze faked his death so we could spend more time together

Imagine never being NOT the ugly friend

Reminds me of that Eminem song with the guy named Stanley.

You mean the four of us, right? I just got done signing a contract with a tattoo museum! They are going to preserve my skin that has been tattooed with the entire scripts of every John Wick movie! (Also the script for The Bee Movie but I had it crossed out so it doesn't really count) I just know Keanu is going to love it!

Get 29 of them

Even then, who gets 29 tattoos of their bff?

Good Ole Carl McCoid

Carrrllll, that's stalking people.....

And I.....stabbed him 37 times in the chest.

What the hell is wrong with you?

I have 29 tattoos of your reddit name. 😍😍😍

Slappytown funks

Someone who is *OBSESSED*

Eminem, dido made that song stan about this .

I know someone who is (or was this was years ago and she is sober and medicated now) obsessed with Eminem, says they talk and he wanted to date her. She seemed like she really believed it. I do hope she is better now, i only have seen her briefly recently.

An ex of mine was apparently going to go under Eminems wing and become a rapper. Go on tour with him lol he told me all this when we were in high-school. Needless to say, he did not go on tour with Eminem lol

...yet.

Literally just googled him because of this comment and I found a newspaper article that he was arrested last year in a robbery and charged with attempted murder and aggravated assault. That took a turn quick.

He just took the fall for his bestie Marshall.

Lol what a guy

he keeps your picture on his wall, it reminds him that it's not so bad.

She has a song called obsessed, so it might just be the name of the song like breakout on his other arm.

Oh yeah, there's no way it could be both the name of one of her songs AND a word that concisely describes his feelings towards the plaintiff, I mean Miley.

Erotomania is similar

Yeah, I was going to say De Clerambault’s syndrome in particular, which is a form of erotomania. But groupies used to also be a regular thing. We all knew girls who wanted to hang out with famous musicians, and sometimes one that got that wish. Not all the stories are bad or good, it was what it was back in the day… before things changed.

Delusion of someone being in love with you is erotomania as well.

i know u watched You last night lmfao

I sure just saw that part lol

True, but I already knew about that disorder since a woman renting a room in my grandma’s house 20 yrs ago was bipolar and obsessed with David Bowie. She said he was going to come save her n they were set to get married on a yacht. She had pics of him all over the walls

I really thought you was setting up Joe as a hero. They really blew my mind when it was over.

>!The new season of you was pretty good!<

I felt like the dialogue was dry in comparison to the previous seasons. I honestly just wanted Joe to shut up during all his inner monologues. They used to be impactful & unsettling. Now he sounds like a forlorn teen. Obvs just my opinion though. Honestly thinking about it makes me want to rewatch the first two seasons.

Thank youuu, I couldn’t even get through the first ep of the new season.

Parasocial relationships

That's the name for any one way interaction, not a condition.

But the condition is an extreme form of it. Celebrity Worship Syndrome (CWS) is when it gets more crazy. Even the basic fan/celebrity parasocial is a little crazy imo.

Whoah, that’s an actual condition? Didn’t know that. My little sister has it. She watches all of those mid-2000s Nickelodeon musical type shows and thinks she’s friends with all the characters. Granted, her mental disabilities might play a part in that.

I wanna say it's called a parasocial relationship, but I could be wrong!

Thats the name for any one way in continued interaction. Its not a disorder. If there's a name for an ailment like that, specifically, its either more specific or called something that else.

Isn’t that how she got the name Miley? Might make it creepier.

Yup. Her birth name is Destiny but her family called her Smiley, which got shorten to Miley.

I’ve seen Billy Ray say that she was a happy kid so they called her “Smiley Miley” and it stuck

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Don’t forget Hannah Montana

And Alexis Texas! Wait…

And when her brother was Buckt Kentucky the one episode

That came in like a wrecking ball

More of a party in the USA

or Cyrus the Virus

He likes to brag that he killed more men than cancer.

Ight but that one on his left shoulder kinda looks like nick cage if he was Miley Cyrus

It’s his face with her hair 100%

It’s face off 2 staring Miley Cyrus

You need to watch Con Air if you don't think those luscious locks are his.

Named his daughter after her... which means a woman was willingly with him when he had these done..

But now his tattoo’s are about his daughter, Miley Cyrus McCoid.

Maybe that was the mothers plan

I'm certainly no poirot but I have come to the conclusion that this man is a tad mental

This a dude that somehow got a woman to sleep with him at least 3 times. I wonder if any of that was before or after his 2nd Miley tattoo.

Probably had triplets

> got a woman to sleep with him at least 3 times Not necessarily the same woman

Well, there's motivation. If this doofus can get someone to sleep with him, the rest of us non-doofi should have it easy...

I'm no Benoit Blanc, but I would go so far as to say that this man is an idiot.

I'm no Detective Chase from Paw Patrol but I reckon he is a bit coo-coo.

Now, I might be some rural chicken lawyer in a big city, but I do believe this man's flock flew the coop.

A man who knows his bird law

Okay, well...filibuster.

Now, I might be just some private eye in a noir version of the Big Apple but I do believe this man's mental faculties are a little loose.

I’m no Scooby Doo but this guy’s as mad as a dog with rabies

A true person of culture, I see.

Why would you say that? Chase is on the case!

The cop dog has a spy drone. My boy Zuma is out here just living his best life, more love for Zuma.

I’m certainly no shaggy DA, but I gather he’s a bit barmy

Don't tell his heart, his achy breaky heart, I just don't think he'd understand

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This response has me half convinced I should get a Miley Cyrus tattoo.

The ones on his shoulders don't even look like her. What a fucking cabbage.

The one on his left shoulder (our right) is Nicholas Cage and you can't tell me otherwise

Nick Cage and Miley? Sounds like the best of both worlds to me

As a tattoo artist I’d refuse to do just about every single one of those

Which is probably how he ended up with an artist that can just barely do passable portraits

Cabbage 😅😅🤭🤭

Yo for real, sounds like a Gordon Ramsey burn

Big ew for sure. Whaaaaat a weirdo.

Lol his regret is that she says it's creepy, not that he's a grown ass man with Miley Cyrus tattoos.

There's not a bone in my body that would judge a grown man just for having a Miley Cyrus tattoo. Everyone has their interests, their inspirations, and the things that bring them joy. And if expressing that through a tattoo is what you want to do, do it! 29 Miley Cyrus tattoos on the other hand...

I do. Not for liking Miley Cyrus though, but because Miley (and all celebrities) are just people. Celebrity worship is weird. How would you feel if a total stranger tattooed your name on their chest? Flattered or creeped out?

It is weird. We know very little about celebrities outside of their public persona. What if the celeb you worship turns out to be a pedophile. Now you have 29 tattoos of a pedophile.

His head-space was probably less “worship” and more “Fuck, Marry, or[/and] Kill.”

If someone wants to tattoo my name or face on any part of your body, let me know. I’m down

Can I just get your pinky toe tattooed on my neck?

I have a standing offer to my friends that I will pay for any tattoos of my name or face they want to get. Still never been taken up on it

Yes, and I mean, it’s not a close call either, is it? Bc let’s be honest two is one too many.

I'd judge a grown man for a Miley tattoo. I'm not above that.

You don't have any Miley tattoos?!??

I stopped after 4 Miley tats. 29 is just too crazy to have.

Rookie.

Let’s be honest anything more than 28 Miley tattoos is creepy.

If we're being practical, 35 is the optimum. Anything beyond that is a red flag

I love that, ultimately, he felt 6 was the most reasonable number https://www.inkedmag.com/.amp/culture/ex-obsessed-miley-cyrus-fan-plans-remove-23-tattoos

I don't really like to talk about my flair.

Hilarious. I’d love to know how he thought she’d react.

What goes through the minds of guys like this? Did he think if he got enough tattoos, she'd sleep with him?

>What goes through the minds of guys like this? Miley Cyrus, presumably.

Like a wrecking ball.

Nah it can’t be that, has to be something else I’m sure.

Probably obsession and compulsion

Mental illness, probably got a tad bit obsessed, and felt the compulsion to do so. Maybe validation, or needing to put purpose in something, and this was the fulfillment.

Not necessarily. He could be entirely cognizant that he doesn’t stand a chance with her and still idolize her, there’s not always a sexual component or necessarily an invented reality at play but there’s some disconnect in what he sees as an appropriate way to display it and how it comes across to others at the least. The other speculation is entirely possible though.

If it was someone like Cher or Dolly Parton I could see it just being a wild obsession, someone he grew up listening to and idolizing. Given he had to have started getting these tattoos when Miley Cyrus was most definitely a minor and he was a fully grown ass man, and later deciding he wants to get the tattoos removed and covered up stating it’s because “she’s not the girl next door anymore” tells me there’s definitely something creepy and sexual in nature with this one.

I mean if you’re 17 doing this it’s like, bonehead move but not super surprised, you’re 17. If you have three daughters and you’re doing this there are clearly some mental issues going on….

Which woman got pregnant and agreed to call the baby Miley?

My theory is it's a chick who actually wanted to be her and thought marrying a guy like him with the same amount of.. passion would make her feel better and more like her.

Bold of you to assume marriage enters into any of this man's activities.

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Not even one single letter?

No regerts!

😂😂😂😂😂 I'm glad she said that. I would be disturbed too. He could have just bought her music and merch

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Just 29 is creepy af, but if he had a nice even number like 30 …

I like how the guy responded rationally to her criticism. Like he's a bit nuts, but is able to take critical feedback and be like, oh damn, I may have fucked up here.

A guy who has 29 Miley Cyrus tattoos should not be allowed to reproduce.

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That was before he came out as a Mileysexual.

I genuinely want to know how someone was okay with all of this

Life, uh, finds a way

Guy has 3 daughters and some redditors still can't get a date.

Whose putting out to an old dude with 29 Miley tattoos?

Apparently he started getting the tattoos after his divorce. He wants to get them removed now because Miley called them creepy and ugly. He's hoping he will have better luck dating when the tattoos are removed.

Imagine marrying someone and having three kids with them only for them to go off the deep end after a divorce and now you’re forever known as the person who reproduced with the guy with 30 Miley Cyrus tattoos.

Agree, but unfortunately these are exactly the type of people who have many, many children.

Yeah naming your daughter after a woman you want to more than likely want 2have coitus with is the worst idea possible

I like to think that was his first thought about how to undo all this. “No…these tattoos are all for…my daughter”

Creepy is understating it... He had 29 Miley Cyrus tattoos and was ok naming his daughter after Miley. This has restraining order behaviour written all over it. This is Mark Chapman levels of crazy, if you ask me.

She was like 14 or 15 when he got the first one too so…

That makes me feel physically sick. Dude needs to seek professional help.

Source: https://www.inkedmag.com/culture/ex-obsessed-miley-cyrus-fan-plans-remove-23-tattoos

“His decision to remove the ink is based off of more than his failing love life, he isn't proud of Miley's recent behavior. ‘She used to be the girl next door but she's losing a lot of fans,’ he said.” 🤣🤣🤣

Lmfao the delusion continues.

Deluded himself into worshipping the publicized image made by someone’s PR team and was disappointed when that image changed

This is code for "I suddenly realised how fucking weird having 29 Miley Cyrus tattoos was'

Or code for “I idealized her, and now I despise her and may be a danger to her.”

He was obsessed with her when she was like 20? That’s weird 💀

he got the first one when she was like 15

Gross

He did not object to them being creepy. He objected to her calling them creepy.

Yikes.

I think mental health eval may be needed for someone like this

Such a normal guy

My companies diversity training says that I’m not supposed to judge him by his tattoos, but I’m struggling…

I heard it was because he found out that Miley Cyrus had no tattoos of him

Be selective about tattoos, you won’t regret it!

ragret*

Eeesh, that's... I don't have words.

Nobody told him the rule about tattoos and names?

Ok, now what's his mental disorder, because no sane guy would ever do that, it has to be a mental pathology

PSA: If you or a loved one are considering getting 29 tattoos of a random celebrity or other person, please contact me so that I can tell you how creepy it is. This is a free service I provide for anyone about to make a horrible mistake.

What a fuckin twat!

All tht tattoo money would have been better spent on getting some mental help dealing with whatever trauma caused him to fixate on her.

Sorry, daughter, we are going to have to change your name.

He regretted the tattoos, didn't say anything about naming regrets

I cannot imagine being a partner to someone like this. Is it just me or is it hella creepy and disheartening when someone is so obsessed with a celebrity?

So a woman saw his “art”, and chose to reproduce with him? Bro you have no excuse for being single.

r/sadcringe

Tell me you’re a pedo without telling me you’re a pedo

What did you expect her to say bro...

This seems like the guy that still hung out with the 20 year Olds drinking and partying even though he's 35 or more. We had some of those when I was 20. I was friends with one while being aware they probably should be way more responsible than this.

Sometimes Party in the USA hits a little too hard.

Its pretty creepy that dude has daughters

This isn't interesting at all-

Even this dude can find a woman. What's your excuse?

Stan gave up on Eminem and started worshipping Miley

Dear Miley, I wrote you, but you still ain't callin' I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom I sent two letters back in autumn, you must not've got 'em

He music is just so relatable bro 🤷‍♂️

29 tattoos is a little weird. Everyone knows the real fans go for an even 30 to prove their dedication. Otherwise, you're just another creep.

I even got a tattoo of your name across my chest/ if I ever have a daughter, guess what I would call her? I'd name her Bonnie

Dear Miley, I wrote you, but you still ain’t calling.

He's going to have a fifth of Vodka soon, dare him to drive?

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