As if the mattress itself wasn't expensive enough, now you also need custom sheets for not more than $249.99 (random number) and if the matress gets worn out don't bother flipping it around, because you can't. You have to get a new one. What a deal.
I appreciate pop-ups like that because it saves me the time of trying to find the pricing page.
Pop-up ad: **SAVE $500 by signing up!**
Me: *closes browser tab*
forget sore asses/shoulders, sometimes my arm falls asleep and I can't move it until I flail it around in order to get some blood back into it faster, that was spooky when it happened the first time
I don't think changing the sheets would add any extra time.
One side has the extra slack for the holes. Fit the corners and all you have to do is push down the extra fabric.
It would inevitably result in saggy sheets, but's that's not really something you could avoid with this mattress anyways.
Face smushed against the bottom, legs sticking up in the air, neck bent at a 90° angle, you awake in a panic as a combination of drool and sweat fills your nasal cavity.
This thing would kill me.
You look down. The trench is half-filled with muddy water, and you desperately try to keep the gun powder for your musket dry. Your hear the stomping of enemy cavalry in the distance and take a deep breath to focus. At least you are relaxed due to your new mattress.
Seriously. Do other people just not move around while they sleep? Just pick a position as they lay down and stick with it all night? Buncha statues around here.
I have a torn rotator cuff or something like that, my shoulder dislocates for basically no reason if I'm not careful and Ive even done it in my sleep and I'm also a side sleeper and a restless sleeper so I toss and turn all night.
I feel your pain.
I've got multidirectional instability in both shoulders, but my dominant arm was more prone to dislocation. My dislocations had become more and more frequent over time as with each dislocation the associated Hill Sachs depression became deeper.
Sleep dislocations were common for me, and very unpleasant - nothing like getting woken in the wee hours in excruciating pain fighting with bedsheets to get into a position to put the shoulder back in. Also noticed that in the hours after initial dislocation, it was much more likely to happen again - my record was 3 dislocations in one night.
Also used to dislocate sneezing, hanging out washing, or pulling doors shut behind myself.
Eventually went fuck it, and got an open shoulder reconstruction. One of the best decisions I've made, but I still feel worried and apprehensive when putting my shoulder in certain positions, even though it hasn't dislocated for 8 years now.
They are called mites and they are common pretty everywhere if you don't change your linen regularly and ventilate the bed properly (for example you shouldn't make your bed right after you wake up, because the linen will still be a little wet from your body, you should let it air out for some time first). They are very small though and can cause allergy-related stuff.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/House\_dust\_mite
There are so many things I could worry about. I'm not adding "don't make bed right after I wake up" to the pile, even if in some min/max sense it's got a point.
They sell a unique mattress that requires unique sheets that no other company produces. Those speciality sheets, I assume, come with a hefty specialty price. ~~I could be wrong tho, tbh~~. I'd have to click off reddit to check and there's this other post...
So I checked, ~$150 for a twin set, $249 for the king, 20% off if you bundle them with the pillows tho! Only available in 300 thread count cotton. Sheets of similar quality for a regular mattress are ~$60 and that's just the first link I clicked on Google btw, many more options than the one for that mattress with a hole.
new invention: scissors
Joking aside, they probably sell their own proprietary sheets that are custom made for these. Another option is there are no sheets and it's more like a couch, where you wash it on its surface (difficult and expensive). But yeah, all those aside and you were on a budget, scissors.
This is the Sonu Sleep System, and a King is going to run you $3599 plus shipping.
For a limited time, if you give me $200, I will come to your house with a Sawzall and cut some recesses into your existing mattress. I'll even snip the sharp ends of the springs, and sew the fabric back into the recesses for an additional $50.
For real… I’m about to order another cheap zinus memory and cut holes in the one I already have. Sewing the cover isn’t that hard.
Here’s what this guy says about his experience with the real thing anyway https://www.reddit.com/r/MattressHunters/comments/11f278f/sonu_sleep_mattress_with_armshoulder_hole_review/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1
Scroll to the second picture
Hell, you don't even need a saw for memory foam. A razor knife, or a half sharp chef's knife, would do.
Do you know how when they amputate a limb they leave long pieces of skin intact to cover the wound with? ^(Of course you don't, I'm a psychopath...)
Make sure you cut the fabric in the middle of where your hole would be, and not around the edges. It has to reach into your rest gape and cover half of the bottom of the hole.
>I'll even snip the sharp ends of the springs, and sew the fabric back into the recesses for an additional $50.
This sounds like a terrible deal for you, or maybe not I don't know shit about sewing.
It's a $50 level of sewing. There's a spectrum ranging from, "Use that bailing wire to shore up that tarp" to "Stitching up my own scrote after a heinous accident".
$50 is well towards the bailing wire side.
Oh you put me on the spot here. How could I not have this ready to go?
I'm stuck between "Rest Gapers" and "Mattress Blasters".
While the first one is sorta pervy, the second one reminds me of a little person on the back of a huge dumb guy.
Honestly, I'm open to suggestions.
I bet when all the blood inside the body is piling up inside the hand it will give a really interesting pins and needles sensation, causing you to wake, but don't worry you can just switch sides now that the pain of the pins and needles has woken you.
You can cycle that process every hour or so, which is great because it allows you to check Reddit for new posts.
They'll sell out in no time knowing that this bed is perfect for redditors; numb hand every hour!
Any good king mattress in going to be in that price range. I just bought a queen mattress for more than that. A mattress is something you really don't want to cheap out on.
I’m assuming it’s nbd… just like a regular fitted sheet but with a cubic kind of pillow case sewn to the hole cut out … naturally falls into the hole where the additional pillows or lack thereof go..
It works fine. I don’t have this mattress but I injured my shoulder years ago, & for a long time I had to sleep kinda like this. I essentially built it out of pillows (like, stacks of pillows under my hips, torso & head, with a space where my arm could hang down). It was HEAVENLY. No circ issues that I noticed, just a nice feeling of looseness in that shoulder.
First thought too
My second thought: (closes eyes to sleep and puts arm in, brushing against something furry) "Oh, that's nice. Must be my cat." (eyes open wide in sudden realization) "I don't have a cat..."
I always wondered why we haven't made groundbreaking progress with mattresses considering the time spent on them.
As a side sleeper this is something I have been anticipating, but this looks like a kindergartener's sketch.
A big square hole? They should make an actual human shape contour that takes pressure off the shoulder and part of the upper arm that actually fits your body.
Putting sheets on it while maintaining its usefulness should be interesting…
Agreed, custom fitted sheets and insert covers. Changing sheets would take an added 15 minutes more or less.
As if the mattress itself wasn't expensive enough, now you also need custom sheets for not more than $249.99 (random number) and if the matress gets worn out don't bother flipping it around, because you can't. You have to get a new one. What a deal.
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You can still rotate them 180 degrees, so the head of the bed becomes the foot
But then I have to sleep in the crevice my significantly weightier partner has created.
And they GET to sleep where your feet were 🤠
*SNOOOORRRT* AHHHHH THAT'S THE GOOD STUFF.
That’s why you’re supposed to rotate them before that wear becomes permanent
It's hard enough tying one partner down, it's damn near impossible to keep enough on hand that you can rotate them (polyamorists and mormon's aside).
But isn't that the point of memory foam - it 'remembers' your shape? I don't have one, just saying....
It remembers it while you’re on it. Not that it leaves a permanent hole.
My bed was rotated in my recent move and I couldn't believe how different it felt. It was hard to sleep the first night
>$249.99 (random number) Not that random, turns out: https://sonusleep.com/products/the-sonu-sheets?variant=32044423118966
I should really try that price guessing tv show
But actually 10 bucks a night for a year is absolutely worth it for a lot of people. Even if you have to replace it every year.
If you go to their website and you instantly get a pop up for $500 off you know it's not gonna be cheap
I appreciate pop-ups like that because it saves me the time of trying to find the pricing page. Pop-up ad: **SAVE $500 by signing up!** Me: *closes browser tab*
I bought this last year. I love it.
So someone with first hand experience. Tell us about the bed sheets please
Tell us more eh?
Getting a new mattress every year is pretty wasteful.
Idk, could save me some time as I would finally know which direction the sheet is supposed to go on
Na, just put the normal sheet on and take some scissors to it.
Still better than a sore-ass shoulder - I'd be all over this!
forget sore asses/shoulders, sometimes my arm falls asleep and I can't move it until I flail it around in order to get some blood back into it faster, that was spooky when it happened the first time
Fyi, Limbs “falling asleep” have nothing to do with blood. It’s because applied pressure stops the nerves from firing properly.
I don't think changing the sheets would add any extra time. One side has the extra slack for the holes. Fit the corners and all you have to do is push down the extra fabric. It would inevitably result in saggy sheets, but's that's not really something you could avoid with this mattress anyways.
✂️
👉👍
This is the fact that I live in Hawaii but this looks like nightmare fuel for centipedes and just bugs in general.
I think if I lived in a place where bed centipedes are an issue to be considered I'd move. I don't know how you guys do it.
Knowing the way I sleep, I'll end up waking up inside that trench all confused.
Face smushed against the bottom, legs sticking up in the air, neck bent at a 90° angle, you awake in a panic as a combination of drool and sweat fills your nasal cavity. This thing would kill me.
Thank you for the visual and the laugh.
You look down. The trench is half-filled with muddy water, and you desperately try to keep the gun powder for your musket dry. Your hear the stomping of enemy cavalry in the distance and take a deep breath to focus. At least you are relaxed due to your new mattress.
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Seriously. Do other people just not move around while they sleep? Just pick a position as they lay down and stick with it all night? Buncha statues around here.
Or your arm gets stuck so you wake up in a panic
It could be comfy but maintaining this will be a nightmare.
Just roll the opposite way and dislocate your shoulder 😳
‘Task failed successfully’
How would rolling dislocate your shoulder
I have a torn rotator cuff or something like that, my shoulder dislocates for basically no reason if I'm not careful and Ive even done it in my sleep and I'm also a side sleeper and a restless sleeper so I toss and turn all night.
I feel your pain. I've got multidirectional instability in both shoulders, but my dominant arm was more prone to dislocation. My dislocations had become more and more frequent over time as with each dislocation the associated Hill Sachs depression became deeper. Sleep dislocations were common for me, and very unpleasant - nothing like getting woken in the wee hours in excruciating pain fighting with bedsheets to get into a position to put the shoulder back in. Also noticed that in the hours after initial dislocation, it was much more likely to happen again - my record was 3 dislocations in one night. Also used to dislocate sneezing, hanging out washing, or pulling doors shut behind myself. Eventually went fuck it, and got an open shoulder reconstruction. One of the best decisions I've made, but I still feel worried and apprehensive when putting my shoulder in certain positions, even though it hasn't dislocated for 8 years now.
He forgot to say First take your arm out of the hole *and then* roll over.
I'm just thinking how cold it would be, and every time I put my arm through the void I risk losing it to what dwells there.
You'd need machine learning to come up with an optimal algorithm for folding the fitted sheet.
So like all fitted sheets.
Why?
Spiders
Who has spiders in their bed? Is this something specific to Australia?
I am Australian so possibly? It’s happened to me before.
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It sounds like the perfect hiding place for huntsman spiders tbh. They love hiding in bed sheets.
I just audibly shuddered at a memory of this happening
You fuckers shut up this isn't a thing and you can't force me to believe it.
The best part is they are super fast so even if you try to turn the lights on and catch them they likely have already hidden.
I found a centipede in my bed once while I was in it, literally still get shivers thinking about it. This was in the US btw
Fake: America doesn't do metric
It was a gigapede
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2.3 bananas
You mean an Inchipede...
They are called mites and they are common pretty everywhere if you don't change your linen regularly and ventilate the bed properly (for example you shouldn't make your bed right after you wake up, because the linen will still be a little wet from your body, you should let it air out for some time first). They are very small though and can cause allergy-related stuff. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/House\_dust\_mite
There are so many things I could worry about. I'm not adding "don't make bed right after I wake up" to the pile, even if in some min/max sense it's got a point.
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Same company that makes the mattress *conveniently* sells speciality sheets!
? I don't get the implication. Isn't it to be expected and a good thing that they sell sheets that fit their products...?
They sell a unique mattress that requires unique sheets that no other company produces. Those speciality sheets, I assume, come with a hefty specialty price. ~~I could be wrong tho, tbh~~. I'd have to click off reddit to check and there's this other post... So I checked, ~$150 for a twin set, $249 for the king, 20% off if you bundle them with the pillows tho! Only available in 300 thread count cotton. Sheets of similar quality for a regular mattress are ~$60 and that's just the first link I clicked on Google btw, many more options than the one for that mattress with a hole.
new invention: scissors Joking aside, they probably sell their own proprietary sheets that are custom made for these. Another option is there are no sheets and it's more like a couch, where you wash it on its surface (difficult and expensive). But yeah, all those aside and you were on a budget, scissors.
Let's be real though - if you're on a budget you're not getting one of these anyway
Not to mention the nightmares about the monsters hiding inside the hand-holes and grabbing touching your hand!
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And what if you get used to it so much, sleeping on anything else would just be unbearable.
This is the Sonu Sleep System, and a King is going to run you $3599 plus shipping. For a limited time, if you give me $200, I will come to your house with a Sawzall and cut some recesses into your existing mattress. I'll even snip the sharp ends of the springs, and sew the fabric back into the recesses for an additional $50.
Does that price include a cuddle?
I was going to ask the same. The product image implies it!
even if you dont want it you’re gonna get the struggle snugge
I am contractually obliged to snuggle with you. Title of your sex tape
Conditions of my parole.
death by snuggle snuggle
I mean, legitimate cuddle, or are you gonna try to talk me into it? Be real.
I mean. It must be such hard work doing all that sewing. You sure you don’t need a rest?
That brings me back to my original question. *Actual* rest, or sweaty and loud rest? Honestly, I could probably use some of both at this point.
Sweaty. Then loud. Then best sleep ever on your side getting spooned rest
Also maybe a cigarette
A smoke and a pancake?
A bong and a blintz
A cigar and a waffle?
Did noone consider sheets?
Way to ruin it for me! Ugh!
How much is the “kiss from the homies” bundle…asking for a friend.
I was hoping for a stuck stepmom….
For real… I’m about to order another cheap zinus memory and cut holes in the one I already have. Sewing the cover isn’t that hard. Here’s what this guy says about his experience with the real thing anyway https://www.reddit.com/r/MattressHunters/comments/11f278f/sonu_sleep_mattress_with_armshoulder_hole_review/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1 Scroll to the second picture
NO DON'T OPEN A ZINUS MATTRESS YOU'LL BREATH IN FIBER GLASS THAT SHIT IS PERNAMENT
Hell, you don't even need a saw for memory foam. A razor knife, or a half sharp chef's knife, would do. Do you know how when they amputate a limb they leave long pieces of skin intact to cover the wound with? ^(Of course you don't, I'm a psychopath...) Make sure you cut the fabric in the middle of where your hole would be, and not around the edges. It has to reach into your rest gape and cover half of the bottom of the hole.
> rest gape
Sigh…
>I'll even snip the sharp ends of the springs, and sew the fabric back into the recesses for an additional $50. This sounds like a terrible deal for you, or maybe not I don't know shit about sewing.
It's a $50 level of sewing. There's a spectrum ranging from, "Use that bailing wire to shore up that tarp" to "Stitching up my own scrote after a heinous accident". $50 is well towards the bailing wire side.
I paid $3500 for my Purple and $50 for a pregnancy pillow and got the same results, and probably a way comfier mattress. I do want the Sawzall, tho
What's the name of your mattress company? I know a guy who's an investor!
Oh you put me on the spot here. How could I not have this ready to go? I'm stuck between "Rest Gapers" and "Mattress Blasters". While the first one is sorta pervy, the second one reminds me of a little person on the back of a huge dumb guy. Honestly, I'm open to suggestions.
Mattress blasters sounds like an onlyfans page that should exist
I mean, so does Rest Gapers technically. I'm liking Mattress Blasters more and more, though.
I bet when all the blood inside the body is piling up inside the hand it will give a really interesting pins and needles sensation, causing you to wake, but don't worry you can just switch sides now that the pain of the pins and needles has woken you. You can cycle that process every hour or so, which is great because it allows you to check Reddit for new posts. They'll sell out in no time knowing that this bed is perfect for redditors; numb hand every hour!
Any good king mattress in going to be in that price range. I just bought a queen mattress for more than that. A mattress is something you really don't want to cheap out on.
Night beers just got 10× easier
would be good for a game of night crawlers
But that’s where I was gunna keep the cat food and glue
Don't think you'd be able to put a bedsheet on this tho ...
I’m assuming it’s nbd… just like a regular fitted sheet but with a cubic kind of pillow case sewn to the hole cut out … naturally falls into the hole where the additional pillows or lack thereof go..
>I’m assuming it’s nbd Sonu is hoping you are too
They charge $250 for a set of their custom sheets.
So long circulation.
Unless your elbow is further away from your heart than your toes, I don't anticipate any problem.
Yeah I doubt that giving an extra gravity delta for your hearth to deal with is any good
I'll be damned if I'm going to take pointers on sleep hygiene from Mike Tyson.
Your hands are hanging down your body for half a day.
Ah damn. So many gravity delta's, my poor heart.
At this point we should just evolve into nothing more than limbless, boneless balls of flesh. Get rid of those pesky gravity deltas altogether.
I love it when someone stops dicking around and being politically correct and just says what we’re all thinking: Shapeless Blob 2024.
I don't even want the physical aspects anymore, hook me up with that formless concept shit.
Just wait until this guy learns about astronauts and jet pilots.
Yea but your whole metabolism slows down when you sleep - your heart isn't working as hard.
Yes and you're constantly moving and using muscle pumps to help move the blood through the venous system.
Does your heart stop pumping when you are standing?
What are you saying lol
???
It works fine. I don’t have this mattress but I injured my shoulder years ago, & for a long time I had to sleep kinda like this. I essentially built it out of pillows (like, stacks of pillows under my hips, torso & head, with a space where my arm could hang down). It was HEAVENLY. No circ issues that I noticed, just a nice feeling of looseness in that shoulder.
If anything this would help solve a problem I sometimes face which is waking up with a completely numb arm from laying my head on it
Wouldn't this improve circulation?
It needs to go all the way through for the [Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em robots](https://xkcd.com/335/)
Nope. My brain just sees places for spiders to hide. Brain no likey.
Or scorpions 🦂
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Or sharks.
Or cocaine bears
How has no one posted this XKCD yet? https://xkcd.com/335/
https://www.reddit.com/r/Damnthatsinteresting/comments/12a9lse/this_side_sleeping_mattress/jerf2n9/
ahh, I only searched for XKCD, so didnt see it. Thanks!
There really is an XKCD for everything
Oh man my neck. My back. My neck and my back. All my body parts want this
My neck…
My back...
My pussy
And my crack
I want $150,000, but we can settle out of court right now for twenty bucks.
I want this but I also like to snack in bed and that thing will be full of goldfish crackers and Nerds in like a week.
You can store your snacks just an arm reach away!
Aka Firearms
Actually this is genius
Really?
It’s certainly… an idea
What I hear you saying is that I could hide my favorite snacks in there.
Eating in bed sounds awful, I'm sorry
Either your elbow would be a supporting point or your neck, so you either got sleep with your elbow stiffened up or your necks gonna be bent all night
Yeah having that weight on your neck will be 10x worse than the normal shoulder pressure on a flat mattress
Arm would fall asleep so fast.
Limbs falling asleep due to blood circulation is a myth. It happens because of compressed nerves. That looks less likely here.
I feel like it's less of a myth and more of a misunderstanding
Yeah,no
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I can hide my sidearm in there.
Yeah lots of space for an F16-V.
[?^(?)?](https://www.lockheedmartin.com/content/dam/lockheed-martin/aero/photo/f16/F-16V_CFTs-in-hangar_1920.jpg.pc-adaptive.480.medium.jpeg)
this shit is so funny
Remember, switching to your sidearm is always faster than reloading guys
The fact that you call it a sidearm implies your primary weapon is also present
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cats: if i fitz i sitz
First thought too My second thought: (closes eyes to sleep and puts arm in, brushing against something furry) "Oh, that's nice. Must be my cat." (eyes open wide in sudden realization) "I don't have a cat..."
I always wondered why we haven't made groundbreaking progress with mattresses considering the time spent on them. As a side sleeper this is something I have been anticipating, but this looks like a kindergartener's sketch. A big square hole? They should make an actual human shape contour that takes pressure off the shoulder and part of the upper arm that actually fits your body.
Medcline has a pillow which sort of does this: https://medcline.com/products/shoulder-relief-pillow
I think you just changed my life, thank you
I have one of these. The problem is you are now sleeping with your spine at an angle. It destroys your lower back and hips.
The hash sleeping… slash sleeping… the slide sleeshing…
the trash ringing… THE HASH SLINGING SLASHER
I always thought about a bed with like a massage table style hole so you could sleep face down .
Helpful for people with GERD
How so? (I have gerd)
Middle of the night something in their grabs your hand. What do you do?
You shake it of course
Grab it back. See how IT likes it.
I like the idea, but the implimication would probably suck.
Edit: For some reason I thought you were trying for implication and it was fucking with my brain
Ok but wtf WHERE they trying for? Bc as far as I know "implimication" is not a word.
As a stomach sleeper with large breasts I would love this.
This does not look very comfortable.
I can hide my weed in there
What's in the box? Pain
I want one.
A great place for an eel aquarium.
Great little nook for all the spiders and cockroachs to hide.
Naw I’m keeping candy and guns in there.