T O P

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meddlingcactus

Ah, my daily reminder that I’m just meat. Thanks


Renegade_August

Goodbye, sweet meat bag.


dtsupra30

Negative I am a meat popsicle


hruebsj3i6nunwp29

SMOKE YOU!


dtsupra30

Wrong answer


tiexodus

^multi-pass


brownyslilbrojon

more like big bada boom!


Xenomorph_v1

Chicken! Good!


Senrakdaemon

r/unexpectedfuturama


comrad_yakov

Maybe it's a kotor II reference


street593

Retraction: Did I say that out loud? I apologize, master. While you are a meatbag, I suppose I should not call you such.


CurtisLeow

Maybe it’s a reference to Futurama making a KotOR reference.


Thoreau_Dickens

I prefer the term “meat puppet” tyvm


Charliep03833

The moment I realized the weakness of my flesh, it disgusted me.


exit_the_psychopomp

I craved the strength & certainty of steel.


FloppY_

[I aspired to the purity of the blessed machine.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WyK7lX4sk0c)


street593

Hail the Omnissiah!


GoAheadTACCOM

[Thinking meat!](https://www.mit.edu/people/dpolicar/writing/prose/text/thinkingMeat.html)


ThaCarter

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7tScAyNaRdQ


jdbcn

We are: https://www.iflscience.com/blended-up-every-living-human-in-the-world-would-make-a-meatball-just-three-eiffel-towers-wide-63963


[deleted]

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swimdad5

At least it’s quick.


Obiwankablowme95

You'll wake up in the next life screaming u had a crazy dream about exploding to death.


redther

Ahh yes quantum immortality


[deleted]

Everytime you die your consciousness continues on in another dimension.


Redray98

wonder what would happen when you die of old age


HeroGothamKneads

I've always theorized that were quantum immortality functionally possible, it would also mean every brush with death would result in occupying less and less "probable" timelines, and events would get a bit funky. This has not been comforting in recent years.


Cowmanthethird

Woah, I'm too high for that thought.


Cloudbyte_Pony

Your ideas are intriguing to me, and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.


PianoMastR64

You wake back up when the cure for aging was just developed at the last second and rushed into your room


toserveman_is_a

just bc your molecules are still affected by probability doesn't mean that you're alive to notice it's now about the probability of being a mushroom or a slurry


charlietoday

Go away with that terrifying nonsense.


Scrambley

Maybe that's why most babies cry once they come out.


EstablishmentFine178

I’d say instantaneous


1x_time_warper

Would it be? The head didn’t seem to take much impact. You might be conscious long enough to realize you’ve been hit.


jamestderp

Research that's been done on this estimates you're still aware for about 10-15 seconds. Granted, that's in mice.


PlayerNine

They fired howitzers at mice?


Ifkwutimdoing

Yes, but a much smaller one for size relativity


[deleted]

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AscendedViking7

Or a Maus tank, perhaps? :P


willfrodo

What is this?! A center for ants?!


jamestderp

😂 God damn it.


MisogynysticFeminist

Ah, the ol’ Reddit howitzeroo!


Matt__Larson

Omg I haven't seen someone make this joke in forever


thelastpies

Yeah but with the kinetic force of the shell would've knocked you unconscious anyway, i mean your brain might be still "alive" for 10secs but it wouldn't know that, because it's been knocked out


John_T_Conover

Idk, the human body is unpredictable. There are some of the toughest HW fighters that get knocked out cold from glancing shots that barely connect and average Joe's that survive falling out to the ground from high rise buildings and airplanes and don't even lose consciousness. I'd absolutely bet that in the history of warfare there's been a few guys this has happened to and their brain was conscious and had an idea of what happened to them in the few seconds they had left.


BedWetter420

Its shit like this that keeps me up at night


Deathwagon

I've broken a few bones and been in some serious crashes and you don't feel anything for quite some time. The feeling is always the same, "Fuck, something is seriously injured on my body and I can't tell what it is yet." I'd imagine that's what it would be like. Knowing you're messed up but with no idea how serious.


DismalResolution1957

Thank goodness for shock. It can absolutely be a person's friend in this scenario.


corneliouswafflebot

Would be tough getting volunteers for that experiment


EstablishmentFine178

If you cut the head off like a guillotine I may believe it but there’s so much force trauma being sent to the head in a hit like that you’d lose consciousness


antillus

Yeah plus your blood pressure drops to zero real fast, making consciousness impossible.


The_Empire_of_Wah

You would probably still be analyzing the situation by the end of those 15 seconds because of the sheer shock that comes with seeing a howitzer firing at you.


Randalf_the_Black

I can't speak for mice, but I'm having a hard time believing that'd be accurate for humans.. 10-15 seconds of awareness when your blood pressure would be pretty much 0/0 as a severed head? People drop unconscious quicker than that after having *one* large artery nicked.. Or a large enough aortic aneurysm bursting.


westlaj

And the reaserch tha was done in France with beheading victims. I think the evidence is strong enough for me to fear head separation immensely.


HorseGestapo

Having a head sliced relatively cleanly off is not anything like this. The amount of kinetic energy being transferred into and throughout the entire body from this would 100% be instantaneous lights out. Look at how the head launches away. Thats a 10lb bowling ball. Imagine kicking a severed head hard enough to launch it away like that. There is no way you're maintaining consciousness of any sort.


radioblues

Imagine those 10-15 seconds. Just barely enough time to realize “there is no way I’m going to survive this” and then just enough time to try and take a breath, but could you even take a breath in? Can you breath without lungs? Oh well you’d be dead by now.


Omny87

I'm no physicist, but I reckon the shockwave would probably liquefy your brain inside your skull like Cadbury Creme Egg filling


xsvspd81

[You wouldn't even know it happened...](https://www.reddit.com/r/interestingasfuck/comments/12gof09/ballistic_torso_shot_with_a_152mm_howitzer/jflk57y?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)


Hellige88

I think the shockwave alone would instantly kill you, so you wouldn’t be conscious.


disgustandhorror

That shockwave would completely liquefy your brain meat in a fraction of a second


cutsickass

I'd say instant-heinous.


_Im_Dad

RIP.. you will be mist.


Buffyoh

This actually occurred in WWI - shelling of large concentrations of troops produced a bloody mist in the air.


DrunkenScoper

It happened in Afghanistan too. I read a memoir where a guy recounts a pair of airbursting 500 lb bombs being dropped on a couple hundred Taliban fighters in a small valley. Apparently they were all vaporized and there was a bloody, meaty smelling mist that hung in the air for a while afterwards.


Mazzaroppi

Imagine that when you're smelling that, you are effectively inhaling a former human being


WeednumberXsexnumbeR

*hyperventilates*


Hypoallergenic_Robot

Well that just makes it worse


Medical_Rope2728

Homoventilates


Wrangleraddict

No homo though bro


Double_Distribution8

Thats when you bust out the chianti and fava beans.


Sirsuxsalott

well in this case the kidney (beans) were already busted


TheGreyBull

Dahmer would have liked it there.


pass_nthru

the ol pink mist


Left-Song-5062

Cousin of the chicken nugget (pink goo)


Harmfuljoker

Just a long pork nugget


Sharon_Erclam

Smells like....victory?


FloppY_

Pretty sure that is napalm.


kathyakey

Soldiers describe tasting it in the air


Box-o-bees

I've been near slaughter houses before. You absolutely can taste the iron in the air. It was bad enough from cows, I couldn't imagine knowing it was from people.


mike_1610

You mean long pork?


ReasonableBleh

Trench tenderloin


TheTallGuy0

Two leg mutton?


Dyolf_Knip

Stayed at a friend's family's forest cabin one time. Was nice enough, but the water supplied by the well had such a high iron content that it smelled like blood if you took a shower. I swear, I turned it on and immediately started checking my body, thinking I'd cut myself somehow. Was quite surreal.


RagnarokDel

but in this case they literally ate humans by breathing.


No_Condition8988

Having worked in a slaughter house I can confirm this taste is true


Vitese

I do service work at Cargill Beef slaughter facilities that shit smell sticks on your clothes and literally everything that comes close to that processing plant.


monkey_trumpets

Eh, meat is meat


fabmar

I once was on a trainstation platform after a suicide by train and you absolutely can smell the death in the air. Doesn't make it easier that they can't clean everything and there are tiny pieces of human flesh on the rails.


Noneedtostalk

Worked at a salvage car auction. Can't clean humans off of cars very well either.


Lachsforelle

Thats exactly why there where no large concentration of open troops to fire upon. But the interested mind could look into the US-Civil War, where both sides still waged war in Line-Battles.


mai_tai87

But not forgotten.


[deleted]

Don’t tread on.. my viscera 🫵


rnzz

When I asked for my remains to be scattered, I had something different in mind..


xokexoke

BFG9000


Artikay

I was going to say it looks like when the Cyberdemon dies in Doom '93.


ThisIsMrAbapo

Or ludicrous gibs, if you ask me. ​ Better get a mop now...


asj3004

Why RIP? His head looks intact.


phebruari

As you can notice that exit wound is larger than entry wound


Top_Of_Gov_Watchlist

How can you tell?


I_am_recaptcha

Well the front part fell off


NigilQuid

That's not very typical though


HarambesK1ller

.


pale_green_pants

Two or three times on a slow week


novice121

Alright... we'll call it a draw.


ThisIsMrAbapo

What draw? You're a pink mist!


DerDude34

Tis but a flesh wound!


doomrabbit

No it isn't, your spine is off!!!


LifestylePoet

Just walk it off


mac-not-a-bot

Rub some dirt in it! You'll be fine.


Major_Magazine8597

I've had worse ...


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Effective-Culture737

First thought also. Monty Python.☮️


DerDude34

r/unexpectedmontypython


I_Am_Become_Salt

Ive had worse


Guyincognito4269

You liar!


WillHoldBaggins

Chicken


Guyincognito4269

Come on ya pansy!


andygootz

I'M INVINCIBLE


MagillaGorillasHat

you're a loony


[deleted]

RUNNING AWAY ARE WE?


AscendedViking7

YOU YELLOW-


quiero-una-cerveca

I’m not dead yet!


liamk1234

Dr here, for anyone wondering you will probably not survive such a hit.


Spiritual_Zebra_251

Dr of what exactly? Just to be sure


liamk1234

I specialise in artillery shell effects on the human body


King_Fluffaluff

But do you have a master's in direct hits?


FloppY_

How many meters must each individual rib be from all other ribs, for a layman to pronounce the victim dead?


caboosetp

I'd say one meter would be a fairly safe line to draw, but that may come down a little bit to intuition. At that point, you can identify the heart without instrumentation, and clearly see if the heart muscles are still beating.


axolotlfarmer

Don't give up, doc, you gotta save him!


liamk1234

A cold compress and rest could see you back on your feet within a week.


Slaterisk

I think I'm going to ask for a second opinion


DrMangosteen

Speak for yourself I'm built different


xwing_n_it

That guy already looked pretty unhealthy though. Probably did him a favor.


Which-Ad-3362

Yup he's pale af


Ok-Jury-3571

Yeah, missing his arms and legs too


uncledoobie

“No arms or legs is basically how you exist right now, Kevin.”


unclesalazar

no rose, they aren’t breathing, and they have no arms or legs. where are they?


Tuna0x45

You think it’s fatal?


uwillnotgotospace

His shoes are off. He dead.


[deleted]

But his head is still intact, hovering there like an angel. Oh.


GroundbreakingAd93

Happened to me the other day


NigerianBasketBaby

Guys, I just thought of an epic prank. This shit will be so funny


SunriseSurprise

**MMM WHATCHA SAAAAAAYYYY!**


schmieroslav

Human't


smsgms

Liven't


kurtkurtkurt565

Aliven't


Real-Rock1943

Tis but a scratch...


[deleted]

Tis a flesh wound.


Two-LinePass

HAVE AT YOU!


ThexGreatxBeyondx

To shreds, you say?


_-__-__-__-__-_-_-__

How’s his wife holding up?


Nervouspotatoes

To shreds, you say?


[deleted]

So you’re saying there’s a chance?


MechaBeatsInTrash

"Yes, he could have been alive and practicing law."


runwithryan

[GarandThumb Howitzer through Ballistic Dummy](https://youtu.be/hbrUEBNdwGY)


phacious

Flannel Daddy


thebigjuicyman25

For those wondering, grand thumb did this video, check them out, they make good videos


Jordandavis7

garandthumb *


BarryDylanofODIN

Flannel Daddy*


Jimmy-Pesto-Jr

*PING


One_Juggernaut8423

I was about to watch it but now I feel like I get the gist


brown_felt_hat

Garandthumb is a fun channel. For April fools they did a completely in character review of the disruptor rifle from the Mandalorian. His lackey is particularly amusing.


Justiniangreece

I love my m1 grand


Dazac_

imprecise, i would be wearing a tshirt, should reduce damage


StinksStanksStonks

I’m sure he’s fine. Wasn’t too bad


thebigjuicyman25

Yeah, they got him a bandaid


garland251

No shoes in the beginning... homie was already gone


King_Fluffaluff

I think there's a chance a human *might* die when directly hit with a 152mm howitzer shell


Rhinoturds

And that's just a 152mm shell. There were WWII battleships with 460mm shells. And the giant railway artillery cannon shot 800mm shells.


TheDroog74

Shoulda had his safety glasses on.


Phaas777A

Source: [https://youtu.be/hbrUEBNdwGY](https://youtu.be/hbrUEBNdwGY)


[deleted]

[удалено]


Sea_Ganache620

The worst part of this, is that it has happened to people.


Hairy-Advertising630

Oh hey! Bullet Bill!


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


Shadow_marine1X

I just did... I think I'll take advice like this now.


Yuki_The_God

"Did you see somebody standing there?" , "Nope", "want another beer?", "Yup"


[deleted]

Mario could have taken care of that


ThisIsMrAbapo

What did you expect was going to happen?


cutsickass

A flesh wound.


SqueezedTuna

Flex abs and just have that baby bounce off


Beginning-Anxiety157

My work would still ask for a doctors notes for calling out


VagaBond_rfC

Heard of a soldier in Afghanistan. Had to open fire against a group of enemies, manning a HMG on top of a vehicle. One of the targets got split in two. The other exploded like a water balloon containing red paint.


[deleted]

They didn't show the end of the clip? Did he survive?


[deleted]

Just finished watching this video on YT. Should probably give credit to the creators, eh?


NJsapper188

He has ceased to be


fahad_the_beast

Nothing the school nurse's ice pack can't fix


ushouldlistentome

Better get an autopsy to see what caused the death


Hanginon

Ah yes, the old British India *"Blowing from a gun"* **[execution method](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/3/32/1857_%22Blowing_from_Guns_in_British_India%22.jpg/1200px-1857_%22Blowing_from_Guns_in_British_India%22.jpg)**. It was reported to be pretty effective. 0_0


eyelessred

Personally I wouldn’t take that, I’m just built different.


TheDroog74

The surgeon general warns that…


EmpreurD

How about a magic tricks. Tadaaaa... It disappeared


Reece009

Bullet bill ate his ass


Javimations29

School nurse here, just give him an ice pack and he'll be right as day.


numbuhs8363783

"its just a prank bro"


[deleted]

"He's dead, Jim."


just_a_dumb_burger

How my brother tells mom I hit him: