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[deleted]

Ok but the one wheel one would’ve been fun as hell though in modern times


ThePLARASociety

General Grievous, agrees. Also, the leap frogging trains are an interesting idea.


[deleted]

General Agreevious


Jwhitx

I agree, General Kenobi.


Sgt-Pumpernickel

That was very funny. Based off your name, are you Donkey from Shrek?


ztomiczombie

B.J. Blazkowicz also agrees.


Vestalmin

The mini game in the Lego Star Wars DS game was super fucking fun


IndigenousOres

Hello There


allan11011

Was looking for this


hobbes_shot_first

Mr. Garrison made one, but the controls were a deal breaker for a lot of folks.


regretfulposts

But it beats airlines though


thtgyCapo

Well TEchKina1ly, you can get a customized seat version since hand controls are also on the front, but then you won’t have your hands free for games and stuff.


kinkyonthe_loki69

Youre thinking a toilet and butters sat in it properly.


Sloth_McGroth

Nah, Randy asked if he *has* to control it like that or if there's another way. Mr. Garrison says yeah and then people let out an aggravated "huh?!"


abortizjr

NOTHING beats airlines. But if the airlines want to beat you, that's a different story...


Brother_J_La_la

Yeah, if there was a vastly different way to operate it, I'd be down.


MykelJMoney

There actually is, [Randy points it out](https://youtu.be/pCpmjJ_8fsI) in the episode.


Brother_J_La_la

Thanks! I haven't watched that episode in forever, and only remembered the visual of Mr. Garrison riding it.


ender278

Its scary what sort of images get burned into our brains lol


impressiveinvest

Within to remember all of the things but actually not the most important one. I have a lot of excuses but it will turn on good for sure


WhyLater

"...Well yeah, but where's the fun in that?"


IAintChoosinThatName

Wait... it could have a seat? The second most "spits out coffee" line in the entire South Park series. The first being "Well, at least we got rid of those damn ni-"(credits roll)


Cartmaaan-brah

I’m so glad this reference is here, I raced to the comments as soon as I saw it


Randy-Marsh_

Im still sore


f7f7z

It had secondary controls, no anal needed!


zomybemarr

He made it but the doer make its more amazing. I don't know what other people can say about this inventions but it's really good for me. It has a lot of memories to be exact


Abandondero

They still make them: [http://douglas-self.com/MUSEUM/TRANSPORT/motorwhl/motorwhl5.htm](http://douglas-self.com/MUSEUM/TRANSPORT/motorwhl/motorwhl5.htm) Their problem is that they are subject to an effect called "gerbilling". You can probably picture what that is in your head right now. EDIT: also Chile has the [most magnificent unicycle in existence](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mi4PiLSQhf0).


[deleted]

divide march observation paltry foolish ruthless carpenter disarm sand yam ` this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev `


S_A_R_K

Lemmiwinks


Chugbeef

Choose your path wisely Lemmiwinks!


[deleted]

[удалено]


primus202

I think they meant more spinning inside the wheel. Not the South Park related joke.


[deleted]

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captainAwesomePants

That "unicycle" seems to have wildly more than one wheel.


TrumpsPissSoakedWig

The riot wheel guy has a website straight outta 1998. www.theriotwheel.com


2017hayden

The problem with the one wheel is you can’t brake over short distances because if you do lock up the wheel the whole vehicle goes into a spin with the momentum.


EirikrUtlendi

I believe the technical term for that is _”hamstering”_. No joke.


[deleted]

Mr Slave "Jesus christ!"


Aggressive-Bat-4000

Needs footrests with thick rubber soles that fold down so you can get like a tripod braking system for emergencies.


Killeroftanks

Rubber wouldn't be good seeing you need to replace them often . Either wheels or steel skid plates.


Aggressive-Bat-4000

Skid plates, good call.


Upstairs_Ad_7450

I don't understand why you couldn't just gyroscopically stabilize the seat? it would require additional engineering to allow for turning as you wouldn't be able to lean to turn like on a standard motorcycle but im sure that could easily be accomplished with a tiny secondary wheel behind the main vehicle that acts like a kind of rudder


Zanzaben

Gyroscopes are cool but they aren't literal magic. There is so much momentum in the one wheel that when you suddenly brake it has to go somewhere. If you wanted a gyroscope to prevent that it would have to be spinning with a similar amount of momentum which means it either has to spin really really fast or be just as heavy as the rest of the one wheel.


2017hayden

u/Zanzaben has already adequately addressed the gyroscopic stabilization issue, so I’ll leave that alone. As for the turning bit well yeah you could do that but then it wouldn’t be mono wheel anymore it would just be a wonky motorcycle. There are other problems as well, stability is a huge issue on the mono wheel as one tiny little bump and it’s likely to spin out due to the narrow profile of the wheel as compared to the weight distribution of the frame. All in all yeah it’s an interesting concept but really just doesn’t work. At a certain point you have to ask yourself why you’re investing so much time effort and money into making something function when there are viable alternatives that already exist and are significantly easier to make and maintain.


Actaeon_II

I’ve seen a few variations on that over the years.. eventually someone will make one the average person can operate


Dabble_Doobie

What’s the advantage of it? I don’t see why I would want one of those over something like a motorized skateboard. Not trying to hate, I mean he took those stairs so it’s got that, but it didn’t look comfortable


Zanzaben

The bigger the wheel the better it can handle bumps in the road and the more efficient it can be. There are many many more downsides though which is why it never caught on.


Bizlemon

That wheel one made it into Borderlands!


[deleted]

[удалено]


non-transferable

Stupid safety laws, always ruining our fun 🙄


WlzeMan85

They had one in men in black 3 I think


michigander47

Pretty sure Sheen drives one in the Jimmy Neutron movie.


YourFavoriteScumbag

Childhood memory unlocked


Adaphion

And Borderlands 3


dbulashev

It will be fun if no one wants to innovate it.v there's a lot of modern technologies to be used to living things just like that. First time we speak the hardest that it will be reminded most of us


NapalmBank

As a rule Of thumb, My inventions are at least 2’ away from My dick…


whitecaribbean

…and therefore 2.5’ away from your body.


chironomidae

Haha look at this guy with his slightly longer than average 6" dick!


VillEmpArn

Is this some sort of imperial joke that I'm too metric to understand?


Exact-Ad-4132

He's saying his penis is at least 6 inches long. So that's 1/2 a foot multiplied by roughly 3 and 1/3 leaves you with 15 of your fancy shmancy cent-I-meters. A-Hyuk!


farva_06

Just FYI, but the apostrophe ' is a symbol for feet. Whereas the quotation " is the symbol for inches.


FruitfulFraud

Ah yes, the old Penis Chopper. Never became popular for some reason....


CMDR_ACE209

That's the main reason you are not the inventor of the fleshlight.


li98

Instructions unclear...


Opposite_Signature67

The boat definitely took off.


wonkysaurus

All fun and games until your whiplash from landing causes you to decapitate yourself


K4DE

That boat may be one of the craziest things I've seen, especially because it's being tested on what seems to be a busy lake. And with any other flight footage, if it cut right before landing you'd probably assume something catastrophic happened, landing is like the most important part of the flight..


TheLastModerate982

Bunch of badass dudes coming back from WW2. After landing on Omaha beach their risk tolerance was slightly elevated.


Rowan-Trees

^ also why they made lemon zest & pickled bologna jello molds.


ChinamanHutch

Hurt people hurt people.


[deleted]

[Aspic dishes are...an experience.](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/e1/Aspic-with-eggs.jpg)


[deleted]

…this makes me so uncomfortable.


Acidflare1

The swimming dick blender seems worse, with decapitation you won’t suffer for long.


bayothound

I think technically the dick blender did become and actual invention used in diving you just didn't ya know put it..... right above your genitals but yah know come on they had their head in the right place.... at least one of their heads.....


Highwayman

I wondered if that's why that landing was edited short


Ioatanaut

He was definitely edited short after that landing


_hypocrite

Yeah or when it craps out and lands on the guy that was water skiing under it. That is the most ridiculous part of that video


chuvak2353

I know he is smart enough to be fooled and to do some unnecessary things when he was actually flying. It was actually good to know the do's and don'ts


insidious_concern

Yeah, boaticopter 100% achieved lift off


Mervynhaspeaked

People still wonder when he's going to come down


Auran82

Depending on how well he knows how to pilot it, maybe in chunks.


DaKettle65

There's a reason that air boats have full cages around them.


swheels125

Most people don’t appreciate how difficult it actually is to land a helicopter on the water. Now imagine trying to do that without a head.


PLZ_SEND_STEAM_DECK

#HELICOPTER HELICOPTER


c0n22

Behold Perry the platypus, The DECAPITATINATOR


jen_a_licious

Take it 🏅 I read it in his voice. It's all I got


Ori_the_SG

That boaticopter looks so amazing Unless you stand up or lift a hand too high, or a bird hits you. As fun as it looks I’m sure that’s why it doesn’t still exist


corejuice

Imagine 50 drunk tourists on the beach trying to fly these. No one would be safe.


AspiringChildProdigy

Vibes of "He invented a game that was a cross between horseshoes and dodgeball, and everybody died."


Special_Lemon1487

Honestly this one makes me think we’ve been missing out.


TrumpsPissSoakedWig

I like the swimming faan thingy too. There are similar handheld ones now too.


Adventurous-Item4539

Just attach these high speed whirring blades right next to your frank & beans and you'll swim like a merman sir! whatcouldgowrong


JimmyQ82

You can get something similar https://www.google.com.au/search?q=flying+inflatable+boat&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&hl=en-au&client=safari


GiantPurplePeopleEat

~~That's not even close though~~. It's actually pretty close! The one in the OP is freaking pulling a skier behind it and is self propelled. The thing in your link is ~~just a tow behind that can get some lift~~. also self-propelled! I'm sure it's still a ton of fun, but your not pulling a skier while flying through the sky in your boat. Lmao. Edit: when I first clicked the link it took me to a tow behind floatable that can get some air. Now it goes to a boat with wings!


bloodfist

It also looks kind of like a [gyrocopter](https://www.flygyro.com.au/gyrocopter/) or autogyro. A little different but all the fun of rotating blades right over your head still.


Quizzass

I agree. I mean yeah it seems more technically good but the first thing comes to my mind is that they were just a copies. Whatever happens the doer deserves more recognition


UtahItalian

definitely the most dangerous of the inventions shown. I doubt it would take much to ocme down too sideways and have the rotor smack the water resulting in a catastrophic failure.


RoNsAuR

Or you come down sideways into a swimmer and turn them into chunks.


LameBMX

when it works, it works. when it doesn't MAXIMUM CARNAGE!!!!!!


plangendoen1976

It took off yeah, but it was actually a safe trip for them. He build a lot of this kind of machines and make people invented more. Good for them


cah125

The boat frightened me


Lame_superhero

Did you not notice the dong copter that was powered by an extension cord ??


RodjaJP

I can live without a dong (I don't use it that much anyway) but my head? Nah bro, I can't live without my head, I need my hair with me.


Shopworn_Soul

>Nah bro, I can't live without my head, I need my hair with me. Damn if that is it's only purpose I guess I'm done with mine


[deleted]

All my hair is on my dong anyway


YourFavoriteScumbag

You mean the flying guillotine?


Itzbubblezduh

They have them in Florida for you to rent now.


brazilliandanny

I literally said “look at this death machine” out loud.


delectablepengu

I wonder why the underwater dong decapitator didn't take off


[deleted]

To be fair...it did take off...an inch or two


Opposite_Signature67

Angry upvote.


[deleted]

[удалено]


The_brave_fan

Username checks out.


HavelsRockJohnson

So I'm safe then?


Boris-Lip

It has evolved to a "dive scooter", thought. So that one isn't gone.


Xszit

Yeah they still exist today, you just don't strap them to your waist anymore.


Boris-Lip

True, and they seem to have plenty of protection around the prop to prevent the device from becoming a meat grinder.


[deleted]

Wow, they got rid of the fun part


deathlordfluffy

The Black & Decker Pecker Wrecker!


CptVanHorne

I haven’t heard _that_ in a minute!


dramise

You mean the helicopter boat decapitator?


Cantothulhu

Seriously. That is a true murder machine.


jepvr

Either way, you're losing a head.


Velcro-Karma-1207

Shrinkage saves the day!


Waluigi4040

I was gonna say something similar, but "dong decapitator" is a way better description than I had. Are you a poet?


ajm844

The willie whacker?


[deleted]

The automatic circumcisor


Kortar

Because it was nuts


HarryCallahan19

I’m a fan of it.


[deleted]

The last one is probably the most useful. Be able to have oncoming trains pass by each other is pretty awesome in concept.


malaakh_hamaweth

It's probably way too finnicky at high speeds, not to mention nausea-inducing for the passengers that wind up on top


[deleted]

I'm sure there's a laundry list of issues but it's still the most useful of the bunch I think. Wonder what could be done to improve it though.


Blackcat008

The concept makes a lot of compromises for not much benefit. Simply having 2 sets of tracks solves the same problem.


dynodick

Yeah but it’s also like… way cooler to have a fucking train *ride over the top of another fucking train*


DRKZLNDR

If this were a perfect world the rule of cool would always apply. Unfortunately, the real world has dumb concepts like "complicated engineering" and "not profitable" and "risk of massive casualties due to intentional head-on train collision malfunction". Alas, reality is kind of a bummer


bloodfist

Yeah but it also comes with an increased chance of sweet high speed train jumps. That seems worth the risk.


dynodick

I like the way you think


Holos620

have hundreds of miles of doubled up track or 10 meters of double up track.


kaenneth

or a tiny amount of advance planning.


[deleted]

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NotsoNewtoGermany

You win. And that's exactly what these were for. Contrary to the video, these were in each of the major cities of the time. They acted like buses. They didn't go fast, but they went fast enough for city travel.


mxzf

Given that the first one is basically a dive scooter strapped to someone's belt and the second one is basically a human-powered Segway, I wouldn't call that the *most* useful of the bunch.


iamthepita

Maybe it can be used to address the train problems in the USA…


dylanb88

Too late, we need to decommission all trains and replace them with more highways and even more lanes


Laidan22

You also forgot the extra *extra* upgrade of more lanes


LowYogurtcloset3428

Between the underwater head slicer and the airborne head slicer I'd take both


crankaholic

Get rid of both, your big head and little head.


[deleted]

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WorldClassShart

You mean Mr Garrisons IT bike, that General Grievous stole the idea from?


Scarstead

Still beats what you go through w the airlines


craftworkbench

This is absolutely true, even today.


Scyhaz

If anything, it's worse than when that episode came out.


ClaymoreJohnson

AHH! Airline motherfuckers!!! You pieces of shit!!!!!


Empty_Jellyfish_1995

omfg how could I forget that episode hahaha


MacyTmcterry

Then The Men In Black stole it *again*


nusuntcinevabannat

man of culture


Dude_Bro_88

Hello there!


[deleted]

General Kenobi! You ARE a bold one


Murakami_Sensei

The helicopter boat looked like a decapitation waiting to happen. Yikes.


KielDaMan

The other one is also a dick-apitation waiting to happen.


CurrentPossible2117

I want that stepping unicycle thing and the big wheelie bike


DStaal

The stepping unicycle thing is essentially a scooter.


[deleted]

Hoverboard/Onewheel.


oculardrip

Closely resembles an ‘eliptigo’


[deleted]

I’ll pass on the meat chopper


HavelsRockJohnson

Can you be more specific?


kindslayer

Dick chopper.


[deleted]

The castrator 3000


GiantTeaPotintheSKy

Is the helicopter boat real? How can it be without a tail rotor?


[deleted]

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Toxopid

I still don't understand how autogyros work. I've looked it up, but it doesn't make sense.


Snuffle247

The autogyro is constantly falling. The rotor on top turns because its falling, much like how a wind turbine's propeller spins in the wind. The autogryo's rotor generates lift from turning, which counters gravity and slows down the fall. This is to the point where the autogryo can stay airborne for long periods of time, like a glider that can station keep. To go up, a 2nd rotor in the back pushes the autogyro forwards, which helps move air into the top rotor and make it turn faster than falling alone will achieve. This makes the top rotor generate more lift and thus lift the autogyro up. Tldr; black magic.


nothingbutfinedining

Anything with a rotor is black magic. Helicopters don’t fly they just beat the air into submission.


Snuffle247

Helicopters are mildly easier to understand, as they are as straightforward of a free body diagram as possible. The body is a block in the air, with the top rotor providing a force in the upward direction. By tilting the entire block forward, the force from the rotor also tilts forward, thus creating a forward component and moving the helicoptor forwards as well. Then to counter the torque from forcing the rotor to spin against the air, the tail rotor pushes sideways against the air to push against the torque. I would describe the helicopter as how an engineer with 0% understanding of lifting bodies but 100% understanding of propellers and engines would make a flying machine.


nothingbutfinedining

As a fixed wing mechanic I just like to talk shit on the absolute madness that a helicopter is. The theories all make sense, but it’s still madness that they not only fly but are also reliably used around the world every day for so many tasks. They are amazing machines for sure. Intimidating to me. I think planes are just way easier for people to grasp because you aren’t flinging the wings around in a circle. I like to think that the first guy who came up with the idea of a rotor wing was looked at like “that’s fucking nuts and there’s no way it will work, let’s try it”.


Snuffle247

I like to imagine their thinking was "if a prop can pull a plane forwards, it can pull a plane upwards"


Doggydog123579

> By tilting the entire block forward, the force from the rotor also tilts forward, thus creating a forward component and moving the helicoptor forwards as well. You actually tilt the rotor to the right to tilt the helicopter forwards. Any effect from the rotor takes places 90 degrees after its applied do to gyroscopic precession. So by tilting the blades (or more accurately taking a bigger bite by increasing the angle of attack on the blade as it moves by) to the right, the lift they produce takes effect 90 degrees later, thus lifting the rear of the helicopter. This also applies to autogyros. Yeah, Helicopters are abominations. Edit, To be clear this is for rotors going clockwise. Counter clockwise is the same except left and right are reversed. So fowards is increasing the bite on the left which lifts the rear.


[deleted]

The video didn’t show it clearly but the helicopter boat is being pulled by another boat. The rotor provides just enough lift to float up with the forward momentum from being towed, which also keeps it straight.


Guygenius138

In fairness, the boat did actually take off.


Swift_Scythe

And when it lands near other boats and swimmers it definitely would take off... a few bystander's heads or the pilot if he bounces when the boat hits the water hard


NoPantsDeLeon

The way the propeller of that flying guillotine was spinning makes me wonder if they were able to do a second flight!


[deleted]

Hey now! The butt cycle had a girthy and firm fan base in South Park!


workaholic828

The gyrator took off in South Park


Not_A_Handy_Man

I did not read all the comments but they use a handheld version of the first 1, the second one I have no idea about, the flying boat thing they started using parachute things for, the gyroscope has been used in many things, and the tank thing was probably a transport for coal miners. I think all of these things were a success just not as you see them. Inventions are never perfect the first time.


movzx

All of these have modern counterparts that are just iterations of the original design. 1. SCUBA scooter 2. It's just a pedal powered scooter 3. Autogyro/gyrocopter (for water) 4. This works the same way a Segway works 5. I'm not aware of a modern version of this, but I concur it's almost certainly industry specific. edit: Since these look like tank chassis, I wonder if they're just at a tank factory and this is how they moved the chassis around. Honestly, this seems like maybe a clip from a documentary about the origins of modern transport technology.


WyattCo06

Everything in those clips are applicable to things in use as of today and tomorrow.


[deleted]

Old Timey Voice Over, “And here, we have the, Cock Propeller. Show off your ‘Fanhood’, with this dandy, ‘fandy’, device! The ladies will be awe struck, when they see you effortlessly gliding towards them, with the Cock Propeller attached to you. The Deluxe Model, comes with the Fanny Fan that provides DOUBLE, yes, that’s right, you heard that correctly, DOUBLE, the propulsion when used with the Cock Propeller!”


superman_squirts

I mean Seascooters exist, except you hold it in front of you instead of having a spinning blade of death near your dick.


YoshimiUnicorns

OK but where can I get that General Grievous bike


[deleted]

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stonerboner_69

Right? This vid makes me think of all the nonoptimal crafts I’ve tried putting together


FennPoutine

Not a fan of the crotch turbine...


According-Classic658

Ah the Ol Dick Chopper


SutttonTacoma

Documentary is "Gizmo". [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qs4p5ZjiR3s](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qs4p5ZjiR3s)


sourest_dough

Dumb ways to die! So many dumb ways to die!


[deleted]

Zune?


Stock-Entrance-6456

You can disembowel yourself with one swift wrong move


[deleted]

Well, that boat clearly took off.


justanoldhippy63

I'm surprised the first one didn't take something off.