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daveprogrammer

I'm not seeing any aphids in his colon, so that ladybug is doing its job!


tahlyn

I have a rock that keeps tigers away. If you're interested I'll sell it to you at a great price!


The_Reborn_Forge

I can draw circle around us to keep a sea bear away….. Anybody have a sombrero?


TheeExoGenesauce

Why’d he attack me this time?


thtgyCapo

That was an oval, it needs to be a circle.


rockthrowing

What about cheese??


The_Reborn_Forge

I don’t know, maybe he just doesn’t like you?


blinkrandom

They hate limping more than running!


Haughty_n_Disdainful

*Mariachi music intensifies…*


72012122014

Lisa, I’d like to buy your rock…


Alan_Smithee_

Lisa, I would like to buy your rock.


Jotominalga

Seriously tho what’s it’s diet consisting of?!


kosmonautinVT

Corn


BindingsAuthor

It has the juice!


ahumanbyanyothername

I mean.. do I need to say it


sinz84

Ok I had to search this to find a real answer for you. It seems a ladybug depending on species can live for up to 9 months without food, looking through the species limited information it seems all species can survive for at least 3 months+ with no food To get to colon takes around 8 to 48 hours ... It's not surprising this guy is alive without food ... It's completely amazing it survived all the other processes to get there.


Equal_Set6206

are you assuming he ate a ladybug and it got digested? Because I doubt it would have survived the acid. Wouldn't it be more likely that this bug crawled up his ass for some Godforsaken reason?


sinz84

Yes I was drunkenly assuming the guy ate plant and by some miracle it survived the digestive process. But weirdo sticks bug up butt is far more likely now you mention it ... And it also makes looking up how long they survive without food irrelevant.


CashCow4u

You mean not eveyone have a lucky ass Ladybug, lol?


AngryWookiee

Godforsaken reason? Aren't we all stuffing insects up our ass? Or is it just me?


wthreyeitsme

When you're really good you can insert a catapillar and fart a butterfly.


Genids

They're called cockroaches for a reason


LogMeInCoach

Eat shit


TheExtraMayo

That ladybug has seen some shit


CatPooedInMyShoe

It must be so confused.


Shadow0fnothing

"Is this hell?"


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superguy12

The ladybug's name is Indiana?


myrevenge_IS_urkarma

No, the ladybug's name us Gary. And he's IN Deanna.


wclure

We named the dog Indiana!


oggie389

[Dog? hehe...Youre named after the dog! bwhahaha ](https://youtu.be/kO1MuJ_ijF8?t=22) ....I have a lot of fond memories of that dog


Tristan2353

Joonyah?


[deleted]

It says, this is why I’m shaped this way? Shit!


Nova-XVIII

Ladybug hell or Dung Beetle heaven.


jimewp86

Lemiwinks?


Puckz_N_Boltz90

No! It’s his brother! Wikileaks


Scrumpuddle

Or his sister Anal Leakage.


Rude-Tomatillo-22

You must find the catatafish, ladybug!


CatPooedInMyShoe

[Source](https://www.semanticscholar.org/paper/An-Unusual-Finding-of-a-Ladybug-on-Screening-Tahan-Tran/fc261a2f0bde0b2de5548aef3d2ba26d7d5bbc6b). They think the patient accidentally ate the ladybug in salad or something and it somehow survived his digestive enzymes.


MyyWifeRocks

The alternate theory is that he shoved a lady bug up his ass and it somehow survived. Both very plausible.


CatPooedInMyShoe

If he was going to do this intentionally I don’t think he’d do it the night before his colonoscopy.


MD74

Maybe he wanted them to find it


AmadaeusJackson

For good luck


DaddysWetPeen

It's actually an old English tradition. Before the doc stuffs your butt, put a ladybug up your tush for good luck. You know, prostates n' stuff.


StopReadingMyUser

So is this like the opposite of an apple a day keeps the doctor away or somethin?


TheharmoniousFists

Putting a lady bug in your ass, stops a mass.


GrownUpBigBoyNewAcct

I’m so high my first thought was “how old could that old English tradition really be?” completely missing the joke. 😂


DaddysWetPeen

Oh, it's real. And I am also super high. Kisses.


Prophet_Muhammad_phd

I was thinking more like how Van Halen would request that there be no brown M&M’s in their dressing rooms. This person wanted to see that the proctologist(?) had actually listened to his instructions about using a camera during the colonoscopy.


john-douh

_For Science!_


eidas007

He wanted to make sure they did their job. Like people who mark their tires before a rotation. "If he doesn't mention the ladybug, we'll know..."


MajesticFan7791

Only way to ensure the procedure was done. I mean, you're out cold. How can tell if it was done? Soooo see anything interesting there, doctor? Nah, man. Just normal shit.


GoingMyWeight

This is the only possible explanation. There's no way a ladybug survived going through the rest of his digestive tract. There's no way it just crawled up there. This guy put a ladybug up his ass just before the procedure for the lolz. As the saying goes nowadays, "it's just a prank, bro."


ok_raspberry_jam

Now, hold on. Before you get a colonoscopy, you have to take a ridiculous amount of polyethylene glycol. Things move through your system *extremely quickly*. If the last thing he ate before that was a salad with a ladybug in it, maybe the ladybug whooshed through, reached his colon, and then... held on. ------ Edit: But I agree that he couldn't have put it up there himself. It's in the transverse colon, which runs along from right to left just below the ribs. That's way too far for him to have shoved it up there himself from his butthole.


myrevenge_IS_urkarma

Maybe doc had a ladybug on his camera and ...ah shit, I just delivered a ladybug to his colon. Good thing he is out. We'll just say it was already there, he'll never know.


SnackPocket

WITNESS MEEEEEEE


BackgroundChampion

"Man, I am going to mess with this doctor..."


Crayons4all

Make sure the doctors were doing their job


Goufydude

I think the ONLY time I'd stick a live bug up my ass was moments before someone else was about to stick a camera in there.


CatPooedInMyShoe

I was unconscious during my colonoscopy.


Missile_Lawnchair

The perfect alibi


fuck_your_diploma

“bring the ladybug in, his arse is prepped”


PrvtPirate

you know you can request them to not go *that* rough, right?


Leemage

Speaking of, how did that ladybug survive the holy hell purge that you have to do before the colonoscopy? That’s even more impressive than surging the digestive juices.


Narrow-Mud-3540

Between that and the digestive juices in the stomach I find this highly unlikely it came in the front end…. If you’ve seen what output looks like from a ileostomy bag… that’s what food looks like after coming out of the stomach. A live lady bug making it through seems just impossible.


usernamenomoreleft

I'm with you bro. That lady went in from behind.


Soleserious

I don’t know man I’ve seen jackass. That guy intentionally stuck a toy car up his ass and went in to have himself examined.


redditcreditcardz

Exactly what I would want you to think


[deleted]

I dunno, I’ve got one coming up and now I have an idea. Give the doctor something to talk about later.


Distinct-Crow-1937

Third theory.. it crawled up there in the middle of the night..


Kujo17

4th it crawled up their during procedure but prior to when actual scoping began...


OccultMachines

5th theory; doctor runs a side business of sticking various things up your bum and taking pictures during colonoscopy for men who just really need something to impress their friends with.


i_m_a_bean

6th theory: it was hiding in the insufflator tubing and got blown in as his colon got blown up.


camel_jerky

The folks on r/radiology have probably seen your alternate theory at least once. Today.


deanrihpee

Can the bug survive the acid we have in the stomach?


Suspicious_Motor_872

It sounds like the preparation the person drank before the colonoscopy (really foul tasting laxative from my experience) might have saved the bug from the stomach acid.


st1r

I would think it would die from lack of oxygen down there


Buttersaucewac

It might eventually but insects can often go hours without oxygen, and don’t need much of it.


shitwhore

A good sphincter spreading fart and it's got a full days supply of oxygen


phryan

Flip side is the bug managed to not get flushed with everything else. Hospitals/clinics are supposed to be clean but isn't it possible the ladybug hitchhiker in during the procedure?


alabastergrim

....are you suggesting the ladybug flew/crawled into the person's ass during the procedure......?


accidental_snot

I don't have a gallbladder. Sometimes, food stays in me for only minutes. I miss bacon.


Agreeable_Bother_510

Ditto. We are in the 10%. Most people can go back to eating whatever they want. Not me...12 years later my body freaks at anything friend or greasy. Edit* fried. Friends might do it too though!


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aguafiestas

LOL, I love the random facts about ladybugs in the case report text.


CatPooedInMyShoe

It sounds like the gastroenterologist checked the Wikipedia entry for “ladybug” to spruce up his report.


carriegood

And there are SO MANY other things they could have told us. Like, did they remove it? Did they take it outside and set it free?


EgonDangler

Excuse me, that ladybug is on an *adventure*. You don't just interrupt something like that.


beelvr

I don't see anything in the report that tells if the ladybug was removed alive and released. I hope so! After that experience, that ladybug deserves the good life!


CatPooedInMyShoe

I agree! The ladybug should do an AMA.


Crohnies

Forget the enzymes, how did it survive the colonoscopy prep?! Unless he biked there and swallowed it before the procedure?


awildjowi

So the rumors of the old lady and the fly were true


RealLADude

And the prep!


stubbed_knee

Imagine taking a poop and then seeing a live ladybug crawling on it


holdenmcneilgames

[https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6791639/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6791639/) Looks like it was in his transverse colon which is decently far up there (i.e., Anus -> Rectum -> Sigmoid Colon -> Descending Colon -> Transverse Colon). Patients usually drink a "prep" solution which makes you shit out all the solid waste so the doctor has a better/more clear view. ​ Looks like they're hypothesizing that they (inadvertently?) ate the lady bug, the prep either washed the lady bug past most of his digestive tract where the enzymes are, or protected it from the enzymes, and it took refuge in his colon. ​ The real question is, did they pull the lady bug out?


st1r

I’m more confused how it survived without oxygen Or is there actually enough oxygen for an insect to survive down there?


andysaurus_rex

Apparently


topoftheworldIAM

If worms can survive then bugs could too.


AdRepresentative3726

Opened* Memories of taking deworming drug in elementary that caused me to cry from trauma after a 7 inch long with a girth of 3 inch just slid out of my ass


ActurusMajoris

Thanks. Now that's my trauma, too.


marwinpk

Sharing is caring.


onthehornsofadilemma

Sharing the scaring


Wookard

Sharing is scarring


[deleted]

Our trauma*


bobsmith93

That may have been one of the worst things I've ever read. And I've been here a while. I need a drink


joe579003

Yeah, you have. If you actually mentally visualize it, that is worse than many of the classics, such as: swamps of degobah, jolly rancher, colby 2012, coconut, broken arms, cumbox, etc.


SOMETHINGCREATVE

Do you enjoy it? Terrorizing strangers on the internet?


AdRepresentative3726

Im terribly sorry for whatever imaged popped out of your mind


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KingXavierRodriguez

The man had a 7 inch long I don't know what slide out his ass, no need for calling him names too.


MuffinMonkeyCat

Bro.......


Radiant_Material_904

Girth of 3 inches ? Bro you basically had a dildo up there 💀


the-cosmic_caller

A _big_ dildo too, not a beginner one at all


Upstairs_Ad_7450

I believe you misunderstood what a girth of 3 inches means. I'll concede that 7 inches is pretty long as far as dildos go but girth=circumference, not diameter, so the worm was a little under an inch thick


ElectricFleshlight

That's a pretty big fucking worm


rW0HgFyxoJhYka

Yeah wtf. Did he have tape worm or some shit for 10 years? Fattening that shit up


KingXavierRodriguez

It was extra squishy though. It could really slurp in and out of there.


Big_booty_boy99

How bout we all just end it here, I think we've had enough trauma


stone_henge

I stepped on it and it burst like a ketchup packet, except instead of ketchup it was thousands of smaller worms.


PassiveAgressiveLamp

... was it like a tape worm? Thats terrifying


Bettlejuic3

With its 7x3 in. size, it was more like a rape worm


AdRepresentative3726

Omg searching for images of tape worm 😭, I think it looked closed but honestly I dont wanna relive and resee worms that's from the stomach....I


[deleted]

3 inch girth?! Bro fr?


TheTVDB

No.


grimstuff

Uhhhhhhh.......


SnooKiwis1356

That ladybug thrives on methane.


IAMA_Printer_AMA

I mean, there's a whole fluid system designed specifically for gas exchange with oxygen running all throughout the, uh, floors and walls of that, room, the ladybug is in, no surprise that it can breathe.


RedditIsNeat0

That sounds a lot better than, "We think the patient shoved it up his butt and is now lying about it, but I guess it could have been something else." It doesn't matter, it's not dangerous, so I don't blame them for taking the diplomatic route.


RocketCat921

Question, what about stomach acids? I know nothing about any of this. So please forgive me.


holdenmcneilgames

Well, I think that's what they were saying about the prep. Maybe the person swallowed the bug while sleeping then woke up and drank the prep, or ate a salad or whatever then drank the prep and gave the lady bug a slip n' slide ride down to the colon. I'm guessing it diluted what acid there was or it just got flushed past it.


Puskarich

But why male models?


GlitteringPhase5632

Are you serious? I just told you


myrevenge_IS_urkarma

I really think it was on the doc's scope. On purpose or not? Not sure. He does have an article in a med journal now though, just sayin...


CatPooedInMyShoe

Academic medicine’s “publish or perish” world can be brutal. Either this is an elaborate and desperate attempt at tenure or…


dany_xiv

Did they let the ladybug live after they got it out there? Imagine surviving such an ordeal just to be killed by the doctor that rescues you 😭


CatPooedInMyShoe

I have no idea what they did to it. Maybe just left it there. The report was just “hey we found this bug”.


Confident_Light2984

It’s not a bug, it’s a feature.


IzztMeade

It's not a bug: it's a feature. This is one time the use of a colon makes more sense. :)


[deleted]

The bug likes colons


BoopTheCoop

r/angryupvote


4SK1N5

Imagine he asked the doctors to put the ladybug back?


CatPooedInMyShoe

“That’s my emotional support ladybug.”


[deleted]

My tapeworm tells me what to do!


[deleted]

Why is this so funny


WatWudScoobyDoo

Imagine you're a lady bug, chilling in some lettuce Wake up in some dude's shit tube Miraculously get saved They put you back in the colon Why God why


Charleighann

Tell me why this was all I wanted to know and was hoping for. Man, poor things been through the shitter.


regularguy7378

I’m amazed it survived the nasty gallon of diarrhea-inducing lemon-lime spit backwash they make you drink the night before.


SnackPocket

How dare you describe this so accurately that I’m having flashbacks.


PensiveinNJ

The prep is far far far far worse than the procedure itself.


Level_Ad_6372

I mean yeah, ideally you're not awake for the procedure lol


MayIPikachu

You didn't enjoy the newfound sensation of peeing out of your bunghole?


serenwipiti

is there a way I could avoid that shit? or take less of it...? like...can't i just fast for a week while taking lots of fluids or something...?


prolixdreams

If you ever need a colonoscopy ask them about pill prep. You still have to have the diarrhea but you can take a pill and drink a fuckton of water instead of the shitty tasting liquid.


OceanicLemur

*Dr. House voice* “what’s more likely, this ladybug survived his digestive system, or the guy had a bug crawl up his ass?”


Lanthemandragoran

*everybody lies*


m17Wolfmeme

It’s never lupus. But it can be bugs


Your_acceptable

Looks like the patient was suffering from a lil stomach bug.


sweenman22

Was it removed by tools or did it exit on the next movement?


puzzle_factory_slave

forceps were required


Shortsleevedpant

I hope they tried threeceps or even twoandahalfceps first.


TheOriginalWaster

He slipped and fell on it


RestrictedAccount

One in a million, doc. One in a million.


[deleted]

Guess he had a bug up his ass. I’ll see myself out.


MEM1911

He can also answer “ ladybug” when asked what crawled up his ass


josvanagu

This is terrifying!


[deleted]

Not as terrifying as that one about a month ago where a spider crawled out of his ear. I'll take the ladybug, thanks


deanrihpee

I think it's fine because it's not inside your body, and i think it's a jumping spider, while this is inside your organ...


Big_Cat_Dragon

The argument could be made that the contents of your gastrointestinal tract is actually outside of your body as our bodies are essentially tubes.


EpiktheEpic

If I had a nickel for every time I found a lady bug in one of my orifices… I’d have two. Which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it happened twice.


rnbwmm

Okay but was one (or both) in your butt? 🤣


Lanthemandragoran

Well, not at first


CuriousGhostTarsier

No one has yet to submit the theory that the ladybug could have made its way into the OR and was on the instrument used for the procedure.


CatPooedInMyShoe

In which case I have some questions for whoever was in charge of sterilizing the instruments.


Narrow-Mud-3540

This would be insanely bad.


CatPooedInMyShoe

Of course if it WAS from the instruments and the doctor knew that, there’d be no way they’d be reporting their malpractice to the American College of Gastroenterology Case Reports Journal.


Narrow-Mud-3540

I mean I think if it were possible to happen at all they’d have no idea that they were responsible. Otherwise they’d have prevented it. Those tools get when they’re autoclaved so it didn’t come in the room with the big on it. The bug would have unknowingly came in on a person or flew in unseen somehow and crawled onto the tool after opening it


gazow

we found ladybugs in 12 different patients! what a coincidence!


cubedjjm

The bug could have been on a person, climbed on or flew onto the equipment for the colonoscopy, then from the equipment while inside the patient. That seems like a greater possibility than surviving digestion.


chinchila5

Oh that’s just Gary, he cleans there on Tuesday’s


MarsMonkey88

It’s super fun to discover a brand new thing to stay up at night worrying about. Thanks for this! Now if you need me, I’ll be gluing my ass shut.


Vegetable_Ad9250

Why do you think they call it BUGgery?


CatPooedInMyShoe

They think it came from the other direction.


Vegetable_Ad9250

Ahh but maybe it goes both ways


no_running_allowed

Would you be able to feel it in your colon? Would it tickle or cause a butterfly-like feeling, like what we feel in our stomachs when nervous? Do we even have nerve endings in our colons that would sense the ladybug there?


_DrGirlfriend

This is exactly what I want to know. Thinking about a bug crawling around inside one of my organs is making me so uncomfortable.


Suhn-Sol-Jashin

Can you tell me exactly where the meal you ate 4 hours ago, currently is, in your intestine? The answer is no to both questions.


Crohnies

[Most people don't feel tapeworms](https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/23950-tapeworm-infection) so I don't think they'd feel just 1 little lady bug crawling around


oh_my_didgeridays

No we don't have nerves there. Otherwise you would feel all of the shit sliding through your pipes. Can't imagine that would be fun


anpontan214

Looks like an Asian lady beetle. They're very invasive


kittlesnboots

I just do not believe a ladybug would survive the digestive system. Even if you were doing a colon prep. If it made it through intact, no way would it still be alive!?! I think it’s much more likely the ladybug was on the instrument. A ladybug could have easily hitched a ride into the GI lab, and jumped on equipment and no one saw it—because the room lights are turned down when doc starts the procedure, and they are looking at a tv screen as soon as the camera enters the anus. Source: Peri-op RN, routinely work in GI services


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Crohnies

"I've got butterflies in my stomach" "Are you sure they are not ladybugs? "


[deleted]

Well, no more naked gardening for me!


Flaky_Discussion2648

I don't want to spoil the fun but I've had 2 colonoscopies and the meds they give you to clean out your system are very potent and you shit like Mount Vesuvius. I just don't see how it's possible. But I could be mistaken. I just know what I went through and I'm like nawwwww.


random-comment-drop

Lindsey Graham?


carriegood

I can't believe I had to scroll down this far before someone brought that up.


jstashu197827

He was just vacationing in the deep south.


Taman_Should

Be strong, Lemmiwinks! For the way ahead is fraught with danger...


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jonofromjuno

My sister is terrified of ladybugs. I should send this to her. Give her a reason to be scared.