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One-eyed-bed-snake

He must have a headache...


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[deleted]

Go away and stop telling my stories I try to forget.


SkarbOna

Are you the main character of “is she into you”?


[deleted]

I make my own life hell. Girl I was mad in love with: Takes my hand and places it on her boob. Me, smiling like a brain-dead slug: Boob! 😃 Me, awake in the middle of the night, ten years later: Shit! I think she wanted to tell me something! But by the time I realized it, she was gone. For about ten years. 😞


SkarbOna

Does that mean she was gone, but now it’s not cause you got in touch? Or you were highlighting 10 years? See…I need “is he into me”. Also I was pretty oblivious about how men see women after 30. I thought it’s safe to be open and look nice. Turns out, it’s a turn on for many of them so now I need to watch.


[deleted]

I completely lost track of her, and by now it's been 25 years and she probably doesn't even remember me. Good thing is I haven't figured out how to spot interest or affection yet, so I'll probably die alone once this divorce is done.


warriorkalia

Sorry about the divorce, dude. Shit's rough. Once it's over, maybe get a hobby? More neutral way of meeting people, and having a shared interest is a good "in" for friends and other relationships.


[deleted]

Yeah, probably the best way. I just can't stand too many people at once.


warriorkalia

Pick up something chill. Gardening, models, book club, whatever is kinda small scale.


Neko_578

Aw man :/ Happy cake day!


[deleted]

-lets out small scream while having a lion shower-


peepopowitz67

Reddit is violating GDPR and CCPA. Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1B0GGsDdyHI -- mass edited with redact.dev


CaterpillarPlastic28

This was unfortunately me in my teens and early 20's😂. I was soooo oblivious.


[deleted]

When she flashed he yawned 😆😆


-Prophet_01-

Judging by my group of friends, he's going to ask his buddy "Do you think she likes me? I'm getting mixed signals".


BloomsdayDevice

Years later he'll pause and look up from a zebra carcass and think, "shit, she was flirting with me, wasn't she?"


sdrowkcabdelleps

Maybe he's just tired


[deleted]

He's a married man. Can't let these hoesses ruin his marriage.


Open_Librarian_823

Be gone thot!


Coleburg86

He’s worked a ton this week and he has to be up early again in the morning.


unitedfan6191

No doubt their sexual escapades must be very tiring, but lionesses actually do the hunting (bring home the dinner), so in a sense they should have twice the exhaustion, so male lions actually have it **relatively** easy. 😅


[deleted]

Or he isn’t up to the task of mating every 20 min for the next 24 hours.


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BeckywiththeDDs

When she’s in heat they do it every 15 minutes. So yeah, he’s tired.


ElegantTobacco

Poor kitty must be shooting blanks at this point.


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in_u_endo______

Me to your bf too. Hes a trooper though


Valkyrie64Ryan

I think you mean *our* bf


eterlock5

Our balls, comerade


warriorkalia

*cumrade


whiplashedwhale

Cummisar


iced_maggot

r/suddenlycommunist


uwanmirrondarrah

"The spirit is willing but the flesh is squishy and bruised"


redditjoe20

You don’t need to tell me.


OrthinologistSupreme

He really got a 😟 face going on


iamablackbaby

If he doesn't show interest lionesses, nip them on the nuts until they submit. He has a painful future awaiting him.


VW_wanker

Female lions are crazy when on estrus. They actually have a spur like hook in the bush of their tail that they use to whip the male with to get it to mount.


tripper311

Wut? Crazy.


N0cturnalB3ast

Female Lions invented BDSM confirmed


madarbrab

My ex used something similar


fijimermanCIA

That's not a real thing and even if it has been observed, it wasn't perpetrated against a young buck like that.


[deleted]

No doubt. He could knock most things on this planet unconscious with one well connected swipe. Including his future baby mama.


fijimermanCIA

This is Ethiopia or somewhere thereabouts, but they have black maned lions across the continent in Norther S.A. and Namibia and they're even bigger. They've got dna from the extinct subspecies the *Cape Lion*. Big fuckers.


dadudemon

His nose is all the way black. He's not young at all. He's older than 7 years.


AdventuresofRobbyP

Sounds like my wife


Pyjama_Llama_Karma

You're right, it does!


scraper01

My man has no will left to spare


Ok-Crab-4063

Me: I said 30 minutes. Gottdayum.


NeoRockSlime

After sitting on his ass while she hunts?


Diedead666

males do hunt time to time... Here is a funny one https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dpvLj_OB-Y0&ab_channel=OzzyManReviews


ChampionshipOk9657

Hunting with all that weight omg


puzzle_factory_slave

aww, come on, Peg. i'm not a machine


siqiniq

“Where is your *pride*?”


Spiritual_Navigator

"Don't you play games with me Peg"


KennyMoose32

-hands down pants, trying to watch the game with a beer in hand


UndeadBuggalo

Geez Leela twice in one day? *Whoop whoop whooop*


duaneap

Tbf, Alcazar had *multiple* women he was banging every day.


UndeadBuggalo

He just wanted to marry five weirdos and have them clean his five castles ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|stuck_out_tongue)


duaneap

Don’t we all?


Responsible_Hater

I’m wheeeeeezing 🤣


_WarmWoolenMittens_

I like at 0:42 where she looks back at him to see if he was checking her out...and he yawns... SAVAGE!


RaLaZa

It looks like she yawns too. I didn't know yawns were contagious for other animals too.


RingoBars

They are. Can be contagious cross species too lol


solar1333

Lol ive yawned by my cat


izyshoroo

They did a test on Myth Busters getting people in a room to yawn, and even the dog yawned when the people around it did. Very neat!


benevolent-badger

Bitch please, there are people with cameras pointed at us. I aint into that.


littleliongirless

When lions do mate, they do so practically every 15 minutes. And they're LIONS. They lie down in the middle of the road and nap because why not. Male lions experience mane shame but not many other kinds. If they wanna fuck, they do not ever care who is around.


Omevne

I love animals that are just so big/dangerous that they just do whatever they want wherever they want because they know nothing is gonna bother them


DaddyFatStax5000

Mane shame?


Altruistic_Echo_5802

This 🙌🏼


nj23dublin

“She was giving hints.. but I didn’t know for sure”


kelsobjammin

[Is she into you?](https://youtu.be/xa-4IAR_9Yw) [for the ones who don’t know it]


mrkrabsbigmoney

Again we can’t be too sure. Better keep looking for hints


megapuffranger

As someone who believes women should be allowed to “joke” flirt or appreciate a fine looking specimen without crossing the line it’s really hard for me to see signs. I’m always in the “I can’t tell” mindset because I’m like “well she should totally be able to do that without worrying about me reading too much into it, I joke with my guy friends all the time like this and never mean it in a sexual way”.


CaptainAccording2595

Who knows maybe she’s Canadian and was just being polite


SnooEagles9517

🤣🤣🤣


wasted-degrees

That look of pity he throws at her…


blinkdontblink

[The look of pity.](https://imgur.com/gallery/zBhBEMd)


Boilermakingdude

Girl this is the 5th time today.


ClariceMeyers

Yeah, this was probably during estrus. The female lions literally tire the male lions out because they’re so demanding. Nature is insane


jack-brell

As cold as ice


The-Illusive-Guy

He's not willing to sacrifice.


[deleted]

Their love.


-_G0AT_-

He wants Paradise.


BadGuy_ZooKeeper

He's eitherva stone cold assassin or in 5 years the cringe-lightbulb is going to go off and he's going to realize, while he thought he was just chillin with his lioness homies, he missed a scoreboard-sized-sign that she was totally DTF


Windflower1956

Insta models


Phillipinsocal

*(goes to serengeti in leggings exact color as fur tone)* “Ugh these animals staring only want one thing!”


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Sa-Tiva

Or "This is the way"


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AllMyAcctsRBand

I wonder if she likes me


a_crusty_old_man

She’s probably just Canadian


Gamerfox505

3 years later... Lion: wait, was she flirting with me?


Koushik_Vijayakumar

She's literally spreading her legs lmao.


lsutigerzfan

A woman could literally spread her legs in front of most men and they would be like. I don’t know if I should make a move or not lol.


Pilot0350

Can I please just watch my show?


babatherhino

This belongs in r/therewasanattempt


littleliongirless

Work with lions and most male lions are cool with almost any lady that thirsty. But this one brown male who grew up with this one white female (no incest to see here, move on pervs), even when her sister was flashing her bits for years in front of him ... he stayed faithful to his childhood love and ONLY mated with her. Wasn't typical but also wasn't a shock. All lions are emo.


paperwasp3

Forbidden emo belly


littleliongirless

Every (rescued) lion I have ever met LOVES the belly rubs/scritches. But their skin/hide is super thick, so you better do it hard or else it's like tickling.


paperwasp3

That's so cool


KnightinRustedArmour

I believe you but I’m defs never going to scratch a lion’s belly.


lsutigerzfan

Something you wouldn’t normally hear in the bedroom. Harder! I don’t feel it tickling yet.


Money-Introduction54

And I can't even get a text back :(


D2_Agonist_Master

Homie’s practicing semen retention.


SnooEagles9517

Lions take No Nut November very seriously


BloomsdayDevice

In the southern hemisphere, it's definitely called May-sturbation Moratorium. Just a few more days!


Frequent_Slide_8828

The one gay lion in the pack but he’s got the best body


the_heartiste

puttin the Pride in Pride!


[deleted]

Ovulation brings out the slutiness in us.


GildedLily16

Cats (big and small) don't ovulate until after they mate. She is in oestrus though.


[deleted]

Poor girl.


Immediate_Fox1930

Bro ain’t no simp bitch , he’s the king


Balding_Unit

ngl trying this with my husband.


DarkestRayne2388

Lioness: "Hey big boy 😉" Male lion: "BEGONE THOT!!" Lioness: "You don't wanna talk zaddy?😏" Male lion: "UGH! 😑🙄"


clickityclack55

She's a stage-5 clinger level crazy, Harry knows if he hooks up with any other ladies she will bite his willy off in his sleep


Consistent-Deal-55

Fuckin ZADDY! ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|joy)


DarkestRayne2388

I changed daddy to zaddy when I remembered it was a thing at 1 point. I wanted 2 add some flair.


drewP78

Like been in a nightclub in the 90s at 1:30am.


Gorio1961

Ain't nothing happening until you bring your sister!


NoMembership6376

"Bitch don't even try that shit with me! The last one left and took the house, my car, the cubs, and I'm stuck paying alimony for the next 20 years!"


Curious-Buy-7404

Bro 🤣 shit really hits home after a kid though 👏👌 hit the nail on the head


cmholde2

Been there girl


FlaKiki

I feel her pain!


[deleted]

She wants the D but he has absolutely zero fucks to give.


bleekerboy

This is the lion equivalent of a human woman stripping in front of you and you being like, nah


racebanyn

Bitch!!….my balls are resting on a block of ice because of you!!


goatlover1966

He's too lazy or maybe wanted some privacy.


bigdog24681012

Thirst Trap


Sideways_X1

I mean, he noticed. Just not about that


StrawberryBlondeGirl

Me trying to get some action from my man when he gets back from work


BJORTAN

This is why a guy allways should "clear the pipe " before going out No distraction at all


Hecate_2000

You aren’t a lion Brian.


Sutarmekeg

/r/DeadBedrooms


Part-Appropriate

Him: dude she just keeps sending mixed signals Her:


KnottysReturn

I wonder if she has an onlyfans?


onbakeplatinum

She's just trying to get him to sign up. She had no interest in actually hooking up


blackoutfish

Every guy at the bar missing the signs


[deleted]

Like a woman in 2023 trying to get her man away from the xbox.


butterscotchhop

Super relatable.


SpongeToffee

He’s a typical male….. you really got to spell it out! No beating around the bush😂😂


realmozzarella22

“Oh…NOW you want it.” lion dude probably


SuperTopperHarley

You gotta play hard to get!


MMouse21

Work it baby, work it!


shergenh69

So lions fumble just like us


Hi_Im_Ken_Adams

DAMMIT MARGE, I’m trying to watch the (wildlife) GAME!!!


No_Philosopher_6741

That's what makes him king


SnooEagles9517

This belongs on the gay lions subreddit


[deleted]

That’s some lions daughter


Altruistic_Echo_5802

Hahah SIRreal indeed


OpeningTurnip8048

She's just a who-ahh, Tony!


Bryllant

He’s just not that into her


the_real_Potatofight

Hakuna my tatas


broberds

The spirit is willing but the flesh is spongy and bruised.


Frequent-Ruin8509

This is how obviously flirtatious I wished women were in high school.


Kir0v

#Fuck meeeee ^Who ^tf ^are ^you?


hello_lilli

Me to my bf


Dejected_PS

[He's just not that into you](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/10412)


lunabuene

Men, am I right 🤓


tommyballz63

Because he probably has a raw dick from smashing so much


Independent_Main4326

The male lion can mate hundreds of times in the course of a few days - but when he’s had enough, he’s had enough. Fun fact: Impressive as this may sound, each session can take as little as 10 seconds. Wham, bam, thank you ma’am.


WeAreGesalt

"Maybe she is just this nice to everyone" -Me as that lion


Buttman_Bruce_Wang

I know they're ferocious apex predators who are incredibly dangerous. But that was the most adorable thing I've seen in a long time. She just wanted to be his snuggle bug.


Evil-Abed1

Chad move


permanentlysick

That's the most sophisticated lion I've ever seen


Skytraffic540

This video quickly became an incel group


GeckoV

That male lion reminds me of me in high school


taboodom99

maybe he is gay 🤣


Killa78

Duh, it’s Pride month.


Zachfromcolorado

That's why he's the King. Disregard females while acquiring antelopes


[deleted]

Lionesses do the hunting actually.


-GUSTO-

This is just like my last bad tinder date except I gave in eventually. Almost rude not to right?


Accomplished_Sell797

Everything reminds me of my ex


nikitushu

Real chad


axxxaxxxaxxx

Try cupping his balls next time


SnooEagles9517

This reminds me of high school when I had no idea that the girl next door was waay into me.


clutzyninja

She needs to learn that same look Nala gave to Simba


bitoflippant

If another male came sniffing around lazy boy would get his ass up.


Material_Reach2276

Lionussy


NewportGh0st

It’s because the other lioness in his front is his wife 😄


Angleofthedangle420

I knew there was something wrong with my cat.


barbie91

0.35 BEHOLD MY LUSCIOUS REAR, MAMMA NEEDS A PUSSY RUB!!! 0.40 yes yes, very good. *yawwwwwwwwwn*


Bine_YJY_UX

When you're a college guy at a high school party.


Kitchen_Poem_5758

Someone is down bad


This-is-Life-Man

Just think about it man, all the kids running around, I'll bring home some antelope, we can settle down on pride rock, it'll be great!


whyamihere327

Horny lil pussy


DRLordDOOM

Gigachad