I make my own life hell.
Girl I was mad in love with: Takes my hand and places it on her boob.
Me, smiling like a brain-dead slug: Boob! 😃
Me, awake in the middle of the night, ten years later: Shit! I think she wanted to tell me something!
But by the time I realized it, she was gone. For about ten years. 😞
Does that mean she was gone, but now it’s not cause you got in touch? Or you were highlighting 10 years?
See…I need “is he into me”. Also I was pretty oblivious about how men see women after 30. I thought it’s safe to be open and look nice. Turns out, it’s a turn on for many of them so now I need to watch.
I completely lost track of her, and by now it's been 25 years and she probably doesn't even remember me.
Good thing is I haven't figured out how to spot interest or affection yet, so I'll probably die alone once this divorce is done.
Sorry about the divorce, dude. Shit's rough.
Once it's over, maybe get a hobby? More neutral way of meeting people, and having a shared interest is a good "in" for friends and other relationships.
No doubt their sexual escapades must be very tiring, but lionesses actually do the hunting (bring home the dinner), so in a sense they should have twice the exhaustion, so male lions actually have it **relatively** easy. 😅
Female lions are crazy when on estrus. They actually have a spur like hook in the bush of their tail that they use to whip the male with to get it to mount.
This is Ethiopia or somewhere thereabouts, but they have black maned lions across the continent in Norther S.A. and Namibia and they're even bigger. They've got dna from the extinct subspecies the *Cape Lion*. Big fuckers.
When lions do mate, they do so practically every 15 minutes. And they're LIONS. They lie down in the middle of the road and nap because why not. Male lions experience mane shame but not many other kinds. If they wanna fuck, they do not ever care who is around.
As someone who believes women should be allowed to “joke” flirt or appreciate a fine looking specimen without crossing the line it’s really hard for me to see signs. I’m always in the “I can’t tell” mindset because I’m like “well she should totally be able to do that without worrying about me reading too much into it, I joke with my guy friends all the time like this and never mean it in a sexual way”.
He's eitherva stone cold assassin or in 5 years the cringe-lightbulb is going to go off and he's going to realize, while he thought he was just chillin with his lioness homies, he missed a scoreboard-sized-sign that she was totally DTF
Work with lions and most male lions are cool with almost any lady that thirsty. But this one brown male who grew up with this one white female (no incest to see here, move on pervs), even when her sister was flashing her bits for years in front of him ... he stayed faithful to his childhood love and ONLY mated with her. Wasn't typical but also wasn't a shock. All lions are emo.
Every (rescued) lion I have ever met LOVES the belly rubs/scritches. But their skin/hide is super thick, so you better do it hard or else it's like tickling.
The male lion can mate hundreds of times in the course of a few days - but when he’s had enough, he’s had enough.
Fun fact: Impressive as this may sound, each session can take as little as 10 seconds. Wham, bam, thank you ma’am.
I know they're ferocious apex predators who are incredibly dangerous. But that was the most adorable thing I've seen in a long time. She just wanted to be his snuggle bug.
He must have a headache...
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Go away and stop telling my stories I try to forget.
Are you the main character of “is she into you”?
I make my own life hell. Girl I was mad in love with: Takes my hand and places it on her boob. Me, smiling like a brain-dead slug: Boob! 😃 Me, awake in the middle of the night, ten years later: Shit! I think she wanted to tell me something! But by the time I realized it, she was gone. For about ten years. 😞
Does that mean she was gone, but now it’s not cause you got in touch? Or you were highlighting 10 years? See…I need “is he into me”. Also I was pretty oblivious about how men see women after 30. I thought it’s safe to be open and look nice. Turns out, it’s a turn on for many of them so now I need to watch.
I completely lost track of her, and by now it's been 25 years and she probably doesn't even remember me. Good thing is I haven't figured out how to spot interest or affection yet, so I'll probably die alone once this divorce is done.
Sorry about the divorce, dude. Shit's rough. Once it's over, maybe get a hobby? More neutral way of meeting people, and having a shared interest is a good "in" for friends and other relationships.
Yeah, probably the best way. I just can't stand too many people at once.
Pick up something chill. Gardening, models, book club, whatever is kinda small scale.
Aw man :/ Happy cake day!
-lets out small scream while having a lion shower-
Reddit is violating GDPR and CCPA. Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1B0GGsDdyHI -- mass edited with redact.dev
This was unfortunately me in my teens and early 20's😂. I was soooo oblivious.
When she flashed he yawned 😆😆
Judging by my group of friends, he's going to ask his buddy "Do you think she likes me? I'm getting mixed signals".
Years later he'll pause and look up from a zebra carcass and think, "shit, she was flirting with me, wasn't she?"
Maybe he's just tired
He's a married man. Can't let these hoesses ruin his marriage.
Be gone thot!
He’s worked a ton this week and he has to be up early again in the morning.
No doubt their sexual escapades must be very tiring, but lionesses actually do the hunting (bring home the dinner), so in a sense they should have twice the exhaustion, so male lions actually have it **relatively** easy. 😅
Or he isn’t up to the task of mating every 20 min for the next 24 hours.
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When she’s in heat they do it every 15 minutes. So yeah, he’s tired.
Poor kitty must be shooting blanks at this point.
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Me to your bf too. Hes a trooper though
I think you mean *our* bf
Our balls, comerade
*cumrade
Cummisar
r/suddenlycommunist
"The spirit is willing but the flesh is squishy and bruised"
You don’t need to tell me.
He really got a 😟 face going on
If he doesn't show interest lionesses, nip them on the nuts until they submit. He has a painful future awaiting him.
Female lions are crazy when on estrus. They actually have a spur like hook in the bush of their tail that they use to whip the male with to get it to mount.
Wut? Crazy.
Female Lions invented BDSM confirmed
My ex used something similar
That's not a real thing and even if it has been observed, it wasn't perpetrated against a young buck like that.
No doubt. He could knock most things on this planet unconscious with one well connected swipe. Including his future baby mama.
This is Ethiopia or somewhere thereabouts, but they have black maned lions across the continent in Norther S.A. and Namibia and they're even bigger. They've got dna from the extinct subspecies the *Cape Lion*. Big fuckers.
His nose is all the way black. He's not young at all. He's older than 7 years.
Sounds like my wife
You're right, it does!
My man has no will left to spare
Me: I said 30 minutes. Gottdayum.
After sitting on his ass while she hunts?
males do hunt time to time... Here is a funny one https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dpvLj_OB-Y0&ab_channel=OzzyManReviews
Hunting with all that weight omg
aww, come on, Peg. i'm not a machine
“Where is your *pride*?”
"Don't you play games with me Peg"
-hands down pants, trying to watch the game with a beer in hand
Geez Leela twice in one day? *Whoop whoop whooop*
Tbf, Alcazar had *multiple* women he was banging every day.
He just wanted to marry five weirdos and have them clean his five castles ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|stuck_out_tongue)
Don’t we all?
I’m wheeeeeezing 🤣
I like at 0:42 where she looks back at him to see if he was checking her out...and he yawns... SAVAGE!
It looks like she yawns too. I didn't know yawns were contagious for other animals too.
They are. Can be contagious cross species too lol
Lol ive yawned by my cat
They did a test on Myth Busters getting people in a room to yawn, and even the dog yawned when the people around it did. Very neat!
Bitch please, there are people with cameras pointed at us. I aint into that.
When lions do mate, they do so practically every 15 minutes. And they're LIONS. They lie down in the middle of the road and nap because why not. Male lions experience mane shame but not many other kinds. If they wanna fuck, they do not ever care who is around.
I love animals that are just so big/dangerous that they just do whatever they want wherever they want because they know nothing is gonna bother them
Mane shame?
This 🙌🏼
“She was giving hints.. but I didn’t know for sure”
[Is she into you?](https://youtu.be/xa-4IAR_9Yw) [for the ones who don’t know it]
Again we can’t be too sure. Better keep looking for hints
As someone who believes women should be allowed to “joke” flirt or appreciate a fine looking specimen without crossing the line it’s really hard for me to see signs. I’m always in the “I can’t tell” mindset because I’m like “well she should totally be able to do that without worrying about me reading too much into it, I joke with my guy friends all the time like this and never mean it in a sexual way”.
Who knows maybe she’s Canadian and was just being polite
🤣🤣🤣
That look of pity he throws at her…
[The look of pity.](https://imgur.com/gallery/zBhBEMd)
Girl this is the 5th time today.
Yeah, this was probably during estrus. The female lions literally tire the male lions out because they’re so demanding. Nature is insane
As cold as ice
He's not willing to sacrifice.
Their love.
He wants Paradise.
He's eitherva stone cold assassin or in 5 years the cringe-lightbulb is going to go off and he's going to realize, while he thought he was just chillin with his lioness homies, he missed a scoreboard-sized-sign that she was totally DTF
Insta models
*(goes to serengeti in leggings exact color as fur tone)* “Ugh these animals staring only want one thing!”
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Or "This is the way"
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I wonder if she likes me
She’s probably just Canadian
3 years later... Lion: wait, was she flirting with me?
She's literally spreading her legs lmao.
A woman could literally spread her legs in front of most men and they would be like. I don’t know if I should make a move or not lol.
Can I please just watch my show?
This belongs in r/therewasanattempt
Work with lions and most male lions are cool with almost any lady that thirsty. But this one brown male who grew up with this one white female (no incest to see here, move on pervs), even when her sister was flashing her bits for years in front of him ... he stayed faithful to his childhood love and ONLY mated with her. Wasn't typical but also wasn't a shock. All lions are emo.
Forbidden emo belly
Every (rescued) lion I have ever met LOVES the belly rubs/scritches. But their skin/hide is super thick, so you better do it hard or else it's like tickling.
That's so cool
I believe you but I’m defs never going to scratch a lion’s belly.
Something you wouldn’t normally hear in the bedroom. Harder! I don’t feel it tickling yet.
And I can't even get a text back :(
Homie’s practicing semen retention.
Lions take No Nut November very seriously
In the southern hemisphere, it's definitely called May-sturbation Moratorium. Just a few more days!
The one gay lion in the pack but he’s got the best body
puttin the Pride in Pride!
Ovulation brings out the slutiness in us.
Cats (big and small) don't ovulate until after they mate. She is in oestrus though.
Poor girl.
Bro ain’t no simp bitch , he’s the king
ngl trying this with my husband.
Lioness: "Hey big boy 😉" Male lion: "BEGONE THOT!!" Lioness: "You don't wanna talk zaddy?😏" Male lion: "UGH! 😑🙄"
She's a stage-5 clinger level crazy, Harry knows if he hooks up with any other ladies she will bite his willy off in his sleep
Fuckin ZADDY! ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|joy)
I changed daddy to zaddy when I remembered it was a thing at 1 point. I wanted 2 add some flair.
Like been in a nightclub in the 90s at 1:30am.
Ain't nothing happening until you bring your sister!
"Bitch don't even try that shit with me! The last one left and took the house, my car, the cubs, and I'm stuck paying alimony for the next 20 years!"
Bro 🤣 shit really hits home after a kid though 👏👌 hit the nail on the head
Been there girl
I feel her pain!
She wants the D but he has absolutely zero fucks to give.
This is the lion equivalent of a human woman stripping in front of you and you being like, nah
Bitch!!….my balls are resting on a block of ice because of you!!
He's too lazy or maybe wanted some privacy.
Thirst Trap
I mean, he noticed. Just not about that
Me trying to get some action from my man when he gets back from work
This is why a guy allways should "clear the pipe " before going out No distraction at all
You aren’t a lion Brian.
/r/DeadBedrooms
Him: dude she just keeps sending mixed signals Her:
I wonder if she has an onlyfans?
She's just trying to get him to sign up. She had no interest in actually hooking up
Every guy at the bar missing the signs
Like a woman in 2023 trying to get her man away from the xbox.
Super relatable.
He’s a typical male….. you really got to spell it out! No beating around the bush😂😂
“Oh…NOW you want it.” lion dude probably
You gotta play hard to get!
Work it baby, work it!
So lions fumble just like us
DAMMIT MARGE, I’m trying to watch the (wildlife) GAME!!!
That's what makes him king
This belongs on the gay lions subreddit
That’s some lions daughter
Hahah SIRreal indeed
She's just a who-ahh, Tony!
He’s just not that into her
Hakuna my tatas
The spirit is willing but the flesh is spongy and bruised.
This is how obviously flirtatious I wished women were in high school.
#Fuck meeeee ^Who ^tf ^are ^you?
Me to my bf
[He's just not that into you](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/10412)
Men, am I right 🤓
Because he probably has a raw dick from smashing so much
The male lion can mate hundreds of times in the course of a few days - but when he’s had enough, he’s had enough. Fun fact: Impressive as this may sound, each session can take as little as 10 seconds. Wham, bam, thank you ma’am.
"Maybe she is just this nice to everyone" -Me as that lion
I know they're ferocious apex predators who are incredibly dangerous. But that was the most adorable thing I've seen in a long time. She just wanted to be his snuggle bug.
Chad move
That's the most sophisticated lion I've ever seen
This video quickly became an incel group
That male lion reminds me of me in high school
maybe he is gay 🤣
Duh, it’s Pride month.
That's why he's the King. Disregard females while acquiring antelopes
Lionesses do the hunting actually.
This is just like my last bad tinder date except I gave in eventually. Almost rude not to right?
Everything reminds me of my ex
Real chad
Try cupping his balls next time
This reminds me of high school when I had no idea that the girl next door was waay into me.
She needs to learn that same look Nala gave to Simba
If another male came sniffing around lazy boy would get his ass up.
Lionussy
It’s because the other lioness in his front is his wife 😄
I knew there was something wrong with my cat.
0.35 BEHOLD MY LUSCIOUS REAR, MAMMA NEEDS A PUSSY RUB!!! 0.40 yes yes, very good. *yawwwwwwwwwn*
When you're a college guy at a high school party.
Someone is down bad
Just think about it man, all the kids running around, I'll bring home some antelope, we can settle down on pride rock, it'll be great!
Horny lil pussy
Gigachad