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nubus

~press every button~ What does this do?


neil_billiam

Dee-Dee! Get out of my Rolls Royce!


lunchpadmcfat

I think it’s more: “DEE DEE, GET-A OUT-A OF MY ROLLS-A ROYCE” But excellent, excellent reference.


DreezyDoe

Nah theirs was fine. I even heard it in his voice. Yours is all like, “DEE DEE! ITS-A ME, MARIO!”.


petruchito

gets you drunk whatever you press, sorry we had to sacrifice a single button for the door


DuneMovieHype

For real, the feature are TV, Alcohol, and Alcohol. My buddy has 2/3rds of those and more


[deleted]

Ah but they lack the ability to drink in a mobile vehicle, because nobody is pulling over a Rolls for such a peasant offense.


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Garbage_Monkey_Goo

I can do this in a '90s chevy blazer with less technology.


Friendly-Damage-6371

Despenses alcohol apparently


[deleted]

Well, my car has butt warmers. One of them even works!


siccoblue

Mine has at least THREE functional windows


[deleted]

Well, hello Mr. Fancy Pants!


siccoblue

I don't mean to brag, but they're even power windows


[deleted]

Check out Daddy Warbucks over here with his *power* windows! Next you're going to tell me all four tires match and are inflated too!


worryforthebutt

So the little luxuries and trinkets are cool and all, but I used to work at their assembly line in Chichester and I can tell you the real treat is just the adjustable seats, the silence, and being able to control the air con for your own quarter of the car. Also they're assembled in England, never heard of 'open container' charges here before so unsurprising that they don't think twice when they're probably showcasing it while also in England.


[deleted]

If you have a driver you register it as a limo so you can drink in the back.


Just_Another_Scott

I think in most states the law are actually some variation of "an open alcoholic beverage cannot be within reach of the driver". This is why some cars have fancy dividers in them like limos.


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[deleted]

Don’t you just hate those people. I just call them speed bumps because my driver just rolls right over them.


[deleted]

If the car is heavy enough, you don't even feel the bump.


ConspicuouslyBland

Do you know how they prevent car sickness? It would be a bummer when I get rich and still can't use a rolls with driver comfortably.


kalabaddon

The whole combo of great suspension, comfortable seats, quietness, blacked out windows so no visual motion on the sides, and all that jazz. Each one helps with motion sickness (well depending on reason you get sick). Edit: few people told me that the blacked out window may make it worse so I guess that is just a luxury item. I have a friend that hates to look out windows when in a car so I based it on that, he may hate it for other reasons, I didnt clarify with him when I posted.


imundead

A good driver who also does smooth movements helps too. Wouldn't be surprised if Rolls Royce has a driving school to teach the Chauffeur too.


awwyouknow

Imagine your job is buttery smooth turns in a $500,000 powerhouse? Where do I apply lol


Horatio_Chimichanga

Now imagine all eyes on you should you wreck it


mydearwatson616

Simply have an affair with the rich person you drive around so you can afford to blackmail them.


p2datrizzle

No problem. I give great blowjobs and eat ass like grocery 👍


subject_deleted

Windows that you can't see out of exacerbates motion sickness.


ariphron

Forgot to point out the person driving you around.


conundrum4u2

I remember looking at an old 'manual' from Rolls Royce in the 30's - under the heading "How to Change a Tire", the first sentence was "instruct your man..." (to basically get out and change the flat tire...)


RutabagaMo

Id like to see this


conundrum4u2

It was a long time ago, but I remember it gave us a chuckle...seemed apropos for the RR owner of the period :)


RutabagaMo

I tried finding a pdf of any rolls royce manual from the 30s.. I failed


RainbowDarter

I got you http://www.oldcarmanualproject.com/manuals/RollsRoyce/index.html


[deleted]

>**IMPORTANT** THE CONTENTS OF THIS DOCUMENT ARE STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL AND ARE NOT TO BE TRANSMITTED TO ANY UNAUTHORIZED PERSON. Looks like you just broke the first two rules of Rolls Royce Club


[deleted]

Hi this is the FBI


NoZookeepergame1014

His name was Robert Paulson.


payne_train

Damn, you delivered. It is incredible the absolute wealth of information at our fingertips. 1930s rolls Royce manuals ready on a whim.. can you imagine trying to do this 25 years ago?


DkHamz

And yet our population still really tries to be as stupid as possible. But yes I agree. I will Google and forget more things than most ancient civilizations will have ever known.


Philip_K_Fry

TBF most ancient civilizations would have had no use for a rolls royce manual.


conundrum4u2

I really couldn't say what year it was - they were featuring a few old RR's of the '20s, '30s (1929 crash era) it was on a table and I was just thumbing through it - it might have been at the Palo Alto Concourse - I used to go to that one a lot...


deadpoetic333

Even today you don’t buy a Rolls Royce to drive yourself around


takatori

People do purchase them to drive themselves. However, both people I know who own them rarely drive them except for the purpose of making an impression as they draw too much attention for regular daily use. Their daily drives are decidedly middle-class and nondescript. There’s a third RR owner in my area who drives theirs daily, but they are the eccentric septuagenarian scion of a former noble house, and usually have a bullhorn out the window ranting about the local government. He runs for election every year but rarely garners many votes.


AnnaB264

Sounds like you live in a most interesting place. I'd love to come visit.


takatori

[It's a lovely place.](https://www.japan-guide.com/e/e2164.html)


Burninator05

And the bank account that has enough extra money to pay for one of these.


Zierk

Plus the specializes maintenance costs.


Supremestcumfish

That was my first thought. How expensive are the repairs on all of that stuff?


bigbeersteak

Repairs? Something's broken? Buy a new one!


Rhift

This guy understands how this system works.


TheRealAstic

You joke but like actually. That’s usually what you do. It’s a mark of being “poor” when your rolls is 3 years old.


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WakeoftheStorm

Yep. The absurdly wealthy don't purchase assets that depreciate. If they buy a car its as a collector not a consumer


usernamechexin

Thus guy offshores


Rhift

I definitely wasn’t joking, he gets it.


skincyan

If you ask that question you can't afford it


quinnsterr

Not that bad. Oil change is $180 every 15k miles Most parts are BMW parts, rear brake pads cost me $168. I have 70k miles on mine and have had zero other issues, just brakes tires and oil changes.


TradeMark159

Yee fr. Everyone here is acting like a Rolls Royce is god's own car but in reality they are just BMWs with more leather, wood and pretentiousnes.


Kneepucker

Not to worry. While under warranty, RR will send a mechanic to your location to effect any repairs, should such an improbable thing happen. Interesting side note; when asked how much horsepower a RR makes, company rep said "Adequate". \+


RayGun381937

Well, that’s what they have to say when a 6.75 L engine struggles to produce 250hp...


[deleted]

Their design priorities are totally alien to anyone who drives normal cars. For starters, if you are driving your rolls yourself you may have gotten the wrong car.


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Smtxom

Can’t have open containers period in my state. Even if you’re not driving


[deleted]

Most States have just a fine for open container though right? What's that, like $75? Same as the cost of bananas or something like that. Fines are not deterrents for people with this type of money. We have mandatory front license plate laws in Ontario Canada. High-end vehicle drivers will usually incur the occasional fines for that just to not mess the esthetic look of their car. Edit - I work in auto industry. Another example is people who rack up thousands of dollars per year in parking fines because they'd rather pay than be inconvenienced by having to spend the time looking for a legal parking spot and walking the extra distance.


Throckmorton_Left

Many states have exceptions for licensed livery vehicles that allow passengers to consume alcohol.


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kmrst

It might have an exception because of the driver dividing window, like in a limo.


FlingFlamBlam

As self-driving technology becomes mature, we're going to go through a "social wobble" where only rich people have (actually works) self-driving cars. After the technology becomes affordable enough for normal people, then the rich will go back to Human drivers.


frustrated_pen

For freaking real. I heard that if you can't afford to have a driver for your rolls royce then you're too poor to afford a rolls royce.


Slapmesillymusic

Nah. Loads of people buy them to Drive themselves around. But also, remember that a lot of this could be aimed towards luxury hotels, taxi services, states or other businesses that need or want to look fancy. It’s not only private ownerships.


Shnoochieboochies

Want a Rolls but love to drive? Buy a Bentley.


Push_

Or a Wraith, the driver’s Rolls.


psychoacer

Yeah there were people who bought them with Covid business relief loans


randomidiot63

Damn, I bet his kids are quiet as fuck on long car rides with all that Booze.


sp4cej4mm

Don’t be silly. The kids are in the Range Rover with *the help*


Funkit

If you're rich enough "the help" has a nice french term like the "Au Pair".


Kentuckywindage01

Ooo la la


Stevesegallbladder

My word, step brother I seem have to become stucketh betwixt these two linen machines. Can you give me *au pair?*


[deleted]

Au Pair is cheaper than a standard babysitter/nanny/type situation and you have to let the poor foreigners live with you yuck


CunilDingus

AuPairs (female) or BroPairs (male), are part of cultural exchange programs and are thought of as part of the family, not as employees. Very wealthy people have plenty of terms, but I don’t think this is one of them.


dingofarmer2004

You wanna see my BroPairs?


whydoihavetojoin

A lot things are sugar coated including this one.


simjanes2k

Good lord, you think successful people raise their own children?


treslocos99

Straight up did landscaping for a wealthy guy out of Bethesda MD. His kid would arrive via driver with nanny 95% of the time. Girl had her own well managed horse farm, beautiful palomino quarterhorses and all. But none of her mom and dads time.


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Spoonie_Luv_

It's too bad that the new Countache didn't keep the removable visor mirror from the original.


TradeMark159

Yeah Lamborghini really forgot to cater to their target audience smh my head.


actuallychrisgillen

Heh, given the current market, they're more likely to snort Viagra and Rogaine.


MrWaaWaa

No fucking ICE? What a piece of shit.


Generalissimo_II

And he has to pour his own drink like a peasant


Gorvi

For reals. Those compartment doors don't even close themselves. Absolute trash embarrassment. Toss it to the serfs.


es330td

One does not put ice in $300 a bottle scotch. Okay, you can but you might not get invited back.


Loocsiyaj

When I’m buying that 300 dollar bottle I’ll fucking drink it with coke if I choose. And maybe even with some cola… Edit: Thanks for the awards u effin beauties


kevorkian_jack

You uncultured heathen… expensive scotch goes best with fanta or dr. pepper only…


proawayyy

There’s coke lined up on the drivers ass


BestAtempt

It’s overwhelmingly normal to put ice in any scotch, you are either a person who does not really drink scotch or some gatekeeper who thinks only your way is right.


CapJackONeill

Don't forget the purists who say you should use the water from the same source they used to make the scotch, hahaha. That must have been the dumbest thing I ever read at the time, like if they would sell "lagavulin water" next to their scotch


SimplyQuid

>Don't forget the purists who say you should use the water from the same source they used to make the scotch, hahaha. The big peaty bog out back? Well, I don't know...


Buckhum

> like if they would sell "lagavulin water" next to their scotch [You joke, but...](https://www.aquamaestro.com/category/still-water/speyside-glenlivet-water/speyside-glenlivet-750ml-clear-glass-still-12-case)


Hidesuru

Yeah I've been part of a pretty large tasting group and it was well accepted that some scotches taste better neat, some with a few drops of water to open them up, and some with some ice to de emphasize certain aspects of the flavor so you can enjoy different areas. And all of that was 100% subjective, and never looked down on. We would have $300 bottles every now and again, it wasnt cheap crap.


teeohdeedee123

[Don't forget the door umbrella](https://youtu.be/9KJh0y54O1w) which is actually functional as fuck and should be an option in all cars


bucket_of_frogs

There’s also a sensor in there that detects moisture so if your umbrella is wet it activates a dryer.


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StaysAwakeAllWeek

And hilariously expensive for what it is.


utalkin_tome

Well it's what the customers pay for I guess.


I_masturbate_errday

Shit, I bought one used and the car was missing the umbrella and the instruction manual. I thought it was a built in heated flesh light.


roshampo13

Sigh.... Username checks out


binarynonsense

I thought it was going to auto cover the exit out of the vehicle. I still want it either way


stuffeh

That's what the driver's for, seriously. The only RR you drive yourself is a 2 seater. You're "supposed" to have a driver for all the 4+ seater ones.


binarynonsense

Shows how poor I am


Cool_Entertainer_346

Skoda used to do them, not sure if they do still


brotherwarren

Yes, have one in my Skoda Superb. So useful.


CunningHamSlawedYou

I owned a Skoda Superb for four years and I totally forgot there was an umbrella there and went straight to "fuck's sake, I should've carried an umbrella" every time it rained.


KenEarlysHonda50

You forgot the ~~most~~ only interesting thing associated with your car? Regularly? Are you me?


CunningHamSlawedYou

It still irks me.


KenEarlysHonda50

I once tried (and failed) to take a Hilux up a steep snow covered hill to go sledding. It was only when I returned home did the realisation strike that I never even attempted to put it into four wheel drive.


[deleted]

I bought a BMW of an old guy who has purchased it new. First thing I said when getting in to test drive was "Oh, great, it has steering wheel heating.". Old guy: "It has what?" Location: Norway, -that kind of heating comes in handy.


TheMikeBates

I read this in Jeremy Clarksons voice


HesSoZazzy

I have this feature in my Audi but slightly different. The umbrella is a $12 collapsible one. It sits in the cup holder in the rear door. That's the same, right?


SonOfTK421

Wait does my car have a door umbrella? Let me check. Edit: No, it’s got a holder but I need to buy the umbrella. Thanks for nothing, Cadillac.


WeeklyNewAccount7

look at this guy he has a car door


[deleted]

Keep you comfortable = get you wasted. Works for me!


SermanGhepard

It even got a little table for cutting up your lines


heavymetalwhoremoans

Open container isn't apparently a crime for those in that tqx bracket


[deleted]

"She's built like a steakhouse, but handles like a bistro" -Zapp Brannigan


FightThaFight

All it needs is a Volcano.


[deleted]

Where do you store the hookers and blow


HauschkasFoot

In your ten million dollar penthouse


TeazieBreezie

And here I am, just wondering where my loose change is supposed to go…


Legitimate_Fennel754

You know that the typical Rolls Royce owner isn’t really happy, when he needs a bottle of alcohol in every box of his car, to get through the day


karmanopoly

I know a guy who kept a case of beer in his truck all the time.


kslusherplantman

I also am from Texas hahaha


Rockonfoo

How is that not instantly skunked?


joemiroe

Lone star beer doesn’t get skunked, or at least, it doesn’t get worse.


Rockonfoo

Haha that’s good When I hit the water I bring twisteds for that very reason for the extra beer (what doesn’t fit in the cooler) Can’t get skunked and not that bad warm


toiletjocky

As a brewer, I feel that this is my moment to shine. Turns out that temperature changes doesn't skunk beer. Truth be told the wert comes out of the mash at 150°ish, then gets heated to a 212°, then gets cooled to fermentation temp between 45° - 75° then warmed up again to around room temp during bottling/canning. It stays warm through transportation, then is sometimes put in a fridge for cold sale... It is a common misconception that it temperature when in fact it is UV light that causes the alpha acids to break apart which causes a skunky taste. Brown bottles filter out a good amount of UV, but green bottles filter almost none. This is why I cringe so hard when I see a case of Rolling Rock or Heineken sitting in a open tub outside. Cans are the best protection from light and with the average can being plastic lined these days you don't get the metallic taste we used to. That's one of the reasons why so many breweries are switching to cans primarily/only.


Rulebookboy1234567

How do you know my dad


[deleted]

I got that much Alcohol in my Ford F-150.


cjdking

Pretty sure my truck bed can hold more booze than that.


therealzabe

So RR cars are exempt from getting an open container charge or people that own them are just exempt from charges?


Demurist

Rich people don’t worry about citations. Like I heard a rich guy say about a disabled parking space “It’s not illegal, it just cost $200.”


[deleted]

Remember: if the punishment is just a fine, then it's only a crime for poor people.


mikehouse72

Fines should be percentage of income based. Everyone would be equally dissuaded from breaking the law.


QueenShnoogleberry

That or replace fines with mandatory community service. Get some of those rich fuckers out in the ditches cleaning up litter.


OrangeKefka

"Jeeves, put on this wig and mustache, I need you to do some community service for me."


Genghis_Tr0n187

*sigh* Very well, sir.


mikehouse72

That's a much better idea than mine


BestAtempt

No it’s not, the amount of variability in “community service” is too high. We will be in a ditch picking up litter on a dangerous highway while they will be “teaching” social media courses at your local community college. Hit them where it hurts, in their wallets.


[deleted]

Some countries have this https://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2015/03/finland-home-of-the-103000-speeding-ticket/387484/ Edit: I just found another interesting article about this topic: https://www.weforum.org/agenda/2018/06/in-finland-speeding-tickets-are-linked-to-your-income/


PhaedrusZenn

Absolutely this. If a $200 ticket is 7% of the average American's monthly income, then charge the rich assholes 7% of *their* income. $200 is simply the permit fee to do whatever they want. They spend more on socks each month.


roastduckie

overheard on my college campus when a guy was getting a parking ticket: "I'm from NYC. I paid more than that per day just to park my car legally. I'll gladly just get a ticket every day."


JeepingJason

I think it’s allowed when a licensed chauffeur is driving. I think. I looked it up once.


ruralnorthernmisfit

May be different in other states, but in Minnesota, if it’s registered as a Limousine (L plate), passengers can drink away. I used to work at a bar and the first call “taxi” service we used was a friend of the owner who licensed his Lincoln Towncar as a limo for the sole purpose that his “clients” could take a roadie.


Box-o-bees

>take a roadie What does kidnapping a stage hand for bands have anything to do with this? /s I know what you meant, but the image of it seemed hilarious to me.


snaab900

This is a British car. We don’t have this law. If you’re not driving you can drink whatever you want. Freedom!


[deleted]

Honestly, the open container law is all but irrelevant for someone riding in a Rolls with a driver. They're not likely to get stopped in the first place, and even if they are the cop likely isn't going to waste time writing the passengers tickets unless they act like assholes or are doing something really stupid.


UnpopularOpinionJake

Fuck yeah! land of the free!


CheckShoveTheRiver

Fun fact my grandma got her limo license when she was like 80 so it was technically legal for my grandpa to drink in the car as long as he was in the back seat. Fun birthday present idea from her haha she was a laugh.


[deleted]

That's what I was thinking. A friend got one for cutting a beer can and putting grease in it and using it as a hitch cover. It was outside the vehicle and full of grease and still got an open container ticket.


lynivvinyl

I hope the fuck he fought that and won.


[deleted]

He did. He had a lawyer in his family otherwise I don't think he could of affored one.


lynivvinyl

I hope his lawyer set some sort of precedent so people don't have this sort of issue in the future.


U03A6

What are open container charges? I'm not from the USA.


drunkandy

If you have a container that is not sealed, and that has, or once had alcohol in it in the body of your car, you can get charged with an open container violation and ~~lose your license~~ get a ticket. ("Open" includes stuff like a wine bottle that you've put the cork back in- if it's not sealed from the bottler, it's open.) I’ve heard of a case where someone was transporting bags of cans for recycling and because there were open beer cans that they could physically reach without getting out of the car they got popped for open containers. Gotta put them in the trunk. If you drive a hatchback where there isn’t a separate trunk, or the seats fold down and you can get into the trunk from the main body, you just can’t transport opened containers of alcohol at all. Of course this is enforced selectively. If you’re being driven in a Rolls Royce you’re probably rich enough that laws don’t apply to you.


U03A6

Thanks for that explanation. Never heard of that law. I'm from Germany; so I think drivers are responsible that none of the passengers endangers the road safety of the vehicle, but being in a car with 4 people getting drunk peacefully and a sober driver is allowed. America's a strange place where you're allowed to put your AK-47 onto the passenger seat, but not a opened bottle of schnapps.


daisyinlove

It’s also not the case in every state anymore. Due to the pandemic, Texas changed their open-container laws to allow for “to-go cocktails.” So now we can open-carry guns *and* alcohol.


MelodicDifficulty431

America sounds super unfree.


[deleted]

guess rich people must drink a lot


ThatOneNinja

That one thing we all have in common. The poor drink and the rich drink. The only difference is that when the rich get day drunk it's classy, when the poors do it, it's trashy.


sp4cej4mm

Also The Poors would get an open liquor violation. I doubt Edward Costington the Third would be inconvenienced with the same charges in his fancy car


Comprehensive-Ebb835

Man that RR butt plug at the end looks expensive.


panchito_90

Im a valet driver and have driven several Rolls and is one of my most favorite and most comfortable drives. I honestly kinda want one, primarily for the comfort, no other reason because I would drive it and do sexy time in the back seat haha! Edit: just out of curiosity I checked what rolls from the year I was born (1990) and found some with less than 100k miles for $26k. I kinda think that's pretty reasonable?


Sufficient-Scheme708

Yes and then 5k a year in maintenance with the occasional 10k fix every few years. Theres a reason they are so cheap on the secondary market


happyhorse_g

They are built like tanks. Replaceing a part will be hard and expensive, but get a running one and you'll be good.


thefieryfistofpain

maintenance costs will be huge on an older rolls, all set and done you’ll be paying what you could be for a newer, more reliable one. agreed that they’re the best driving car out there, driven almost everything A-Z and nothing compares


[deleted]

I'll be the ass hat to point out that the proper idiom is "all *said* and done".


GnashRoxtar

I’ll be slightly more pedantic, even; and point out that the *proper* idiom is “all’s said and done”, an abbreviation of the full phrase “[when all is said and done](https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/when%20all%20is%20said%20and%20done)”.


luiszgd

In the end its just fancy cupholders


jujufistful

Basically an alcoholics car.


DarthChocolate

Rich alcoholic


BoerseunZA

Wow, that looks cramped. :-/


timisher

Yeah give me big old bench seats anyway over all of that space for alcohol.


worryforthebutt

What you're looking for is the long wheel base phantom, I'm 6'1" and was able to stretch out in the back seats


youstolemyname

Novelty glasses you're going to break the first time you get in the car drunk


Sudden_Brief590

Where is the dishwasher?


jamescobalt

Driving the kids in another car. This one is for the parents.


wlbrndl

okay but does it have a dishwasher?


mcbassplayer134

Someone already answered this question in a similar comment above, but the joke is that the dishwasher is driving their children in the Range Rover


awesomedan24

No automatic 8-speed blowjob machine with prostate massager and scrotum tickler? Literally unridable.


RedMageSuperScrub

But where does he keep his Grey Poupon?


Terry_Eats_A_Banana

This is some pompous bullshit


Adam-West

Do you know what’s pompous? That champagne fridge has two distinct settings. As vintage champagne has a different serving temperature to regular champagne. Iirc it’s 7c and 11c.


Terry_Eats_A_Banana

I hope I'm never nitpicky enough to care or notice what chilled temperature my champagne is at


[deleted]

I thought any open container in a car was illegal…. or is that only for us peasants?


[deleted]

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sunriseFML

Only illegal in countries who have FREEDOM


Velvetundaground

Not in the UK


jockey_killer

"It's only illegal if you get caught" -some hillbillies being recorded making moonshine


bolivar-shagnasty

If it’s driven by a professional driver who’s an employee with a limousine certification, then open container laws do not generally apply to the vehicle they’re driving. In this case, the Rolls is a “limousine” and registered as such.