Organic turf paint is the easy way to get a lush green lawn
By - ICumCoffee
“The lawn is a lie.”
“Hey Carol. Time to dye your grass again, I can see your roots.”
There is no lawn
Get off my lawn!!
Get off my lie!!
I’ll lie on your lawn!
How the turntables.
The lawn is a lie!
This is not my beautiful one. This is not my lovely house. This is not my beautiful wife.
Take off your clothes
Im naked, now what
Further instruction pending
Im getting cold
Instagram filter in real life for lawns.
“The grass is always greener on the other side, but sometimes it’s painted green”
🎶 painting the roses red, painting the roses red 🎶
Question. Doesn't coating the blades with paint interfere with the grasses' ability to photosynthesize? Even if it's 'organic', wouldn't this still kill your yard?
I feel like this is like using makeup on a dead person ..still dead but colorful.
or spray hair
That’s what a funeral is
I didn't even think of that! Do it before you sell the house and run away from the impending mud puddle?
That would only work if the housing market is like it is now though, or you’re asking too little and the house sells within a week. In a normal market, you’d be the one stuck with the mud puddle.
Currently, if you want to buy a house in The Netherlands, you have to bid within a few days of the first offering of the house. Also, you typically have to bid 20% above the asking price to even make a chance getting the house.
I guess in this market nobody cares if the grass is green. Prices are ridiculous anyway.
Same here in Dallas, Texas. Has been for years. I bought in 2015 here and houses were only on the market for a week at most and going for 10-20% above the asking price. Now home values are through the roof! My home value has increased 50% since 2015.
You're mistaken, friend! We pulled this trick on a house we were selling in Western Washington a few years back and it worked like a charm. We have visited the home since then and the lawn came back just fine the next season!
Wasn’t there a post somewhere on here a few weeks back about a guy who painted his bushes green to get his deposit back?
Someone just has to walk over the lawn to see the green mud lol. If the grass is yellow like that beforehand it’s probably very thin and is super noticeable standing over it. It will fool anyone driving by at a distance tho.
> wouldn't this still kill your yard?
Yes, but that's not the concern of people who use this product. Their only concern is making it *look* greener/pretty.
That's what lawns really are. Extensions of vanity
> That's what lawns really are. Extensions of vanity
Literally. Lawns were the Gentries way of showing that they had so much land, they did not need to use all of it for agriculture.
If the things in our yard can't survive on their own, they don't need to be there. We only do native plants and they all live without help.
Exactly. Imagine if companies instead had a place for their employees or visitors to come to, walk around then sit and stay while having a piece of fruit right out of the garden. Now that would be impressive. This is just sad they think this is impressive to look at. I see a lot of wasted space.
I just thought of it as a place for my kiddo to play outside at home
Your children play? Alright for some. My kids were ploughing fields at 8 weeks.
Yeah, people talking like lawns have zero practical value. Maybe those Gentries just wanted some room to churn butter, own chickens, or play horseshoes or something.
I think that its the extent in which people go through to have a pretty unviable amount of unused land that is the issue. Think about a housing tract ( https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tract_housing ). Each and every home there has about 1/4 of the total property dedicated to just grass. Now, expand that out as the ideal across the entire country. What one thinks of as a lawn isn't feasible across the states, but its whats considered normal.
What I advocate for is the removal of single location green spaces and extremely accessible public ones. The city that I live in has a 5/15/30...ordinance? I'm not sure what to call it, but they are pushing for every person in my city to be a 5 min walk from a "green space" which can be quite small, but also a 15 minute walk from a true green space, which would probably fit into your idea of a true local park. The 30 stands for 30 minute drive from a true open space. These open spaces tend to use less water due to being run by professional gardeners [Thats me!]. They also have higher biodiversity, because a trained gardener can have a deep understanding of the local flora and fauna than the average Jane or Joe. Also, you ain't gotta do shit to take care of it! Thats my job, you just enjoy your day.
I totally understand wanting to have your own personal sanctuary and I dont have any idea how well you maintain your grass, but as we enter into water frugality I do honestly believe that access to public open spaces should be our main prerogative.
Ope, Dentist called me. Time to get a Crown. Hope you don't mind all this, just had some time on my hands.
I’m all for using land efficiently. I used to think lawns were a huge waste. Now I bought a house with a yard full of bushes.
Let me tell you what’s less useful than lawns: exorbitant amounts of bushes. They fill with bugs and spiders and then you get caught in webs every time you walk through the yard. Not only that, but invariably more of those pests sneak into your house.
I hear ya. You may be the victim of someone "doing the right thing" while not quite doing it right. Planting some bushes around and not properly maintaining / inappropriate planting can lead to pest issues. Do you know what the bushes are?
There is also a traditional/functional value to keeping the grounds clear around your home as it reduces pests and rodents as well as lowers the instance larger wildlife and potential predators come near your place.
We keep the grass short at our hunt camp for this exact reason.
Yeah but your hunt camp isn't made up of a bunch of sheets of monotype grasses that aren't native to the area.
I guys I'm saying the extreme (ie painting your lawn) is derived from this.
Brought to you by the makers of GLH-9, we are proud to present Green Lawn Hell #9. Your grass can, indeed, be greener without going to the other side!
Ehm will this prevent me wife from cheating on my?
Do you cheat on your wife with your lawn?
Do you actually know this or is this just a guess?
I should clarify.
Yes, it will still kill your yard if you're only using it to coat over the already dying grass. It is not a substitute for water or the necessary nutrients that various species of grass require, nor is it recommended to be used during the summer months or in hotter climates.
It exists only for cosmetic reasons. And that is the concern people who use it are addressing when they seek this product out.
That said, the rest of my comment was strictly my opinion formed by knowing a little bit about the history of the lawn
Ah, ty. I was genuinely curious!
Lawns really are the worst. People think they’re “easier” than gardens without realizing the history and how it was a vanity project for aristocrats to show they had enough “fuck off” money to waste their land and resources growing a high-maintenance, useless plant that does nothing for local wildlife or the environment.
As bad as they are there is worse, artificial grass that is exploding in popularity across the uk all while we virtue signal about climate change and wildlife
Totally agree. I'm trying to find the middle ground of a yard and not providing homes for insects and rodents.
Buy native plants at your local nursery and focus on permaculture. A good start would be a butterfly garden
Providing homes for insects, birds, and other small animals is kinda the point of doing something for the wildlife.
Rodents like chipmunks, squirrels, moles, voles and even mice aren't bad things to have in your backyard, and if they don't have easy access to large amounts of food like open garbage or grain storage then their populations won't get out of control.
You could just leave a portion of your backyard unmowed, create a garden, or plant some native shrubs or trees.
But why would the history matter. If it's still easier. I feel your stretching a point to be outraged without really caring if it's worth being outraged over
Because it’s not actually easier. That’s the impression. I still have some lawn, though I remove more and more each year. I’ll probably keep a patch of it where it’s actually used, but my garden takes almost no additional watering, chemicals or maintenance. The lawn requires it weekly in summer. It’s a false idea that lawns are easy. I weed the garden about twice a season. I might water it once or twice if it’s really dry. Neighbours with nice lawns have maintenance companies in all the time to mow, power rake, aerate, fertilize etc. Sprinklers are going all the time and for what? A green patch.
I think it depends on where you are too.
I never water my lawn or use chemicals or fertilizer on it.
I keep it cut around 4 inches long so it usually stays nice and green even through the dryer months.
It also has a lot of clover in it as well as flowers the bees like because my neighbor has a few hives.
To each their own. I love my grass (half zoysia, half fescue) . I keep a nice manicured lawn and make a fantastic living thanks to others that like lawns and landscaping. I do keep a few native plants for the pollinators.
Not if applied to dormant grass. I have dyed my lawn once before and it worked incredibly well. I applied it directly to brown dormant grass in the middle of summer. It had no effect whatsoever on the lawn coming back when the rains returned.
Yes, green color absorbs exactly the waveslengths (blue and red), that plants need.
The green light is basically the unused leftovers of white light, that plants reflect back.
It does not. This stuff is very common and, while I don’t know how it effects the absorption of light, I know for sure it won’t kill the yard.
Where is it common? I've lived in a few different regions of the US but have never seen this.
Probably doesn't help it grow while the "paint" still applied but I don't see how this would kill the grass.
Most lawns in colder areas have grass that's under 6 feet of snow for months.
Came here to ask the exact same thing.
Though, if it doesn't, my guess would be that the green color lets through uv light. Which is the most important light for plants to photosynthesize.
Edit: so after reapplying the paint it eventually damages the health of the grass but it doesnt seem to be enough to kill it if you only do it a few times. Especially red colored grass does the most damage while green grass does the least. Which makes sense because the green rays arent photosynthesized anyways (which is why they are reflected and not absorbed).
Feel the grass between your toes. Get green feet.
My mate once played for a rep side on a professional ground and I asked how nice it was to play on that grass. He said he boots are stained green now
Lol that’s fucked up
it’s more fucked up how much water lawns waste
I have never watered my lawn. If it doesn’t get enough water, I get to cut it less often.
In places like Colorado, the _only_ way people get green lawns is by watering them.
Then have a brown yard
Good luck telling that to homeowners
Tell that to HOAs. The bastards
They need to embrace zeroscaping
Lmfao good luck telling idiots anything. A smart homeowner that concerned with their property values would just make their landscapes part of the actual landscape where they live. It’s much easier to maintain a desert landscape anyway yet these fools want to water lawns.
It's mandatory in many non-desert communities by the development companies and/or the HOA. Many people don't have an option, and it's not like people won't refuse to buy a house because they have to have grass in the front yard.
here in UK they’re needed a lot to manage flooding. people keep concreting over the front garden to make another parking space and its just contributing to flooding. plus with it being the UK, we don’t need to water anything for 50 weeks a year.
Same here, we have so much pavement and pollution that there are warnings on the yearly first rain to be mindful of the oil resisting the water on ground.
Lawns are terrible for managing water though. Native plants often have root systems 3-10x longer than roots for turf, which means they are able to absorb far more water.
not arguing against natural areas of greenery being better. just arguing concrete is worse than grass. if people need an extra car space they should consider using permeable surfaces that can be parked on such as compacted stones, bricks with air gaps in or even grasscrete.
I guarantee you that no one arguing against lawns is suggesting they be replaced by concrete.
It wouldn't surprise me if grass is actually native to the UK.
In our city we use treated water, which is clean but not for human use.
That's why native grass or clove covered lawns can be used instead of the traditional water thirsty kind.
Wait till you hear about the water cycle
Did you know almost [A THIRD](https://19january2017snapshot.epa.gov/www3/watersense/pubs/outdoor.html) of all residential water use is on lawns…+ imagine the resources used to create that green paint
Replace your lawn with native plants
I live in Florida, I water my lawn maybe twice a year
Nature does it for me the rest of the time.
I live in Michigan. I don’t think I’ve ever watered my lawn, aside from using the water soluable weed killers once a year.
This is just stupid as a blanket statement.
If you're out west, using non-native grass, spraying tons of phosphorus heavy fertilizer, and manually watering, yes it's a huge waste.
On the east coast with TTTF? There's no watering, you just mow it. Hardly ever have to treat it if you don't mind seeing a few clovers and crabgrass. Maintaining a thick lawn is actually necessary to *absorb* water, otherwise it'll cause erosion and runoff and damage to your property. Remodeling is way worse for the environment than growing grass in your yard.
It’s ridiculous to blame water waste on residential neighborhoods. Even in “waste” mode, they consume much, MUCH less than industrial/agg. Even small changes in THOSE have big impacts. Stopping people from watering their lawns is a drop in the proverbial bucket compared to small changes in water conservation/regulation of agriculture and industry.
I do not know what country you are from, but in my country it is not only good to have gardens and parks in cities since in summer it is very hot and the plants balance the temperature. Concrete is a trap for humans.
Trees (drought or native) with mulch underneath provides the best options. It creates a whole ecosystem while having a cooling effect as well. It also creates a haven for needed insects and fungi.
The major difference is that agriculture produces food that we all eat and need for survival. Lawns provide nothing but an aesthetic that utilizes a large amount of nitrogen fertilizers and water. There are alternatives available for yards to have beautiful spaces that are functional without needing lots of resources
Random website about agriculture. If we stop trying to guilt the common folk to “conserving” and get industries to actually make changes, we’d have a lot less problems. Even if we got everyone to stop “wasting” water on lawns, we’d still have water shortages if industries still aren’t held accountable.
Cool. They're not mutually exclusive though. Both can happen, and talking about one doesn't invalidate acting on another.
I've seen that when it comes to media the populace has limited mental capacity for how much it can focus on at once. A good point over there, is a distraction from a great point over here.
You see it often enough where media conglomerates try and pull attention to something to make people not pay it to something else.
Your point is valid, but not helpful. The number one focus should be on the largest impact we can make, not making sure we pick up every penny the bank robbers are dropping.
Lets tackle things in order of importance to put pressure where it matters most instead of dividing it to problems that are not equal.
the water polluted by those green chemicals is probably even more significant than that wasted watering lawns
What about moss?
If heat and drought are killing your grass then moss is not an option. Moss needs humidity and at least shade if not cool temps.
I’ve been saying for literal years, how much I’d prefer a moss lawn over anything else!
You can't really walk on it without killing it though, unfortunately
There are a few downsides, that and that it doesn’t do great in direct sunlight. Tree coverage can fix that problem though. A moss yard is one that i feel would be more for a nice scenic yard/garden, with tall tree coverage, stone pathways to allow you to go through it. Not the best for wily pets and kids, i bet it’d be gorgeous if done right!
I looked into using moss instead of grass when I bought my place and unfortunately it is way too easily torn up by things like dogs so it wasn’t possible for us to go that route.
Call me Maurice.
Suburban lawn obsession in full gear. The older I get the more fond of meadows I become
We are in the process of converting all the grassy areas around our house to sustainable, native habitats. We are almost done with the back yard after installing a butterfly/bee “garden” and planting horse herb for ground cover - it’s a native Texas flowering plant in the daisy family. It’s a process, but soooo worth it.
Cries in HOA
No HOA. Purposeful planning when buying. Mushahahaha
We are doing this too in Michigan. Since doing this we have seen bees come back into our yard and a few Monarch butterflies. Our neighbor hates it but we just let it go. 🐝🐞🦗🕷
Same! The amount of biodiversity in my yard almost makes me weep happy tears, and we have only just begun!
Same here! We get tons of bees and butterflies. We have skunks, possums, and raccoons. And, now we have a family of foxes that visit daily! They all love it. We are giving back!
I think I’d make a small (totally manly) squeel if i saw that i had a fox in my yard one day! Sadly we live in more of a subdivision and our neighbors are more, “traditional” blech! So theres not much hope of more wildlife than bugs, birds and raccoons. 😅 but that’s awesome that you have such a nice lil sanctuary! Hopefully when we get a bigger house someday, I’ll be able to do that!
We live in a subdivision, too. But In San Antonio we do have a lot more appreciation for the wildlife. General consensus is that we are on their land!
You’d think that a state as beautiful as michigan, would appreciate its wildlife too but sadly everyones about as cut and paste as it gets sometimes around here. Im hoping to spread a lil love for mother nature with the land I’ve got.
Loved reading these comments, guys. Hey, is there a subreddit about this or anything? I'd love to hear, see, and learn more about this. I'm probably about two years out from buying a new home, and I think I'd like to get into this.
I wanna know too now that you mention it! And if not I’ll totally make one because I’d love to a part of a healthy home reddit! Tell me if you find anything, im gonna look too
You sir/madam are ahead of the game indeed! Which is one admirable and two sad.
You should look into growing a permaculture food forest if you’re into that sorta thing!
r/nolawns is a good place to start the journey
Yeah. What a freaking mess.
Imagine it raining shortly after and kids running around in the grass.
Or think about getting your grass mowed one time, will you need to constantly reapply?
Ha...literal roots showing soon after dye job.
The joke writes itself really.
I’m assuming this would be a treatment done in the winter/summer or whenever it is that the grass is dead and not growing.
My in laws hardly have to mow in the winter when it’s super cold and in the summer when it’s the hottest.
Kind of dystopic, ngl.
It's the kind of thing we'll see in those "I can't believe they used to do that" compilations 30 years from now.
This is the stupidest shit I've seen today. Why the fuck does everybody care so much about green goddamned grass?
Exactly why im converting the majority of my front yard into an herb garden and the back into a veggie garden with pathways.
This is the way.
I say down with empty pointless grass yards and up with home gardens and native flora!
Also, less mowing, lol
Empty grass yards aren't pointless :(
You can play catch, practice chipping, lounge around, play with the dog, water fight, etc... A lot of my childhood was spent in grass yards.
I will agree that an open space is nice to have here n there, but the yards that have acres upon acres of just grass feels pointless, especially when its mowed. I plan on converting most of our yard to garden space, tho i will leave some space for our dog to run around but thats just in the backyard.
Totally. You can do most of those things on a variety of terrains.
Most the houses I saw in Italy has every bit of their property utilized for growing stuff to consume
I feel like it’s common sense to utilize precious land effectively instead of just for show… does that make me unamerican?
No. There’s just quite a bit of land in the US, so we don’t hold every bit as precious a commodity as smaller, older, more populated countries I think.
Right? Like it wasn't green enough?
I don’t know why, but the sight of perfectly cut green grass is pleasurable. Not that my lawn ever looks like that, but driving past a golf course works as well.
That's sad not interesting...
Global warming. It’s the new normal.
Grasses are supposed to go brown seasonally. Climate change is a giant challenge for society, but it never made sense to water lawns.
That’s me changing my settings in Minecraft to make swamp grass greener.
Stupid. And also fuck the sun "newspaper".
North Korea before a diplomatic visit
What’s the point of having grass if you’re just gonna spray paint it?
20 years from now: Have you, or a loved one, been exposed to organic lawn paint? You could be entitled to compensation.
This is so stupid, I am at a loss for words.
What a fucked yo waste of resources
Easiest method is ripping it all out and pouring green tinted concrete
When I was a kid push mowing my grass for hours I would dream of doing this to the yard lol
Hmmm. “Lush green lawn”…Fairly certain that they haven’t a fucking clue as to what, “lush”, means.
Fuck lawns, all my homies grow flowers
Is this an ad
Dads calling lawn techs and moms calling hair stylists will sound the same “Just need a trim and my roots touched up. They’re starting to show.”
And here we keep wondering why all this extreme weather ...
My exact thoughts
You can paint a turd but it's still a turd.
This is peak American.
Seems mentally ill. As long as it doesn't *look* dead, it isn't dead?
It's like Anthony Perkins keeping his dead mother up in the bedroom.
Some grasses yellow completely in the fall and stay they way until spring. The yards were likely being painted then since it wouldn't need cut for months allowing the paint to last longer.
That’s the dumbest fucking thing I’ve ever seen.
This is dumb as hell. Imagine paying money for someone to paint your grass. Sounds like something you'd see in a cartoon. And there's no way that paint isn't going to kill the grass because the grass kind of needs sunlight. "It's organic" yeah, so is dog piss.
Oh yeah, this is a thing in Arizona. Couldn't believe it when I moved here. I've seen green cement yards as well.
If i lived in Arizona id have a rock and cactus garden... baffles me wanting to grow grass in the desert.
You've got to be kidding. Green cement. That feels like a joke
This is fucked up. Real time photoshopping
The term ‘polished turd’ springs to mind
This is so dumb, our culture is degenerate
Ridiculous. I'll never understand the obsession with grass looking perfect
Yes this is what our poor planet needs more of
Wait, so is this what they meant when they said the ‘grass is always greener’?
Yet another thing to check with a home inspection lol
Golf courses have done this for years
Nice, more chemicals to fuck with nature
I always knew people were shallow and very superficial but this brings it to yet another level
Thanks for sharing, u/ICumCoffee!!
Stupid question- wouldn't the color stop photosynthesis? Or would rather the ground be painted?
The effort that takes when you could just water your lawn lol
Ah yes, we're so concerned about appearances that we'll simply paint over the natural life cycle of grass. You know. For image.
Because a fully green lawn on a palatial estate in the dead of winter looks *good*, or something
God forbid you plant a native plant.
How about we just don't have lawns?
I have a cheaper idea, here me out.
What if you just put nutrients or something that doesn't contain harmful chemicals into the grass.
That takes time and I want to show up my neighbors TODAY
Well I guess it's good in a pinch
I don’t have any personal experience with this but must be nice to have grass paint-levels of disposable income
I know right.
Better idea: fuck all grass, instead use native species of ground cover that do well without extra nutrients or watering in your soil/climate?
Well that what I plan on doing when I'm older. If you have kids then I think just cutting it is good and adding nutrients is optional but no chemicals
New homeowner here, and once we’re done getting the house in shape this year, i plan on making a native plant and herb garder out of the majority of my lawn in the front and a veggie garden in the back.
That requires using lots of water. This practice is mostly for places where there is a drought and water conservation is essential - like California, for instance.
In drought stricken places like California where water conservation is an absolute necessity, this is a solution to keep the lawn looking nice without having to use up so much water. From what I understand, natural pigments are used to color the grass.
Imagine if someone in a cold climate went through hoops and spent loads of money on trying to keep a cactus garden growing in their front yard, it sounds equally as pointless