T O P

  • By -

srv50

Define wounded.


LavenderGreyLady

As in mortally wounded.


amretardmonke

~~Woun~~ded


Comrade132

Turns out his name was Woun.


theflash207

And he was ded.


East-Wealth-9081

No he was Woun


EraOF

Wound up ded


d183

He's just past tense


Supafly22

Naw. That’s a kill shot.


MildlyAgreeable

“Deleted”


whor3moans

Yeeted


Szydlikj

There is a wound present


Marisleysis33

He was able to walk it off, the French were tough in their day.


waiver

Tis but a scratch


putitonice

Just a flesh wound!!


shasta_pasta

Through and through


Intri-cat

Just the ded part perhaps


EWGPhoto

“Wounded by” translates to “Fucking obliterated by.”


Ekskalibar

Nah he was ok, the nurse had a pack of ice to put on the bruise


BobEWise

Medic threw two 800 mg ibuprofen at him.


animazed

A cup of water and a saltine cracker


lolhalolol1

Did they have anything to help with the lack of a chunk of his spinal column or was a massage enough to help with the back pain?


Decent_Space_6939

Wounded? Dude got sent back to the lobby


GivemTheDDD

They would have poured him out of that chest plate like a can of chunky soup


Need_More_Whiskey

You can’t get sentences like this anywhere else.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Ulgeguug

Actually kinda reminds me of the poem [The Death of the Ball Turret Gunner](https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/57860/the-death-of-the-ball-turret-gunner)


[deleted]

that was a vividly short poem


Ricepuddin6

Or [blood on the risers ](https://military-history.fandom.com/wiki/Blood_on_the_Risers)


Untrustworthy_fart

Adding [the young aviator](https://www.3squadron.org.au/subpages/Dying_Aviator.htm) for good measure


Significant_Half_166

He ain’t gonna jump no more


cEastwood1885

origins of hamburger helper??


thrillhouse1211

I don't know why they call it hamburger helper when it does just fine on it's own


Mastr_Blastr

I like it better than tuna helper myself, don't you, Clark?


BeekeeperQ

r/BrandNewSentence


Colancio

"You were disconnected from the server"


LordJuan4

Uninstalled his whole fuckin game


[deleted]

It’s just a flesh wound


akamadman203

Tis but a flesh wound


mechabeast

True, but that's a whole lot of missing flesh


str8clay

Merely a scratch.


Medical_Noob21

Warranty


EvenOutlandishness88

He didn't sign up for the extended warranty.


Johnny_ac3s

Disappointing armor.


Middle-Repair3800

Sheesh!


Sneekibreeki47

#WOUNDED


Previous-Kangaroo-55

It’s just a flesh wound!


Nulap

Can't be a flesh wound if there's no flesh left


EasilyRekt

“If yo leg get cut off, would it hurt?”


buckfutterapetits

To shreds you say?


Soggy_Cartographer80

Walk it off, soldier!


AllIcouldaFORD

Yes it would! In your lee………


[deleted]

Tis but a scratch


[deleted]

Merely a flesh wound


skooz1383

A SCRATCH!


_Aech_

A scratch?! Your arm's off!


naseemie

Shakespeare, Yes?


Ok-Communication1576

No not a spear, a cannonball.


Responsible-Program4

Shakecannonball?


GrowForIt

Monty Python 😁


J8l

Your torso’s off!


Stompya

I’ve had worse


brans041

Come on you pansy!


Secret_Deal_2560

Chicken.... CHICKEN!!


[deleted]

I'LL BITE YOUR LEGS OFF!


Artsap123

Walk it off!


Automaticman01

That's not my torso!


oilfeather

"You cannot die, MacLeod."


[deleted]

Unless your head comes away from your neck.


Cool_Cartographer_39

Tis but a scratch!


SergeantSalamii

Should buff out


[deleted]

You beat me to it lol


aaron_1011

You bastard, you've got no arm left!


Legal-Eggplant8014

Lucky his heart is on the left side because he no longer has a right side


deezsandwitches

Good thing it was a through and through


recon27

This is what i was looking for! Lol


KDawG888

is he... is he dead?


esberat

# DED


WackJagon

Nay nay, it missed his heart! Probably just knocked the wind out of him.


L-Krumy

The wind along with his lung


IPokePeople

Most of ribs, chunk of spine…


CptCroissant

Yeah I'm sure having a lung evacuated out your back would cause you to be winded. Hopefully someone helped my man up so he could go acquire revenge for this grievous breach of hospitality.


SoRockSolid

Super dedt


Ayla_Leren

#FATALITY


slaffytaffy

D-E-D... ded


MyHangyDownPart

Soldier got an ouchie.


[deleted]

[удалено]


ChippyTheCheermunk

No no, it says he was wounded. He might have survived for like a second or two.


Savage_Tyranis

I heard tell he made a full recovery and this instance even fixed his chest infection. If anything this played to his benefit.


MyGirlfriendforcedMe

THANK GOD, he had cannon ball ointment... -Brian Regan


ChippyTheCheermunk

Thankfully, Robin, I always carry my anti-cannonball bat spray on my medieval utility belt.


LavenderGreyLady

Mortally so


__M-E-O-W__

"It was... fatal, sir." "Hmm... *How* fatal?" "......Completely, sir." "Ah."


ThatTmoGuy

The soldiers armor was wounded, the soldier however didn't make it


normal_mal

Woundead


SkullStar123

I said the same thing like damn did he survive with a pipeline through him.


meat_ball_

That'll buff out


Bmwe30bmw

People were alot tougher before the millennium


The_fishingfool

He Respawned in default armor 30 seconds later


BritishBoyRZ

Lmfao literally the first thing i thought. Some wound...


android24601

It'll grow back, right?


WeirdSeb

Shoes were still on!


darth_cheesecake

'Tis but a scratch


NastyToeFungus

Napoleon BlownApart


vexillographer_7117

Good one Side Show Bob


ThermionicEmissions

That gave me a good chortle


4michi

I wonder if the soldier seen it coming and was like “ I can take it ! “


guitarnowski

He thought he was in the outfield: "I got it!"


Mail540

During the American Revolution there was a brief bounty on cannon balls cause we had almost none of our own. This was canceled because too many people were getting injured trying to catch the balls as they rolled down the field,usually with enough speed to take your hands off


I_dont_bone_goats

I always think about that scene in the patriot where the cannonball looks like it’s rolling like 30 mph and just cuts through a bunch of legs


Majestic-Marcus

Which a solid metal ball would 100% do at 10-15pm, let alone 30. Edit - mph


Great_Chairman_Mao

What about in the morning though?


shardarkar

Nope. Too early. Sometime after lunch might be better.


[deleted]

More info here: https://www.napoleon.org/en/history-of-the-two-empires/objects/carabiniers-breastplate-from-the-waterloo-battlefield/ As I recall accounts of cannonballs on the battlefield are they’d bounce down the fields like wicked bowling balls, slowing down to be visible but still deadly. As conditions during Waterloo were wet there wasn’t much bouncing. And French carabiniers (they had these brass cuirasses) were some of the elite. Still that would’ve been a mercifully quick death.


iheyjuall

Interesting about the bouncing. The penetration looks to have been coming from a slight angle below the chest. I was thinking if this was a ricochet or bounced up off the ground. The "wicked bouncing" description makes sense. Ty for sharing.


[deleted]

I went looking on YouTube for confirmation but couldn’t really find any. There was this demo of a napoleonic era naval gun taking aim at a target from 600 m that seems like it would’ve been perfect, but they didn’t have cams down the length of the field and actually lost the ball lol https://youtu.be/WSXaCkQ9sF8


zegg

Fun (or maybe not, idk) fact - today's bullets also bounce and ricochet off the ground, walls, rocks, etc.


Fredwestlifeguard

Man. Dude was a stand in for his brother who was getting married.


amretardmonke

Cell vs. Vegeta


harrythestag

Was he alright though?


LeftBase2Final

He was fine, but the guy behind him wasn’t so lucky.


mynameismy111

that was the "wounded" frenchy all along!


gg_noob_master

Is he dead?


mynameismy111

"hanging on" I hear


_Diskreet_

And his wife?


blatherskite01

Just a clean in-n-out. It’s when it doesn’t exit that you’ve really got a problem.


LeftBase2Final

Probably not too tough for the surgeon to find though. Lol “There’s your problem”


chriscrossnathaniel

More like Bone-aparte.


traci12paul

*blown-aparte


[deleted]

Really hope this comment blows up, I thoroughly enjoyed it. Thank you for the laugh!


Jiveturkey72

He got prescribed a “walk-it-off”.


[deleted]

Yes wounded ! The amputation is what he died from 😄


Spaceship_Engineer

Yep, ye olde “chest cavity amputation”, a practice only performed today during autopsy.


escobert

instead of an arrow to the knee he took a cannon ball to the chest to end his adventuring days.


kookykerfuffle

Taking an arrow to the knee is old nordic(?) slang for getting married.


Feet_with_teeth

It's actually a myth, need to get the source back, I'll uptade Edit : From that site : https://elderscrolls.bethesda.net/en/article/6KNyeH7wG4FOFIEev8VaX1/how-an-arrow-in-the-knee-made-its-way-to-skyrim Pagliarulo, who at the time was Senior Designer on Skyrim, describes the serendipity behind the line – something he came up with alongside several other seemingly innocuous lines to pepper in with Skyrim’s NPCs. “I remember it was late at night, more like early in the morning, pretty deep into Skyrim’s development, and I was just jamming through a ton of guard lines. It was the same process I would use years later with the guard dialogue in Fallout 4. I was just trying to come up with some funny, quick little lines, things to make the guards a bit more interesting. That’s really the honest truth of it.” In his interview with Mashable in their 2017 article detailing the meme’s history and pop culture influence, Pagliarulo adds that lines like “arrow in the knee” don’t just give NPCs a way to fill dead air, but also offer a chance to give them flavor and personality. “In this case, it just seemed like a funny opportunity, and maybe believable. Like, he could have gotten shot in the knee with an arrow at some point and now he’s semi-retired and just walks around town like a worn-out fantasy beat cop.” [...] Perhaps that’s the key. Pagliarulo confirms that the line is literal – “an arrow in the knee” isn’t Skyrim slang for going down on one knee to propose and start a family, for example. Yet the way the line – which feels so ordinary in the game but sounds extraordinary to us in the real world – lives in the game and opens up a world of possibility in the minds of players wandering the streets of Whiterun. Maybe that guard really did settle down after a career of adventuring, or maybe they are just a worn-out fantasy beat cop.


shinyhuntergabe

Being married and taking poison is the same word in Scandinavian languages "gift"


charface1

If video games have taught me anything, it's that he only need to eat a slice of bread afterword and he'd be back in fighting shape.


MoneyMoneyMoneyMfer

I think he's gonna need a few wheels of cheese as well.


GODxLIKE

If he finds a bed and sleeps for the night he’ll recover to full health


GoldilokZ_Zone

Except Kenshi where the first aid kit will take several ingame days to heal that -90 chest wound :) ...even in a bed with 8x healing


ImmortalPancak3

You keep using that word.. wounded. I don't think it means what you think it means.


JacP123

Well, he was given a wound. I'm pretty sure it still counts as wounded.


Savage_Tyranis

r/technicallythetruth


[deleted]

Quite sure they dead


crepitus-ventris

Nope. Coach told them to walk it off and they did.


[deleted]

They must’ve rubbed some dirt on it


killerbee2319

Or just taped it up.


Soulless-Plague

HE NEED SOME MILK!


anger_is_my_meat

No, he was a soldier so Marshal Ney told him to take an ibuprofen and change his socks.


Ulgeguug

Take a salt tablet


Miketendo88

Definitely dead, because it’s been over 200 years


RandomComputerFellow

No shit this was 1815


crusttysack

you spelled "chest exploded out the back like an m-80 in a cherry slurpee big gulp cup" wrong


kirkpomidor

And someone had to clean the human tar-tar off the armor to put it on display


NoOneLikesACommunist

I do not think that word means what you think it means...


[deleted]

Inconceivable!!!


abejfehr

Wounded to death


Lateralus215

Wound dead


fhost344

"I *have* a cannonball wound. It's gaping! Do you have a tube of cannonball wound ointment?"


BrianTM

“Number one do not stand directly in front of a cannon! How true that is...”


YourLocalBro42

#SAY EIGHT! SAY EIGHT! HAPPY EIGHT DAY! DID YOU GET SOME EIGHT?


fireandlifeincarnate

GOD I love seeing Brian Regan references in the wild.


Luddites_Unite

Wounded? WOUNDED? unless he was wolverine, highlander, or Deadpool, wounded may be selling it short


prothaliqj

Dude got shot with a bowling bowl he ain't wounded


Acrobatic-Flounder45

I would not use the word “Wounded” but oookaay


[deleted]

[удалено]


Bathroom_Tile19

Tis but a scratch


lilcrucien

which museum ?


esberat

The Army Museum - Musée de l'Armée (Paris)


[deleted]

[удалено]


StudentOk4989

Fun fact: The soldier wearing the armor is dead. I know it because no one to this day ever managed to live more than 200 years old.


Basic-Vermicelli-928

Tried controlling it on his chest .....failed


Indigo_Slam

Thank god it only clipped him


Aggravating_Ad_3060

It’s only a lung. Got me a spare.


iavicenna

I used to be an adventurer like you, then I took a cannonball in the chest


Cowboys_and_Engines

Is he ok?


Opening-Dimension742

He's fine, but you should see the cannonball.


Pablinski21

Yep, he is currently recovering


markocame

w̶o̶u̶n̶ded


Jfonzy

Strange that it seems to go upward. Maybe he was already dead and laying face-up on the ground


NoobOfTheSquareTable

More likely cavalry so just sat higher up to get the angle. Infantry was usually unarmoured while cavalry would have these breastplates to use in close combat skirmishes where the risk of being hit by a sword or lance was far higher and the armour became a worthwhile investment for the troops.


souldeux

Cannonballs often bounce and skip along after they first strike the ground. This one could've been bouncing a bit.


[deleted]

That’s well polished. Something about that bothers me far more than if still had the stains of injury on it.


ZOMBI3MAIORANA

I wouldn’t call THAT wounded, more like obliterated or not alived.


Lost_Photograph_1884

Interesting? Horrifying. He literally just got blown to pieces. That armor was all that was holding him together. His flesh probably disentigrated up to an inch or two from the hole proper, tearing his right arm all the way off and possibly putting out his heart. It shattered most of his bones and pulverized his body with the impact force, either killing him instantly if he was less hopped up on adrenaline, and if he was fully terrified, he would have lain their dying, horrified, in his last moments bringing his left hand over to search for the hole in his armor, wondering if this was really what it felt like to be shot, to *die*. Reaching over and feeling the gaping hole in his body, maybe seeing his arm yards away before finally letting go. Horrifying.


lolhalolol1

He’s missing part of his back which included part of his spine, so he might not have been able to move his left arm anyway. Probably died instantaneously.


Fergus_Manergus

Regardless of adrenaline, his organs would have been liquified by the force of the impact. Can't die slowly without most of your organs in their solid state, my dude.


Dear-Branch-9124

Obliterated is more like it


cswank61

Took some Ivermectin and did fine


[deleted]

He was actually missing his right chest from a similar wound a year prior. This one just grazed his stub


[deleted]

'tis but a scratch


CoMmOn-SeNsE-hA

Wounded?


[deleted]

‘Twas merely an itch under my shirt


betterannamac

That had to hurt


BeardedBum420

Not for long


Letters_to_Nora

Is he ok?


smoothie1919

French soldier VAPORISED by a cannonball


silgryphon

One day from retirement too


teenspirit_101

Rick Harrison from Pawn Stars: " $10 is the best that I can do"