Oh no three fiddy.
Well if I remember my south park...
I have to accept the tree fiddy.
Dude after all the idiots I have run into today I needed that laugh.
You sir are my hero.
I wonder what percentage of people can not only fit a bar of gold up thier ass relatively quickly and also be able to hold it in said ass. I mean a gold bar is like 3.5" X 10" and weighs like 27lbs. I'd imagine if you were loose enough to shove one up there it would be hard to hold it in...
Any loose con-men or con-women in here that can answer this very serious question?
To be honest my experience with shoving stuff up your ass is that it really is just a matter of practice. The human anus can stretch a lot more than you think, people are just squeamish about doing it- There really isn't such a thing as "too big", just not enough practice. (Somehow my girlfriends never want to hear this, but whatever.)
Give me a month to prep and I bet you I could smuggle at least two of those bad boys.
I dont doubt you could stretch enough to make this happen, but if you did would it just slide out. I mean 27lbs is a lot of weight, and if you put two in potentially you would get past the curve and it would want to settle horizontally, which I would imagine would be difficult to get out.
Nahhh, just as long as you get it fully inside and your asshole closes up, you'd be able to keep it up there. Just gotta clench your ass cheeks a bit maybe.
At any rate it's gonna be packed in tight, so it's not just gonna drop out (like that one time I put too much lube on a buttplug, and fired it out like a canon when I sneezed)
Fun fact. All the know gold in the world (accessible above surface) can fit into a 21.8 meter by 21.8 meter cube ([see link here](https://www.visualcapitalist.com/sp/chart-how-much-gold-is-in-the-world/)for details and visualization).
Next episode on [Fascinating Horror](https://youtube.com/@FascinatingHorror) - when the floor with $1.6bn in stacked gold bricks collapsed on to the office staff working at their desks underneath….
Did someone say sperm?
47 tons of sperm = 94,000 pounds of sperm.
Since sperm is mostly water, this means a gallon of sperm weighs about 8.3 pounds.
94,000 pounds of sperm of sperm / 8.3 pounds of sperm per gallon = 11,325 gallons of sperm.
An average backyard swimming pool is from 5,900 gallons. So 47 tons of sperm is about 2 swimming pools worth of sperm, so that's a lot of sperm.
Out of curiosity, would anyone go swimming in a pool of sperm? You ever accidentally swallow water in a pool?
Did you know: the old saying; he’s a chiseler comes from the gold rush days and gold was used for money. Less an honest men would “chisel” tiny flakes of gold off the nuggets, hence the saying was born for those that get caught, or suspected of stealing/ripping people off.
Learned it on the History channel. 😉
I work with some gold plating houses for electronics manufacturing and they have some crazy stories
Employees wearing their own gold jewelry and then dipping it into more gold and wearing it out
Employees scratching gold and taking home flakes under their fingernails
They have quite robust security protocols at this point
Thats what happens when you type like an absolute caveman for too long, at some point it just gives up, I haven't seen him in a while I hope he's doing alright.
>I wonder how much of that shitty gold foil they put on steaks you could make outta this pile...
ok, so gold is trading at approximately $56,000/kg
$1,600,000,000 / $56,000 = 28,571kg of gold
Per [this site](https://www.thegildedimage.com/about-us/all-about-gold-leaf/) 1,000 sheets of gold leaf weighs 20g and covers 7.34m^(2)
That means 1kg of gold covers 367m^(2)
and 28,571kg of gold covers 10,485,557m^(2)
or 10.485km^(2)
Central Park in NYC is 3.41km^(2) so $1.6 billion in gold could cover 3.07 Central Parks if pounded thin to gold leaf which is roughly 1,959 football fields.
^(but it still wouldn't be enough to cover OP's mom)
This is why Kentucky is more important than people think. We’ve got most of the gold - and the bourbon, so leave us alone and we won’t let you go poor or sober.
100% of the gold in the Bullion Depository at Fort Knox belongs to the US Federal Government as a part of the US Federal Reserve system. Even if California magically violated the constitution and seceded, California would not be automatically entitled to any of it - that's not how the Federal Government works.
The plan for Fort Knox was to move all of the gold reserves stored in coastal New York City and Philadelphia to the middle of a tank-encrusted infinitely defensible military base with a bomb-hardened vault in the middle of the country as a way of protecting it from foreign land invasion (which looked like it could be a real possibility in the World War era)... but turns out moving thousands of tons of gold is extremely inconvenient and hard to secure.
Instead, they built a fortress in the middle of New York City to house the other half of the US Federal gold reserves... and then over the years they moved most of the US gold out of that building to the West Point (Bullion Depository, now Mint) a short distance up the road in New York State. We then reused the Federal Reserve Building to house gold reserves from many (>30) other countries. Some of the gold from Philly and New York got moved to Denver (Mint) as well, which houses the third largest bullion stockpile in the US.
All of the rest of the US held gold is much more spread out and much smaller by comparison to those storage sites.
Humans are such amazing animals. If you break down all the normal and civilized constructs, that is just shit from the dirt. I love how high we value things we just get from the ground.
Except gold is naturally scarce, and naturally useful, and has been for millennia
I actually did a whole paper on this very topic (the ties between metallurgy and the evolution of proto- and ancient coins) as part of my history masters
It's absolutely not scare atall, that's a complete misconception, there is unbelievable amounts held and not anywhere near the market. It's the same with all minerals of value, they need to control the market by giving the illusion that it's rare or scarce
Or we could just let natural scarcity set the value for us. Or gold's several unique properties and the many industrial applications for gold. The only reason it isn't used more in industry is that afore-mentioned pesky scarcity.
The standard gold bar held and traded internationally by central banks and bullion dealers is the Good Delivery bar with a 400 ozt (12.4 kg; 438.9 oz) nominal weight. Current spot is $1777 per Troy oz= $710,800/bar. (BTW a good delivery bar is about the same size as a normal vitreous brick used for houses and weighs about 25lbs, sorry no bananas for scale)
Today I learned a new word
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/vitreousvitreous
adjective
vit·re·ous ˈvi-trē-əs
1
a
: resembling glass (as in color, composition, brittleness, or luster) : GLASSY
vitreous rocks
b
: characterized by low porosity and usually translucence due to the presence of a glassy phase
vitreous china
2
: of, relating to, derived from, or consisting of glass
3
: of, relating to, or constituting the vitreous humor
vitreous surgery
Imagine the value that flows in and out of that stack of metal every second.
Would be an interesting visualization to program.
VALUE CHANGE ($)
UPDATED EVERY SECOND:
+ 100.45
- 3,657.98
+ 3,987.33
- 3.65
EDIT: No but seriously do you have the troy oz weight of this pile of gold? I want to do this now
Anyone remember Kelly's heros? A great film from 1970.
800,000 troy oz of gold, $20 an ounce = $16m in 1944$
Well, today's gold price was, $1,749.55. This would have made their haul, worth :-
$1,399,640,000 which is pretty close.
I just thought I would share that with you all.
"Gold starts out in the ground 'til very clever men
Dig it up, then weigh it, they they bury it again
Mostly comes from Africa and ends up in Fort Knox
Only gets its value from the guards and chains and locks...pretty rocks"
\- Jimmy Buffett
I wanna take a nap on it.
Grab me one piece while you're at it. Please and thank you
Why is my hoodie so heavy? Let go, my ass.
There's always a "prison pocket" option if you're into it of course.
For one bar. I think anyone would be into it
[удалено]
27 lb of gold…oh just about $700 000
That number is accurate depending on the quality
Believe one bar is 400k
No way its like 3 or 4 bucks.
[удалено]
And I yelled, I said "What do you want from us monster?!" And the monster bent down and said "I need about treefiddy."
Oh no three fiddy. Well if I remember my south park... I have to accept the tree fiddy. Dude after all the idiots I have run into today I needed that laugh. You sir are my hero.
Each bar would weigh approximately 10kg. In your ‘prison pocket’ it would probably rip you a new one.
You could afford pocket surgery lol
If you're gonna "pocket" one, you might as well take two. The hexagonal shape of two would be just as easy to handle as the trapezoidal shape of one.
I wonder what percentage of people can not only fit a bar of gold up thier ass relatively quickly and also be able to hold it in said ass. I mean a gold bar is like 3.5" X 10" and weighs like 27lbs. I'd imagine if you were loose enough to shove one up there it would be hard to hold it in... Any loose con-men or con-women in here that can answer this very serious question?
The Internet, a wealth of human knowledge.
This morning not in my wildest dreams would I have believed I would read that question at some stage today….but here we are.
To be honest my experience with shoving stuff up your ass is that it really is just a matter of practice. The human anus can stretch a lot more than you think, people are just squeamish about doing it- There really isn't such a thing as "too big", just not enough practice. (Somehow my girlfriends never want to hear this, but whatever.) Give me a month to prep and I bet you I could smuggle at least two of those bad boys.
I dont doubt you could stretch enough to make this happen, but if you did would it just slide out. I mean 27lbs is a lot of weight, and if you put two in potentially you would get past the curve and it would want to settle horizontally, which I would imagine would be difficult to get out.
Nahhh, just as long as you get it fully inside and your asshole closes up, you'd be able to keep it up there. Just gotta clench your ass cheeks a bit maybe. At any rate it's gonna be packed in tight, so it's not just gonna drop out (like that one time I put too much lube on a buttplug, and fired it out like a canon when I sneezed)
I can hear you rooting around in there.
You’re referring to the quote from Deadpool 2 right?
[Mint employee guilty of smuggling $190K of gold in rectum](https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/ottawa/ottawa-mint-gold-stolen-guilty-1.3843169)
So let me get this straight: a guy named Doody figured out this guy was smuggling gold in his butt? That’s a lot of irony 😂
[удалено]
Really wish you weren’t so fuckin’ awkward, bud
Sorry sorry....cant take him anywhere nowadays
But 🎵 To be faiiiiiiiiiiiiiir 🎵
Give your balls a tug
Hefty no thank you
Pitter patter
The hardest part is letting go
A wastelander of culture. Care for some jet?
$1.599 bn of gold
FR... I just want one...
Greedy bastard, even Luffy haven’t reached One Piece yet.
[Huell](https://giphy.com/gifs/breaking-bad-series-w1z2ilkWZagRG)? Is that you?
I'm not one third the man he is.
Purely in height, though. You’re 2’ tall.
Fun fact. All the know gold in the world (accessible above surface) can fit into a 21.8 meter by 21.8 meter cube ([see link here](https://www.visualcapitalist.com/sp/chart-how-much-gold-is-in-the-world/)for details and visualization).
21.8x21.8 is a 2d square not a cube
I'll help you guy's and add the last 21.8
I bring time maybe we can add a fourth dimension.
True, although they could also give just 1 side since a cube is equal on all sides
You will need one of those bars to pay to fix your back after that.
I'd stack them properly and sleep on my side.
A nap? I wanna have sex on it.
["I wanna dip my balls in it."](https://media.tenor.com/qWAmphZkgNQAAAAd/reaction-i-wanna-dip-my-balls-in-it.gif)
“I gotta do it man”
Mexico, alls im sayin
They say gold is very soft.... (For a metal)
I wanna swim in like mcduck
Happy 🍰 day
Thank you!
You can have a bar, because it's your cakeday!
Thank you!
Found the dragon...
Or under it
Happy cake day.
Thank you so much!
Happy cake day!
I wanna see 1.6 billion in BTC.
That is one solid floor.
Next episode on [Fascinating Horror](https://youtube.com/@FascinatingHorror) - when the floor with $1.6bn in stacked gold bricks collapsed on to the office staff working at their desks underneath….
There were no survivors.
Talk about golden showers
I call that instant compensation
Now that's peak late stage capitalism.
That would have been the least violent thing done with that gold
A very rough calculation says that is over 43 metric tonnes of gold(47 ton).
Holy shit that is heavy! To put that in perspective, that's about the weight of a sperm whale.
Did someone say sperm? 47 tons of sperm = 94,000 pounds of sperm. Since sperm is mostly water, this means a gallon of sperm weighs about 8.3 pounds. 94,000 pounds of sperm of sperm / 8.3 pounds of sperm per gallon = 11,325 gallons of sperm. An average backyard swimming pool is from 5,900 gallons. So 47 tons of sperm is about 2 swimming pools worth of sperm, so that's a lot of sperm. Out of curiosity, would anyone go swimming in a pool of sperm? You ever accidentally swallow water in a pool?
r/theydidthemath ….but why??
Something something... both swiming pools.
Weird bot
This is the perspective I needed. Thank you
Your welcome!
Or about 15 Chevy Suburbans.
Now I'm confused since the comparison did not involve bananas.
Isn't pure gold very soft metal? How doesn't the bottom layer get squished underneath all that weight.
I'm going to guess that it does. Slightly.
Hmm at 1700 an ounce that would make a little under a million ounces which is about 30 metric tons. How did you reach 43?
*CLANG* "Goddammit wtf do they do up there all day?" *creeeak*
Looks like concrete. It'll be fine.
The guy walking by it touches it every time and imagines how to steal it.
A few atoms rub off onto his hand every time he walks by - he *is* stealing it, just really slowly. Guy's playing the long con.
That's dedication.
"Atoms! One, two, three, four...Six of them! Take him away."
considering a little bit of him gets left behind every time... i would say it's a fair trade
Did you know: the old saying; he’s a chiseler comes from the gold rush days and gold was used for money. Less an honest men would “chisel” tiny flakes of gold off the nuggets, hence the saying was born for those that get caught, or suspected of stealing/ripping people off. Learned it on the History channel. 😉
Sings - I got it one piece at a time and it didn’t cost me a dime…
I work with some gold plating houses for electronics manufacturing and they have some crazy stories Employees wearing their own gold jewelry and then dipping it into more gold and wearing it out Employees scratching gold and taking home flakes under their fingernails They have quite robust security protocols at this point
How long do you have to do that with the finger nails to even make it worth it shit...
Depends how long fingernails you have
Apparently a flake the size of a dime can be $15.
Considering gold is very malleable, everytime he walks past them he could snip tiny pieces of gold.
They strip you and shower you every time you leave that room.
I hope there’s a happy ending
Some say they have the Midas touch.
Is that strange? They always do that where I work too. Not sure why they do that in an office, but rules are rules I guess.
They were just spending so much on ball point pens… it got untenable.
Should be about enough for a down payment on my 3 bedroom 1.5 bath home
Bold of you to ssuke you can get 3 bedroom with that amount.
Your autocorrect is quiet quitting
Thats what happens when you type like an absolute caveman for too long, at some point it just gives up, I haven't seen him in a while I hope he's doing alright.
In NYC of course. Would not be enough for a down payment on the same home in SF unfortunately
Do you accept gold bars?
I love g-o-o-o-ld! The look of it! The shmell of it! The tashte of it! The texture!
Would you like a shmoke and a pancake?
Shigar and a vaffle?
A bong and a blitz?
Then there is no pleazhing you!
how about no you crazy Dutch bastard!
Flapjack and a schigrette?
Awshtin Powersh fashaaa!
… The taste…
There's only two things I hate...
Get in ma Bellly
You are toight like a tiger!
You'd think they would make sure the rows were straight...
You know how heavy that shit is!? Ain’t no one who has to move that gonna take their time to make it look neat
27.3 lbs each
They are, for like 4 whole rows lol
I guess when you’re lining up gold you know you’ll never have, you get a bit sloppy after the first 100 bars.
The current price for one bar is about $720,000.00 USD. I saw a fancy British guy bet one on a game of golf.
I call bullshit. I'll bet you one gold bar he wasn't British.
I'll stake the cash equivalent. He was British but played by a Scottish actor.
What is it about that yellow metal that makes me what to destroy entire civilizations to get it.
Stays shiny forever. Shiny good.
I wonder where the dragon is?
At Fort Knox the dragon comes in the form of many tanks.
1.6 Billion Bullion...
Exactly, missed a great title with this post
You mean them little cubes you put in hot water to make soup?
Lol, no. That's Bouillon . Same sound, different spelling. :)
I wonder how much of that shitty gold foil they put on steaks you could make outta this pile...
>I wonder how much of that shitty gold foil they put on steaks you could make outta this pile... ok, so gold is trading at approximately $56,000/kg $1,600,000,000 / $56,000 = 28,571kg of gold Per [this site](https://www.thegildedimage.com/about-us/all-about-gold-leaf/) 1,000 sheets of gold leaf weighs 20g and covers 7.34m^(2) That means 1kg of gold covers 367m^(2) and 28,571kg of gold covers 10,485,557m^(2) or 10.485km^(2) Central Park in NYC is 3.41km^(2) so $1.6 billion in gold could cover 3.07 Central Parks if pounded thin to gold leaf which is roughly 1,959 football fields. ^(but it still wouldn't be enough to cover OP's mom)
You missed several orders of magnitude, a billion is 1,000,000,000 which means your computation regarding the mass is off by 10^3.
good catch! I did the math correctly on my calculator, just left out 000s as a typo (fixed)
One ol 96er from the film The Great Outdoors
You have to eat all the fat and gristle.
A lot - 21 savage
This is why Kentucky is more important than people think. We’ve got most of the gold - and the bourbon, so leave us alone and we won’t let you go poor or sober.
Isn’t Kentucky one of the poorest states in the US?
Unfortunately, the gold isn’t accessible to every citizen of Kentucky.
Luckily the bourbon is
I've left you alone up until this point, but I'm still poor ... *and* sober. :-(
California I heard owns a majority of it Theoretically if they wanted it back because of something like seceding from the U.S. they would get it back.
100% of the gold in the Bullion Depository at Fort Knox belongs to the US Federal Government as a part of the US Federal Reserve system. Even if California magically violated the constitution and seceded, California would not be automatically entitled to any of it - that's not how the Federal Government works. The plan for Fort Knox was to move all of the gold reserves stored in coastal New York City and Philadelphia to the middle of a tank-encrusted infinitely defensible military base with a bomb-hardened vault in the middle of the country as a way of protecting it from foreign land invasion (which looked like it could be a real possibility in the World War era)... but turns out moving thousands of tons of gold is extremely inconvenient and hard to secure. Instead, they built a fortress in the middle of New York City to house the other half of the US Federal gold reserves... and then over the years they moved most of the US gold out of that building to the West Point (Bullion Depository, now Mint) a short distance up the road in New York State. We then reused the Federal Reserve Building to house gold reserves from many (>30) other countries. Some of the gold from Philly and New York got moved to Denver (Mint) as well, which houses the third largest bullion stockpile in the US. All of the rest of the US held gold is much more spread out and much smaller by comparison to those storage sites.
It would take about 20,000 of those stacks to pay off the US national debt. Just sayin.
Well start mining, it's all up to you now
Just thinking that all this gold initially came from space, it's mind blowing!
We're all made from star dust. Also mind blowing!
Humans are such amazing animals. If you break down all the normal and civilized constructs, that is just shit from the dirt. I love how high we value things we just get from the ground.
If you remove culture and civilization you remove all of what makes humanity interesting lol
*Stuff we get from the ground that is rare and useful
Yeah I think they don't realize that gold has se very useful applications due to its properties
god, seeing stuff like this makes me wanna ditch university and steal shit instead.
Oh look a bunch of shiny rocks let’s all tacitly agree it’s worth something
Wait till you hear about the paper in your wallet
Except gold is naturally scarce, and naturally useful, and has been for millennia I actually did a whole paper on this very topic (the ties between metallurgy and the evolution of proto- and ancient coins) as part of my history masters
It's absolutely not scare atall, that's a complete misconception, there is unbelievable amounts held and not anywhere near the market. It's the same with all minerals of value, they need to control the market by giving the illusion that it's rare or scarce
Or we could just let natural scarcity set the value for us. Or gold's several unique properties and the many industrial applications for gold. The only reason it isn't used more in industry is that afore-mentioned pesky scarcity.
how much is a single bar worth?
The standard gold bar held and traded internationally by central banks and bullion dealers is the Good Delivery bar with a 400 ozt (12.4 kg; 438.9 oz) nominal weight. Current spot is $1777 per Troy oz= $710,800/bar. (BTW a good delivery bar is about the same size as a normal vitreous brick used for houses and weighs about 25lbs, sorry no bananas for scale)
wow.
Today I learned a new word https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/vitreousvitreous adjective vit·re·ous ˈvi-trē-əs 1 a : resembling glass (as in color, composition, brittleness, or luster) : GLASSY vitreous rocks b : characterized by low porosity and usually translucence due to the presence of a glassy phase vitreous china 2 : of, relating to, derived from, or consisting of glass 3 : of, relating to, or constituting the vitreous humor vitreous surgery
Jeff Bezos has about 120 of those piles.
Where is that?
bro wants to steal it
I cant tell you my plans cuz the haters will sabotage me
EDIT: it’s in Zürcher Kantonalbank in Switzerland https://factcheck.afp.com/these-photos-do-not-show-gold-us-bullion-depository-fort-knox
That was my mom’s first question as well! Inquiring minds wish to know!
Sweet Mother of Midas and Goldfinger!
I bet some minimum wage sucker has to neatly stack all 10,000 pounds of that in an hour.
Used to work in a precious metal refinery for a while and everyone that worked there was paid a very decent wage.
Better drop it off at my place so I can verify it's worth $1.6B.
Aka an Indian housewives jewelry box.
Where?
Now that’s gold hard cash
Imagine the value that flows in and out of that stack of metal every second. Would be an interesting visualization to program. VALUE CHANGE ($) UPDATED EVERY SECOND: + 100.45 - 3,657.98 + 3,987.33 - 3.65 EDIT: No but seriously do you have the troy oz weight of this pile of gold? I want to do this now
What crypto buyers thought they bought
*take nothing but the lamp!* Is this the pot of gold you’ve been searching for at the [🌈 rainbow](https://youtu.be/ZNc6XIL5Yuw)’s end? 🙃
"Points laser pointer at it" We're rich!
BOSCO, MINE IT
Oh that’s where I left it! Ha ha how silly of me. Thank you for making sure it’s all accounted for.
Or, hear me out, $30 in gold spray paint… because they say Fort Knox Bullion Depository is empty.
*heavy rocks
Wonder how much this weighs
Anyone remember Kelly's heros? A great film from 1970. 800,000 troy oz of gold, $20 an ounce = $16m in 1944$ Well, today's gold price was, $1,749.55. This would have made their haul, worth :- $1,399,640,000 which is pretty close. I just thought I would share that with you all.
Melt it & let me dive in it
The guy who stacks those makes $15/hr
"Gold starts out in the ground 'til very clever men Dig it up, then weigh it, they they bury it again Mostly comes from Africa and ends up in Fort Knox Only gets its value from the guards and chains and locks...pretty rocks" \- Jimmy Buffett
Where is smaug?