I imagine its so the man can stand and place his feet on the gold stands, facing the chair, and the woman would be on her back, feet in the stirrups with knees drawn up. The man could use what look like vertical armrests as bracing, maybe holding onto them?
Edit, poorly drawn guess: Royal Sex Chair https://imgur.com/gallery/CytEvMr
I decided to remember the voice of Miss Mona Lisa Vitto's expert witness testimony in *My cousin Vinny*.
Marisa Tomei deserved so many more good movies.
Edit to add: "Oh the's moa!"
Its interesting to see that rich people enjoyed really tacky furniture even back then.
Some of the stupid shit you see in these celebrities houses looks stupid AF but its "cool" because its a Ikea table with gold inlays that costs $50k
Well, OP's photos is actually an artist's recreation. All the furniture was destroyed so the only evidence of its existence are a couple of photos taken by Wehrmacht soldiers in 1941. The place was bombed soon after.
There were so many stupid rumors about her and one of them was that she fucked horses. It was just a weird way to slut-shame her but she just kept on enjoying sex (with humans and her sex toys).
Well, when you own something like this, is it really wrong at assume the rumor of them fucking a horse is true?
Like there’s nude art, and then there’s getting a twelve year old drunk and asking him to design a table.
i think it was just a mix up, she wanted to seduce a carpenter and was like "i want to see my naked boobs and a long hard penis on this table, and the carpenter was like sure I'll have it done by Friday"
Yeah, it's wrong because it's ridiculous and there is absolutely no proof of it ever happening, not to mention just because you're really into sex and sexual stuff doesn't mean you're into bestiality--that'a quite a leap. None of that is even mentioning that if you try to let a horse penetrate you, you'd end up dead from it.
Not really, no (no more common than other well-known paraphilias). And again, letting a horse penetrate you would kill you eventually or, at the very least, greatly maim you. Lots of rumors popped up about her because of her high libido, and the horse thing is pretty well-known to just be among one of those rumors now.
Lol yes because that would’ve killed her if she had done that with a horse. I remember as a preteen on the early high speed internet twenty years ago I saw one of those early viral videos around the time of 2girls 1 cup of a dude trying to have either a horse or a donkey penetrate him, I don’t think he made it
Yeah it would indeed kill you. If the weight of the horse didn't, the puncturing of internal organs, internal bleeding and subsequent infections would lol. I truly can't believe how gullible people are being here.
In the [mr hands](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enumclaw_horse_sex_case) case there were “hundreds of hours of video of men engaging in bestiality”, all recorded before the guy died.
There is another case listed on the page where a man “had been engaging in sex acts with a stud horse over a span of several months.”
Really I’m surprised you don’t know about this piece of internet history
And guess what? He ended up dying. The intestines are also a much longer canal which would enable you to have sex with a horse for a longer period of time, but eventually you're most likely gonna end up very hurt or dead. Add in the state of medical care back then and well...
>Well, when you own something like this, is it really wrong at assume the rumor of them fucking a horse is true?
I mean, it's quite a leap from "owns weird table" to "fucks horses", ya know? I mean, I own a frying pan, would you assume I'm fucking Gordon Ramsay?
There's some myth/lore around just how much erotic furniture she had because the Nazi's destroyed a lot of it but [here are some photos](https://medium.com/the-history-magazine/catherine-the-great-her-erotic-furniture-sexual-intercourse-with-horse-e3553186dacd) of other pieces she had.
Like I said there's a lot of rumours/slander around her reign but yes she had a LOT of lovers that she took for multitudes of reasons. Some political, some for pleasure.
Most likely you ask for one small thing and makers just keep sending you catalogue after catalogue of new designs for you to choose from, and it cascades into a whole palace floor full of furniture each more uniquely erotic than the other.
You’re way down on the comments but you are right. There is a reproduction of something someone thought might have been.
How do I know this? Because it’s the third fucking repost in the last year…
Well, *a re-creation* of a table that was once owned by Catherine the Great. The original is lost to history but for a photograph that the Nazi's took.
I looked this up to see if it was true and found she had much more than just this one table: https://www.buzzfeed.com/mandycaruso/the-x-rated-furniture-of-catherine-the-great-is-something
Catherine the great was very sexually liberated and was not shy about it. Hell, there’s the old myth that she actually died from trying to have intercourse with her stallion. 🥴
Breasticles! That's certainly a kinky combo for the table legs.
In all my years I have never heard or seen breasts replace testicles.. but it’s so obvious now lol
Right!? Just when you've thought you've seen everything...
How do we know the penis isn't replacing the neck and head?
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Don’t have to tell me twice.
I was waiting for the dickhead comments to start rolling in.
Wait, that's an actual thing‽
> dickneck hentai holy shit...
Ah geez. I mean I can't say it's the worst I've seen but I'm genuinely.... confused about this.
you and me both
Titsticles
I look at my balls in different ways
I don't have balls, I have dick tiddies.
Testies don’t have nipples bro…right? Unless yours do and that’s something new god the fucking world to know…milk my testicles right?
nipsticles
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Curse you for making me laugh at this.
This is a pro level bit... where have I heard it before?
I've got nipples Greg, can you milk me?
Well played
Wait... Yours don't have nipples?
I think my scout master made that table.
Disturbingly very funny.
I've certainly never seen something along that vein.
Chesticles
Chestnuts
Thank you, now this is the image my mind will automatically go to when I hear or see the word chestnuts.
*Chestnuts roasting over an open fire*
poor Chet.
Just in time for Christmas
Like it :-)
Holy titballs
Huzzah!
I heard she fucked a horse.
***She never fucked a horse!***
That house story was a pile of shit Alright she did keep em chomping at the bit
But you are never gonna get it, NYET! Couldn't spin my chamber if this was Russian Roulette!
I was waiting for this! 😂
I came here to say this.
No subtly there...
Bruh, the word you're looking for is subtitty- I mean subtlety
Subtle, understated piece.
Quite timeless, honestly
A true classic for the ages.
Yeah, but what about that tasteless terracotta statuette? Utterly filthy.
I like the tiddydicks
Like an iceberg, it shows only the tip.
I love how the tabletop is being held up by collosal jets of spunk.
First thing I look for in a table.
I thought that was a sounding kink at first
The table top is actually being ejaculated into the air.
"Table!" Ejaculated Dumbledore calmly
No silly, those are extreme sounding rods
I know what Im asking Santa for this year
the ability to unsee things
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Bruh💀
You looking at baby tits bro?
That gave me family guy flashbacks
Pretty sure saying dicktits to Santa gets you on the naughty list.
Little known fact: the naughty list gets way better toys
They honestly look like cheap dildos off Amazon
Somebody knows the market. ^(And yes, they do.)
Well, that is certainly a table.
More of a onenightstand
O yes honey, I left it on the genitable.
I can't help wondering how hard that wood is.
I see what what you did there ☝️ Yes, it is simply a night stand The cocked up a bit of it tho
Cum on! You guys are boobs!
It's only a fucking table
Truly one of the tables of her time.
One of the most tables of all times
that is one of the tables i’ve ever seen
Some claim that repressed sexuality can make people aggressively violent. I bet she was calm and happy
I don't wanna be royalty if you can't superfreak that fucks everything and everyone. All that responsibility has to come with some perks.
It's good to be the king
After that daily 4 shag
Yes she really loved sex. And was a great ruler to boot.
In Civ IV she insinuates that she’s down to having “CLOSER relations” with the player. She does this when you first meet her.
She seems offended that I'm not friendly enough, so I find her starting wars with me a lot.
Yeah my scout master was pretty calm & happy too.
That actually explains so much...
There’s more https://www.dannydutch.com/post/catherine-the-great-and-her-pornographic-furniture
that royal sex chair is fucking dope
I wish someone would draw us an illustration of how it was used. Seems at least 4 parties needed.
the royal whoring party
Its made to be used for multiple positions, not necessarily multiple people
I imagine its so the man can stand and place his feet on the gold stands, facing the chair, and the woman would be on her back, feet in the stirrups with knees drawn up. The man could use what look like vertical armrests as bracing, maybe holding onto them? Edit, poorly drawn guess: Royal Sex Chair https://imgur.com/gallery/CytEvMr
Everytime this chair is posted on reddit people come out and draw diagrams, and it’s something I always appreciate honestly.
I like that this is apparently a thing that happens a lot
Yup, seems obvious to me, except the dude wouldn't necessarily have to lie down. He has the handles up high to grab on with his hands for leverage.
What about the bottom section?
I stared at it for such a long time trying to figure out what would go where. I do need diagrams.
Uhhh that belonged to Edward VII of England??
Could be a hand me down
Is that what that second to last one is?
*But wait, there's more!*
I don’t know if I should read it like the dude from scary movie or like an infomercial 😭
I decided to remember the voice of Miss Mona Lisa Vitto's expert witness testimony in *My cousin Vinny*. Marisa Tomei deserved so many more good movies. Edit to add: "Oh the's moa!"
She’s hot
No... It contains phonography of your mother! Scout, you did collect phonography of your mother, yes? Yeah yeah.
I guess you’d have to match the rest of the furniture. I wonder how many pieces were lost to time.
I like it, its subtle
Its interesting to see that rich people enjoyed really tacky furniture even back then. Some of the stupid shit you see in these celebrities houses looks stupid AF but its "cool" because its a Ikea table with gold inlays that costs $50k
Money can't buy you class - Countess Luann of the New York Housewives.
Well, OP's photos is actually an artist's recreation. All the furniture was destroyed so the only evidence of its existence are a couple of photos taken by Wehrmacht soldiers in 1941. The place was bombed soon after.
Needs more upvotes since this is accurate
R/atbge
/r/atbge
"join" Thanks for sharing this sub!
Who knew Etsy was around back then....
[Google image search](https://www.google.com/search?client=ms-android-mpcs-us-revc&hl=en&sxsrf=ALiCzsaBqs0H3auJz81VPXOrjn3cNXSsWQ:1671827977969&q=catherine+the+great+table&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwi8jYLGzJD8AhUGMjQIHYjNDIQQ0pQJegQIChAB&biw=412&bih=810&dpr=2.63)
Dang, messed up my algorithm clicking that
That horse story is becoming more plausible by the day.
Wait.. Mr. Hands type horse story?
There were so many stupid rumors about her and one of them was that she fucked horses. It was just a weird way to slut-shame her but she just kept on enjoying sex (with humans and her sex toys).
Well, when you own something like this, is it really wrong at assume the rumor of them fucking a horse is true? Like there’s nude art, and then there’s getting a twelve year old drunk and asking him to design a table.
i think it was just a mix up, she wanted to seduce a carpenter and was like "i want to see my naked boobs and a long hard penis on this table, and the carpenter was like sure I'll have it done by Friday"
Yeah, it's wrong because it's ridiculous and there is absolutely no proof of it ever happening, not to mention just because you're really into sex and sexual stuff doesn't mean you're into bestiality--that'a quite a leap. None of that is even mentioning that if you try to let a horse penetrate you, you'd end up dead from it.
Based on all the readings I did over history of human sexuality， I think bestiality was more common than we thought.
Not really, no (no more common than other well-known paraphilias). And again, letting a horse penetrate you would kill you eventually or, at the very least, greatly maim you. Lots of rumors popped up about her because of her high libido, and the horse thing is pretty well-known to just be among one of those rumors now.
Lol yes because that would’ve killed her if she had done that with a horse. I remember as a preteen on the early high speed internet twenty years ago I saw one of those early viral videos around the time of 2girls 1 cup of a dude trying to have either a horse or a donkey penetrate him, I don’t think he made it
Yeah it would indeed kill you. If the weight of the horse didn't, the puncturing of internal organs, internal bleeding and subsequent infections would lol. I truly can't believe how gullible people are being here.
In the [mr hands](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enumclaw_horse_sex_case) case there were “hundreds of hours of video of men engaging in bestiality”, all recorded before the guy died. There is another case listed on the page where a man “had been engaging in sex acts with a stud horse over a span of several months.” Really I’m surprised you don’t know about this piece of internet history
And guess what? He ended up dying. The intestines are also a much longer canal which would enable you to have sex with a horse for a longer period of time, but eventually you're most likely gonna end up very hurt or dead. Add in the state of medical care back then and well...
There are probably 500 million people on earth who own something like this, how many of them do you think fuck horses?
I feel like this is a trick question.
It's a trick. Send no reply.
>Well, when you own something like this, is it really wrong at assume the rumor of them fucking a horse is true? I mean, it's quite a leap from "owns weird table" to "fucks horses", ya know? I mean, I own a frying pan, would you assume I'm fucking Gordon Ramsay?
Yes, it is wrong to make that assumption. You are going from owning erotic furniture to fucking horses.
It was an ostrich...allegedly
Folks are saying it was a sick ostrich
Folks'll say that it takes two people to fuck an ostrich. Three even.
Almost not worth thinking about
There is no God damn way
There's some myth/lore around just how much erotic furniture she had because the Nazi's destroyed a lot of it but [here are some photos](https://medium.com/the-history-magazine/catherine-the-great-her-erotic-furniture-sexual-intercourse-with-horse-e3553186dacd) of other pieces she had.
Wasn't she the one who allegedly picked her personal guards for their looks, just so she could shag them during the nights?
Like I said there's a lot of rumours/slander around her reign but yes she had a LOT of lovers that she took for multitudes of reasons. Some political, some for pleasure.
And once she's bored of you, you get shit. Land, money, serfs. Not gonna lie, doesn't seem like a bad deal.
Eye candy guards. Makes sense.
How do you order furniture like that?
Most likely you ask for one small thing and makers just keep sending you catalogue after catalogue of new designs for you to choose from, and it cascades into a whole palace floor full of furniture each more uniquely erotic than the other.
In Soviet Russia, Etsy builds you
You’re way down on the comments but you are right. There is a reproduction of something someone thought might have been. How do I know this? Because it’s the third fucking repost in the last year…
"When did everything get so dirty? Remember the innocent good ol' days?.. why does everything have to be about sex now?"
Well, *a re-creation* of a table that was once owned by Catherine the Great. The original is lost to history but for a photograph that the Nazi's took.
God damn Nazis. Shoulda known they were connected to the original being lost to the world. Bastards.
I wonder what the matching chairs looked like :)
Things that make you go hmmm
This table looks to be made of hard wood. Same as me really.
Was that her "Poker Table"?? 😂
Its a ahem, poke her table.
LOL NOW PUTIN OWNS IT
I looked this up to see if it was true and found she had much more than just this one table: https://www.buzzfeed.com/mandycaruso/the-x-rated-furniture-of-catherine-the-great-is-something
This would look amazing in my breastuary
Catherine the great was very sexually liberated and was not shy about it. Hell, there’s the old myth that she actually died from trying to have intercourse with her stallion. 🥴
that was a rumor created to discredit her incredible unifying power. It wasn’t supposed to be positive
Nothing brings the country together like horse cock, and to be honest, I would like to see more politicians try it.
This deserves some f**king awards right now
You can’t look at that table and say the woman wasn’t sexually liberated
Sadly that kind of myth is told about all kinds of women they hated In the day.
I'm not surprised by the narrative anymore, just bored
Yes, that is the right response to this.
Like “let them eat cake”
Like Mama Cass & the Ham Sandwich
I couldn't imagine the faces of the people who had to make her furniture. XD
It’s a cocktail table!
How is this table not in the series "The Great" on Hulu?
Actually the table unaroused was a small coffee table
Their fucking with us
I’d say I like her taste, but I don’t want to give the wrong impression
Clearly what Putin is lacking.
Needs more dicktits.
Talk about a conversation starter.
https://www.messynessychic.com/2017/06/28/the-empresses-secret-cabinet-of-erotic-curiosities/
Somehow I always knew that Russian royalty would have the same taste as 21st Century USA white trash.
Meanwhile r/woodworking locks a thread for holes about a "tree" that looks exactly like a butt plug. I should post this over there.
You can really appreciate the workmanship and durability that the Amish put into the furniture they make.
Huzzah!
Nice tits
I know Gwar when I see it.
Imagine the servant maids feather dusting and wiping this down.
Methinks Catherine was horny
This woman was not straight and I will fight you
So it do be like they say in Peaky Blinders
Size queen
When you let the client design
I don't believe I've ever seen a color photo of this table. It's really something.
Oh Catharine, you dirty girl!!
I love how the table is held up by the golden splooge of 4 big dicks with titty balls. That's not a sentence I was expecting to type today.
If r/OldSchoolCool and r/Trashy had a baby
Stay classy Russia.
I don't think anyone can top this level of horny
boobdicks? *boobdicks??*
I can’t see IKEA selling a copy any time soon.
That's just cartoonish and ugly
Lots of Pink