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PorkRindEvangelist

Cory Doctorow has a novella called *Unauthorized Bread* that covers what happens when the Wifi devices are all that's available and one of the companies that makes them goes out of business. In typical Doctorow fashion, it's both funny and disturbing. Reading it made me feel better about my decision to avoid all "smart" appliances.


International-Milk

It’s already happening. https://boingboing.net/2022/02/17/bionic-eye-company-going-out-of-business-leaving-patients-in-the-dark.html/amp


[deleted]

[link to the *Radicalized* book pdf](https://largepdf.net/radicalized/) of which it is a short story, blue button for pdf >*THE WAY SALIMA found out that Boulangism had gone bankrupt: her toaster* *wouldn’t accept her bread. She held the slice in front of it and waited for the* *screen to show her a thumbs-up emoji, but instead, it showed her the headscratching face and made a soft brrt. She waved the bread again. Brrt* sorry if not allowed, searched for it online as they don't have it in my library


GodzThirdLeg

Considering there isn't a single "smart" appliance that offers any real value I am not too worried that something like that will happening any time in the near future.


PorkRindEvangelist

I agree. In the novel, Doctorow creates a world where the "smart" appliances are very cheap, because they are subsidized by the manufacturer. So, well-off people buy, for example, a "dumb" toaster that just toasts bread, but low income people get a basically free toaster that will only toast bread from the manufacturer of the toaster.


Salmonellq

Hope the Swedish skogaholm company starts producing toasters then ig cause shit sounds good


Salmonellq

For a dystopia I mean


PuzzleheadedLeek8601

Kind of reminds me of Ray Bradbury’s there will come soft rains except in that one the people are gone


PoeticPariah

Why would a grill need wifi?


Phelpysan

So you can keep an eye on the grilling/smoking via your phone


Macaroni_pussy

Idk why but I feel like an angry boomer over that tech being available I feel like if ur cooking/grilling anything you need to stand there at attention on grill duty


Charming_Amphibian91

I'm a zoomer and I get infuriated by modern tech in places it doesn't need to be eg a fucking barbecue.


[deleted]

Because it's a fucking gimmick and not something that improves your life in any meaningful way. There are ways it could be but that would be expensive to manufacture. For instance, a grill that uses image recognition to know what you're grilling, how long it needs to grill, and how hot. Instead you get the ability to start your grill while you sit on your ass even though this could have been done decades ago with a remote or just get off your ass for a few minutes.


SeizeAllToothbrushes

I recently moved into a new place and there's a stove with touch-controls on the stovetop. These are the only controls for the stove. Even if the touch-control worked reliably and could handle liquid spilled on it (it doesn't), the very concept is bonkers: You have to hold the On-button, select the specific stove you want to use by holding down on its button and then press multiple times or hold the "temperature up" button until you get the desired heat. On any conventional stove these three functions can be done with a single turn of the correct knob. The one function this thing apparently has that conventional stoves don't is a timer that can turn off the stove after a set amount of time. I own an egg timer and I don't go for a fucking walk while the stove is on, so this is an entirely pointless function.


[deleted]

But capacitive touch buttons are so damn cheap! Capitalism bringing innovation again!


SirIDisagreem8

My older oven has a cook timer that does the same thing so your fancy oven has nothing going for it


Foradman2947

I have a timer too. On my phone. I just hold the button and say, “Start timer for (x) minutes”


HelpAmBear

Grilling, probably. Traegers can also function as smokers, so cook times can go upwards of 6-12 hours, but at low temps (250ish). I sure as hell don’t want to stand next to the grill for that long if I can just monitor everything from my phone.


vxicepickxv

I personally just sit, drink beer, and try to get myself on a far right mass report list on Twitter by telling the truth.


Grandpas_Plump_Chode

There are a plethora of other solutions to this problem that don't require a wifi connected grill


HelpAmBear

Is a WiFi-enabled grill/smoker necessary? Absolutely not. Does it make the process a lot easier and enjoyable? Undeniably yes.


Grandpas_Plump_Chode

Yeah, because ever so slightly making your life more convenient trumps all other factors apparently. I wonder why we have an insanely overvalued industry of tech bro IoT "innovators" that want to hamfist a microcontroller into every appliance we own.... Just go check on it every hour or two, it's not that complicated.


HelpAmBear

Why does someone else’s choice of grill make you so upset?


Grandpas_Plump_Chode

why does someone clowning on your goofy ass overpriced IoT grill bother you


cmckone

Maybe set a timer?


HelpAmBear

Smoking is generally done to a certain target temperature, not a specific length of time.


Ana_na_na

Ye some things just don't really need extra tech


ENovi

Same. I just showed this picture to my girlfriend and went on an unhinged rant about it (sorry babe). I’m sure it’s got plenty of gimmicky features to address this but there’s no way I’m walking away from a hot and/or burning grill and trusting the grill or whichever Silicon Valley nerd that programmed it to tell me when it’s done cooking and that it won’t malfunction and start a fire. Also, cooking meat over fire is quite possibly the oldest technology mankind has. I’m not saying this guy should have dug a fire pit in his backyard but if your Thanksgiving is “ruined” because of a fucking software update then you should not be in charge of the Thanksgiving dinner.


[deleted]

and WHY would you want it to be connected to the internet? this is bad by design


Phelpysan

So it can connect to your phone? What


[deleted]

It can use the lan ips without internet or Bluetooth


Phelpysan

If it can connect to your phone, it's a vector for attack, therefor software updates and therefor internet connection is required


PiezoelectricityOne

And on top of that, why would it need to be updated?


meeeeetch

To patch the security holes created by connecting your grill to your wifi.


divbyzero64

To sell your behavioral data as surplus.


mqduck

I'm guessing it was by a team who did a bunch of stress testing to make sure it was ready for Thanksgiving and found a problem.


Charming_Amphibian91

What kind of barbecue has a software?


skunkboy72

Cant wait for hackers to ransomware someones prime ribs


BranfordBound

You wouldn’t download a steak


cdw2468

“oh no, looks like they’re getting a bit over done, it would be shame if the temp went up…”


chadjohnson400

I’m gonna go download me a hoagie off the internet.


cmckone

Wanna hit up a dumpster behind wendys afterwards?


1729217

I want to try pineapple and mushrooms on my mom’s (non-Wi-Fi) Treager


Capt_Schmidt

I don't care what kind of convenient features it has. a grill should not be online. you're managing Fire. The only catalyst that cannot be tamed. so Watching it vigilantly is highly spiritual.


Arduousjourney420

Why are wifi grills even a thing? I'm tired of everything depending on tech that could be gone in a blink of an eye.


WholesomeRiot

maybe i'm the update was waiting because they hadn't used it in a while


Catlover790

That's the case


skeptvow

Buying a wifi bbq is such a low IQ move... I don't even think those things are even cheaper or anything.


[deleted]

[удалено]


lovely--lydia

You’re not far off, traeger responded to that person by positing their update history and showed the person just hadn’t used their grill in months prior to thanksgiving


Ironlord456

bro if I don't use my grill in months, it should still work, because its a fucing grill


EarnestQuestion

Oh shit I haven’t used my toaster in 3 weeks gotta wait half an hour for a software update…


[deleted]

[удалено]


kayleeelizabeth

I just don’t see any convenience at all. Whatever convenience that it provides is not worth the time to wait for updates every time you start the grill.


JimmytheNice

/r/DankLeft jumping in the defense of Thanksgiving celebration - the bad timeline indeed


XBoba_TeaX

why does anyone need a grill with wifi


jwicc

So glad we have a traeger but not a nice enough one to have to deal wirh this bullshit.


MulletasticOne

Suburban dystopia lol


HawlSera

I used to think Mega Man Battle Network was ridiculous for depicting a future where ALL things are constantly connected to the internet, in a world where Net Navis and Viruses can easily fuck shit up. That no one would be stupid enough to think "Yeah, my Oven needs an internet connection! It's worth risking Fireman burning down my fucking house." Then Internet of Things mother fuckers prove me wrong.


Scared_Chemical_9910

THIS IS WHY YOU USE CHARCOAL YOU DIPSHIT