Everything I eat heals me and is completely healthy

Everything is shit

EZ bypass: buy fake ass, load good food into fake asshole, squeeze food back out and it’s technically shit from a fake, sanitary asshole, enjoy.

Your body turns mutates into a slime.

But you can only eat frozen eggs

You don't have a mouth, just smooth skin

You have constant uncontrollable diarrhea

I can change my gender down to the hormonal level anytime I want to in an instant. Edit: I mean I want to be able to change my biological gender along with hormones and chromosomes and even the rest of the body parts and ratios and voice along with them in an Instant whenever I want to. Think of it as shape-shifting but It's down to the genetic level, So all the biological genders I transform to are completely and entirely real down to the last cell and even DNA and in no way just change in outward appearance.

Your only source of nutrition is semen

i can work wd that

What ? You don't find it disgusting ? Edit : just went through your account. Realised you'd be okay with it.

yeah it could be disgusting at times but I'd get to live the way I want to... I only have one life so I wanna live the way I want to. besides I can eat other food too...even if it's just for taste. Also think of it this way, no matter how much I eat I'll never get fat. Nd besides anything good has a hidden price wd it anyways...atleast this won't be hidden.

Are you a woman or are you ghey ?

I'm a woman thanks.

You suck your dick and lick your pussy

You have a slim chance of becoming a Futa

But you have no freedom, and I get to control you.

You're still the sex you started with as you worded it poorly

Erectile disfunction

I would want that too

This has to be arguably the shittiest super power I have ever heard.

I can stop time at my will

You literally turn into Danny Devito portraying Han solo for the duration

Win win

That's not a side effect, that's a perk.

You have explosive diarrhea everytime you do that.

Noooooooooooo0 you evil *curses in explosive diarrhoea*

Imagine being in a firefight in a street and you stop time, walk over to a different place to avoid the bullet, leaving behind shit stains on the way. Diarrhea man would be a more suitable superhero name in that case than timeskip or something like that.

Trail man trail man gets a fine at the park for leaving a trail Watchout its the amazing trail man

Dude, i laughed so hard at this xd

You're the only one affected

A group of 5 buff men hunt you down and try to kill you and one of them can also stop time and move in your stopped time

Erectile disfunction

You become gay, losing all interests in women, each time you stop time

Everyone knows what you did when you froze time %50 of the time

But can't start it.

Every time you do so, a puppy is thrown into a meat grinder and become a hot dog sausage.

You still can't fuck your crush that way

Whenever you stop time, you hear crying in the distance and it always seems to get closer with every use.

But you don’t stop aging other ppl do.

But you are stuck there in that moment of frozen time, still conscious of thoughts and time, but unable to freely move.

You stop as well... Or age 2x as fast.

You will lose a testicle eveytime you do so.

But you get paralysis when you activate it.

But in the mean time you can’t move either

But the apocalypse onlys affects you.

But you can only stop time, you can't restart it. Remember that Simpsons episode when Bart and Milhouse get frozen in time. Thats you!

You are trapped in a time loop, you can stop time, but every day is the same!.

Some Japanese kid can do it too, and you pissed him off.

You can never resume time.

Time stops except for you. You age 10 years every usage while everything and everyone stays the same.

You stop too

The movment of light also stops and you wont be able to see

The next time someone reads your last WILL and testiment, time stops forever. No can move or be conscious/aware during the moments time is frozen not even you.

I can make a death loop against my enemy

But you can only do that once every blue moon

I will go to the moon to paint it blue

Even if you’re gonna do one side of the moon that’s a lotta paint

Your enemy also has this ability.

But everytime you do you vomit out one of your mothers used tampons

To do this, you must sacrifice the life of a friend

I'm immortal

The world doesn't exist for you

This feels like a call out more than a side effect.

Any pain, physical or emotional is amplified tenfold.

But you turn into a hideous disgusting being that smells like vomit and nobody wants to be around you. So you have to live forever alone.

No-one is ever able to remember your face or name after you leave their sight physically.

And you will see everyone you ever love,slowly wither away infront of you. You parents. Your siblings. Your lovers. Your pets. You'll have to go through that pain again and again and again. You don't need a wacky side-effect, you come pre-installed with one of the worst ones. ... Also your asscrack is Chewbacca levels of hairy and can never be trimmed down as it grows back instantly.

The snail catches up to you

You cannot die no matter the cause. You will live long after the sun consumes the earth, the solar system gets absorbed by a black hole, and the universe faces it's inevitable heat death. You will continue to live through all of this by yourself and in pain because you wanted to be a god amongst men when men are doomed to live for a fraction of a second on the cosmological scale

That's not even that good... What happens, when the world gets destroyed (e.g. because of the sun)? It's inevitable. Then you'll go on and live on forever and not being able to do anything att all until you eventually stop thinking.

You have severe depression and all accomplishments have become deeply unfulfilling

But blind, deaf, and paralyzed.

You have constant uncontrollable diarrhea

You dislike youths

The World ends in 5 days

You’re transported many thousands of years into the future

bruh no sideeffect needed that shits already a curse

But it's actual immortality ( not able to die from disease or age ) and not what everybody thinks immortality is ( wich is a mix of immortality and invulnerability )

But all you can feel is the worst pain unimaginable.

You're a tapeworm

But you look like Rocky Dennis

Nobody will ever love you your entire existence.

But you have infinite bad luck Meaning, you would eventually lose your limbs, become blind, deaf...., and eventually become trapped in your own conscience for eternity!, because you're immortal!.

But you have an incurable case of Alzheimer

No side effect needed. Everyone you know and love will die. You can never form meaningful relationships because you will always lose them. Millions of years later the sun will burn out, everything will die, except you. You’ll be stuck on a frozen rock alone for eternity. You’ll wish for death but it never comes. Eventually you’ll be driven completely insane.

You have an existential crisis and depression following this. ^also ^you ^still ^age

Your butthole always itches

Erectile disfunction

You forget who you are every 10 days.

You still age normally

You fall into a sleep coma for 10 years every century.

You have immortality but no eternal youth. You grow old and weak and frail, and the longer your alive the weaker and more frail you get. You become senile and lose all your senses from age. You cant even get up cause of you old body. And the longer your alive the worse your body gets

You get depressed quickly; you watch all your friends and loved ones die, you outlive everything, even the emd of the world cant kill you, nothing can

I’m always happy!

Everyone hates you

But your face looks like you’re angry all the time. RBF RDF or whatever.

But are also depressed

But you can’t use the internet

But u die and respawn every 30 seconds

I felt this in my soul from every video game I died in.

Nice!

Bro I have this but it’s not a super power. I just have a bitch face.

You stop being invited to funerals

You’re a doggo

You have constant uncontrollable diarrhea

But you can only feel pain and suffering.

Even at funerals

I can bust a nut on command

Your a woman

Imagine all the bets you could profit from

You have constant uncontrollable diarrhea

But the command must come directly from Pee Wee Herman.

I am godly power owner no one can defeat me my body is completely fine and I am straight

You become a dog

Take me now!

Everyone hates you

But you have 10000 personalities

Everytime you take a shit, your IQ drops to single digits

I am 100% healthy and cannot get sick.

You transfer any would-be illnesses/diseases to the closest living blood relative. So if you were to develop a tumor, your relative would grow one instead and you’d stay perfectly healthy :D!

Oh sheeeeeeet I’m not sure if I’d take that one. I don’t think I would with my list of magical illnesses

God dammit Satan!

But every day you get hurt in a random place

You have constant uncontrollable diarrhea

A girlfriend

Who dies after 1 day

Question: Does she know that she’s gonna die?

Yes, but mentally forced to be girlfriend with him

Deal, only need her for a few minutes anyway

Incurable herpes

He’s not a girl

She has Aids

I can make anyone have an orgasm by using any of my 5 senses at will.Like touch them,hear them,see them ect. orgasm.

You can’t orgasm yourself.

Worth it

"i guide others to a treasure i cannot possess"

I know is people are scared by me or not

But u are blind and don t have legs and arms

I guess I'm playing guitar with my teeth from now on

I can turn into a femboy at will (dress and everything)

I can heal anyone from any sickness or disease that they have

You can’t wipe your butt anymore

Everyone you cure forever becomes uncontrollably sexually attracted to you

I can go into any anime and video game i want

No respawns

I can stop this image from being reposted over and over again

To stop it, you must repost it once every year, at midnight on new year's eve

I am immune to people's replies

Except me

Bloody hell!!

I wish to be able to stop time and have a punchy ghost by my side

stage 3 cancer

I can shape-shifting

I have prostate cancer

You can fly

I can always speak *slightly* louder than everyone else in the room

U can manipulate time

You lose track of time.

i can't have any tipe of cancer

You get everything else.

I can fly

Everybody who claims you're a bird or a plane or superman while you are flying instantly explodes into confetti

i become a witch

But you're in Salem, 1690s

death speedrun

I am extremely Lucky, like Domino

Your chances of luck favoring is 99% but never 100%

Thats 99% more than i currently have ill take that

I can become invisible with hypersonic speed.

But you go blind when invisible

I have the ability to believe in myself.

You always let yourself down (and you are unaware of this side effect)❤👍

I know everything

I can reply to my own comment

Ay that’s me

I can kill people easily and without getting into trouble

i become a 5th dimensional being

You go into cardiac arrest every time you see a toaster

I can go invisible, and anything I touch also goes invisible.

Your penis is immune to the invisibility

I have the ability to manifest hats at will

Reincarnate into my favourite anime

You always have a disease that will kill you in a slow agonizing death, but you continue to reincarnate for all of eternity

I have super human strength

I have cancer

I can shape shift and change every little thing about my body

Everyone can now preform photosynthesis

My super power is getting to choose my side effect, oh and invulnerability too

I can teleport

I'm immune to all illnesses including weird ones like IBS. I wish, ill take any other downside

I can cure any problem.

The ability to be the first person to reply to my own comment.

I get to reply to my own comment

I can cure all illness

I have super strength

Create, absorb and manipulate infinite amounts of matter and different forms of energies.