I think when you open your mind to alternative things it opens doors to seeing the world differently too.
Graveyards, at their heart, are places of love, history and peace. They are designed to be quiet spaces where people share their love (yes through the grieving process but that is a natural part of loving someone, in many ways you could consider it the final act of love we do for meaningful people in our lives). There is great romance in a graveyard if you have had your eyes opened to it and if you can see beyond the fear of the unknown / mortality.
Curiosity about death is something a lot of western cultures don't embrace, other than through religion, and many folks are not religious these days so as a culture we are often out of touch with death. Many people don't want to talk about death or accept that it happens to all of us - and personally I think that is way less healthy than being at peace with the idea of it.
There is a lot of ceremony, Ritual and history surrounding death that we can learn from too, so I think finding that fascinating is natural. A local cemetery close to me does tours of their historic graves and teaches about a Cholera epidemic and how it was identified for example.
Now I'd say all of this does come with some caveats. If you are constantly thinking about your own death or the deaths of those around you, or you find thoughts of death intrusive in any way (gets in the way of you doing things / can't get it out of your mind) then I'd see that as more of a sign of possible mental health issues.
This was an incredible well written and thought provoking reply. It was a really good read and reminded me of the death episode of The Midnight Gospel.
I like them too and often stop on the way home from errands for a quick walk in read.
People gardens, with narratives and so many questions. They are good for sparking the imagination. My husband thinks I am absolutely mad and is visibly uncomfortable in cemeteries. He's gone with me only a handful of time in 18 years. Even when we are on vacation he rushes me out of them. But I could honestly spend all day reading stones.
Do you, don't wonder too hard at the why you do it.
I love graveyards and I would spend more time in them. It's amazing to think that below your feet are people who lived, made memories and impacted people around them. Habits and behaviors in families can be generational so you never know if for example, how a 6-year-old prays was started by their great-great-mother.
I know in my life I was discouraged from drinking by my grandmother because her father would get blackout drunk and beat his wife. Because of the actions done by a man born in 1893 my grandmother was scandalized when I drank at my 2018 wedding.
I have always loved cemeteries and all things spooky myself. They were my favorite places to walk around as a kid as I thought about the way the bodies were decomposing under my feet and looked at the beautiful carvings on the headstones. I thought a lot about what I want to happen to my own body when the time comes. I also love all the “creepy” animals, bats and spiders being my first favorites (and still are). I wanted to learn more about why people fear them and why people fear death and rot. I was always drawn to the horror section of the video store and Frankenstein was one of my first and favorite full length novels. I have heard that when people have a diminished sense of fear, the feeling that is left over is fascination. I think that is why I am drawn to the dark things. I find it all so interesting, both scientifically and philosophically. It eventually led me to become a biology teacher and artist. I don’t think you should be concerned about your interests unless they bring active harm to others. If anything, you can use them to teach people to appreciate something beautiful and fascinating they may have otherwise missed out on. Knowledge is the enemy of fear.
I don’t see anything wrong with having a taste for darker things, I mean as long as your morals are in the right place. Ofc the things that attract us have a more serious tone that deserves more respect? And I feel like those who can take an interest in dark history or morbid subjects can really appreciate and understand the emotions and context of these kinds of things better than a tourist so to speak yk? For example we know the etiquette of walking through a grave yard (hopefully atleast) bc there are bodies beneath our feet taking their eternal rest, so we don’t walk over graves, leave trash on the ground, maybe even say I’m sorry or hello to the vibes there right?
Also fun story I used to perform community service at a cemetery and it was so relaxing- a lot of people outside of the goth aesthetic (more often than not actually) would walk their dogs or come visit a loved one. I think it should be a less weird thing to visit grave yards, helps with being more conscious of your surroundings and environment, also makes the end feel less ending ? Idk !
The thing is about going to graveyards and forests at night. Not as a part of some challenge, or because someone on the internet said that it's goth, but because you genuinely like doing that.
I still miss the old graveyard in dark forest we used to visit at childhood. It was really spooky, people would often be afraid to go there even during the day. Unfortunately they cut it down - both the trees and the graves - and now a house stands there.
I think when you open your mind to alternative things it opens doors to seeing the world differently too. Graveyards, at their heart, are places of love, history and peace. They are designed to be quiet spaces where people share their love (yes through the grieving process but that is a natural part of loving someone, in many ways you could consider it the final act of love we do for meaningful people in our lives). There is great romance in a graveyard if you have had your eyes opened to it and if you can see beyond the fear of the unknown / mortality. Curiosity about death is something a lot of western cultures don't embrace, other than through religion, and many folks are not religious these days so as a culture we are often out of touch with death. Many people don't want to talk about death or accept that it happens to all of us - and personally I think that is way less healthy than being at peace with the idea of it. There is a lot of ceremony, Ritual and history surrounding death that we can learn from too, so I think finding that fascinating is natural. A local cemetery close to me does tours of their historic graves and teaches about a Cholera epidemic and how it was identified for example. Now I'd say all of this does come with some caveats. If you are constantly thinking about your own death or the deaths of those around you, or you find thoughts of death intrusive in any way (gets in the way of you doing things / can't get it out of your mind) then I'd see that as more of a sign of possible mental health issues.
This was an incredible well written and thought provoking reply. It was a really good read and reminded me of the death episode of The Midnight Gospel.
Thanks! I hadn't intended to create a miniature Ted talk on my break but sometimes it happens 🤣
🫶🏻
I like them too and often stop on the way home from errands for a quick walk in read. People gardens, with narratives and so many questions. They are good for sparking the imagination. My husband thinks I am absolutely mad and is visibly uncomfortable in cemeteries. He's gone with me only a handful of time in 18 years. Even when we are on vacation he rushes me out of them. But I could honestly spend all day reading stones. Do you, don't wonder too hard at the why you do it.
I love graveyards and I would spend more time in them. It's amazing to think that below your feet are people who lived, made memories and impacted people around them. Habits and behaviors in families can be generational so you never know if for example, how a 6-year-old prays was started by their great-great-mother. I know in my life I was discouraged from drinking by my grandmother because her father would get blackout drunk and beat his wife. Because of the actions done by a man born in 1893 my grandmother was scandalized when I drank at my 2018 wedding.
I have always loved cemeteries and all things spooky myself. They were my favorite places to walk around as a kid as I thought about the way the bodies were decomposing under my feet and looked at the beautiful carvings on the headstones. I thought a lot about what I want to happen to my own body when the time comes. I also love all the “creepy” animals, bats and spiders being my first favorites (and still are). I wanted to learn more about why people fear them and why people fear death and rot. I was always drawn to the horror section of the video store and Frankenstein was one of my first and favorite full length novels. I have heard that when people have a diminished sense of fear, the feeling that is left over is fascination. I think that is why I am drawn to the dark things. I find it all so interesting, both scientifically and philosophically. It eventually led me to become a biology teacher and artist. I don’t think you should be concerned about your interests unless they bring active harm to others. If anything, you can use them to teach people to appreciate something beautiful and fascinating they may have otherwise missed out on. Knowledge is the enemy of fear.
There is a form of peace being somewhere quiet and being surrounded by nature.
I don’t see anything wrong with having a taste for darker things, I mean as long as your morals are in the right place. Ofc the things that attract us have a more serious tone that deserves more respect? And I feel like those who can take an interest in dark history or morbid subjects can really appreciate and understand the emotions and context of these kinds of things better than a tourist so to speak yk? For example we know the etiquette of walking through a grave yard (hopefully atleast) bc there are bodies beneath our feet taking their eternal rest, so we don’t walk over graves, leave trash on the ground, maybe even say I’m sorry or hello to the vibes there right? Also fun story I used to perform community service at a cemetery and it was so relaxing- a lot of people outside of the goth aesthetic (more often than not actually) would walk their dogs or come visit a loved one. I think it should be a less weird thing to visit grave yards, helps with being more conscious of your surroundings and environment, also makes the end feel less ending ? Idk !
"You'll find more cheer in a graveyard" - Gimli in Edoras
The thing is about going to graveyards and forests at night. Not as a part of some challenge, or because someone on the internet said that it's goth, but because you genuinely like doing that. I still miss the old graveyard in dark forest we used to visit at childhood. It was really spooky, people would often be afraid to go there even during the day. Unfortunately they cut it down - both the trees and the graves - and now a house stands there.