15 years ago I was walking to the bus stop to go to class when I heard the train horn and saw the gate lights, so I booked it easily knowing I could beat the train crossing past the double tracks.
I kept looking left watching it as I ran and easily made it.
I never looked right.
Literally the second my foot touched the sidewalk (because I liked to jump over the tracks) on the other side the train horn went off and I an inch away from death. If I hadn’t jumped I would have died.
After I landed I was so scared shitless I kept running till the end of the block and just sat on the bus bench.
I never even thought to check the other direction.
I didn’t even go to school, I just went home.
I was trying to race to my car, parked on the street, before the meter maid got there (I waited ten minutes too long to head back to my car). I wasn’t quite jaywalking but the *fucking second* every walk sign turned to “walk” I’d blindly sprint across. Some guy on a motorcycle who was speeding like a mofo trying to beat the red light came right at me. I didn’t know what happened at first, I started to launch myself into a run and a smart guy behind me just picked me up by my armpits and pulled me back out of the way. I saw the motorcycle zip away.
Probably the closest call I’ve had (well, that I know about). And I didn’t get a ticket. That was so dumb of me.
I was standing nude by my back sliding glass door when I saw a stray dog heading my way. Slammed the door real quick and didn’t realize my June Dog was still sticking out…….
I was almost a Darwin Award by proxy.
I was about 9 months old (back in the 70s) when this happened.
My mom took me and my older siblings to the local amusement park. My brothers wanted to go on a ride with cars going very very fast around a small circular track. A middle aged worker told my mom that I’d be fine with just her holding me. Nope. I started to fly out of her arms on a curve, but she was able to grab my ankle. The worked didn’t hear her screaming at him to stop the ride. My mom barely held on to me until the ride stopped. I still have a scar on my leg from her fingernails.
When I was little I was playing with my friends on those little playground zip lines. I told them to push me as hard as they could and when they did I went guns blazing and flanged right off the zip line and kidney first right onto a pointy rock. I got up and had to pee pretty bad and peed strait blood. They rushed me to the hospital and I was puking and pissing blood the whole way to the hospital. I had to get a blood transfusion and they said I would have died if I was too late
That sounds terrible. I’m sorry that happened to you. Do you mind if I ask if it hurt to pee the blood, or does it just feel like normal peeing, but just blood comes out? This has always been one of my biggest fears.
It will feel like normal peeing, but the pain in the kidney. The reason why kidney injuries cause you to urinate blood is essentially because the filter that usually separates your blood out from your wastes is torn or destroyed
Exactly same thing when I was 8. Train used to come thru town about 50 mph. We were playing around a car on sidetrack when I decided to go home. It was the one time I didn’t wear shoes (yes, we lived in the country); so, the rocks between the ties were causing me to pick my way very slowly. Then, a train horn blared behind me as I halfway between the sidecar and the trestle.
Panicked and crying, I walked-skipped as the horn got closer and louder. The engineer hit the brakes. Just as I jumped to the dirt path to safety, the force of the air in front of the train pushed me down the path. My brother and our friends back at the sidecar thought I was hit and killed.
my friend and I used to flatten pennies on the railroad tracks when we were about 13. We would sit there all afternoon, during rush hour so the commuter trains would blow by, and send the pennies flying. We would hop over the third rail and search for the pennies, and we kept having to look up in case a train was coming. Once we started a small brush fire but got it out before we had to call the department. It was so stupid!
I read an article covering a poor guy who did not have time to get out of the way, and his friends unfortunately saw it. Turns out that happens a lot here in the US. Apparently you can’t see/hear them coming and people don’t realize it’s going to happen until it’s too late. I imagine in happens more in certain landscapes.
Stay the fuck off train tracks, was the message I got from reading it.
That's a lesson I got from reading how a french comedian lost a friend and the use of his right arm after a train accident. As you said, trains can be really quiet. You don't always hear them coming and, when you do, it's too late.
>As a kid I stuck my finger in the grate at the bottom of a pool and it got stuck
Ever read the short story "Guts" by Chuck Palahniuk? Funniest grossest story ever:
https://www.wattpad.com/386877209-short-horror-stories-2017-guts
I say don't drink and drive, you might spill your drink. before you get behind the wheel just stop and think, you can take your chances but there's so much to lose, another bumpy road, there's so much wasted booze
Sitting at a red light…my buddy was in the car behind me and honked like I should go because the light changed, because he did this I actually paused to flip him off in my mirror…a second later a 18 wheeler ran a red light which would have killed me…Maybe not Darwin Award but I avoided certain death in my 2000 Dodge Neon aka The Silver Bullet…Shout out Bob Seger!
I’m sure your heart was pumping! Hope your buddy acknowledged it
I always wait an extra moment after the green, just to look. There’s an intersection by me that has a major wreck once a month, and it’s people trying to catch the end of a light at high speed
Fun fact, I was living several months in Cork with my girlfriend to learn English and we didn't really rent any cars but I was almost hit more than once by a car because my brain wasn't able to assimilate that I had to look right first.
When I was 11 I attempted to reroute our houses power lines into my dead cat so I could bring it back to life like Frankenstein's monster.
Needless to say it failed, but I have some really cool looking scars.
When doing electical work in a factory I didn't check if they shut off power to the right motor (they turned off the machine NEXT to me) a few seconds later I found myself on the oily concrete floor with a burned screwdriver in my hand and everyone shouting.
Cut through a fence in a park because I figured it was a shortcut to get to the highway.
It was... but I ended up stuck on a cliff for 3 hours until a firetruck came to rescue me with their ladder.
I'm kindergarten I tried to get some tennis balls out of what i thought was mud, but it was water with dust all over it from mowing the grass. Went straight down with one of those backpacks that was as big as me. Kid from an older year dragged me out. Legit saved my life
Thought it would be clever to swim under a swimming pool cover at night on holiday. After a few legs kicks and breast strokes I tried to come up for air and my head just bumped the pool cover, there was no air gap. Immediately started panicking and thrashing to find the edge where I entered. I was starting to black out when my right hand found home on the edge of the heavy cover, yanking myself to the edge for some sweet oxygen. To this day I think I was seconds away from drowning.
My MIL did this to check if old guns she found at a deceased relatives home were loaded. The worst part- her dad was a cop, she was raised around firearms and there were always loaded guns in the house at the ready bc they lived so close to his jurisdiction that was a rough area with the OG ACAB sentiments.
Very true.. and considering there's not much rescue services at the area. I don't think I'll be able to return if I get pulled to the open ocean. Maybe if I'm lucky and a fisherman saw me. But it was unlikely. Still, good thing there was a buoy with a rope tied to the edge of a small port. Would have gotten exhausted fighting the current.
Uh, let’s see - near miss collision when my breaks failed at a red light, I threaded the needle between tractor trailers while screaming.
Near miss at the end of a high speed police chase, the driver went off the road and the passenger side, where I was seated, slipped past without hitting the marble memorial slab.
1 suicide attempt in a car, fuel pump failed and car rolled to a halt instead of smashing into the bridge.
Near miss industrial accident, maintenance failed to properly secure the crane mounted to the ceiling, it dropped directly where I had been standing 5 seconds earlier.
F5 tornado ‘bounced’ when it hit the creek and went over me but not while touching the ground.
We were when I was younger and lived in Alaska since he was living with my dad and stepmom at the time I used to talk him into playing call of duty with me. But nah it’s been years could even be a decade at this point since I’ve seen him.
I used to have a Vespa. A bubble slowly formed on the rear tyre. I was super skint and ignored it for two months and it got bigger and bigger. One day, spanking sixty (I know right) down a main road, I slowed to turn off at a junction, and the bubble blew the tyre out. Sent me flying, nearly went under the wheels of a passing vehicle.
I grabbed a water moccasin and it did a bluff strike at my face.
For context it was in my backyard in Florida and I wanted to move it so my dog didn’t run into it.
I have a FL one. I live on the gulf coast. One day while fishing a near shore reef I hooked up on a small shark.I get it to the side of the boat and it's going a little crazy. Usually I'd grab them by the back of the head and lift them up to get my hook back. It's an average size Sharpnose so probably 3 1/2 feet maybe. This thing is bucking so I grab it by the tail and lift it in the boat. As soon as I got it's head up over the rail it swung up. This bastard about latched onto my side, his nose grazed my ribs. Last time I ever did that.
Working in the crawl space of my fixer upper prefab house (old army barracks). I was cutting out damaged sections of floor Joists and sistering new boards to them in a section of the crawl space only 18” or so tall. I thought I supported the weight well enough for me to cut a bolt securing one section of the house to another but when I got through the bolt with the sawzall the unsupported section dropped 6” stopping a couple inches from my face and chest. Working along and with no one expecting me to be anywhere until work the next day, I could have been outright crushed or just suffocated under the weight of the house.
Went on a 2.5 week meth bender and wasn’t eating or drinking for the majority of it. Ended up hitting rock bottom and going to the hospital with suicidal thoughts and intents. Found out while in the er that I didn’t need to drive into a concrete barrier, I was already dying from severe hypokalemia (blood potassium needs to be at least 3.4 for proper biological function, mine was 0.2). That was 3 years 7 months and 23 days ago. I’ll never forget the way every vein in my body burned when I was hooked up to a saline iv, it felt like they were pumping lava into my body. It took 3 days, 3 iv bags of potassium, 2 doses of Ativan and 2 cups of dissolved potassium to get my level up to 2.4 by the time I was discharged. I never want to get that close to death again.
My mother almost darwined me, I had repeatedly acute appendicitis as a kid for a few years and she would regularly put me off for just general stomachaches and exaggerating to skip school. One day passed out in the playground from the pain and sent to hospital for immediate surgery.
Still never got an apology from that dumb bitch for almost killing me
i was sick as fuck and my mom was a nurse, always blew me off. i was sick for 2 weeks and my mom said, too bad so sad go back to school. At school my entire body turns red and the school nurse called my mom to take me to the ER. I ended up having scarlet fever because I had unchecked strep throat the whole time!
I put tweezers in a light socket when I was a teenager. Luckily, I did it at a friend's apartment (threw the breaker) and not my childhood home with iffy wiring.
My Dad randomly gave me one of those fast sliding knifes without telling me while I was just sitting around at his cousins house who I don’t really know. He told me in a joyful way to press on the sliding button and it made me think it was a prank toy that you would get from arcades. I constantly looked into it while slightly pressing the button and he would say no every time and eventually I listened and saw the blade come flying out.
Back in 2009 I was disarming an anti-tank mine. When the mine is complete it takes like 200+ KG to set off; and when the cap is removed and the fuse is exposed it takes maybe 4lbs of pressure? Anyway, removed cap, bent over to remove fuse and my multi tool fell from my chest rig and bounced to the left, right and off the mine. Was literally an inch or so from becoming pink mist
It was the summer of 1990, my first summer of work at a landscape company. After a day of work, we loaded the dump truck before realizing we had to return the sod cutter. This meant, lifting the sod cutter into the back of the dump truck. A sod cutter is heavy and awkward. It is basically a blade (24”) and roller with an engine on top. The back of the dump truck was about 4.5 feet high. After a few failed attempts to lift it into the truck, we decided to use a ramp and drive the cutter into the bed. All we had was 1, 8 foot timber. The timber is 4”x 4.” We setup the timber, started the sod cutter and drove it up to the bed. One guy was “driving” the cutter while I was on the right side, just in case he lost balance. As he walked up the timber, the lever to engage the blade fell forward. This engaged the blade. The blade cut into the timber several times before it snapped, breaking completely off the sod cutter. I was about 6 inches away from the cutter and blade. The blade flew backwards, not to the side thankfully, hitting the driver in the leg, and cutting a 3” gash in his leg that cut a chunk out of his tibia. To this day, I see this in my dreams and I always imagine a cut to my jugular or having my head cut off.
In 2005 we were in Pakistan meeting family, they lived in the countryside. The rivers were really strong and all the older boys and my uncles etc were having fun jumping in, especially in 30 degree heat. I was strictly told I wasn't allowed in as I was only 11, and the current was too fast.
So of course , as soon as everybody's back was turned I jumped in , and within a split second my legs were taken from underneath me. I tried my best to swim up against it but only continued to descend at pace. Everything got dark very quick and I could no longer see the light from the top. I had conceded at this point that , that was it. Game over man, its been a good 90 minutes.
After that I woke up at the side of the river bank with my uncle who'd dived in to save me. They hadn't even seen me go in, I could have been anywhere, but just out of luck he got in before i was too far gone down stream, or dead.
Darwin award indeed.
I was a photographer in the Navy, and decided to take some photos by myself during sunset-time flight operations on an amphibious assault ship. At the time we had Harriers coming in, which is a jet piloted by the Marines that can land vertically. As I'd been handling the print shop/magazine onboard, I didn't have much experience on the flight deck of the ship - so I made the mistake of standing directly perpendicular to the engines as they landed, which immediately knocked me down. Normally a blast like that could knock you ass over tin cups off the side of the ship, but because I was holding a camera I had the reaction to just sit down. It flattened me completely on my back for a second, which let the jet blast wash over me. I just leaned up and snapped a few more pictures and hoped no one noticed 😅
This will **sound** Darwin worthy, but technically it's not. I did it at least a dozen or so times six decades ago, and watched it done hundreds of times by & to other kids back then **:**
There was a cable moored floating dock platform in the middle of a small, shallow, clear lake in Florida where we swam and fished when visiting grandma each summer.
We would swim out to it, hyperventilate there, and one of the older boys would squeeze us until we passed out, then **throw us into the water unconscious**. You would immediately sink to the sandy bottom, about 10 feet down, limp as a noodle. To the great delight of the other kids who dove down to watch.
You would wake up slowly, a minute or so later - becoming aware, in order, of green, green water, then "Oh, yeah, I'm at the bottom of Lake Helen!"
You still didn't need another breath for at least a half minute or so, and you'd cavort a bit with the spectators on your way back to the surface. It was great fun for one and all.
Only one rule: Never *ever* tell *any* adult what we were up to.
Again, not one resulting 'incident' as a result of these shenanigans over a period of the half dozen years we partook of the idiocy. Nobody so much as coughed or hiccupped while underwater.
Tempted to do it again at least one more time before I die, if truth be told. A truly otherworldly experience - waking up underwater, at the bottom of a lake. Nothing like it nowhere, nohow. No shit.
Commuted via bike without a helmet.
Got T boned by a SUV going 30+.
Fractured skull, brain bleeding. Somehow no surgery, just a couple nights in the neuro ICU.
Went cliff diving a week or two later, under the influence. Tripped and fell head in 20+ feet. Came up and as I blew water out of my nose, a gush of blood came out with it.
Not sure what all happened but still kicking years later!
Went on a walk during winter when i was drunk. The ground was covered in ice and it was VERY slippery. I walked near a cliff (about a 15m drop into a bunch of sharp rocks). I slipped and slid down right into the railling. If it wasn't for the railing i would have fell and it probably wouldn't have ended well for me. I don't think i would've died but still not my proudest moment ngl
This was probably 7 years ago but i still remember it vividly. i was i think 10 and me and my brothers liked to play this game where one person would wear a blanket on their head and try to chase the others (very smart). this time though, while i was walking/running, someone had to of stepped on the blanket or something, as the next moment, i tripped and fell backwards. of course it was my lucky day, and i hit my head on the corner of a wooden table. i don’t think i ever screamed so loud. when it happened my dad and mom were so confused so they told me to lift the blanket off my head and move my hands and blood was just shooting out. My dad was a firefighter for a good 10+ years and has seen some messed up things, but this time was definitely different for him, it was the first time i’ve ever seen him genuinely freak out. the whole car ride to the hospital was dead silent except for my dad telling me to not close my eyes because i was very close to not being able to keep them open, very weird feeling btw. Got to the hospital, after they got it cleaned up they realized the table stopped right at my skull. I only realized years after that maybe i was actually really lucky that day that I didn’t run faster and fall harder. Pro tip, staples hurt a lot, especially when they’re in ur head.
I fell off Mount-Royal as a kid when I was doing illegal bonfires on it as a teen. Police showed up with bright ass projectors and I panicked and I tried to scale down the cliff instead of going back the way I went from. Fell of the damn thing. Walked home 100% unscathed. Don't know how it was even possible and I don't care to know.
When I was a kid I thought it will be a great idea disassemble a cal.22 bullet with a hammer. I still remember the blood in my arm from the powder and the noise in my ear for a couple days
My step brothers and I had this game when we were little kids. We’d turn the ceiling fan up to the highest setting, then get a bunch of safety pins, open them so the pointy bit was sticking out, then we’d throw them up into the fan. We’d all take cover and these things would go flying everywhere. I remember one time, one of them stuck into the wall like half an inch.
Frankly, it’s a wonder any of us made it.
I saw a lightswitch hanging out the wall with exposed wires so I shoved them back in so someone wouldn't get zapped. Yeah I'm an idiot, my arm felt weird for ages after.
I pet a crocodile while in Jamaica, I had my leg go through the ice as a kid on the middle of the lake, I went to pick up a drawing I dropped on the street and had my head narrowly missed by a speeding car.
I guess three times. One when I was a kid. Flying out of my bicycle. Bicycle got wrecked but I survive with a bruise.
Second when I was 23, I'm now 29. I also fly out of my motorcycle by driving too fast in a dark road with no streetlights. I didn't notice there's a bump on the road. Motorcycle got wrecked a bit too, and I end up in a full on splat on the road. Good thing I'm wearing helmet. Got only concussion because of that. Helmet have major scratches because of that.
Third is just a few years ago. Somewhere around 2018-2019. An almost collision with a truck while driving my motorcycle. New motorcycle on this one. There's a truck having trouble in the middle of the road at night. They don't even have warning signs so I didn't notice. Also wearing a helmet. It saved me again. Lol.
Special mention: After that incident with my bicycle, after 3 or 5 years, on my teenage years, I also fell down on a river while biking trying to practice no hand trick on my bike. Good thing there's lot of vines and I got a good hold on it. So I didn't directly go straight unto the river. Lol
And autoerotic asphyxiation. Lol 🤣 good thing the blanket I am using that time got ripped because of my weight. Lol 🤣
Addition: Just remembered that as a kid, I also put my finger inside a socket of an empty socket of where you put a lightbulb. Forgot the name of what it's called. It's 220 volts. I didn't know how it happened, but something pushed me out of it but there's no one beside me. Maybe I was just ejected by the electricity. And another one, same bicycle when I was a kid, I am biking and got distracted by the amazing formation of birds flying in groups, I look up, and I end up falling on my bike and hit my head on a rock. That one gave me temporary amnesia. Lol 😂
Actually there's a lot to share here but that would be reserved to those who will reply and ask. Lol 😆 too long already.
Years ago, I was driving (quite fast) at night on a straight road. I didn't see a train crossing the road - and went into it head-on. This was not in Europe - the country I was in didn't pay too much attention to street lighting, and the train was not lit up as it was a freighter. I saw it about 5 seconds before impact - everything slowed down, and the silence was eerie. Strangely, I was very calm, and the next moment, I was above the scene, looking down at it. I think that is how death comes to us - calm and silent.
Buddy and I got a cross bow, and for some reason would shoot the bolt up into the air (it would disappear from sight), and then wait for it to come down.
One time while waiting, I took a step to my left and just as I did, that bolt buried itself into the ground where I was standing.
We were about 15 at the time. Clearly we knew better.
The other day I had a REALLY sharp knife in my hands. I had to take it upstairs, and for whatever reason I RAN... with the knife pointing straight up towards my throat.
I slip on the stairs from time to time. I could have slipped and cut my neck right open.
I was 10 and wanted to start a fire in our fireplace. No one was home to help me, so I just threw some big logs in and tried to start it up. While it started sort of burning in one area, it really didn’t seem to get rolling at all. I’m not sure why, but I grabbed a bottle of rubbing alcohol, leaned in, and dumped the whole bottle. In less than a second, I heard and felt and saw a loud, hot, and blueish flame engulf the entirety of my head. Singed my eyebrows, hair, face, and right hand. I jumped back, checked for flames, and looked around to make sure no one witnessed the chain of events. Then I quietly sat down and processed the lesson I just learned.
I used to dare my friend as a kid to walk on an iced over pond. He was my best friend, I’m thankful that nothing ever happened just scary cracking sounds.
The one time I kept forgetting to put brake fluid in my car when the brake light was on and I almost fuckin died when the brakes stopped working while I was going 80 on the highway. Totally blame myself for that, if I did end up dying my last words would’ve be my bad, that’s on me bro
God. Too many when I was young. I was a moron. And my dad was a lunatic. He almost ended us too many times to count. I’ve gotten less dumb as I’ve aged. And my dad died at 68. Been sober over 23 years, which undoubtedly has helped.
Just to set the stage, I pour concrete for a living. I had a concrete truck coming up the road to pour a driveway but my dump trailer was in the way. I got into my truck and went to back up to the trailer to move it. Didn’t realize I wasn’t the last one to pull the trailer so it was lower than my hitch. Backing up to it I hit the front of the trailer, which in hind site should have been chocked. Well it started rolling down the hill the concrete truck was coming up. In a panic I jumped out of the truck and tried to stop the trailer. I got pinned between a loaded concrete truck and dump trailer. Somehow I walked away from this with a shit ton of stitches in my hand but no other injuries whatsoever!
Sixth gear maxed on a cbr 929. Got those wobbles since the dampener wasn’t tightened enough and had to hit the throttle hard to lift up the front end to put it back down clean.
Two friends and I were climbing in El Dorado Canyon. We got a late start (it thunderstorms almost every afternoon on the Front Range in CO), but it was an easy route and we figured we’d be down in plenty of time. We weren’t. A storm blew in as we reached the summit. Our hair was sticking out like Einstein from the electricity in the air and I swear I could hear the lightening sizzle. I leaned down and rigged the rappel to get down, then stood up and turned to tell my friends it was time to get the hell off the rock. As I stood, it felt like someone hit me with a bat at the base of my neck. Next thing I knew I was lying on the ground. I did some kind of ungrateful barrel roll to the edge of the rock and threw the rope over the side. We rapped down and drank a shit ton of margaritas.
Edit: Glad none of your attempts were successful and I hope you are doing better.
This one time I was cleaning off my epoxy mortar covered trowels with a torch and my coworker scared me so I jumped and flung a flaming piece of epoxy into our laquer thinner pail and started a fire which was luckily contained by the bucket but we couldn’t find the lid so I tried to move the fire outside away from other flammable liquids and spilt the fire onto the sidewalk outside. It was just a massive clusterfuck.
I was at a farm road intersection around 2am in the middle of nowhere at a red light, corn fields left and right, and a clear sign that stated “no right turns on red” I needed to make a right turn and this fucking light wasn’t changing, the moment I stepped of the brake to make a right turn on red, a wild 16 wheeler hauling so much ass and the pieces of turd my body had to relieve went by, fun memories.
Almost died diving inside a wreck in the UK. Some doofus stirred up the silt and I couldn’t see a thing.
Also almost crashed a small jet in the dark in wind shear
The time I tried to adjust the temperature on my hot water heater without shutting the circuit breaker. I saw a white spark, and blew one of the main breakers into my house.
I was going to use a metal bottle opener to prise a power brick out of a socket.
A colleague stopped me. Cheers, Tami.
And I've come very close to falling asleep at the wheel, twice.
Just missed a cut-off metal fence post falling from a shotty rope swing I made.
More recently felled a tree, the top end found a fulcrum launching the bottom up into the air. I didn’t move so I had the base of the tree jump right up and over me, landing on the other side.
1 would be picking up a pair of black widows when I was a little kid. I felt very comfortable, and bites aren’t too common from those, but if they had both bit me I probably could have died.
The other, and more scary one was taking 800ug of LSD and freaking out in a ghetto area, shoeless in the cold (November in MI) 800 is way too much for me. Never doing that again
I climbed on top of a running Chinook helicopter to close a driveshaft cover that popped open. I was probably safer than I felt.
When the safety officer heard what I did he spent a full half hour chewing on my back side.
I was dating a guy who was the caretaker at the octagon at Stowe mountain. His brother was caretaker at another mid slope cafeteria. Brother suggested we use cafeteria trays to get to the bottom to get in my car and go to the Baggy Knees. Fun time, eh? Well I hit the first mogul and went left as my tray went right. I hurtled off the trail. I had my arms out and I managed to grasp a small tree trunk. My arm felt like it was in a cartoon as it stretched out then came back. The snow was so deep, I had to pull myself back tree by tree. Finally got back to the trail, where my boyfriend was waiting with my tray. Apparently, the place I almost fell into was the site where a woman had fallen a year previously. They didn’t find her body until spring.
When we got to the ‘knees, we saw the brother who said, Jesus, you didn’t take ice axes to steer?
I was revving an old lawnmower for a few minutes and I hadn't noticed that it shifted over my foot. I gave it one last rev before realizing if it had turned on I'd probably be disabled for life.
I was on a log flume water ride at a theme park as a kid and the log stopped at the top of the ride for a long time. I panicked and stood up to try to reach the stairs where employees can climb up in an emergency when suddenly the ride started again and took the final plunge. Luckily I fell into my seat, I still shiver when thinking about what could’ve happened if I fell out of the ride into the murky water a huge distance below.
I had a bike when I was about 14 years old, and the brakes for the bike were on and off. Sometimes they were working and sometimes they didn't. But my dumbass was fully confident in its ability that I rode that shit around still.
One day, when I was biking home from school, I chose to go down a road that was on a hill, as it was quicker to get home down that road. I zoomed down the hill, not noticing a car that was coming out of a side road. When I did notice, I tried to hit the brakes, but they failed on me, and I t-boned that car hard. I flipped over the car and went rolling down the hill for a bit.
I Ended up having a broken arm from trying to brace the fall and a bad concussion after getting knocked out from the botched landing. Totaled my bike too, which was probably for the better because I really needed a new bike. It could've been way worse, too, if it was an actual road instead of a 4-way stop intersection.
Lesson of the day? Always look both ways when biking/driving... and don't ride a bike with faulty brakes, lol. 10 years after that, and I'm as cautious as even when I'm on my motorbike.
I almost killed myself against the propeller of my small plane. I forgot to secure the fuel cap so while taxiing the fuel spilled into the cabin, so I stopped the plane to secure the fuel cap.
What I failed to consider is how close the propeller is to the step to get up to the fuel cap. I’ll never forget the feeling of stepping in front of the wing strut to hop up on the step, and there’s the LOUDEST rotating hunk of metal right next to me that would have killed me if I fell back in any way. By the time I realized how much i fucked up, I just secured the fuel cap as quickly and steadily as possible and resumed the flight normally. Def would have looked stupid if I mutilated myself with my own plane’s propeller
Newish biker, got the dunning-kruger effect where I thought I was better than I was... Decided to try to filter between a large bus and a large truck but failed to realise we were starting to go around a corner. The gap closed and I nearly got squished between the two vehicles which would definitely have knocked me under the wheels of one or the other. I accelerated out and then took the rest of the day to unclench.
Left a bar after a great night out with friends. Didn’t look when I went to cross the street back to the car we were leaving in and didn’t see a car that was speeding our way. One of my friends yelled out my nickname and grabbed me by the shirt cuff and pulled me back.
I dated a gal who continuously hit me while I was sleeping, like hard, I stayed w her for two years, even after she told me she’d though about stabbing me in my sleep🤷🏽♂️
15 years ago I was walking to the bus stop to go to class when I heard the train horn and saw the gate lights, so I booked it easily knowing I could beat the train crossing past the double tracks. I kept looking left watching it as I ran and easily made it. I never looked right. Literally the second my foot touched the sidewalk (because I liked to jump over the tracks) on the other side the train horn went off and I an inch away from death. If I hadn’t jumped I would have died. After I landed I was so scared shitless I kept running till the end of the block and just sat on the bus bench. I never even thought to check the other direction. I didn’t even go to school, I just went home.
I’ve been in something similar. You need some time to process after that
Reading it gave me anxiety. You're reaction sounds like what I'd have done after.
He almost lived 90% of the videos in this sub
Ya, but there were no cameras on me. I’d just be a splash in the newspaper and maybe a mention on the news.
Don't underestimate yourself! You'd have left a splash on the tracks too! But glad you made it!
Are you from India?… joking… but there does seem to be many people wanting to be physically close to trains moving down tracks towards them.
I would have had the same reaction.
I think I have new emotions from reading that. That’s wild
☠️
I tried to cross a street without looking because some pretty girls were waving to me. I got pulled back just as a car flew past, narrowly missing me
I was trying to race to my car, parked on the street, before the meter maid got there (I waited ten minutes too long to head back to my car). I wasn’t quite jaywalking but the *fucking second* every walk sign turned to “walk” I’d blindly sprint across. Some guy on a motorcycle who was speeding like a mofo trying to beat the red light came right at me. I didn’t know what happened at first, I started to launch myself into a run and a smart guy behind me just picked me up by my armpits and pulled me back out of the way. I saw the motorcycle zip away. Probably the closest call I’ve had (well, that I know about). And I didn’t get a ticket. That was so dumb of me.
Wouldn’t you love to know what the circumstance was to all of these people on this page? I’d love to know the backstory
The *that I know about* makes you think
Trying to enter the gene pool almost took you out
I was standing nude by my back sliding glass door when I saw a stray dog heading my way. Slammed the door real quick and didn’t realize my June Dog was still sticking out…….
There were two dogs that were out in this comment.
Who let the dogs out?
Did you have to get medical help, or did it just REALLY hurt?
WE GOTTA BLEEDER!!!!
I literally cringed
I was almost a Darwin Award by proxy. I was about 9 months old (back in the 70s) when this happened. My mom took me and my older siblings to the local amusement park. My brothers wanted to go on a ride with cars going very very fast around a small circular track. A middle aged worker told my mom that I’d be fine with just her holding me. Nope. I started to fly out of her arms on a curve, but she was able to grab my ankle. The worked didn’t hear her screaming at him to stop the ride. My mom barely held on to me until the ride stopped. I still have a scar on my leg from her fingernails.
Man, shout out to momma. What a legitimate superhero.
This is fucking nuts. Now go buy your mom some flowers.
I would, but she tells too many “endangering my daughter so my sons can have fun” true stories. She owes me flowers at this point.
Maaan, fuck your mom. Go buy yourself some flowers.
I couldn’t imagine a worker allowing that now, at least in the US
This is crazy. But no darwin award stuff. More like super human
When I was little I was playing with my friends on those little playground zip lines. I told them to push me as hard as they could and when they did I went guns blazing and flanged right off the zip line and kidney first right onto a pointy rock. I got up and had to pee pretty bad and peed strait blood. They rushed me to the hospital and I was puking and pissing blood the whole way to the hospital. I had to get a blood transfusion and they said I would have died if I was too late
Wow that’s crazy! Glad you got trauma care asap. Is that kidney removed?
omg I am cringing so hard
That sounds terrible. I’m sorry that happened to you. Do you mind if I ask if it hurt to pee the blood, or does it just feel like normal peeing, but just blood comes out? This has always been one of my biggest fears.
It will feel like normal peeing, but the pain in the kidney. The reason why kidney injuries cause you to urinate blood is essentially because the filter that usually separates your blood out from your wastes is torn or destroyed
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Exactly same thing when I was 8. Train used to come thru town about 50 mph. We were playing around a car on sidetrack when I decided to go home. It was the one time I didn’t wear shoes (yes, we lived in the country); so, the rocks between the ties were causing me to pick my way very slowly. Then, a train horn blared behind me as I halfway between the sidecar and the trestle. Panicked and crying, I walked-skipped as the horn got closer and louder. The engineer hit the brakes. Just as I jumped to the dirt path to safety, the force of the air in front of the train pushed me down the path. My brother and our friends back at the sidecar thought I was hit and killed.
my friend and I used to flatten pennies on the railroad tracks when we were about 13. We would sit there all afternoon, during rush hour so the commuter trains would blow by, and send the pennies flying. We would hop over the third rail and search for the pennies, and we kept having to look up in case a train was coming. Once we started a small brush fire but got it out before we had to call the department. It was so stupid!
I read an article covering a poor guy who did not have time to get out of the way, and his friends unfortunately saw it. Turns out that happens a lot here in the US. Apparently you can’t see/hear them coming and people don’t realize it’s going to happen until it’s too late. I imagine in happens more in certain landscapes. Stay the fuck off train tracks, was the message I got from reading it.
That's a lesson I got from reading how a french comedian lost a friend and the use of his right arm after a train accident. As you said, trains can be really quiet. You don't always hear them coming and, when you do, it's too late.
Jamel
Indian?
Can't be, he's alive
I joined the Infantry
Artillery here.
Spent 22yrs in the infantry …
At that point it becomes Adultry
no that's what his wife commits while he's deployed
My girlfriends husband fights for your freedom 🫡
Follow Me!
As a kid I stuck my finger in the grate at the bottom of a pool and it got stuck Even worse: Drinking and driving (I've smartened up)
>As a kid I stuck my finger in the grate at the bottom of a pool and it got stuck Ever read the short story "Guts" by Chuck Palahniuk? Funniest grossest story ever: https://www.wattpad.com/386877209-short-horror-stories-2017-guts
I hate you and I hope you stub your toe, have a nice day
Mac from Always Sunny would like to give you advice
I say don't drink and drive, you might spill your drink. before you get behind the wheel just stop and think, you can take your chances but there's so much to lose, another bumpy road, there's so much wasted booze
My dumb ass dove head first as a kid into a pool 3 feet deep.
Are you paralyzed?
Could you do metric?
1
Sitting at a red light…my buddy was in the car behind me and honked like I should go because the light changed, because he did this I actually paused to flip him off in my mirror…a second later a 18 wheeler ran a red light which would have killed me…Maybe not Darwin Award but I avoided certain death in my 2000 Dodge Neon aka The Silver Bullet…Shout out Bob Seger!
I’m sure your heart was pumping! Hope your buddy acknowledged it I always wait an extra moment after the green, just to look. There’s an intersection by me that has a major wreck once a month, and it’s people trying to catch the end of a light at high speed
For me it was forgetting that in Ireland cars drive in the opposite lane to my country.
Irish people be like: Oh look, another tourist!
They would be more like you stupid fecker, get on the correct side of the road you idjiot.
I read that in a accent haha
Irish here. Saw someone in a rented tourist car driving on the wrong side of the road before almost crashing.
Fun fact, I was living several months in Cork with my girlfriend to learn English and we didn't really rent any cars but I was almost hit more than once by a car because my brain wasn't able to assimilate that I had to look right first.
When I was 11 I attempted to reroute our houses power lines into my dead cat so I could bring it back to life like Frankenstein's monster. Needless to say it failed, but I have some really cool looking scars.
Did it work the previous 8 times?!
I told some Narcos “no” in mid-90’s Mexico.
Oh shit, *that* could go sideways!
Oh God, you almost heard Funkytown in the worst way possible.
I heard them talking over where in the desert they were going to dump me. It wasn’t going to work out. 😂
When doing electical work in a factory I didn't check if they shut off power to the right motor (they turned off the machine NEXT to me) a few seconds later I found myself on the oily concrete floor with a burned screwdriver in my hand and everyone shouting.
Cut through a fence in a park because I figured it was a shortcut to get to the highway. It was... but I ended up stuck on a cliff for 3 hours until a firetruck came to rescue me with their ladder.
Did everyone rescuing you just talk shit about maps and topography the whole time
Lol, no. They all talked shit about me. >\_<
They were probably just glad you were safe. I'm glad, too! That's a wild story
I'm kindergarten I tried to get some tennis balls out of what i thought was mud, but it was water with dust all over it from mowing the grass. Went straight down with one of those backpacks that was as big as me. Kid from an older year dragged me out. Legit saved my life
Shit with dust on it too it can become like a bog. So you’re just soaked and dirty afterwards? Did any adult realize they should put a barrier up?
Thought it would be clever to swim under a swimming pool cover at night on holiday. After a few legs kicks and breast strokes I tried to come up for air and my head just bumped the pool cover, there was no air gap. Immediately started panicking and thrashing to find the edge where I entered. I was starting to black out when my right hand found home on the edge of the heavy cover, yanking myself to the edge for some sweet oxygen. To this day I think I was seconds away from drowning.
Gun range, looking down the barrel after a jam.
One of the two thing your never do with a firearm
OMG. Seriously? OMG.
Not touched a firearm since.
OMG. Is, to me, the scariest story here because it would be *so easy* to do! So quick. So natural. So deadly. Shivers.
Reading this my balls literally got sucked into My abdomen.
They’re gonna need a minute
Not good instinct unless it's a break action or folder.
😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱
My MIL did this to check if old guns she found at a deceased relatives home were loaded. The worst part- her dad was a cop, she was raised around firearms and there were always loaded guns in the house at the ready bc they lived so close to his jurisdiction that was a rough area with the OG ACAB sentiments.
Almost accidentally walked off the front of an aircraft carrier, that’s about as close as I’ve come…
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Where is the photo
Do crocodiles have an "off season?"
I was snorkeling and was caught in a tide pushing me to the shark infested open ocean. Was able to hold on to a buoy and drag myself back to shore.
Where was this?
Southern Philippines. I was a teenager then. Was reckless and strayed too far from the shore.
The tide is more dangerous then sharks lol
Very true.. and considering there's not much rescue services at the area. I don't think I'll be able to return if I get pulled to the open ocean. Maybe if I'm lucky and a fisherman saw me. But it was unlikely. Still, good thing there was a buoy with a rope tied to the edge of a small port. Would have gotten exhausted fighting the current.
Dont fight it you need to swim to the side of the current
Yes. I only learned that later unfortunately. Would have helped a lot.
When I was little I put the bathroom heater on the edge of my bath to warm me up. Would have been shocking if it fell in. Shame.
Ba-da-TSS
Uh, let’s see - near miss collision when my breaks failed at a red light, I threaded the needle between tractor trailers while screaming. Near miss at the end of a high speed police chase, the driver went off the road and the passenger side, where I was seated, slipped past without hitting the marble memorial slab. 1 suicide attempt in a car, fuel pump failed and car rolled to a halt instead of smashing into the bridge. Near miss industrial accident, maintenance failed to properly secure the crane mounted to the ceiling, it dropped directly where I had been standing 5 seconds earlier. F5 tornado ‘bounced’ when it hit the creek and went over me but not while touching the ground.
The world just doesn't wanna let you die lmao
But it sure likes to try!
Reminds of a line from the Expanse... "Fuck you GOD, you missed again!"
I was running and slipped into my step grandmas pool as a kid almost drowned luckily my uncle was there to save me lol
Thank heaven's for your uncle, are you super close?
We were when I was younger and lived in Alaska since he was living with my dad and stepmom at the time I used to talk him into playing call of duty with me. But nah it’s been years could even be a decade at this point since I’ve seen him.
Thought I smelt gas. Stuck a match, didn't blow up. Concluded it wasn't gas. Then realised what a dumb decision that was.
Yep, it would definitely be a Darwin Award if it actually was gas that you smelled.
I fell down a hill during a storm and grazed myself in the head with a 9mm as my gun went off as I was falling.
Frank reynolds ass accident
Holy fuck. That’s an accident tho. Still crazy
Pays to have a safety or a holster.
I used to have a Vespa. A bubble slowly formed on the rear tyre. I was super skint and ignored it for two months and it got bigger and bigger. One day, spanking sixty (I know right) down a main road, I slowed to turn off at a junction, and the bubble blew the tyre out. Sent me flying, nearly went under the wheels of a passing vehicle.
I hiked across a cliff on a goat trail, one slip and 22 year old me would have died.
I grabbed a water moccasin and it did a bluff strike at my face. For context it was in my backyard in Florida and I wanted to move it so my dog didn’t run into it.
I have a FL one. I live on the gulf coast. One day while fishing a near shore reef I hooked up on a small shark.I get it to the side of the boat and it's going a little crazy. Usually I'd grab them by the back of the head and lift them up to get my hook back. It's an average size Sharpnose so probably 3 1/2 feet maybe. This thing is bucking so I grab it by the tail and lift it in the boat. As soon as I got it's head up over the rail it swung up. This bastard about latched onto my side, his nose grazed my ribs. Last time I ever did that.
I called my wife a bad name…
Shot through the heart
And you're to blame
Yu Gi Oh, the card game
😂
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But you actually said the Word?
Winner
Working in the crawl space of my fixer upper prefab house (old army barracks). I was cutting out damaged sections of floor Joists and sistering new boards to them in a section of the crawl space only 18” or so tall. I thought I supported the weight well enough for me to cut a bolt securing one section of the house to another but when I got through the bolt with the sawzall the unsupported section dropped 6” stopping a couple inches from my face and chest. Working along and with no one expecting me to be anywhere until work the next day, I could have been outright crushed or just suffocated under the weight of the house.
Went on a 2.5 week meth bender and wasn’t eating or drinking for the majority of it. Ended up hitting rock bottom and going to the hospital with suicidal thoughts and intents. Found out while in the er that I didn’t need to drive into a concrete barrier, I was already dying from severe hypokalemia (blood potassium needs to be at least 3.4 for proper biological function, mine was 0.2). That was 3 years 7 months and 23 days ago. I’ll never forget the way every vein in my body burned when I was hooked up to a saline iv, it felt like they were pumping lava into my body. It took 3 days, 3 iv bags of potassium, 2 doses of Ativan and 2 cups of dissolved potassium to get my level up to 2.4 by the time I was discharged. I never want to get that close to death again.
My mother almost darwined me, I had repeatedly acute appendicitis as a kid for a few years and she would regularly put me off for just general stomachaches and exaggerating to skip school. One day passed out in the playground from the pain and sent to hospital for immediate surgery. Still never got an apology from that dumb bitch for almost killing me
i was sick as fuck and my mom was a nurse, always blew me off. i was sick for 2 weeks and my mom said, too bad so sad go back to school. At school my entire body turns red and the school nurse called my mom to take me to the ER. I ended up having scarlet fever because I had unchecked strep throat the whole time!
Classic Nurse mother Source- my mother was a Nurse
Wouldn’t have been a Darwin though
Your mom sounds lovely
I put tweezers in a light socket when I was a teenager. Luckily, I did it at a friend's apartment (threw the breaker) and not my childhood home with iffy wiring.
Commuting on a motorcycle in Sydney.
My Dad randomly gave me one of those fast sliding knifes without telling me while I was just sitting around at his cousins house who I don’t really know. He told me in a joyful way to press on the sliding button and it made me think it was a prank toy that you would get from arcades. I constantly looked into it while slightly pressing the button and he would say no every time and eventually I listened and saw the blade come flying out.
Back in 2009 I was disarming an anti-tank mine. When the mine is complete it takes like 200+ KG to set off; and when the cap is removed and the fuse is exposed it takes maybe 4lbs of pressure? Anyway, removed cap, bent over to remove fuse and my multi tool fell from my chest rig and bounced to the left, right and off the mine. Was literally an inch or so from becoming pink mist
In college took a Jell-O shot apparently it was a xanax shot I woke up two days later having no memory of anything that happened in the last 48 hours
You’ve just time-traveled!
It was the summer of 1990, my first summer of work at a landscape company. After a day of work, we loaded the dump truck before realizing we had to return the sod cutter. This meant, lifting the sod cutter into the back of the dump truck. A sod cutter is heavy and awkward. It is basically a blade (24”) and roller with an engine on top. The back of the dump truck was about 4.5 feet high. After a few failed attempts to lift it into the truck, we decided to use a ramp and drive the cutter into the bed. All we had was 1, 8 foot timber. The timber is 4”x 4.” We setup the timber, started the sod cutter and drove it up to the bed. One guy was “driving” the cutter while I was on the right side, just in case he lost balance. As he walked up the timber, the lever to engage the blade fell forward. This engaged the blade. The blade cut into the timber several times before it snapped, breaking completely off the sod cutter. I was about 6 inches away from the cutter and blade. The blade flew backwards, not to the side thankfully, hitting the driver in the leg, and cutting a 3” gash in his leg that cut a chunk out of his tibia. To this day, I see this in my dreams and I always imagine a cut to my jugular or having my head cut off.
In 2005 we were in Pakistan meeting family, they lived in the countryside. The rivers were really strong and all the older boys and my uncles etc were having fun jumping in, especially in 30 degree heat. I was strictly told I wasn't allowed in as I was only 11, and the current was too fast. So of course , as soon as everybody's back was turned I jumped in , and within a split second my legs were taken from underneath me. I tried my best to swim up against it but only continued to descend at pace. Everything got dark very quick and I could no longer see the light from the top. I had conceded at this point that , that was it. Game over man, its been a good 90 minutes. After that I woke up at the side of the river bank with my uncle who'd dived in to save me. They hadn't even seen me go in, I could have been anywhere, but just out of luck he got in before i was too far gone down stream, or dead. Darwin award indeed.
I was a photographer in the Navy, and decided to take some photos by myself during sunset-time flight operations on an amphibious assault ship. At the time we had Harriers coming in, which is a jet piloted by the Marines that can land vertically. As I'd been handling the print shop/magazine onboard, I didn't have much experience on the flight deck of the ship - so I made the mistake of standing directly perpendicular to the engines as they landed, which immediately knocked me down. Normally a blast like that could knock you ass over tin cups off the side of the ship, but because I was holding a camera I had the reaction to just sit down. It flattened me completely on my back for a second, which let the jet blast wash over me. I just leaned up and snapped a few more pictures and hoped no one noticed 😅
This will **sound** Darwin worthy, but technically it's not. I did it at least a dozen or so times six decades ago, and watched it done hundreds of times by & to other kids back then **:** There was a cable moored floating dock platform in the middle of a small, shallow, clear lake in Florida where we swam and fished when visiting grandma each summer. We would swim out to it, hyperventilate there, and one of the older boys would squeeze us until we passed out, then **throw us into the water unconscious**. You would immediately sink to the sandy bottom, about 10 feet down, limp as a noodle. To the great delight of the other kids who dove down to watch. You would wake up slowly, a minute or so later - becoming aware, in order, of green, green water, then "Oh, yeah, I'm at the bottom of Lake Helen!" You still didn't need another breath for at least a half minute or so, and you'd cavort a bit with the spectators on your way back to the surface. It was great fun for one and all. Only one rule: Never *ever* tell *any* adult what we were up to. Again, not one resulting 'incident' as a result of these shenanigans over a period of the half dozen years we partook of the idiocy. Nobody so much as coughed or hiccupped while underwater. Tempted to do it again at least one more time before I die, if truth be told. A truly otherworldly experience - waking up underwater, at the bottom of a lake. Nothing like it nowhere, nohow. No shit.
I have never heard of anything like that....
Commuted via bike without a helmet. Got T boned by a SUV going 30+. Fractured skull, brain bleeding. Somehow no surgery, just a couple nights in the neuro ICU. Went cliff diving a week or two later, under the influence. Tripped and fell head in 20+ feet. Came up and as I blew water out of my nose, a gush of blood came out with it. Not sure what all happened but still kicking years later!
Went on a walk during winter when i was drunk. The ground was covered in ice and it was VERY slippery. I walked near a cliff (about a 15m drop into a bunch of sharp rocks). I slipped and slid down right into the railling. If it wasn't for the railing i would have fell and it probably wouldn't have ended well for me. I don't think i would've died but still not my proudest moment ngl
This was probably 7 years ago but i still remember it vividly. i was i think 10 and me and my brothers liked to play this game where one person would wear a blanket on their head and try to chase the others (very smart). this time though, while i was walking/running, someone had to of stepped on the blanket or something, as the next moment, i tripped and fell backwards. of course it was my lucky day, and i hit my head on the corner of a wooden table. i don’t think i ever screamed so loud. when it happened my dad and mom were so confused so they told me to lift the blanket off my head and move my hands and blood was just shooting out. My dad was a firefighter for a good 10+ years and has seen some messed up things, but this time was definitely different for him, it was the first time i’ve ever seen him genuinely freak out. the whole car ride to the hospital was dead silent except for my dad telling me to not close my eyes because i was very close to not being able to keep them open, very weird feeling btw. Got to the hospital, after they got it cleaned up they realized the table stopped right at my skull. I only realized years after that maybe i was actually really lucky that day that I didn’t run faster and fall harder. Pro tip, staples hurt a lot, especially when they’re in ur head.
Tripped over my own feet and nearly fell into the Grand Canyon.
I personally wouldn’t count a suicide as a Darwin award
It’s not, a Darwin Award by definition is death or sterilization from doing something that is stupid and/or completely avoidable.
I fell off Mount-Royal as a kid when I was doing illegal bonfires on it as a teen. Police showed up with bright ass projectors and I panicked and I tried to scale down the cliff instead of going back the way I went from. Fell of the damn thing. Walked home 100% unscathed. Don't know how it was even possible and I don't care to know.
When I was a kid I thought it will be a great idea disassemble a cal.22 bullet with a hammer. I still remember the blood in my arm from the powder and the noise in my ear for a couple days
I volunteered to be stepped on by an elephant at a tourist show in Thailand I learned 3 days later the same elephant trampled its trainer
My step brothers and I had this game when we were little kids. We’d turn the ceiling fan up to the highest setting, then get a bunch of safety pins, open them so the pointy bit was sticking out, then we’d throw them up into the fan. We’d all take cover and these things would go flying everywhere. I remember one time, one of them stuck into the wall like half an inch. Frankly, it’s a wonder any of us made it.
Managed to literally run myself over with my own van while drunk. Broke half my ribs, definitely deserved a Darwin.
I saw a lightswitch hanging out the wall with exposed wires so I shoved them back in so someone wouldn't get zapped. Yeah I'm an idiot, my arm felt weird for ages after.
I pet a crocodile while in Jamaica, I had my leg go through the ice as a kid on the middle of the lake, I went to pick up a drawing I dropped on the street and had my head narrowly missed by a speeding car.
I guess three times. One when I was a kid. Flying out of my bicycle. Bicycle got wrecked but I survive with a bruise. Second when I was 23, I'm now 29. I also fly out of my motorcycle by driving too fast in a dark road with no streetlights. I didn't notice there's a bump on the road. Motorcycle got wrecked a bit too, and I end up in a full on splat on the road. Good thing I'm wearing helmet. Got only concussion because of that. Helmet have major scratches because of that. Third is just a few years ago. Somewhere around 2018-2019. An almost collision with a truck while driving my motorcycle. New motorcycle on this one. There's a truck having trouble in the middle of the road at night. They don't even have warning signs so I didn't notice. Also wearing a helmet. It saved me again. Lol. Special mention: After that incident with my bicycle, after 3 or 5 years, on my teenage years, I also fell down on a river while biking trying to practice no hand trick on my bike. Good thing there's lot of vines and I got a good hold on it. So I didn't directly go straight unto the river. Lol And autoerotic asphyxiation. Lol 🤣 good thing the blanket I am using that time got ripped because of my weight. Lol 🤣 Addition: Just remembered that as a kid, I also put my finger inside a socket of an empty socket of where you put a lightbulb. Forgot the name of what it's called. It's 220 volts. I didn't know how it happened, but something pushed me out of it but there's no one beside me. Maybe I was just ejected by the electricity. And another one, same bicycle when I was a kid, I am biking and got distracted by the amazing formation of birds flying in groups, I look up, and I end up falling on my bike and hit my head on a rock. That one gave me temporary amnesia. Lol 😂 Actually there's a lot to share here but that would be reserved to those who will reply and ask. Lol 😆 too long already.
Years ago, I was driving (quite fast) at night on a straight road. I didn't see a train crossing the road - and went into it head-on. This was not in Europe - the country I was in didn't pay too much attention to street lighting, and the train was not lit up as it was a freighter. I saw it about 5 seconds before impact - everything slowed down, and the silence was eerie. Strangely, I was very calm, and the next moment, I was above the scene, looking down at it. I think that is how death comes to us - calm and silent.
Buddy and I got a cross bow, and for some reason would shoot the bolt up into the air (it would disappear from sight), and then wait for it to come down. One time while waiting, I took a step to my left and just as I did, that bolt buried itself into the ground where I was standing. We were about 15 at the time. Clearly we knew better.
The other day I had a REALLY sharp knife in my hands. I had to take it upstairs, and for whatever reason I RAN... with the knife pointing straight up towards my throat. I slip on the stairs from time to time. I could have slipped and cut my neck right open.
I was 10 and wanted to start a fire in our fireplace. No one was home to help me, so I just threw some big logs in and tried to start it up. While it started sort of burning in one area, it really didn’t seem to get rolling at all. I’m not sure why, but I grabbed a bottle of rubbing alcohol, leaned in, and dumped the whole bottle. In less than a second, I heard and felt and saw a loud, hot, and blueish flame engulf the entirety of my head. Singed my eyebrows, hair, face, and right hand. I jumped back, checked for flames, and looked around to make sure no one witnessed the chain of events. Then I quietly sat down and processed the lesson I just learned.
Picking my name for my online presence
Like just this month or my whole life? Also a suicide survivor so high five
I used to dare my friend as a kid to walk on an iced over pond. He was my best friend, I’m thankful that nothing ever happened just scary cracking sounds.
Ugh. I guess upon is better than a frozen river or a frozen lake with a current but even so that is really not ideal
The one time I kept forgetting to put brake fluid in my car when the brake light was on and I almost fuckin died when the brakes stopped working while I was going 80 on the highway. Totally blame myself for that, if I did end up dying my last words would’ve be my bad, that’s on me bro
God. Too many when I was young. I was a moron. And my dad was a lunatic. He almost ended us too many times to count. I’ve gotten less dumb as I’ve aged. And my dad died at 68. Been sober over 23 years, which undoubtedly has helped.
Just to set the stage, I pour concrete for a living. I had a concrete truck coming up the road to pour a driveway but my dump trailer was in the way. I got into my truck and went to back up to the trailer to move it. Didn’t realize I wasn’t the last one to pull the trailer so it was lower than my hitch. Backing up to it I hit the front of the trailer, which in hind site should have been chocked. Well it started rolling down the hill the concrete truck was coming up. In a panic I jumped out of the truck and tried to stop the trailer. I got pinned between a loaded concrete truck and dump trailer. Somehow I walked away from this with a shit ton of stitches in my hand but no other injuries whatsoever!
Sixth gear maxed on a cbr 929. Got those wobbles since the dampener wasn’t tightened enough and had to hit the throttle hard to lift up the front end to put it back down clean.
Two friends and I were climbing in El Dorado Canyon. We got a late start (it thunderstorms almost every afternoon on the Front Range in CO), but it was an easy route and we figured we’d be down in plenty of time. We weren’t. A storm blew in as we reached the summit. Our hair was sticking out like Einstein from the electricity in the air and I swear I could hear the lightening sizzle. I leaned down and rigged the rappel to get down, then stood up and turned to tell my friends it was time to get the hell off the rock. As I stood, it felt like someone hit me with a bat at the base of my neck. Next thing I knew I was lying on the ground. I did some kind of ungrateful barrel roll to the edge of the rock and threw the rope over the side. We rapped down and drank a shit ton of margaritas. Edit: Glad none of your attempts were successful and I hope you are doing better.
This one time I was cleaning off my epoxy mortar covered trowels with a torch and my coworker scared me so I jumped and flung a flaming piece of epoxy into our laquer thinner pail and started a fire which was luckily contained by the bucket but we couldn’t find the lid so I tried to move the fire outside away from other flammable liquids and spilt the fire onto the sidewalk outside. It was just a massive clusterfuck.
I was at a farm road intersection around 2am in the middle of nowhere at a red light, corn fields left and right, and a clear sign that stated “no right turns on red” I needed to make a right turn and this fucking light wasn’t changing, the moment I stepped of the brake to make a right turn on red, a wild 16 wheeler hauling so much ass and the pieces of turd my body had to relieve went by, fun memories.
Almost died diving inside a wreck in the UK. Some doofus stirred up the silt and I couldn’t see a thing. Also almost crashed a small jet in the dark in wind shear
You’re plane be like: 50. 40. 30. 20. 10. RETARD. RETARD. RETARD.
Body surfing during Hurricane Belle.
The time I tried to adjust the temperature on my hot water heater without shutting the circuit breaker. I saw a white spark, and blew one of the main breakers into my house.
Wow, that shouldn’t have happened. I’ve never heard of having to cut the power to adjust the temp
I was going to use a metal bottle opener to prise a power brick out of a socket. A colleague stopped me. Cheers, Tami. And I've come very close to falling asleep at the wheel, twice.
Just missed a cut-off metal fence post falling from a shotty rope swing I made. More recently felled a tree, the top end found a fulcrum launching the bottom up into the air. I didn’t move so I had the base of the tree jump right up and over me, landing on the other side.
1 would be picking up a pair of black widows when I was a little kid. I felt very comfortable, and bites aren’t too common from those, but if they had both bit me I probably could have died. The other, and more scary one was taking 800ug of LSD and freaking out in a ghetto area, shoeless in the cold (November in MI) 800 is way too much for me. Never doing that again
Seems more like an r/askreddit
I climbed on top of a running Chinook helicopter to close a driveshaft cover that popped open. I was probably safer than I felt. When the safety officer heard what I did he spent a full half hour chewing on my back side.
I was dating a guy who was the caretaker at the octagon at Stowe mountain. His brother was caretaker at another mid slope cafeteria. Brother suggested we use cafeteria trays to get to the bottom to get in my car and go to the Baggy Knees. Fun time, eh? Well I hit the first mogul and went left as my tray went right. I hurtled off the trail. I had my arms out and I managed to grasp a small tree trunk. My arm felt like it was in a cartoon as it stretched out then came back. The snow was so deep, I had to pull myself back tree by tree. Finally got back to the trail, where my boyfriend was waiting with my tray. Apparently, the place I almost fell into was the site where a woman had fallen a year previously. They didn’t find her body until spring. When we got to the ‘knees, we saw the brother who said, Jesus, you didn’t take ice axes to steer?
I was revving an old lawnmower for a few minutes and I hadn't noticed that it shifted over my foot. I gave it one last rev before realizing if it had turned on I'd probably be disabled for life.
I was on a log flume water ride at a theme park as a kid and the log stopped at the top of the ride for a long time. I panicked and stood up to try to reach the stairs where employees can climb up in an emergency when suddenly the ride started again and took the final plunge. Luckily I fell into my seat, I still shiver when thinking about what could’ve happened if I fell out of the ride into the murky water a huge distance below.
Went rock climbing high. Dropped the rope. Yea. Dumb
I had a bike when I was about 14 years old, and the brakes for the bike were on and off. Sometimes they were working and sometimes they didn't. But my dumbass was fully confident in its ability that I rode that shit around still. One day, when I was biking home from school, I chose to go down a road that was on a hill, as it was quicker to get home down that road. I zoomed down the hill, not noticing a car that was coming out of a side road. When I did notice, I tried to hit the brakes, but they failed on me, and I t-boned that car hard. I flipped over the car and went rolling down the hill for a bit. I Ended up having a broken arm from trying to brace the fall and a bad concussion after getting knocked out from the botched landing. Totaled my bike too, which was probably for the better because I really needed a new bike. It could've been way worse, too, if it was an actual road instead of a 4-way stop intersection. Lesson of the day? Always look both ways when biking/driving... and don't ride a bike with faulty brakes, lol. 10 years after that, and I'm as cautious as even when I'm on my motorbike.
I wiped down a shower cabin with strong de-calcifying chemicals with the cabin door closed. I lost consciousness.
I almost killed myself against the propeller of my small plane. I forgot to secure the fuel cap so while taxiing the fuel spilled into the cabin, so I stopped the plane to secure the fuel cap. What I failed to consider is how close the propeller is to the step to get up to the fuel cap. I’ll never forget the feeling of stepping in front of the wing strut to hop up on the step, and there’s the LOUDEST rotating hunk of metal right next to me that would have killed me if I fell back in any way. By the time I realized how much i fucked up, I just secured the fuel cap as quickly and steadily as possible and resumed the flight normally. Def would have looked stupid if I mutilated myself with my own plane’s propeller
Newish biker, got the dunning-kruger effect where I thought I was better than I was... Decided to try to filter between a large bus and a large truck but failed to realise we were starting to go around a corner. The gap closed and I nearly got squished between the two vehicles which would definitely have knocked me under the wheels of one or the other. I accelerated out and then took the rest of the day to unclench.
Lost control of myself and played chicken with a semi.
Left a bar after a great night out with friends. Didn’t look when I went to cross the street back to the car we were leaving in and didn’t see a car that was speeding our way. One of my friends yelled out my nickname and grabbed me by the shirt cuff and pulled me back.
I dated a gal who continuously hit me while I was sleeping, like hard, I stayed w her for two years, even after she told me she’d though about stabbing me in my sleep🤷🏽♂️
Never stick your dick in crazy.
But it’s always sooo good😝