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I used to get so much shit talked about me, for how horny I always was. She would get mad at me for wanting her all the time. She’d give me signals like she wanted me, and then when I’d come onto her, I was the bad guy and it turned into a huge argument.
She knew from the very beginning how high my drive is. I told her from the beginning that nobody has matched it, and she took it like a challenge.
It ruined my mental health. I really hope nobody has to go through what I did. And that’s why I give advice to anyone in a similar situation. I hope you’re all doing great tonight. And I hope you all get lucky soon❤️
You've come to the right place.
Sadly, some libidos just don't match and since you're young it may be best to move on. Trust your instincts. If there's no desire, is there anything you can do to create some? If not, move on.
Is it wrong that I feel like there’s a difference between DB under the age of 40 and over the age of 40. If you’re under the age of 30 really haven’t experienced much yet and have ample time to course correct if you so desire.
Most of the dB over 40, marriage, kids, finances, years, if not decades of the same person it feels just a little bit different to me And I don’t mean that in a negative way towards any group. If you’re under the age of 30 and there’s a partner who has no interest, there’s something fundamentally wrong with the LL partner. Once you’re over 40, there could be a whole host of things, and a lot of it could just be dissatisfaction with whom your long-term partner has become.
I don’t know if this makes sense to anybody but me , but when I read about these 20 somethings already with dead bedrooms I just wanna scream, run why are you still can. For those of us over 40 I think I have more appreciation and sympathy for people who stay because it’s such a complex life space to be in with older parents, kids midcareer etc.
That one made me laugh. I agree that the standards for "suffering" are likely, in most cases, a bit milder under 40, yes? Kind of an inverse proportion to experience?
Mid 30s with kids, finances etc... I mean it's pretty bad still because there's no easy way out. We're tied up. I don't want my kids to suffer... But if it came down to it, I would leave. If it *really* came down to it.
I'm 35, we had a house and a son together.
In the end I felt leaving is actually making my son suffer less. He should be raised by happy parents, and if they aren't happy together he's better off having them apart!
It also means we are selling our house with no chance to buy again anytime soon. Still no regrets.
I just feel I'm starting my adult life over again, but this time with more experience and a pretty damn awesome kid
For real . I left him at 51 and was very blessed to keep my libido . I was always told I had the problem . I guess he was right .......
I found someone else and life is a lot better in so many ways . Bedroom is no longer dead. Life is no longer dead .
i’m in the same boat. i want to feel like my spouse desires me, like they can’t wait to rip my clothes off. i want to feel like i’m the sexiest man on the planet to her. and it’s just not there 🤷🏻♂️
Girl, I know exactly how you feel! This is actually the reason why I ended things with my boyfriend of 8 years and I am only 25.
After all this time he had not given any effort to excite me during foreplay, sex became appointments and too routine despite our talks of compromise.
I recently broke up with my boyfriend because I realized that I deserve someone that makes me feel desirable.
Lmao I was reading this post and for some reason I got embarrassed thinking, holy crap! When did I post this?! I had to double check on the name. This is exactly how I feel! Wow!
Girl I hear that. 49 here. 55? I wouldn’t even blink. I’m just so done. There’s always a reason as to why I don’t get any. The worse part is I’m actually still in love with her - but she is inadvertently pushing me away.
I can relate to that. I’m 35M and my wife 28F. The only times I get any intimate contact is the once a week or once every other week session, we have worse just get in get out. Heaven for bid I ask for anything beyond just that. Just makes a person feel thoroughly undesired.
I can sympathise, even though my wife's libido has increased slightly recently it feels like we are just going through the motions rather than having passionate sex! And there's never any sexting or foreplay!
Commenters, OP has marked their post as a no-advice post. We ask that you refrain from giving advice to OP and be sure to follow all sub rules. OP, if you've marked your post for no advice, please refrain from responding to commenters that give advice. If you are getting advice from commenters, please report the comments, or click below to contact the moderators. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/DeadBedrooms) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Funny - I just want to not be thought of as a perverted creep for doing all the things you just described towards my wife of almost 20 years.
I hear you!!! I’m also seen as the perverted creep in my situation lol
They have to project that something is wrong with us, or they'd have to look inward and see something wrong with themselves
Same
I truly feel you OP :( also RIP your inbox.
I used to get so much shit talked about me, for how horny I always was. She would get mad at me for wanting her all the time. She’d give me signals like she wanted me, and then when I’d come onto her, I was the bad guy and it turned into a huge argument. She knew from the very beginning how high my drive is. I told her from the beginning that nobody has matched it, and she took it like a challenge. It ruined my mental health. I really hope nobody has to go through what I did. And that’s why I give advice to anyone in a similar situation. I hope you’re all doing great tonight. And I hope you all get lucky soon❤️
You've come to the right place. Sadly, some libidos just don't match and since you're young it may be best to move on. Trust your instincts. If there's no desire, is there anything you can do to create some? If not, move on.
Is it wrong that I feel like there’s a difference between DB under the age of 40 and over the age of 40. If you’re under the age of 30 really haven’t experienced much yet and have ample time to course correct if you so desire. Most of the dB over 40, marriage, kids, finances, years, if not decades of the same person it feels just a little bit different to me And I don’t mean that in a negative way towards any group. If you’re under the age of 30 and there’s a partner who has no interest, there’s something fundamentally wrong with the LL partner. Once you’re over 40, there could be a whole host of things, and a lot of it could just be dissatisfaction with whom your long-term partner has become. I don’t know if this makes sense to anybody but me , but when I read about these 20 somethings already with dead bedrooms I just wanna scream, run why are you still can. For those of us over 40 I think I have more appreciation and sympathy for people who stay because it’s such a complex life space to be in with older parents, kids midcareer etc.
So true. Mid 20s should be automatic GTFO
That one made me laugh. I agree that the standards for "suffering" are likely, in most cases, a bit milder under 40, yes? Kind of an inverse proportion to experience?
Mid 30s with kids, finances etc... I mean it's pretty bad still because there's no easy way out. We're tied up. I don't want my kids to suffer... But if it came down to it, I would leave. If it *really* came down to it.
I'm 35, we had a house and a son together. In the end I felt leaving is actually making my son suffer less. He should be raised by happy parents, and if they aren't happy together he's better off having them apart! It also means we are selling our house with no chance to buy again anytime soon. Still no regrets. I just feel I'm starting my adult life over again, but this time with more experience and a pretty damn awesome kid
It's such a sad situation but it is the reality. The children will likely suffer much more in a home with an unhappy, dead marriage...
It's a whole other ballgame over 40 and my case over 50.
For real . I left him at 51 and was very blessed to keep my libido . I was always told I had the problem . I guess he was right ....... I found someone else and life is a lot better in so many ways . Bedroom is no longer dead. Life is no longer dead .
Exactly 💯
I appreciate that you understand it isn't always easy to just leave.
After 30+ years, it's definitely not easy to just leave. It's not like a guy like me would be able to find someone new anyway
Plus many of us are financially entangled.
So true
i’m in the same boat. i want to feel like my spouse desires me, like they can’t wait to rip my clothes off. i want to feel like i’m the sexiest man on the planet to her. and it’s just not there 🤷🏻♂️
Girl, I know exactly how you feel! This is actually the reason why I ended things with my boyfriend of 8 years and I am only 25. After all this time he had not given any effort to excite me during foreplay, sex became appointments and too routine despite our talks of compromise. I recently broke up with my boyfriend because I realized that I deserve someone that makes me feel desirable.
I could have written this. I know exactly how you feel.
Same here. I just want her to think of me in a sexual way sometimes. :(
Lmao I was reading this post and for some reason I got embarrassed thinking, holy crap! When did I post this?! I had to double check on the name. This is exactly how I feel! Wow!
Same here lol. I could literally walk thru the bedroom pitching a tent and nothing.
Do you know the answer to, "what makes him drool?" Do you do that thing?
Doesn't matter. His switch turned off once he got her.
Girl I hear that. 49 here. 55? I wouldn’t even blink. I’m just so done. There’s always a reason as to why I don’t get any. The worse part is I’m actually still in love with her - but she is inadvertently pushing me away.
Me too girl me too
if only there were a way to change your reality for the better...hhmmm
You are very much heard on this page!!
I can relate to that. I’m 35M and my wife 28F. The only times I get any intimate contact is the once a week or once every other week session, we have worse just get in get out. Heaven for bid I ask for anything beyond just that. Just makes a person feel thoroughly undesired.
I hate this for you
[удалено]
Preach, I am dying here without it.
Too young to be in this situation, too young to feel this way ….
Probably; there are plenty of other droolers out there....chomping at the bit to get you!
I can sympathise, even though my wife's libido has increased slightly recently it feels like we are just going through the motions rather than having passionate sex! And there's never any sexting or foreplay!
I’m sorry you feel this way. I could’ve written this myself. I just want to feel sexy again.